Five Years Later
by srp2017
Summary: This takes place five years after the mission to the Arctic. Mike has received word that his wife had died, and the whereabouts of his children are unknown. He has essentially given up, resigned his commission and moved several hours away.
1. Chapter 1

**I know its a short chapter, but I will have more later. Please enjoy and review. Not related to any of my other stories and not really based on any one of the seasons.**

 **Five Years Later**

Chapter 1

Mike was officially retired from the Navy. He just couldn't do it anymore. He had several deployments after the trip to Arctic and the Pandemic. Asia, the Med, the Indian Ocean, and shore duty. He helped restructure the government and the Navy after fiasco after fiasco. He had been promoted to Admiral and had been awarded with the Congressional Medal of Honor. He wanted as far from that life as he could get.

He had hired numerous private investigators and worked on finding his family himself. Just before he resigned his commission, he had found out that Christine had died, about the same time he was dealing with the Immunes. The death certificate alluded that she died in childbirth, which made no sense. She had made no mention of a pregnancy when Mike talked to her while he was still in the Arctic. As angry as she was, she would have told him.

What was even more confusing was that the death certificate didn't tell him what had happened to the baby that she had died having or what had happened to his girls. He had no doubt that the baby was his, he just didn't know if the baby or his girls were even alive and the trail had gone completely cold. Hospital records were sketchy at best and had no record of the baby or what his or her name was.

He resigned his commission and bought a small farm, sight unseen a couple hours from St. Louis. The realtor had told him the farmhouse needed work, which didn't bother Mike. He was fairly handy and it would give him something to concentrate on. As much as he loved his friends, he was tired of being upbeat around them. They had all found their families, or at the very least found out that their families had died. They could grieve. He couldn't. Grief meant admitting that his kids were dead, and he couldn't do that.

He packed his apartment up, only taking his clothes and pictures of his family and the crew. Not even bothering with the junky furniture he had. Said his goodbyes to Tom, Sasha, Meylan, Andrea, Russ and assorted other crew. He promised to stay in touch but everyone knew he wouldn't. Tom had pretty well accepted that the next call that he would get regarding Mike would be to tell him that he either drank himself to death or committed suicide. He just couldn't prevent it from happening. Mike was by no means an alcoholic and could get by just fine when he was on deployment, but when he was at his apartment; he had to have the whiskey to even sleep.

Tom helped him load up his truck and watched him drive away. He and Mike had been friends for years, and seen more action then either cared to admit but he couldn't help him with this. No one could. Tom had tried investigating it on his own. Looking at children placed into the system around the time of Christine's death but there was nothing listed for Grace or Hannah, Mike's daughters and they didn't even know rather the baby that Christine had died having lived or died, let alone a gender or name. It was like the baby, Hannah and Grace just disappeared into thin air and no one knew where to look for them.

Mike got to the farm after dark and was glad there was at least a couch to sleep on. The place was a lot bigger than he needed. It had four good sized bedrooms, but he would never use three of them. It wasn't like his kids were going to suddenly appear. Grace was fourteen when he left for the Arctic and so she would be nineteen now. He imagined her going to college and becoming the nurse that she dreamed of being when she was younger. Hannah had been nine and was such a happy child. He could imagine her charming all the boys. He hoped wherever they ended up, they had someone to love and protect them. He didn't ever imagine the baby, because if he or she didn't survive; he didn't want to be too attached to it.

After drinking several shots of whiskey just to feel somewhat sleepy he lay down and listened to the crickets. They lulled him to sleep. The house would need a lot of work and the farm was in disrepair. He needed to go to the nearby town the next day to get some groceries and a bed for himself. He didn't care about any other furniture.


	2. Chapter 2

**Five Years Later**

Chapter 2

Grace had every right to be mad at her father, but she just couldn't. She missed him like crazy. She missed her mom too but knew that her mom was at peace. Grace had been in the delivery room when her mom hemorrhaged after giving birth to Matthew. She never got to hold him, dying moments after he was born. The doctors couldn't explain why she had died. They attributed it to being older but no one knew. Grace had been lucky to look older than what she was and so they handed the healthy baby boy over to her, assuming that she was old enough and knew what she was doing with a newborn. So at nearly fifteen years old, Grace become completely responsible for a nine year old and an infant.

Christine had moved them to an area southwest of St. Louis before she died. Grace never understood why. They didn't know anyone and there was no possibility of Mike looking there. Grace had always felt that it wasn't childbirth that had killed her mother but grief over Lucas and anger towards her husband. Hannah dreamed of leaving the area but it was comfortable and easy for Grace. If anyone knew her age, they didn't say. It was easy to find a job because there were jobs to be had. The only people who knew Grace's secret was the sheriff and his wife. Legally speaking, the sheriff should have never allowed Grace to care for her younger siblings but Division of Family Services was overtaxed in the cities and nonexistent in the rural areas and Grace was stubborn.

The sheriff's wife owned a restaurant and so Grace waitressed. She never went back to school and at sixteen she took her GED test. No one had pushed anything because there was no one was left to care. There was an apartment above the restaurant that the sheriff and Maggie, his wife, allowed them to stay in. They helped Grace with Hannah and Matthew, but left the parenting to her. As soon as she was old enough, she started dispatching at the sheriff's department. She loved it. She still waitressed for extra money and had recently bought herself a car. She was only nineteen but most people thought she was much older. People also thought that Matthew was her son, but she would quickly tell them otherwise.

She sacrificed a lot so Hannah and Matthew could have a normal childhood. She had no idea what it was like to be a cheerleader, or to be in clubs, or any of the things that Hannah got to do. Hannah balked at having to help with Matthew so much and was a little angry at their circumstances and their father but she missed him as much as Grace did. Grace rarely thought of her old life when she got to be a kid and not a parent.

Matthew was now in kindergarten. He loved school and was bright and happy. His teacher thought that Grace was much older and knew that his mom had died and dad was missing. When Grace tucked in Matthew every night, she would tell him about his daddy. It had caused the little boy to think he was a super hero. They also talked about their mom but talking about their dad was much more fun. It gave him an almost fairy tale fantasy but Grace didn't mind. Let Matthew have the illusion. When Grace finally fell asleep on the couch, she would dream about when everything was perfect. Lucas and her mom were still alive, and her dad was home.

She had given the bedrooms to Hannah and Matthew and slept on the couch so Hannah could have some privacy. She worked between twelve to sixteen hours a day several days a week. Everything that she did went to Hannah and Matthew. Their apartment was bright and homey with furniture that Grace found at yard sales and thrown out. She would refurbish it and had learned to sew. There was bright throws, curtains and pillows all over the apartment and the brick walls were covered with drawings from Matthew and her paintings. The one thing that Grace did for herself was buy herself painting supplies. She painted mostly landscapes and they were all over the apartment and downstairs in the restaurant.

She took Matthew and Hannah to school. Matthew always gave her a hug and kiss and she would tell Hannah to behave. She was getting hard to handle. Sheriff and Maggie helped a lot with her, because in the sheriff's words, Hannah was starting to need a "firmer hand" that her sister couldn't provide. Grace would work at the sheriff's department for eight hours and then work at the restaurant until it closed at eight. On Fridays and Saturdays she worked until ten or eleven because the tips were better. Matthew and Hannah were upstairs so she was close by. The only break in their routine was church Sunday mornings and on Wednesday night, Hannah and Matthew went to mid-week services. She wanted them to have a good upbringing that their parents would be proud of.

Grace never really understood why her mom hadn't told Mike about the pregnancy when he called from the Arctic. She had told Grace that she didn't tell him because he needed to concentrate on what he was doing and wouldn't if he knew that she was pregnant. Grace had always felt that Mike had the right to know. He would love Matthew. That was why she concentrated her stories on their dad. Maybe she was a bit angry at her mom. Hannah worshipped their mom and so she would tell Matthew about her.

After getting to work that morning, she had a stack of warrants to enter into the statewide and national system and filing to do. She loved dispatching but she also liked being able to sit in an office, turn her music on and just work. Twenty hours a week that was what she did, the other twenty hours she was in the dispatch chair. Rural law enforcement was still struggling since the pandemic and Sheriff Smith had instituted a program that ex-military had to register at the sheriff's department so if need be, he knew who to call on for help. Grace, being a Navy brat, had been tasked with creating a database and talking to the registrants because she understood some of the acronyms that they used and knew how to "talk their talk." She actually loved it because some of them reminded her of her dad.

Grace had gotten a call from the school because Hannah had talked back to the teacher and ended up in detention. It was the only time that Grace struggled, she hated going to Sheriff Smith and Maggie with all her issues, because she was trying to be all grown up. She wanted Hannah to behave because if their dad suddenly showed up, Grace wanted to show him that she had done well, wanted him to be proud of her. She choose not to tell Sheriff Smith. She would just handle it herself somehow. It just made her tired, and miss her dad all the more. He would have the perfect answer to deal with Hannah. Grace was just getting tired of being the parent.


	3. Chapter 3

**Five Years Later**

Chapter 3

The reason Mike had to use the whiskey to fall asleep was because if he didn't he was plagued with nightmares about his girls and the baby. Them crying for help, asking where he was, lying somewhere dead. The whiskey made the dreams better. He imagined them being happy, laughing, growing. He hated needing the whiskey but he loved the dreams.

He woke up that morning and sit down and wrote out of list of items he needed. Supplies to start cleaning and fixing up the apartment, groceries, furniture, bedding. The realtor had told him that since he was ex-military he needed to register at the sheriff's department. He would be completely happy for no one to know that he was there, but he also wanted to stay on the sheriff's good side.

After showering and shaving, he headed into the small town. He was starving and so decided to get some breakfast before doing anything else. There was only one restaurant in the town, a place called Maggie's. It was in a two story building and looked clean enough. The place had a good breakfast crowd, and had country music playing on the speakers. Food looked decent enough. A middle aged waitress walked up to and gave him a huge smile.

"You new here? Never seen you before, stranger. Need to hear our specials?"

"No, no specials. I want a steak, middle well, two eggs, over easy, hash browns, wheat toast, burnt, no butter, just cinnamon sugar. Black coffee and a glass of chocolate milk. That is what I will always want when I come in for breakfast. Yes I am new here, and no, I don't talk much. Thanks."

Maggie nodded at him and headed to the kitchen. There was something familiar about the man. And the toast? Grace and Hannah both ate their toast like that. Maggie thought it was disgusting but he was a paying customer. He had a military presence, was large, and had a wide set face. His hair was mostly gray, and he had a sad look to him. At one time, he was most likely a very handsome man, but now he just looked wore down by life. He wore a wedding band but seemed alone. It made Maggie feel bad for him.

It didn't take long for his breakfast to be done. Maggie sat it down in front of him and refilled his coffee cup. The man might as well mainline the stuff. Another thing that Grace did. Only difference was Grace poured sugar into her's. He was quiet but not rude. Had good manners, calling her ma'am. Another thing Grace and Hannah both did. Maggie had a nagging feeling about him. She was beginning to wonder if he was the long-lost Mike Slattery.

"So, I like knowing my customer's names. You know mine but I don't know your name. Also like knowing a little about them. Wife, kids, jobs, the whole she-bang. I am not a gossip, just like to know."

"Name is Mike. Was in the Navy. Wife and kids are gone. Just moved here last night. Have a farm outside of town, which brings me to next thing. I need to check into the sheriff's department, need to buy a bed and go grocery shopping, also need some supplies to fix the place up. Where are the places I can do that?"

"Sheriff's Department is on the next block up from the square, by the courthouse. Lumber store, grocery store and furniture store are also on the main drag. Can't miss them. Sorry about your losses, Mike. You didn't ask but there is a church north of town, three miles out. Might help a bit."

"Nothing will help but thanks."

Maggie noticed the look of sadness in the man's eyes. He had obviously been through hell. He was no-nonsense. Said what needed to be said and was done. Also another one of Grace's attributes. Maggie decided to call ahead and tell her husband about her suspicions and that the man would be coming up to register. She might be wrong, but her gut was telling her otherwise. And Alec had always told her to listen to her gut. Mike finished eating, paid his bill and left a tip as he was leaving. He had not said another word so she took the opportunity to call Alec.

"Hey, I just had a new customer. Ex-Navy, looks a little like the kids. Does the same stuff as Grace. His name is Mike but he didn't give a last name. Says his wife and kids are 'gone.' I think he is the kids' dad. I am sure of it. Grace is working today, dispatch or records?"

"She is in records today. I will make a point to talk to him before she does. She doesn't know I know, but the school called. I guess Hannah was showing her butt today. Grace is pretty overwhelmed. I hope it's him. She needs help and not the sort we can give her."

They disconnected and Maggie offered up a little prayer. She and Alec had lost two children in the Pandemic and when Grace, Hannah and infant Matthew showed up they felt the need to help them. The three of them didn't replace their son and daughter but it helped. Grace would only accept so much help, determined to do it on her own. And she had done well, but Hannah was rebellious and was balking at everything. She needed a parent's touch, not a nineteen year old sister. And Grace needed to relax a bit. They had tried to talk to her into taking night classes but she was resistant. She did say that maybe when Matthew got older she would but for now she wanted to concentrate on raising him. And Matthew needed to get to know his father.

Mike decided to go to the sheriff's department first, get it done and over with. He would make it clear that he wanted nothing to do with "helping in a time of crisis." He wasn't capable. He knew that his experience as a cop and as a Naval Officer would make him a hot item for the sheriff but he would only be a hindrance.

The Sheriff's Department was in a small building next to the courthouse, and apparently housed the jail. Walking in, it reminded him as his days as a cop. The sights, sounds and smells were the same as the district building he had worked out of as a cop. Strong coffee, stale air and loud voices. The front desk clerk was also a dispatcher, given the ear piece she was wearing. She looked flustered.

"Hey, my name is Mike. I am ex-Navy and just moved into the area. I understand I am supposed to register here as ex-military?"

"Okay, Sheriff was alerted to you coming in. Wants to speak with you first. I will buzz you in. There is an inner office soon as you walk in through that door. Just have a seat. Can I get you a cup of coffee?

"Yeah, thanks. Any reason why he would want to talk with me?"

"Nope. Have a seat."

Mike sat down and looked around. He didn't want to meet with the sheriff, just wanted to register as ex-military and go on about his business. The dispatcher brought him a steaming cup of coffee and told him the sheriff would be there in a moment. Mike was starting to feel jittery. As much as he would not admit it, his body was craving a shot of whiskey. It was only nine in the morning and Mike refused to give in that much. As promised the sheriff came in and Mike immediately noticed that he seemed to assess Mike.

"I am Sheriff Alec Smith, believe you've met my wife, Maggie already. She told me you were coming in. Wanted to get to know you before I sent my records manager in. Grace will get you registered and we will hopefully never need your skills."

Mike gulped when the name "Grace" was said. It would be hard to talk to another Grace and not imagine his oldest daughter. Over the years he had talked to another Hannah and it bothered him then. Today would be one of those days, and he would want to go straight back to farm and drink himself to sleep.

"Alright, last name is Slattery. Before you ask, yes, I was on the Nathan James, and yes I was the second in command when we brought the cure home. I am retired now and want nothing to do with that life. I don't want to help you. I am only here because I don't want to make an enemy out of the sheriff. Now I will sign whatever paperwork and leave. Last you'll hear of me, I promise."

It was all the confirmation the sheriff needed. He too, could see the pain in the man's eyes. He had heard him gulp, and noticed the tears in his eyes when the name "Grace" was brought up. He and Maggie had come to adore the Slattery kids, but especially Grace. The girl had a lot of grit and from outward appearances that was an attribute that had come directly from her father.

Grace was mid warrant entry when her favorite pen gave out. She had one in dispatch just like and so she decided to grab a cup of coffee, her fourth for the day and steal the pen back from dispatch. After putting about two inches of coffee in the bottom of her coffee cup and pouring the steaming liquid in, she made her way into dispatch. The Sheriff was sitting with a man in the office right off of the lobby which was also next to dispatch, and Grace just gave him a passing look. There was something really familiar about him even from the back, and his voice sounded just like her dads. Maybe she had just had too much coffee but she was drawn towards the room and was mid stride when the man told that his last name was Slattery and he had been on the Nathan James. Had it not been for the jailer standing next to her, she would have dropped the cup of coffee.

"Daddy?"

Mike heard someone say "Daddy," and even though it had been five years since he had responded to it, at least consciously, it still made him turn around to face the voice. There was a young woman, approximately nineteen, but looked older, with wild brown hair pulled up in a ponytail. She was barely five foot tall but looked exactly like Christine. He immediately stood up and forgot the sheriff was sitting there.

"Gracie?"

Grace launched herself at him, and he caught her mid-stride. The hug was exactly the same as the ones her dad had always given. The smell was the same, cigars and the sea. The voice was the same, and he felt the same. She could feel the muscles under his shirt and the strength in his arms. She also felt the tears hitting the top of her head. It was the tightest hug she had had in years.

Alec excused himself and shut the door behind him. They needed privacy not onlookers. It had brought tears to his eyes. He told dispatch that under no circumstances were Grace and her dad to be disturbed and that she would be taking the rest of the week off. He texted Maggie and told her about the reunion and that he was Grace the week off. She would follow suit. Grace had a huge amount of time off that she could take and someone else could do her job duties for a while. She needed to concentrate on her family. It was a gut feeling, but Alec didn't believe that Hannah would have quite the same reaction. Matthew would be thrilled to meet his father but Alec's understanding was that Mike didn't even know that Matthew existed. It was not going to be smooth sailing.


	4. Chapter 4

**Five Years Later**

Chapter 4

Mike had never been hugged so tightly. It was almost like she was afraid to let go. And he didn't particularly want to let her go. The craving for the alcohol was subsiding but his mind was filled with hundreds of questions. What had happened to Hannah and the baby? As thrilled as he was to be holding his oldest baby girl, he wanted to know.

He finally pulled away from her and realized that they were alone. The sheriff had apparently slipped out and shut the door. Mike was thankful for the privacy. He took Grace in. She was put together, a little thin for his liking, and she looked tired. But healthy. She looked a lot like Christine.

"Gracie, I am so glad to see you. I have missed you, and I love you so much! But I have so many questions. How did you end up here? Where's Hannah? Is she okay?"

Grace had no idea rather her dad even knew about her mom. She suspected so, since he didn't ask about her but she had to be the one to tell him for sure. He hadn't changed that much. Hair was grayer, he was thinner but still big, and his eyes looked like he had been in a thousand wars.

"Hannah is okay, she's at school. I don't know if you knew but Mom died. She was pregnant when you called, and didn't want to tell you because she thought you had enough to deal with, I guess. Something happened when the baby was born, and she started bleeding. They couldn't stop it and she died a couple minutes after he was born. No one knew why she bled like that-"

"I knew, I had found the death certificate that she had died in childbirth. I am so, so, sorry. Didn't know the circumstances though or about the baby. Did he survive?" Mike didn't particularly want to put Grace through the trauma of telling about her mother. She was so matter-of-fact that it was disturbing. Now that he knew Hannah was alive, he wanted to know about the baby. He hoped that he had survived but wasn't sure what else to feel.

"Yeah, he survived. Perfectly healthy, he is in kindergarten right now. His name is Matthew. Mom didn't get to hold him or anything before she died. The hospital people thought I was older so they let me take him, assuming I would be his guardian. I didn't want him or Hannah to go into foster care, so I just acted older. I managed to get here and Sheriff Smith and his wife helped us out. But I did everything on my own. I waitressed at Abbie's restaurant and we live in the apartment above it. I got my GED as soon as I turned sixteen and as soon as I could come to work here I did. I tried really hard; probably not as good as you would want but…"

"You did good. I am so proud of you. I just hate that you had to sacrifice so much. I want to see Hannah, meet Matthew. I want to do so much. I want you to not have to be a parent, even though you have done so well. It's my turn."

Mike's heart was breaking. Not because he had found his kids but because of how much Grace had been through. She had not had a childhood and it was his fault. She was raising his younger kids. How could she not be angry? He honestly felt like he was talking to a forty year old, not someone twenty years younger.

"It isn't your fault. Mom is the one who quit. She wouldn't have died if she didn't. You're here now. I am ready for some help. Sheriff and Maggie helped a lot but I couldn't let them do everything. He says Hannah needs a "firmer hand," whatever that means. She may not be very nice to you. I don't know. Matty will be thrilled to get to know you but one thing worries me about that…"

"What's that?"

"Mom died having him and you might be mad at him? It isn't his fault…"

"Until a couple minutes ago, I didn't even know if he was alive. Let alone a name or gender. I can't make any promises how I will do with him, but I assure you, I will never take your mother's death out on him. I will love him. I would like to say that the bond will be instanteous, and maybe it will be, but it might not be. It might be hard. But I will put the work into it to make the bond. I will need your help though, because as much as I hate to admit it, you are the only parent he knows, or has had. He is going to look to you, and he will watch the bond that you and I have to see if it's safe to have the same with me. I know you've had to play the adult for a long time and you haven't had to really depend on anyone, but I am asking for you to do that for Matty. It sounds like I will have to rebuild my bond with Hannah and so he will be looking to you. That is what I need. I know you've had independence and I won't be saying that you can't have that but I need you to let me play dad a bit, even though you're all grown up. I am immensely proud of you for what you've done."

"He's a great kid. I've told him about you a lot. He kind of thinks you're a superhero…Captain America?"

"Hmmm, definitely not a hero. But thank you. I hope you've told him about your mom too?"

"Yea, I have. Hannah talks to him about her a lot. I just don't have much to say in that regard. Listen, I need to finish up my work. And maybe talk to Sheriff about the rest of the day off. Do you want to come to my office?"

"Sure."

As they made their way through the office, Mike noticed how familiar she was with all the staff. The deputies were specifically eyeing Mike but he didn't care. Grace settled him in her office with a fresh cup of coffee while she spoke to the Sheriff. He immediately noticed the school pictures of both Hannah and Matthew or Matty as she called him, and there were pictures of him and Christine. He also noticed the landscape painting hanging on the wall. It looked hand done. It was absolutely gorgeous and he had noticed a few like it in Maggie's restaurant. Her desk was neatly organized with stacks of paper that looked very coordinated. He sat back down because he didn't want her to think he had been snooping. Within a couple minutes she came back in with a bit of an odd look on her face.

"Something wrong?"

"Not really. Sheriff wants me to take the week off and I have the time so I'll get a check, but Maggie is also giving me the week off and I was counting on my tips. I have a car payment due the end of the week and I can cover it, but the starter is apparently going out of the car and Matty was wanting to play little league and the fee is due this week. I was going to use my tip money for it. He'll be upset that I don't have it."

"I can cover it…"

"NOOO! I can't ask you to do that."

"Yea you can. While you finish up, give me the keys to your car. I will check and see about the starter. As far as the ball fee is concerned, I will pay for it. It's my responsibility. What car is it?"

"It's too much. The car is the white Chevy HHR. Don't judge, it is all I can afford…"

She had handed him the keys, kissed her on the top of the head and headed out. He hated that she felt that she couldn't accept financial help from him. Most nineteen year olds didn't t worry about ball fees for their little brother or the starter on their car. And Grace was not going to worry about that stuff ever again.

The car needed junked. The starter was going out, radiator needed replaced and the tires were bald. He had tried backing it up and immediately noticed a slip in the transmission. He would be buying her a new more reliable car in the very near future. He finally got out of it was just shaking his head at it, when Sheriff Smith walked up.

"She won't let you help. Maggie and I have tried. She's…proud. She saved for the car and got soaked. Good for nothing car dealer sold it to her, and financed it for her. Payment is out of sight for this car, $500 a month with a massive interest rate. She pays it on time but never seems to get anywhere. I've tried to talk to him but he doesn't care. And Grace is too stubborn to admit she can't handle it. Her rent is supposed to be covered by her waitressing but she refuses to not give us money for the apartment. She pays rent, utilities, the car payment and insurance, phone bill for her and Hannah's cellphone, groceries, all the adult stuff. Hannah wants the best clothes and stuff and it's overwhelming. My advice is, just pay the bill because she won't ask for help or take any money. I know you feel that is your responsibility but she will take any help as you thinking she is not doing a good job. I have never seen a nineteen year old do what she has with the courage that she has. Hannah is a handful and she knows how to play Grace. Hannah is becoming a real rip. I know she's your daughter and she has her good points, but if someone doesn't put a lid on her soon, she is going to end up in real trouble and Grace can't be the one. I am sorry if I am overstepping but Grace will never tell you any of this."

"You're fine. I need to know. I suspected she wouldn't accept help. I am planning on just buying a car for her. I appreciate all you've done for my kids. I can't think you enough. I don't know how but I will definitely be dealing with Hannah. Any issues with Matty I need to be aware of?"

"No, he is fine, typical five year old. Just be ready because when you do buy the car, she will throw a fit. We paid for a battery for her and she was mad for a month."

"I can handle it."

With that Grace came outside, and thanked the sheriff for the time off. Mike could tell she was still nervous but he would deal with the money issues later. He had a healthy pension for the Navy, and had paid for the farm outright. Other than electricity and phone he had no bills. He could easily handle buying her a car and whatever else was needed. He wanted to eventually move Hannah and Matty out to the farm. He would love for Grace to also live there but he wouldn't force it.

"So where to? Let's leave the car for now."

"I guess my apartment; I want you to see it. Matty gets out of school at 2:30 and Hannah gets out at 3:20 but has after school detention so she won't be home until 6. I need to go grocery shopping and so it might give you some time with Matty, if you want it."

"I do. Let's go."

Mike drove them back to Maggie's. There was a separate entrance to the apartment, apart from the restaurant. Mike could tell that Grace was nervous and excited about the apartment. As they walked in, Mike was impressed. It was clean and homey. It looked a lot better than his last apartment. Open concept with a small kitchen in the corner. The furniture was on the older side but was nicely arranged and had pillows and throws all over. There were more paintings and kid's hand drawn pictures on the walls. Grace had gone into the bathroom to change out of her work uniform. One of the things that he noticed was that she got her clothes out of a dresser that was sitting in the living room, and there was a pillow and blanket sitting on the floor next to couch, telling him that she slept on the couch. He looked in the bedrooms. Matty's was pretty normal for five year old, toys everywhere and sports gear on the floor. The bedroom that Hannah slept in could have easily fit two beds but there was only one double sized one. For whatever reason the girls didn't share a room.

"Sorry about the mess. I had to help Maggie with the morning rush this morning, and Hannah was supposed to clean up breakfast before I took them to school. Matty is a bit of a bear in the morning and she was upset that she had to be the one to wake him up. I hate you seeing it like this."

"Don't worry about it. Looks better than mine. Let's go get some lunch, my treat. I am so proud of you and I want to spoil you a bit."

"You don't have to. But I appreciate it. Maggie's is the only restaurant."

"I love you. I want to help you. With your bills, Hannah, and Matty. I know you've done this all on your own for a while and you've done great. But I want you to take a step back. After lunch, we are going to come back up here and you are going to walk me through your budget. I need to feel like I've done something for you. I hate that I haven't been here. We are also going to be looking into getting you a different car. Your car isn't reliable and I won't have you stranded. No arguments."

Grace pulled him into another hug. He could feel the tension in her shoulders and could tell how tired she was. It was not going to be an easy road for any of them. As much as Mike was thrilled about finding them, his heart was breaking for Grace.


	5. Chapter 5

**Five Years Later**

Chapter 5

Lunch was easy but Grace's budget made his head and his heart hurt. Her rent and utilities weren't bad at all. The car payment was eating her alive. And Hannah's "expenses" were out of sight. She liked having the best clothes, cellphone and certain foods. Grace would have been doing pretty well if it wasn't for that. Her job at the sheriff's office provided her health insurance but to cover Hannah and Matty, it was extremely expensive. He immediately called and had the two of them put on his benefits package and had her call to get them taken off her insurance. Her job as a waitress would supposed to be paying for the rent but Hannah insisted on paying for it. Waitressing didn't pay well but the tips were for incidentals like Matty's ball fee. Slow week, no extra money. He wanted to spend time with Matty but decided to go to the grocery store with Grace to see what types of foods that Hannah was so insistent on.

At two they left the apartment to grab Matty's boaster seat out of Grace's car and pick him up from school. They would go in and put Mike's name on all of the paperwork for both Matty and Hannah. While at the high school, the principal met with them and told them that if Hannah kept up on the course she was going, she would be expelled. Her grades were in the toilet; she was disrespectful to the teachers and had been in a fight with another girl. The principle told Mike that while Hannah was bright and could do the work, she refused.

At the elementary, Mike was filling out paperwork in the office while Grace went and got Matty from his class. The principle at that school talked very highly over Matty and how he behaved, and how well Grace "parented" Matty. It made Mike even prouder of Grace. He wasn't sure how he was going to handle Hannah but somethings were going to straighten out very quickly.

As Grace walked Matty back to the principal's office, she quietly explained to him that their dad had shown up and that he would be seeing him soon. The little boy was over the moon happy. He had finally figured out how to tie his shoes that day and couldn't wait to show his daddy. He also wanted to read to him.

"Do you think he will play catch with me? What about fishing? Can he tuck me in tonight? I want to read my book to him and show him how good I'm doing. Is he gonna be living with us? Where will he sleep? He can share my room…"

"Matty, slow down. I am sure he will do all that stuff. He has a farm of his own so no he won't be staying with us. I would imagine that you'll eventually move in with him but I'm not sure. Here we go; we're back to the principal's office. Remember your manners."

Matty nodded at her and she could tell he was nervous. She was nervous for him and also for her dad. She knew it would be hard for him, because Matty looked a lot like Lucas had. Mike's head was down reading some of the paperwork from the school and Matty ran up to him and practically jumped into his lap. Mike was a little surprised but immediately adjusted Matty to where they could see each other.

"So you're my daddy? Gracie says that you drive boats? Can we go fishing sometime? Gracie and Hannah don't like the worm guts. Are you going to tuck me in tonight? I can read you my book…Oh, look, I tied my own shoe today, see?!"

All Mike could do was laugh, and that felt good. He hadn't done that in a long time. The boy was a squirmy little thing. He had on a pair of shorts and a striped shirt. Both knees had bandages on them, apparently from scrapes. His hair was the same color as Gracie's and he had Christine's brown eyes. He talked a mile a minute and Mike had trouble keeping up. Grace had grabbed the paperwork and finished it and they headed to the truck. Matty hadn't stopped talking and was holding Mike's hand tightly. The little guy had quite the grip on him. He loved that Mike had a truck and when Mike lifted him up to get into it, he immediately gave him a hug. It made Mike feel good, because he wasn't sure how he was going to do with Matty. He knew kids that age were accepting but it had still scared him.

Grocery shopping was interesting for Mike. Grace had a very strict shopping list, and she bought all kinds of stuff for both the two younger kids but Mike didn't notice anything on it that she used to like. Hannah would only eat name brand foods, and wanted organic. Since the pandemic, that stuff was even more out of sight. He didn't mind his kids eating healthy but there was a point. Matty didn't ask for much and only voiced wanting a certain cereal.

"If I get this, are you going to be able to get the kind you like, Gracie?"

"Not this week, but we'll get yours. Hannah wants cashew milk, whatever that is. Think you'll drink it? So I don't have to get regular."

"I can try, but Hannah gets mad at me when I eat her food."

Mike had stayed behind them just listening to the conversation. He was also doing some of his own shopping and so he grabbed the box of cereal that Grace had picked out for herself and then put back and grabbed a gallon of regular milk that would just magically stay in Grace's fridge so Matty would have regular milk to drink. When Grace asked him, he just told her he was doing his own shopping. He had every intention of paying for Grace's food and he would deal with the rest at the apartment.

Mike could tell it frustrated Grace when he paid for all the food at the cash register but she choose not to argue with him just then. Matty had asked for a bottle of lemonade and Grace started to tell him no, but Mike immediately overruled that decision and grabbed three bottles for each of them. He didn't want to undercut Grace's authority but he also needed to establish his own. He knew he would end up over-indulging all three of the kids at different points but he needed to feel needed.

She had gotten the ingredients for spaghetti that night which was apparently Matty's favorite food. Once they got back to the apartment, Grace sit Matty down with his after school snack while she did laundry. She told Mike that she had to do laundry frequently because Hannah changed three to four times a day and she didn't have that many clothes. Mike had already decided that he was taking her to the nearby city the next day to look at cars and would take her shopping for clothes for herself.

Grace started supper and he would finish it and watch Matty while she went and picked Hannah up. She said something about walking up to get her car but he just handed her the keys to his truck. He didn't trust the car at all. He planned on taking the car back to the dealer within the next couple days anyway. He had gotten numerous hugs from both of Grace and Matty, but he knew the test would be Hannah. She had always been so happy when she was younger, but now it sounded like she had become angry and sullen. Grace leaving to get her gave him an opportunity to have some time with Matty and he was much more forthcoming with information.

"So you have a nice room, I saw it earlier. Where does Gracie sleep? It looked like Hannah's stuff is all in the other room."

"Oh, she sleeps on the couch. Hannah wants her own room and so she made Gracie move her clothes out here. I have offered to share my room with her but she wouldn't do it. On days she works late and her feet are tired it would help her to sleep in a bed but she won't switch places with me. Did you drive airplanes too?"

"No just ships. Why did Hannah want her own room?"

"It's closer to the door so she can sneak out the back. Gracie sleeps really hard and so she doesn't hear her. I do though."

"How often does she do that?"

"Almost every Friday night."

"Any idea where she goes?"

"No. She doesn't tell me. But when she gets home it's really late and almost time for Gracie to go back to work. She talks funny and sometimes doesn't walk good. I don't know why though."

"Ok, thanks. Maybe this Friday night you guys can come out and stay with me at my house. Is that something you want to do?"

"Oh yea! Can we go fishing? I really want to go with you!"

"Yea we can. I have a pond and a creek that runs through my farm. I don't know if there are many fish though but we will sure try. Grace said something about you wanting to play little league this year?"

"Yea! But only if Gracie has enough money. I don't want her to spend it on that and then that thing go wrong in her car and she'll have to walk to work. Me and Hannah can ride the bus but she can't.

"I am already helping her figure that out."

"Ok! What do you like to do?"

"Spend time with you kids. I am retired now so I can spend all the time with you. Except for when you're at school. This week I am going to spend time with Gracie and get her some stuff she needs but you can't tell her because it's a secret. Is there anything special she likes to do?"

"I won't! I never had a secret before! She likes to paint pictures. She draws better than me. She did all those on the wall."

"Just remember you have to not tell her. Okay?"

Matty nodded at him. The little boy was almost shaking with excitement. He helped Mike set the table for the four of them. He had no qualms at all about giving Mike hugs and kisses and it felt really good. Bonding with Matty was easy and Mike was already starting to love him.

He was truly nervous about Hannah's reaction to him. Grace had pretty well accepted him back into her life, no questions asked. They had some stuff to smooth out concerning money and responsibilities but Mike had already figured out that Grace really just needed her dad.

He could hear the two girls arguing the entire way up the stairs. Matty had gotten up and went in his room and shut the door. It was like he didn't want to witness whatever would happen. He had no idea what he going to do with Hannah. If he came out at her too aggressively the first day that she was back in his life, it could destroy any hope of a relationship with her. But if he went at it to softly, then Hannah would pit Mike and Grace against one another.

"I am only telling you, you need to be nice to him. He loves you and it won't kill you to say that you love him back. I know that you've missed him. He is the parent we have left, Mom is gone, you need to accept that and move on. He wants to help me and I am going to just let him. And part of that help is helping with you and Matty. Like it or not."

"I am supposed to lie about loving him? That isn't nice. He isn't going to control me."

"You know what, just do whatever. You will anyways. He will at least want to give you a hug. Let him, be respectful. And just a word of warning, he is going to have a fit over that skirt. It couldn't be any shorter."

Mike headed towards the kitchen so it wasn't obvious he had been eavesdropping when they walked in. It was going to be a lot harder than he thought. He loved Hannah and had missed her deeply but she obviously didn't. He would give her the hug but wasn't sure where to go from there. The door opened and Mike's eyes must have gone wide. Hannah was wearing a skirt that barely covered her butt, a too tight shirt and combat boots. Her hair was still as long but had a pink streak in it and she was wearing dark make up. What had happened to his little girl that had dressed up a warrior princess for Halloween? If this outfit was any indication he would be doing some shopping for her too.

"What? Do you have something to say?"

"No. It's good to see you. I've really missed you. I love you…"

"So how long are you here? You'll swoop in, mess things up and leave again."

"I'm retired. I'm here for good."

"Yea right. Grace, we're having spaghetti again? Seriously? Is that all you can cook?"

"No I can cook other stuff, but it's cheap and I always have leftovers. Matty loves it. It can be reheated since you won't cook for him when I work. Now, hug Dad and go put some clothes on."

Hannah stormed past him and slammed the door to her bedroom. He turned around and saw the tears in Grace's eyes. Hearing the conversation and the lack of a hug hurt badly but Grace's reaction hurt even worse. He pulled her into a massive bear hug and just held her. At some point Matty came out and he felt the little boy hugging his leg. Grace finally pulled away to finish supper and he lifted Matty up into his arms.

"Did Hannah make you sad? You got tears in your eyes. She makes me sad sometimes too."

"A little but its okay. Let's get you washed up for supper. Grace, shirt or no shirt?"

"None. He'll make a mess. Thanks."

Mike carried the little boy to the bathroom and helped him out of his shirt. He immediately noticed a bruise on his left arm but Matty wouldn't tell him what had happened. The little boy had kind of a sad look in his eyes.

"It's not okay that Hannah made you sad. You've been really nice to me and Grace told me what a good daddy you are. I can't wait 'til we get to do stuff. But please don't love Hannah because she isn't nice to you."

"Matty, I won't stop loving Hannah no matter how sad she makes me. As far as me being a good daddy, I actually wasn't that good but I want a do-over. As far as you and me doing stuff, I can't wait either."

"I know I just met you, but I love you!"

"I love you too, buddy! Now let's go get some supper. Spaghetti is my favorite too."


	6. Chapter 6

**Five Years Later**

Chapter 6

Thankfully Hannah had changed into her pajamas which were totally appropriate. She almost looked sweet, until she opened her mouth. Then she was cruel. And not just to Mike but also to Grace and Matty. He kept his mouth shut because he didn't want to start an all-out argument over dinner. He did enjoy his supper with Grace and Matty. And despite everything, he enjoyed the time with Hannah. At least she was alive. He would just choose to fixate on that.

After supper, Grace tried to get Hannah to help her with the dishes but she said she had homework. Mike was completely aware that no homework would be done. He was just observing now. He knew Grace needed help but he needed to see how she handled everything. She did extremely well with Matty but where Hannah was concerned, she was frustrated. Mike decided to just help with Matty. It meant spending a bit of time with him, and Mike needed that.

"Matty, how 'bout I give you your bath tonight? Get you ready for bed, that okay?"

The little boy nodded excitedly and looked to Grace for permission. When she nodded at them, he headed to his room to get his pajamas. Grace gave him the Band-Aids to replace the ones on his knees and went back to washing dishes and putting supper away.

It had been a lot of years since Mike had given a kid a bath. Lucas had been the last one, and before Mike left for the Arctic, he had started to grow out of needing help. Matty loved splashing and playing and he spent plenty of time in there. When he started getting goosebumps, Mike finally lifted him out and rubbed him dry with the towel. When he got to the bruise on his arm, Matty winced in pain. It was concerning. He wouldn't tell Mike what had happened and Mike couldn't feel a break but he still didn't like it. The band aids were replaced over the skinned knees and dinosaur pajamas put on. Matty headed to his room to get his favorite blanket and his book to read to Mike.

"Gracie, any idea what caused that bruise on his arm? I don't think anything is broken but it is causing him some pain."

"No, he won't tell me. I was hoping he would tell you. He was playing on the jungle gym at school and that is what caused the skinned knees. He plays pretty rough so maybe that is what happened?"

"Mmm-no. If it was just that he would tell us. There is a story to that bruise."

"You don't think Hannah would…?"

"I would hope not but I am not going to say for sure. She better hope that's not the case. I am taking a backseat the next day or so, but I assure you, I will be taking control of her. I want to see how she acts."

Grace just nodded. Her bringing Hannah up confirmed his suspicions. Between Matty not wanting to talk about what happened and Grace saying that, it made him wonder. Matty came out with a dark blue blanket trailing behind him and his book in his arms. Mike picked the little boy up and sit down on the couch, with Matty on his lap. The blanket was wrapped around the little boy and Mike just cuddled him to him. Matty was a very good reader, only stumbling on a few words. It was impressive and spoke well of Grace because she had been the one to teach him. She had finally come in and settled next to Mike, both of them were kind of cuddled up to him and it felt really good.

Matty fell asleep on his lap and Mike carried him to bed. He woke up slightly when Mike laid him down and Mike kissed him goodnight and assured him he would see him the next day. He stayed in the room with him until Matty fell back asleep. Mike had rubbed his back just like he had always done with his other three kids. It made him miss Lucas and all the time he had lost with his girls. Things would have been different. He would fix things with Hannah and would make life a little easier for Grace.

He sit down next to her and noticed she was looking at some paperwork. It looked like a schedule for college classes. He wrapped an arm around her and kissed the top of her head. He hated that his day was coming to the end with them. He wanted to just pack them all up and head them to the farm. But he didn't have beds or dishes or anything.

"College classes?"

"Just night school. Maggie and Alec want me to take classes but I didn't want to with Matty being so young. Not sure I can trust Hannah with him right now, plus I would have to quit waitressing and that pays for a lot of just incidentals. They offer financial aid but I don't want to be in that much debt."

"If all that wasn't a problem, what would you want to do? You used to want to be a nurse."

"Maybe a teacher? I really loved helping Matty learn to read. I don't want to be a nurse now. It doesn't matter because it's not like it's something I could do anyway."

"Don't be so sure of that. You've done a lot completely on your own, and I am here now. We'll figure something out. Listen, tomorrow, I need some help. I don't have any furniture and I want to have the house set up before you guys come out. Want you to feel you have a space. I know you may not want to move out there but I do want Hannah and Matty out there with me at some point. I also want you to have a bedroom set up out there. There is plenty of room, just no furniture. I have some fixing up to do and so I need help picking out paint and such. This place looks great and I wondered if you would help me? I was thinking of going to Springfield tomorrow to pick the stuff out."

"I could do that. Matty has afterschool care tomorrow and I can see if Maggie would pick him up if we run late. Hannah has detention until six so we have until then. You don't have to spend that kind of money on us though."

"Need to set the house up anyway. I would be spending it regardless. We might also look for you a car. Be thinking about what you want. If we run short of time, we will go up the next day. I told Matty that I wanted him to come stay Friday night so I want to at least have his room set up. As far as Hannah's, not sure she will want to stay with me. Just have to see."

"I'll talk to her. You headed out?"

"Yea, I'm gonna look in at Matty and at least say good night to Hannah. I will be back before they go to school. Will help you with that whole routine."

Mike got up and checked on Matty. The little guy had kicked his way out of his blanket and so Mike readjusted everything and gave him another kiss. He really wanted to not spend another night away from his kids but he couldn't uproot them either. He had been really worried that he would trouble connecting with Matty but it was easy. Hannah was the one that would give him problems, and it made him sad because they had always had a good bond.

He knocked on Hannah's door and walked in. Hannah was lying on her bed, looking at her phone. No homework anywhere around. There were clothes all over the floor and Mike could smell marijuana. Hannah's pupils were dilated. As hard as it was, he choose to not say anything about it. It made him wonder where she had gotten it at. He would be having a private meeting with Alec Smith that week.

"Hannah, I am headed out for the night. I just wanted to come in and tell you goodnight and I love you. I will be back in the morning before school. I do want to see you in something a bit more appropriate than that skirt. I can handle the boots but the shirt and skirt showed just a bit too much. Please behave for your sister. Okay?"

Hannah just shook her head at him, but he still bent down and kissed her on the top of the head and told her that he loved her again. At least she wasn't combative but the weed was probably to blame for that. She was pretty mellow. It made his heart hurt. Coming unhinged at her would be easy, but it would not get him anywhere. He headed back out into the living room and Grace was lying on the couch, like she was about to fall asleep.

"I'm heading out. If you need anything, call. I'll lock up. I love you sweetie and I am so proud of you. Night."

"G'night Daddy. I love you too. Sorry things are such a mess with Hannah. I'll see you in the morning."

Mike bent over and kissed her on the forehead and headed out, triple checking the locks. He hated himself for leaving them. Grace was overwhelmed, Hannah was high and Matty was just, Matty. He had left his cellphone in his truck because he wanted to concentrate on his kids and there were several missed calls from Tom, Sasha and Jeter. The voicemails were all concerned sounding. He decided to just call Tom, because he would call everyone else.

"Hey, you called?"

"Yea, several people did. We were going to call local law enforcement to go check on you. Thought you might have done something stupid."

"No. Just left my phone in my truck. Had something I needed to concentrate on."

"Is everything okay?"

"Yes and no. I found the kids. Physically they're fine but there are a ton of issues."

"You found them? How? The baby?"  
"His name is Matthew, or Matty. He's in kindergarten and an absolute joy. Grace has raised him from the time he was born, Hannah too. She has a seventh grade education but managed to get a GED and has worked her tail off. She is a dispatcher and records manager at the sheriff's department. That's where I found her. She has waitressed since she was fourteen. Lied about her age to keep them out of foster care. She is worried about ball fees for her brother, the starter going out of her car, all kinds of adult stuff that I should have been taking care of. I'm taking her tomorrow to get her a new car and some stuff she needs. As far as Hannah is concerned, she is angry, sullen, failing in school, turning into a raging alcoholic and apparently likes marijuana. How was your day?"

"Wow, Mike. I am thrilled that the kids are alive. Just focus in on that. None of what you have told me is not fixable. Just a piece of advice, if you want to help Hannah, help yourself first. Get rid of your 'sleep aide.' If you catch my drift? Do you need anything? Can I help?"

"Already planning on that stuff going down the drain. I knew I had an issue this morning when I started craving it at nine am. It was before I found Grace and I honestly haven't thought about it all day. I didn't realize that I wasn't getting through the day without it. Never had a problem on deployment but it was definitely a crutch when I was home. I need to be clearheaded to deal with this stuff. As far as help, thanks but I don't think there is anything anyone can do. But I do appreciate the offer. Can you let everyone know that I didn't blow my head off? I am just pulling up to the house and want to go in and get rid of that stuff before I am even tempted."

"Yea, I'll call 'em. I will just let them know that the kids have been found, no details. Just remember, it's all fixable and focus on the fact that they are alive and healthy, not all the other crap. Go get rid of that stuff, and call if you need anything at all."

"Okay, night. Thanks."

Mike walked in to the house with the groceries that he didn't "leave" at Grace's. He immediately zeroed in on the whiskey bottle sitting on the counter and his mouth started watering. Instead of pouring himself a glass he found a bottle of the lemonade that hadn't been drank. It wasn't that appetizing but it was better than the whiskey. Tom was right, he couldn't help his kids if he was drunk, and with a gulp of the lemonade, he dumped every ounce of the whiskey into the sink and tossed the bottles away. He did allow himself a cigar, just couldn't quite give them up. He sunk down on the couch, and almost immediately fell asleep, after setting his alarm for six am. He wondered what his dreams would be like that night.


	7. Chapter 7

**Five Years Later**

Chapter 7

It was a weird sleep. Not bad and not good. At least there were no nightmares. Mike woke up before his alarm and felt shaky. He realized that it was from not having any whiskey the day before and so he focused on what he needed to do that day. After showering and shaving, Mike headed into town. Grace had mentioned that the sheriff always ate breakfast at his wife's restaurant early in the morning. He wanted to catch him and talk to him about Hannah. When he pulled in the sheriff's patrol car was sitting in the parking lot and fortunately the morning rush hadn't started yet. The living room light in Grace's apartment was on but he would wait to go up.

Maggie greeted him and handed him a cup of coffee. He didn't want any breakfast just yet. She was getting stuff ready for her dad and didn't pay them much mind.

"Morning Admiral Slattery."

"Morning, and it's just Mike now. All that is behind me. I needed to talk to you before I went upstairs and it is a legal issue."

"Let me guess, Hannah?"

"Yep, I was a cop years ago. Homicide in Chicago. So I saw and smelled a lot of drugs. Last night when I went into her room to tell her good night, it smelled like marijuana, pupils were dilated, and she was a whole lot more mellow then what she had been all night. I didn't make a deal out of it, pretended I didn't notice it and I didn't say anything to Grace because she would have come uncorked. I obviously don't want Hannah smoking marijuana, and Matty alluded that she had been sneaking out pretty much every weekend and would come home really late, almost before Grace went into work, and she would talk funny and had trouble walking. Grace obviously doesn't know about that either."

"Well there have been some rumors about the kids sneaking off and partying on the weekends. We just haven't figured out where. As far as the weed, I suspect I know where it's coming from and will pinch the dealer. I will let you deal with Hannah however you see fit unless she is caught at one of the parties. Then I'll call you and not Grace. As much as I hate to say it, that might be the best thing to happen."

"Yea, probably so. Just hate it, but I don't want it to go any further than the drinking and marijuana. That's bad enough but it could be a gateway and that is what I don't want. I want something better for her. She used to be such a happy-go-lucky kid. I know what happened, but I just wish I could have been here to stop it."

"Not to offer you parenting advice, but she is still the same kid. Just don't forget to love on her. I know it's easy right now with Grace and Matty but Hannah needs the attention to. Negative attention will only escalate the behavior, but positive attention may help her to realize that there is a better way. Not sure if that makes sense or not. She definitely needs to realize there are consequences for her behavior but if she sees you lavishing Grace and Matty with love and attention, and all she gets is lectures, it might make things worse. Again, if I'm overstepping my bounds…"

"You're not. It makes sense. Just not sure how to do it."

"You'll figure it out."

Mike thoroughly enjoyed visiting with the man. It would be easy to resent Alec and Maggie because they got to spend the time with his kids that Mike had lost but Mike was just thankful for all that they had done. He knew that Grace didn't allow for much, but for them to do what they did do meant the world to him. He explained what his plans were for that day and that hopefully he would be getting Grace a new car by the end of the day. They were genuinely excited for her and Alec told him he could get more time off for her if necessary.

At seven he headed upstairs to get a grasp on Grace's morning routine. He still wasn't feeling well but was putting one foot in front of the other. Hannah answered the door and even gave him a small smile. She was wearing jeans and a flannel shirt with a tank top under it and looked much better. Hair was pulled up and she looked almost like a typical fourteen year old.

"Morning. Did you sleep? Clothes are much better."

"Yea. Thanks. Grace is trying to get Matty woke up. Have you ate? I have some of my smoothie left. It has kale, pineapples and…"

"Sure."

Hannah had headed into the kitchen to get the smoothie into a glass. Mike knew he would regret it, but maybe the antioxidants would help him. He was just glad to see her in a better frame of mind. When she brought him the glass, he took a sip and it actually was not horrible. She seemed so pleased that he liked it and even gave him a small hug. He knew the bottom would fall out but it felt good for the moment.

"So you're sister and I are going to Springfield to get stuff for my house. I am wanting you guys to have a space of your own out there. Anything in particular you want for your room?"

"Can I show you a picture?"

"Of course."

She showed him a picture of a bedroom in a home decorating magazine. It had cream walls, white bedroom furniture, a dark purple bedspread and light purple curtains and rugs. It was a nice enough room, little feminine for his taste but not horrible.

"Okay, let me take the picture with me so I remember. It may not be exactly the same but it will be close. But if I get this stuff for you, I want you to keep it a bit cleaner than what your room was like last night, and I know what I was smelling in there, and I don't want to EVER smell it again? Clear?"

Hannah looked down at her feet and Mike reached over and lifted her chin up. She seemed nervous but nodded at him. He pulled her into a massive bear hug and held her for a couple minutes. He could hear Matty grumbling at Grace and knew he needed to help her but it felt good to just have a moment with her. He hoped he had made it clear to her that he didn't approve of the marijuana. He knew there were still issues but it might have been an icebreaker. She finally pulled away from him to finish getting ready for school and he headed into Matty's room.

Matty's hair was going in a thousand different directions, he had his pants on but no socks or shirt and he was fussing because he didn't want to wear a striped shirt. Grace still had her pajamas on and while patient, was struggling.

"Go get ready. I'll get him moving. Morning by the way."

"Yeah, morning. Do you know if there is coffee made?"

"No. Hannah gave me some of her smoothie so I assume not. Go on, I got him."

Grace obviously needed coffee to function. He made a note to bring her a cup from the restaurant the next morning. It was kind of funny. He was beginning to wonder if he needed to slip some to his five year old. Mike finally got him into a shirt that had baseballs on it since he didn't want stripes. Socks were easy and Matty showed him how he could tie his shoes. Just had to get teeth and hair brushed. Matty was still groggy and a little grumpy.

"Why do I have to brush my hair for school?

"Because you'll look funny if you don't. If you want we can get it cut real short and you won't have to brush it?"

"Really, is there a way we can do something so I don't have to brush my teeth too?"

"No, you have to brush your teeth in the morning and at night. Let's get it done so the girls can have the bathroom and I'll get you something to eat."

The rest of the morning went smoother. Matty ate all of his breakfast and untied and tied his shoes about a dozen times before they left for school. Hannah cleaned up the kitchen while Grace got ready and Mike took them both to school while she finished up. It was a routine he could get used to.

On his way back from school he stopped by the restaurant to get Grace the coffee she so desperately needed. Thankfully Maggie knew how she fixed it. He told her about the shift in Hannah's attitude and she warned him it wouldn't last. Grace met him on the stairs and hugged him when she realized the cup of coffee was for her. He had his own in hand. He was still feeling kind of sketchy.

"You okay, Daddy? You look pale?"

"Yeah, fine. It's no biggie."

"You seem…shaky?"

"Promise I'm fine. It'll pass. Hannah showed me a picture of how she wants her room. Matty is easy, but what about yours?"

"I'm not picky. Whatever is cheapest. I am really worried about you…"

"Gracie, I'm fine. I swear. I just want to enjoy my day with you. Let me be dad for the day, okay?"

"Okay, let's go."

Mike knew that she was going to watch him all day, but he was not about to admit to her that he was having withdrawals from alcohol. She didn't need to know. It was bad enough that Tom knew. He didn't need his daughter "parenting" him. He needed to be the parent. He just didn't realize how much of a hold that the whiskey had on him. He had stopped at a gas station to fill up the truck and grabbed a bottle of water. Grace looked at him really suspiciously when he guzzled it down.

"You know we can do this another day."

"Nah, need to get it done, but we may wait on your car until tomorrow. Furniture is going to be a big endeavor. I need to get living and dining room stuff too."

Grace could tell there was something really wrong with her dad. He was pale, shaky, seemed sweaty, and was thirsty. She hated to think it, but she had seen alcoholics go through the same things when they were withdrawing at the jail. Her dad obviously didn't feel comfortable telling her what was really wrong but it worried her. She knew that when someone went through alcohol withdrawals, it could affect their heart and she absolutely didn't want that to happen to her dad. She had only just got her dad back; she didn't want to lose him all over again.

The first stop was the furniture store, and thankfully they found everything that Mike needed in one place. The house would be fully equipped. They went to a home décor place and found all the stuff they would need including the bedspread, curtains and rugs that were similar to Hannah's pictures. It took some doing but Grace finally picked out a pretty floral bedspread for herself. Matty's room was easy to decorate. Kitchen items were also gotten. Grace told Mike that she would pick out one of her paintings for him which made him happy. They agreed it was past lunch times and since they had gotten through everything they needed to, they would at least look at cars for Grace. She had made it clear that the actual purchase could happen later in the week. She didn't tell Mike that she didn't want him driving home alone.

The place they picked for lunch had a bar but Mike ordered iced tea. He had only gotten paler throughout the day and was downright fidgety in the restaurant. It confirmed Grace's suspicions but she decided she was going to "tempt" him and see what his attitude was like.

"You know they have a bar here and I can drive us home. If you want a beer or something…"

"NO!"

Mike didn't mean to but Grace flinched at his raised voice. She excused herself to go to the bathroom, hoping it would give him a chance to gather himself. It had hurt just a bit. She suspected that her dad had an issue but was obviously trying to get a grip on it. She sat back down across from him but not before squeezing his shoulder as she walked by him. She didn't judge him for it. She figured things hadn't been easy for him.

"Listen, I'm sorry. I didn't mean for it to come out like that. Just have some stuff going on and I don't need to be drinking. And I am just having an off day. I'm okay. If you're done eating, I've paid the check. Let's go look at some cars."

On the way out, Mike seemed really unsteady and so Grace put her arm around him almost like a side hug and walked with him. He finally just handed her the truck key and leaned back in his seat while she drove. He was insistent that she drive through a couple car lots and look to see if there was something that she liked but she just used the excuse that she wanted to get back home. She had seen a couple she liked and made note of them but headed on back to her apartment. She didn't know the way to his farm so she would take him home with her and put her in Hannah's room so Matty didn't see him like this.

He slept most of the way back only waking when she shook his arm. They were back at her apartment and there was no way she could get him up the stairs. She would get him settled and let Maggie know she could pick up the kids. Mike fell asleep almost as soon as he hit Hannah's bed and Grace covered him up with a blanket and kissed him on the forehead. He was shivering despite being fully clothed and with a blanket over him. She put a note on the nightstand that she would either be downstairs or picking Matty up and to stay put.

She didn't tell Maggie the full story, just that her dad wasn't feeling well and that she was going to pick Matty up from school. He had been in his afterschool care for a bit and would be ready to come home. She would explain to him that Daddy was sick and sleeping. She wasn't quite sure what she would tell Hannah.

Mike woke up and realized that he was in Hannah's bedroom. He read the note and realized that Grace had ended up parenting him. He felt horribly because he had planned on taking her shopping for some clothes and he remembered driving through the car dealership parking lots, but had no idea rather she had seen anything she liked. They were supposed to deliver all the furniture at nine am the next day and Mike had planned on staying there and painting. He just hoped he felt better. It would be miserable if he didn't. Remembering that Hannah's smoothie had actually helped him he decided to make another one to see if it had the same result. He was not quite so shaky but still felt weak.

Grace had gently explained to Matty that their daddy didn't feel good and he needed to be quiet when they got to the apartment. They were both surprised to find him up moving around, trying to figure out the blender. Matty immediately ran up and gave Mike a hug and Grace finished making his smoothie while Mike landed on the couch with Matty. Thankfully Matty wasn't very talkative and Mike and he ended up falling back asleep on there. It was really kind of a sweet picture. Matty had ended up on Mike's chest with his arms wrapped around him. Grace could only hope that it was bringing Mike some comfort.


	8. Chapter 8

**Five Years Later**

Chapter 8

When Grace got to the school to pick Hannah up the principal called her into his office and asked if their dad was present. Grace told him that their dad was with Matty and was not feeling well. It made her wonder what Hannah had done now.

"I am not sure what has changed in the last twenty four hours but it's like Hannah is a different kid. She was respectful all day. She completed all her work and asked the teachers how to get her grades back on track. She still has to complete her detention but did your dad do something or say something?"

"That's great. I don't know what he said or did. I do know they talked a little this morning. Hopefully she keeps it up."

Hannah was almost like her old stuff, like she had been before the pandemic. Grace told her that their dad was not feeling well and was back at the apartment with Matty and that they had gotten the bedroom stuff she requested. The furniture was not an exact match to the one in the picture but close enough. Grace praised her for what the principal had said and Hannah was actually smiling.

Once they got back to the apartment, Mike and Matty had woke up and Mike was working on finishing the supper that Grace had started. He still looked a bit pale but seemed okay otherwise. Grace told him quietly about what the principal had said and she could tell it made him happy. Conversation was rather light over dinner. Grace told him about the cars that she had seen and liked, and Hannah asked about getting a Ford Mustang. Both Mike and Grace were against a sports car. Mike finally told her that if she kept up at the rate she had been at today then he would consider it when she turned sixteen but Grace was different and needed a normal "granny" car as Hannah had so bluntly put it. They told both kids about what their bedrooms would be like at their dad's house.

After supper, Mike gave Matty his bath and listened to him read. He tucked him into bed and stayed with him until he fell asleep. He loved the routine with Matty but it did make him miss Lucas a lot which made him crave the liquor. Hannah had been working on her schoolwork since supper was finished. When Mike walked in to her room, it was spotlessly clean. It had probably been before when he slept on her bed but didn't notice. He sit down next to her with some paint chips that they had picked up when he and Grace were out. He wanted her to feel like she had some say in her room at his house.

"So I don't know if you saw your bedroom stuff in my truck but I figured that I would give you some option on the paint. The bedroom I have in mind for you has a single window so you probably want something kind of bright. The picture you showed me, the walls were painted a cream color and woodwork was white. Do you want the same? Here are some paint chips."

"Yea. Sounds good. Whatever you pick out is fine. This math is really hard and Grace said she never got this far. Did you?"

Mike looked at the book. It was basic algebra. He did fortunately understand it and so he set the paint chips aside and kicked his shoes off so he could sit on the bed. He was tired and wanted to go get the paint so he could start that process but he also needed the time with Hannah and she needed help with her schoolwork. He spent the next two hours going over what she knew and building from there. She was bright but hadn't been applying herself. She was also failing science, history, geography and English so Mike would be spending a great deal of time getting her caught up. Even though Grace had her GED, some of it was beyond her since she only had a seventh grade education. She would also need some help before she started college. Hannah finally got too sleepy to work and Mike wished her a good night and gave her a kiss after telling her that he loved her and was proud of the steps she was taking.

Grace was sound asleep when he came into the living room and so he wrote a note and put it on the fridge so she would see it in the morning. He still felt bad about her having to "parent" him but she seemed okay. He checked on Matty and looked back in on Hannah who was already snoring. He looked back over at the note he wrote and decided to rewrite it.

" _Gracie,_

 _You have no idea how proud I am of you. I am sorry you had to deal with what you did today. It was not fair to you and I promise that I will make up for it. I have a lot of stuff to make up for._

 _I will come in to take the kids to school and may take you out to my house so you can help with decorating. If you want to? Text me when you wake up and I promise I will show up with coffee this time. Maggie said about a half a pound of sugar per cup?_

 _I love you so much,_

 _Daddy"_

He tucked the blanket tighter around Grace and headed out the door, he could hear both Hannah and Matty snoring and he triple checked the lock. The local store was open twenty four hours and had a paint department and a liquor aisle. He was still craving whiskey but had three very good reasons not to go near it. He got all the paint he needed. The cream color for Hannah, a pink for Grace and a blue for Matty. His room would be brown and the living room would be a beige. He would figure out the dining room and kitchen later. He needed to get some groceries especially if the kids came out. Only issue was that it was too close to liquor aisle. He knew it was late but he needed something to distract him so he decided to call Tom.

"Kinda late?"

"Yea, sorry. Just needed someone to talk to. Bad day."

"You were bound to have one."

"Yea, I was shaky all day. Gracie had to drive me back to her apartment and help me to bed."

"Least she was there. Sounds like you're in a store. Am I your distraction?"

"Yea I am grocery shopping and the groceries are close to the alcohol and I don't need to go through that aisle. You're holding me accountable that I don't."

"Okay. So how are Hannah and Matty?"

"Hannah had a change of heart. I just spent the last two hours working on algebra with her. Which reminds me, I need to get a world map. She is flunking geography too among many other things. At least she is applying herself now. Course she has a goal she is working for."

"Which is what?"

"I promised her that I would buy her a Ford Mustang when she turned sixteen."

"Little extreme?"

"If she pulls this off, then it'll be deserved. She has a long road and she hasn't won any trust back yet."

"Ok and Matty?"

"He's fine. Typical five year old. Wouldn't be so bad but he reminds me of Lucas. He's a good kid and has been easy to bond with but it hurts too."

"Just have to remember he's Matty, not Lucas. He's already at a disadvantage because Christine died having him, he has been raised to this point by his teenage sister and he is only getting to know you now. Now it's time for him to have some advantages. You there, full time. You sober. You loving him for him. Mike, I know you're capable of all that. As he grows up he is going to realize that his birth brought his mother's death on, how much Grace had to give up and how much Hannah was affected. He is going to have to have you there, not blaming him, loving him because when all that hits, it'll hit hard and it won't be something Hannah or Grace can help with. And I think it'll be sooner rather than later."

"You're being very profound tonight."

"I have my moments."

"Yea, I know the Christine question is going to come up. I hate it but he is going to figure it out. He's a sweet kid and doesn't deserve it but I can't lie to him. From what Grace has told me she hemorrhaged shortly after he was born. Christine never held him."

"That's horrible. You about done?"

"Yep, walking up to the cash register now. Thanks for listening. Sorry I kept you awake."

"Call anytime. I'll lose sleep to keep you out of that bottle."

"Thanks."

Mike made his purchases and headed home. He planned on turning on the radio and painting. He had bought sweet tea, lemonade, bottled water, and pop, pretty much any liquid other than whiskey or beer. He had also bought more kid friendly foods, with Matty in mind. He would be up all night, going in about seven to help Grace get the kids moving and then back to the house for the furniture delivery. He would be exhausted by the time it was over but his kids were worth it. The shakes were slowly getting better.

Once at home he turned on some music and began painting. It was a big job for one person but he needed the work. He put the first coat on in the living room, and then went from one bedroom to the next. Once done with the bedrooms, he started the process over again only for the second coat. The woodwork was all painted white so he cleaned it and painted a fresh coat on it. He had purposely put Hannah in the bedroom closest to his. She would have to walk by his bedroom to get outside and he was a light sleeper. Her one window was about ten feet from the ground and he nailed the window shut just in case. She had done well that day but it was only one day. It would take a lot to earn the trust back.

He was finally satisfied with everything about three am and laid down on the couch. He went to sleep almost immediately. His alarm was set at six to give him time to shower and shave before he headed to Grace's. He would be thrilled when he at least got Hannah and Matty moved out with him. He would love to have Grace there too but she had had independence so long and he wanted her to enjoy having time to herself. His dreams that night were about them living there with him. Movie nights, fishing days with Matty, working on homework with both kids.


	9. Chapter 9

**Five Years Later**

Chapter 9

It was the soundest that Mike had slept in at least five years. The dreams he did have were happy ones and he woke up feeling good. The shakiness was gone and he was happy. He still missed Lucas and Christine but he was at peace. He just had to help his kids. That was his sole purpose. The Navy didn't need him anymore and while there would always be wars to fight and more crisis, his days of fighting those wars and solving the issues were basically done. He had an adult daughter that he had to help, and two younger children to raise.

He was already headed to town when Grace texted him and so he just called her and told her that he was on his way. He could tell something was off and hoped it wasn't Hannah. He grabbed two cups of coffee at Maggie's and exchanged pleasantries with both Maggie and Alec. Hannah opened the door and seemed no different than the day before. Giving him a hug and kiss as soon as he sit the coffee down. He could hear Matty grumbling at Grace and Grace grumbling right back. He grabbed her cup of coffee and headed into the bedroom.

"Alright, I'll take Matty duty from here out. Go get ready Gracie."

Grace motioned him through the door though before he could start with Matty. She looked sad and Matty looked agitated about something. She generally did so well with him, it was disconcerting.

"You should probably know, he started questioning a lot about Mom. Apparently a classmate was telling about someone who died during the Red Flu. It's got Matty questioning how Mom died and I don't know what to tell him. Should I lie?"

"No, let me handle it. If we lie to him now, he'll figure it out later. We can handle it gently but truthfully. He deserves that. I know you were there and you witnessed everything but I need you to take a backseat on this one. He needs to know that I, especially, don't blame him for your mom dying. Gracie, I know it's hard for you to sit back but I need to pull 'dad duty' on this one. You've done a phenomenal job and I am beyond proud of you and grateful for all that you've done. He may come to you later with questions on specifics but I will try and answer what I can so he doesn't. Is there any sort of medical report or autopsy?"

"Yes, I keep it at my office so neither of them looked at it. I don't understand most of it. Is it wrong that I wanted to lie to him?"

"No. But it won't help him. Once we get the kids off to school, we will run by and get that report. I am going to call a friend to try and figure out what I don't know and then I'll talk to Matty. Let me take care of getting him going this morning and I will deflect any questions he might have until I have a concrete answer, okay?"

"Yeah, okay. Are you sure that you can handle this? I know yesterday wasn't just simply the flu. And I also know you won't admit to me what it actually was. I don't want you slipping back if this stuff with Matty gets to you."

"I'll be fine. Thank you for the concern. I love you."

"Love you too."

Mike gave her a hug and headed back into Matty's room. He was ready for questions but the little boy had flopped back over on his bed and went back to sleep. It was kind of funny. He had his pants on but no shirt and one sock on. His hair was flying in every direction and he needed to get moving. Mike had figured out already that mornings with Matty would be interesting.

"Alright, Matty, time to wake up."

"Don't wanna."

"C'mon, you love school. Gotta get ready. Besides me and Grace are going to go and get your room ready for you back at my house while you're at school. I can't wait for you to see it. We got you a blanket that has baseballs, soccer balls, footballs and basketballs on it. Think you'll like that?"

"Yea, what color is my room gonna be? I can't have paint here because of the bricks."

"I painted it last night, it's light blue."

Matty was shaking with excitement. What he didn't realize was the entire time he had been talking to Mike, he was letting Mike dress him. He only realized it when Mike put his shoes on and told him to tie them. He did ask Mike to get his hair cut so that he didn't have to brush it every day. After brushing his teeth and trying to get his hair calmed down he was ready for the day. Mike sit him down for breakfast while Grace and Hannah were getting ready. Grace was wearing a t-shirt and jeans since she was helping Mike and Hannah had on a long sweater and leggings with boots. While Mike hated her wearing make up at least it wasn't the dark gothic sort she had worn two days before.

Matty never brought up his mom and so Mike let it be. Grace had sucked down her coffee already and was on her second cup. They drove both kids to school and gave hugs and kisses. Mike had to meet with the principal and counselor to see exactly what Hannah was behind on and so he walked in with her while Grace took Matty to school. Hannah would have after school detention for the fight she had been in. When Mike asked her what the fight had been about, he figured it would be about a boy but was shocked at her answer.

"There is the girl, Carly. She picks on the special ed kids. She's mean. She tried to put ex-lax in this kid, Josh's milk. He has Down Syndrome or something but he is really sweet. Anyway, I caught her and gave him mine so he wouldn't drink the ex-lax. I punched her. Bloodied her nose. She wouldn't tell the teacher what she had done and I didn't want Josh to be embarrassed so…"

"Okay, I am not going to tell you that punching her was right but your reasons were good. Why didn't you give him your milk and tell the teachers what she was trying to do?"

"She is a school board member's daughter. They wouldn't have believed it."

Mike nodded at her. He wasn't thrilled with the fight but was proud of her for taking a stand and defending someone who needed defending. The meeting went well. Her teachers were all there and the history teacher told him that if he would come in and speak to the class about his time on the Nathan James and Hannah wrote a report, she would be given extra credit. He didn't like talking about his time after the Pandemic but if it helped Hannah it might be worth it. He would gear it more towards careers in the Navy and told the teacher that much. She would have to work hard but she might be able to end the semester with decent grades, so that she wouldn't be held back. He gave her a hug and kiss and headed out to his truck.

He and Grace ran by her office and she went and got her check and the report on Christine. He wasn't ready to read it. He was at peace with Christine dying, he had accepted it and now he needed to help his kids with it. He would always love Christine and would always miss her. She had given him four beautiful children and the best years of his life. He owed it to her to help their children. Grace was angry at her mom for giving up, Hannah couldn't let her go, and Matty was going to be a mess when he figured everything out.

He took Grace by her bank to deposit her check into the bank. He had snuck a look at the slip of paper that had been given and noticed her balance would cover her upcoming car payment and just that. The car dealer had already called twice that morning asking when the payment was going to be in his hand. It wasn't due until Friday and it was only Wednesday but he knew that she got paid and had told her he would be putting an extra fee on it for waiting. He noticed the tears in her eyes and if it wasn't for having to meet the furniture guys he would have driven directly to the car lot to deal with it.

She pretty well shut down and wasn't talking. They got back to the farm about the same time the furniture movers were pulling in. She stayed inside and showed them where to put the furniture and Mike worked on putting beds together. After they left she went to work putting the rooms together with all the stuff that they had bought the day before. There were still items that Mike needed and she started a list. The house was shaping up nicely and she told him that she planned on painting a picture specifically for his living room and bedroom. He had no idea what she was planning but was thrilled. They finished up about noon and she asked to be taken back to town so that she could deal with the car issues.

"Grace, I'll take you back to town but you aren't dealing with it on your own. I know you've done a lot on your own but he is going to keep up. We are taking the car back and I will give him this month's payment but he is not getting another dime out of you. We will go tomorrow and get you a new car. Whatever you want. Don't tell me it's too much. I owe you this. You've been saddled with my responsibilities for the past five years. It's time for some payback. I love you, I am proud of you, and I am ashamed of how much you've given up. The only way I know to fix that is to help you and make things easier for you. This car is one of the ways I can make that happen. Please let me."

"Daddy, I wasn't saddled with your responsibilities. It is just what family does. I was the oldest so it just made sense that I quit school, go to work, and raise Hannah and Matty. You have nothing to be ashamed for. Once you found us, you've been here helping. If you had made the choice to walk away you would have something to be ashamed for. But you're here. You've stopped drinking. Nothing to be ashamed of. I don't know what to say about the car. I hate the idea of you spending so much money but I do know that you feel it's your responsibility so I have a suggestion. You help me get rid of my current car, and deal with the guy that sold it to me, we go and find me a new car and you help me with getting the loan and getting a smaller payment. I will pay that. With you here, I know that I won't have to worry so much about bills and stuff with Hannah and Matty. So I can cover a cheaper payment better. That enough of a compromise?"

"It'll work. But only on the condition that you come to me if you start getting in over your head? You'll have rent and utilities unless you move out here which I want, but I also know you've had your independence for a long time and may not want to. I will respect that. Once we get Hannah and Matty out here I do want you to go to waitressing part time and try and take some night classes. It is not what I envisioned for you five years ago but it is something you can achieve. I would happily send you to any college you would want to go to and help you but I don't think you would be happy with that. I couldn't be prouder of you. But I want something more for you. I know you love your job at the sheriff's office and I am fine with you working there but it's not the end of the road for you. I don't know if it's teaching, nursing or something else but you deserve a career and not just a job. You can achieve anything you set your mind too, you've already done so much with so little. But with help, the sky is the limit. And I want that for you. I want it for Hannah and Matty too, but I really want it for you."

Grace gave him a massive bear hug. It felt good to just hold her. Part of him wanted to treat her like the fourteen year old he had left behind but he couldn't do that. She was nineteen but had already been through so much more than most nineteen year olds. As much as he would like to treat her like his little girl, it wasn't right. She was an adult who had already "adulted" and "parented" for years. She deserved to be treated as such. She would always be his baby girl but she also was a full grown adult who had accomplished so much without him there.

They finally pulled apart and headed into town. The plan was that he would drive her car to the dealership, she'd follow and he would do the talking. The man would get that month's payment and the car back. If there were any legal ramifications he would be given Mike's attorney's phone number. The attorney had already been consulted and told Mike he was well within the legal perimeters concerning the car. The legal system had been relaxed a lot but it wouldn't be prudent for the dealer to attempt to sue Grace because she was a highly respected member of the law enforcement family in that community. He wouldn't get far.


	10. Chapter 10

**Five Years Later**

Chapter 10

The car dealer was nothing short of an idiot. Mike didn't like using his rank but purposely introduced himself as Admiral Slattery. He had also worn his Nathan James ball cap. The man was intimidated and thankfully agreed to take the car back and didn't require a payment for that month. Once he realized that Grace had someone in her life that would protect her, it was not worth him fighting to get money out of her.

By the time it was all said and done, Grace insisted on taking Mike out for lunch. He knew that she felt like she should and so he agreed. Lunch was an enjoyable experience and they went over the college class schedule. She wasn't completely sold on being a teacher and wanted to take some criminal justice classes and voiced going to police academy. Mike was not thrilled with that idea but it really wasn't a huge surprise. He had been a cop when she was young and she had essentially been taken in by a cop and had worked around them for a year. She had also volunteered some at the sheriff's department before she could legally work there. Her being a cop wouldn't be shocking. She was barely five foot tall and probably didn't weigh a hundred pounds. If being a cop was her end goal then Mike would make sure she knew how to defend herself and could shoot. He would be proud of her regardless.

Grace had laundry to do that afternoon and so Mike promised to pick Matty up after school and show him around the farm, than come back in and get Hannah. They would all eat supper together and then just go from there. While Grace was doing the laundry, Mike sit down and read the medical report on Christine's death and Matty's birth. It was hard but he didn't really need clarification on any of what had happened to her. She had bled to death. Typically they would have put her into a surgery and done a hysterectomy but she bled out too fast and they couldn't get her back. Matty was eight pounds and ten ounces and twenty-two inches long. There was a newborn picture of him attached and his medical records at birth. They had kept him long enough to circumcise him and then released him to Grace. The doctor truly believed that she was eighteen. Reading it made him sad but he also knew it was a necessary thing. Grace still felt that Christine had given up and maybe she had. She was angry at her mother and Mike hated it but he didn't know what Christine's frame of mind had been like before her death and Grace did. She wasn't willing to talk about it.

Matty was excited to go to the farm but seemed quiet. Mike had wanted to wait until he asked about what happened to his mom but decided it might be the right time. Before picking Matty up from school, he had stopped and got fishing supplies and so he would have the discussion over fishing that afternoon. Matty was thrilled with his room and couldn't wait to spend the night, even asking if he could that night. Mike would be thrilled to have him but he also wanted to leave it up to Grace. They finally went out to the pond about four. It didn't give Mike much time but it might also not be much of a conversation.

"So Gracie told me you were asking about your mom?"

"Yeah. One of my friends at school was telling me about his grandma that had died. Then the teacher told us a little bit about when so many people got sick. Is that what happened to my mom?"

"No. Your big brother died from the Red Flu, but not your mom."

"Did my mom die from cancer? That is what my friend's grandma had."

"No, Matty. And she didn't have an accident."

"How?"

Mike pulled him onto his lap and sit both fishing poles down. Matty had turned to where he could see his face and Mike could see the sadness in the little boy's eyes.

"Matty, when a woman has a baby, sometimes things happen. It's not always easy to understand why. A woman can bleed some when the baby is born and it's still okay but in your mom's case she bled too much having you. The doctors and nurses couldn't stop it. They tried really hard. She died a couple minutes after you were born. I wasn't there. I wish I had been but I wouldn't have been able to stop it. Your mommy had to go up to heaven and be with Lucas, your big brother. He needed her up there. She knew you would be okay. You had Gracie and Hannah and I would eventually show up. Matty, I don't want you to ever, ever think you caused her to die. She loved you very much and would be thrilled with you. She wouldn't want you to think that. Do you have any questions?"

"Are you mad at me for her dying?"

"Absolutely not. Not in the least. I know I only met you a couple days ago but I already love you very much. Anything else?"

"Are Grace and Hannah? She was their mommy too. They must miss her."

"You know, I'm not sure. But I do know one thing, they love you very much, especially Grace. She had to step up and take care of you and love you just like your mommy would have. And I personally think she did a really good job at it. As far as Hannah is concerned, I don't think she is. She is angrier at me for not being here. I do have a question for you and I need you to be honest with me. I won't get mad at you, I promise. Did Hannah cause that bruise on your arm?"

"No! She never hurt me. I promise. When I fell off the jungle gym and skinned my knees I hit my arm too but I didn't want to tell Grace because she would want to take me to the doctor and I didn't want a shot. The last time she took me there; they gave me a shot and did something called a blood test. It costed Grace money and I didn't want to go back. And then you got here and I just didn't want to go get a shot. But I promise Hannah didn't cause it."

"Okay that makes me feel a little better. I was worried. Do you have any more questions about your mom?"

"What was she like? And Lucas?"

"She was amazing. You look a lot like her. Your eyes and hair are the same color. She was an amazing mommy and I am sorry that you didn't get a chance to know her but she is watching you from heaven and she is so proud of you. She would have loved to go fishing with you. It was something me and her and Lucas did together. The girls never liked it much. But the three of us liked it. Lucas didn't like school as much as you, he liked dinosaurs better. He liked football and baseball too."

"You miss him?"

"Every single day. But I want you to know, you don't have to be like him. You just have to be you. I don't need you to be a replacement. I just need you. Lucas and your mommy are in my heart and they are in yours too. Anything else?"

"Just two things. Can I have my fishing pole back? And I love you!"

"I love you too."

They spent the next hour pretty quietly; Matty even caught a good sized fish. He was thrilled when Mike took a picture with his phone. Mike texted it to both the girls and Tom. He didn't know who Tom was but Mike explained to him that he was a really good friend and would be like an uncle to him. Matty immediately asked when they would meet him. Mike knew that he would have to get Tom and Sasha to the farm at some point.

After releasing the fish back, Mike and Matty headed to get Hannah and go to Grace's for supper. Matty hadn't said anything more about his mom and Mike actually was glad to be able to talk to him about her and Lucas. It was cathartic. Hannah was in a good mood but told Mike she needed help with her homework. He showed her a picture of her finished bedroom but told her they didn't have any pictures hung up or any décor stuff. Matty had his headphones on and wasn't listening.

"I know you and Grace are going shopping and that's fine but could you and me go sometime? Just me and you? It doesn't have to be to pick stuff out for my room. I just want to go with you and spend time with you. I know I've been really mean and you probably don't want to…"

"Hannah, I would love to spend time with you. I don't like some of the stuff you've done and there will be consequences but that doesn't mean that I don't love you and want to spend time with you. We can go Saturday. I'm sure Grace won't mind spending the day with Matty. Just think about what you want to do. I will tell you, I am okay what you've been wearing today and yesterday but your other clothes, the revealing Goth stuff, goes in the trash or give it away. I will buy you new stuff if you don't have it. That is a must. Otherwise, we will do whatever you want, provided it's legal."

"Okay. Do you remember when we used to go bowling?"

"Yep. Is that something you want to do?"

Hannah didn't need to even answer because she gave him a massive smile. They had pulled up to the apartment by then and Mike lifted Matty down and held his hand and threw the other arm around Hannah. Mike was concentrating on both the kids and didn't notice a guy walking up to them but he did feel Hannah tense up under his arm.

"Hannah, you and I need to talk now." The man had ahold of her arm and was gripping it tightly. Hannah was getting as close to Mike as she could and Matty was already hiding behind Mike.

"And you are?"  
"None of your damn business. This is between Hannah and me."

"Well she is my business and she is terrified of you." Mike had noticed Alec and Maggie come out of the restaurant and started walking up towards them. Something about Alec's body language had him worried and the man didn't see him coming at them. The man had dropped his hand off of Hannah's arm thankfully but she had ahold of Mike's shirt.

"Admiral Slattery, do you need some assistance with Daniel here? He's the one you and I spoke about."

"Yeah. Hannah and Matty go in with Ms. Maggie please. Sheriff and I are going to have a little conversation with Daniel here."

Both kids released their grip on Mike's hand and shirt and headed towards Maggie who ushered them into the restaurant. A deputy had also showed up and was standing next to Mike.

"So what's your business with a fourteen year old and why is she so scared of you? Not to mention the fact that my five year old is terrified of you too."

"She owes me money."

"For the marijuana that you've been trying to get her to sell at school?" Alec had come up beside Mike and had a grip on his forearm. The deputy was not holding Mike but was close enough too. He did have ahold of his tazer and seemed equally as nervous as the sheriff.

"That's none of your business."

"Oh but it is. You have been trying to get several young girls like Hannah to sell drugs for you at the school. It's not just marijuana but methamphetamines too. When you get them hooked and they can't afford their habits you prostitute them out. Only Hannah threw off your plan. She never got into the meth and smoked up the marijuana herself. And then she had a change of heart when her dad came to town and decided to apply herself at school, be a better kid, make him proud of her. Now you're here to collect money for the marijuana or you'll what? Rape her?"

"I'm not saying anything 'til I talk to my lawyer…"

"I haven't arrested you yet, you idiot!"

"You prostitute fourteen year olds out for drugs?" Mike felt sick to his stomach. It explained a lot where Hannah was concerned. He just wished she had told him what she needed. He could tell Daniel was a piece of work and he was shrinking away from the three of them and finally just turned around and headed to his car. Mike knew Alec didn't have enough to arrest Daniel for but he was obviously working a case. The deputy had gotten a call over the radio and left Alec and Mike standing on the sidewalk.

"Okay, I am going to move the two younger kids in with me. It's a bit sooner than I planned but it might be safer for Hannah. I don't think I can convince Grace to move though. I might be able to get her to stay with me for a couple days. If she doesn't, can your department keep an eye out for her? I had planned on moving them in anyway once they got a little more adjusted to me being here."

"Sounds like a plan. When we go in and get the kids, write down directions to your house so if something happens I can get guys out there quick. I have read your file and know that you are more than capable of protecting yourself and those kids but I just want to make sure."

Both men walked into the restaurant and Mike wrote his directions down. Hannah and Matty were sitting in a booth eating a plate of French fries. Mike could see the tears streaking Hannah's face and he planned on talking to her alone. Alec took Matty up to Grace and explained the situation to her. They would eat supper and Mike and Hannah would go for a ride. He could tell Hannah was nervous and scared and his heart broke for her.


	11. Chapter 11

**Five Years Later**

Chapter 11

Mike ended up just taking Hannah out to the farm. It was easier to talk to her. Alec had promised to stay close to the apartment in case Daniel showed up. Mike hated Grace and Matty being alone but couldn't help it. Hannah needed some time. He sit her down in the living room with a glass of pop and told her to tell him everything.

"Okay…but you won't like it and you may not love me very much after…"

"Hannah, I love you. It's not going to change I promise. Just talk."

"Me and a couple other girls would sneak out on Friday nights and go to these parties at Ash Creek. Daniel would supply all the beer and the weed. He wanted a couple girls to sell the weed and some other stuff at school. I did it because I thought maybe I could give Grace some money back to help her out. I also didn't like the idea of other kids getting hooked on that stuff. When you came in my room the other night, I hadn't actually smoked it…I mean, I was burning it but I didn't smoke it. Not sure if that makes any sense. Anyway, I went to school the next day and told Carly who is his 'manager' that I wasn't selling anymore and that I wouldn't come to anymore of the parties. She didn't like how I was dressed and then she put the ex-lax in Josh's milk. So I punched her. I just couldn't figure out how to come up with the money to pay Daniel back for the weed that I burnt. Didn't expect him to show up so early."

"Okay, none of that is that bad. I don't like that you were sneaking out and I don't like that you had been drinking and I am assuming that you did smoke weed at the parties? I am not going to tell you that there won't be consequences for those actions and it will take some time to get some trust back. I do understand what you were saying about burning the weed and I appreciate that. You were high though, probably from inhaling the smoke. I have to ask, why the change of heart when I showed back up and the sheriff said something about Daniel forcing the girls who couldn't pay him back for the drugs to have sex. You know anything about that?"

"No. I don't know anything other than Carly told me that if I didn't come up with the money, Daniel would make me pay for it in a different way and that is why she didn't like how I was dressed. She said it wasn't sexy. I don't know about all that stuff."

"Alright but you didn't answer all my questions."

Hannah had been pretty straightforward the entire time; but was looking at her hands and picking at her fingernails. She was nervous. Mike had been sitting in the recliner but moved to the couch, sitting down beside her and pulling her close. He was proud of the stand that she took; he just needed to know why it had happened when he showed up. Mike held her close for probably five minutes, not talking just holding her and running his hand through her hair. She was laying with her head on his chest and arms around him. It would have been precious if it wasn't for the reason why.

"C'mon sweetie, talk to me. Can't be that bad. I would say you've already hit me with the worst of it."

"Yeah it was. This just felt good. Grace had done so good for so long and I hadn't really done anything but caused problems. I guess I wanted to act better since you were here. I was afraid that you would leave if I didn't. I know you said you had retired but things are still a mess and you may get called back. I wanted you to love me and be as proud of me as you are of Grace."

"Hannah, you're not Grace. Your circumstances are different. She sacrificed everything for you and Matty to have a good life. I am proud of her and I do love her. But I also love you and I am proud of you too, just for vastly different reasons. You stand up for innocent people. You took a stand and have stuck by it. I am beyond proud of that. I am proud of the way you have committed to make a change in your own life. Now, all that having been said, you are going to have to talk to Sheriff Smith about all this and one other thing…I do love you."

"I love you too. I figured I would end up having to talk to him. You ready to go back to town? I'm hungry."

"Yeah. I am either staying the night with you all or you all are coming out and stay with me. I am afraid that Daniel will show up and cause problems."

"I think you scared him…"

"People like him don't scare. Let me grab some clothes and I will be ready. Check out your room. I think you'll like it."

Mike threw the clothes in a duffel bag along with his shaving kit. He would prefer all three kids to be out on the farm with him but he also didn't like the idea of Grace being alone and response time would be better in town if he showed up. Mike texted Alec with his plans and he and Hannah headed back to town. She loved her bedroom and couldn't wait to be able to stay in it.

They discussed their trip to Springfield Saturday. She was set that she wanted to go bowling but wasn't sure what else. It was actually a good visit. Mike hadn't come up with what Hannah's consequences were going to be yet but felt that Grace deserved an opinion on it.

Grace had supper on the table for them and so while Hannah helped Matty get washed up he told her what Hannah had told him and that he didn't want her to say anything to Hannah about it. He knew it would be hard for her but she needed to step into the role of older sister. It was time for him to be the parent. He also asked her to watch Matty Saturday so he could spend some time with Hannah. She was more than thrilled to help and thought it would do both of them some good. She made a suggestion of actually not punishing Hannah. Just letting her live with her choices. She would have to get her grades up and do chores to earn the new clothes that Mike was going to buy her. Mike wasn't completely sold on the idea but wasn't completely sure how to handle everything. He knew that despite their talk, his relationship with Hannah was delicate and he absolutely didn't want to sabotage it. He also knew there might be some repercussions at school with her peers, specifically Carly.

Supper was fun and there was a lot of laughter. The kids typically went to church on Wednesday nights but had skipped that week. Mike hadn't stepped foot in a church for many years and while he had his own doubts about religion; he could respect that it was something that helped his daughters get through everything they had to go through and so he would never pull them away from it. It was a coping mechanism for them, especially Grace and Matty had been raised thus far going to church. There were far worse ways to raise a child and he promised Matty he would attend a special program that was coming up that Sunday. The little boy was beyond excited to have Mike there. It might actually do Mike some good to be there.

He gave Matty his bath and did their bedtime ritual. It was a favorite part of his day. Matty was so sweet and affectionate and as badly as he was missing Christine and Lucas, it helped. After getting Matty to sleep, he checked on Hannah who was working on her homework and Grace who was working on a painting, presumably for his house. He grabbed her keys so he could check the perimeter. He would lock himself out, check the perimeter of the restaurant and then unlock the door so that no one could get while he was around back. He also checked on all the doors in the restaurant. Windows were locked and there was an interior light left on so Mike could tell no one was inside. He had promised Alec he would do a perimeter check before going to sleep. As concerned as he was for all three kids, he was more concerned about Hannah going to school the next day. He had planned on taking her to school and meeting with the principal, counselor and Alec.

After letting himself back in and triple checking the lock; he headed upstairs. He would sleep on the couch and the girls would be in Hannah's room. After hugging and kissing them both goodnight they headed in to bed. Mike was not going to sleep well and was bored. And despite it being late, he called Tom, he needed to talk.

"What is it with you and these late night calls?"

"Well you don't have to answer."

"If roles were reversed, you would answer."

"True. Just bored tonight. I'm staying at Grace's and there is nothing to do. Kids are asleep."

"Ever heard of sleeping? It's this period of time that your body has to have every day."

"Yea. I know about sleep."

"How are the kids?"

"Grace is finally accepting that she doesn't have to be a parent anymore. I had to tell Matty how his mom died and Hannah managed to get herself involved in a drug and prostitution ring. How are Sam and Ashley?"

"Doin' great. How did you find out about the ring?"

"The dealer confronted her. His mistake was it was in front of me and the restaurant that the sheriff and his wife own."

"Was there any blood shed? Is she okay?"

"She's okay but I am worried about her going to school tomorrow. She's already been in one fight over the clothes that I am asking her to wear. They aren't sexy enough."

"She's fourteen!"

"My point exactly. The fight was also about the same girl putting ex-lax in a disabled kid's milk. Apparently Hannah didn't like it and punched the girl. Bloodied her nose."

"Hmm, wonder who that reminds me of."

"Not me. Her mom?"

"Negative. It sounds like underneath everything, she has some redeeming qualities. Just concentrate on those and not her being involved in the drug ring. Did she get involved in the prostitution ring?"

"She says no. And I believe her. I think it would have happened eventually. Apparently this guy gets girls her age hooked on meth and has them selling marijuana and meth at school. When they can't afford their own habit, he prostitutes them out. Real winner."

"Wow. And I thought St. Louis was dangerous. No arrest yet?"

"No but its coming."

"How is your other issue?"

"The drinking? I've craved it but stayed busy and didn't think about it. Kids keep me hopping."

"Well yeah, that's their mission in life. Maybe you need to start dating? Kids can't be the end all."

"Where on earth did that come from? I'm not ready and the kids need my full attention right now. Plus I only found out about Christine's death a couple months ago. It wouldn't be right."

"Yeah but you had already gone through the grieving process. You can't say you didn't."

"I know but I am just not there yet. Not sure I will be. As rough as things were with Christine before I left for the Arctic, I still loved her. Obviously, that is how I ended up with Matty."

"Well, I don't need details in that regard. I know how babies are made. Just be thankful that despite the anger the two of you still managed to make one. I have to ask, you have no doubts that he's yours? I hate to ask that about Christine but…?"

"No doubts. She wasn't the sort. Besides the night before I left we…"

"Like I said I don't need details."

"Oh come on, you've told me things about you and Sasha that I didn't need to know. How is she by the way?"

"Yeah, speaking of making babies…we did. She's due in September."

"Wow, congratulations, brother! That's a surprise but I'm happy for you all."

"Thanks. You about done being bored?"

"Yeah, thanks for the talk. Night."

"Anytime. Good night."

Mike hung up and looked in all three kids. They were sound asleep. He was looking forward to his time with Grace but was extremely worried about Hannah being at school. If her grades had been better, he would hold her out for her own safety. There would be a meeting with the principal, counselor and school resource officer in the morning before he left with Grace. Alec would also be there. He wanted to focus on Grace the next day but Hannah would not be far from his thoughts. He just hoped the school had a plan in action to help her deal with Carly.


	12. Chapter 12

**Five Years Later**

Chapter 11

The meeting went as well as Mike expected. The school would try and keep Hannah and Carly separated but there were no promises. It scared Mike. He had instantly liked the school resource officer, Sarah Gibson. She had been the one to break up the fight between Hannah and Carly on Tuesday and she told Mike that she had suspected that there was more to the story but had to go with it being two teenage girls fighting because neither of them would give her a concrete answer. Tom had mentioned him dating the night before and he laughed it off but he was finding himself attracted to Officer Gibson, or Sarah as she insisted on being called. Hannah had been cool as a cucumber throughout the entire meeting but had apparently picked up on Mike's vibes and decided to pick on him.

"You know, Mom has been gone for five years and Officer Gibson is single right?"

"Yes, I know how long your mom has been gone. And your point about Officer Gibson?"

"She's pretty and she is really nice."

"Yeah so are a lot of women."

"Just sayin' Daddy. Mom would want you to be happy and Grace, Matty and I can't be the only things in your life. There is nothing wrong with dating."

"Okay but first of all, you guys aren't things, you are people. Secondly, I only found out about your mom two months ago. It wouldn't be right. Plus, Sarah is your school resource officer, it wouldn't be right for us to date."

"So you've thought about it! Go, Dad! I got to get to my class but I love you. Have fun with Grace, and please don't let her pick out something embarrassing to drive."

"I love you too. Now get on out of here! Behave yourself and more importantly be careful. Call me if you need anything."

He kissed her goodbye and headed back to Grace's apartment to pick her up. Maybe Tom and Hannah were right, his life couldn't revolve completely around his kids but the time wasn't right. Sarah had taken his phone number and given hers on the premise that she would call or text if there were any problems. She and Alec were working jointly to figure out which kids were being affected by Daniel and Carly and it would take time and patience.

Grace was ready to go by the time he got back to her apartment and Mike had already taken Matty to school so they could head directly towards Springfield. He was taking her clothes shopping and to get the rest of the necessities for his house before they went car shopping. They discussed the type of car that she would be getting, everything that had done with Hannah and Matty's questions the day before. And of course she had to bring up dating especially when she noticed the text alert on his phone from Sarah.

"Sarah's nice. I work with her sometimes. Pretty too."

"Oh not you too!"

"Maybe it's time you dated? I could set the two of you up. And before you ask, I will pull babysitting duty. All night if you want me to…"

"I am not having that conversation with you. You may be all grown up but there are somethings that are just off limits. How would you like me to try and set you up with someone?"

"How do you know I am not already with someone? You didn't ask…"

"When would you have time? You've been raising two kids and working eighty hours a week."

"Hmm, doesn't mean anything. You should definitely consider dating. Might help with the other problems you're going through."

"I doubt that. You kids have helped with that. I want to know about this guy. Does he work? Does he treat you good? Why haven't I met him yet? Do I need to call in a SEAL team to help me deal with him? I still have friends in high places."

"To repeat your own words; I am not having this conversation with you!"

"I'll just ask Alec or Maggie. Or better yet, Matty. He is very free with information."

"Mmm…good luck with that. Back to you and Sarah…"

"No, ma'am. No me and Sarah. I want to talk about this guy. I am wired to think he isn't good enough for you. No one is good enough for my baby girl."

"I'm hardly a baby anymore, Daddy. You'll like him. But it will be at least a year before you meet him. He's deployed."

"Oh, honey. You'll always be my baby. You'll understand someday. I need his name, rank and branch. I'll have Uncle Tom pull his jacket…"

"Not happening."

"Okay, well he must be at least somewhat decent. You met and started dating when you were still responsible for Hannah and Matty. That says something about him. That he would be willing to date a girl who was responsible…he did know about them right?"

"Yes."

"Officer or enlisted? It doesn't matter to me…"

"Daddy, seriously stop asking. We had only been dating for about six months when he deployed. We still talk regularly. It wasn't serious at all. Hannah and Matty both know him and like him. And yes, Alec and Maggie know him, quite well considering he's their son. I think they'll approve of him, little biased."

"Well I am a little biased where you're concerned. If you won't tell me anything else, I will figure out the rest. Branch of service would help…"

"Navy. And no he is not an officer."

"Okay. Well I will let it rest then and trust your judgement. Considering it was Alec and Maggie that raised him, he must be decent. The fact that he is Navy does bother me. If you and he get more serious, I think you know what you're signing up for. I was neglectful…"

"Yes I know, and I have no idea how serious we will be. As far as you being neglectful, you weren't. Besides, I don't know that he is planning on being career Navy. Now as you said, let it rest please."

"Okay if you leave the thing with Sarah and I dating alone?"

"I'll try."

"You aren't convincing."

"You didn't say anything about being convincing. Seriously, Daddy, your concern is sweet, but I am an adult. Even if everything was normal; I would still be careful. We didn't get serious because I knew he was deploying and I didn't want to put Hannah and Matty through the trauma of getting attached to Ryan and then have him leave and knowing there was a potential he wouldn't come home. At the time, I was responsible for them. I couldn't jeopardize them. They have known him for five years and considered him something of a big brother. I'm not sure they even knew we were dating. Now, I promise not to meddle in your love life as long as you leave mine alone. I don't even know that we will still be dating when he gets back. The only reason I brought Sarah up was that I want you to be happy. Hannah, Matty and I can't be everything to you."

"Have I told you lately how much I love you and how proud I am of you?"

"Only a few hundred times but it's still nice to hear."

The conversation in regards to Ryan and Sarah dropped after that. If things were normal, Mike would have bugged Grace unmercifully about him but things weren't. It spoke well of the young man that he would be willing to date a girl who was responsible for her two younger siblings and that he was also in the Navy. His parents were good people and so as much as Mike would like to pull his record, he wouldn't. He had to trust Grace's instincts. She may have only been a legal adult for a year but she had actually become an adult the moment her mother had died and she made the conscious decision to act the part. It did bother him a little that she hadn't mentioned him and he got the feeling that they were a bit more serious than she let on. It did make him wonder if Alec and Maggie knew that they had been dating.

Getting Grace to pick out clothes for herself was like pulling teeth. She was almost hardwired to forego anything for herself and get for Matty or Hannah. Mike didn't mind getting something for them but he was already planning on taking Hannah shopping for more appropriate gear and Grace had very few clothes. He had already seen her wear the same outfit twice. If she would pick out a pair of jeans she liked and fit her; he would put five more pairs like them in the cart. He did the same thing with shirts. If she commented on one he estimated her size and got varying colors and styles of it. It ended up being kind of a frustrating shopping trip for both of them. The only thing she didn't hesitate on was shoes. The pair that she was wearing were in such rough shape; Mike made her throw them away as soon as they got out of the store. He had ended up buying her three new pairs.

After getting the rest of the supplies for his house; they started car shopping. Grace was again being dodgy on what she wanted. She did tell Mike she would prefer something four door and maybe an SUV to haul all of Matty's gear in. She couldn't get out of the mindset that she wasn't solely responsible for the two younger kids; and so instead of arguing with her, Mike just went with it. It was heartbreaking to him because it was like she couldn't understand that he was sticking around. But then again, he hadn't been there when she needed him the most and it would take a while for her to get used to him being there.

She finally settled on a newer black Ford Explorer. Mike negotiated the price to where it would fit into her budget and handled the down payment. He was comfortable with it being a safe vehicle. It was completely mechanically sound and new enough that it would have a warranty. She hadn't thought as far as a down payment was concerned and Mike could tell that it bothered her that he had immediately covered it without even asking her if she could.

Once the purchase was made; Grace insisted that she take him to lunch. He had wanted to get headed back in case anything happened with Hannah but he also wanted to spend time with Grace. They finally settled on an Italian place that was down the street from the car dealership and met there. Mike could tell that Grace was still miffed about the down payment on the Explorer and most likely the clothes that he had bought her but he didn't care. His theory was that it was what any father would do.

Mike had texted back and forth with Sarah Gibson all day and she had let him know that Hannah was doing okay. She was sitting with some better kids at lunch and had kept as far away from Carly as she could. And so far, Carly hadn't caused any issues. Mike planned on being there as soon as Hannah was let out of detention that evening so there would not be a period of time that the two girls were alone.

After lunch, Grace was going to head home. Mike planned on going back to the clothing store and getting Grace some more clothes. She really hadn't gotten that many clothes. He knew that she would be upset with him but she had done a lot for him and it was only right that he do for her for a change. He texted Alec to make sure there weren't any specific uniform requirements and Alec told him that he preferred his office staff to be in khakis and boots. He also let him know that he had planned on taking Grace out of dispatch and putting her into records full time so he would need her in more business casual and to not say anything to Grace because she didn't know yet. He would just have to figure out a way to give her the clothes and boots that he had gotten her.

Grace was going to pick Matty up from school and spend the afternoon with him. Her dad was going to pick Hannah up and come back for supper. She was pretty aggravated at him for everything he had done that day. She knew he meant well and it was out of love; but she had managed for years on her own and now he acted like she couldn't. It was like nothing she had done was good enough. She hadn't meant to slip about Ryan because she knew her dad would go all protective of her. She and Ryan had talked about getting married when he come back but she wasn't sure how he would handle having her dad, the Admiral, back in the picture. It would be complicated.

After picking Matty up, she took him out for ice cream and then to the park to play soccer. There were advantages to having her dad around because she had never been able to afford to take Matty out like that before. He loved her new vehicle and was thrilled that Mike would be eating supper with them again. Grace needed a little space from her dad but didn't have the heart to tell him that. Maybe he would stay at his house the next day. She knew that he wanted Hannah and Matty to stay with him Friday night and was assuming she would be there too. She felt horrible but she was feeling a bit overwhelmed with everything.

She took Matty back to the apartment and started supper. She had washed and put away all the clothes that Mike had bought. She was grateful but it still bothered her that he was spending that much money on her. She knew he was planning on taking Hannah Saturday and getting her some more appropriate clothes. Maybe she would feel better after that. Matty read to her while she was cooking and it was pretty relaxed. It reminded her of what it had been like before her dad had shown up. She loved him, and was thrilled that he was alive and playing an active role in Hannah and Matty's life but she was getting tired of being treated like a kid.


	13. Chapter 13

**Ok, there are some warnings where this is concerned. Mentions of a sexual assault and attack. Also not a doctor so the medical stuff maybe wrong.**

 **Five Years Later**

Chapter 13

Mike picked Hannah up from detention and fortunately she hadn't had any problems. Sarah had stayed pretty close to her all day but was also discreet. Hannah had a test in math and had gotten an A on it. It just showed Mike that Hannah was more than capable of applying herself. She was still looking forward to going out with him Saturday and especially looking forward to bowling. He had decided to just take the additional clothes that he had gotten Grace when they went in. He knew she was getting aggravated with him and wasn't sure what to do about it.

When Mike and Hannah walked in with the bags, he immediately noticed the look of shock and anger on Grace's face. Fortunately her cellphone rang before she had a chance to say anything and it was from work so she had to take it. From what Mike could overhear she was being called in to enter some warrants into the system and it would take her a couple hours. He hoped she would cool down a little. She took a plate of dinner with her to work and told both the younger kids to behave. He could tell she was really upset when she didn't really even acknowledge him as she was leaving.

After supper, he took all the tags off the clothes and washed them so she wasn't tempted to take them back. Hannah was working on her geography and it was something he could help her with a lot so between settling Matty down and getting him into bed and helping Hannah his night was full. He had texted Grace to see if she was okay but she had only answered him with a "Fine" and didn't answer him back at all when he texted "I love you" to her. She definitely had his temper. It was hard treating her like the adult that she was; since he had lost so much time with her.

Mike didn't feel comfortable leaving the kids at night with everything going on with Daniel but it might be better if he did for Grace's sanity. He texted Alec to let him know that he wouldn't be with the kids that night and Alec promised to step up patrols and that Grace would be home soon. He wondered what her frame of mind would be like. Hannah was in her room and Matty was sound asleep so he decided to call Tom. He needed a sounding board.

"Little earlier tonight?"

"Yeah."

"You okay? You sound off? If there is a bottle in your hand, you need to put it down now."

"There isn't. Just screwed something up with Grace and haven't figured out what."

"Well, my guess is, knowing you, you've smothered her. She is an adult now and has been making adult decisions for years. I know you want to treat her like a kid and lavish her with gifts but you can't. You are communicating to her that she isn't capable of supporting herself. She has already proven she is capable of doing it without your help. Treat her like a peer."

"She's my daughter, not my peer."

"She can be both. Even if you don't like it."

"I missed a lot with her. And I just want to give her back some of what she has lost. She has a seventh grade education. How is that even fair? Don't you ever think about the 'what if's?'"

"Every day. But you can't focus on them. Yeah she lost a lot, she sacrificed a lot but I bet if you asked her, she would do it all over again. Take a step back, Mike. Help her with Hannah and Matty and be there when she needs it but let her do what she has been doing. If you don't give her some space, you stand the chance of losing her because as I said, she has proven she can manage without you."

"You are being entirely too blunt tonight. You okay?"

"Yeah, I'm fine."

"Alright, well Grace just pulled in downstairs. Holler if you need something."

"Will do, and remember what I said."

"Yeah, okay, thanks."

After they hung up, Mike knew something was off about Tom's attitude but couldn't put a finger on what it was. He was gearing up for an argument with Grace but she walked in and he could tell she was exhausted. Instead of bringing up the clothes that he had bought, he told her that he was going to the farm for the night and to call if there were any issues. She was not talkative at all and so he went in to check on Hannah and Matty. Matty was out like a light and Hannah was well on her way. By the time he walked back into the living room, Grace was sitting in a very awkward position and was sound asleep. He decided to cast Tom's advice aside for just a minute and covered her with a blanket and kissed her forehead before he left. He triple checked the locks and did a walk around the restaurant and left. He was absolutely terrified something would happen with him being gone but he knew they all needed some space.

He pulled into the store; not because he needed anything but because he was craving the whiskey. He hadn't all day but he was stressed out. But instead of going in and buying a bottle he started the truck back up and headed back to the farm. He hated going home alone. He wanted his kids home with him. But he also had to accept that they were at their home; the home that Grace had provided for them. The only thing that was making him smile was seeing the texts from Sarah. They had texted back and forth all evening; long after she had gotten off work.

He put some finishing touches on Hannah and Matty's rooms and checked Grace's over. He still planned on having the two younger kids with him Friday night and hoped that Grace would stay with him. He couldn't force it though. It did feel good to sink down in his own bed and not a couch. He set his alarm for six. He would text Grace to see if she needed help before actually going in. He wanted to but he wouldn't just show up.

He slept through the night and even slept over his alarm. He knew Grace would be awake at six thirty. He just prayed that she would cool off a bit. He was missing his kids. He and Sarah had already started texting back and forth. They didn't really talk about anything in particular; not even his kids. She had lost both her husband and daughter during the Red Flu and so they talked about their shared losses.

At six thirty on the dot he texted Grace to see if she wanted or needed him to come in to help with the morning routine. It was her response that made him seriously want to drive in and get a bottle of whiskey. "I don't need help. I've handled it for years." It broke his heart and he wasn't quite sure how to even respond so he chose not to. It was just easier to stay home at that point. He was beginning to wonder if she would even let him have Hannah and Matty for the night.

He texted Hannah to see if everything was okay and she told him all was fine and that she and Matty were missing him and couldn't wait to see him that night. At least they still wanted to visit. He hated the idea that he would have to ask his daughter for permission to see his younger children.

He spent the day making some repairs to his house. At one he finally texted Grace back asking her if she needed him to pick Matty up from school and if he and Hannah were okay to spend the night with him. She didn't text back for the longest time; and when she finally did it broke his heart once again. "No, I will pick Matty up and I don't think it is a good idea for them to spend the night with everything that has been going on with Hannah. Also don't think it's a good idea for her to go out tomorrow. It would be like rewarding bad behavior."

He decided that he would let Grace be the one to tell Hannah and Matty why they weren't spending the night. He had been looking forward to having them all week and he knew they were just as excited. He wasn't sure what he was going to do with his evening now. He had texted Sarah to check on Hannah at school and she told him that she was fine and had aced her test. He told her what was going on with Grace and she told him that legally speaking he had the right to have the kids whenever he saw fit. As painful as Grace's actions were, he wouldn't pull the legal card because he didn't want to traumatize either Hannah or Matty and he especially didn't want to damage his suddenly tenous relationship with Grace.

At four, Hannah texted him to check on him and let him know that the principal had let her out of detention because she had done so well that week. If she knew they weren't spending the night, she didn't say anything and he had already decided he was going to let Grace do the explaining. If she wanted to play the parent thing; she would have to deal with the disappointment.

His evening rolled by quieter than he wanted it to. There had been no more texts from Hannah or Grace for that manner. He wondered if Grace had taken Hannah's phone away because she had suddenly stopped talking. He thought about just going in but decided against it. About eight he got a very uneasy feeling and tried calling both Grace and Hannah with no response from either one of them. He was picking his keys up to go in when Alec called him.

"You need to get to town. Daniel showed up. Hannah and Matty are okay but Grace was beat up pretty badly. She hasn't regained consciousness and I think she has been sexually assaulted."

"I'll be right there. Have the paramedics been called? Is there a female officer?"

"Sarah Gibson is going to ride in the ambulance with her. Maggie and I will take the younger kids. Grace is pretty bad off and you need to be with her."

Mike made the trip to town in less than five minutes. Generally it took him about ten. When he pulled up to the apartment, there were squad cars and an ambulance outside of it. He took the stairs two at a time. Before he got to the door of the apartment, Alec met him and Mike could tell by the look on his face the news wasn't going to be good.

"Paramedics are getting her packaged up now. She's coded once already and they can't air care her out because of a head injury. She hasn't regained consciousness yet and you need to be prepared. He did a real number on her in every way possible. Hannah and Matty had walked down to the restaurant to get milk shakes. They are shaken up but physically fine. Maggie has them downstairs now."

"Please tell me he is in custody?"

"We got him, now just concentrate on Grace."

Just then the paramedics wheeled Grace out. She was intubated, her face was swollen and starting to bruise. They had a blanket up to her shoulders, making Mike suspect that she was naked underneath. Sarah followed the stretcher out with a bag in her hand.

"Mike, the ambulance is going to run code the whole way there so don't try and stay behind us. I got some clothes for her to come home in. The ones she was in have been seized for evidence already. Go check on Hannah and Matty and then head up. The guys are going to be here for awhile processing the scene and they will lock up."  
All he could do or dared to do was run a hand through Grace's hair. The guilt for not being there was eating away at him and the craving for the whiskey was even stronger. Sarah and the ambulance crew headed down the stairs and Mike snuck a look in the apartment. There was blood and broken glass everywhere. Alec promised him that he would try and clean it up as best as he could.

Hannah and Matty were extremely upset. Fortunately they had not been the ones to find Grace. Maggie had heard a lot of noise coming from the apartment and sent Alec up. That was how Daniel was arrested so quickly. He more or less was caught in the act. He promised both kids that he would be home as soon as possible and that he loved them and was so sorry.

The drive was like an eternity. Sarah had called him to let him know that they had gotten to the hospital and Grace's vitals were holding steady. She had not regained consciousness and her brain was starting to swell. He spoke with the doctor and gave permission to perform any and all procedures and to go to extraordinary measures to save Grace. They had already performed a rape kit on her and it had come back positive. It made Mike's heart hurt and the only thing he could hope for was that she was unconscious when Daniel raped her.

Sarah met him at the doors to the ER and told him that they would be moving Grace to surgery to relieve the pressure on her brain within about five minutes. She had a skull fracture, a busted ear drum, a broken nose, shattered collarbone, a fractured wrist, all her ribs were broken and she had a bruised kidney. She had put up a good fight because there were busted knuckles and broken fingernails. Alec told him that Daniel was a little worse for the wear even before he had gotten to him which made him think that the sheriff and Daniel had gone hand to hand too.

Mike got all of a minute with Grace before they came in to take her away. Part of him wanted her to be conscious so he could talk to her, tell her how sorry he was, how much he loved her and how proud he was. But all he got to do was give her a kiss on the forehead and whisper in her ear that he loved her. He should have been at the apartment and that would stay with him for the rest of his life.


	14. Chapter 14

**Five Years Later**

Chapter 14

It was the longest night of his life. About five am, they came out and told him that Grace had made it through the combined surgeries. She was already awake and wanting to go home. Sarah stayed long enough to see if Grace was ready to give any sort of a statement; going in the room before Mike. Legally speaking, it wasn't good because Grace couldn't remember anything about the attack, but Mike was actually glad she couldn't. Sarah told him the last thing Grace did remember was sending him the text about the kids not spending the night with him.

Mike had dealt with rape victims before, knew not to touch them, to keep his distance. But this victim was his daughter and it was insanely hard to not even touch her hand. Grace was pretty heavily medicated and was in and out of consciousness. When she was awake, she would just stare into space. If Mike did try and touch her, she flinched away.

At seven he called and spoke with Hannah and Matty. Maggie and Alec were bringing them up to visit in a bit and it made him feel slightly better to hear their voices. It was during one of Grace's more lucid moments and so he put the phone to her ear so she could talk to them too. She brightened up. She had been scared that Daniel had gotten ahold of them and Mike was afraid to tell her. She was going through all the normal emotions one could expect despite not remembering the actual attack. The nurse had already given her several showers, and she was convinced it was her fault and everyone was mad at her especially Mike. A counselor had been in to talk to her but there was not much that came of it.

All Grace wanted to do was to go home. There was no way Mike would take her back to the apartment and told her that much. She was actually accepting of that. Mike made no mention of their conversation the day before, because he figured that was what was causing Grace to think he was mad at her. It was honestly the furthest thing from his mind. It had hurt badly but the guilt over not being there when she needed him for the umpteenth time in her life bothered him far worse. He had failed his kids again.

Maggie and Alec came in with Hannah and Matty at lunch time with a container of Grace's favorite soup. She needed help eating but wouldn't allow Mike; fortunately she would allow Maggie to help her. Maggie and Alec both assured Mike that the younger two kids could stay with them as long as needed and Alec had assured her that her job was secure and to take as long as she needed. There would be a paycheck for her even if her own time off was depleted because all of the other employees were donating time to Grace. Hannah and Matty were very traumatized and Hannah especially felt horribly. Grace would be in hospital at least another night and Alec told her several of the deputies and dispatchers would be in to see her. Mike felt nervous about that many people coming in but she seemed genuinely excited about it.

After several hugs and kisses from Hannah and Matty for both Mike and Grace; they finally left. Grace had barely gotten settled when a steady stream of deputies and their families as well as dispatchers and jailers started visiting. It lifted her spirits and her room was suddenly filled with flowers, balloons and gifts. Mike wanted to put a stop to the visitors but she was in such a bright mood, it was too hard not to allow them. He stayed in the corner; only speaking when spoken to. Grace barely spoke to him but he was not leaving her side.

The doctor finally came back in and told them that if everything went well through the night, Grace would be released the next day as long as she was not left alone once she got home. Mike assured him that she would be staying with him and he would keep a very close eye on her. What had shocked Mike was how accepting she was being of him being the one to take care of her and moving her into his house.

Grace had told her dad to leave but he wouldn't. She really wanted some time to herself. She remembered more of the attack than what her dad knew but she had asked Sarah not to tell her dad that. Some of it was really foggy but the memories were there. She had told him that he could go home but he wouldn't. She didn't want him to see her cry and that was all she wanted to do. It had helped her to see Hannah and Matty. Sarah had come in the evening to visit this time and while Mike was in the bathroom, she asked her to take her dad out for supper. Sarah understood that she wanted to be left alone for a bit and would convince Mike to leave for a bit. It wouldn't be easy. Grace didn't mean as a matchmaking scheme but it wouldn't hurt her feelings if that was what happened. She just really needed some time to herself. As guilty as her dad was feeling; he would not handle seeing her cry. Sarah pulled him into the hallway when he walked out of the bathroom.

"Mike, I think it'll be a good idea for you to get out of here for a while. There's a new restaurant that has opened up, maybe we can get Grace something to go."

"Oh, I don't want to leave her. I've already left her once and look what happened. She's defenseless."

"Mike, she needs time to process and she can't do that with you here. She's putting up a front for you because she doesn't want you to see her crack. I know you think you need to be here when she does but she won't ever if you stick around. "

"I need to be here to help her…"

"The best way to help her is to do this. Give her an hour."

"She asked you?"

"Yea, she did. Mike, she loves you but you've smothered her. This is one of the ways you can correct that."

"Okay, but only an hour. And I want to stay close."

"The restaurant I have in mind is close. I wouldn't take you too far away. Now go in and tell her you're leaving for a bit. And Mike, don't be afraid to touch her. She may still flinch but she has to start trusting again, and who better to start with, than her own father."

Mike just shook his head; he really didn't want to leave Grace alone. There were thousands of scenarios of what could happen without him there. She was back to staring off into space when he walked in and so he walked up to stand beside her bed and touched her uninjured hand. He grabbed the bed control and moved it next to her hand, so she could call the nurse if she needed to.

"Grace, I'm gonna step out for an hour or so. Do you need anything?"

"A chocolate milk shake sounds good."

"Okay. I will grab you one. And I want you to know, I love you. I'm truly sorry about what happened. If I'd been there…"

"Daddy, please just go."

Mike leaned down and kissed her on the forehead. At least she didn't flinch away from him. That was one bright side. As he left he told the nurse that she didn't want to be disturbed but he wanted to be called if anything happened. Sarah had already given the nurse a heads up that Grace needed some time alone.

Sarah drove him to the restaurant that was about a mile from the hospital. They fortunately served milk shakes so he told the waitress he wanted one to go when they left. Mike was not particularly talkative, understandably so. Sarah and he had talked a lot and had even talked of going out once everything with Hannah was fixed, but this was not an ideal situation.'

"So, heck of a first date." Sarah wanted to draw Mike out from himself.

"Is that what this is? I haven't been on a date in over twenty years. I guess I've lost some of my techniques."

"You mean you and the kid's mom didn't date after you got married?"

"Oh we would go out for dinner and to the movies and such but we always ended up talking about the kids, bills, and my next deployment. And so they always ended in an argument. I think we just stopped going out because then we wouldn't argue."

"Your marriage was on a sour note?"

"Yeah, we had talked of divorce when I come back from the Arctic. I can't say for sure, but I would say that her getting pregnant with Matty was a way to keep me there. I was less likely to leave with a newborn. Course I would have never just left without providing for her and my kids. And then, the world went to hell. I honestly didn't know until about two months ago that she had died, let alone anything about Matty or where the kids were."

"Is there any doubt in your mind that Matty is yours?"

"No. Math works perfectly and despite all of our issues, neither of us would step away from our vows until a divorce was finalized. She was faithful. No doubt at all. And even if there was, it wouldn't matter to me. I love Matty already."

"He's a great kid. I can see similarities between him and you. I hated suggesting that but…"

"You've not been the first one and I will admit when I found out that she died in childbirth I questioned it. I didn't know that she was pregnant. Grace told me that Christine didn't want me distracted and so she didn't tell me when I called from the Arctic. It would have changed things dramatically if I had known."

"The fate of the world might be different."

"I was just support. Dr. Scott and Tom Chandler did the hard stuff."

"Not how I heard it."

"Just media fodder. They needed heroes and I was convenient."

"Sure, okay. And you don't accept the title because of how much your kids, specifically Grace, suffered."

"Yep. Media would have a field day if they knew about my kids."

Their food was served and so they talked about lighter stuff. Matty playing baseball, Grace's paintings and many other things. Mike kept his phone close and had checked it numerous times like he was afraid he wouldn't hear it ring. The "date" was actually a let off of steam for Mike. Sarah was easy to talk to and Mike could see why the kids at school found it so easy to open up to her. She had him talking about things that he hadn't in years.

Back at the hospital, Grace cried hard. Even though everyone had told her, it wasn't her fault, it was. If she had let Hannah and Matty go with their dad, they would have never been in danger. She might have even been with them. And now, her dad was blaming himself for what had happened and she had really hurt him by refusing him his own children. It was wrong of her and she had known it as soon as she sent the text. Despite the pain and hurt, her dad hadn't left her side until she asked him to. It said something about his character. She knew that he loved her unconditionally, even now. In all honesty, her actions concerning what she had said bothered her more than her attack. It would take her time but she would eventually get through that. She was scared to go back to her apartment and so when her dad had insisted that she was moving in with him, it didn't bother her. She did want her painting supplies there. Painting was how she let off steam and she needed that. When her dad was due back, she called for the nurse to take her to bathroom so she could wash her face. She didn't want it to be obvious that she had cried.

Mike was actually gone closer to two hours and it had been a bit of a relief for him. He loved his kids but he had recognized the need to talk to another adult even if it wasn't a "date." Grace was an adult but it was different with her. Being a parent to an adult child was a whole new and different experience. Maybe if he had been around when she became an adult it would have been different. He wanted to treat her like his baby girl; and she would always be that, but she was not a child anymore and wanted him to let her stand on her own. She had proven she was capable too but it was hard.

When he got back to the hospital room he could tell that she had been crying, her eyes were red rimmed and while it hurt that he wasn't there, he hoped it had helped her to let the emotions out. She was thrilled with the milkshake and fell asleep soon after finishing it. There was a recliner for him to sleep in but he just sit watching her for the longest time. He was all too aware of how close he had come to losing her. It seemed so soon for her to get out of the hospital but the surgeon had told Mike that being in a home setting would be the best treatment for her.


	15. Chapter 15

**Five Years Later**

Chapter 15

Grace was released about ten am. Mike was still nervous about her going home so soon but she had been cleared by all her doctors, including the psychiatrist. She had suggested that Grace go to further treatment or at the very least, go to a support group but Grace was resistant to the idea.

The only thing that she had asked for was that her painting supplies be brought to Mike's so Alec had packed those up for her while he and Maggie were getting clothes for all three kids. A group of the dispatchers and jailers had gotten together and cleaned her apartment so that when she was ready to move back in; it was ready. Mike was not sure she would ever be able to live there again. She had not even mentioned wanting to go back. She was concerned about having to take so much time off of work but Alec promised her that it was not a problem.

Once he got her home she immediately fell asleep on the couch. She was exhausted just from the trip home. There were soups and casseroles from various employees of the sheriff's department, Grace's church and the community in general. There was a basket of cards for Grace to read through when she was ready to sitting on the table and her easel, canvasses and painting supplies were set up in the corner of her bedroom.

Hannah and Matty came home later in that afternoon and they all cuddled up on the couch to watch a movie. Grace wore out pretty easily and she was quickly asleep with her head leaned against Mike's shoulder. Matty had also fallen asleep on Mike's lap and Hannah was kind of leaning up against Grace. Despite everything that Grace was going through and the guilt that both Mike and Hannah felt, it felt good.

Their nighttime ritual was not much different than what had been like at Grace's apartment. Mike was nervous about leaving Grace alone when he took the kids to school the next day but she was adamant that she would be fine. Both Hannah and Grace picked on him unmercifully about his "date" with Sarah and when there would be a second "date." Matty actually seemed distressed about the idea of Mike dating anyone and it worried Mike. As he got Matty ready for bed he took the time to talk to him.

"Matty, is something bothering you? I know it upset you that I missed your church program."

"No not that."

"Okay, what then?"

"I like having you here and if you and Officer Sarah start dating, you won't be here that much. I'll miss you."

"Matty, if I start dating anyone, and it's a big if, they will have to understand that you kids are my number one priority. I love you guys and Friday night scared me badly. There are so many different ways that you all could have been hurt. It's bad enough that Grace was so badly injured but it would absolutely devastate me if something had happened to you and Hannah too. As far as Sarah and I dating, we went out for one dinner and it was to give Grace some time to herself. It wasn't a date."

"You went out to dinner with a girl, Daddy, that's a date. Even I know that."

"How about just thinking it was just eating in the same place with a girl who happens to be a friend. I bet you have a friend at school who happens to be a girl that you eat lunch with."

"No, I don't. Girls are gross. Except for Grace and Hannah and Ms. Maggie."

"There will come a day that you will think differently."

"I don't think they will stop being gross."

"You'll stop thinking they are."

"So you don't think Officer Sarah is gross? Or Mommy; she wasn't gross?"

"No and no."

"Well, if you thought that about Mommy and you think it about Officer Sarah; then it's the same thing. Are you guys getting married and gonna have babies?"

"Oh my Lord, no! I only met her a couple days ago. I don't love her."

"Well you only met me a couple days ago, and you say you love me."

"It's different."

"Not really. How long did you and Mommy date before you got married?"

"We dated all through college so four years."

"That's a long time."

"Not really. Dating and being married are a lot different."

"If you say so; how long was it before you and Mommy had Grace after you got married?"

"Less than a year. Why all the questions?"

"Just curious…Did you and Mommy not like each other after Gracie was born; it took a long time for you guys to have Hannah. Or was she gross then?"

"We liked each other just fine and I never thought she was gross."

"Then was it hard to make Hannah. And that is what took so long?"

Mike was a complete loss for words and it was way past Mattie's bedtime. He looked out in the hallway and both girls were standing by the door laughing hysterically into their hands. He made eye contact with Grace and must have looked pitiful because she came in to rescue him.

"Okay, Matty, time for bed. You've had enough of a story time with Daddy."

"Yeah, good idea. Good night, Matty. I'll be right down the hall if you need anything; wake me up. I love you!"

"I love you too, Daddy! And I love you, Gracie!"

"I love you, night."

Mike and Grace made their way out of the room. It was not a conversation that Mike had been prepared for at all and both girls thought his embarrassment was hilarious. Hannah had gone back to the living room and when he and Grace walked back in, they both started laughing hysterically.

"On that note, I am going to go outside to smoke a cigar. If you two could collect yourselves a bit?"

"Daddy, you just got totally owned by a five year old. It was hilarious."

"Thanks, Hannah. I love you too!"

Mike stepped out on the back porch but could hear the girls still laughing. It was good to hear it even if it was at his own expense. Mike could tell Matty was not on board with him dating and he didn't want to upset the delicate balance he had within his own family. Sarah was a good friend, and she would remain that. Thinking of another good friend, he decided to call Tom.

"Little earlier tonight?"

"Yeah, just got done having to have the weirdest sex talk with a five year old."

"He's a bit young."

"Yeah, and he thinks girls are gross so thankfully I am safe from having to have the actual talk for a while."

"Well, you can hope."

"How are things with you?"

"Just work stuff. Have some sailors trapped in and still trying to figure out how to get to them."

"POWs?"

"Possibly. You miss it?"

"No. Not in the least."

"How are the girls?"  
"Besides thinking a five year old getting the best of me, okay. Last couple days have been rough. Grace was released from the hospital this morning…"

"Wait, I'm lost. She was in the hospital?"

"I forgot to call you. Sorry. Friday night, there was an incident at her apartment. That drug dealer got to her. Beat her up pretty badly. Skull fracture, broken bones, sexually assaulted her. She fought back, I guess, she gave as good as she got. She's processing. She says she doesn't remember anything but I suspect she does remember more then she says. The kids had gone down to the restaurant to get milkshakes so fortunately they weren't there. The owner, Maggie, heard the commotion and sent her husband up. Happens to be the sheriff. He caught Daniel in the act and took him into custody immediately. Grace had coded once by the time I got there and ended up having brain surgery. Also broke all of her ribs. She's in pain but would never admit it."

"My God, Mike. I'm sorry. Is there anything I can do?"

"Thanks, not at this point. She's scared to go back to her apartment so the bright side, I'll have all three kids with me for at least awhile."

"Did you and she get things straightened out?"

"No. Haven't discussed it. I was pretty mad at her until I got that call. Obviously not now. The plan had been that I would have Hannah and Matty overnight Friday night but she didn't want me to. About eight I got a weird feeling and was headed to town when the sheriff called me."

"You may not be mad at her now, Mike but you need to talk that out with her. Does she remember the conversation?"

"Yeah, she does. Just didn't seem right, she has enough to deal with right now. It'll be discussed but right now, she needs to recover."

"How are you?"

"I've been better."

"Craving?"

"I was Friday when she wouldn't let me have the kids but not since. Honestly been too busy."

"What were her reasons for not letting you have them?"

"She didn't think with everything going on with Hannah, it was a good idea to upset their routine. If I had forced the issue and taken them, I might have been there when he showed up. Could have stopped it."

"Or you would have taken the kids with you and the restaurant owner wouldn't have known that Grace was there by herself. She would have died. And knowing you, things would have been said before you left and she would have died before you had time to fix it. How would you have felt then?"

"Yeah, there's the rub."

"Mike, you're in a sticky situation. But you need to fix things with Grace. That argument is still hanging in the air and it will rear its ugly head at the worst possible moment. She is the only mother that the kids have had for the past five years, and the only one that Matty has ever known. I get that it's hard. You want the time back you lost with all three kids. You want your little girl back. But you have a grown up, mature daughter who has successfully raised two kids, worked two jobs and provided for her family. She is owed respect for that. It's not something my kids could have done. You have to treat her like an adult. If she was any other person who had done those things, not your daughter, she would instantly have the respect she's owed. I realize she is hurt and traumatized right now, but maybe forget the fact that she is your daughter and just give her what she is owed."

"Little hard to forget the fact that she is my daughter but I know what you're saying. I have to take a hands off approach to her right now anyway. She still flinches away a bit, even when I touch her. Doesn't seem to bother her when Alec or one of the deputies gives her a hug. And that bothers me."

"Well, they have become her family, they're her brothers. She trusts them. She knows they aren't going to leave. But you, she may think you'll leave again. It may be a protective thing. After Shaw kidnapped Sam and Ashley; Ashley had issues with anyone touching her. It was hard. All I wanted to do was wrap them up in a big hug and hold on forever. But it wasn't what they needed and it's not what Grace needs. You just have to be her friend. I know it's hard but it's what she needs. She'll come around when she is ready."

"Oh, she told me the other day that she has been dating a sailor. A Ryan Smith. I know it's a common name and I don't want to see his file but if you can do a little looking…"

"Ah, hell!"

"What?"

"He's one of the sailors that are pinned down. Possibly injured. Mike, you can't say anything. It's not hit the media. I shouldn't have told you…"

"I won't say anything, but the second you hear…"

"I will let you know. But it's not good."

"His parents are good people. They've already lost two kids. I think he and Grace are a bit more serious than she lets on too."

"I will keep that in mind. Like I said…"

"Yea, I know. God, she doesn't need anything else right now."

"I know. Listen, I gotta go but I will keep you updated. Let Grace know I am thinking about her please. If you need anything…"

"Thanks so much for everything."

After they hung up, Mike sit on the porch trying to process everything. He had a horrible feeling concerning Ryan. With everything that Grace was dealing with, she definitely didn't need a broken heart. All he could do was pray that Ryan made it out of whatever situation he was in. He was also worried for Alec and Maggie. They were some of the best people Mike had ever met and they didn't deserve to lose another child.

He finally went in and both girls were getting ready for bed. Grace was in some pain and needed help with the bandages on her head. Hannah had helped her with the ones on her chest and abdomen but the incision on Grace's head was still partially open and it turned Hannah's stomach to see it. They had left it partially open so that if there was any additional swelling it would help relieve it. Mike changed the bandages and checked the incision to make sure there were no signs of infection. Grace was actually pretty talkative and Hannah and she were interacting a lot.

"Hey, Grace, have you heard anything from Ryan lately?"

"No. Not in about a week. It's weird because he had been emailing me every day. Maggie and Alec haven't heard from either. They're worried."

"Daddy, what would cause him to not be able to email or keep in touch?"

"Ummm. It could be several things. Probably he is just where he can't get an email out. Could be a security thing. Could also be a connectivity issue."

"So I shouldn't worry?"

"You can worry because he's deployed but there were lots of times that I couldn't get a message out to you guys for a lot of different reasons. Don't go to the worst scenario immediately. I know it's not much comfort but it's all I got."

"I know but it's hard."

"I know, sweetie. All done, everything looks good. You headed to bed?"

"Yeah."

"Alright, well, good night. You know where I am if you need anything. I love you."

"Love you too."

Grace headed for her bedroom and he stuck his head in Hannah's room to tell her good night and that he loved her. He hated himself for lying to Grace and wished Tom hadn't told him about Ryan. If the worst happened; Grace would not forgive him for not telling her the truth. He would also have to face Maggie and Alec and lie to them and that would be hard. He texted Tom to let him know that Grace was starting to question the lack of communication. There wasn't anything that Tom could do other than maybe release the information to Ryan's parents that he was pinned down. Mike didn't have a good feeling.


	16. Chapter 16

**Five Years Later**

Chapter 16

Mike hated leaving Grace alone, because she was in considerable pain all day. He ran the kids to school and then to the grocery store to get a few of Grace's favorite foods; or at least the foods he could remember her liking. When he got home, she wasn't in the living room where he expected her to be. He finally found her in her bedroom; sound asleep. She was breathing normally and wasn't running a fever. He covered her with a blanket and closed the curtains. She had seemed so strong just a few days prior but now she was a mass of bruises, abrasions, incisions and internal scars.

Mike cleaned the house from top to bottom, did laundry and checked on Grace several times. She had roused a couple times, ate soup and took more pain medication; which caused her to fall asleep again. The surgeon had told Mike that she would be sleeping a lot the first couple days that she was home. It was her body's way of healing itself. Thankfully, there had been none of the nightmares that Mike had been worried about her having; at least not at that point. It was a blissful sleep.

When it was time to go pick Hannah and Matty up; he checked on Grace who was sound asleep again. She looked so tiny in her bed. He didn't like her not knowing where he was so he went back in the kitchen to write her a note.

" _Gracie,_

 _I ran into town to go get Hannah and Matty from school. I'll have my phone with me if you need anything. Don't worry about dinner. I'll start it when I get back._

 _I love you,_

 _Daddy"_

He put the note on her nightstand and tucked the blanket around her a little closer. He understood what Tom had said about treating Grace like an adult but it was too hard sometimes especially with her being so injured.

Hannah and Matty had both had a good day at school and they stopped by the apartment to get a few more things for themselves and Grace. Mike couldn't even tell anything had happened at the apartment. All he could remember was all the blood and glass all over the place. While the kids were getting the stuff they wanted out of their bedrooms; Mike found a picture of Grace and Ryan. He was wearing his BDU's and was a petty officer. He could tell by their body language that they were not only dating but were also close friends. He put the picture in his pocket and got the kids rounded around.

On the way home; Mike stopped back by the store to get a frame for the picture. He knew he had to stop lavishing Grace with gifts but he knew that she would be accepting of this one. He just hoped that he would actually get to meet Ryan.

When they got home; he couldn't find Grace anywhere. He set Hannah to her homework and Matty was reading out loud. He finally looked down towards the dock and she was sitting in one of chairs. It had gotten chilly and so he grabbed one of his sweatshirts. He wasn't going to tell her she couldn't sit there but he did want to at least make sure that she was warm. Just as he was walking out the door; his cellphone rang and it was Tom.

"We got them. Ryan is okay. He's banged up and his leg is a mess. Saved a lot of lives. He'll be coming home early. As soon as the medical team clears him he'll be calling his parents and Grace. Make sure she has her phone on her. Master Chief just got off the phone with the Smith's."

"Oh thank God. The others are okay?"

"Yeah, Ryan took the brunt of it. Good sailor, good leader. You can tell Grace that he's okay; just not that you knew beforehand."

"Alright; thanks. I know you're busy so I'll let you go."

They hung up and Mike told Hannah and Matty he would be outside for a bit and grabbed Grace's phone. As he walked up behind Grace; he realized that she was drawing with her charcoals. It was a picture of the pond and the surrounding hills. It looked peaceful. He sit down next to her and watched her for a moment.

"I called Uncle Tom to see if he had a read on what was going on with Ryan. He couldn't tell me anything on the initial call but just called back. Ryan and a couple other sailors had gotten pinned down somehow or another. I don't have many details but the SEAL team got to them. They are all alive; Ryan is a bit worse for the wear. His leg is messed up. He'll be coming home early. Don't have any details as to when but I do know his parents were getting the call that he was okay. Tom was going to have him call once he is cleared medically. He'll be calling you and his parents. Here's your cellphone."

"You didn't have to make a call for me but thank you."

"I wanted to."

"Not sure how he is going to handle it when he hears what happened to me."

"Well, I don't know. But I can say; from everything I understand about him, he's a good man. He's gone through his own hell and he might be able to help you and you can help him. If he is anything at all like his parents; he will be accepting of what happened to you; he'll hate it but he will accept it."

"I hope so. We had talked about getting married when he got home. He wanted me to at least try and go to some night classes. I know you probably aren't really happy about us getting married. We are pretty young."

"You are but only age wise. You're mature. It would be wrong for me not to accept that. When the time comes; you have my blessing, not that you need it."

"You haven't even met Ryan."

"No, but I trust your judgement. You too started talking marriage while you were responsible for Hannah and Matty and he was willing to make that commitment and take that responsibility on. That says a lot about his character. I do like the idea of you taking some college classes though."

"All that is only if he is okay with what has happened to me."

"I think he'll be accepting of it. It is hard to see someone that you love go through something so horrible, but you're strong and you will get through it. I know it probably seems impossible right now but I have every faith that you will. You have a lot of people in your corner who love you and will fight for you. And I am positive Ryan will be in that corner."

"What about you? I know you were pretty angry with me for not letting you have Hannah and Matty Friday night."

"Grace; I won't lie and tell you that it doesn't bother me. It hurt. But what hurt worse was getting that call that you had been attacked. Knowing that you and I were not on the best of terms and you could have very easily died Friday night; that really hurt. I know I went overboard with your vehicle and the clothes but try and understand my viewpoint; you have sacrificed everything to raise my children and you neglected yourself in the process. I can't give you back the last five years and all the experiences you might have had. I wish I could. And I haven't figured out how you aren't mad about those losses. I know that I don't need to buy your love; but maybe I was trying to buy your forgiveness? And maybe you think that I don't need to be forgiven; but I won't forgive myself for all that you've lost. Someone told me I needed to stop treating you like my daughter and start treating you like an adult who had earned the respect that I would give a perfect stranger for doing what you've done. That's a little easier said than done; especially now. As far as me being in your corner; yes I am. I love you. That is not going to change because of being mad about you not letting me have the kids. I really don't know what my role in your life is now but loving you has never and will never change. If my role in your life is to be your friend then that's what I will do; but I will make it clear that I will still always love you. I know you're all grown up and you're much more mature than most nineteen year olds; but you will always be my baby girl. That may not make sense but it doesn't make it any less true."

"I am sorry that I hurt you like that. I am sure I had a good reason for not letting you have them at the time; but that whole day is a bit foggy and I don't remember what it was. I can tell you that it won't happen again. They were both so disappointed and I didn't know how to go back on the decision that I had made. I do remember that I was upset with you because of those clothes that you bought. I know that you meant well and that it was done out of love; but it made it seem like nothing that I've done or accomplished over the last five years was good enough. I didn't feel that I needed to be lavished with gifts. As far as you not knowing what your role in my life is; you're still my dad. It's not going to change and I don't want it to. I just want to be treated like an adult. I know that's hard for you because you didn't get to see me become an adult and you blame yourself for everything but it doesn't change what I've done. So let's limit the gifts to birthdays and Christmas and nothing to extravagant, okay? And if I need help or need something I will ask for it, okay? I love you and I have one more thing to ask of you."

"Deal, what's the other thing?"

"I would really like for you to give me a hug. I understand why you haven't but I've missed them."

Mike stood her up and pulled her into as gentle of a hug as he could. Every one of her ribs were broken and the last thing Mike wanted was to hurt her. It felt so good to just hold her though; she didn't flinch away from him and she had her now bald, bandaged head leaned into his chest. They stood like that for a couple minutes until her phone rang. It was a restricted number and Mike knew it was probably Ryan.

"Answer that. May be Ryan. I am going to go up and start supper. I'll hold your plate." Mike handed her the sweatshirt and kissed her forehead. As he was walking away he heard her talking on the phone and say the name, Ryan. He hoped that the young man would be accepting of what had happened to Grace. Hannah had supper partially started and Matty was still reading out loud. He kept his eyes on the dock and saw Grace sitting in the chair talking on the phone. She had pulled the sweatshirt on and had her legs swung over the side of the chair. Mike was nervous but he couldn't eavesdrop on the conversation.


	17. Chapter 17

**Five Years Later**

Chapter 17

Mike, Hannah and Matty had just sat down and Matty was saying the blessing when Grace came in. She sit her phone down on the kitchen island; grabbed her plate and silverware and sit down next to Matty. Mike watched every move she made for some type of indication of how the conversation with Ryan had gone but she wasn't giving any. Matty decided he needed ketchup for his mashed potatoes and so Mike jumped up to get it. As Mike sit it down next to him; he leaned down and whispered; "And so…?" in Grace's ear. She gave him a broad smile and he didn't need to know anything else at the moment. He went back to his seat and resumed eating his meal; which wasn't easy to do watching Matty eat an overabundance of ketchup in his potatoes. That was just a little gross.

Grace and Hannah washed up dishes; or as much as Grace could do while Mike gave Matty his bath. It had become a good ritual for them and one Mike enjoyed immensely. He and Matty were still developing a bond and he took every available opportunity to spend time with him. As easy as it was with Matty, he still missed Lucas. He suspected he always would. Matty was an absolute joy to be around and that helped immensely. He seemed to sense when Mike was feeling a bit sad because he would cuddle up close to Mike and give him a kiss on the cheek. He was a very sweet child and Mike just had to curb his ketchup habit.

After getting Matty to sleep and helping Hannah with her homework; he found Grace in her bedroom. She was reading a book with a blanket over her legs. She had laid claim to his sweatshirt but he honestly didn't care. It was a warm one and besides being about ten sizes too big; it was comfortable. He hadn't planned on asking her for any details regarding Ryan but she seemed to want to talk.

"So Ryan knows everything. His dad had told him some of what happened and I told him the rest; what I could remember anyhow. I think he's still processing what happened to him; but he said that we would be okay. His knee was badly broken and so he will be in p.t. for a while. They are supposed to be bringing him home sometime in the next week or so. Have to arrange for escorts since Alec can't really leave the area. What bothers me; he doesn't want to talk about what happened to him at all. Kept kind of deflecting it, wanted to concentrate on me. Is that normal?"

"Yeah, it is. I was a POW. It was after the Red Flu hit. I had just been promoted as Captain to the Nathan James and it was a goodwill mission. We were delivering the cure to Vietnam. What we didn't know was that the Chinese President had an anti-cure developed. It rendered the cure ineffective essentially. People were dying. While we were at a function in Vietnam, the night club we were in was attacked. Myself, and several other sailors were captured. One of the sailors, Mason, got shot in the attack. He ended up dying. The leader of the pirates that captured us, Takehaya, had figured out that transfused blood kept the symptoms of the Red Flu at bay. I was his 'donor'. It could have been a lot worse but two of the other sailors, Miller and Diaz, snuck out with my permission to find an escape route. They were caught and whipped. Miller's ankle was badly mangled. Eventually Uncle Tom and the crew of the Nathan James found us but not before four more sailors died. Because I was the captain, those five deaths and Miller's ankle and both his and Diaz's scars lay directly on my shoulders. Because of the choices I made, in cold weather, Miller will have a limp. Cruz, one of the sailors that died, will not get to watch his nephews grow up. Mason had a girlfriend that he was going to propose to. That won't ever happen. That stuff stays with a person forever. My point is, Ryan is lucky in that none of his sailors died but there will be long-lasting effects that he will live with. Sometimes that is worse. If he wants to fixate on you, let him. It's what he has. I will help him in any way that I know how but my best advice for you; is let him concentrate on you."

"Wow, Daddy, I didn't know anything like that had happened to you. I guess I thought you had had some sort of cushy office job this whole time. Are you okay? From the transfusions and all?"

"Being okay is relative. I've accepted it. And now I can potentially help Ryan. I'm gonna step out and smoke a cigar. I'm assuming you're headed to bed?"

"Yeah."

"Okay, well goodnight. I love you. If you need anything, wake me up."

"Night. Love you too. And Daddy…"

"Yeah?"

"Thank you for everything. Even the clothes."

"You're welcome."

Mike checked on Matty who was sound asleep and Hannah who would be headed to bed soon. He gave her a kiss and told her to sleep well. She was pretty devoted to her studies and working hard. He was proud of her. He locked up the front door and headed out to the dock with his phone and a cigar. Normally he would have a glass of whiskey but he hadn't even thought about it all day. He wanted to call Tom and thank him properly for all that he had done.

"Hey, not busy now?"

"Not as much."

"I just wanted to thank you for everything that you've done. Not only for Ryan but for me. I don't think I could have gotten through the past five years without you, or the past week."

"You're welcome. I couldn't have done what I did without you either and if you ever decide to come back…"

"Not happening. It would make Grace responsible for my two younger kids again and I can't do that. She deserves to have a life. She and Ryan are pretty serious and I've already given them my blessing."

"He's a good guy. I've met him. When I checked on him this evening his biggest concern was Grace. He is kind of scared of your opinion of him by the way. But he is glad that you are back in Grace's life. He is probably going to be asking you for her hand. Asked me what I thought of that."

"I'm actually okay with them getting married. I think normally I would have been throwing a fit, that she's too young. I do have some reservations that he is in the military. I was definitely not the best husband or father that I could have been and she could very well be signing up for the same life her mom had. I don't like that part."

"So warn him. I understand what you are saying. Looking back there were things that I could have done differently with Darian and with my kids. But you have a chance to fix some of the things that have been screwed up. Spend time with all three kids. Become a friend to your daughter, not just her father. She will need that when Ryan deploys again."

"Yeah I know, you know, I always figured that when either of my girls brought a boy home I would end up chasing them around the house with a shotgun…not giving them my blessing to get married before I had even met the boy. I think I'm losing my mind or something."

"Well, Grace isn't bringing home a boy; she's bringing a man home. And before you put that shotgun away, you still have Hannah. She might be a bit more interesting."

"Don't remind me. I'm already going to have a massive bonfire to burn all her old clothes. Don't particularly want to see that much of my fourteen year old's skin ever again."

"Yeah, I can imagine. Little hard to think about since I've changed her diaper, and I'll tell her as much. So, it's a bit below my paygrade but I am the one escorting Ryan home. Master Chief too. We are going to have him terrified of you by the time it's all said and done."

"I forgot about the diaper thing. How did you get so much poop everywhere again? As far as Ryan is concerned; I'm glad it's you guys. I maybe accepting of him but he is still going to probably be marrying my baby girl so you get it. Any idea when?"

"Doc's are releasing him within a couple days. Be a nice surprise for him to just show up, don't you think? I'll let you know so you can Grace and his parents in the right place at the right time and I'll let him know."

"Sounds good, thanks again."

"I will have more definitive answers tomorrow and will let you know. And please put your shotgun away. I promise, he's a good guy. I would approve if it was Ashley."

"Makes me feel better. Have a good night."

Mike hung up and looked at the table. Grace had left her drawing pad and charcoals so he grabbed them and headed up to the house. It was supposed to rain and he didn't want the drawings destroyed. They were absolutely beautiful but then again; he was biased. All three kids were sound asleep; even snoring a bit.

He finally settled down and went to sleep. At some point through the night it started thundering and apparently Matty didn't like thunderstorms. He finally got up and went in and got Matty.

"Want to sleep in my bed with me? Won't stop the thunder but it might make me feel better? I don't like thunder much either."

"Yeah, please? It's scary."

Matty was truly petrified of thunderstorms and Mike ended up bear hugging him to make him feel safer. He had told Matty that he was scared of storms to make him think it was okay to be scared of something and so Matty thought he was helping Mike as much as Mike was helping him. In any case, it made Mike feel better to be able to comfort the little guy a bit. It had shocked him how quickly he had started loving Matty. He had been very concerned that he wouldn't have a good bond with him; and it probably wasn't the same as what he had with his girls or had with Lucas; but it was special and very sweet. And probably exactly what he needed after losing Lucas. Despite the issues that he and Christine had had before he left; they had managed to create an amazing little boy. Mike hated that Christine had never even gotten to hold Matty but he would love him enough for the both of them.

His own father had rarely showed him any affection and from the beginning; Mike had been determined to be a better, more loving, more affectionate father. It was different with boys because they weren't as accepting of affection but Mike refused to let that stop him. He and Lucas had had a great bond and Lucas never hesitated giving Mike a hug. It was something that he wanted with Matty too. He remembered hesitating before giving his own dad a hug and when Grace was born; his dad had shamed Mike for being so affectionate towards her. He hadn't lived to see Hannah, Lucas, or Matty born. He couldn't understand it then but he could be different.


	18. Chapter 18

**Five Years Later**

Chapter 18

Grace woke up and realized that she only heard Hannah moving around. It was almost seven thirty. She jumped up and ran into her dad's bedroom. She knew it had stormed through the night and normally Matty hated storms. Their dad was lying on his side with Matty facing him; with their arms around one another. Grace had been worried about their relationship; it not being as strong because of Matty being older and the fact that their mom had died having him. But the relationship was every bit as strong as what Lucas' and their dad's had been. It was really sweet to see them like that. She finally shook her dad's arm and roused him.

"It's seven thirty. Hannah's awake and moving. I'll get Matty and you can get ready and I'll have some coffee made. Sorry, I just woke up myself."

"It's fine. He'll just be a bit late. It's kindergarten, he won't be missing much."

Matty was a grumble bucket that morning and by the time it was all said and done; she was begging Mike to take him to the barber after school. It took both her and Hannah to get his hair even slightly managed. She had loved his curls until that morning. School started at eight thirty and they got out of the house at ten after. Hannah had made Matty a sausage biscuit that he could eat on the way there and Grace had a to-go cup of coffee for Mike. He was looking a bit rough and she said something about driving the kids to school but Mike just threw her a look. The doctor had been adamant that she not drive for at least two weeks but she was starting to get cabin fever. Maybe she would ride in with her dad when he went to get the kids from school. Maybe go to her apartment.

Mike barely got the kids to school on time. Fortunately Hannah was old enough he didn't need to walk her in but by the time that he got back in the truck from taking Matty to his class; he had a text from Hannah that the principal and Sarah Gibson wanted to speak to him. It was wrong and he shouldn't have done it; but he immediately texted back with; "What'd you do now?"

When he got back to the high school and walked into the principal's office; he immediately noticed the look on Hannah's face and knew he had screwed up with her. She had her arms crossed over her chest and looked mad. The principal simply wanted to update him on Hannah's progress and Sarah wanted to let him know where they stood with the investigation regarding the drug and prostitution ring. Her grades were getting better every day and on her free period; she was working with kids like Josh. The teacher had praised her patience with them. When the meeting was over he asked for a moment with Hannah because she was absolutely fuming. The principal and Sarah excused themselves and gave him use of the office on the promise that it would only be a couple moments.

"Look, Hannah, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have asked that. I get your mad at me and you have the right. But I am sorry. You have been doing so well and I am so proud…"

"No, Dad. I'm not mad, I'm hurt. I will never measure up to Grace so maybe I should just stop even trying. Sorry I can't be perfect."

She had started to walk out but he grabbed her by the arm and pulled her in close; giving her a hug. She was resistant at first and it hurt. He couldn't win for losing with his girls. He finally pulled away but put both hands on her shoulders and seen the tears in her eyes.

"Hannah, I screwed up. I shouldn't have asked that and I will admit that. I am sorry that I hurt you but you shouldn't stop what you've been doing on my account. As far as measuring up to Grace; she has her faults too and I'm not blind to them. I can't unsay what I said, but that doesn't change the fact that I love you and I am proud of you. Please don't stop what you're doing. It's not for me. It's for you. Now I need you to go to class and do your best. I want more meetings like this one and I promise I will think before I text you back."

He pulled her in for another hug and was glad that she returned it; putting her arms around his waist. As he released her, he wiped the tears off her face and kissed her on the forehead. He could still see the pain in her eyes but at least she had kind of given him a bit of a smile.

As they walked out of the office and Hannah headed to her class; Sarah followed him out to his truck. They hadn't been talking as much since their dinner out. It wasn't because Mike didn't want to; he had just been busy with his kids. And they were his priority; despite how much he screwed up. He still felt an attraction to Sarah, even though it had only been two months since he had found out about Christine's death. It just felt wrong.

"Hannah okay? She seemed upset after she got your response."

"Yeah; I screwed up. I do that pretty often with my kids."

"That's parenting 101. She knows that you love her; that's what is important."

"Christine handled the day to day stuff. I wasn't around much. And I am paying for that now."

"But you were serving your country; saving the world. Making it a better place for your kids."

"Yeah; maybe but it cost too dang much. Those kids deserve more. Anyway, getting away from my total lack of parenting skills, did you need something else?"

"Yeah, I know you're busy but was wondering if you wanted to dinner again? A more official date? Might do you some good to be away from all three kids. If you don't want to go far we can just do dinner at my place. I can cook."

"Let me see what Grace says first. She's still in a bit of pain and I don't want to ask her to watch Matty until she is ready. Hannah can help her but it still doesn't feel right. The kids are my priority; I'm sorry but they are."

"It's understandable but you also need a breather."

"Yeah, maybe. I will let you know."

He was sitting in his truck and talking to her through the open window when she leaned in and pulled him into a kiss. A very passionate, deep kiss. He hadn't had one even remotely like it for over five years and it shocked him but also felt good. He had to pull away just so he could breathe.

"Come over for dinner; and there will be a lot more like that. Wouldn't kill you to let off some steam and I can't think of a better way."

All he could do was nod at her. He was completely speechless; which was rare. He wasn't sure if he was ready for "more." But he was also intrigued. It had been almost six years since he had last been with Christine and he would not step out until he found out for sure that she had died. Yeah, he had gone through the grieving process for her but he hadn't fully accepted it until he saw her death certificate. He definitely needed to let off steam but sex wasn't necessarily the answer; especially with someone he didn't know that well. He was not into one night stands or casual sex. It wasn't his style. He liked relationships. He had dated one other woman before Christine; his high school sweetheart. Katie had been his first, as he had been her's. She had been killed in a car accident the summer after their senior year and when he met Christine; they didn't sleep together for at least a year. He actually enjoyed that fact. His relationships were not solely based on sex. He didn't want to change that; and he was getting that drift from Sarah. He was also getting a weird vibe from her.

Grace texted him asking him to please make an appointment at the barber's to get Matty's hair buzzed off that afternoon after school. He had wanted to all week but she had been a bit resistant to his curls getting cut off. They were cute but almost unmanageable in the morning. He was picky about his own hair getting cut but went ahead and made himself an appointment so that Matty felt better about it. Grace had also texted that she was thinking about coming into town with him that afternoon and wanted to go to her apartment. He was afraid of what her reaction would be to it. He knew that while she said things were foggy; she actually remembered a lot more about the attack then what she let on. He wanted to be with her when she walked into that apartment. He had been there, the kids had been there, and if she decided to never go back, he would have happily moved her belongings to the farm or wherever she choose, but it was probably smart for her to go back at least once.

He swung by Maggie's and explained to her that Grace was wanting to visit her apartment that afternoon and he wasn't real sure what her reaction would be. Maggie was going to be close by if she was needed. They talked a little about Ryan's injury and him coming home. He explained a little of the process to her and that he would be escorted home. He did neglect to tell her that it would be a surprise and that the CNO would be bringing him home. After leaving the restaurant; he headed home. Grace was sound asleep in the recliner when he walked in. He took the charcoal out of her hand and the drawing pad off her lap and covered her with a blanket; kissing her on the forehead.

He would wake her up about one. He didn't want Hannah or Matty there when she went back to the apartment. He wasn't sure that he even wanted to be there; but he wasn't going to let her face it alone either. He might have asked Sarah to help her but he couldn't get the weird vibe that he had gotten from her off his mind. Maybe he was overthinking things. Something was off, it was like she was trying to get him away from all three of the kids and essentially offering him sex to insure it. He was half tempted to just go to her house on the pretense of having a dinner out just to see what her frame of mind was like. He just didn't quite trust her.

Grace woke herself up about twelve and he fixed her some lunch. She was in quite a bit of pain and Mike was questioning her even leaving the house but she was adamant. She felt she needed to get going to the apartment over with and she was probably right. It just hurt Mike to see her suffer; both physically and emotionally. And it was only going to get worse. The only person that might help was Ryan.

She ended up needing help even putting on a sweatshirt and so Mike grabbed one of his own and helped her. She was so tiny and it almost hit her knees but it was plenty warm and she was not in it for any fashion awards. He would take her for lunch at Maggie's and then upstairs. He would see if Maggie would be willing to go up with them.


	19. Chapter 19

**Quite a bit of sexual innuendo in the next couple chapters and there are further details about Grace's attack that might be disturbing.**

 **Five Years Later**

Chapter 19

Maggie was hit with a wave of business people wanting a late lunch so she wasn't able to go upstairs with Mike. He had to admire Grace's determination and resolve. She was shaking and scared but had an inner strength that Mike was proud of. He unlocked the door and put his arm around her but she pushed away from him. He knew that she needed to do it on her own but he would be close by.

Grace had been terrified that the blood and broken glass would still be there but it wasn't. The only sign was a dent in the dry wall on the kitchen island. Daniel had grabbed her by the hair and slammed her head into it. After that things got foggy. She could remember him taking her clothes off but beyond that everything was vague. He had threatened that if she screamed; he would kill everyone that she cared about and had kept his hand on her throat the entire time. She had some pretty nasty bruises on her throat from it.

She knelt down and touched the dent in the dry wall. It was what they all figured had caused the skull fracture and possibly the busted ear drum. Mike had kept his distance but also stayed fairly close. He knew that she was about to break and he needed to be close by; he just wished that Maggie was also there.

"I tried fighting back. I punched him, scratched him, kicked but he seemed so much stronger. He kept punching me in the sides and I could feel the bones breaking. He twisted my arm and I felt the bone split. He told me that if I screamed out; he would kill everyone I loved. He grabbed me by the hair and slammed my head in here. After that everything was foggy. I remember him holding me by the throat and taking my clothes off but it was like I couldn't fight anymore. I should have but I couldn't. Everything goes black after that. I remember hearing Alec's voice at some point and then I remember hearing yours but nothing other than that. I should have fought harder."

Mike knelt down next to her. She was remarkably calm. He had figured that she would be more emotional but she wasn't. He had interviewed rape victims before and they generally always cried and they seemed to always think they should have fought harder. She was staring at the dent in the wall; not reacting at all. It was almost eerie.

"Daddy; it's strange and maybe I'm not remembering something right but I could swear I heard a woman's voice in the apartment before Alec got here. It's a voice I know too. Someone I know. It doesn't make any sense. And I think she held me down when he…when..he…raped me."

The last sentence came out in a sob. It was the first time that Grace had really admitted that she had been raped. Mike wanted to wrap her up in a hug but it was like she was in a trance and he couldn't risk traumatizing her further. He stayed on the floor next to her but called Alec.

"Hey; Grace wanted to come to her apartment and she is remembering some stuff. She says there was a second person here. A woman. She thinking she knows the voice. She's kind of in a trance right now and I think she needs to be reinterviewed."

"I'll call Sarah Gibson and I'll be right there."

"No; just come by yourself. Don't bring Sarah into this."

"I have a policy concerning sexual assaults. It's better for the victim if a female officer is there."

"Yeah, I know and I typically would agree with you but I have a weird feeling regarding Sarah. I may be wrong, and I hope I am, but I think the person over Daniel; the reason you couldn't quite crack the school end of the investigation has something to do with Sarah. There is some other stuff regarding her and I will explain it but I would feel better if you did the second interview."

"Grace may feel differently. The fact that I'm male, her boss…"

"You are a little more than that. You've practically been her father the last five years. She is going to be more comfortable with you then someone from another agency."

"Okay. I'll be there in just a couple moments."

Mike hung up. It pained him to admit that another man had raised his children but it was true. Alec had played a very important role in his daughter's life. He had been the one that, with Maggie, had guided her into adulthood. Alec and Maggie had been there for the kids when Mike was not. It was a debt that he would never be able to repay.

Mike gently guided Grace to her feet and to the couch. She was almost catatonic. She was at least pliable. He hoped that she would be able to tell Alec what she remembered. He didn't particularly want to hear it again but he also would not leave her side. He had done that too many times in her life and the last thing that she needed was for him to do it again. Even if it meant stepping out of his role as her father and into that of a friend; he would. He busied himself; getting her a glass of water and a blanket to hang over her shoulders. She was shivering but didn't feel cold. For the first time in his life; he was thankful for his experiences as a cop, he knew that her responses were quite normal and healthy. He knew how to react to it. His instincts as a cop were overriding his instincts as her father which was what she needed.

Alec came in and sit down on the coffee table and Mike sit next to Grace. He put his hand over hers and squeezed. It was enough to snap her out of the trance that she was in. She drank some of the water that Mike had gotten her and took a deep breath. She knew why Alec was there and they just let her talk. Alec had hit the record button on his small tape player and nodded at her.

"The kids wanted milkshakes since I wouldn't let them go to Daddy's that night. I was frustrated and thought maybe they would calm down if I let them go downstairs to Maggie's to get them. I stayed upstairs because I needed a breather. I know Hannah locked the front door but apparently the back door was either unlocked or they broke the lock somehow. I was working on a painting and had my back to the room. Had music going too so I didn't hear them behind me. Before I realized it; someone came up behind me and grabbed me from behind; knocking me off the stool. I immediately started kicking and he hit me in the face; I think that is when my nose got broke. My eyes teared up and I couldn't focus. It hurt. I was still kicking and punching at him. I didn't recognize him at first but then I realized it was Daniel. I had dealt with him some at the jail. I could hear a woman's voice telling him to not let me scream but I couldn't figure out where her voice was coming from. It's a voice I know too; from work. I just can't quite place it. I was fighting back; kicking, punching, and scratching. I remembered what you had told us at work about if we were ever attacked to scratch the assailant so that we would have their DNA under our fingernails so I did. He kept punching me in the sides. I remember hearing the bones breaking and having trouble breathing. Somehow he got ahold of me by the hair and threw me into the island. Everything gets foggy from there on out. It was like I could feel my heart beating in my ears; if that makes any sense. I hadn't screamed because they both told me that if I did they would kill Hannah and Matty. I knew if I did I would get help but they would have hurt them. She was holding me by the arms but I can't remember her face; while he took my jeans and panties off. I don't remember anything else other than feeling like I was being held down and what he was doing hurting really bad; he was rough. His breath smelled bad too. I remember that too. Her hands were soft and she was wearing a perfume. It reminded me of my mom's perfume. I'm sorry; the next thing I remember is hearing your voice and then my dad's voice. I also think I remember the woman talking to my dad but it doesn't make sense. I'm sorry; I just can't remember anything else."

"Grace; you did great. Can you remember the name of the perfume? Your dad might be able to help you since it was one your mom wore."

"It was called 'Happy.' I got Christine a bottle for every anniversary and birthday. I think Clinique is who produced it; at least then. She practically took baths in the stuff. It was the only perfume Christine ever wore."

"Yeah that's right. Mom loved that stuff. I smelled it too when the paramedics were working on me but that doesn't make sense. They were both men. Only other person in the room was Sarah. And I remember smelling it at the hospital too. I thought it was something one of the nurses was wearing. Why would I keep smelling Mom's perfume?"

"Hard to say. Your nose was broken too. It might have been a scent memory. Comforting to remember your mom." Alec and Mike both knew better but they wanted Grace to not overthink the perfume memory. Alec shut the recorder off. Grace had been so calm throughout the entire statement but it was like it had exhausted her because she leaned into Mike and put her head on his shoulder. Alec had gotten a call and had to leave. Mike had a little bit before he had to pick Matty up but Grace didn't want to stay at the apartment especially by herself so Mike helped her up and locked up the apartment.

They went back to Maggie's where the kid's pastor and his wife were eating a late lunch. He had been out of town and had not had a chance to visit with the kids but Mike could tell Grace was comforted by the couple. They were likeable and invited Mike to church. He promised that he would bring the kids the next Sunday and warned them it had been several years since he had stepped into a church.

He left Grace visiting with Maggie and the couple so he could go get Matty for his haircut. The little boy was full of chatter and had skinned his elbows up. He was proud of the abrasions. Mike was foreseeing a lot of emergency room visits in his future. Matty was definitely all boy. The haircut went without a problem and Matty was thrilled to have his hair much shorter. Mike had also had his trimmed up to make Matty feel more comfortable. Matty having his haircut so short made him look even more like Lucas and that hurt just a bit but he would never tell him that.

When they got back to Maggie's, Mike had a half hour before he had to get Hannah. He just prayed that she had forgiven him a bit for his huge lapse in judgement. He knew his relationship with her was delicate at best and she was doing everything she was doing to please him. He had screwed up big time where she was concerned. He was worried about her because his brain was still thinking that Sarah had something to do with Grace's attack and he remembered that she was wearing the same perfume that Christine had always worn that morning. It hadn't registered then because he was a little distracted but it had clicked when Grace mentioned smelling it. It worried him because Sarah had total access to his younger children. They were completely defenseless.

He left Grace and Matty with Maggie, Pastor John and Melody. He could tell it was doing Grace some good to talk to them and Matty was reading to Maggie. He was not in the least bit concerned about their safety because one of the deputy's was also there eating an early supper before work. Leaving them there also meant he would have a little time with Hannah; which was sorely needed after his faux paux that morning.

He pulled up to the school about five minutes before the dismissal bell rang and was waiting on Hannah when he saw Sarah walking up to him. She was the last person he wanted to talk to; but he also knew that her interest in him may be helpful in breaking open the case. He turned on the recorder on his phone and sit it in the seat next to him.

"Hey, given any more thought to my invitation?"

"Been a bit busy, sounds like something I might be interested in though. Grace had a rough day. She and I went back to the apartment and she remembered some stuff from the attack. Alec reinterviewed her this afternoon."

"Really, what'd she remember? Wonder why he didn't call me, it's against his own policy to have a male investigator on a case like her's?"

"Grace asked for him. I didn't want to argue with her. Alec and Maggie practically raised since she was fourteen. In a lot of ways; he's been more of a father to her than I have. I don't know what all she remembers. She didn't want me there."

"And you didn't push it?"

"Nah. She's an adult. She knows what she is doing."

"I still should have been there. It might have further traumatized her not having a female in the room. As a cop you would know that."

"Well, I'm not a cop in this situation. I'm her dad. Big difference there. Now back to your invitation. What exactly did you have planned? Anything I can bring? When?"

"Mmm. Bottle of wine. I like red. Tomorrow night at seven. Here are the directions and Mike?"

"Yeah"

"Make sure you have arrangements for the kids for the night and bring plenty of condoms. You'll need them."

Mike was just a bit shocked by her directness but acted the part when she leaned in to kiss him again. It was a hard kiss. She pulled away when she heard the bell rung, slipped a piece of paper into his shirt pocket and walked away. The slip of paper had the directions to her house, which was inconveniently close to his own. He slipped the piece of paper back into his pocket and shut the recorder off. He called Alec and told him about the conversation and that she might be calling him because he had conducted the interview. They were on the same page where Sarah was concerned and Alec would go along with everything Mike had told her. If they spoke; he would leak a bit of what Grace had told them, specifically about the perfume. He didn't like the idea of Mike being alone with her but also knew that Mike was more than capable of protecting himself. They hung up as Hannah was walking up. Mike immediately noticed the look on her face and knew something was wrong.

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing."

"Really, Hannah? If this is about this morning, I know I hurt you and I am…"

"It's not that."

"Okay?"

"I can't believe you! Mom has been gone for five years and I get that you're lonely and I know I told you it was okay to date; but really? Sarah? Why her? She's a bit…"

"Hannah Elizabeth Slattery! You mentioned that she was single. I took that as you were okay with her and me dating. You've even joked about it; and now suddenly you're mad? And cussing? You know that is a no go where I am concerned. I want to know why you are so against her all of a sudden."

Hannah had her arms crossed across her chest but Mike wasn't fooled because he could see the pain in her eyes. She was clearly scared of something and was using anger as a mask. He also saw the tear fall down her cheek which really worried him. He shut the truck off. They were not moving until she told him what was going wrong.

"There is this girl, Alex. She is like me. She went to the parties, drank, smoked weed. Daniel gave her some for school and her dad found it. It got destroyed and she was grounded. Her mom had died in the Red Flu and her dad didn't handle things well. He drank a lot. Anyway he met with the principal and Sarah. She opened up this whole investigation but nothing ever seemed to come of the investigation. Alex's dad and Sarah started dating and he went over to her house for dinner. He just didn't come back. On the way home; he had a car accident and died. Apparently he'd been drinking or something. It didn't make any sense because he had stopped drinking when Alex got in trouble. She lives with her grandma now. I'm afraid that if you start dating Sarah; the same thing will happen to you. Please don't date her, Daddy, please? I know I've been really horrible to you, but I don't want you to die. She'll kill you and I can't lose you."

Mike rubbed his hand over his face and then reached over and wiped the tears off Hannah's cheek. He nodded at her, started the truck and headed directly to the sheriff's office. The investigation had just blown sky high. He had texted Alec that they had more information and it was related to Sarah.


	20. Chapter 20

**Five Years Later**

Chapter 20

Hannah told Alec the same thing verbatim. He arranged for a meeting with Alex and her grandmother. Hannah agreed to go with him to smooth the way with Alex. Mike and Alec decided that baiting Sarah might be the best way to catch her in the act of whatever her weird game was, using Mike as the bait. Hannah didn't know all the specifics but Mike could tell that was very uncomfortable with the idea of Mike being alone with Sarah. Mike and Alec had a more private meeting and agreed that Mike would keep his dinner date with Sarah the next night and if necessary would have sex with her. Mike hated the thought and it would be hard to act it out but it might loosen Sarah up too. He just wasn't sure that he could do it.

Alec left with Hannah, promising to bring her home when they were done. He picked up Grace and Matty who had been with Maggie. Grace was completely oblivious to everything. Grace was especially tired and went straight to bed. It had been an exhausting day for her and seeing her so tired made his heart hurt. She was so tired that getting up the porch steps were too much and he finally gently just picked her up and carried her inside. Thankfully she didn't flinch away from him and when he sit her back on her own two feet; she gave him a kiss and headed straight to her bedroom. Matty was also wore out and so Mike gave him a quick bath and cuddled him until he fell asleep, not even bothering with the reading process. Matty's complete innocence was reassuring and something that Mike needed. For a reason that Mike couldn't figure out; he put Matty to bed in his own bed. He could have easily put him in the little boy's bed but there was something oddly comforting about him.

Alec brought Hannah home late; almost ten o'clock. Thankfully she didn't have any homework and went in for her shower. Mike knew that she was absolutely terrified of the idea of Mike having another more private dinner with Sarah. It was not something that he was in favor with and having sex with Sarah was not even appealing. Hannah didn't know about that part, and with luck she wouldn't. He would meet with Alec that next morning to go over the plan; and Alec was going to make his role a bit more official; deputizing him. Mike had thankfully kept his licensing as a cop up to date and once the Red Flu hit; he was grandfathered in, meaning he would always have the license without the continuing education.

When Hannah came out of the bathroom; he had a sandwich ready for her. The poor kid was almost sick with worry for Mike and he wasn't even sure she would be able to eat it without throwing it up. He folded laundry while she ate; staying mostly silent. As she got up to go to sleep; he pulled her into a massive hug. He could feel her shaking against him and could hear her crying.

"It's okay, honey. I'll be okay. She's one woman. I can handle her. I've dealt with worse."

"But not if she drugs you. You can't eat or drink anything there, Daddy. I know I've been really horrible but please don't eat or drink there. I'm afraid that something bad will happen if you do; and I don't want to lose you. I love you."

"I love you too. Now; please go in and go to sleep. You're exhausted and I'm not far behind you. I promise; I will do everything in my power to get back to you kids."

Hannah nodded at him but he was well aware that she would not sleep well that night. In all honesty; he wouldn't either. He kissed her on the forehead and she headed to her bedroom. As was his habit; he checked on Grace first, who was sleeping soundly. Hannah was in bed and asleep but tossing and turning; and Matty was sleeping like a baby in Mike's bed. Mike had locked up already and so he put his pajama pants and laid down next to Matty. It was like the little boy sensed Mike laying down next to him and immediately wrapped himself around Mike; holding onto him tightly. It didn't take him long to get to sleep but like Hannah; it was a fitful sleep. One particular dream was of a military funeral and Grace, Hannah and Matty sitting in the front row. Tom handed Matty the folded flag but the little boy didn't understand what it meant and handed it back. He heard him say; "I don't want that flag, I want my daddy back." It was a heartbreaking dream and made him pull Matty that much closer to him.

Mike was awake well before his alarm; and took a cup of coffee out to the dock. He needed time to think. Alec had worked through the night. Apparently Sarah had worked in three other communities and there were cases identical to Alex's and now Hannah's following her. She would find a troubled, motherless girl with a single father who had his own demons; she would get the girl involved in the drugs and alcohol scene and when the girl would get in trouble; she would counsel the girl. She would then develop a relationship with the father; inviting them over to dinner at her house. From there things got sketchy but it appeared that they would have sex and then she would drug them. One the way home; they would start feeling the effects of whatever drug she used and would be in a car accident; and they all mysteriously died from their injuries. Sarah would then counsel the girls, helping them because she felt they needed a positive female role model. She was essentially a serial killer. The Red Flu had hit and she somehow survived. There was no telling how many men she had killed and how she had used her role as a school resource officer to "counsel" the girls. Alec and Mike couldn't figure out how Daniel fit in but in following his history; he had basically shadowed Sarah through all the moves. Neither of them could figure out why Daniel had attacked Grace or why Sarah had let it happen; other than it was just a crime of opportunity.

Mike knew that in order to figure out what drug she used; he would end up having to drink and would also end up having sex with Sarah. It was just so unsavory and went against everything that he had always upheld. Alec knew he felt horribly about the whole situation and had no good advice for him.

"Look, I get this is not something you want to do. In your shoes; I wouldn't want to either. I get that you've been sober for the past week and it's been a hard fight and hopefully the wine won't have an effect on you. If it does; we will deal with it. As far as the sex is concerned, yeah it's not exactly what any man would want but you may very well stop her from killing anyone else. You may stop another girl from being orphaned. As disgusting as the sex might be; that might make it worth it. I wish I could tell you to enjoy but I know you won't. I guess just pretend it's someone that you actually like. It doesn't seem right to suggest your wife but…?"

"Yeah I know what you're saying. I'm gonna get the kids moving, and I guess go by the store and buy wine and condoms. She was pretty adamant about having plenty of them which is just odd. I am worried about Hannah being in school all day with her. She knows about the dinner but not the sex part. I would prefer she not ever know that part."

"One of my deputies is doing a career day at the school. He's been instructed to discreetly tail her. Make sure Sarah doesn't get near her. It's not foolproof but it would look odd if Hannah didn't go to school today. As far as the condoms are concerned…she must like you. In some of the information that I have recovered; she would tell the other victims that they would need 'a' condom; not plenty. Just trying to make you feel better there, buddy."

"Yeah, great, marathon sex with a serial killer. Just what I always wanted. Not!"

"I have never heard a man complain so much about having sex with a beautiful woman. I'm not asking but guessing it's been a long, dry spell for you and you're complaining?"

"Well Matty is almost six so do the math. Not that you wanted to know."

"And there was no one else when you couldn't find your family? It would be almost understandable."

"Nah…not my thing. 'Til death do us part and all that. And I didn't know for sure that Christine had died until about two months ago. I was not a good husband but I can honestly say I never looked elsewhere. Maybe that's why this feels so wrong. She would want me to be happy but I would want a relationship and stability. Aside from the fact that this is a serial killer; she wants casual sex and that just feels wrong. Like I'm cheating on Christine by not having a good relationship; just sex."

"Well when this is all said and done; I will tell Maggie and she will be setting you up on all kinds of blind dates with good women. Women that want more than just casual sex; when you're ready of course."

"Yeah, let me get back to you on that. It may be a while. I won't put my kids through that just yet. Hannah is not handling this stuff real well. She's terrified and if Grace knew what was happening; she would be too. Matty fortunately doesn't understand it. His only concern is that if I start dating; I won't spend time with him anymore."

"Well, Sarah is every bit as responsible for raping Grace as what Daniel is. She didn't actually perform the action but she did hold Grace down. If everything works as planned; it will be you putting the cuffs on her. She is a shame to law enforcement. I need to get going, but run by and get your commission card. We will be tap dancing on the law if you end up having sex with Sarah so I need you to at least be commissioned if this goes to court. I have a funny feeling it won't; but if it does…"

"Yeah gotcha. I honestly hate the idea of putting Grace or Hannah through a trial. I never thought I would be a cop again and now with these circumstances; it's just weird."

"Yeah, well if you want to make it a permanent thing; you would be an asset to my department."

"I'll get back to you on that. Right now; I just want to be a dad. I know it's stupid but…"

"I understand. See ya in a bit."

When Mike got inside all three kids was up and dressed and eating breakfast. Hannah looked horrible, Grace was in considerable pain but Matty was his bright, effervescent self. He kept both girls laughing at least. As soon as she finished eating; Grace laid down on the couch and was immediately asleep. Her one focus at that point was Ryan coming home. Mike covered her with a blanket, kissed her on the cheek and headed Hannah and Matty to school. Alec had the foresight to alert the principal at the elementary that there was the potential of danger where he was concerned and he would be watched closely. He had dropped Hannah off already and had immediately noticed the deputy standing at the front door. He was one that Hannah knew well and she brightened up when she saw him. He nodded towards Mike and Mike felt slightly more at ease then.

He ran by the sheriff's office and spoke with Alec; getting the rundown on what would happen. Alec and a group of his deputies would be close by while Mike was in the house. Once, he got there they weren't sure what the plan would be other than texting Alec when he was sitting down for supper. Mike could make the arrest at any point. He would keep his cellphone close by and would essentially lead Sarah into a conversation and record the whole thing.

He ran by the store and got the requested red wine and a box of condoms. He had no intentions of using them but they would be there for show. It made him feel like a teenager again and so he wisely went through the self-checkout with the condoms. He didn't want the looks that he knew it would cause.

He headed home due to being worried about Grace. Alec was keeping in contact with both the principal at the elementary and the deputy that was with Hannah. The high school principal was keeping Sarah in meetings in order to keep her completely away from Hannah. Grace was still sleeping soundly when he got home. It was beginning to worry him; but when he called the surgeon's office they told him it was normal. It didn't stop him for worrying about her though.


	21. Chapter 21

**Okay, a whole lot of innuendo in this chapter.**

 **Five Years Later**

Chapter 21

Despite being in meetings, Sarah texted Mike throughout the day. He didn't embarrass easily but some of what she was saying had him blushing but he played along with it. Grace had only woke up to go to the bathroom and eat. She knew Mike was going out that night with Sarah but didn't know any details. Hannah had agreed not to tell anyone what was going on. He did have to promise Grace that he would not be drinking any of the wine. She went back to sleep soon afterwards giving him the opportunity to concentrate on the texts from Sarah. He had to respond realistically.

" _So how many condoms did you get?"_

 _"A good sized box. It's been a lot of years for me so don't have high expectations. I may not hold out so well."_

 _"Well, I will make it worth your while. What type of lingerie do I need to wear?"_

 _"I like simple."_

 _"Not fun. I like complicated. I love the frustration it causes when a guy can't figure out how to get it off me."_

 _"Well alright then. That sounds interesting. You sound experienced in that particular…experience?"_

 _"We all have our preferences. Any others that I need to be aware of where you're concerned?"_

 _"I like it rough."_

 _"Good deal. You know, I can probably cut out of work early. Surely the kids will be okay?"_

 _"My kids?"_

 _"Yeah. Grace can handle them."_

 _"Yeah I already told her I wouldn't be back until the early morning hours. She has Hannah to help her with Matty."_

 _"Yeah. Do you have any relatives that you send Hannah and Matty to? I know Grace is practically married to the Smith boy and it's going to be aggravating to have to constantly find a baby sitter when she gets married and you and I…need some private time."_

 _"No relatives. And they are still my priority. Sorry."_

It infuriated him, her thinking that he would be willing to send his beloved kids away just so they could have sex. He had no idea how long it would take him that night but he never planned on spending another night apart from them; at least until they grew up. It motivated him to do what he needed to do that night; no matter how much he disliked it.

 _"That's a shame."_

 _"That I don't have any other relatives or that they are my priority? Sorry if it makes you mad."_

 _"I don't really like kids that well."_

 _"But you work with them every day?"_

 _"Yeah; it's a good job. Monday through Friday; day shift. And the added bonus of getting to meet a lot of really hot men; like yourself."_

 _"Not sure about all that. I love kids; especially my own."_

 _"Yeah, its sweet I suppose. So the last time you had sex; was when Matty was conceived?"_

 _"Yeah. Little sad, huh?"_

 _"I couldn't go that long. Surely there were opportunities?"_

 _"Oh yeah. Plenty. Just never felt right. When we brought the cure home; people were desperate and women would throw themselves at the male officers to just have a roof over their heads and food. Comfortable bed for the night."_

 _"Sounds interesting. You never thought about it?"_

 _"No. I took my wedding vows seriously and I didn't know if my wife was dead so having sex with a random girl was a no go"_

 _"Well I'm glad you are not taking those vows so seriously now that she's dead. I don't believe in closed relationships. It's boring."_

 _"I never felt bored. When I was home; Christine and I had a great relationship in every way. Sex was amazing."_

 _"Yes but you were gone a lot. I bet your homecomings were interesting. What'd you do with your kids then?"_

 _"We were quiet. And we had a lot of quickies. Kids working on homework in the dining room while she and I were in the laundry room, against the dryer. Door locks were imperative."_

 _"Not very satisfying though?"_

 _"I always loved it. It worked for us. We were married for fifteen years. The sex was never the problem. Me being gone was the problem."_

 _"Well, I don't mind quickies and up against a dryer sounds interesting. Explains you liking things rough."_

 _"I suppose. Gracie just woke up and she is hurting pretty badly so I need to tend to her. I'll see you tonight."_

 _"Well conserve some energy for me. She's a big girl; she can handle the pain. She brought it on herself."_

Mike wanted to ask her what she meant but decided to wait until that night. He was so mad; he was literally seeing red. He screenshot the entire conversation and messaged it to Alec; who become equally mad. No rape victim deserved what happened to them and Grace's attack had been particularly violent. Mike refused to read the report of the rape kit but Alec had told him there was a lot of trauma. She would also have to undergo tests to make sure that she hadn't contracted an STD and there was also a pregnancy concern. Her head injury could cause her lifelong issues too. Not to mention the collarbone and fractured wrist. It was obvious that Sarah was trying to instigate him and his weak point was his kids; especially Grace.

She hadn't really woke up when he told Sarah she had. He just couldn't handle the texts anymore. Mike sit down in the recliner and watched her sleep. Her face and neck were still bruised, and her head was wrapped tightly with bandages and then a scarf over it. The collarbone and ribs caused her severe pain. Even in her sleep; she would moan in pain. She also had had a couple migraines already and the nightmares were horrific. There were still times that she would flinch away from Mike and it broke his heart every single time. It was hard enough as her father to deal with; he wasn't sure how Ryan would deal with it.

When Grace finally woke; she immediately vomited. Mike didn't get the trash can to her quickly enough and ended up with it all over him. It was because of the pain medicine but it caused her even more pain because of the ribs. She had cried so little in front of him; that watching her sob was excruciating. She was embarrassed and needed help getting cleaned up but didn't want Mike to help her. Fortunately; one of the deputies and his wife showed up with a casserole and the wife, Abby, immediately headed her for the bathroom. Mike quickly changed clothes and visited with the deputy.

Mike knew Grace was trying to put on a good front for her visitors; and it would have been convincing other than she was pale and Mike knew her better than that. The deputy and his wife didn't stay long thankfully and Grace almost fell asleep in her dining room chair. Mike helped her back to the couch and rubbed her back until she fell asleep; much like he had down when she was little and he still did with Matty. She didn't seem to mind him touching her and it seemed to relax her.

Grace having such a rough day was only infuriating him that much more where Sarah was concerned. Maggie was planning on staying with the kids while Mike was at Sarah's house; and a deputy would also be very close by. He wasn't worried about the kid's safety; just Grace's physical issues and Hannah's sanity. He had stayed next to the couch; kneeling and rubbing Grace's back long after she had fallen asleep. Listening to her moan anytime she tried to breathe deeply; Mike decided he would do whatever it took to put Sarah behind bars. He didn't like the idea of having sex with her but would if it meant that she would pay for what had happened to his baby. And he would be coming home to all three of his babies at the end of the night.

He finally had to wake Grace up to let her know he was going to go get Hannah and Matty. He was uncomfortable with her being by herself but she promised to stay on the couch and not answer the locked doors. He got her drawing pad and pencils for her and covered her with a blanket. She did tell him that she had a bit of a headache and felt dizzy. It was all normal reactions but it still hurt to see her in such pain. Ryan had gotten his phone and they started messaging back and forth and Mike could see her brighten up a bit. That made him feel slightly better.

Picking up Hannah and Matty went without a problem and thankfully Sarah was nowhere around. Hannah told him that she hadn't seen her anywhere around all day either. He ran by the store with the kids and got a few needed groceries and the ingredients for root beer floats. Matty's first ballgame was the next morning and so as soon as they got home Mike took him out and played catch with him. It was relaxing and fun for both of him and Matty had a good arm. Mike was going to be helping coach his team and Matty was beyond excited.

After supper; Mike spent a little time with both his girls. Grace was still pretty oblivious as to what was going on other than that Mike was having dinner with Sarah and Maggie was staying with them since she didn't feel good. Hannah was a ball of nerves and he made a point to hug her tightly. The poor kid blamed herself for everything and Mike knew that if something happened to him; it would absolutely destroy her.

Maggie and Alec showed up about six and Mike hugged, kissed and told all three kids that he loved them and would be home by morning. Grace and Matty took it at face value but Hannah understood more of what would be going on and was near tears. Maggie pulled the young girl into a hug and nodded at Mike. He knew that they would be well taken care of.

Mike climbed in his truck and Alec followed him to about a mile before they got to Sarah's house. Mike couldn't even carry a gun. His plan was that he would try and get Sarah to eat dinner because he didn't particularly want to sleep with her. Through dinner he would work her; trying to get some sort of confession out of her. Her comment about Grace that morning actually would work to his advantage. He had texted her that he was almost there and asked if she needed anything else.

 _"Nope just yourself. Looking forward to it."_

 _"Yeah me too. And I do have those two items that you asked for."_

 _"Good. We will put both items to good use."_

Mike screenshot the exchange and sent it to Alec. He was planning on keeping his phone in his shirt pocket with the hidden recorder turned on and would use the excuse that Grace was having a really rough day and he might need to go home early. It was not characteristic of him; but he was feeling especially nervous. Pulling up to her house; which was approximately two miles from her own; he was shocked that it looked normal. It was a one story cottage type house. Painted a creamy yellow with white trim and shutters. There was a white picket fence with roses climbing all over them. It was not as big as his house but it was charming. It even had a red front door. It swung open and Sarah stepped out on the front porch, wearing a black, silky robe and apparently nothing else. She was wearing a lot more make up then she normally did and her hair was loose around her shoulders. As soon as he came up on the porch; she pulled him into a passionate kiss. All he could focus on was the perfume she was wearing. It was exactly the same as what Christine wore and his mind was immediately filled with memories of her. It was also the same one that Grace had described smelling the night she was raped.


	22. Chapter 22

**Five Years Later**

Chapter 22

"So I am particularly hungry. Can we eat first?" Mike asked Sarah between kisses. He had worked undercover before but this was a lot harder and Sarah was wearing nothing under that robe. She was definitely not shy at all and he was not in the least bit turned on. He backed away from her and sit down on one of the kitchen barstools.

"Don't want dessert first?"

"Nah. I didn't eat much today. Cleaned up vomit from Grace all day. Doesn't do much for the appetite."

"What was her problem? Little old not to be cleaning after herself. Had to have her daddy do it for her?"

"I didn't mind. Pain meds are doing a number on her stomach."

"Why is she on pain meds?"

"Well if you don't remember; she was attacked a week ago. Numerous broken bones, head injury, busted ear drum and she was brutally raped. You went with her to the hospital."

"Yeah, yeah but she needs pain medication for that?"

"Yeah; she's in a lot of pain. It's hard to watch."

"Wouldn't bother me."

"Well she's my baby girl and it hurts to see her like this."

"Your baby girl needs to toughen up. She's what, almost twenty and needs her dad to clean up puke for her?"

"It doesn't matter how old she is; she needs help and I'm what she has. I've neglected her too much as it is; I won't while she needs help, love and support."

"Just think it's a bit sad. She's spent the last five years taking care of two kids and working and now all of a sudden; she can't do anything for herself? I think she is taking advantage of you."

"When you have a kid, it's a lifelong commitment. Doesn't end when the kid turns eighteen. I have never regretted making that commitment. I'm biased but I think my kids are amazing people. And Grace did a phenomenal job with Hannah and Matty. Personal opinion of course."

"And yet, Hannah ended up in trouble and flunking out of school?"

"Yeah, I didn't say she had an easy time with it. Besides raising a fourteen year old girl is not for the faint of heart. It's shocking the things they can get into. Drugs, alcohol, sex…it's just scary. And sometimes the adults that are supposed to be there to help them; hinder them."

"Well sometimes the bad kids need to be culled out."

"How does one cull a bad kid out?"

"Take away their enablers. Once that is done; you knock the kid to their knees and they lose their spirit. Then they don't want to get in trouble anymore."

"And their enablers are?"

"Well, generally with girls like Hannah; it's their father. You called Grace your baby girl earlier; and that is exactly the mentality that corrupts kids like Hannah. They think they have unconditional love no matter what they do. It screws them up for life."

"Or makes them stronger? Everyone deserves at least two people in their life that will love them unconditionally, no matter how big their screw up is. Typically it's a kid's mom and dad. My kids are at a disadvantage because they don't have their mom anymore; but I can make up for it. As far as enabling them, no. I'm setting them up for a better life than what I've had. My own dad was not that great and from the second I found out I was going to be a father; I was determined to be better. I've failed miserably at being there when they needed me; but they will never doubt that I love them unconditionally."

"Mark my words, you will regret it later. Now let's eat because I want to get down to business. Care if I take this robe off?"

"Let's wait until after dinner and I will take it off for you. It'll be worth waiting for, I promise."

"If you say so. Here I barely have anything on and you're fully clothed. You modest? All those years in the Navy; I bet you've built some muscles?"

"Yeah. I enjoy working out."

"I enjoy a different sort of work out and it's not the sort that the gym prepares you for. Whole different muscle group."

"I enjoy that type of work out too."

"I bet. Dinner is ready. Want to wash up?"

"Yeah, where is your bathroom?"

"Use my bathroom. Bedroom is first door on your left down that hallway. You'll see the bathroom."

"Okay thanks."

Mike knew that she was putting whatever drug in his food or drink and it gave him a chance to scope the bedroom. It was bright and sunny. The bedframe was an antique wrought iron. Her bed was already turned down and when he looked at her dresser there was a single bottle of perfume. The same type that he had gotten Christine for every birthday, anniversary and Christmas for almost twenty years. It was the only gift that she would tell him that she wanted even when they were dating and it just sort of become a habit. He had gotten her jewelry, flowers and other things over the years; but she always got excited about the perfume. It made him mad at Sarah for wearing the same perfume; because it was such a beautiful memory of Christine.

The bathroom was pretty standard for any woman. Makeup and hair stuff on the counter. He looked in her medicine cabinet and found her birth control. He quickly washed his hands and sent a quick message to Alec that things were progressing and he was working towards a confession. He also sent Hannah a message that he was okay and that he loved her. He would have texted Grace too but she was so out of it all day and was oblivious to what he was doing. He needed Hannah to know that he was okay. He really wanted to be back home before the kids went to sleep but he also didn't want to push for a confession. He did have a pair of handcuffs in his blazer pocket for when he arrested her. He flushed the toilet, turned the phone recorder on and headed back to the kitchen where Sarah had the table set.

"Everything okay? You were in there for a bit."

"Yeah; wanted to call and check on Grace and talk to Matty before he went to sleep."

"Well here's the thing. When you're with me; I don't want you to even think about those brats."

"Like I said; I'm biased and it's a lifelong commitment. And part of that is checking on my injured daughter and saying good night to my five year old."

"Well Grace brought her injuries on herself."

"You said that earlier today too and I don't understand it. What'd she do?" They had sat down at the table, across from each other and she immediately stuck her foot on his lap and was running it up and down his thigh. It was distracting but not the turn on she thought it was.

"She was distracted that night, painting. If she hadn't been she would have heard us coming up behind her. She made it too easy."

"Did she say that in her statement? I didn't think she could remember that much at the hospital."

"She didn't say anything at the hospital. Just that everything was foggy."

"So how do you know that she was snuck up on…unless you were there you would have not known that she was painting? I saw the scene; it wasn't obvious."

"We came up the back entrance and the lock was faulty. She had her back turned and Daniel grabbed her from behind. It was easy."

"Why?"

"Because Hannah is a horrible little girl and Daniel really wanted her but Grace was convenient. And now Hannah will have to live with what happened to Grace for the rest of her life. If she hadn't changed her mind and smoked up all that marijuana; things would be perfect. But instead she cry babied to you and screwed up everything. Alex, Emma, Ellie and numerous others didn't screw things up like she did. And I took their dads away because of how horrible they were. But Hannah is still going to lose you. You won't be making it home tonight or ever. Tell me; how does that chicken taste? I've put enough meth in it to kill an elephant."

"You've been so busy spilling your guts to notice, I haven't ate it. Now how does it feel to be under arrest?" Sarah had her hands around her wineglass and Mike caught her wrists and slapped the cuff around one wrist. He went around the table and grabbed her other arm and pulled them both around the back of her chair, cuffing her to the chair. She was stunned and silent. He called Alec and within about a minute several of the sheriff's department staff came through the door. Sarah still hadn't said a word. And Mike was done; he didn't care if he ever said another word to Sarah.

"Sheriff, I know you will need me back to the office to do a report but do you care if I run by my house first; check on the kids?"

"Not in the least, Deputy Slattery."

Sarah's jaw had dropped but Mike didn't care; all he cared about was checking on his kids. He would be able to tuck Matty in. It had happened faster than he thought possible but was glad. Everything had been recorded; not only by Mike's cellphone but by a small recorder that had been hidden when the Alec and his deputies served a search warrant on Sarah's house while she was at work. Everything was completely legal and Sarah would not be seeing the light of day.

When Mike walked into his house; Maggie and Grace were giving Matty his bath and he promised him that he would tuck him in after he talked to Hannah who was sitting on the dock edge. Maggie told him that she had been sitting there since he had left. It was cool and so Mike grabbed one of his sweatshirts for her. Her cellphone was sitting on her dresser and so she hadn't gotten his message.

Mike walked up beside her and saw the tears on her cheeks and because her eyes were red rimmed; she had been crying for a long while. She was looking towards the pond and didn't see him until he draped the sweatshirt over her and sit down next to her.

"I got a full confession. Never took a bite of the food or drank anything or slept with her. She admitted to putting methamphetamines in the chicken. Hannah; she has murdered numerous men. It's pretty convoluted and I will save you from the details but we couldn't have done it without your help. You saved a lot of lives, including my own. You have no idea how proud that I am of you; I was before all this but I am even more so now."

"But I still got Grace hurt because I got involved in it and you could have been hurt too. How are either of you ever going to forgive me?"

"Honey; you were the target. Grace only was attacked because she was there. If you had been, it would have been you. Sarah's pattern was that she would start working at a school, find the already troubled girls that didn't have mothers; just a single, equally troubled father. She and Daniel would get the girl hooked into the drug and alcohol scene and then when the girl got in trouble; Sarah would work with the father to get his daughter out of trouble and they would start dating. She would invite him to her house for dinner, they'd have sex, and the dinner would be drugged. He would not make it home due to overdosing and wrecking his vehicle on the way home. Then she would 'counsel' the girl but what she was really doing was breaking the girls down. Her theory was that she would stop the girl from getting in any further trouble but it was actually the reverse because that would be about the time that Daniel would draw them into the prostitution scene. I haven't quite figured it out because I wasn't really a part of your life when this all started but you burning that marijuana and doing better really was a catalyst for both her and Daniel. As far as Grace forgiving you; it's something the two of you are going to have to work out but I don't think she will hold any of this against you. Especially when she finds out that without you, we would have not captured her rapist or a serial killer. It was you that fit the pieces together when you told me about Alex. Alec and I couldn't wrap our heads around it until then."

"And you?"

"I love you. I have nothing to forgive you for. It's me that needs forgiven."

"I don't understand."

"You would have not been in the situation if I was here. I've neglected you kids so much. Wasn't here when you needed me. Could have been more…loving. A thousand different things."

"It might not have mattered. Those other girls still lost their dads even though they were there the whole time. It's all confusing. As far as not being here; you are now. We know what you were doing and you saved millions of lives. One of the reasons why I changed when you got back was I wanted to be worth loving. I knew you did anyways and I knew you were proud but I wanted you to be proud for a reason. Not sure if all this is a good enough reason though. I love you too by the way."

"Well I never needed a reason. From the second you were born; I've been proud. This is all just one more thing. Your integrity, the way you stand up for the innocent, the grieving; I'm proud of that. Now, I am going to go back in and tuck Matty in and then I have to go into town and write out the reports I need to. Once I am done with Matty's game tomorrow; I think we should go bowling. I may need to bring your brother and sister with us but they can be on their own team. You and I can team up against them."

"Sounds like fun. When is Ryan supposed to be home?"

"I need to call and find out but I am keeping it from your sister and the Smith's. Want it to be a surprise. Just don't tell Matty; he hasn't figured out the meaning of a secret yet. He's a little loose with information.

Hannah let out a huge laugh and they both stood up. Mike threw his arm around her and kissed her on top of the head and they walked arm and arm back to the house. Maggie had a plate of food waiting for him once he got Matty to sleep and Hannah made a joke that it didn't have any meth in it. He was glad she could joke about it now, it was better than tears.

After getting Matty to sleep and hugging and kissing both girls he headed back to town, with the plate in hand. Maggie was going to stay with the kids until he got back. It had been a lot of years since he had written a police report and he was going to need some help.


	23. Chapter 23

**Five Years Later**

Chapter 23

Sarah wouldn't talk without an attorney but Daniel had started talking. He named victims, places, the whole nine yards. Alec had put Sarah on a suicide watch and was going to move her to another jail so that his own jailers wouldn't have to deal with her. With Daniel's testimony there was a good possibility that neither Hannah or Grace would have to testify.

Alec had sit Mike in Grace's office and had a template ready for the report. He loved hearing all the chatter about drug cases and a hilarious DWI that one of the deputies had worked. It reminded him of his days of a cop and he ended up telling a few of his own stories. While he was writing the report; he got a text from Tom. They would be bringing Ryan home Sunday afternoon. They would make all the arrangements the next day.

Alec had brought up Mike working as a deputy again. He needed someone with Mike's experience and knowledge. Mike finally just told him that he would think about a reserve position. All he wanted was to concentrate on being a dad. He didn't need a job but having something other than his kids might be a good thing and he was definitely not ready to date; or at least didn't feel he was.

He finally finished the report and headed home a little after midnight. Alec would call him once a warrant had been issued for Sarah. They would be pushing for her to not to have a bond and Alec was coordinating with the other sheriffs in other counties to get charges on her filed there. At best count; she had murdered at least a dozen men. It had been going on for years; well before the Red Flu.

When he got home; the kids were all sleeping and Maggie was ready to go home. She and Alec were going to be coming to Matty's ballgame and so she headed home. Mike looked in at all three of the kids and was thrilled to see that they were all sleeping soundly; especially Hannah. He locked up and headed to bed; absolutely exhausted.

He slept hard until he felt Matty get into bed with him. It was thundering and Matty was scared. It made him happy that Matty had started seeking him out when he needed comforted. It wasn't that Mike minded him going to his sister's but he loved being able to be the one that Matty wanted when he was scared.

Grace was having another rough day and was in significant pain but was insistent that she go to Matty's ballgame. Maggie would keep a close eye on her at the game while Mike was coaching and Hannah would be close by. When Mike told Grace that he was wanting a family day but would cancel because of her not feeling well; she decided that she would try and feel better.

The ballgame was fun. All the kids had a chance to pitch and hit the ball. And play in the dirt. By the time it was all said and done; Mike had to give Matty a bath before they went bowling. He was a mess but was talking a mile a minute about hitting and catching the ball. While Mike was getting Matty cleaned up; Grace took a short nap. She would also be sleeping on the way to their outing. Mike had stopped and got her Explorer the day before it because it was a bit easier for her to get in and out of and Alec had brought his truck out the night before.

They loaded up and headed to the city. Grace sit with Matty in the back seat and slept part of the way. Car trips with Matty were pretty interesting and he and Hannah ended up singing along to the radio; which was horrible and only got worse when Mike joined in.

Mike and Hannah ended up on opposing teams because they were both so competitive and Grace needed help. He ended up on her team and Hannah and Matty were teamed up. It was a lot of fun and they all laughed. There was no clear cut winner because Matty ended up with more gutter balls than anything else and Mike ended up bowling half of Grace's game.

After bowling; they went out for pizza. Alec texted Mike that they had gotten the warrant down on Sarah and there were going to be investigators from numerous other counties coming in the next week. She still refused to talk but fortunately Daniel had no qualms especially once Sarah was moved to another jail.

They also went by the mall and got Hannah a few more appropriate outfits and a pair of shoes for Matty. Mike would have been happy to prolong the day but Grace was not handling the mall crowd well and was in obvious pain and so they headed home. She had enjoyed their day out and hated that she was the cause of them going home early but Mike didn't want her to stretch herself too thin. She was going to have a big day the next day; she just didn't realize it.

Tom was going to bring Ryan to Mike's house and so Mike invited Maggie and Alec for dinner after church as a thank you for all that they had done. It was an easy explanation that Grace wouldn't question too much. He quietly told Hannah so that she could help him with everything. Supper would be around four and Tom, Russ and Ryan showing up about four thirty.

Grace hit the couch almost as soon as they got home and immediately fell asleep; not staying awake long enough to even cover herself with a blanket. She and Hannah had talked at length and Mike was relieved that they were getting along well. Grace didn't blame Hannah for anything and was just as proud of her as Mike was. Mike could tell it had helped Hannah feel better about the entire situation.

Mike ended up cuddled up in the recliner with Matty. Hannah was on the opposite end of the couch from Grace and was working on some homework. Grace was still sound asleep. It had been one of the best days that Mike had had in a long time; and the next day would only be better. Mike was not sure how he would handle being in church as he hadn't been in several years but it was something all three of the kids seemed to look forward to and Mike didn't want to disappoint them.

It had rained off and on all evening and Matty begged to sleep in Mike's bed. It didn't take a lot of convincing. Grace stayed awake long enough for Mike to help her with the bandages on her head and for Hannah to help her with the ones on her chest and stomach and went to bed early. Mike hoped that she would have a better day the next day. Hannah headed to bed soon after and so he locked up and curled up next to Matty. The little boy immediately realized that Mike was next to him and bear hugged him. It was in moments like that that Mike missed Lucas most. He had also missing Christine. She was missing out on so much and it bothered him that she had never had the opportunity to hold Matty. He couldn't change it but he could make a point to hold the little guy anytime he wanted. He would hold him to make up for Christine not being able to.

About five there was a particularly loud clap of thunder and Matty woke up crying. Mike pulled him onto his chest and kept his arms around him; rocking him back and forth.

"I love you, Daddy."

"I love you too; Matty. Now let's try and get some sleep. You're safe."

"I know, Daddy."

For some reason, Matty's simple words were a huge comfort to Mike. He hadn't been very successful in keeping his kids safe and he definitely couldn't stop a thunderstorm from scaring Matty but at least he felt safe in his daddy's arms. That was a huge consolation to Mike.

Mike never completely went back to sleep because he was savoring the moment he had with Matty. It did make him miss Lucas and wish that Christine was beside him but there was nothing he could do about that.

The girls started moving around about seven and so Mike woke Matty up. Mornings were still interesting at best but all three of the kids were excited about going to church. Mike showered and shaved and put a roast in the crockpot. Alec had done a press conference the day before about Sarah's arrest and Mike ended up taking the house phone off the hook so the kid's weren't bothered with it. Tom's office had also been fielding requests for an interview but Tom told them that he was out of touch with Mike and would not reach out and disturb him.

Grace was fortunately feeling much better and was thrilled because she was starting to grow some hair back. It would take a long time for it to be the length that it had been but it was a gain for her. She would be going later in the week to get her stitches out. She was still completely resistant to seeing a counselor or going to a peer support group because she didn't want to constantly dwell on what had happened. The people that had hurt her were behind bars and that was all she needed. It made Mike nervous for her but she was an adult; and was capable of making her own decisions.

The church service was nice and Mike actually thoroughly enjoyed it. Matty made a point to introduce Mike to his Children's Pastor, Polly. Mike could tell Matty really liked Polly and was beginning to wonder if the little boy was not trying to play matchmaker. Polly was very sweet and had a natural way with kids. The girls both seemed to like her as well. She was in her mid-thirties, widowed and had a son and daughter, Max and Gabby. Max was Matty's age and Gabby was a baby; about six months old. Her husband had been killed in a car accident before Gabby was born. Max was on Matty's ball team and Polly agreed to help with the snacks for the team.

Matty decided that the next Friday night; Max would stay the night and Mike would help him with his pitching because Polly wasn't good at baseball. He also mentioned something to Mike about having Polly and Gabby over for supper and that Gabby wouldn't eat much. Hannah and Grace both started laughing hysterically because it was pretty obvious what Matty was doing. Despite his better judgement, Mike extended an invitation to the family. The girls both grinned at each other and decided to help Matty out. They both really liked Polly and she was a vast improvement over Sarah. They would never tell Mike but Polly reminded them both of their mother. They also knew that Maggie would help them out because Maggie and Polly were sisters.

Mike had told Grace that Alec and Maggie were coming for dinner. He just neglected to tell her that there were three other guests coming. Grace was questioning the amount of food that he was fixing but had chosen not to say anything. Both girls had taken to teasing Mike unmercifully about inviting Polly and her kids over for supper. It was a good afternoon and when Mike wasn't cooking; he was helping Hannah with her homework. Grace ended up napping on the couch. Tom had forewarned Ryan that Grace looked pretty rough so there wouldn't be a negative reaction to her appearance. From what Tom had told Mike; Ryan had his fair share of bruises so he didn't think it would be a problem.


	24. Chapter 24

**Five Years Later**

Chapter 24

Maggie and Alec had been there for about five minutes when Mike heard more car doors closing. It was Tom, Russ and Ryan. Ryan definitely looked rough. Beat up, bruised and on crutches. Mike really didn't have a plan once Ryan got there and so he quietly stepped out on the front porch to greet him. The kids were visiting with Maggie and Alec and so no one had noticed anything out of the ordinary. Ryan's body language gave away how nervous he was and Mike wanted to put him at ease because Mike didn't want Grace to confuse the nervousness as a rejection towards her.

"Afternoon, son. Glad to see you on your feet. There are at least three people inside who will be thrilled to see you. Let's get you up those steps." Between Mike, Tom and Russ they got Ryan onto the porch.

"Yes sir, it's an honor to meet you, sir. I've heard a lot about you; not only from Grace but since I've been in the Navy…"

"Yea, enough of that. I'm retired now and my only concern is my kids. You need to concentrate on the fact that you are dating my daughter and I am very overprotective of her. I am thankful you're home and for your sacrifices. But Grace is who I want you to concentrate on. And; just FYI; I don't think you'll hurt her but if you do, you'll wish you had never met me. Clear?"

"Crystal, sir. I won't be hurting her. I want to ask you for her hand…"

"Yeah, you got my blessing. My only request if you push her to take some college classes. I want her to have something of her own. I made that mistake with her mom. I didn't let her be her own person; just the Navy wife and now Grace is following in her mom's footsteps and so the most I can do is tell you that she needs an identity aside from being your wife and eventually the mother of your kids. That works for a lot of military spouses but it didn't for my wife and it won't for my daughter. Now let's get inside; see your parents and your girlfriend. And drop the sir; it's just Mike now."

"Yes, Admiral Slattery."

Both Tom and Russ were stifling laughter. Ryan was intimidated by Mike and it was hilarious. They both thought poor Ryan was going to stroke out during the car ride. As Mike opened the front door and helped Ryan in, they could hear hollering and laughter. Alec and Maggie both ran up to Ryan and locked him in a hug but Grace hung back, chewing on her bottom lip until it was almost bloody. Mike ushered Hannah and Matty outside and Tom and Russ followed; leaving Grace with Maggie, Alec and Ryan.

Maggie and Alec came outside after about five minutes. They both felt Grace and Ryan needed some together alone. As much as they wanted spend time with their son; Grace needed it more. Tom gave them a brief rundown of what had happened and Ryan's health concerns. He had a couple broken ribs, his knee was badly mangled, there were cigar burns on various parts of his body that would bare watching, and numerous bruises. He had been through hell. Tom gave them information regarding PTSD and how to go about getting help. The Navy would require him to speak to a counselor and it would be at least six months before he was fit for duty. They were saddened by everything but were prepared to help their son.

Hugging was interesting for both Grace and Ryan on account of both of them having broken ribs, him being on crutches and her left arm in a sling. She wasn't afraid of him touching her and they sit on the couch holding hands and talking. They had been good friends for a long time before they started "dating" and that meant a lot. They both agreed that while talking about what had happened to them would be good; it wasn't the right time. He assured her that while her assault bothered him; he could get past it and her being raped would not change how he felt about her. They would talk more when they had some time truly to themselves. Neither could drive at that point and they were both reliant on their parents for even basic care. They were still "dating" but decided to curb the marriage talk for at least six months.

Everyone finally came inside because Mike needed to check on dinner. There was quite a bit of teasing about wedding plans but all three parents were happy when Ryan and Grace said they were going to wait at least six months before they even started to think about marriage. Mike, Alec and Maggie were thrilled with the idea of them getting married but also thrilled with the idea of waiting. It would give them a chance to recover together. Ryan was fairly quiet; only interacting some with his parents, Grace and the kids. Part of the quietness was coming from being intimidated by Mike, Tom and Russ; but he had also been through hell.

Despite Ryan's quietness; dinner was full of laughter and teasing, mostly at Mike's expense. It did relax Ryan just a bit and he even joined in a little. Mike immediately noticed how haunted he seemed. He wasn't surprised by it and knew that he would end up helping Ryan too. Grace was almost bubbly with Ryan there and it reminded Mike of the daughter that he had left behind six years beforehand. When she laughed; which had been a rare sound since her attack; her eyes smiled. Normally Mike would have been sickened at the sight of "young love" but seeing his daughter happy made him happy. He was also impressed with the way that Ryan interacted with Hannah and Matty. Both kids were completely comfortable with him and they seemed to have a lot of inside jokes.

They all sit around the dining room table talking and laughing. Matty had sit down on Mike's lap to free up a chair and ended up falling asleep. Ryan and Grace were both losing steam too and so Alec and Maggie decided it was time to take him home. Russ and Tom also went on their way, after telling Ryan to call if there were any problems or if he needed anything. They would also be staying in touch with him. Mike had laid Matty down on his bed; Hannah headed to her own room to give Ryan and Grace a moment to themselves. Mike had walked his guests out and was talking so to give them privacy. Alec had a full week ahead of him concerning the investigation of Sarah's multiple homicides and some of it would include Mike. Maggie decided that on the days that Mike would be busy with the investigation; he would bring Grace with him so she and Ryan could spend time together.

Ryan had trouble with the steps on Mike's porch and it took both Mike and Alec to guide him down them. They seemed to put a lot of pressure on his bad knee. Mike could tell he was trying to tough it out but it was hard. The young man had already earned Mike's respect which normally would have been nearly impossible. He helped him into the Smith's car and assured Alec that he would be at the office at nine.

When Mike went inside Grace was trying to unsuccessfully wash dishes and so he took over after sitting her at the island. She had brightened up a lot with Ryan there but he could tell that something was bothering her.

"You okay? Seem off. Is it the waiting to get married?"

"No, I'm good with that. We both agreed that rushing to get married wouldn't be beneficial for either of us. He really wants me to start taking some classes but I'm not sure that I can. I can't even help Hannah with her homework. How am I capable of college classes? I'm just stupid."

"Whoa. You aren't stupid. You always got straight A's. I know Ryan didn't say anything about you being stupid so that's all your thinking. It's my fault that you didn't get to finish school and I fully intend on helping you get ready for college. But it's something that you have to want for yourself. I desperately want you to take some classes and I think Ryan shares that but it has to be what you want and we can't pressure you. We can only help you. I want you to have something totally of your own. I made that mistake with your mom. Everything that she did was something we shared. She was an amazing wife and mother but her confidence in herself was not good. She had a college degree but didn't use it because it was hard for her to get a job due to our frequent moves so she become a stay at home mom. At first it was great and I know she loved her time with you kids but she didn't have an identity separate from my own. That is not a road that I want my own daughter going down. And I truly think Ryan agrees. Once you get married, college courses will take a back burner even if you stay here when he deploys. You'll have work and eventually kids of your own, I'm assuming. I don't want you to be sitting here twenty years from now with the same confidence issues your mom had. She ended up resenting me and it would be natural for you to start resenting Ryan. Doesn't mean you don't love him and even wouldn't then but you deserve more than being a Navy wife. It's not an easy life that you are signing up for and I only want the best for you. Besides as much as I hate to bring this up; you would need to be prepared to support yourself and any kids you have if he doesn't make it home. It's something to think about. You have my support and my help getting you ready for those classes but I don't want to pressure you."

"I know. But Daddy, Mom loved her life with you. She may have had issues but she loved it. She could have pursued something when we moved to Norfolk and Lucas went to school but she chose not to. She chose it. Not you. We all knew that you wanted her to have a life outside of home and you weren't holding her back. She held herself back; thinking she had to be this perfect wife and mom. You never expected that and neither did we. She could have gotten a job even if it wasn't using her degree but she refused. I am not going to make the same mistakes. I don't feel pressured by either your or Ryan. I'm just scared that I won't be able to handle the classes and you guys will be ashamed of me. Guess I just want to make you proud of me."

"I think Ryan will agree with me on this one; we don't need you to have a college degree to be proud of you. We just want you to have something of your own. And he wanted this for you before I ever came back into the picture. And there has never been a day that I have been ashamed of you. I am beyond proud to call you my daughter."

"Even though I kept the kids away from you that night?"  
"Grace, I was upset and angry at you. Not ashamed. You had parented the kids for five years and you made a decision that you felt at that point was best for them. I didn't agree with you but I also didn't fight it. I knew that legally I could have gone in and gotten the kids but I also knew that if I did that, I would traumatize them and potentially destroy my relationship with you. I didn't want that. Yeah, I wanted them at home with me but you had provided them a home and you made a decision that in all honesty was a smart decision. In the moment; yeah, I was angry, upset and had I come in there is no telling what would have been said. There are a thousand ways that I could have done things differently and in at least half of them; you wouldn't have gotten hurt. But the other side of that coin; is I would have come in and got the kids and because I am impulsive, I would have said something stupid and then I would have left with the kids, leaving you alone. Maggie might not have realized you were there by yourself when she heard the commotion and Alec would not have gone upstairs and you would have died. Than I would have lost you and it would have absolutely destroyed me."

"You would have probably been better off too."

"If you had died? Why do you think that?"

"Because I get in your way. You have to take care of me now and Hannah and Matty will probably always defer to me. I am just a mess right now and it's not fair to you or them."

"Gracie, oh my God. I am your father. That doesn't change because you're an adult now. It's not a duty to help you, it's an honor. You've done so much for me. I made a lifelong commitment to you and you needing help now is not a permanent thing. There will come a point in my life that you may need to be the caretaker and I know that you will do it with love. I wouldn't be better off if you had died that night. I can almost virtually guarantee that losing you would have pushed me right back into that whiskey bottle. I wouldn't have survived it and then Hannah and Matty would have been without either of us. Not to mention how Hannah would have felt. I am not mad or angry at you for being hurt; it's not your fault. You did everything you could to protect yourself. As far as Hannah and Matty deferring to you? Yeah, they will. You're their older sister. But you've also been the only mother that Matty has ever known. My intention is to ease things up so you can have a somewhat normal life now. You and Ryan can build your relationship, you can go to college if that is something you want and be a normal twenty year old. Not having the weight of raising your younger siblings. Your responsibility now is that of a big sister. Not as a mother. All that being said, you've done a phenomenal job at being what they've needed but I want you to concentrate on yourself for a while. Get yourself healed up. Become whoever you want to be. I don't want you to ever, ever think that me or the kids would have been better off if you had died. I am barely able to get over Lucas and your mom dying. Losing you…I would have not gotten through that. Now, I am sorry if there is anything that I've said or done to make you think that. I love you and I really want a hug."

Grace came around the kitchen counter and Mike wrapped his arms around her, being careful of her ribs and her arm. He hoped that he had gotten through to her. He knew it was not an abnormal emotion given that she was so brutally attacked but he didn't like it and it had made him nervous. He didn't think she was suicidal but he did wish that she would talk to someone. He didn't want to imagine a life without Grace in it. Having a life without Lucas or Christine was bad enough; but the thought of Grace dying was too much and instantly brought tears to his eyes. He knew it would be the same if something happened to Hannah or Matty.

Grace finally pulled away and noticed the tears on Mike's cheeks. She had never seen him so emotional. She pulled him close and kissed his cheek. If she had realized how strongly he felt she would not have even brought it up. She had just felt that she was getting in his way while he was trying to bond with Matty and rebuild things with Hannah. He had done so much for them; sometimes too much but she knew that he had done it all in love. She felt herself getting tired and knew that she needed to head to bed but she also hated leaving her dad.

"Daddy, I love you. I only meant that it felt like I was impeding your relationship with the kids. And now you have to help me so much. I know that you feel that it's part of being my dad and I appreciate all that you've done for me. When I'm able to, I want to move back to my apartment. Go back to work. I know it's going to take me awhile. And I don't mean it as a personal slight. The kids can stay here and I will stay here from time to time too. It'll give you time with them, time you need. As far as I'm concerned, I will go to work, look into those college courses, have some time with Ryan and maybe you and I can have lunch a time or two a week? I know it's gonna take me some time before I can live on my own but I think I need to. As long as I stay here, you and I are going to keep having problems and I don't want that. I want a normal relationship with you. This isn't really healthy for either of us and it's not fair to Hannah and Matty. It's confusing to them. They need to learn to rely on you; and I need to go back to just being their big sister, not their mother figure. They have you and you're great. You can play both roles. And I get to relax. It's the best for everyone. And don't freak out because it will take me some time to get there. I know I can't live alone just yet. And I know it sounds strange, but I really want the kitchen island fixed first. I can't look at that dry wall every day. Is that something you could do for me?"

"You bet. I'm so proud of you. I don't know if I would even be able to move back there if I was you. You have a home here and I love having you here but I do understand what you're saying. You and I can do lunch or breakfast; whatever you want. I'm retired now, so my days will be free. I do want us to have dinner as a family at least one night a week. I think it's important. As far as the dry wall is concerned; when you're ready for it to be fixed, I will. As long as you need, you can stay here. I know that you don't want to talk to a counselor about what happened and I don't know if you are still thinking about becoming a cop. This experience might really help you if you do, but regardless; this is a suggestion, let me teach you some self-defense moves when you're able. Maybe teach you how to fire a gun. Even if you don't become a cop, it's beneficial given your job. Up to you. I would really like you to find someone to talk to but I won't push you."

She nodded at him and Mike pulled her into another hug. He would hate to see her move out but he knew that it was a necessity. He felt strangely at peace with their conversation. It was a chance at a normal relationship with all three of his kids; something he wanted desperately. He could feel Grace losing steam quickly and she seemed to be leaning into him out of exhaustion so he let her go so she could go to bed. He gave her another kiss on the forehead and she headed into her own bedroom. Matty had fallen asleep on Mike's bed and he didn't have the heart to move him to his own bed. He did manage to get him under the blankets without waking him up. Hannah was also sound asleep in her room and he could hear Grace already lightly snoring. Mike settled in next to his little boy and wrapped his arms around him. It was late at night that Mike missed Lucas the most. He knew he should make Matty sleep in his own room but he was comforted by having him close. The little boy had wormed his way into Mike's heart so quickly, faster than Mike even thought possible. Matty's birthday was coming up quickly and Mike wanted to make it special. The downside to Matty's birthday was that it was also the anniversary of Christine's death and Lucas' birthday was actually two days after Matty's. He had ignored the date for the past five years but it was going to be hard to do that this year.


	25. Chapter 25

**Five Years Later**

Chapter 25

The week went by so fast. Mike would take the kids to school, Grace would spend the day with Ryan at Maggie's restaurant and Mike would either go back to the farm or to the sheriff's office to help Alec with the investigation. It had turned into a massive undertaking because as they worked their way backwards, they were discovering dozens of cases that could be tracked back to Sarah and Daniel. Alec had experience investigating homicides but not as much as Mike and the sheer amount of information that needed to be sorted through was shocking. And with the pandemic; they hadn't gotten all the records either.

On Friday, Mike took Grace for her follow up appointments with the brain surgeon and general surgeon. He offered to take Ryan along but Ryan was wearing out almost as easily as Grace and so he decided to stay with his mom. If the appointment ran late, she would pick up Hannah and Matty for Mike. They still planned on having Max out to stay Friday night. Matty's birthday was Saturday and so they switched the dinner with Polly to Saturday night because Matty wanted Pastor Polly there for his party. Maggie, Alec and Ryan would also be there along with Polly's baby girl, Gabby.

Grace's appointments went as well as Mike expected they would. All the stitches were removed and the doctors were happy with how Grace was healing. They confirmed that the exhaustion was normal and suggested she not go back to work immediately or work half days. The headaches were normal and might be a lifelong issue; which made Mike's heart hurt. She also had an appointment with a gynecologist which Mike obviously didn't sit through. It was the one that had made him the most nervous because they would be testing for STD's and pregnancy and it was the one that he couldn't offer her any help with. Just support.

He waited in the waiting room and outside lobby; pacing back and forth. Maggie had offered to go with Grace for that particular appointment if it was made on a different day but Grace wanted to get it over with. She would have to be retested to make sure she hadn't caught anything nasty in three months but they were all more nervous about the pregnancy issue. Grace hadn't talked much about what she would do if she had gotten pregnant due to the rape. It would be an excruciating decision for her. Mike would support whatever Grace decided to do if she was pregnant and he knew that Ryan had told her the same thing. The thought just terrified him.

Mike had gone out to the outer lobby and texted Grace what his location was. While he was waiting on her; he decided to call Tom. It was in the middle of a workday but he felt the need to talk to someone.

"Hey, I'm on my lunch hour. What's up?"

"Just waiting on Grace. She is at the ob-gyn's. She's been cleared medically where the surgeries are concerned. May always have headaches but otherwise will be okay. They're checking her to see if she is recovering from the trauma of the rape, if she has any STD's or is pregnant."

"Oh geez. Poor girl. Poor dad."

"Yeah. It's rough. I can't help her with this one. Other appointments I stayed with her but not this one. I hate that if they tell her that she is pregnant or has some sort of disease, she's in there alone. The nurse told me that they would come get me, but it's Grace. She will probably try and handle it on her own."

"Has she got a plan in place if she's pregnant?"

"Not that she's told me. I suspect she and Ryan have spoken about it more so. He told me that he would support whatever decision she made. Just a rough decision. I'm more scared of the pregnancy issue than the disease issue. Daniel told Alec he didn't have anything nasty."

"But the idiot obviously didn't use a condom?"

"Nope, course not."

"She remembered much else?"

"No. I think she has remembered all that she is going to. I just hope she doesn't have to testify but she's tough. She'll get through it. She did mention moving back to her apartment this week. Wants me to patch up the dry wall where he slammed her head into the wall first. It bugs her to see it."

"Well, yeah. Medically speaking, is she ready?"

"Yeah but psychologically speaking is another story. I've left for short periods of time but she hasn't been truly alone for a long stretch of time yet. I have a feeling her first night at the apartment will be rough. Ryan, Alec and I will be getting a lot of phone calls."

"Give her my number. She may hesitate to call you guys but not me. If I sense that it's a true emergency I will call you but it may give her another source to talk to."

"I appreciate that and I know that she will too. She may be afraid to call if she thinks we'll think she is freaking out."

"Yeah, so when is the move going to happen? Now that she's medically cleared, it may be sooner than her old dad would like."

"Well, Matty's birthday is tomorrow and Lucas' would have been Monday. She promised me that she wouldn't move out until after Monday. I plan on fixing the dry wall Monday. Need to stay busy."

"Gonna be rough. You've not stopped to think about his birthday or even the day that he died. Now you have to."

"Yeah, I'm dreading it. It's wrong but I am thinking about keeping Matty out of school that day. Having him around is comforting."

"Mike, Matty is not Lucas. I understand what you're thinking and it's understandable. But it isn't fair to that little boy. You need to work through this stuff concerning Lucas. Lucas deserves that. Matty deserves that. And you know that."

"Yeah, I know. Just dreading the day. Matty would be a welcome distraction."

"But you don't need the distraction. You need the reality. And stay away from the liquor aisle."

"Yeah. Not even crossed my mind."

"It might that day. Grace is going to need you at the top of your game; especially if her appointment doesn't go well but even if it does, moving back to the apartment where she was brutally attacked will be tough."

"Yeah, I know. Speaking of which, she just walked into the waiting room. I better get going. Thanks for the talk."

"Call me if you need me and let me know the results of the appointment."

"Will do."

Grace had stopped to make an appointment and Mike waited outside the doors for her. He couldn't get a read on her body language which made him nervous. He could tell that she was completely exhausted. It made his heart hurt for her. She turned back around and he grabbed the glass door for her. There were people around and so she still wasn't talking. But once they got into the elevator alone, she broke. Mike grabbed her in a bear hug and let her cry.

"Oh, honey. It'll be okay. You have so many people that love you. We'll help you but you gotta tell me what the doctor said."

They had hit the ground floor and the elevator doors opened and of course there were people all around. Grace pulled away and headed towards the bathroom to wash her face. Mike got her a bottle of water out of the vending machine and waited. It was making him really miss Christine. He obviously couldn't follow her into the bathroom and she really needed a woman to talk to. He heard the door open back up and was glad to see she was no longer crying.

"Can we please go out to the Explorer; Daddy? I don't want to talk with all these people around and I want to go home."

"Absolutely. Let's get out of here."

He opened the bottle for her and she drank a huge gulp of water as they walked. He opened the car door for her and helped her with the seat belt since she couldn't twist around to get it. He couldn't get a read from her and it was really worrying him. After he got his door shut he looked over at her and saw the tears rolling down her cheeks.

"Baby, you gotta talk."

"I'm not pregnant. Don't have a disease either. But the doctor says there was a lot of trauma and scar tissue. She isn't sure that I will be able to ever get pregnant. She's not sure. She wants to recheck again in three months and then again in six months. Just not sure that Ryan will be okay with it. He wants a house full of kids. How is he going to be okay with this? It's just not fair."

"No, it's not. I don't have any easy answer. The only thing I can say is hold off on giving up hope. The body is remarkable. It can heal itself. That maybe why the doc wants to wait and recheck you. As far as Ryan is concerned, he loves you. There are other options in place. Adoption? It's not a perfect answer but it doesn't mean that you won't have a house full of kids. It may just not be how you planned. I've been all over this world before and after the pandemic and I know that there are a lot of children out there who don't have parents for whatever reason and they would be absolutely blessed to have you and Ryan as their parents. I know this because of how well you've done with Hannah and Matty. You will be an excellent mother. Just be patient. And you need to be upfront with Ryan. He has been so accepting of everything and I don't see him not accepting this."

"I know, but…"

"Honey, no but's. He loves you. You and he were planning on waiting six months before you started talking marriage so waiting six months to start talking about babies makes sense. Just let him know what the doctor says. He has a right to know."

"Thanks, Daddy. It just hurts. I was hoping I would get out of this completely normal. Now; I may have headaches and now this? Just hurts really bad. And Daniel and Sarah get what? Three hot meals a day, medical care and shelter? It's like I am being punished and they are the ones that are the victims."

"They will never see the light of day. I don't know that they will be put to death but they will spend the rest of their lives in prison. It's not fair; I would love to be the one to put a bullet in their brains for what they've done to you. But you have a choice. You can stay a victim or you can become a survivor. You're already a survivor in my eyes but you have to start seeing that. As long as you feel like this; they have power over you. Rape is about power, not sex. So you take the power back. You rise above what happened. You've already made strides in that direction. You could have broken up with Ryan but you didn't. You want to move back to your apartment. You've let me; Ryan, Alec, Tom and Russ hug you. That in itself is a massive step. You want me to teach you the self-defense lessons. You are still talking about being a cop. You're doing good, great, in fact. And somewhere down the road, you will look back on all this as a way to help someone else. You will be out here, doing whatever and they will be stuck in prison. You will have the power then and they will be dealing with strip searches, group showers and one hour of sunlight a day. You'll win."

"Just a lot to take in. Polly and I have been talking a lot. She was raped in college and that's how she ended up with Max. She says I am still processing. I really like her. I know you think I need to talk to someone but I like talking to her. She isn't a counselor or anything but she is an ordained minister so she knows stuff. And she's had a normal life since. I think that's why I like talking to her. Everything looks hopeless now but she reminds me that I can have a normal life at some point."

"I want you to talk to someone. If Polly helps you and it doesn't bother her; then I don't see an issue. You ready to go home or do you want to find some food first?"

"No, let's go home. Maggie will have Hannah and Matty; so we can just eat there."

"Works for me."

"And, Daddy?"

"Yeah?"  
"Thank you. I really love you."

"Love you too, sweetie."

The rest of the trip home was a lot lighter. They talked about Matty's birthday the next day and the sleepover that night. She had let Alec know that she was cleared to go back to work but with the suggestion that she work half days. It would be good for her to go back to some normalcy. Mike wasn't sure what he would do with himself. Alec had mentioned him working at the Sheriff's Department a couple more times and Mike was honestly considering it. Maybe something part time. He and Grace had talked about it and she was thrilled with the idea. He didn't want to complicate his relationship with her by becoming her coworker but it might also be good for them too.


	26. Chapter 26

**Five Years Later**

Chapter 26

Having two little boys was taxing. Grace and Ryan had a "date" and so she had stayed in town with him. Hannah was home and helped a lot but between throwing the ball back and forth, fishing, watching movies, eating an ungodly amount of popcorn, and having a bonfire where the boys fixed hot dogs and smores, Mike was completely exhausted. Max was a very sweet little boy and he and Matty played really well together. Grace was able to drive herself home which made her happy. She was regaining independence.

The two boys finally went to sleep about midnight. Grace and Hannah had wore out hours before. It was officially Matty's birthday but it was also the anniversary of Christine's death. Mike found himself looking at a photo album that she had put together. Pictures of them dating, their engagement photo, wedding pictures. Maternity photos and pictures of the two of them when Grace, Hannah and Lucas were born. There were not any of when Matty was born; for obvious reasons. They had dated for three years, were engaged for a year and married for fifteen. There were fights but the one thing that they had always had was love. They had created four beautiful children together. He didn't have her anymore; but he had three of the four kids and a million happy memories. Mike chose to concentrate on the happy memories and the three kids. Monday would be rough, because he would be concentrating on the son that he had lost.

Mike finally fell into his own bed completely exhausted. He had stood at each of the bedroom doors watching the kids sleeping. It was cathartic. The boys were sleeping on a pallet on the bedroom floor so there were no arguments over the bed; and Mike had covered both of them with a blanket. He admired Polly's strength; he had feared that Grace would end up pregnant as a result of the rape and would feel that she needed to raise the child. He didn't think it was possible but the understanding he had gotten from Max was that Polly was an amazing mom to him. He was thankful that Polly was helping Grace.

It was not a restful sleep and Matty crawled into bed with him about six. He told him Max was now sleeping in his bed and he wanted some time with his daddy. He had connected the dots and realized that his birthday was also the same day that his mommy had died and had started crying in Mike's arms. Mike didn't have any words of comfort for him; all he could do was hold him and cry a few of his own tears.

"Daddy, are you sure you're not mad at me?"

"I'm sure that I'm not mad at you. I'm also positive that your mommy would not want you to be upset at yourself for her dying. She loved you so much when you were in her tummy. When she died she knew that you would be okay. And now she is in your heart; just like she is in mine, Grace's and Hannah's."

"I wish I had my own story about her. Grace and Hannah tell me about her but I don't know anything about her."

"What do you want to know?"

"What was her favorite color? Did she like flowers like Ms. Maggie? What was her favorite thing to do? Did she like puppies and kitties? What was her favorite story to read to Hannah, Grace and Lucas? That kind of stuff. It makes Grace and Hannah sad to talk about her and I don't wanna make you sad."

"Her favorite color was yellow, especially light yellow. She hated roses but loved pink tulips. That's what I always got her when I came home from being away. She loved animals in general. I wouldn't ever let her go to the pound because she would bring home as many puppies and kitties as she could fit in the car. I remember her reading "Goodnight Moon" to the kids when they were you're age. She loved pizza and chocolate chip cookie dough ice cream. Her favorite holiday was Thanksgiving because of all the food. She loved to cook and bake and was really good at it. She didn't like television much; but she loved music. She would listen to any kind of music. Classic, country, rock and roll, everything. She and I always had special stuff that we did with Hannah, Grace and Lucas. Grace loved horseback riding, Hannah loved bowling and Lucas liked fishing. When I was home between deployments we would take a day with each of them separately and do those things. And then she and I would take a day to ourselves and we would go shopping. I was gone for a lot of birthdays and Christmas' so we would get the gifts for that day since I wasn't going to be home. We'd go out to dinner and go mini gulfing afterwards. Our first date, we went mini gulfing. It was always fun. Want to know anything else?"

"Did telling me that make you sad? I really don't want you to be sad. You're such a good daddy."

"Thank you, Matty. You're such a good son. Remembering that stuff makes me smile. If you hadn't asked me; I might have been sad all day but it has made me happier. I still miss your mom but it helps to talk about her. Monday is Lucas' birthday and I know I will be really sad then too. So I want you to want to talk about him. It'll help me. I might still cry but I might smile too."

"Pastor Polly told me that when we cry for people that we love that died; it's like we are telling them we love them even though they aren't here with us anymore, because they are in heaven. They can feel the tears and it sounds like 'I love you' to them."

"Well then we can tell Mommy and Lucas that we love them a whole lot. It's okay to cry."

"But you're big and tough?"

"My being big and tough doesn't mean that I can't cry. My dad always told me that men shouldn't cry but I think different. I think that real men cry."

"So, its okay that I cried?"

"Yep, and I was crying too. So we were both telling your mom that we loved her. I bet she was up in heaven and it made her happy to hear it."

"But how does she tell us that she loves us?"

"Your mom loved it when it rained. She didn't care so much for thunder and lightening but she loved the rain. So when the thunder scares you and me but it's raining? That's her telling us that she loves us and we don't need to be scared. She probably tells us in other ways too but when it rains I think most about her."

"I like that. I don't like the thunder but it might help to know that when I hear it, Mommy is actually telling me that she loves me. How does Lucas tell us?"

"Hmm… well he loved animals as much as your mom did. So when we see a puppy or kitty; it's him telling us that he loves us."

"I really want a puppy. Grace couldn't get me one when we lived at the apartment because we didn't have enough room but maybe now?"

"Oh, I think we could find you one."

"Really? All my own? Grace says me and Hannah are gonna live here with you forever. I would like that! I love being here with you. I love you!"

"I love you too and yeah, you're gonna live here with me until you get all grown up and then you can come back anytime you want."

"Gracie always fixes us pancakes on our birthdays but she won't put chocolate chips in mine. Can you? She can't get mad at you since your Daddy."

"Yep. Chocolate chip pancakes coming right up. Let's get moving. You have a game at ten and then Maggie and Alec, Ryan, Pastor Polly and Gabby are all coming for lunch, cake and ice cream." They got out of bed and headed for the kitchen. The rest of the house was still sleeping and so Mike just started mixing up the ingredients while Matty sit at the kitchen island.

"Daddy, am I gonna have to change Gabby's diapers since she'll be here visiting? I've smelled babies in church and they smell funny sometimes. She's cute but I really don't want to change her diaper because she's my guest. Grace told me that we should help our guests…"

"Oh, Lord, no! If Gabby's diaper needs to be changed, her mommy will be here. Or her Aunt Maggie. I'll even change her diaper if I need to but I promise you won't have to."

"You've changed diapers?"

"Only about a thousand or so."

"But if she is really stinky?"

"It won't bother me to change her diaper, I promise."

"Okay, when she comes visit you gotta change her diapers since she and Pastor Polly are visitors. It won't be right to make Pastor Polly or Ms. Maggie to change them. You got to. I don't want to, Grace probably can't because of her arm and it'll gross Hannah out. You got to. And I'll tell Pastor Polly at my game that you'll change Gabby's diapers while they are here for my birthday. It's the nice thing to do. How many times will she have to be changed? And you'll have to feed her too, she can't do that herself. You gotta hold her and everything. She is really cute though. You'll like her."

"I'm sure that I will."

"Her daddy died before she was born so it would be nice if you and Pastor Polly got married and you could be her daddy. And Max's too."

"You have all kinds of plans. What if Pastor Polly and I don't like each other?"

"Then you need to start cause Max and Gabby need a daddy and you're a good one. I won't mind sharing you with them. I bet Grace and Hannah won't either."

Mike could hear Grace and Hannah laughing hysterically in the hallway. Max was still sound asleep and so he wasn't too concerned about him overhearing the conversation. It was really cute the way Matty was presenting it. He liked Polly and knew that she wasn't a serial killer. It was an added bonus.

"Well, I like Polly but I am still missing your mom pretty bad and I bet she is missing her husband. May not be right to get married since we only met last week. Plus, we're lots different. Until last week, I hadn't been in a church in many years and she is a Pastor. Kind of a weird match. I've done some not so nice stuff and she may not like it."

"Oh, she won't mind. She knows you were a soldier."

"Sailor, kiddo. I was a sailor."

"Is that different? "

"A little. Soldiers are land based, I was on a ship most of my career."

"But when you were off the ship, did you have a big gun?"

"Yep. But I didn't go off the ship too much. When I was the XO, or the second in command, it was my job to run things went the Captain was off the ship on the away missions. You remember Tom? He was my Captain or Commanding Officer. Once I become the Captain, I went on a few more away missions but the Navy really likes the Captains to stay on the ship."

"Well, it sounds like you were still a soldier. I don't get it."

"I guess, ultimately the goal is the same."

"She won't mind whatever you were. She'll love you just the same. And Max and Gabby will love you just the same as I do. I'm gonna go wake him up. Lots of chocolate chips in my pancake please?"

Matty ran for his room and high fived Grace on his way out of the room. Hannah had apparently gone in to take a shower and Grace was still laughing. It was good to see her so light hearted.

"Can you help me with my sling? The doctor wanted me to wear it for another week and I hate putting it on."

"You bet. How did your talk with Ryan go? You don't have to tell me if you don't want to but I'd like to know." Mike gently eased her arm into the sling and wrapped it around her neck. It had become a bit of a morning ritual for them and he didn't mind it in the least because he would always give her a kiss on the forehead when he got done.

"He said the same thing that you did. If we can't have kids of our own, we'll adopt. But he doesn't want to even think about it right now until we get married whenever that is. He also wants me to get recovered completely, go to police academy if that's what I want to do and then we'll start thinking about it. The added time will help my insides healed up and that might make getting pregnant easier, not that you wanted to know that."

"Yeah, I don't want to know the specifics. I just want to know that you're okay and he is supportive of you. If you do get pregnant, is the doctor concerned about any difficulties?"

"She didn't mention anything. But I didn't ask a lot either. I will on the later appointments depending on how they go. She said the trauma should heal but the scar tissue may be a problem. She mentioned possibly operating to remove it. Wants to keep an eye on certain things for the next three months and that will tell her if I need the surgery."

"Anything that I can help with? I know I said I didn't want specifics but…"

"My periods maybe a bit rough. But there isn't anything that you or anyone can do for that. I really don't want a surgery but she made is sound like the surgery would help with a lot of issues. Like I said, you don't want to know."

"Make sure you have midol and heating pads? Your mom always had a lot of cramps with hers so I remember a few things. And while I don't want a lot of details, I do want to help you. If you need help you ask for it. And I do want to know if she decides to operate. I will be there for you, I know you would much prefer your mom, Maggie or Polly but I will want to be there."

"I wouldn't dream of not telling you I was having a surgery. I really appreciate everything you've done for me. I know the next couple days are gonna be rough for you, but I want you to know that I love you and I appreciate everything that you've done for me. I know it's not been easy and with me not letting you have Hannah and Matty that night; you could have just walked away but you didn't. I know how any angry you've been…"

"I would have never walked away from you no matter how angry I was. And I'm not now. I was that night before Alec called me but even then I didn't stop loving you. I am over that part of that day; and I want you to put it out of your head. Stop thinking about it. I would have never, ever walked away, would have never stopped loving you because you had made me mad. I've made you mad plenty of times, but I think you still love me so…"

"Oh, I do. I just haven't figured out how you can get past that. It was so hurtful."

"I went past it the second Alec called me and told me you were hurt. My only concern then was you. Not that you had made me mad. I was absolutely terrified that you were going to die and we had harsh words between us. I know I smothered you before and probably have some since but I promise you, I am past being mad. I love you and that is all that matters. Now come here and give me a hug."

Grace came around the counter and gave him a massive hug; or as much as she could. She finally pulled away from him, after giving him a kiss on the cheek and tried to pick a few chocolate chips out of Matty's pancake.

"Hey, by the way, Hannah and I talked and we're okay with sharing you with Max and Gabby. Thought you might want to know."

"You guys are killin' me. Would you tell them the pancakes are ready?"


	27. Chapter 27

**Five Years Later**

Chapter 27

The ballgame was a lot of fun for all the kids on the team and Alec treated them all to snow cones. Matty and Max neither one needed more sugar but Mike or Polly couldn't deny them. Matty explained to Polly that while she was at their house, his daddy would be holding, feeding and changing Gabby since they were guests. It brought a lot of laughs. Mike had figured out that Matty's angle was to get Mike to fall in love with the baby girl to expedite things with Polly. It was cute.

Ryan rode with them one the way home; and immediately drew Matty's attention to a "Free Puppy" sign beside the road. It didn't take much convincing to get Mike to pull over. Grace was groaning but Mike, Hannah, Matty and Ryan all got out looking at the puppies. Mike only intended on one puppy coming home with them but somehow Hannah convinced him that she needed one too. That also might not have taken much convincing. Grace groaned when she saw the two beagle puppies but she had fallen in love with them too. Ryan helped Matty hold his puppy, a male pup that had quickly earned the name, Scooby. Hannah hadn't picked a name for her female pup.

Maggie was supplying the cake and ice cream and Mike was taking care of lunch. It was simple, hamburgers and hotdogs. Ryan and Alec helped Mike with the grill especially once Polly, Gabby and Max showed up, since Mike was on baby duty. Fortunately Gabby didn't like strangers but quickly had Mike wrapped around her little finger. Mike had a bit of a soft spot for kids and Gabby was a happy baby, full of smiles and giggles.

When it was time for Gabby's nap, Matty insisted that Mike rock her to sleep. Polly followed Mike inside because Gabby's naptime routine was a little difficult and all the adults decided to give them some time. They all knew what Matty was up to and thought it was funny, sweet and could be a good thing.

"Matty is quite the kid."

"Yeah, he's a bit of a mess. Have you heard about his plan for you and me?"

"It's quite interesting. It's cute. He loves you a lot."

"Well, definitely no pressure there. Hey, I do appreciate you helping Grace. I am sure it's painful for you but it means a lot that you would help her. She is seeing what you have as a bit of an inspiration that she can have a normal life."

"The way I get through it is helping other survivors. It would be painful otherwise. Her attack was considerably more violent than mine. I was mugged on the way home from a study group. Guy knocked me out, did his thing, and left me in some brush. Maggie and I's parents were not as supportive and believed that I had wanted it. I finished that semester and graduated. Got my minister's license and settled here. Lived in the same apartment that Grace did. Maggie helped me with Max when he was born. I considered giving him up for adoption but the first time I heard him cry, held him, well it was love at first sight. My parents hated it, hated me keeping him. I don't regret the decision at all. I got an amazing little boy. I am glad Grace isn't going to have to face that particular decision though. It is agonizing."

"Yeah, me too. I would have helped her in whatever way but I was happy when she told me she wasn't pregnant but heartbroken when she told me she might not be able to ever get pregnant. Not much I can do for her there. What happened with Gabby's dad if you don't mind me asking?"

"Your unwavering support means so much to her, trust me. Paul was one of Alec's deputies. He fell in love with Max and before too long Paul and I were dating, then engaged and then married. At that point, I couldn't figure out how I could be desirable considering everything, but Paul was amazing. I had just found out I was pregnant when Alec and Maggie showed up on my doorstep to tell me that he had been killed in a car accident. Drunk driver hit him on the way to a domestic call. He had only found out that I was pregnant that morning and was beyond thrilled. It was a rough time; we got through the Red Flu with relatively few deaths here and between Paul dying and now all this with Sarah Gibson; it's been a shock."

"How'd you get through it?"

"My faith, Max, being pregnant and then having Gabby. Maggie and Alec have been amazing too. Help me out with the kids a lot."

"They are an amazing couple. I am beyond grateful for what they've done for my kids."

"They love your kids. They don't replace the two they've lost but they soothed it. I think Gabby is finally asleep. I've finally found another babysitter. She doesn't normally warm up to new people so fast. She must really like you."

Mike looked down at the sleeping baby in his arms and smoothed her dress down. It had been many years since he had rocked a baby to sleep and it made him smile; but also a bit sad because he had never rocked Matty to sleep when he was a baby. He finally worked his shirt out of Gabby's grasp and carried her to the playpen that Polly had setup. He wouldn't admit it quite so soon, but the baby girl had already worked her way into his heart. Her mommy and Max were also getting there too, but he wasn't quite ready to admit that either.

"So, I know this is a bit abrupt and you can certainly say no; but would you want to go out for dinner sometime? If you aren't ready, I understand."

"I actually think I would like that. Course, that's provided I can find a babysitter. I hate always depending on Maggie and Alec. Course she would probably jump at the chance given that it would be for a dinner out."

"I can talk to my girls and see if they would be willing to help out. They will just be happy that you're not a serial killer."

"Yep, definitely not a serial killer. Don't have a violent bone in my body."

"Thank God!"

Polly threw her head back and belly laughed as she was walking out the backdoor. Mike couldn't explain it but he was already feeling the same connection with her that he had had with Christine and Katie. She was completely different than them but then again Christine and Katie hadn't been much like each other either. Her faith was something completely different. Katie and he had gone to church together and her death was probably one of the things that had driven him away from the church. She was the type of person that never had a bad word to say about anyone, was kind to everyone, and very genuine. Had she lived, Mike had no doubts that they would have married and his life would have been totally different. Christine was religious; and Mike went along with it but wasn't an active participant, other than at the kid's baptisms. He had been so angry when Katie died that church took a backseat. Years of being a cop and then being an officer in the Navy pushed any faith he might have had further away. He had figured one thing out; his kids, Maggie, Alec, Ryan, Polly; all had faith and were totally at peace with everything that happened to them. It didn't mean that they didn't have issues; but they had faith in something when whatever they were doing failed.

The rest of the afternoon was spent laughing, eating, playing ball and fishing. As soon as Gabby woke up, Mike was back on baby duty per Matty. There were far worse ways to spend an afternoon. In the early evening, after Ryan almost fell asleep in his deck chair, Maggie and Alec decided to head for home. Like Grace, he could barely get through the day without taking a nap. Mike passed Gabby off to Hannah and assisted Alec in getting Ryan to the car. Steps still bothered his knee a lot and Mike and Alec had to practically carry him down them.

Grace had worn out too and ended up sleeping on the couch. Polly helped Mike get everything cleaned up while Hannah entertained Gabby. The two boys were in Matty's room. Mike had mentioned to her that he would like to take Polly out for dinner but there was a babysitter issue. Hannah immediately agreed to babysit the three younger kids on the condition that Mike would take her bowling sometime on their own. It made Mike realize that he had spent very little time with Hannah doing anything fun and the young girl was obviously craving one on one time. He mentioned it to Polly and she told him to go the next day after church. She would look after Matty and Grace and Ryan had plans for dinner with Maggie and Alec. None of them wanted Hannah falling backwards and Mike pouring love and attention towards her was one way to insure that she wouldn't.

After Polly and her kids left, Mike gave Matty a much needed bath. The little boy had had a full weekend and was already exhausted and wanting to go to sleep, in Mike's bed. Hannah was working on a school project for her geography class. A huge world map was on display, with all the countries and ports that Mike had been to indicated by red push pins. Grace had moved from the couch to her bedroom and was sound asleep in there. The day had worn her out. Scooby and Hannah's puppy, Daffy were sound asleep in a basket that Polly and Maggie had made up for them to sleep in. Mike finally sit down with Hannah to help her with her project and to talk to her.

"So, Polly is going to take Matty home with her after church. Grace was planning on going with the Smith's anyway so it'll just be me and you after church. I know you want to go bowling; anything else?"

"Maybe out for lunch or supper?"

"That's a given. Anything else?"

"Daddy, I just want to spend time with you. I don't care what we do. It's all I want."

"You okay with me taking her out for dinner? It's okay if you aren't."

"I really like Polly. Much better than Sarah. I'm just worried about you because of Lucas' birthday."

"I appreciate the concern but I will be okay. It'll be rough but it is something that I need to go through. I haven't taken the time to adequately grieve for him the way that I should have and it's time. What I need from you, Grace and Matty; is to just be here when I need you. You guys are gonna be what gets me through it. I need you and I love you."

Hannah had pulled him into a hug and Mike felt the first rush of emotion that he had felt concerning Lucas. He had cried for him, missed him, gotten mad about him dying and then just stayed in that emotion. He hated the idea of crying on his fourteen year olds shoulder but it just kept coming and Hannah just hung onto him. He had no idea how long they stayed like that. He was absolutely drained, emotionally and physically. He finally pulled away but held onto Hannah's shoulders more for her strength than anything else and leaned his chin onto the top of her head. The last couple weeks he had inadvertally focused on Grace and Matty; they had gotten him through a lot but Hannah was just as amazing as they were. She was turning into a beautiful, strong young lady. She had a tender, compassionate heart that Mike had always loved about her. Of all his kids; Hannah was the most like Christine. She had a few of his more negative attributes but the qualities that she had gotten from Christine completely overshadowed those.

"I love you so much, Hannah. More than you will ever know or understand."

"I love you too, Daddy. I just wanted you to know that I was here if you needed anything since Lucas' birthday was coming up. I didn't mean to upset you. Seems to be that is all I seem to do."

"You didn't upset me. You helped me and I love you for it. You are an amazing young lady and I love being your dad. I can't hardly wait for tomorrow. You have no idea how much I'm looking forward to it."

"I'm looking forward to it too. And I really love being your daughter. I do really like Polly and will babysit whenever you need me to. No conditions; you don't always have to take me bowling."

"You want to go bowling; or do anything, ask. I'm retired so I have nothing but time. Once Grace moves to her apartment, it's just gonna be me, you and Matty living here. Should be interesting."

"Yep, that's why I have no problem with you dating Polly. She isn't a serial killer plus she is really nice and Max and Gabby are really cute. I think Gabby really liked you a lot."

"Gabby is a baby. She likes anyone."

"No, I've played with Gabby at the nursery at church with Maggie; she is really picky. She barely lets anyone hold her but Polly and Maggie. You must have had some sort of special baby mojo or something. Better be careful though because they'll have helping in the nursery at church in no time. All those stinky diapers?"

"I have had four kids. Stinky diapers don't bother me. I loved it when you were guys were that age."

"Well, at the rate you're going with Polly; you'll have two more…plus if you have guys have anymore…"

"Go to bed, missy. It's already almost one am."

"You'll be okay? I love you."

"Love you too, sweetie. I'll be fine. Good night."

After hugging her again, Hannah headed to her bedroom. Mike locked up and headed to bed, curling up next to Matty. Matty immediately wrapped his arms around Mike and laid his head down on Mike's chest. Mike kissed him on the top of the head and immediately fell asleep.


	28. Chapter 28

**Five Years Later**

Chapter 28

Polly had no children's church or nursery workers and Maggie had stayed home with Ryan to fix dinner so Mike ended up with Gabby throughout the service so that Polly could take care of her children's church. She was a bit fussy and kept chewing on his shirt, her hand or whatever she could get ahold of. Grace wanted to hold her but couldn't because of her arm and Gabby was completely against going to anyone else. The baby had given Mike several slobbery kisses which made him smile. Despite her being so fussy; she was a very sweet baby. Hannah had looked for a teething ring in her diaper bag but couldn't find one so Gabby ended up chewing on Mike's knuckle. Mike had felt one of her front teeth starting to come in and knew that was the reason for the fussiness. She finally fell asleep in his arms midway through the service.

The service had been very thought provoking; it had been about forgiving yourself. Probably something Mike needed to hear and think about. Polly lived next to the church in the parsonage and so Mike just carried Gabby over after church and got Matty settled. Grace had ridden with Alec since she was spending the afternoon with them. Hannah was talking to some friends while Mike was at Polly's and they would head to their "daddy/daughter time" afterwards.

"Thanks for looking after her during church. She has been a bit of a bear lately." Polly was standing at the door to Gabby's nursery while Mike laid her down.

"It's not a problem; I didn't mind it at all. I think I felt a tooth coming in and she wanted to chew on everything."

"I suspected that was the issue. So what'd you think of the service?"

"Probably something I needed to hear. I generally don't have trouble forgiving others, its forgiving myself that trips me up."

"Own worst critic?"

"Yep very much so. Part of it is from being in the Navy, being in command. It becomes so ingrained to hold yourself to a higher standard and when you fail; it's a reflection on you. This stuff with the kids has really gotten me."

"Grace's rape? Or further back than that?

"Way before that. Not being there when they needed me, Christine dying, Grace having to do so much on her own and missing out on so much, Hannah getting mixed up in what she did, missing out on so much with Matty, Grace's attack, and about a thousand other things. Lucas' birthday is tomorrow and I've already completely broken down once on Hannah. My kids don't need to deal with that."

"I'm sure Hannah didn't mind dealing with it. They need to see you grieving too. But they also need to see you forgive yourself for all that stuff. You can't go back and change any of it. It was all in God's Plan. I know you have issues accepting that, but it makes it no less true. You have amazing kids and I am sure that Lucas was amazing too. He would not want you to blame yourself for his death and I don't think your wife would have either."

"I suppose."

"No, I know. Now, what is this that Matty told me about sharing you with Max and Gabby?"

"Oh my Lord! He told you that? All three kids have this hair brained scheme going on."

"Well, Max is quite enthralled with the idea and Gabby obviously loves you."

"Well, no pressure. I think we should at least go out for dinner before I become a 'shared daddy' for Max and Gabby."

"Totally agree with you on that one. I do appreciate that you're so good with them. Maggie has been on me for a while to start dating. I went out to dinner with the guy a month or two ago that Maggie set me up with. Nice enough but Max called me wanting me to tell him good night. The guy got mad. Our one and only date. He couldn't understand why my kids would be my priority."

"Sounds like an as- interesting guy. Sorry about that. Not used to watching what I say."

"I appreciate it. There is definitely some ground rules where I am concerned. No cussing, no sex; at least before marriage. My kids are my priority and church is also important. I understand if you want to walk away now. Most guys don't like those rules. I will still keep Matty for you."

"I need to watch what I say anyways, Matty is very perceptive. As far as the sex; I am good with that. I prefer to have a good relationship before throwing sex into the mix. I don't have an issue with waiting until marriage. My kids are my priority too. As far as church is concerned; I respect it. I can't say that I am religious at all. About as far away as possible. But I am smart enough to appreciate that it has been a coping mechanism for my kids when they needed one. I respect the peace that you all seem to have. Not sure I will ever have that peace or have that coping mechanism but I will never cut you down for your beliefs."

"We're gonna work on your coping mechanisms. Seriously, my faith, your kid's faith; it's so much more than a coping mechanism. Why have you come to church the past two weeks?"

"Simply put, my kids wanted me here. I felt it was important for them."

"But you said you enjoyed the service today? That was you, not them."

"Uh…I'm stumped now."

"Think about it. You could have easily told the kids no; but you didn't. And for some reason, today's message spoke to you. You're there because you need to be there. God knows that, your kids know it, and I'd be willing to bet; you know it too. Now, I hear Hannah in the living room and she is waiting for you. I know she has been anticipating this time with you. She needs it. Badly."

"Has she said something?"

"Mike, I'm their pastor. I will not betray a confidence unless I feel that they are in danger. You've spent a lot of time with Grace and Matty. I know you love Hannah; you tell her. But she also needs to be shown."

"I thought I had…"

"Everyone has a love language. Yours is words of affirmation. Her's is not that. But I will leave it to you to figure it out."

"She hadn't said anything. I keep thinking I am doing okay with them; but then something else comes up."

"Like I said; I'm not betraying a confidence but I will tell you this; you used to write her notes? Have you tried doing that?"

"No, I didn't think she remembered it. She was only nine when I left."

"Words of affection are great but sometimes written words are even better. And spending time with her, doing something fun is also good."

"I'll keep it mind. Thank you."

"Enjoy your time with her. And don't worry about Matty. I got him."

"I really appreciate what you're doing for me and my kids. If there is some way of repaying you?"

"Just our dinner out. I'm looking forward to talking to another adult."

"Me too. Call me if you need anything or Matty causes you any trouble."

Polly nodded at him and they left the Gabby's room. Hannah was in the living room talking to the two boys. Mike gave Matty a hug and kiss goodbye and patted Max on the shoulder and thanked Polly. Mike had not realized it but he was a bit nervous about spending time with Hannah. The past few weeks all they had talked about was getting her grades up and what had happened with Sarah and Daniel. Mike was beginning to realize that while he adored Hannah; he didn't really know her and didn't know how to have a conversation with her anymore not related to school.

The ride to the bowling alley was quiet and Mike felt a little uncomfortable. Talking to Grace and Matty was easy. Mike had no idea what Hannah's interests were and had no common ground with her. He had left when she was nine years old barely and she had been a little girl, his warrior princess. Now she was fourteen and a totally different person. Mike was totally clueless but desperately wanted to get to know his amazing daughter.

"So, I hadn't asked. Any sports you're interested in? Anything?"

"No. Just trying to get my grades up."

"I know. You're doing great. Is there anything besides the bowling that you want to do today?"

"We need to stop by a pet store and get some stuff for Scobby and Daffy. They can't keep eating human food."

"Yeah I know."

"Daddy, stop trying so hard. I just want to spend time with you, doing something that is more fun than school work. I know that you love me and you're proud of me. You don't need to tell me all the time."

"I know. I just feel like I don't know you anymore. I don't know what your interests are anymore. You were barely nine years old when I left and I've lost a lot of time with you. I have Grace and Matty figured out but I haven't taken the time with you. And I'm sorry. I was wrong in doing that."

"That's why I wanted to go bowling. It was great when we all went but I don't feel like I know you anymore either. I thought maybe if it was just you and me we could figure it out."

"We definitely can. I know that you said that I didn't have to tell you all the time, but I do love you a lot. Never question that. It may not seem like I know you anymore but I have always loved you. I have since the second you're mom told me about you, the first time I held you. I love you, Hannah. And I desperately want to get to know you again. I want something in common with you."

"I love you too, Daddy. Let's just get through today and see if we can figure something out."

"Deal."

Mike had pulled up to a stoplight. It had just turned green and Mike hit the accelerator. He didn't see the truck coming towards them on Hannah's side. The next thing he heard was the sound of tires squalling glass breaking, metal clashing and Hannah crying out in pain. The airbags had deployed and he was disoriented. It hurt to turn his head to look towards Hannah but he felt her pushed up against him and when he touched her shoulder; he came up with a handful of blood. He could hear voices outside of the truck and sirens.

All Mike could think about was Hannah. No one would tell him that she was okay and he heard a paramedic say something about lifting air care for an approximately fourteen year old with internal injuries. He had several broken ribs, a dislocated shoulder and a moderate concussion but he didn't care about any of that. Someone had called Alec when they found his commission card in his wallet and the paramedic told him that his family was enroute to the hospital. He did finally tell him that Hannah had massive internal injuries and that she had not regained consciousness.

Hannah arrived at the hospital before Mike did due to being air flighted from the scene. By the time he arrived, she was already headed to operating room. He fortunately only needed his shoulder relocated. The ribs were painful but nothing he hadn't dealt with before and while the concussion made him feel woozy; all he could think about was his critically injured fourteen year old.

Maggie, Alec, Ryan, Grace and Matty came in. Polly wanted to be there but decided it was best to stay home with the kids. Mike was absolutely wracked with guilt. Time seemed to drag by and the nurse would give him no indication how the surgery was going.

He paced, worried, and stressed. All Hannah had wanted was time with him. It was not a lot to ask for. She didn't want to do anything extraordinarily expensive. He could have taken her at any point but had put her off. It was entirely his fault. Alec had told him that the driver of the other vehicle had ran the red light, and had a blood alcohol level two times the legal limit but that didn't stop Mike from blaming himself.

The surgeons finally came in and sit Mike down. Hannah was in critical condition. There was a good possibility that she would not survive until the morning. She had numerous broken ribs, a punctured lung; they had to remove her spleen, appendix, and part of her liver. If she survived the night; the liver would regenerate within a couple months. She fortunately didn't have other injuries.

Because she was in the ICU, Matty couldn't see her. Mike asked everyone to go home after they looked in on her. He knew it bothered Grace but he needed the time alone with Hannah. She seemed to understand it and both kids gave Mike a hug and kiss. He promised to keep them all updated and he wanted them to go about their normal activities.

Mike had made a point to let everyone else visit with Hannah and hadn't really even looked at her. She looked so tiny in the bed, and her dark hair made her seem even paler. She had some lacerations which explained the blood Mike had found on her shoulder at the accident sight. They had already given her several transfusions for the blood loss. Mike held her hand and prayed. He didn't know what else to do. It was after midnight and officially Lucas' birthday but all he could think about was his little girl. His sweet, amazing, compassionate warrior princess.


	29. Chapter 29

**Five Years Later**

Chapter 29

Mike finally fell asleep with his head on Hannah's bed. It was uncomfortable and he was sore from the wreck but he needed to be that close to her. He had his hand on her wrist feeling her pulse. They had a heart monitor on her but Mike needed the physical contact.

About seven am, Hannah woke up and immediately began fighting the tube in her throat. Mike hit the call button for the nurse and held Hannah's hands down to keep her from pulling the tube out. He could see the fear and pain in her eyes and whispered reassurances in her ear. The nurse and the doctor came in and pulled the tube out of her throat. Her voice was raspy and she wouldn't let go of Mike's hand. The nurse brought in some warm apple juice to sooth her throat and gave her a painkiller to help her go back to sleep. The doctor told Mike that she would be sleeping a lot and advised him to go home now they knew that Hannah would be okay. Mike refused.

Mike crawled onto the bed with Hannah and held her until she fell asleep. It hurt his ribs considerably but he would never tell her that. She ended up laying her head on his chest and falling asleep. She was in considerable pain but had already told the doctor that she wanted to go home. It would be a couple days before she could. Despite being in some pain of his own, Mike fell asleep holding Hannah.

Grace and Polly came in and were touched by the scene. Grace knew that she would never convince her dad to leave Hannah's side so she had brought a couple changes of clothes and his shaving kit. Polly finally shook him awake and he gently laid Hannah down on the bed. They'd brought breakfast with them but Grace could tell that her dad was in a different world altogether. He was a mess of bruises and refused to wear the sling that the doctor had given him for his shoulder. She could tell he was in pain but was trying to only concentrate on Hannah.

"I didn't want to mess Matty's routine up too much so I am staying with him at the house. Any idea when she'll be released?"

"Couple days. They have to get her pain controlled first, watch her liver and for infection."

"Alright. I figure I'll bring Matty up tomorrow after school so he can see for himself that she's okay. He's been really worried about the both of you."

"Okay." Mike was rubbing his hand over his face and Grace and Polly exchanged a look. Hannah was sleeping peacefully but Mike looked like death warmed over. What shocked Grace was he hadn't really asked about her and Matty. It was odd for him, but she didn't want to overthink it. He had returned her hug when she walked in but otherwise had been quiet.

"Mike, how about you and I go for some breakfast and coffee? Hannah is sleeping and Grace needs some time with her sister. They'll be fine."

"I'm not worried about Grace, but I don't want to leave Hannah."

Grace was slightly hurt by his comment but decided not to think about it. Being at the house alone with Matty had been scary and she had barely slept. He hadn't asked how her night had gone but he might have also thought they had stayed with Maggie and Alec's.

"Hannah will be just fine. You need to eat and stretch your legs. Grace will call if there are any issues."

"Okay, I guess. Grace, make sure you call me if anything happens, please. Take care of my baby."

Mike bent down and kissed Hannah on the forehead and nodded to Grace. He headed out the door but Polly had noticed the stricken look on Grace's face. It was very odd behavior for Mike. Polly pulled Grace into a hug and kissed her on the cheek.

"He loves you too. Remember what he was like after your attack. He's blaming himself and hurting, physically and emotionally. Just be patient. I'll talk to him."

"I know. It's just not like him. I'm not so much worried about me, but he can't act like that with Matty."

Polly nodded at her and headed out the door. Mike was at the nurse's station telling them to call him if there was any change. When they got to the elevator to go to the cafeteria, there were people all around so Polly grabbed Mike's hand and squeezed it. She could feel how tense he was.

They sit down after getting their food and coffee. Mike had already checked his phone a couple times and was only picking at his food. He was not at all talkative either. Polly didn't worry easily but she was extremely worried about Mike.

"So a lot of people were praying for the two of you last night. Max included you in his bedtime prayers."

"Tell him thanks. I'm fine and don't need to be prayed for. He needs to concentrate on Hannah. She isn't out of the woods yet and has a long road ahead of her."

"Hmm. Well I beg to differ with you on that one; you need to be prayed for too. Maybe even a bit more so then Hannah."

"She's hurt. I just have bumps and bruises."

"The Navy must classify a dislocated shoulder, broken ribs and a concussion differently then I'm used to. Sounds a lot like injuries to me."

"I still have all of my liver, spleen and appendix."

"And you think it's your fault because Hannah doesn't?"

"How could it not be? It's my fault that Lucas is dead, Grace has been brutally raped and beaten and Hannah is laying up there in a hospital missing a couple organs, and Matty barely knows me. It's only a matter of time before he gets hurt. Those kids have had nothing but problems since I showed up in their lives again. They are better without me."

"And yet you stay here with Hannah?"

"Grace is still recovering. It's not fair to make her take responsibility again just yet."

"Just yet?"

"Yeah, soon as Hannah is back home, I'm out. And by home, I mean Grace's apartment."

"Matty too?"  
"Yeah him too."

"How are you gonna explain that too him?"

"Explain what?"

"That you're bowing out of his life."

"I just won't be there anymore. He's young enough, it won't matter. In a

few years he won't even remember me."

"And until then? What's Hannah and Grace supposed to tell him How are you gonna explain it to them?"

"All they've ever known, is me leaving. They'll figure it out."

"So, let me get this right. You've spent the last several years looking for them, missing them, grieving for them. You've been around a couple weeks and then you abandon them again?"

"I'm not abandoning them. I'm leaving them before one of them dies because of me. You see, I am saving them and at the same time, saving myself from a lot of heartache. It's a win win."

"I see."

"It's better for all of us."

"No, Mike. It's not. It's not better for them and it's not better for you. They need you and you need them. Without them, you're life has no meaning. You're done with the Navy and all you have is your kids."

"I have friends."

"Right, and when they hear that you've walked away from those kids they won't want anything to do with you. Alec and Maggie definitely won't. You'll have no one. And you will crawl right back into that bottle you fought your way out of for your kids."

"I thought pastors weren't supposed to judge?"

"I'm a pastor but I'm not perfect."

"Right."

"How many times in the past couple weeks have you told those kids that you love them. How many times have you hugged them, kissed them?"

"I never said I didn't love them."

"Well if you walk away, you will be telling them that."

"Before I leave, I'll tell them."

"Damn it, Mike, listen to yourself! You love those kids. You and I both know that it will break their hearts if you walk away from them because you might get hurt. What about my nephew? He idolizes you. He's gonna have to take responsibility for Matty and Hannah. Who's gonna walk Grace down the aisle when they get married? Who is gonna keep Hannah studying? Who is gonna coach Matty and Max's ball teams? What about Gabby? She adores you. And don't give me that line that someone else will step into those roles. Who is gonna help Alec with those deputies and teach them how to investigate something? Whose gonna harass Maggie with your weird taste in toast? What about me? I have to tell you, I fell in love with you the second I saw you with my kids."

Mike was completely taken aback. He hadn't been prepared for any of what Polly had said. He loved his kids with everything he had. And shockingly enough, he had fallen in love with Polly too. He had fallen for her hard. He had told himself he was crazy. He had only found out about Christine a few months before and the whole mess with Sarah had him gun shy. But somehow, Polly had inched her way into his heart. She was his exact opposite. He had also fallen in love with Max and Gabby. As far as his own kids were concerned, he couldn't stand the thought of leaving them but he also couldn't stand the thought of losing them either. They had been hit with a streak of bad luck every since he had shown up. He didn't want anything else to happen to them. Mike was deep in thought when his phone rang and he immediately answered it when he saw Grace's name on the ID.

"Daddy, Hannah's woke up and she is okay but she is worried about you since you're not here. She thinks something happened to you in the wreck and I'm lying to her."

"Okay, on my way."

Polly had gotten up and thrown their leftover food away and refilled their coffee cups. When she walked back to the table, Mike stood up and pulled her into a hug. She was so comforting. He finally pulled away from her but gave her a kiss on the forehead and grabbed her hand. He grabbed his coffee from her and they headed back to the hospital room.

"You might also give Grace a hug when you walk in. I get that you were trying to distance yourself but you kind of broke her heart. Staying by herself was a bit rough last night. She had Matty but he's only six. You didn't really even acknowledge her."

"Yeah, I guess if I pushed her away it wouldn't hurt so bad if I left."

"Well, I'm glad it's turning from 'when' to 'if'."

"Yeah, I have no idea what I was even thinking. I can't leave them. Or you, Max and Gabby. I love you too. I'm just absolutely terrified of losing anyone else. I spent all night thinking I was going to lose Hannah. I even prayed. Practically all night."

"See, I knew you had it in you. Mike, just because you fear losing someone doesn't mean that you don't need them in your life and you are allowed to love and be loved. Just make it right with Grace. It won't be hard. "

"Yeah. I will. Just can't seem to win for losing."

"Just love them. That's all you have to do."

They had reached Hannah's room and Mike could hear her crying. He hurried into her room. Grace was on the bed with her trying to comfort her but Hannah was near hysterics. Her heart rate was elevated and it was only a matter of time before the nurse came in.

"Hannah, I'm here. I just stepped out. It's okay." Mike sit down next to Grace and she released Hannah to Mike. He rocked her back and forth for a couple minutes and she finally fell back to sleep. Her heart rate had returned to normal and Mike gently laid her back down on the bed. Now to fix things with Grace.

"Honey, I'm sorry for the way I treated you. I love you so much and I've been absolutely terrified of losing any of you kids, so I was trying to, I guess, distance myself from you. If you need me to, now that I know that Hannah is going to be alright, I will come back home with you, that way you're not home, essentially by yourself. I am proud of you for facing it with so much courage. It can't have been easy."

"I love you too, Daddy. I think you should stay here. Hannah doesn't need to wake up in the middle of the night and find you not here again. She apparently didn't remember you being here when she first woke up. If it's okay, Ryan said he would stay the night. He'll sleep in a different bed of course. He's about as bummed up as me but I would feel better if you can't be there, if he is."

"He can stay in my room. I doubt anything will happen but there is a handgun in the bottom of the nightstand drawer. The one closest to the windows. And thank you, baby."

Grace pulled him into a hug, which was interesting at best, given the fact that she was in a sling still and still recovering from broken ribs. Mike should have been wearing his sling and his ribs were bothering him too. It did feel good to just hold her.

Grace and Polly stayed a couple more hours, most of which Hannah slept through. Grace made Mike promise her that he would try and get some sleep and would take care of himself too. She could tell he was in intense pain but was pretty well focused on Hannah, as she would want him to be. They were getting ready to leave, when Hannah woke up again. She immediately looked for Mike and settled down when she heard his voice. The doctor was thrilled with how she was doing, and told them she would be in the hospital at least two more days provided there were no complications and they could get her pain under control. Mike hugged and kissed both Grace and Polly. Grace could tell something had changed between her dad and Polly but choose not to say anything.

"So tonight, when Matty is getting ready for bed, call me. I will talk him to sleep. I bet he was a little hard to settle down last night."

"Yeah, he was a total bear and this morning was an adventure. He's missing you. That's why I said I would bring him up tomorrow after school."

"I can't wait to see him. You call if there any problems. I can't do anything from here but I still want to know. I hope we'll be home soon."

"Okay, Daddy. I love you."

"I love you too."

Mike gave her another hug before Polly and she left and then focused back towards Hannah. She was awake but not very alert. They had her on some pretty serious painkillers and she was still in pretty intense pain. Mike finally laid down beside her and pulled her close. He couldn't do anything about the pain but he could at least comfort her. He had decided not to tell the kids yet about the development between Polly and him. They hadn't even been on a date and had already fallen in love with one another. He knew that his kids loved Polly but he didn't want to spring anything on them. It wasn't fair to any of them to do that. He had been shocked to realize that he had already fallen in love with a woman he had barely known for a week, and had not been on a date with. It was completely illogical. He fell asleep with Hannah in his arms, thinking about Polly.


	30. Chapter 30

**Five Years Later**

Chapter 30

Mike and Hannah both slept until the early evening hours. She was finally hungry and ate every bit of the hospital food that was brought to her. She seemed more alert and the pain was about a five on a scale of one to ten. She had gotten up with assistance from the nurse and Mike and walked to the bathroom. The nurse helped her get cleaned up while Mike went to the cafeteria to get himself something to eat. When he got back she was sitting in the recliner visiting with some people Mike didn't recognize. It was Josh and his mom.

Mike was shocked at how well Hannah did with Josh. He only communicated using sign language, something Mike didn't know Hannah even knew. Both of them were laughing and Mike suspected that they were probably picking on him without him even knowing it. Josh's mom, Anna wouldn't give him any indication what was being said.

After they left, Hannah had Mike help her back to the bed. He laid down next to her to get her to go to sleep again but she was pretty restless and alert. Every time she moved it sent a twinge of pain through Mike but he would never tell her that.

"So where'd you learn sign language?"

"I like working with kids like Josh and it's a good thing to know. I just kind of picked it up."

"I'm proud of you for learning it. It's not something that is easy to learn."

"Thanks. I was supposed to help coach Josh's team at the Special Olympics meet this weekend. Hope I still can. I was really looking forward to it; I had just forgotten to say anything to you about it. Didn't figure you would mind."

"You may still feel a bit rough this weekend."

"Yeah, but I would still want to. It's important. Josh and the other kids are counting on me being there. Even if I'm just cheering for them."

"Okay, well how about this? I will be there too. If you get too worn down, you are going home. And I don't want you doing anything overly physical."

"So no running the fifty meter sprint?"

"NO!"

"What about throwing the…"

"NO!"

"Well, you're no fun."

"Get used to it."

"You'll enjoy it."

"I'll enjoy it because I'll be with you."

"Maybe. I am getting sleepy."

"Okay, sweetie. Do you need something from the nurse?"

"No. But could you hold me a little longer? You make a good pillow."

"Oh gee, thanks. But yes, I'll hold you as long as you need me too."

"I love you, Daddy."

"I love you too. Now just relax. I may step out in a bit to talk to Matty so don't get scared if you wake up and I'm not here."

Mike pulled her onto his chest and hid wincing. Hannah was just as tiny as Grace but between the broken ribs and a dislocated shoulder, even her weight was getting to him. It didn't take long for her to fall asleep but he held her awhile longer just for the sake of doing so. Grace had texted him that she was giving Matty his bath and would be calling soon. He also wanted to call Tom.

After he was convinced that Hannah was sound asleep, he scooted out from under her and very gently laid her down. Fortunately Grace had brought him his cellphone charger so it was fully charged. He grabbed the cellphone, kissed Hannah on the cheek and headed out. He stopped at the nurse's desk and told them that Hannah was sleeping and to call him if she woke. Mike headed to the cafeteria mostly because he knew he had service there and called Matty first.

"Hi, Daddy!"

"Hey, Matty. I'm missing you."

"I miss you too. When are you and Hannah gonna be home?

"Maybe the day after tomorrow. Two more sleeps. If she is still feeling good."

"Well me and Max and everyone has been prayin' for her. And you too. Gracie said you got hurt too. Did they have to cut you open too?"

"Thank you. And no, I didn't have to get cut open. Just bumps and bruises."

"But Grace said your ribs got hurt and your shoulder had to get relocated. Was it on the wrong direction? Oh, and she said your brain got scrambled a little."

"Um…kinda. But I'm okay."

"Did someone fix your brain? A scrambled brain sounds bad."

"My brain still hurts a bit but I'm okay. Has Grace tucked you in yet?"

"Ryan did. He's spending the night but he said to tell you that he promised that he would stay in your room."

"Good. Are you getting sleepy? Where's Grace?"

"She's here too. She says hi."

"Tell her hi back. How was school?"

"It was good. Me and Max played with a new kid."

"Well that's good."

"Yeah we had fun. It's a girl and she isn't gross."

"Yeah some girls aren't."

"Pastor Polly isn't gross. You should think about that, Daddy. She isn't gross and she is really pretty."

"Yes, I know that." Mike could hear both Ryan and Grace laughing hysterically in the background."

"And she doesn't think you're gross either. Max says that since neither of you think that the other one is gross, you should get married, just so he can share you with me."

"Good to know. I hear you yawning."

"Yeah, I am getting sleepy. Good night. I love you and I can't wait to see you."

"I love you too, buddy. Can you put your sister on the phone?" Mike could hear some movement and then Grace's voice came online.

"Glad to hear that you're not gross, Daddy."

"Where does he come up with this stuff at? That was insane."

"He has a good imagination. That's supposed to be good for a kid, right?"

"It is."

"Are you okay? With it being Lucas' birthday?"

"I honestly haven't thought about it. I thought this day would be horrific but it's not."

"It's been because you're thinking about everything but Lucas. You need to slow down and think about him. He deserves that."

"It'll hurt and this isn't the time or place."

"Dad, you are gonna have to deal with it at some point. You owe it to Lucas. He was an amazing little boy and he adored you. The two of you had a special relationship. Not one that Hannah and I or even Matty will ever have. I know you never played favorites but…"

" I love all you guys. "

"I don't doubt that in the least."

"But?"

"But sometimes the last gift of love is grief. You need to give Lucas that last gift. I get that it may not be the right time but you will have to deal with it sooner or later. And the sooner the better."

"I get it."

"Alright well Matty is asleep. I will head him up as soon as school is out tomorrow. And I promise, Ryan is sleeping in your room. Neither of us is ready for whatever it is you're thinking."

"Yeah, my mind is not in the gutter. Good night, sweetie. I love you."

"Love you too."

Mike hung up and stared at his coffee cup for a bit. Grace had a point but he just couldn't go there, at least while Hannah was in the hospital. Mike was just getting ready to call Tom when his phone rang. It was Tom.

"Hey, was just checking on you."

"Yeah, I was just going to call you."

"Everything okay?

"Yeah, Hannah's alive."

"Well yeah, last time I saw her she was alive. Did something change?"

"Crap, forgot to call you again. She and I were in an accident yesterday. They didn't think she'd live through the night but she did. She has a little less liver now and she's missing a couple organs but otherwise okay."

"Sounds serious."

"Yeah, broken ribs, punctured lung, lost her spleen, appendix and part of her liver."

"And you?"

"Bumps and bruises."

"Why do I think it's more than that?"

"It's nothing bad. Oh by the way, within the next couple months, I will probably be getting married and will be adopting her two kids." Mike could hear Tom choking on whatever he was drinking. It made him laugh.

"Okay I saw you less than two weeks ago and you weren't dating anyone. You put your last date in jail on several dozen murder charges. This isn't the same woman, right?"

"Oh no. Different woman. Totally different. This one is a pastor." And Tom was choking again. It was getting hilarious and Mike was having trouble suppressing his laughter.

"It's not April Fool's Day, Mike. Do you have a concussion or something?"

"Actually yes I do. Matty says my brain got scrambled."

"For being in kindergarten he's smart. Must have gotten that from Christine."

"Yeah he did. She's Maggie's sister."

"So your nephew is going to be your son-in-law? Mike, you need to have those docs check you over closer."

"They have already and you make it sound weird."

"It is a bit. How long have you known her?"

"A week and her name is Polly."

"Okay so a week after you've met a woman, a pastor, nonetheless you're engaged and adopting her kids?"

"Yeah. And we haven't actually gone on a date. She did buy my breakfast this morning if that counts and I haven't actually asked her yet and I need to buy a ring yet."

"Are the kids okay with this? Have you met her kids?"

"Oh yeah, they're good with it. And yeah, I've met Max and Gabby. Max is on Matty's ball team and Gabby is only six months old. She apparently hates everybody but me and her mom."

"Sounds like she has your personality. So are you sure you've only just met this woman. Where exactly were you about fifteen months ago?"

"Cute."

"So what happened to the kid's father?"

"Gabby's was killed in the line of duty. Responding to a domestic call, hit by a drunk driver. Max is a result of a rape while Polly was in college."

"She didn't give him up?"

"No. She's really helping Grace. Grace refused to see counselor so she talks to Polly instead."

"Wow. I'm still trying to wrap my brain around you getting married to a Pastor. She must be something special."

"I think so. Like I said, I haven't asked yet. She'll say yes though."

"Your confidence is inspiring. You need to buy her a huge rock. She'll be dealing with you for the rest of her life and that might be challenging. She'll deserve it. No one bought me a ring for having to deal with you and all your little quirks all those years."

"Price of friendship."

"Yeah, okay. So how are you doing since its Lucas' birthday?"

"Trying not to think about it since I'm here with Hannah."

"Mike just because Hannah is hurt and in the hospital doesn't mean you can't think about your son."

"I've thought about Matty several times today, just got off the phone with him."

"Lucas, Mike. Not Matty. Lucas was your son too. Are you trying to forget about Lucas because finally dealing with the fact that he died may hurt?"

"I can't forget about Lucas. And I've dealt with his death."

"Alright, I won't argue with you but I will say this. I've been around since Lucas died, not every single moment but a lot of them. I can't imagine losing a child but I do know that at some point you are going to have to acknowledge the fact that he existed and he died."

"Yeah I know. Just dreading that moment."

"Lucas deserves it."

"Yeah I get it."

"Listen, I need to get going but you call me if you need me."

"Will do, thanks so much."

"Anytime."

Mike hung up and headed back to Hannah's room before he got lost in thought. It wasn't that he was trying to forget Lucas. He would never be able to do that. He would always think "what if" and he definitely was not trying to replace Lucas with Matty. It wasn't fair to either of them to do that. Lucas had been an amazing little boy that would never have the opportunity to grow up. He had to focus on his kids that were still alive. They needed him. Lucas was at peace wherever he was.

When he got back to Hannah's room, she had woke back up and was reading a book that Grace had brought her. She offered Mike a bright smile and he sit down next to her. The nurse had brought in a cot for him to sleep on but he liked being close to her even if it caused him pain. She propped herself up on his bad shoulder and continued reading. He kissed the top of her head and closed his eyes, almost immediately falling asleep.


	31. Chapter 31

**Five Years Later**

Chapter 31

The surgeons were so impressed with how Hannah was doing that they decided to release her that early afternoon if she walked herself to the bathroom with no assistance. She immediately got up and did just that. While she was using the bathroom, the surgeon explained to Mike what he would need to watch for. Her immune system was a little compromised and the liver would take time to regrow. It would have to be monitored closely. Hannah was resilient and just slightly stubborn.

The nurse insisted that she check Mike over too. He would have rather it not be in front of Hannah but also didn't want to leave her. When he took his shirt off and Hannah saw the dark blue bruises covering his chest, sides and shoulder, he could see the pain in her eyes. He had just not bothered telling her that he had been hurt too. Once she was done, he put his shirt back on and sit down next to Hannah.

"Daddy, why didn't you tell me you were hurt too? I wouldn't have laid on you like I have."

"I didn't mind holding you. My injuries are pretty minor."

"Your whole chest is black. That doesn't seem minor."

"I'll be fine. Don't you worry about me."

"I still feel bad."

"I feel worse because you were hurt. I'm gonna call Grace and see about getting a ride out of this place. You'll be okay?"

"Yeah, I'm okay. Can she bring me clothes?"

"I'm sure she will." Mike leaned down and gave her a kiss on the top of the head and smoothed her hair down. He told the nurse on the way out that he was stepping away for a minute to secure a ride home. She was going to help Hannah with her bath and washing her hair. He walked to the waiting room and made his call.

"Hey, sweetie."

"Hey. I am working a couple hours and then I'll pick Matty up. School gets out early today."

"Okay. Run by the house if you don't care. Hannah wants clothes. She's coming home today."

"Little soon?"

"Doc says she's bouncing back and will recover better at home."

"Well I'll be glad to have you guys home. I can leave work and pick Matty up earlier…"

"Nah, just go about your normal day. It won't hurt her to stay here a couple hours longer."

"Oh, I forgot to tell you last night. Matty wanted to bake a cake since it was Lucas' birthday yesterday. He'll want to cut it since you'll be home tonight."

"That'll be strange."

"He doesn't understand it, Daddy. He wants to invite Polly, Max and Gabby."

"Uh…"

"I think it's a good idea. I'll call Polly."

"I suppose."

"Alright well Matty gets out of school at one. I'll pick him up and head straight there after picking up clothes for Hannah. Do you need anything?"

"No I'm good. I'll look for you about two thirty, three o'clock. Be careful and I love you."

"Love you too."

Mike hung up and headed back to Hannah's room. He wasn't sure how he felt about having a birthday party for his dead son. It just seemed weird. Lucas would have been twelve. It was hard not to imagine what he would have become.

Hannah was freshly bathed and Mike could tell she felt better. They spent the morning, with Hannah teaching Mike how to sign. He wasn't sure he would ever completely learn it, but it was kind of nice to share something with just Hannah. It would be a long time before either of them was up for bowling and Mike never imagined himself helping at a Special Olympics meet but it was something that Hannah was very passionate about. She lit up when she talked about Josh and the other kids like him.

After lunch, Hannah napped for a little while before Grace and Matty showed up. Grace texted Mike and told him that she had gotten her work done and Alec let her off just before noon so she would get Hannah's clothes and head straight up after picking Matty up. She also told him that Polly, Max and Gabby would be there for "Lucas' birthday party." It still seemed really strange to being having a party for Lucas and Mike started texting Polly while Hannah was resting.

 _"So I hear you and the kids are coming for dinner tonight?"_

 _"Yeah, and for 'Lucas' birthday party.' Is that okay with you?"_

 _"I'll be happy to see you all."_

 _"I hear a 'but' somewhere in that?"_

 _"I love seeing you all. It's just weird to have a birthday party for my dead son."_

 _"He was also Hannah and Grace's brother. Matty's too, even though the two boys never met. Your loss is a massive one. No one recovers from losing a child but the girls need to grieve for him too. Their loss isn't as massive as yours but it is still significant. What have you done in years past when his birthday came around? What about you and Christine's anniversary, her birthday?"_

 _"Our anniversary and her birthday aren't until later in the year so I'm not sure how I'll react. I would just ignore the calendar when Lucas' birthday came around. Usually I was busy or deployed and that theory worked."_

 _"Not this year though?"_

 _"It's been on my mind, despite Hannah being injured."_

 _"How old was Lucas when he died?"_

 _"Almost seven. He'd be twelve now."_

 _"So the same age as Matty? Max too?"_

 _"I hadn't done the math."_

 _"My guess is, this year you are going to be hyper focused on Matty. He's the same age Lucas was when he died. And as you bond with Max, you'll focus in on his age too."_

 _"So, I'll be more protective of them?"_

 _"Yeah. And you are already pretty overprotective of your girls. I would guess you will be worse with Matty and in time, Max too."_

 _"Okay, just so you know, I do love Max and Gabby."_

 _"And I appreciate that. I know that you and I are getting pretty serious pretty quickly, and the fact that you already love my kids means the world to me. In time I know that you will love them as much as you do your own kids and will treat them exactly the same. But the bond, especially with Max, will be slightly different."_

 _"How so and why would the bond between Max and Gabby be different?"_

 _"I'm not implying or pressuring anything when I say this, but if we get married, you will be the only father Gabby will have ever known. Max may not remember Paul later on, but he will know that at one point he had another dad."_

 _"I see. It makes sense now that you say it. And by the way, as far as 'if we get married,' I was waiting on us to actually have a first date before I popped the question. I haven't bought a ring yet either. What's your size?"_

 _"You're a mess. So what's Hannah up to? I heard Josh and Anna came to visit yesterday."_

 _"She's sleeping. Yeah, they did. Did you know that Hannah knows sign language? She learned it because she likes working with kids like Josh."_

 _"Gives you a new perspective on her?"_

 _"Yeah, I truly know next to nothing about her. She also likes to coach Josh at the Special Olympics."_

 _"She's pretty special."_

 _"No argument here. She's always been compassionate. She got it from her mom. A couple weeks ago, I thought she was a brat but now…"_

 _"Even at her worst, she was still helping kids like Josh. Remember her getting into those fist fights? And I see a little bit of her dad shining through where she's concerned."_

 _"Yeah, she can be so impatient and opinionated. Bad temper too."_

 _"Well, she has nothing but patience for Josh and the other 'especially able kids.' And I would say that you have some compassion too. You've sit for hours at both of your daughter's bedsides. You've shown Max how to pitch his baseball and Gabby adores you. That in itself is a miracle. I think she's missing you, in fact."_

 _"Not sure about all that. As far as Gabby is concerned, I have no idea what I've done to make her like me."_

 _"She likes me, Maggie, Alec and Max. But you? She loves you."_

 _"You're her mom. I bet she loves you too."_

 _"She smiles at you more than anyone else. And Alec told me that she was giving you kisses Sunday in church?"_

 _"Yeah. I always loved it when the girls did that. Lucas too."_

 _"Well, she doesn't give anyone else kisses. Not even me."_

 _"I'm starting to feel bad. I'll give you a kiss, how's that?"_

 _"Well your kisses are a little different than a six month old's."_

 _"I wasn't sure where that fell in the ground rules."_

 _"We can kiss."_

 _"On the…"_

 _"Yes but that's it."_

 _"I can deal with that. But I don't want a very long engagement."_

 _"We haven't been on a date yet, we're already engaged and how long is a not very long engagement?"_

 _"What are you doing next week? Think you could take a day or so off work?"_

 _"MICHAEL!"_

 _"If I was in the same room with you and you verbally said that, I would almost mistake you for my mother. You just didn't include my middle name."_

 _"Yeah, I'm gonna ask Grace what it is."_

 _"I haven't mentioned any of this to the kids. They won't have a problem with it but…"_

 _"It's okay. I didn't figure you'd had. You've been a bit preoccupied."_

 _"Yeah, sorry."_

 _"Nothing to be sorry for. We might want to go on a date first anyway. You may decide you don't like me. Besides, we lost our babysitter. No way Hannah is going to feel up to looking after two six year olds and a baby."_

 _"No. But I wouldn't put it past her to try. She doesn't understand how rough this recovery might be. As far as not liking you, I don't just like you, I love you."_

 _"I love you too…and I'm still asking your daughter what your middle name was. I have the mom voice down."_

 _"Oh Lord. Problem is, I think my daughter does too. When Grace is frustrated with me she calls me 'Dad' but any other time it's 'Daddy.' What's with that?"_

 _"I used to do the same with my dad. My guess is, Hannah will start doing it too."_

 _"Where are your parents?"_

 _"They died before the virus. Car accident just after I had Max. I had him a week before and they weren't thrilled with my decision to keep him and weren't thrilled with Maggie for helping me. So that's how things were when they died."_

 _"I'm sorry."_

 _"Not much can be done about it. Maggie and Alec's kids died not long after the virus broke so it was all within a few months of each other."_

 _"I hate that. They don't talk about them that much. I wouldn't have even known about Ryan if it wasn't for Grace mentioning him."_

 _"They are private. Ryan is a lot more outgoing than his parents. After Aiden and McKenna died, they shut down even more."_

 _"But they've let me into their world?"_

 _"Yeah. You're a part of your kid's world, so Maggie and Alec wanted you in their world. They adore your kids."_

 _"I appreciate everything they've done for them. Initially it was hard not to resent them for having the time with my kids that I had lost but then I realized it wasn't right and I should just be thankful for them."_

 _"They needed your kids as much as your kids needed them. Maybe a bit more."_

 _"Yeah, so Hannah is waking up and Grace and Matty will be here soon. I am glad that you and the kids will be there tonight. I don't know how I'm gonna react to having a birthday cake for Lucas. You being there will be a good distraction."_

 _"You don't need a distraction, you need the reality. But I will be a shoulder to cry on if you need it."_

 _"I appreciate that, and you're the second person to say the same thing this week. I think you and my best friend have been talking."_

 _"Never met him or talked to him but it's something that Ryan said this week and it's stuck."_

 _"He got it from the same person. You'll meet him. I've already told him we're getting married. He thinks you're a figment of my imagination. And you being a pastor really shocked him."_

 _"Well you did go from a serial killer to a pastor. That is a shift."_

 _"And Christine was a teacher before she become a stay at home mom."_

 _"That isn't so bad."_

 _"Yeah, so Hannah is moving around a lot and when she first wakes up, it's usually rough. You do need to tell me what your ring size is so I can start looking for just the right one. I love you."_

 _"Take care of your girl. Love you too."_

 _"Ring size?"_

 _"LOL."_

Hannah was in some pretty severe pain but refused the pain medication because it would make her drowsy and she wanted to go home. There was no way Mike could get her up the steps with his shoulder still being sore and Hannah would never allow him to try it. Hannah was on the verge of tears and Mike was getting ready to call the nurse and ask for the medication anyway when Grace and Matty walked in. Fortunately Hannah had been moved to a regular room so Matty could visit. He immediately ran up to Mike for a hug. Mike had to sit down on the chair before he could hug because he couldn't lift him. It made him feel bad.

The surgeon came in and Hannah bluffed her way through the exam. Mike knew what she was doing and knew she was in pain but also knew that once she got home she would be happier and he could force her to rest. She just wanted to go home. There was no fever, no signs of infection, her labs looked good and her vitals were good. The ultrasound of her liver showed some new growth which thrilled Mike. He had been terrified that it wouldn't grow back. The doctor gave him the indications he needed to know for if something started going wrong and what needed to be done. Hannah would be having weekly check-ups for a while.

Matty stayed with Mike and Hannah and helped her get settled into a wheelchair. The nurse explained the medications that Hannah would be on and how often she could have pain medication. He would have to watch her skin and everything. The doctor had told him it might not hurt to get a home health aide for at least a little while but Hannah was resistant to that. The nurse explained to her that she would need help with her baths and Grace couldn't help her since she was still recovering. Hannah had an answer for everything and told her that Maggie or Polly would help her. Mike finally got her packed up, bundled up and released. Anytime the wheelchair jarred, Hannah was fighting tears and Mike wanted to head her right back into the hospital room and put her back in the bed but she was thrilled to be going home.

Mike gave her a dose of pain medication as they got her in the car. Getting her in the house would be interesting but Grace called Alec and him and a deputy would be waiting for them. Mike hated depending on other people but there was no way he could carry her up the steps and she was out for the count. She had flopped over and was leaning against Matty who was also asleep.


	32. Chapter 32

**Five Years Later**

Chapter 32

It took a bit to get Hannah settled in on the couch. Mike was thankful for Alec being there because she was too out of it to walk up the steps. She would have never gotten up them without tripping. Mike covered her with a blanket and she almost instantly fell asleep.

Polly and the kids weren't due until about six and so Mike and Mattie cuddled up in the recliner with a blanket over them watching reruns of Disney cartoons. It was the same ones that Lucas would always wake Mike up to watch early every Saturday morning if he wasn't deployed and Mattie was fascinated with them. Mike was trying to simply focus on Mattie or Hannah and not the cartoon. Grace was in the kitchen working on supper. She would occasionally bring Mike a jar to open and she must have noticed something with Mike because at one point she bent down and asked him if he was okay. He lied to her and told her he was.

Polly, Max and Gabby came in and Max actually was the one that sit in Mike's lap. Mattie had fallen asleep on his other side and so Max carefully settled on his bad side. Gabby had been asleep when they came in and so Polly had laid her on Mike's bed with pillows around her. He knew he was going to have to figure out a sleeping situation for both Max and Gabby in the near future. He had made a remark to Grace on the way home that things with Polly were getting serious and to not be surprised if they beat her and Ryan to the altar. Grace was thrilled. Max would be okay with sharing a room with Mattie but Mike hated the idea of Grace's room getting turned into Gabby's. He wanted Grace to feel she still had a home there even once she moved out. It was a conundrum. Max was trying to keep his movements to a minimum but seemed off.

"You okay, Max?"

"Yeah, kinda."

"Just kinda?"

"Yeah." He had looked towards Polly who was helping Grace in the kitchen, and towards Hannah and Matty. It was almost like he was trying to decide rather he should tell Mike something.

"You know I love you and you can tell me anything, right?"

"Yeah I know and I love you too."

"How about I lay Matty down next to his sister and you and I go to the dock and see if we can catch a fish?" Max nodded and got off his lap. Mike picked Matty up and laid him down on the opposite end of the couch and told Polly that they were going to try and catch a fish. She and Grace both smiled at him and they headed out the door hand in hand. Mike grabbed the fishing poles but Max didn't seem too interested in fishing.

"Okay, what's going on buddy? You know you can tell me and I won't get mad."

"Are you and my mommy gonna get married?"

"Would you be okay with it if we did?"

"Yeah."

"But…?"

"Well, I won't be your kid like Hannah, Grace and Matty and you might not like having me and Gabby here. That new friend of mine and Matty's only moved here to live with her grandma because her mom married someone different and he didn't like her. She's really sad and misses her mommy. I don't want to live somewhere different then my mommy if you guys get married."

Mike pulled Max onto his lap and kissed the top of his head. The little guy was obviously distressed and he was tearing up. Mike had to choose his words carefully because they hadn't made a formal announcement that they were going to get married because of their relationship being so unorthodox. Even though his kids loved Polly, they might not like how quickly things had moved. Mike was without a shadow of a doubt in love with Polly and wanted to marry her but he also needed her kids to know that he was also adopting them, which was going to be difficult since he hadn't really discussed that with Polly.

"I can promise you with absolute certainty that you will not live somewhere else if your mom and I get married. I want you and Gabby here with me as much as I want Hannah, Matty and Grace here. I know you and I haven't known each other for long at all but I do love you and I love your mom and Gabby."

"You can't get hurt and die like my other daddy did. It made us all really sad and if you go and do something stupid like that, I'll get mad at you."

"I have absolutely no plans of getting hurt and dying in the next few decades. Besides your other daddy didn't do anything stupid."

"How many is a decade? Is it a long time?"

"Yeah ten years. So four more years then you are now. And I don't plan on getting hurt again for a couple decades. A couple is three to four. So thirty to forty years."

"You need to not plan on getting hurt for like ten hundred decades. That's a lot."

"Okay sounds good to me if you agree to the same thing."

"Deal!" Max threw his arms around Mike's neck and gave him a big hug. Mike suspected that his and Hannah's accident had scared the little boy. He had already lost one daddy. He was scared of losing another. It was also obvious that he and Polly were going to have to make some sort of announcement very quickly. If Max was already suspecting something, it was only a matter of time before the other kids did. Mike was worried about what his kids, especially his girls, would think. Grace was on board with the idea but she was probably figuring that it was months or even a year down the road. Hannah was the wild card.

Mike and Max headed inside where supper was almost on the table. It smelled delicious. He wanted a moment to himself with Polly but Gabby was waking up and needed fed and Hannah needed to be woke up which was a job for Mike; at least until Gabby realized that he was close by and fixated on him. It was fun to watch the interactions between Polly and Grace while he was gently waking Hannah up. Polly had an interest in art and suggested they go to an art exhibit in the city the next week. Mike could tell Grace was excited about it.

Hannah was groggy and cold. Her sweatshirts were a little too form fitting so Mike put one of his sweatshirts on her. They almost hit Hannah's knees and he had to roll the sleeves up for her so she could eat without making a mess. Polly came in and French braided Hannah's long hair to make it easier for her. After she headed for the bathroom, Polly changed Gabby's diaper before dinner. The little girl focused on Mike and barely noticed what was going on. She typically fussed through her diaper changes. It also gave Mike a chance to tell Polly what Max's concerns were and that they would need to make an announcement quickly.

"So, Max and I had a bit of a conversation."

"I figured so when you took him outside."

"He knows that we want to get married. I just asked him if he was okay with it, didn't tell him one way or another. He is okay with it other than he's scared I won't like him as well and he won't be able to live with you. And he doesn't want me to get hurt or die for ten hundred decades. His words. We're gonna have to tell the other kids soon. Assuming of course that you actually want to get married?"

Polly came around the bed and kissed Mike squarely on the lips. It was amazing and he prolonged it as long as possible. It was soft and sweet and felt good. He was breathless when he finally pulled away and Gabby was giggling at them or giggling at the fact that she had gotten her sock off. Polly bent over and picked her up and she immediately reached for Mike. As Mike took her, Polly reached over and kissed his cheek and whispered, "Answer is yes. I'll marry you. You need to talk to the kids and my suggestion is do it individually, especially where the girls are concerned."

Mike nodded at her and returned the kiss. His biggest concern was Hannah. She loved Polly but loving her as a friend was different then having her as a stepmom. Grace and Polly had a special relationship but Mike didn't want her to feel like she was being pushed out, even if she was ready to move out. He was nervous about the whole situation.

The kids had the table set and the food in serving bowls and dishes. It was an amazing spread. Polly had the foresight to bring in a high chair for Gabby. Polly was trying her on some regular food and so she was next to Polly getting spoon fed mashed potatoes, gravy and cranberry sauce. Polly had said the blessing over the food which was not something Mike was used to but the kids were completely used to. It was a happy meal full of laughter and jokes. Hannah, who was in obvious pain, was even joining in on some of the jokes. Mike found himself the butt of several of Grace and Hannah's stories.

Mike had dreaded the birthday cake for Lucas. Grace hadn't told him that she expected him to blow the candles out and cut it. He dished up each piece of the cake, except for his own and excused himself, heading for the dock. As much as he loved every single person at the table, he needed a moment.

Polly knew that someone needed to go out after Mike but Gabby was still eating and she didn't want to leave her. Grace finally leaned over and told her that she would go out. She could tell that she felt bad about forcing the issue. Mike needed to grieve but no one wanted him to be alone.

Grace grabbed a sweatshirt for her dad knowing he probably wouldn't wear it, a cigar and his lighter off his dresser. She felt horribly about the whole situation and she knew that Polly really wanted to be the one to go outside but since it was Grace that forced the issue it was better that she dealt with it. As she stepped out on the deck and headed down the steps to the dock, it sounded like her dad was sobbing, which is absolutely broke her heart. Once on the dock, she sit the sweatshirt, cigar and lighter down and sit down next to Mike. She didn't know what to do other than to grab his hand and squeeze it. They sit like that for probably a half hour. Surprisingly, Grace didn't cry but it broke her heart every time she heard her dad let out a sob.

Mike felt like a horrible host and he wasn't even sure what had got to him. It had bothered him that he couldn't cut a piece of the cake for Lucas. He felt robbed of that. Felt robbed of his son, robbed of his birthdays, his future. His laughter, his jokes. His future wedding, he was robbed of ever holding Lucas' future babies, ever seeing him become a man. He wasn't angry though, just so very sad. He had three beautiful kids and soon to be two more, an amazing fiancée. He had a life most men would be jealous of but he also wanted his other little boy back, wanted all those futures that he had been robbed of.

He had thought that he wanted to be alone but Grace being there, not talking just holding his hand, was so comforting. When he finally quit crying as hard, she stood up and grabbed him a sweatshirt and a cigar and lighter. It was a kind gesture. He lit up and started smoking it. Grace had sat back down next to him but hadn't said a word. He could tell she felt badly, like she had caused it. Thankfully she had sat on his good side and he put his arm around her and pulled her close, kissing her on the temple.

"I love you, sweetheart. My reaction to the cake was not your fault. I guess I needed to have that sort of reaction at some point or another and the cake and what it symbolized, was the tipping point."

"I love you too, Daddy. I know Polly is really worried about you."

"Yeah, I'll finish this cigar and go back in. I appreciate you bringing it. If you want to go back up to the house, I'll be okay, I promise."

"I'll stay here with you. If you don't want to talk, it's fine. But I'm not leaving you. Max and Matty don't understand what was happening in there. Hannah can't handle those steps and Gabby was still eating so Polly needed to stay with her. So that's why I'm here. You're stuck with me."

"I'm good with that."

"If you aren't going to wear that sweatshirt though...?"

"Yeah, here. Sorry, should have realized you were cold."

"It's okay but I do need help with my arm." Mike sit the cigar on the bannister and helped her pull her arm through. She hadn't been wearing her sling and he could tell her arm was bothering her. He wasn't sure it was the right moment to tell her about him and Polly but it needed to be done sooner rather than later and he might need help with Hannah.

"You know earlier in the car when I told you that Polly and I were getting serious and that we might beat you and Ryan to the altar?"

"Yeah, Daddy, I'm good with it. I love Polly. She reminds me a lot of Mom."

"I hadn't thought of that but I can see the similarities in their personalities. She's comforting."

"Yeah, she is that."

"Sweetie, I know that this seems crazy because Polly and I have only known each other for a couple weeks and haven't been on a date but I've already asked her to marry me and she has said yes. I know it's a bit soon…"

"I'm happy for you guys. I am. I love you both."

"You don't think we're crazy?"

"Ryan and I had only kind of dated for six months before we started talking about getting married. And we are a lot younger than you two. You have had more experiences and what not. I would say, if you're sure this is what you want and you love each other, than the amount of time shouldn't matter to anyone. "

"Okay, well I love you too and I know that Polly does too. I do have two issues that I need help with."

"Hannah is one and Gabby having a place to sleep is the other?"

"Yeah. I love having you here but I do know you wanted to move back to your apartment. I had planned on fixing the kitchen island on Monday. I still plan on doing that but I want to make it clear that you will always have a home here. If I need to build a bedroom on I will. I don't want you to feel that you don't have a place within this family, just simply because we've moved Gabby into your bedroom here."

"I'm fine with it, Daddy. The bedroom is only a room. You guys are my family and my home. I don't need a bedroom for that. Just you all."

"I appreciate that. I just never wanted you to feel I was moving you out and moving Gabby in. You have a very special place in this family, in this home and in my heart. I am very concerned about how Hannah will react to the news of Polly and I get married, especially so soon. I know that she hasn't really let your mom go.

"I think she's come to grips with it. Having you here has helped considerably. You have to be the one to tell her though, you owe her that much. If she has a bad reaction, I will help but I think she'll be okay. She loves you and she loves Polly."

"Yeah but loving Polly as a friend and pastor is different than loving her as a stepmom."

"I think Polly is going to have issues with the whole 'stepmom' thing. She'll be like a mom, a friend and a pastor to us."

"Just worried about it. I maybe overthinking it but…"

"Daddy, Hannah has been through a lot in just a couple weeks. She loves you. She needs you and she needs Polly. She also loves Max and Gabby. She has a lot of healing to do. We all do. And we can heal…together."

"You've been through a lot too, maybe more…"

"Yeah, and I'm healing. That's why moving back to my apartment is important. It'll be hard, it'll hurt. As crazy as it sounds, I would kind of like for you guys to stay with me the first night. You, Hannah, Matty, Polly, Max, Gabby, Ryan, Alec, and Maggie. I know it won't be a true night alone; but it'll be the first night in that apartment. I want you all there."

"And we will be there. You're so amazing, Grace."

"Thanks, and that is weird the way you said that."

"You're mom named you for that song."

"I never knew that."

"Yeah, soon as we found out that she was pregnant, she was absolutely determined that you were a girl. I was holding out for a boy, not that I wasn't thrilled with you. We had gone to a funeral for someone; and heard that song. Soon as we got in the car, she bluntly told me that you would be a girl and you were going to be named Grace. She was only about three months along then and it was too early to tell by the ultrasound. She was so sure, we didn't actually find out until you were born."

"Had you stayed sure about me being a boy the whole time?"

"Well, when we packed the bag for the hospital, I still wasn't convinced. Your mom had all this pink stuff, headbands and all. I put a sleeper for a boy that I'd bought in my bag just in case. We didn't use that sleeper until Lucas was born. We also didn't find out with Hannah or Lucas and I took it to the hospital with both of them."

"Did Mom think Hannah was a girl and Lucas was a boy?"

"She was sure Hannah was a girl and when she was pregnant with Lucas, she never told me. Course, I was deployed almost her entire pregnancy and I couldn't call home or email on that mission so…"

"That had to have been rough."

"I was worried about you all, but your mom was only a couple weeks along when I left so she didn't even know. I came home when she was eight months along. It was a surprise."

"But a good one?"

"Yeah, I was thrilled. I just wished I had been there to support her. It wasn't an easy pregnancy for her. I can't imagine Matty's was either."

"It actually wasn't bad. I remember her making a couple remarks that she imagined that it would be like when you come home when she was pregnant with Lucas. I know what she meant now."

"She was an amazing wife and mom. And Polly is not a replacement."

"Yeah she was. And Polly will be too. She's what we all need for this stage in our lives. We'd better get inside. They're gonna think we fell in the pond."

"Yep." They both stood up and Mike pulled her into a huge hug. She was definitely amazing. His kids all were. They pulled apart and walked up the steps with his arm around her shoulders. As they come up on the deck, he looked in and saw the two boys playing on the floor and Hannah and Polly sitting on the couch. Hannah was holding Gabby and looking at Polly and smiling. He couldn't see Gabby's face but the way she was waving her arms, she looked happy. It made him feel content.


	33. Chapter 33

**Five Years Later**

Chapter 33

Gabby and Hannah had a special bond and despite how much pain Hannah was in, she held Gabby pretty much all evening. As much as Gabby loved Mike, she seemed only interested in Hannah. Mike stayed next to Hannah the rest of the night so if she needed help, he was close, but Hannah seemed thrilled that Gabby was starting to like her just a bit. Gabby went to sleep with Hannah holding her and Hannah quickly fell asleep leaning into Mike. The boys were still playing on the floor and Grace was showing Polly some of her artwork that she had been working on while she was living with Mike and recovering from her attack. Mike was biased but he thought it was all beautiful.

When it was time for Polly and the kids to leave, he gently pulled Gabby out of Hannah's arms and handed her to Polly while he eased Hannah into a better sleeping position. He helped Polly get both kids situated into the car and kissed the three of them good bye. Hannah was still sound asleep, so he gave Matty a bath and got him geared down for bed. Matty asked to sleep with him that night and so Mike tucked him into his bed, but warned him it would be awhile before he actually went to sleep himself. He wanted to talk to Hannah if she stayed awake long enough. Grace knew what he was doing and went to her bedroom as soon as she had the kitchen cleaned up and had given Mike a hug and kiss.

Hannah finally woke up about a half hour after Grace went to bed. She actually seemed like she was feeling pretty good and Mike and she shared a piece of the cake. She was telling Mike all about the Special Olympics event that weekend and what they would be doing. She was so excited about it. Mike knew since she was feeling good at the moment it was time for him to tell her about him and Polly.

"So, um, I don't know if you had noticed or not but Polly and I have gotten pretty serious…"

"Yeah, I had noticed it. I love Polly. It's okay."

"Okay, well it's a bit more than dating. I know its crazy, and you may not like this, but I have already asked her to marry me, and she has said yes. You have a right to not like it. I know it's fast and it's odd since we have never dated. I have no real good explanation as to why we've moved so quickly and I have no idea when we will actually get married. I'd love for it to be soon but I also want to give you time to digest all this."

"I love Polly, and I love you."

"I love you too, and I know Polly does. I do hear a but in there though."

"Mom isn't coming back and she's been gone a long time. I miss her really bad but she wouldn't want me to be the one that would hold you and Polly back. And I think she would really like Polly too. Polly is a lot like her."

"Sweetie, I will always love your mom. I will always miss her. Polly is not a replacement for your mom. I would never ask her to be. Yes, there are some similarities and maybe that's what attracted me. She also will never want to replace your mom's place in your life or in your heart or in mine. That is especially just for your mom. I don't want you to act okay with this if you're not. If you need time to process it, then Polly and I will respect that. We both love you. This is your call. It might not change the end result but you have a right to feel however you want to about it. If you're completely against it, I will ask that you treat Polly with respect, which I don't think you have a problem with and understand that we both love you."

"How about this, give me a couple days to figure out what I think about it? Maybe I can spend some time with Polly? And you too? I am gonna have to work on my school work here now, and you're not much good at English. Maybe she would help me? I know you're good at Math and Science, and all."

"Alright, I will explain it to Polly and I'm sure she will be thrilled to help you in whatever way that you need. Is there anything fun that you would like to do with her?"

"Not much that I can do right now. I'll think about it though. Sorry I'm being the one that is causing you problems with marrying Polly. I seem to just cause trouble."

"Sweetie, I knew it might be hard for you to adjust to. You're not causing us a problem. You actually have reacted better then I figured you would have. If at any point you have any questions, concerns or frustrations, I want you to come to me or Polly."

"What about the other kids? What do they think?"

"I had specifically not mentioned them because I didn't want you to feel pressured. I want you to have your opinions and concerns not based on Grace or Matty. I have talked to Grace and she is happy with everything. She is prepared to help you adjust if need be but I don't want her to pressure you either. As far as Matty is concerned, I haven't actually told him yet, but it's kind of obvious what his opinion will be."

"What about Max and Gabby?"

"Gabby is young enough that it's not going to throw her too much. I did notice how well you were doing with her and she seems to really love you. As far as Max is concerned, he was actually the first one to suspect that his mom and I wanted to get married. Polly and I haven't done much discussing, but at some point, I do want to adopt them."

"I figured that you would want to. Gabby is sweet."

"Honey, I don't want you to feel pressured because I want to adopt them. I also want you to know and understand that I will always love you the same exact amount that I always have. It's not going to change simply because I've acquired two more kids. If you want time with me, you ask. If you want time with Polly, you ask. We will make it work."

"Okay. Just give me a couple days and please be patient with me? I do love you both. And please give me the benefit of the doubt. Don't just immediately expect me to be all bratty about it."

"Sounds like a plan. Like I said, you're doing better than I figured you would. I definitely shouldn't have doubted you."

"Daddy, I love you. I am really tired and hurting so I am going to go to bed. Just please don't doubt me or expect me to have a problem with you and Polly getting married. I appreciate you telling me it's alright to be not be okay with it. I am mostly okay with it, if that makes you feel better. I guess I need to just figure out what my place is, especially where Polly is concerned. That's why I wanted time with her. Now I'm going to go to bed."

"I love you too, sweetheart. You wake me up if you need me. I will talk to Polly and I am sure that she will help you and find something fun for you and her to do. She loves you too and she will never want to replace your mom. She will want her own special relationship with you. As far as doubting you, sorry, sweetie. Do you need some pain medicine?"

"I don't really want it, but I do think I might need it. Can Polly or Maggie help me with a bath and wash my hair tomorrow?"

"I am sure one of them will."

"Okay, goodnight, Daddy. I love you." Mike gave her the dose of medication that she needed and helped her into her bed, tucking her blankets in close. He leaned down and kissed her forehead and said "I love you too, and wake me up if you need me."

He was pretty sure that she was sound asleep by the time he had walked out of the door. He had figured one thing out about her that night, not to guess what her reaction would be to anything. He had figured that she would have a wall-eyed fit about him and Polly getting married.

It was too late to call Tom so he texted Polly to see if she was still awake. He wanted to go back to the dock but it was chilly and he wanted to be close in case Hannah needed him. He tidied up the living room from all the kid clutter and finally heard Polly text him back.

 _"Yeah, working on some children's church stuff."_

 _"Okay, I hate that I bothered you…"_

 _"You're not. Did you talk to the kids?"_

 _"Grace is good with everything. Hannah is basically okay. She is kind of on the fence but she loves you. She asks that we give her a couple days. She also wants to spend some time with you. Needs help with her English."_

 _"I can do that."_

 _"Might find some fun stuff to do with her too. Not sure exactly what since I'm struggling with that myself."_

 _"She's a teenage girl, Mike. It won't be hard. I have an idea for something."_

 _"Is it something I can do?"_

 _"No. Not unless you want to make jewelry?"_

 _"Uh, no. But speaking of which, ring size?"_

 _"I have fat fingers. A nine. But here's a suggestion, have Hannah help you find one?"_

 _"You don't have fat anything. And that's a thought. I hadn't thought of having my girls help me."_

 _"Just Hannah. It will make her feel included."_

 _"Okay. Do you have any preferences?"_

 _"On a ring?"_

 _"Yeah, what were you thinking? Surely, you're mind wasn't in the gutter?"_

 _"Maybe."_

 _"Okay, you cussed at me the other day and now you've made that comment. I thought I had to be on perfect behavior."_

 _"Yeah, I shouldn't have cussed at you. I was just frustrated. You won't hear it again."_

 _"And the comment?"_

 _"I'm teasing. Paul and I waited until we got married and I want to wait with you. Part of waiting then was because of having been raped. It kind of messes with your mind a bit. Makes having an intimate relationship a bit harder."_

 _"I've worried about that. I don't want to scare you or hurt you."_

 _"I can't imagine that you will."_

 _"Is there anything I need to be prepared for? Anything that Paul did that helped you?"_

 _"He wasn't rough. I don't remember my attack that well. That probably helps. He was patient. I was a virgin before my rape and so Paul is the only man I've ever been with, willingly, of course. I don't want you to think you have to be exactly like Paul though. You've probably got a lot more experience in that department."_

 _"No. I honestly don't. I dated a girl through high school. Katie. She was killed in a car wreck after our senior year. She was my first. I met Christine at college freshman orientation and was still really angry about Katie dying. She had just lost a boyfriend to an accident and I guess we bonded over that. We became good friends and then started dating towards the end of our freshman year. We dated a full year before we actually ever had sex. So, I'm sorry about the not waiting until marriage. I haven't done that but I'm okay with it now. Christine and I dated all through college, got engaged just after college and then married when I finished police academy."_

 _"For some reason that doesn't surprise me. Would you and Katie have gotten married had she not died?"_

 _"I think so. But my life would have been different. She would have not handled me being a cop or joining the Navy. I also wouldn't have had my kids."_

 _"You and she wouldn't have had kids?"_

 _"She couldn't. Something was wrong with her. I can't remember what now, but I do remember her saying she couldn't get pregnant."_

 _"I can't imagine you not being a dad. You're so good at it."_

 _"That's debatable."_

 _"Well if you were bad at it, your kids wouldn't love you the way they do. Mine wouldn't either."_

 _"I wonder about myself sometimes. Does me having had sex before marriage bother you? Christine and I lived together before we got married too."_

 _"You're honest about it. I appreciate it. And you don't expect it with me. I appreciate that. I just hope you're okay with me potentially having particular needs since I've been raped."_

 _"I've been a cop so I understand the psychological effects that a sexual assault can have. Also having Grace has helped me. I don't particularly want to know anything about that aspect of her life but I do want her to have a normal relationship with Ryan and that is part of it. It is something that worries me and I had worried about how I was supposed to act with you."_

 _"When the time comes, you'll know what I need and want. I don't think you'll have any problems. It won't be so different than what you've been used to. Paul and I had a very normal relationship. Obviously, we managed to have Gabby."_

 _"It's still gonna worry me. I don't want you to be scared."_

 _"Just be gentle and patient. And don't overthink it. It's a beautiful part of any relationship. And it is something that I do look forward to with you."_

 _"Yeah, me too. I think I'm more nervous than you are. Hannah did ask that you or Maggie help her with a bath tomorrow, help her with her hair. She was hurting pretty bad tonight and she is just not comfortable with me helping her. Grace isn't quite up to it yet either."_

 _"I'll help her. Can you pick Max up from school? I will come in the afternoon and help her out if you'll watch Gabby while I do. And she's a young lady now. She doesn't need or want her dad helping her with baths."_

 _"Yeah I figured. And yes, I can pick up or take Max to school anytime. As far as Gabby is concerned. Of course I'll watch my little buddy."_

 _"I think she might actually like Hannah a little more than you."_

 _"Hey, I thought she loved me?"_

 _"She loves both of you. But you should have seen her with Hannah while you and Grace were at the dock."_

 _"I think that will actually help Hannah. Sorry I walked out on everyone. I got to thinking about all the stuff Lucas would never get to do, get to be. It just hurts."_

 _"I wish I had an answer for you. I don't. I've had losses but I can't imagine losing a child. I've seen my sister go through it and I just can't even imagine it. Maggie has shown so much grace through it and I see you exuding the same grace, Alec too. Not sure I could. I remember Alec being so angry. And then Ryan enlisted. They face the possibility of losing their only living child every time he deploys. They're insanely proud of him but I can see the pain they go through."_

 _"It's a pain I wouldn't wish on my worst enemy. It's hellish. As far as Ryan is concerned, it's something any parent goes through when their child enlists. I am proud of my service but I pray to God that my kids never serve. I don't want them to see and deal with what I have and I selfishly don't want to have to worry about them being God only knows where."_

 _"But you're okay with Grace being a cop?"  
"I'm not in love with the idea. I'll be proud of her, and I know she'll be a good one but I would be happier if she didn't. Course I will never tell her that."_

 _"Alec wants you on his department so bad he can taste it. That is one way you can sort of protect her."_

 _"I won't always be where she is, and she would not appreciate the thought. I haven't actually told Alec yes because I wasn't sure how Grace would feel about it. I don't want it to damage our relationship. And besides, how would you feel about it?"_

 _"Jury is out. To be honest, I don't love the idea. I've already lost one husband in the line of duty. Knowing that you might be a cop scares me. But I absolutely do not want you to use that as a reason not to. I also am scared with the idea of Grace being a cop. If either of you decide to be a cop, I will love and support you."_

 _"Christine never liked me being a cop either. She hated when I went off patrol because she knew as a detective, I didn't always wear a vest. I think she was relieved when I joined the Navy. She didn't necessarily understand what it entailed. The really long deployments got to her."_

 _"Well I'm glad I don't have to worry about that, right?"_

 _"Right. I'm done with the Navy. I am not missing that much time with any of you guys ever again."_

 _"I am glad. Sorry but I am."_

 _"Nothing to be sorry for. Christine and I had our problems because of my deployments. As much as I loved her, and she loved me, it would have led to a divorce. Not something either of us really wanted but it had been discussed. Had the virus not happened, we would have at the very least been in marriage counseling when I got back from the Arctic and she had talked to a lawyer."_

 _"You still loved each other, and apparently something still worked, you conceived Matty."_

 _"I would never tell Matty this, but we had both been drinking the night he was conceived. We still loved each other but not sure I can say he was conceived out of love. Just a lot of alcohol."_

 _"You were both consenting adults who were married and loved each other. You managed to create a beautiful child despite your marital issues. What would have happened if you had come home and found out she was pregnant or had had Matty?"_

 _"That actually did happen with Lucas. I came home and she was eight months pregnant. I was thrilled. But I think if I had come home and found her pregnant with Matty or having just had him, we would have still ended up divorced. Just with Matty."_

 _"But you'll never know."_

 _"No, she died before I found out. Grace says she didn't want me to worry about her being pregnant and had said that she thought it might be like it was when I came home and found her pregnant with Lucas. I honestly think she was scared of my reaction. I would have been thrilled and supported her. I obviously love Matty and am grateful for her having him. He was an accident, not planned for at all. I only have one regret where he is concerned and that is that I've missed so much. I should have been there with him since day one. I wouldn't have been able to stop Christine from dying but I would have been there and Grace wouldn't have had to give up her childhood."_

 _"It was all in God's Plan. You ended up with an amazing little boy. It might have been alcohol fueled but you and she conceiving him was in His plans. And her dying was also in His plan. You may think that part of His plan stinks but it still gave you Matty. And I don't think you'd trade him for anything."_

 _"You're right. He's amazing and probably one of the reasons why I've gotten through all this with my girls."_

 _"He adores you. I think he has been so scared that you would blame him for his mom dying."_

 _"I can understand why everyone would think that. I just couldn't. He is an innocent child. Being angry at him for her dying never crossed my mind. After I found her death certificate but nothing on what happened to him, or even that he was a he, I will admit I tried not to think about him, tried to fixate on my girls."_

 _"How'd that work?"_

 _"Well I tried."_

 _"Easier said, than done."_

 _"Yep. I didn't want to think about 'the baby.' I was terrified that if I thought about him, I would get attached to the idea of having him and then if I found out I lost him without ever knowing him…"_

 _"It would have destroyed you."_

 _"Yep. And I was already pretty well wrecked. Thank God Matty survived."_

 _"Yeah."_

 _"Getting late. How's your children's church work going?"_

 _"You're a distraction."_

 _"But the best kind?"_

 _"Yeah you are. But it's really late and my cellphone battery is dying. I can't wait until we have these kind of conversations in person."_

 _"Me either. I am going to have get Matty used to sleeping in his own bed."_

 _"Max likes sleeping in my bed too. I'm assuming they'll be roomed together? Might help since we'll be roomed together."_

 _"Get your mind out of the gutter, Pastor. Boys will be in separate beds. You and I will not."_

 _"My mind is not the only one in the gutter, Admiral. We do need to set a date, makes some plans when its not almost two am and my cellphone isn't all but dead."_

 _"Next week. I do want at least a night away from the kids. A wedding night. Need a babysitter."_

 _"Need to get our daughter healed up a bit first before we leave for even a night. I won't feel right about leaving her."_

 _"Yeah, true. I love that you called her 'our daughter.'"_

 _"I love how much you love our kids. And I love you. I will text you in the morning. Might take you up on taking Max to school."_

 _"I love you. Good night. I'll be there at a quarter til eight to get Max."_

 _"See ya then."_

Mike was exhausted. His conversations with both his girls and Max had done him in. The conversation with Polly had been a good one and one they needed to have happen. They had talked about a lot. He checked on both his girls and was thrilled to see that Hannah was sleeping soundly. As soon as he laid down next to Matty the little guy rolled over onto his chest and wrapped his arms around Mike's neck. His conception might have been alcohol fueled, but Mike was still thrilled that it had happened because of the amazing little boy that he got out of it. He did wish that Christine had had a chance to know him. 


	34. Chapter 34

**Five Years Later**

Chapter 34

Mike got all the kids going which was a feat in itself. He dropped Grace off at work and headed to Polly's to get Max for school. Hannah was in some pain and so she would stay with Polly while Mike took the boys to school. He wasn't comfortable leaving her home by herself and she sighed every time Mike hit a bump. Walking up Polly's porch steps was also rough.

Max let them in because Polly was dealing with a fussy Gabby. Hannah laid down on the couch and Mike got Max a bowl of cereal. Matty decided he was hungry again and so Mike got him a second bowl and went looking for Polly. He finally found her in Gabby's room. She was still her in her pajamas, barefooted and had her brown hair pulled into a messy bun. No makeup but absolutely beautiful. She was holding Gabby, rocking her back and forth. The baby was awake and facing Polly. He noticed her pulling at her left ear, a sure sign that she had an ear infection. She wasn't crying but she was definitely making her opinion known. He thought it was a beautiful scene and stood at the door, leaning into the frame for a minute. Gabby finally noticed him and started reaching for him. He walked in and pulled both of them close and kissed Polly on the lips. She had apparently not had a chance to brush her teeth yet that morning, not that he minded.

"Bet you never want to kiss me again this early in the morning. That was not nice for you."

"I'll kiss you anytime. But how about I take grumpy pants and you go brush your teeth?

"Comb my hair, put some make up on, change out of my pajamas…"

"None of which I mind whether you do or don't do. I got her, go brush those teeth so I can kiss you again. Hannah is sacked out on your couch and I will get the boys headed to school.

"Thought you'd kiss me anytime."

Mike pulled her in and gave her another kiss, this one slightly deeper. Gabby patted Mike on the face and he finally pulled away and smiled at Polly. He headed towards the living room/kitchen area. The boys were finishing their breakfast and he needed to head them towards school. Hannah was awake and sitting on the couch and motioned Mike over so she could hold the baby.

"I need to get these boys to school. Will you be okay with her for a bit? Polly is getting ready so she's close."

"Yeah, I'm okay. Why's her ear so red?"

"Think she has an ear infection. You used to get them a lot. When I get back I'll try something that always worked with you. Tell Polly I need to run by the store and get an eye dropper and some sweet oil."

"For her ear?"

"Yeah, something your mom learned from her mom."

"Okay. I'll be alright. Be careful."

"Will be. I love you. C'mon boys."

"Love you too."

As Mike headed the two boys out, he looked back towards Hannah. She had Gabby sitting on her lap facing her, making funny faces at her. He could hear Gabby giggling at her. They had seemed to have developed a special connection. It would ease things.

After getting the boys to school, Grace texted him. She needed him to come by the sheriff's department. No indication as to why. He was at the store getting the oil and eye dropper and wanted to get it back to Gabby. He texted Polly that he was being diverted. He was worried about Grace.

The dispatcher didn't give him any indication when she buzzed him in, just telling him that the coffee was on. He grabbed a cup and walked into Grace's office. The first thing he noticed was the look on her face and the fact that Alec had his arm around her.

"Is everything okay?"

"Mike, Sarah Gibson hung herself last night at the jail I had her in. This morning, Daniel slit his wrists with the metal bottom of a pepper shaker. They are both dead. She left a note in her cell, naming all of her victims, the names of the daughters, and the towns where she murdered the men. Mike, there were six dozen men."

"I can't say that I'm not glad. I didn't want my girls having to go through a trial. Did she give any indication as to why?"

"Apparently she had issues with her own father from what she told a cellmate. They had moved that cellmate out last evening and so we don't know much else. No other information was found."

"Gracie, are you okay? Do you want to go home since I've left you vehicleless today?"

"No, I think I want to stay working."

"Grace, if you want to go home, it's okay. None of this work can't wait."

"Nah, I'm good. I just am glad it's behind us. I was dreading a trial, having to face either of them. Daddy, I'm gonna try and work through today. I'll text you if I need to be picked up earlier, but maybe when you pick up the boys from school?"

"Okay, if you're sure and you promise to call me if you need picked up?"

Grace nodded at him and he reached down and kissed her on the forehead. He followed Alec out of the room but looked at Grace before he walked out of the squad room. She was already bent back over whatever she was working on and had her music back on.

"I'll keep an eye on her and will call you if I notice anything. I know I could have called you and told you about them killing themselves but I knew you would be worried about Grace anyway and would want to come by. Something is on your mind?"

"Yeah, I just find it odd that they killed themselves within twelve hours of one another. Almost like it was a plan or a pact? Any communication between them?"

"I find it odd too. I'm in communication with the sheriff from that jail. He's investigating his staff without them knowing it, and I'm investigating mine, with the exception of Grace. I have a part timer that is married to a jailer there. My issue is, she doesn't care for Grace. Thinks the only reason Grace was hired was because she was dating my son, not because she has the skills for the job. She has made a lot of noise since I promoted Grace to a full time records position."

"Not telling you how to do your job but might keep her and Grace separated. Grace just can't know it. Is she armed?"

"The part timer? Or Grace?"

"Grace is going to be. I will work with her tonight as long as you're okay with it?"

"Yeah. I'm good. Probably wise given that she takes care of the warrants anyway. If the criminals knew, she would be the most hated person in the county. I will keep an eye out on her today and the part timer isn't due to work today. I won't let her leave the office unless she is with me or you either."

"Thanks, I appreciate you protecting my girl. She will probably get mad if she knows I'm hanging around. I need to get back and get Hannah. She's at Polly's. She's hogging Gabby."

"Well Gabby only likes you and Hannah now so…"

"Yeah I suppose. She does kind of like her mom a bit too. She just tolerates you though."

"Kid screams every time she sees me. That isn't toleration."

"Maybe she'll grow out of it?"

"I can hope. It's baffling. I always was good with babies. Better get to work on her social skills. I'm sure the Navy taught you some sort of skill for that?"

"Being in the Navy taught me nothing about babies or social skills. I better get going. I was supposed to bring some oil back for her ears. She has an infection."

"She had one last month too. I think she has some sort of issue. Just hope it doesn't affect her hearing."

"I'll get Polly to get her to the doc. May explain her moods?"

Alec nodded; they shook hands and parted ways. Mike would worry about Grace throughout the day but he also knew that Alec would take care of her and protect her exactly the same way Mike would. He was glad that his girls would not have to testify but he was also a bit angry because Sarah and Daniel wouldn't pay for what they had done. Grace and Hannah would have to pay for their crimes for the rest of their lives. It was not fair.

When he got back to Polly's house, she and Hannah were playing with Gabby. He heated the sweet oil and put a drop in both her ears. At first Gabby had huge tears in her eyes but then it was like the treatment started working and she turned into a happy, bubbly baby who laughed and smiled at everyone. Mike told Polly about Alec's concerns and told both Hannah and her about what had happened with Sarah and Daniel. Hannah had the same reaction he had. It just wasn't fair.

Polly had to work and she always got to take Gabby with her. After giving Hannah a hug and promising her that she would come to their house that afternoon to help with her school and assist her with a bath, and giving Mike a kiss, the four of them parted ways.

Mike and Hannah went by the school and got her schoolwork and set up for a tutor to help her keep caught up. The secretary told her to go by the special ed class because the students had something for her and gave Mike a visitor's pass. Hannah was wearing down but he could tell that she wanted to visit with her friends. He had noticed she didn't refer to them as anything other than friends and it made him prouder of her. He started to knock on the classroom door but she walked in like it was a regular classroom. He immediately heard probably a dozen kids of varying ages and disabilities cheering and yelling Hannah's name. He stood back and watched her interact with all of them. Some of them were nonverbal and she signed to them, a couple were in wheelchairs and a few others just seemed to have severe physical disabilities including one girl who was blind and deaf. Hannah sit down next to her and let her feel her face and throat while she spoke to her. He had sat down next to the teacher's desk and watched in amazement.

"Hannah has a true gift with these kids. It's rare for someone her age."

"I'm in awe. I had seen her with Josh. I knew she knew how to sign and she is trying to teach me but I had no idea."

"She spends all of her lunch breaks here, if there is a free period, she's here. Any moment she has, she's here, helping them. These kids are just thrilled to have a normal friend. They were so devastated when they heard that she'd had an accident and how serious it was. That she could have died very easily."

"It was devastating for me too. I just had no idea she was this involved with them. When she was in trouble, was she that involved?"

"Yes, it's probably why they didn't expel her. Even when she was at her worst, she was here with them. And the fights she got in? Those were defending these kids from ones like that Carly girl."

"I was aware of two fights?"

"More like half a dozen."

"Oh, wow."

"Remember why she was fighting though."

"Yeah, true. Listen, she's wearing down but she is all excited about the Special Olympics event this weekend. I promised her I would bring her to it. I am a little worried about it."

"It's at two on Saturday at the park. I have her on deck for a 'coach' position. You can stay with her and I have some lawn chairs for you and her. I have a t-shirt ordered for her, but need your size?"

"Oh, I don't need a shirt. I'm just going to be there to help Hannah, make sure she doesn't exert herself too much."

"Trust me, she'll have you involved. Your shirts will be in the office on Friday or I can send them with her tutor if you've got one?"

"The tutor will work. The counselor's office will be sending one out tomorrow and Thursday. She has a doctor's appointment Friday, hopefully to get stitches out. I guess if I need one, an extra-large?"

"Okay, got you. Wear athletic pants and tennis shoes."

"Will do. Thanks so much. I almost hate pulling her away from them. The office said you all had something for her?"

"Oh, yeah. Kids need to go back to work anyway. Hey, Hannah?"

Hannah stood up slowly and looked towards the teacher, Mrs. Alexander, walking towards them. Mike could see the exhaustion all over her face and knew he needed to get her home. He had wanted to take her to lunch but she needed her bed, or at the least the couch. Mrs. Alexander handed him a massive basket full of candy, puzzle books, cozy socks, and all kinds of stuff. There was a handmade card signed by all the students and Mrs. Alexander. He could tell Hannah was thrilled with the basket and touched by the thought. They both thanked everyone and headed out. He had to help her into the Explorer and with seatbelt.

"If you're hungry I can take you by Maggie's or we can go on home and you can take a nap before your bath? Polly is coming to help at about one or a bit after."

"I'm hungry but I'm tired too. Can we maybe get it to go?"

"Yes, ma'am. How about I call her with the order? You want a cheeseburger and onion rings like normal?"

"Bacon cheeseburger on the toast. She knows how I like it. And yes, on the onion rings? Do you have Ranch dressing?"

"Yes we do. No pickles? What about a milkshake?"

"No pickles and maybe a medium strawberry? Can I stay in the car?"

"Yeah. I'll call and then run by the post office, then head over. You okay?"

"Yeah just wore out, I promise."

Mike called Maggie and ordered two of what Hannah had ordered. It sounded good to him too. When he pulled into the post office he leaned her seat back and covered her with his jacket. She was already sound asleep. He almost hated leaving her alone until he noticed Pastor John parked next to him. He went around and explained to him that Hannah was sleeping and he hated leaving her to check his mail, Pastor John and his wife immediately agreed to keep an eye on her. They visited for a moment and the pastor did tell him that he would want him and Polly to go through pre-marital counseling, but he was willing to condense it a bit. Word was getting out and Mike knew he had to get a ring pretty quickly because the pastor's wife had asked him about it. Everyone loved Polly.

He had gotten the insurance check for his truck and knew he needed to get that taken care of so Grace could have her Explorer back. When he got back to the vehicle he thanked Pastor John and his wife and headed to Maggie's. Hannah had apparently had a power nap and was looking through her gift basket and wanted to see Maggie.

They visited for a couple minutes with Maggie and Ryan and she told Mike that she was willing to help with Hannah too. She also clued him in that Polly didn't particularly care for regular diamonds and to go for something different. Polly would love anything Mike got her but she had never cared for diamonds that much. On the way home, Mike decided to mention the ring shopping to Hannah to see if she would even want to help.

"So, I have kind of messed up things and need to get Polly an engagement ring. Maggie told me that she doesn't like regular diamonds so I'm at a loss. Would you want to help me Friday when we go to your doctor's appointment?"

"Yeah, that would be fun! Are you guys going to have a big wedding? When is it? Can you wear your dress whites or not now that you're not in the Navy?"

"I have no idea when it will be. We have already decided we want something small. As far as dress whites, I don't want to ever wear those things ever again. You know how hard it is to eat while I'm wearing them?"

"Oh, I bet so. I hadn't thought of that. You always just looked so handsome in them. I can't even feature you in a tux."

"Yeah, that probably won't happen until you or Grace gets married and make me wear one of those monkey suits. I know it will be fairly soon with Grace but maybe you can wait, I don't know, maybe twenty or thirty years?"

"At least ten. I want to get through college first."

"Any idea what you want to go to college for? And by the way, I am fully onboard with that idea."

"I think maybe a special education teacher like Mrs. Alexander? I know the pay isn't good but…"

"You'd be amazing at it. I was even prouder of you watching you today with those kids. I can't wait until Saturday. So about the ring, you'll help me?"

"Oh, yeah. I meant to say that when I said it would be fun. I think I can get our food up the steps but can you get that basket?"

"How about I help you up the steps, and come back for the food and basket?"

She nodded at him and he helped her out of the car. She leaned into him and he immediately wrapped his arm around her, kissing her on the top of the head. He had totally underestimated Hannah, her strength and her compassion was unbelievable. She was Christine, through and through. She had his temper and impatience and that was where the similarity ended. He got her up the steps with just a few groans and settled down to eat at the kitchen island. She would need a little bit of a nap before her bath and so he texted Polly to take her time.

They ate lunch and looked through her basket. It was absolutely filled with all kinds of fun stuff and she gave Mike some of his favorite candy out of it. After taking a pain pill, she settled on the couch and was sound asleep within a minute or so, with Mike rubbing her back and talking quietly to her. He sit for a couple minutes after she fell asleep, rubbing her back and focusing completely on his amazing baby girl.


	35. Chapter 35

**Five Years Later**

Chapter 35

Polly and Gabby came in just a bit before two with food for supper. Hannah woke up and played with Gabby for a couple minutes before her bath. Mike explained the bandages to Polly and they decided to use his bathroom given that it had both a walk in shower and a huge bathtub. Polly promised Mike that she would holler if she needed help but assured him they would be just fine. Polly had brought a playpen that could double as a crib for Gabby and could stay at Mike's. He rocked Gabby to sleep and laid her down. Grace had texted him that she was okay and he could pick her up after he got the boys. Inside the bathroom, Polly decided to take the opportunity to visit with Hannah while she fixed her hair. She'd brought her straightener with her, to try and make Hannah feel better.

"So your dad tells me you need some help with your English and maybe something fun to do with me?"

"Yeah, the school has a tutor coming to help me, but Daddy is horrible at English and History isn't one of his better subjects either. I just don't know if you'd want to help me."

"I do. I did well in History and English in school. As far as fun is concerned, I know you're a bit limited at the moment. One of my hobbies is jewelry making. Is that something you'd want to try? I know you're a bit sporty…"

"No, no, that sounds fun! I just like the sports at Special Olympics. The kids in regular sports are just so mean to everyone, especially the "special kids," I don't like it. Is the jewelry you wear at church stuff you've made? I've always thought it was pretty."

"Thank you and yes. Maggie wears some of my jewelry too.

"Yeah, I think I've seen it, just didn't know you'd made it. Daddy is going to have me help him pick out your ring. Can I help you with your wedding dress?"

"Sure, but it will probably not be a normal dress. I don't want anything fancy. You can definitely help me pick out whatever I wear.

"Well, you need to at least where a dress of some sort. Maggie told Daddy you don't like regular diamonds?"

"Not particularly. I think they are just so normal. Everyone gets them."

"So what kind of ring? I think the chocolate diamonds are pretty."

"I wouldn't mind one of them. But I don't want your dad to get anything extravagant."

"Well you're not getting something out of a vending machine."

"Would your dad do that?"

"As a joke, yes."

"Well, he doesn't need to get me anything at all. I don't expect it."

"He wants to. He loves you. It's kind of gross."

"How so?"

"He's like a teenager with his first girlfriend! It wouldn't be so bad but my dad? It just seems weird for him."

"Oh wow. I hadn't thought of that. Is that bothering you?"

"Maybe just a little. It's sweet and I'm really glad that he's so happy. I want him happy. Just kind of wish he could have been as happy with my mom as he is with you. Sorry for bringing her up."

"Sweetie, your mom and dad loved each other deeply. When a man and a woman have a child together, it connects them in a way that cannot be undone. Fighting, marital issues and divorce would have not stopped your parents from having that connection. Death also won't. Maggie told me once that having a child is like having your heart walk around outside your body. That child has your best traits and your worst traits. You love them with every single cell in your body. When you share that child with someone, you share the fact that they also love that child with everything that they have. It's the most intimate part of any relationship when a couple has a child together. And in your parent's case that is magnified times four. I am sure that even when your mom and dad fought, that there were moments of happiness, and even if not, there are memories of happiness. Sheer joy. When you and your brother and sister were born? I've had a baby, and there is nothing more joyful, happier then that feeling. It's euphoric."

"So you're saying that even with you and him getting married, he'll still have a connection to my mom? I guess my hang up is that I don't want him to forget her."

"Oh, he's never going to forget her. All three of you look like her; he thinks that you've gotten your compassion from her. I personally see more of your dad in you, personality wise, but he has an allusion that you're like your mom. My point is, he is not ever, ever going to forget your mom or stop loving her. She gave him four beautiful children who he loves with all his heart and every single cell in his body."

"He loves you, Max and Gabby too."

"Yeah, he does. And he has a lot of people that love him."

"Yeah. I was really horrible to him when he first got here. I wish I hadn't been. I really missed him when he was gone. I missed Mom too but at least I knew that she had died and she wasn't in pain anymore because she was in Heaven. With my dad, I didn't know."

'That had to have been so horrible. If you missed him so much, why were you so horrible to him?"

"I honestly don't know. I guess I was afraid that he'd leave again and I didn't want to get too attached to having him here. I still think that even though he's retired, the Navy will need something and he'll go. He's told me he won't but…"

"He's told me the same thing and I believe him. I don't think he could handle leaving again."

"Are you okay with him always remembering her, loving her?"

"There are some women who wouldn't be but the way I look at it, she gave me you guys. You, Grace, Matty, your dad and even Lucas, even though I'll never know him in this life. She gave me a beautiful gift. The least I could do is allow you all to remember her and love her. A part of your dad's heart will always belong to your mom, just like a piece of his heart will always belong to me. The heart is meant to be shared, not one piece replacing another. I'm not sure if this is helping or just digging the hole deeper?"

"It is helping. I just…I guess the reason I've just been kind of okay with everything is, I didn't want my dad to forget my mom and I didn't want you to come in and expect him or us to forget her or not love her anymore because we had you here and love you. It kind of sounds stupid."

"I will never expect that. And no, it doesn't sound stupid. It's a legitimate concern."

"I hate being the one that always disagrees and causes problems. At some point, he'll just have enough and be done with me. And now that I'm hurt…"

"You are so much like him, it's scary! I saw him after you were hurt. Hannah, he was absolutely devastated. I think he was worse than when Grace was attacked. I talked to the nurse at the hospital; did you know that as badly as he was injured, he refused to leave your side? He slept next to your bedside, with his head next you, holding your wrist so he could feel your pulse. I also know he would let you fall asleep on his chest because you were the most comfortable, and failed to tell you that he had several broken ribs. That had to have hurt him but he only wanted to be a comfort to you. He couldn't ease your pain but he could comfort you. He's never going to be done with you. Even when you were in trouble and fighting at school, what was one of the first things he told you?"

"That he loved me and missed me."

"Well I don't think that's changed. How about this…a little test? Go out and tell him you're tired and not feeling good and want him to hold you so you can fall asleep. You told him you like using him as a pillow? I bet you he will immediately hold you."

"But he is probably holding Gabby?"

"I'll take Gabby and I'll go get the boys from school."

"It's probably not right to trick him?"

"It's not tricking, because you are tired and hurting. He'll prove my point. He loves you no matter what."

"He tells me he loves me. I guess I'll go see. I am tired and he hasn't held me like that since I got out of the hospital. I didn't want to ask him when I found out his ribs were hurt."

"He's missing it."

"If you say so."

Polly had finished with her hair and so Hannah slowly stood up and even had to grab her dad's headboard to support herself. She was worn out. Polly knew exactly what Mike's reaction would be when she asked him and she also knew that he had probably put Gabby down for a nap. She would just go get the two boys from school and pick Grace up so he could concentrate on Hannah. They made their way into the living room and Polly saw Mike sitting on the couch, reading a book and Gabby lying in her playpen sleeping. Hannah sit down next to him and he immediately sit his book to the side.

"Daddy, I don't feel good and I'm tired. Can you hold me like you did at the hospital? I know it might hurt you but…"

"Of course, is something wrong?"

"No. Just want you to hold me."

Mike immediately adjusted her to where she lying next to him and had her head laying on his chest. If he was in pain, he didn't show it. He rested his chin on the top of Hannah's head and started rubbing her back since she was lying on her side. She was sound asleep within five minutes and he was staying concentrated on her. Polly had watched the exchange and had fallen just a bit more in love with Mike watching him with Hannah. She knelt down next to him and pulled a blanket over Hannah and him and started talking quietly.

"Is she okay? Stitches look alright? She worried me when she come out like that."

"You proved a point I was making to her. She seems to think that every time she bucks up and disagrees you or causes a problem, you're gonna be done with her. I essentially told her to come out here and ask you to hold her like this to prove to her that even though it might cause you pain, you would. Now, I'll go get the boys and Grace but I really hate to disturb Gabby. I think it is important you stay holding her like this."

"Wow. Not sure how holding her like this proves that I love her or that I'm not gonna be done with her but I will. Is that her hang up with me and you getting married?"

"No. I think that is simply she is afraid everyone will forget her mom and the fact that you seem happier with me then she remembers you being with her mom. I assured her you would never forget Christine or stop loving her and that you had good times but I think she needs to hear that from you."

"I hate that she put all that on you. The last probably six months before I deployed were pretty rough. We did fight a lot, but we did make a point to not try to in front of the kids. Apparently she must have heard something."

"Don't worry about it. I don't think she wanted to tell you for fear of causing problems. But now you know, and you need to address it. And remind her despite those fights, you still loved her mom and still had good moments. Obviously, you managed to create Matty."

"Yeah, I'm not telling her exactly how he happened. But yes, that's why neither of us just filed for divorce. We still loved each other and we had our moments. I saw it as a light at the end of the tunnel, not sure if Christine saw it the same way but I would have liked to think so."

"Let me ask you this, had the virus not happened, had Lucas not died, and you came back from a deployment, found her pregnant with Matty and she survived his birth, and then you fixed your marriage, you would have grown old with her correct?"

"Considering that it's my fiancée asking this, is it a trick question? I don't want to get it trouble with you in the here and now considering how I answer that."

"You and I would have never met, you won't be in trouble."

"Then yeah. I would have fought to save my marriage. I hated the idea of divorcing Christine. I think the only way she would have been happy and stayed in the marriage was for me to quit the Navy. Which I ended up doing because of her death. I couldn't handle it anymore. Partly because of her death but also because I knew that the likelihood of the kids surviving without her was minimal. Thank God I was wrong about that."

"You would have quit the Navy to save your marriage?"

"Yeah, in a heartbeat. I should have when it became a problem."

"Well, that's what you need to tell Hannah. Once she wakes up of course, she is out for the count right now."

"I make a good pillow from what she told me."

"I can see that and I can't wait to find out for myself."

"I'm thinking of about a hundred remarks that I can make that the pastor will not approve of."

"Hmm, well. When the time comes for me to find out what kind of pillow you are, will there be clothing involved?"

"POLLY!"

"Ssshhh! You'll wake the girls. Can't blame me for wondering. I can't find a good pillow and I think that chest of yours will be perfectly solid, clothes or no clothes."

"Here I thought I would be in trouble for having those thoughts, would end up going straight to hell for them, and there's you…the sweet pastor thinking and saying that stuff. Wow, just wow."

"Probably a good thing we want a quick wedding. I would hate to wait."

"Speaking of which, I saw Pastor John today, he mentioned pre-marital counseling. Said he would condense it. What does it involve?"

"Typically, a couple goes through compatibility tests, talks finances, pet peeves, kids or no kids, religious beliefs. It'll be interesting for you and I since we haven't even managed a date."

"I'll go on a date anytime with you. Christine and I didn't do any counseling before we got married. I can see how discussing that stuff might be good before tying the knot. I would rather not ask this in front of anyone, do you want more kids?"

"I wouldn't mind another one or two, honestly. It's stupid but I would love to have the experience of having a husband's support and love through a pregnancy, labor and delivery. Maggie helped me with both mine and she was amazing but I would love to have you next to me throughout all that and while I know you will help me with Max and Gabby, the idea of teaming up to raise a child that is equal parts you and me, it's enticing. What about you?"

"The idea is alluring but also terrifying. The labor and delivery scares me."

"Because of Christine dying during childbirth?"

"Yeah. She had had three healthy pregnancies, her deliveries were a breeze. She was barely in the hospital in hour before each of the kids was born, but with Matty something went horribly wrong. The thought of losing you like that? I know I wasn't around when Christine died but I couldn't go through that again."

"If it makes you feel any better, I never had any problems with Max and Gabby."

"Slightly but Christine had never had problems either."

"Mike, she was under a lot of stress. Maybe that played into it."

"Grace thinks she gave up. I don't know. I can't imagine her giving up, knowing she was leaving the kids alone but I wasn't here. I don't know what her mindset was like and Grace doesn't really talk about it."

"She had also lost a child a few months before. As a father you know how hard it is, but imagine being a mother and having carried that child in your stomach for nine months, teaching him how to walk and talk, holding him in your arms when he is sick and then one day he gets so sick and it's a deadly virus. If you hold you're dying child, there is every possibility you'll end up with the virus so you have to leave him in the nurse's care so you can live for your other children and your unborn child. Not being able to hold your child as he dies? I can't imagine what that did to her."

"I suppose. The idea that he probably died alone really bothers me. I don't blame Christine for not being able to be there but I guess I hadn't thought what it might have been like for her."

"At that point, she was pregnant with a baby that you and she had conceived at a bad spell in your marriage. She didn't know rather you were alive or dead. She was facing the potential of raising three children on her own, and faced starvation, disease and violence. She was grieving for her dead son and very potentially her husband. As far as Lucas dying alone, when Aiden and McKenna died, they kept them drugged up. I would guess they did the same for Lucas. If he was like they were, he had no idea that he was dying."

"I can hope that's the case. The thought of him being in pain and alone…"

"I need to get going to get those boys and Grace. Can you text her and let her know it's me picking her up? Hopefully Gabby will stay asleep so you can stay like this. I truly think Hannah needs to wake up with you holding her."

"I can't say that I mind holding her."

"Well seeing you like this makes me love you just a bit more."

"I love you too. Better get going."

Polly leaned down and gave both of them a kiss and looked down at Gabby to make sure she was asleep. She would pay for Gabby's long nap later when it was time for her to sleep that night but it was worth it. As she walked out, she looked back towards Mike. He was rubbing Hannah's back and concentrating on her face. Polly could see the pure love on Mike's face as he looked down at Hannah. It was almost emanating from him.


	36. Chapter 36

**Five Years Later**

Chapter 36

Gabby and Hannah both woke up about the same time Polly, Grace and the boys got home. Mike had been able to hold Hannah the entire time and she woke up and gave him a huge smile. Mike kissed her on the forehead and gently eased out from under her. He would have been perfectly happy to hold her all night.

"I love you, Hannah. More then you'll ever know. Nothing you can do or say will ever change that."

"I love you too, Daddy."

Hannah stayed on the couch but took Gabby onto her lap and was making funny faces at her while Mike played with Matty and Max with the two puppies. Grace and Polly made dinner. It was a routine that Mike could definitely get used to. There was tons of banter back and forth between the kids, Mike and Polly. Gabby was giggling happily at Hannah, playing peek a boo. It was a cool night and Grace was still recovering from her attack and so Mike decided to wait to teach her how to shoot. He just hoped he wouldn't regret it later.

Polly and Grace were both unbelievably good cooks and had made a soup and garlic bread. The kids all joked about Mike and Polly not "dating" first before getting married. Matty had figured it out without Mike telling him and he was over the moon happy about it.

After Polly and the kids went to her house, Mike, Grace and Hannah settled down for a Monopoly game in front of the blazing fire in the fireplace. Matty "helped" Mike and they all snacked on candy and popcorn. The one thing that all three kids had undoubtedly inherited from Mike was being highly competitive. It was entertaining to say the least and there was no clear cut winner. Both girls wore out before the game was over and it was well past Matty's bedtime. Mike announced that they would have a rematch Sunday afternoon because he was convinced that he would beat both of them.

Mike rocked Matty while he read to him and Matty fell asleep mid book. He had Grace turn down Matty's bed in hopes of getting the little guy used to sleeping in his own bed. There were predictions for storms so hopefully Matty would remember what Mike had told him about Christine telling him that she loved him when it stormed. If not, Mike would just let him sleep with him. Polly was facing the same issue with Max so it would be interesting to see what would happen after they got married. They might very well end up with both boys with them half the time.

Grace went to sleep soon after Matty. She wasn't talking a lot about Sarah and Daniel killing themselves and had asked Mike when he would feel up to fixing her kitchen island so she could move back out. Mike was planning on putting her off until Alec could finish his investigation on the part time employee and the jailer at the other jail. He just couldn't let her know that so he played it off that he just didn't want her to move out while she was still recovering, something that he could tell aggravated her. So much so, that she didn't kiss Mike good night or tell him that she loved him. He hated having to lie to her.

Hannah had fallen asleep on the couch and he gently woke her up. She was in some pretty intense pain and after Mike insisted she take a pain pill, she went straight to bed. Matty was sound asleep but when he checked on Grace, she was tossing and turning, which in turn caused her pain. It was heartbreaking for Mike, and he would have ordinarily woke her up to take a pain pill, but he knew she would see it as "smothering." He couldn't afford to have an all-out fight with her at that point.

Mike finally fell asleep. He heard a storm rolling through but Matty apparently hadn't woke up or comforted himself with thoughts of his mom loving him. Whatever worked. Mike had just fallen back asleep when he heard screaming. It was not Matty. Hannah was sound asleep and so that left Grace. When he got to her room, she had almost rolled out of bed. Mike quickly shook her awake and rolled her back onto the bed. Grace was sobbing uncontrollably. She had only had a few nightmares since her attack and Mike had no idea what to do other than to sit down next to her and let her cry it out. He was tempted to call Polly to see if she could calm her but decided he would only do that as a last resort. He put his arms around Grace and pulled her close. She was crying violently into his chest. He wouldn't be getting anymore sleep that night, not that he cared now.

They sit like that for what seemed like hours. There were a couple times that Mike figured that Grace would vomit because of how hard she was crying. It only made Mike angrier at Daniel and Sarah. Grace's life was completely changed, her future altered and they wouldn't pay because they took the easy way out. She would have headaches for the rest of her life, had horrific scars and very potentially would never be able to have her own children. It was in no way fair and all Mike could do was hold her. The crying finally slowed but Mike stayed with his arms around her.

"Is there anything I can do?"

"No. You've done plenty, Dad."

"No, honey, I haven't."

"I've sit here and cried like a baby, you held me the whole time. I'd say that was enough."

"Want to tell me what you were dreaming about?"

"Look, I know they're dead. I didn't believe Alec at first, so he showed me photos of both of them. I asked him to so don't get mad at him. Besides, it's not like it's the first time I've seen crime scene photos. The dream was weird because I was at my apartment for the first night. You were mad at me because I wanted to stay by myself and so you just dropped me off. I went inside and both of them were sitting on the couch waiting on me. And they hurt me…again. I don't understand it. It's not like I don't know they're dead and I want to move back to my apartment. You hadn't even fixed the dry wall, just dropped me off. It was so weird. I called you for help but you laughed at me…"

"What happened next?"

"That's when the dream ended."

"Well, I promise you, I would never, ever laugh at you for needing help. And I would never just drop you off there. When the time comes and it's your first night alone there, I assure you, I will walk through, checking closets, making sure doors and windows are locked and I will be on top of my phone all night. The reason I am reluctant to let you back right now is because Alec is investigating why both of them killed themselves within twelve hours, there may be a connection but he wanted to keep it quiet. I don't want you to move back until it's wrapped up. That is my reservation."

"It's one of my coworkers isn't it?"

"Yeah, a part timer that apparently doesn't like you. I can't imagine anyone not liking you but…"

"You're wired to think that."

"I think you know which employee I'm talking about without saying a name?"

"Yeah, her husband works at that county. Makes sense. She does work some back in the jail too. She is mad because I got the promotion to full time records. She thinks the only reason Alec hired me was because of Ryan. I had already been working there when Ryan and I started dating but we had been friends for a long time. She's made comments that I'm sleeping with the boss' son and can do no wrong. That keeping me here will keep Ryan here and that's what Alec wants. It's all not true of course. I had volunteered at the sheriff's office before I turned eighteen so that was part of the reason I got a job. Not because of Ryan."

"Well, I would say you've proven yourself and she hasn't.´ Do you know if she and Sarah Gibson had any interaction?"

"They were friends. I think that is part of her problem with me."

"Could be. So how about this? I will fix that dry wall today so it's ready to go when you're ready to move back in, but please stay here until we have an idea of what is going on. Sweetie, I'm ready for you to move back but I also am gonna worry myself sick where you're concerned. It's a dad thing. When you're at the Sheriff's Office, Alec is there and loves you almost as much as I do and will protect you the same way I would, but if you go back to the apartment right now, you're not quite a hundred percent just yet. You can take care of yourself but I would just feel better if you stayed here until it's all done."

"Stuff just keeps creeping up with this. It's like it's the never ending investigation. I understand what you're saying and I will stay here but I just hope it's over soon. Besides, I have to stay until at least Sunday, who is gonna beat you at Monopoly?"

"Cute. Just remember who taught you how to play the game. As far as the investigation is concerned, it's a massive one and there are a lot of threads but I do think we are at the tail end of the rug unraveling. Getting sleepy yet?"

"Yeah, sorry I woke you up and kept you awake."

"It's okay. No place I'd rather be. Just hate the reason for it. I'm gonna try and lay down for a couple hours and I want you to try to too. Wake me up if you can't sleep though. I love you, Grace."

"I love you too, Daddy and thank you for holding me."

"Anytime, sweetie."

Mike puttered around the house for a couple minutes to make sure that Grace fell back asleep. Hannah and Matty were both out and when he looked in on Grace, she had fallen into a restful sleep. She had made a valid point; it did seem like the never ending investigation. She needed to put it behind her and part of that was moving out of his house and back to her apartment. It was part of her healing. Mike finally laid back down, it was almost four and he only would have about two hours to sleep before he had to start getting the kids rounded around, and that was only if he didn't get woke back up.

At almost seven, Grace heard Hannah and Matty moving around. She realized her dad must have slept in and so she got Matty's clothes out for him and made sure Hannah was okay before she woke Mike up. She knew that he was planning on taking Max to school that morning so he needed to get moving. She had coffee ready to go, when he came out of the bedroom still blurry eyed. He hadn't shaved in a day or so, his shirt was wrinkled, and his pants were tucked into one boot and not the other. He was as far away from Navy regulations as he could have gotten. But she was pretty sure, he was completely happy. It was good to see him like that.

"You okay, Gracie?"

"Yeah, I'm good. Sorry again for waking you up like that and keeping you awake for so long."

"I love you. I never mind helping you or holding you. I hate the reason why but I never mind actually doing it. Anytime you need me to."

"I love you too. We'd better get out the door so we can get Max on time." Mike was helping Matty with his shoes and the girls headed out to the Explorer. Matty had flopped over on the couch, still sleepy.

"C'mon, buddy. It's time for us to go. Didn't sleep well?"

"No, I heard it storming but I remembered you saying it was Mommy just telling me she loved me. But I thought I heard Gracie crying too. Was she sick or something? I was going to check on her and give her a hug but you were in there with her. Maybe if she's scared of the storms we should tell her it's Mommy telling her that she loves her. It might help her."

"She would have liked it. You could have come in. She just had a bad dream. It wasn't the storm that scared her."

"Oh. But she's a big kid? She still needed you to hold her like you do when I get scared?"

"Well, she's an adult. But she will still always be my kid. No matter how old she gets, she's still my baby girl, just like you're my baby boy. It won't change no matter how big you get. It'll still hurt my heart when one of you guys gets hurt or is sad."

"Oh, I guess that makes sense. What about Max and Gabby?"

"They will be my babies too. Speaking of which, let's go get Max."

"Okay, I love you!"

"I love you too, Matty."

Matty jumped into Mike's arms and he grabbed the school bag with his empty arm and walked out, only stopping to lock the door. Hannah was half asleep when he opened the door for Matty and put his seatbelt on. She was going to stay with Polly while Mike took Grace to work and the boys to school and while he fixed the dry wall at Grace's apartment. It was Polly's day off and she and Hannah had all kinds of plans.


	37. Chapter 37

**Five Years Later**

Chapter 37

Mike did a thorough walk through of Grace's apartment. He changed locks, makes sure windows would shut and lock properly and that the screens were secured, the dry wall was fixed and scrubbed a large amount of blood off the floor. He couldn't get it out of the grout despite bleaching it, so he went a got an area rug to cover it. He had noticed the blood on the day Grace gave her full statement. It was like a scar. Hopefully Grace would never notice it, but he would see the blood every time he visited. After finishing everything, he went down and sit down for a cup of iced tea with Maggie and Ryan.

"I changed the locks, made sure the screens are secured, windows are locked, drywall fixed and repainted. I also tried to clean the floor again. There is a huge stain in the grout that I can't get it out. Tile is okay but the grout is stained."

"What stained it, sir?" Ryan just couldn't drop the sir.

"Blood. I would guess from her head wound. She had lost a lot of blood when I got here."

"Ryan, a group of the dispatchers and jailers got the apartment cleaned up afterwards. There was blood and glass everywhere. Grace put up quite a fight and what she didn't do, your dad finished. His knuckles were pretty bloody that night." Maggie was pretty familiar with everything that had happened that night but they had tried to protect Ryan from the majority of the details.

"I didn't notice his knuckles but then again I was pretty much fixated on Grace."

"Grace doesn't like talking about it. I think she's trying to put it behind her. I'm not sure how anyone could. It must have been horrible for her."

"It was, honey. But she is talking to your Aunt Polly a lot. I think that's helping her. As soon as Dad gets done investigating all of this, I think Grace will do a lot better." A surge of business people walked in and so Maggie got busy really quickly. Mike didn't mind because it gave him a chance to talk to Ryan.

"You doin' okay since you got back?"

"Yes, sir."

"How are the nightmares?"

"Did Mom and Dad tell you I was having nightmares? I didn't want it to get back to the CNO or Master Chief."

"They didn't have to. And it's to be expected considering what you went through."

"Is there something I can do to stop them?"

"Talk."

"I don't have an appointment with that counselor for a month. I could have gotten an appointment sooner but I didn't want it to be reflected on my record, that I needed help. That kind of thing could be bad for career advancement and this knee may screw that up enough."

"There is nothing wrong with needing help. I've had to get it a few times in my career. And the thing about the CNO is, and I've known him since pretty much day one in our careers, he's had to get help at times too. There will be no judgement there."

"He and Master Chief have both called me a couple different times. I think they want me to talk. Just doesn't seem right to unload on them. What's bothering me isn't actually what happened and the fact that I got my men home, but they want to pin medals on my chest for what happened. Doesn't seem quite right. I had to kill four men to get us out of there. I shouldn't get awards and medals for that."

"You got your men out of there; you got home to marry my daughter. Yeah, they want to pin those medals on you. Give you those commendations, which I might add, are well deserved. Let them. You don't have to make any comments to the reporters. You can come home, and put the medals in a drawer and forget about them if you want. But focus on the fact that you got to come home, your men got to come in good shape. Because I promise you, there are a lot of soldiers and sailors that will never be awarded for what they've done. Accept it for them because they can't. Vietnam veterans for instance?"

"You sound like you're speaking from experience, sir?"

"I am. In my case, it wasn't because I had killed, although that is a good reason. At that point, I didn't know that Christine had died, didn't know where my girls were, and didn't know Matty existed. It felt horrible because I was accepting a Medal of Honor, and yet I had lost everything to the mission. I had left them. And now my name is known around the world because I was the second in command when we brought the cure home. It's why I retired and moved here. The CNO will tell you that he was expecting the next call he got regarding me, would be to tell him I'd ate a bullet or drank myself to death. I came here to do just that, and instead I found my kids, and I guess my purpose."

"Yeah, I get it, but sir? You have multiple Medals of Honor. No one else has that I know of has that. Not even the CNO."

"After the Arctic and I couldn't find my family? I suppose I was on a bit of a suicide mission. The world sees it as heroism. Those Medals? They're in a drawer. They've cost me too much. Maybe not my entire family like I originally thought, but they cost me Christine and Lucas. They cost Grace her childhood. They cost Hannah her innocence. And Matty, well, we're still bonding. That should have happened when he was born, not when he is five or six years old. I have a huge fear that missing out on those years and that time with him, will come back to bite me in the future. The popularity, the Medals? It doesn't mean squat when you look at the cost."

"I can understand that. But you're not proud of your service? Without you, the cure may never have come home. All those people in Vietnam and Japan would have died? The world's food supply?"

"Apples and Oranges. I may have saved lives, but like you, I also had to kill to do it. As far as being proud, it's hard to be when I see the costs on a daily basis."

"Without it though, you wouldn't have found Aunt Polly and the kids?"

"True. And I do love them. But my son might also have survived and despite the issues Christine and I had, I did still love her and I definitely would not wish her dead even if we ended up divorced. My point is, if you can't accept those awards for yourself, accept it for the men and women who will never get one. It'll make it easier to stomach."

"I really don't want to be interviewed about what happened."

"Then let the CNO handle that. It's okay to not want to. I never handled that part well either. And they didn't let me talk to the media. I tend to put egg on higher up's faces."

"That doesn't surprise me. I have stayed in touch with men to make sure they're okay."

"That's important. They also need to know you're okay too."

"Wasn't sure if it was proper."

"Nothing improper about it. It shows that you're a leader. One of the things that you can show your men is that it's okay to get help. I know you got the brunt of it, but they also saw and dealt with a lot. They need to know its okay to get help. Call for an earlier appointment. If you can't get one, call the CNO and tell him you need an earlier appointment. You're a leader, lead."

"Thank you, sir."

"And if you don't within the next couple days, I will call and make the appointment myself or I will call the CNO. If you need a ride there, I'll take you. If you ever need to talk, call me. Don't hesitate."

"Yes, sir, thank you, sir."

Mike got out of his seat, waved at Maggie, squeezed Ryan's shoulder and went on his way. He needed to pick Hannah up and check on Grace. He also wanted to do another walk through on the apartment. He figured Alec would tie up the investigation quickly and Grace would want to move back. Maggie had given him a to go order for Grace and him so he headed to her office.

He had become a familiar face at the sheriff's office and was generally buzzed in as soon as he walked in the door. There was a different dispatcher working and she apparently didn't know him. When he told her that he was Grace's dad and was there to see her, he could see a rather dark look on her face.

"I will have her come out. She doesn't need to be distracted from her work, not like she does that much." Mike heard one of the deputies holler at her to just buzz him in and to stop being so rude to the public. As Mike walked in, he noted it was the deputy that had visited Grace at the house. He had worked with her a lot when Grace was dispatching and they were as close as a brother and sister. Kirk had a look of annoyance on his face. Kirk apparently also didn't like the dispatcher, whose name was Tamara.

"Thanks, Kirk. Is Grace in her office? I have lunch for her."

"Yep, she's in there. Working her butt off. Tamara should take a cue from her. You know the way, given that you're commissioned."

Mike realized that the deputy was instigating Tamara. It had obviously made her mad but he didn't care because he was headed back to see his daughter. Alec had told Mike that both Tamara and her husband were officers but Alec wouldn't give them a commission. She was probably mad because Mike hadn't even been in town a month and had already cracked a massive case, been given a commission and offered a job. Grace had her head down working on something, so he knocked softly so not to scare her.

"Hey, sweetie. Ready for some lunch?"

"Oh, I could eat. Let me grab a couple bottle waters. Did you get something?"

"Yeah. Maggie sent me something, I have no idea what, she just handed it to me."

"Probably whatever you ordered last. Be right back."

A minute later, Grace was back with two bottles but was shaking her head. He had heard a raised voice from the kitchen but decided to just let it go. She had shut the door on her way in.

"What's wrong?"

"Oh, Tamara. It's my lunch break but she's acting like I haven't done anything today and shouldn't have one."

"What's Alec say about it."

"He told her to mind her own business. Kirk just left, he's going to run every plate in the grocery store parking lot just to be ornery."

"Him, ornery? No, way?"

"Yeah, exactly."

"So you're apartment is fixed up. Meets the dad inspection anyways. I also got you a new area rug."

"Daddy, you and I discussed this…"

"Yeah, we did. It was for my peace of mind. There's a bit of a stain on the grout that I couldn't get out so I covered it. Couldn't look at it."

"Oh. I guess I didn't notice it when you and I were there."

"It may not be obvious, but it stuck out like a sore thumb to me."

"Must have been from my head injury."

"You lost a lot of blood that night."

"Yeah, most of it has gone back to being foggy. I think Ryan is having some trouble. He's not sleeping well. That night that he stayed at our house, when you were with Hannah, I heard him wake up a couple different times."

"He and I spoke about it. I encouraged him getting an earlier appointment with the counselor. Offered to take him if need be."

"He hates asking Alec and Maggie for help. Maggie hates leaving the restaurant and Alec really can't leave the area. I don't think I'm quite up to driving long distances either."

"Well, once the appointment is made, I'll take him if need be. I have to take Hannah to the doctor tomorrow, and the next day is Matty's ballgame and then Hannah's Special Olympics event. I need to do some truck shopping for myself. Aside from that place that you got that car, is there anywhere local that sells vehicles?

"Oh, Dad, you need like a fifteen passenger van at the rate you are going with acquiring kids. Before too long, you and Polly will be having one." Mike threw his napkin at her but she did make a valid point. A truck may not be the best option and Polly only had a car.

"Car dealership? Local?"

"There's another one. Guy is fair. Alec knows him pretty well."

"Good."

"May have a people mover too. They can haul like twenty."

"I'll need room for grandkids at some point."

"Yeah, maybe. Or your own kids?"

"Cute. I thought it was you and Ryan that wanted a house full?"

"You're the one that has been talking about building a bedroom on. You need to build like three."

"Three? I only need another one for you."

"One for me and two for the kids you and Polly have. And that is only assuming you keep Max and Mattie in the same room."

"Who says we'll have any? Between us, there will be six of you guys. That's quite enough."

"Well, Lucas isn't here unfortunately and I won't be there most of the time."

"I still count Lucas even though he isn't here physically. As far as you're concerned, you may want a place to stay from time to time when Ryan is deployed. Hence the bedroom."

"So are you and Hannah getting a ring tomorrow?"

"That's the plan. Hannah is still a bit on the fence with everything. Polly thinks it'll help her if she's included."

"She's scared that you'll forget Mom."

"I know. I haven't really had a chance to talk to her about it either. I know I need to."

"I think deep down she knows none of us will forget Mom, but it is still a concern of hers. Especially where you're concerned. Not sure why."

"Hard to say. It is a legitimate concern."

"She remembers you guys fighting. She forgets that you weren't always fighting. Remember when you were trying to show me how to dance in the kitchen before my father/daughter dance? You and Mom started dancing in the kitchen, right after one of your louder fights. You were both laughing and smiling at each other. I choose to remember that. Not the fights."

"We really tried not to fight in front of you guys. To not be that loud."

"Well you have a booming voice and Mom's voice carried."

"I am sorry. I hate that that is what you remember about us. Not a good example of a relationship."

"I choose to remember you and Mom dancing in the kitchen. The way she would slap your hands away when she baked something and you'd laugh at each other. The good memories are there. And they outweigh the bad. Hannah just needs to be reminded of them."

"Yeah, but how?"

"She was there the day you guys were dancing. She saw it."

"She thinks I'm happier with Polly then I was with your mom."

"Are you?"

"Oh, boy."

"Just a question, there isn't a right or wrong answer."

"I loved your mom, still do."

"I don't doubt that."

"There were times that we were over the moon happy, or at least I was. Even at the end before I deployed."

"You didn't know it was the end, when you deployed. You didn't know that there was going to be a deadly virus, that Lucas would die, that Mom was pregnant and would die in childbirth. Or that you wouldn't find us until years after. The end wasn't the end when we were living it. It was just another day."

"I suppose."

"Daddy, you and Mom were happy. You had just hit a bad spot. I have no doubt that you would have gotten through it had the virus not happened. You didn't answer my question about being happier with Polly."

"Not sure if I am more or less happy. The connection I had with your mom is the same connection I have Polly. Maybe that is why I've moved so fast."

"I can see that. You and Mom always had almost a physic connection. It was weird. I see it with you and Polly. I would like to think I have it with Ryan."

"You do. I can see it. I do need to get going, pick Hannah up. You working until the end of the day?"

"Yeah. I can call that car dealer and see if he has any fifteen passenger vans?"

"You can call and see about a double cabbed truck or SUV. Preferably the truck. May end up getting Polly something bigger."

"Okay, I'd better get back to work. Thanks for bringing me lunch. I love you."

"I love you too, sweetie. And thank you for reminding me of the good times. It gave me something to give to Hannah." Mike reached down and kissed Grace on the cheek. He had thoroughly enjoyed his lunch with her and had already decided he would be showing up with lunch at least once a week. He had worried that when Grace moved out, he would lose some of the bond that he had with her but showing up with lunch would be one way to keep it. As he walked out the door, he could hear Kirk running a whole string of license plates and Tamara was visibly frazzled. It made him smile just a bit.


	38. Chapter 38

**Five Years Later**

Chapter 38

Hannah and Polly had had an equally productive day. She helped Polly clean house, or as much as she could. Hannah occupied Gabby too, and eventually got her to go to sleep, but also managed to rock herself to sleep. When Mike walked in, Polly shushed him and pointed towards the living room. Hannah was laid back in the recliner with Gabby sleeping on her chest. Gabby had a firm grasp on Hannah's t-shirt and wouldn't let go for dear life. It was a sweet picture. They sit down in the kitchen and started talking quietly so not to disturb the two sleeping girls.

"Sorry it took so long. Did a little more at Grace's apartment then I planned, then talked to Ryan for a bit. I ended up taking Grace some lunch and ate with her."

"Hannah didn't cause me any problems. She helped clean and occupied Gabby. I do think she was missing you a bit."

"I love getting to spend so much time with her. I hate that she got hurt but I think we both needed this. She was nine, barely, when I left. She's a completely different person. I love her, but I think I was still loving the nine year old Hannah, and I have to learn to love the fourteen year old Hannah. I'm not sure that makes any sense."

"It does. As long as she knows that you love her regardless, you're fine. She also has to get to know you too. Her memories are a bit dimmed I'm afraid."

"Yeah. She was so angry when I showed up. It hurt."

"She feels horribly about it too. I think that is your block with her. She feels horribly for how she treated you, how she acted and isn't sure how you could ever love her or forgive her. And you're still a bit hurt by her actions."

"I do love her."

"Mike, I have no doubt that you love her, but you are still caught up in the nine year old version. Not that one in there. You need this time with her. I think you've already figured out, she's pretty amazing. And maybe you have forgiven her, but you're still hurt. Maybe not so much by her as the fact that you aren't their hero anymore."

"Her and Grace's? Yeah. They were both daddy's girls. And I'm no one's hero."

"Well you are to a lot of people and even to them still to a point."

"I have a daughter who has lost a huge part of her childhood and honestly can survive just fine without me. She doesn't need me. Another daughter who I barely even know anymore and a son who barely knows me."

"Yeah, all of the above is true, but you also have three kids that absolutely adore you. Plus mine think a lot of you. As far as Grace not needing you? Who did she ask to fix her apartment? Technically it is Maggie and Alec's responsibility. She asked you. If she didn't need you or want you, she would have simply asked them. You are making positive strides with Hannah too. You have no idea how much she is looking forward to you and her going to that event Saturday. And Matty? He's six. It isn't rocket science. Coaching his ball team, taking him fishing, tucking him in every night all that is important. Because as you're figuring him out, he's doing the same with you."

"I hadn't really thought why she asked me to fix that drywall. She asked and I did it. As far as the event is concerned, I'm going to be way out of my depth on that one, but I am looking forward to it too."

"I do have one thing to ask."

"What's that?"

"Please shave."

"You don't like this look?"

"Not particularly. And I think it's freaking Gabby out."

"Yeah, she drew back when I kissed her this morning."

"She might decide she doesn't like you anymore."

"As long as her mom doesn't decide that, I'm good."

"Many more days without a razor and I might change my mind. Hannah did have me looking at wedding dresses this morning. That one in there is going to cost you a fortune when she gets married."

"That doesn't surprise me. What'd you pick out? I don't have to wear a tux do I?"

"Nah. What I have in mind is very informal. Probably just a pair of khakis and a shirt. Maybe a suit coat. Not even a tie."

"What about you?"

"You're not getting that out of me. I promise you, you'll like it. I'm not doing the fancy veil and high heels though. And it isn't white. After two kids, I think white is out. More of a cream color."

"I wouldn't care if you wore polka dots, as long as you're next to me. And I don't know how you feel about writing vows, but it's a no go for me. I would foul that up for sure, and would ruin our wedding night I'm sure."

"I wouldn't want that."

"Yeah, me either. We really need to set a date in stone."

"Monday we have an appointment with Pastor John at eleven am. He is truly condensing things because he said we could come back Friday for the second appointment. After that it's just a matter of getting the marriage license and having all the right people in the right place at the right time."

"So, two weeks then?"

"Two weeks from this Saturday?"

"Sounds like a good day to me. Nothing huge or formal. Very low key. The kids, Maggie, Alec and Ryan. Whoever you want to invite. You mentioned a best friend?"

"Yeah, I'll make him plan on coming. Need a best man. I think the world of Alec and Ryan but…"

"Oh, I get it. Don't worry. Maggie was my matron of honor when Paul and I got married. I love Grace but I'm thinking of asking Hannah. I just don't want to hurt Grace in the process."

"I can talk to her."

"No. It needs to come from me. I think if Hannah feels truly involved with everything, she will be okay. I do think you need to give Grace your wedding band though. From Christine.

"For Ryan?"

"Yeah. Do you have any jewelry of Christine's?"

"I have a box of her stuff from Norfolk. I think her jewelry box is in there. I haven't gone through it. No idea what happened to her wedding band and engagement ring. She might have been cremated with them."

"Have you asked Grace?"

"I hadn't thought of it honestly. It would seem weird to ask her now."

"I was thinking if she had them, it might not hurt to save them for Matty. Was there any other special piece of jewelry that might be significant to Hannah?"

"Christine never wore much jewelry. Just her engagement ring and wedding band and earrings. She had three pairs that she alternated between. When the kids were born, I got her a pair of earrings each time. Their birthstone. I think they call them 'push gifts?' I'm not sure if they would be in the jewelry box. I guess I could give Hannah the pair I got Christine when she was born."

"First of all, that's a very sweet gesture and I think both girls would like to get them. If they are in that box, go ahead and give Hannah's to her and wait for a while where Grace is concerned."

"Makes sense. There might be some other stuff in there. Christine just wasn't wild about stuff for herself. Aside from the perfume, she only wanted me to get stuff for the kids or the house. Never for her."

"You think Hannah is so much like her but I actually see you more in Hannah. Grace sounds like her mom."

"Hannah has my more negative attributes. Temper, impatience, stubbornness."

"Well I also see a lot of compassion, understanding, and loyalty. All attributes you have. Christine may have had them too but I see them with you."

"She did. I think we can both agree that Hannah is a spectacular person. Her mom and Grace did a great job with her."

"Oh, I think you played a part in it."

"I was barely ever around. I plan on making up for that now if I can. So back to the wedding planning. We have the when but we need the where?"

"The dock at your house? It's peaceful."

"Works for me. What about the reception? Just at my house?"

"Simple food and a small cake? Your house sounds good."

"Works for me. Wedding night? I think we both can agree we don't want to be away from the kids that long or go that far away."

"There's a nice hotel in Springfield. I can get reservations for us. And no, I don't want to be gone that long. I know it's stupid but I've never left Gabby overnight. Not sure how she'll handle it or how I'll cope."

"I wondered about that. It's not stupid."

"It doesn't bother you to not have a honeymoon?"

"Honeymoons are great when you're in your twenties but in your thirties and forties? When you have kids who have needs? I would be worried sick the entire time."

"It's just one night though."

"One night is enough. It's just so we can have some privacy. If you don't want to go, it's perfectly fine. I do understand."

"It's our wedding night. It's a night that's supposed to just be you and me. We can schedule the wedding for like two. They never take long. An hour or so for a reception. Maybe leave here by five, putting us there about six. Check out will be at eleven am. We'll be gone less than twenty four hours. I'll see if Maggie will keep Gabby that night. Maybe see if Grace can stay at your place and watch Max and Matty? Hannah doesn't need a babysitter but I wouldn't want her to be alone either."

"Or see if Hannah can go with Gabby? I know she loves Maggie but it might help if Hannah is there since they seem to love one another. Also might make me feel better where Hannah is concerned, not that Grace isn't capable of handling her, she will just be a couple weeks out of a major surgery."

"Yeah, makes sense. I'm sure they won't mind. I have already told the church board that I would be moving out of the parsonage. We hadn't discussed it but it makes sense."

"That's what I had planned. They don't question how fast we're moving?"

"Surprisingly, no. It does help that Alec is on the board though. He has a lot of sway."

"That makes me feel better. I was worried about it. You and I have been kind of unorthodox but I love it."

"Me too. I think the girls are waking up."

"Well, Gabby is. Hannah is still sleeping but as soon as Gabby is picked up, she will be too."

Mike walked over and very gently picked Gabby up. As he suspected, Hannah woke up and looked disoriented. He handed Gabby over to Polly and knelt down next to Hannah while she got her bearings. She seemed to be in a bit of pain.

"You okay, sweetie?"

"Yeah, just…ouch!" She had tried to sit up and moved wrong. Mike moved in front of her and grabbed a throw pillow from the couch to put some pressure on her abdomen. Waking up was sometimes rough on both her and Mike. Her pain level would be through the roof and it hurt Mike to see her like that. It only lasted a couple minutes, thankfully. Otherwise, Hannah had a high pain threshold.

"It's alright. I'm going to sit this chair up okay? It might help." She nodded at him and he put the foot stool down, but left the pillow on her abdomen. She leaned forward and he started rubbing her back gently. Within about three minutes, she was perking up and Mike helped her stand up. As soon as she was in a full standing position, she pulled Mike into a huge hug. It was unexpected but always welcome.

"I really love you, Daddy."

"I love you too, baby."

Mike wasn't sure what the sudden display of affection was about but he didn't mind standing there and holding her for a couple minutes. He might still be struggling a bit with Hannah, but he did absolutely adore her. She was an amazing person. He finally pulled away but kissed her on the forehead. She immediately started laughing at him.

"Daddy, you have got to shave. That's horrible."

"I will tonight. I was thinking about growing a beard but everyone keeps telling me not to. I'm not in the Navy anymore so I don't have to keep up regulations. What are we doing tomorrow?

"Doctor, ring, maybe lunch? Please?"

"Well, yeah, I am kind of obligated to feed you! I meant for fun?"

"Bowling is out. Maybe you can just pick something you think that I'll like to do?"

"Uh oh. I have no idea."

"Think about it! I can't hardly wait to get to spend some time with you. Every time we've planned something, there's an accident or attack. Can we just wrap everyone in bubble wrap until Saturday night?"

Mike nodded at her and she headed for the bathroom. He was beginning to get nervous about their time together and was half tempted to ask Polly to come along. But Hannah wanted one on one time, desperately. He had no idea what he was going to do for fun with her. Had he really spent that little time with her before the Red Flu that he would have no idea what she liked? Bowling had always been what he and Christine had done with her and was mostly instigated by Christine and Hannah. Grace and he frequently went horseback riding together, and Lucas and him would go fishing and camping. But Hannah? He was at a total loss. It made him feel like a horrible father. He remembered grumbling to Christine about even going bowling with Hannah. He had to find something to do with her that would be something uniquely just theirs. Hannah, Polly and Gabby came out and Mike knew it was past time to leave. He hugged and kissed both of them, which made Gabby slap his face away. She definitely didn't like the almost beard he had going and Polly even made a funny face. He would be shaving that night for sure.


	39. Chapter 39

**Five Years Later**

Chapter 39

Hannah would not tell Mike what she wanted to do the next day. He was absolutely clueless. Hannah had laid down on the couch to take another nap so he puttered around the house. She had been in a strange mood while she was awake. Mike was beginning to wonder if she had actually been awake and heard the conversation between Polly and him. It was damning for him. In hindsight, he had realized that he had never told Hannah that he loved her before the Arctic. If she overheard the conversation, it would not be a huge leap for her to wonder if he had ever loved her. She might have begun to wonder if when he did tell her, it was a lie. He realized what a massive sinkhole that he had stepped into.

He had another hour before he had to pick the boys and Grace up and Hannah was sound asleep. He decided to go ahead and shave. He had thought about keeping the stubble just to be ornery but Gabby slapping his face away had pretty well sealed the decision.

He went through the box of Christine's belongings. He had been the one to pack them, but was surprisingly emotional looking through everything. There were dozens of pictures, momentos and handwritten notes. One of the pictures was of right after Hannah was born. Of all the pictures he had, it was the only one where he was holding her. All the others, he was either holding Grace or Lucas. He looked proud enough of her in the picture and it did match his memory of that day. After having Grace, he had wanted a boy so badly. Christine had told him all throughout her pregnancy that Hannah would be a girl but he wasn't convinced. It made him wonder if he had been disappointed and had never properly bonded with Hannah. He would never say that he hadn't loved her; but he had apparently never told her either. He had deployed soon after her birth and when he did come home she was already walking. He redeployed soon after and when he came home, Christine was pregnant with Lucas. After Lucas was born, he had been caught up in the thrill of having a son. Hannah had been pushed back onto the back burner inadvertently.

He did find the earrings that he had given Christine when the kids were born. He left Grace's and Lucas' earrings in the box but kept Hannah's out. He had taken his wedding band off before the fiasco with Sarah Gibson and had just not put it back on. It went into the box along with the earrings and Mike decided to write Hannah a note. He did remember writing notes to the kids before the Red Flu, but had always signed off of Hannah's with a simple "Daddy," no "I love you" or anything of the sort. He felt terrible. He had loved Hannah before the Red Flu and definitely loved her now. Mike just didn't know how to fix it.

" _Hannah,_

 _I realized something. Before I left for the Arctic, I had never one time told you that I loved you or that I was proud of you. I have no idea why. I did and still do love you. That is not a lie. And I have always been proud of you. I just apparently never told you. I also have realized, the bowling was a thing that you and your mom liked to do together and if I was home, I went along with, most of the time unwillingly. I have no idea what you like. I didn't before and still don't now. You asked me to think about something you would like to do, and I am clueless. I will do anything that you want to do._

 _You have no idea how horribly I feel about this. You are and have always been an amazing girl. I thought I had a good bond with you before and I've only just realized, I had no bond at all with you and for that I am so, so, so very sorry. I want to build that now, but I need you to let me. I know reading this, you probably doubt everything I've said and done in the last couple weeks. The pandemic taught me many things, but most of all, to not be afraid to express my love for the people that I cared about._

 _I think maybe you overheard me talking to Polly this afternoon? The conversation was damning on my part and I can understand if you think that I don't love you. I only thought I knew and loved you before I deployed. I now know, I knew nothing. I am immensely proud of you. I love you so, so, so much. I always have. Never doubt that. If you want to be angry at me, it's okay. I deserve it. I thought I would only have to rebuild our bond, but I guess what I am asking for is forgiveness so I can build the bond that should have been there to begin with. If you don't want to forgive me, I understand. I will love you anyways._

 _Polly suggested I give you something of your mom's. I got her this pair of earrings when you were born. It's your birthstone. Kind of a thank you for giving me a beautiful, amazing daughter. I had also given her a pair when Grace and Lucas were born. It only seems appropriate that you have the ones I gave her when you were born now. She wore them a lot. Every time I see you wear them, I will think of your mom. She is never far from my thoughts anyway._

 _I looked through some pictures while I was looking for those earrings and found one picture where I was holding you. I am ashamed of that. Dozens of pictures and it's the only one._

 _You are the sweetest, most compassionate, generous person I have ever met, with the exception of your mom. I am hoping that you will be as forgiving as she was but I will understand if you just can't forgive this. I certainly don't deserve it._

 _I love you and I am so very sorry,_

 _Daddy"_

Mike had never felt worse. Hannah was still sleeping peacefully on the couch. He put a blanket over her, kissed her on the cheek and sit the note, earrings, and picture on the coffee table. He had to go get Grace and the boys. He wrote on the front of the note that he would be back soon and where he was going. He should have verbally told her what was in the note and he knew she would need to process everything, which meant she was best left alone. He had never hurt so badly and could only pray that she would forgive him and allow the bond to happen. It would not be easy either. He checked on her one more time before leaving. He hated leaving her alone but she also needed to rest.

After picking the boys up, Grace texted him that she had had a slew of warrants come over from court and would be working late. She would have Kirk bring her home. He took the boys back to Polly's and when Polly saw his face she instantly started laughing. Gabby practically jumped into his arms and gave him a sloppy kiss.

"You shaved! I figured you would drag your feet doing it. Where's Hannah?"

"Sleeping on the couch."

"You okay? You seem off."

"I realized today that before I deployed to the Arctic, I had never one time told Hannah that I loved her or was proud of her. I think she overheard our conversation."

"Oh, Mike. What are you going to do about it? I know that you have always loved her but why did you never tell her until after everything?"

"I wrote her a note, more or less begging for forgiveness. I don't deserve it but I pray that she gives it to me. She may not though and I have no idea what I'll do then. As far as why? I don't know. I also went through some pictures. Out of literally dozens of pictures that Christine had, there was one where I was holding and interacting with Hannah. Right after she was born. I have no explanation for it. And I am deeply ashamed of it."

"Why don't I keep Matty? She's gonna need some time with you, I think. Where's Grace?"

"Has to work late. As much as I hate to say it, it might be better if they aren't around because I have no idea what her reaction to the note will be. It might completely destroy her."

"Go, Mike. You need to be with your girl. I've got him and I can go in and get Grace and keep her here. She and I need to have a conversation anyway. I'll text her. You can come and pick them up when you feel the time is right and if not they can just stay here tonight. Grace can wear my pajamas even though I'm quite a bit bigger than her."

"I love you. Just pray, okay?"

"Absolutely, go. I love you too by the way."

Mike kissed Gabby who he had been holding the entire time and passed her off to Polly, giving her a kiss at the same time. He also leaned down and kissed both the boys on the top of the head. They were enthralled with a movie and barely noticed him leaving.

Back at the house, Hannah woke and realized that she was alone. She seen the note her dad left and picked it up. The picture made her smile. As she read the note, she cried some. She had known it for a while and when her dad showed back up, it was probably why she had been so horrible to him. When he came in to her room at Grace's that first night and told her that he loved her, she decided to change. She had no doubt that her dad loved her but it had been the second time she had ever heard him say it. The tears were because of how badly he felt. She had forgiven him for it, pretty much the first night he was back. He just had to forgive himself. He had not been a bad dad beforehand. He was always just busy. With work, Grace, Lucas, and her mom. Mom had known that her dad and Hannah had not bonded and so the bowling trips were her way of trying to make that bond happen. Hannah knew that Mike didn't always want to go.

She heard the Explorer pull back in and was surprised to just see her dad get out. It made her wonder where Matty and Grace were. Her dad just seemed so heavy hearted, just in the way he walked. She could see the tears streaming down his face even through the window. She stood up because she just wanted to hug him. She unlocked the door and opened it for him, immediately pulling him into a hug. She felt his tears falling on her skin and heard him crying. It made her want to cry but she was determined not to. Hannah kicked the interior door shut and just held onto him.

They stood there for what seemed like hours and Hannah was starting to wear down. She leaned into her dad a bit more so, more for his strength than anything else. Hannah finally somehow maneuvered them both to the couch and managed to get them sit down. She was exhausted and had only woke up a few minutes beforehand. Hannah finally settled to where her head was on her dad's chest and before she even realized it, she was falling asleep. He had stopped crying so hard and had his arms around her.

Mike had figured that Hannah would meet him with tears, anger, rejection, and major attitude. He was not prepared for the reaction that he got. It was absolutely beautiful. She had fallen asleep on his chest again and he just held her. Thankfully his cellphone was in his other shirt pocket and so he didn't have to disturb her. He eased it out and texted Polly a smiley face. He didn't want to get into a long and drawn out conversation at the moment. He wanted to concentrate on Hannah. He did hear his phone vibrate and knew it was an answer back.

 _"Boys are okay. I texted Grace and will go get her when she's ready. Just concentrate on Hannah. I love you both."_

 _"Love you too. She fell asleep on my chest again."_

 _"I think you've got more of a bond then you think."_

 _"Yeah, maybe. I'll text you when she's awake."_

Mike concentrated back in on Hannah. He truly didn't deserve her. She was starting to wake up and was groaning in pain. He very gently repositioned her so she wasn't lying at an angle and kissed her on the cheek. It woke her up and she smiled at him, broadly.

"I love you, Daddy. You don't need to be forgiven for anything. I knew that you loved me, even if you never said it. I need you to stop beating yourself up about it. I had known it for a while. That first night, at Grace's apartment, when you told me that you loved me? It was the first time I remember you saying that and I knew that you meant it. As far as finding something to do, I have an idea. I'll give you an address tomorrow. My youth group did a service project to this veteran's home. I've been back a couple times since. One of the guys there, a Marine, had an RPG shot into his Humvee. He got burnt real bad and can't talk anymore. It burnt his vocal cords. Only one hand is not damaged so I've been teaching him some sign language so he can communicate. He doesn't have any family. It's sad. I know it's not your idea of fun and honestly it's not fun but it is what I want to do."

"You're amazing. I love you so much. If that's what you want to do, then that's what we'll do. As far as not beating myself up? I will always beat myself up. I have no good explanation, or reason. I have completely failed you. You deserve so much better than what I have been. How I never told you that I loved you, or really ever bonded with you, its inexcusable, Hannah. Totally, completely unforgivable…"

"That's where we disagree. I have forgiven you. I will admit, it did hurt a lot when I would hear you tell Grace or Lucas that you loved them and not me. I didn't understand it then but I did know that you loved me. I don't really know how I knew, but I did always know. I think Mom was the one who bridged that gap between us, and now she's gone. The bridge is gone. So we have to build a new bridge which we're already doing. I do think that is why I've had issues with you and Polly getting married. I guess I was afraid that when you and Polly got married; you would forget Mom and the one connection we had would be gone. I didn't want that. Grace has moved on from Mom dying and Matty never knew her so I guess I was the one who was stuck. I love Polly and I am okay with you guys getting married."

"I will never forget your mom, ever. Yes, I've moved on with Polly but your mom will always hold a piece of my heart. A big piece. And I am so sorry that I hurt you like that. I have no explanation for never bonding with you. I deployed when you were just a couple weeks old. In that time I was psychologically preparing myself, so I distanced myself. By the time I came back, you were a toddler. I was only home a couple months and then left again. When I came back, Mom was pregnant with Lucas and I was thrilled when he was born. I pushed you away. As much as I hate to say it now, in favor of Grace and Lucas. I was home for a while that time but was vying for a promotion, so that took a lot of my time. I hate to admit this and despite what you say it's completely unforgivable. Just because I didn't bond with you and seemed to favor Grace and Lucas; I did love you. "

"Hold that thought. I'll be right back."

"You okay?"

"Yep. Be right back."

Hannah had walked towards her bedroom. Mike didn't have a clue what she was doing. He texted Polly that things were going well and would see about coming and getting Matty and Grace. She texted back and told him that Kirk had brought Grace to her house and they were mid conversation. He hoped it went well. He could see how Grace might also get hurt and knew that was not Polly's intention. Hannah walked back in carrying a box. He remembered her keeping a keepsake box when she was little and apparently she still had it. She sit down next to him and opened the box, pulling out a picture.

"There are actually three pictures. I can't remember this but I always loved it. That's why I kept it." It was a picture of him holding her. She was wearing his cover and they were both grinning broadly. She was about three. He was wearing his summer whites and had been a second lieutenant. Looking at the picture, he remembered the day. He had been deployed to the Med and had just returned home. Hannah had run up to him and he picked her up to keep her out of the other sailor's way. She had grabbed his cover and put it on her head and smiled at him. He was actually smiling at someone else, not at Hannah. Christine had just happened to have captured the moment. He remembered sitting her down, taking his cover back, and hugging Grace and Lucas. Completely ignoring Hannah.

"Hannah, I only picked you up to keep you out of the way. I was smiling at someone else. It's a sweet picture, but it's not quite what you think."

"Or this one." She handed him another picture out of the box. It was at her sixth birthday party. Somehow both he and Hannah had ended up covered in cake. He was carrying her to the bathtub, only because Christine didn't want to get cake on herself and he had already gotten it all over him. He remembered being frustrated that day. He had had tickets to a ballgame but Christine made him stay home since it was Hannah's birthday. He would be deploying again soon and she felt that he needed to be home.

"Hannah, I appreciate you keeping these but both these pictures have a story to them. Your mom didn't want to get cake on her or all over the house so I ended carrying you to the bathtub because I was already covered. I was actually frustrated that day. I had tickets to a ball game and your mom made me stay home instead. I was a horrible father to you.

"Do you remember that little girl in my class? Her name was Jenni? Would have been my first grade year?"

"No. Sorry, I don't."

"Her dad was horrible. He beat on her pretty regularly. I remember she would come to school with bruises everywhere. She and I were pretty good friends and Mom would let her stay the night. She would tell me how lucky I was because you never beat on me, always made sure I had food and clothes."

"Okay, yeah, I do remember her now."

"Remember what happened to her?"

"Kind of?"

"You took me to school one day and everyone was crying. There were police officers around and one of them told you that Jenni's dad had killed her through the night. I started crying and you picked me up and held me. Remember it now?"

"Yeah it was sad. He beat her to death. She didn't weigh hardly anything; the only food she got was at school or our house. I remember not understanding how any father could do that to his child. What I did to you isn't any better though. I just didn't kill you."

"I never worried about you hurting me though. I honestly don't even remember you even spanking me."

"Never needed to. You just always kind of fell in line. And you were always happy no matter how horrible I was to you."

"Daddy, you were never horrible. You weren't. You don't think you and I bonded but it's there. If it wasn't, you wouldn't have missed me after the Red Flu. The first things you said when you saw me at Grace's apartment that night was that you loved and missed me. I don't think you were lying."

"I wasn't. I did miss you. I worried about you too. I just don't know that that says we had a bond though. I guess if you want to see it that way you can. I want something better than that with you. You deserve the same bond that I have with Grace and even Matty. Same bond I had with Lucas. If what you're saying is right, it's not nearly as strong as my bond with them."

"Okay, how about we just build something stronger. Not sure how to exactly but I do want to."

"Me too. We should probably go get Grace and Matty. I think Polly is planning on us for dinner."

"Okay." Hannah eased herself up with Mike's help. Before she took the box back to her room, he pulled her into a massive bear hug. She had essentially given him a pass, something he didn't deserve. She had convinced herself that there had been a bond there all along and had forgiven him. She finally pulled away from him but he did kiss her on the forehead before she walked away.

"Oh, thank you!"

"For what?"

"You shaved! That was horrible. Please don't do that beard thing again."

"I liked my beard! I think Polly was ready to call off the wedding though if I didn't shave."

"I wouldn't have blamed her. Be right back!"

Mike laughed at her. He was exhausted. He had never felt so emotional, not even when Lucas had died or around his birthday. He was beyond blessed, because of how forgiving Hannah was being. She could have easily rejected him. He would have deserved it. She came back out of her bedroom, trying to get her jacket on. Mike helped her into it and threw his arm around her and they walked out. He had texted Polly to let her know they were on their way. He hoped the conversation between her and Grace had gone well. He knew Polly had been really worried about it.


	40. Chapter 40

**Five Years Later**

Chapter 40

Thankfully, the conversation between Grace and Polly went a lot better than Polly or Mike anticipated. Grace told Polly that she had wanted her to ask Hannah to be Maid of Honor and had she asked Grace, she would have told her no, so that Hannah could be. Grace did ask to go when Polly picked out her dress, which would be done that Saturday night after the Special Olympics event. Maggie and Hannah would also be going with, and Mike would be on babysitting duty.

Polly immediately noticed that there was no tension between Hannah and Mike. He was still pretty heavy hearted but at least everything was out in the open now. They just had to heal. Hannah was well on her way and would pull Mike with her. As soon as Hannah walked in, Gabby had immediately tried to crawl to her, which was hilarious to watch. As much as she loved Mike, if Hannah was close, Gabby immediately wanted her. She was still pulling at her ear and Polly had made her an Ear, Nose, and Throat doctor's appointment. Mike put some of the sweet oil in her ears and that seemed to have helped her.

Mike and Polly told the kids what the wedding plans were over dinner since Hannah had told him she was okay with it. Polly had quietly asked her if she would want to be her maid of honor. Instead of answering her, Hannah gave her a massive hug. It was all the answer that Polly needed.

Mike told Polly what Hannah wanted to do the next day for "fun." She had actually gone with the teens on the service project and gave him the address. She told him it was an amazing place. She had met Jeremy, the Marine that Hannah wanted to teach sign language to. She did tell Mike quietly that he was horrifically scarred. Most of the kids had completely ignored Jeremy, but not Hannah. Jeremy's face was so badly burnt that his eyes were more or less slits, and there were holes for his nostrils and mouth, no ears, no hair. His left hand was gone, and he was paraplegic. The fire the RPG had caused had burnt his vocal cords as well so he couldn't talk. His buddies had died when the Humvee exploded, and Jeremy was the only survivor. Jeremy's parents and brother and sister died during the Red Flu. Polly told Mike that Hannah had visited with Jeremy anytime they went to Springfield. Jeremy couldn't smile but he seemed to just light up when Hannah came around. No one gave him the time of day. Grace overheard part of the conversation and told Mike that when Hannah knew that she was going to get to visit Jeremy, she would bus tables at Maggie's so she could earn a bit of money. She would then take the money and buy Jeremy movies and car magazines. Mike knew that he would be going to the store that night to get Jeremy a few of his favorite items.

Supper was very light hearted. The kids all joked about Mike finally shaving and the fact that if he hadn't Polly was going to call off the engagement and none of them would let him kiss them. Even Gabby was babbling at him, expressing her opinion. When he picked her up out of the high chair, she patted his face, kissed him on the nose and cuddled up to him. It was well past her bedtime and so he sit down in rocker and rocked her to sleep. Hannah, Grace and Polly were cleaning up supper and the boys were finishing their movie.

Mike carried Gabby to her room to lay her down in the crib. Polly had changed her into a fresh diaper and sleeper before supper and so all Mike had to lay her down. She did wake up slightly when he laid her down and so he rubbed her belly until she fell asleep. When he turned around Polly was watching him.

"She woke up a little."

"I think she loves you just a bit."

"The feelings mutual. I was going to ask if after we got married, if I could adopt her and Max? We hadn't discussed it."

"I figured that you would want to. I do have one request. Paul had adopted Max and so his last name is Hadley. I know with you adopting them, the last name will change to Slattery. I'm okay with that. I would like them both to keep the "Hadley" as a middle name. I think it's important that Paul still play a role in their lives. They love you and you will be the father that they know, but they also need to know they had another father who loved them too."

"I don't have a problem with that at all. You're okay with me adopting them? Especially with how badly I have bumbled things up, especially with Hannah?"

"Mike, the fact that you recognize that you've made a mess and are trying to fix it, makes it okay with me. It was never, ever a fact that you didn't love Hannah and I do think there was a bond there. You just realized it wasn't what you wanted it to be. Hannah knew she was loved. I have no reservations about sharing kids with you. If you refused to recognize it, or had never loved her? Then I would have an issue."

"Well, I can promise you, I always loved her. And maybe I did bond with her without realizing it. I was so ashamed when I told her that I had favored Grace and Lucas over her. She is being so forgiving about the entire thing. I definitely don't deserve it."

"The important thing is you recognize it now and have stopped favoring one child over another. I love Grace and Matty. They're both amazing. But Hannah? How many fourteen year olds spend every free moment with special kids? Learn sign language to communicate with them? Coach Special Olympics teams? Use their money to buy disabled, horrifically scarred veterans movies and magazines?"

"None that I know of. Grace was fourteen when I left but she never did those things. Don't get me wrong, she was awesome too but Hannah? She is so much like Christine, so selfless…"

"I never will have the pleasure of knowing Christine but my guess is, those positive attributes? They didn't all come from Christine. You seem pretty selfless too."

"I don't know. Maybe. Both girls are pretty spectacular. Christine did good. And Grace did well with Matty. She did have some help. Maggie, you…"

"Maggie, more so. I didn't do much."

"Hmm. I don't quite believe that."

"Believe it. I am really glad you shaved. That stubble was driving me crazy."

"Gabby slapped me away this afternoon, you made a funny face when I kissed you and even Hannah asked me to shave. I really wanted a full beard but I also really want to marry you and I didn't want that to be what broke up our engagement."

"Yeah, I was tempted to issue an ultimatum! And I think the kids were going to start revolting too! Let's get out of here before we wake Gabby up."

"Yeah. I need to get the kids loaded up. I want to run by the store and get some stuff for Jeremy. Anything you can think of that he might like?"

"Nah. He was always thrilled with the car magazines and action movies. Anything cop or military related. He's on a soft diet so food is out. I have kept in touch with the manager and he promised me that he would call me if anything changed with Jeremy's situation. I know there is a money issue."

"Shouldn't be. Military benefits should cover all of his medical needs."

"You'd have to ask the manager, Mike. I think it has to do with his disability check but I'm not sure. I think his medical stuff is covered. There's just no money for anything else."

"I'll make some calls after I meet him and get more of the story. That man should have no concerns."

"My thoughts too. He was always thrilled with everything Hannah brought him."

"I can't imagine the hell he's gone through. And to not be able to communicate? Talk it out. I just can't imagine."

"Watch Hannah with him. I think he communicates. It's just not normal."

"Well if it's anything like it was watching her with Josh and the others, it's amazing."

"Yep. Max, time to sleep! Matty has to go home and go to bed too."

"But, Mommy, when can we just stay at Daddy's and Matty and I can share a room?" It was the first time Max had called Mike "Daddy," and it took his breath away. He didn't expect it until well after he and Polly had gotten married. Polly seemed equally as surprised but knelt down next to Max.

"Sweetie, it's just two more weeks and we will be living there. And I bet you'll probably have some sleep overs before then. Maybe Saturday night, Mike? Hannah and Grace are going with Maggie and I to pick out a dress, we'll pick Gabby up on the way back and we'll have a girl's night?"

"Sounds like a plan to me. Max, you and I and Matty can have a boy's night then. That sound good?"

"Yeah that'll work, I guess. Why can't you guys get married faster?"

"Yeah, Daddy, you should get married faster!"

Polly and Mike just laughed at the two boys. Hannah and Grace were both headed out to the Explorer already and Mike bent down and kissed Max good night. Matty climbed up on his back and Mike stood up with him still on there. Matty was laughing at his "piggyback ride." He kissed Polly goodnight and told both her and Max that he loved them and headed for the door, bending way down so Matty didn't hit his head. The whole time Matty was laughing at him. Mike didn't trust his shoulder to hold out going down the steps so he sit him back down and grabbed his hand, walking towards the Explorer.

"I love you, Daddy. I am really; really glad you and Polly are going to get married. Do I need to start calling her Mommy now?"

"I love you too, Matty. You can start calling Polly Mom anytime you want and if you never want to its okay too. She loves you anyway. Does it bother you that Max called me Daddy?"

"No. I'm glad he did. He was not sure what to call you and I told him it would be okay with you. I hope that's okay?"

"It's perfectly fine. Let's get you in the car. I have to go to the store to get something for Hannah's friend and then we'll go home and get you to bed."

"Okay. Can I sleep in your bed tonight, please?"

"You bet."

Mike got Matty situated in the Explorer; Grace was sound asleep in the passenger front seat, leaving Hannah the only one awake. He patted her arm and smiled at her.  
"We're gonna stop at the store and get Jeremy a couple things. I need your help."

"Okay. I was just realizing I hadn't gotten him anything and I didn't want to ask you for the money to get the stuff."

"I'll cover it. Just stay awake long enough cause I don't know what to get him."

She smiled sweetly at him and nodded. Matty was already nodding off. He got in and looked over at Grace. She was semi awake and he quietly explained what they would be doing. She would stay in the Explorer with Matty while Mike and Hannah went in the store. She seemed a bit off and Mike knew something was not right.

"What's wrong, Gracie?"

"This deal with Tamara. I just want it all to be done. I just want to move back to my apartment and go on with my life. I understand why you want me to hold off but I just want to put this past me."

"I know, baby. Any idea how the investigation is going?"

"Alec has gotten a search warrant for the phone records. I don't understand it all. He just told me it's a process and to be patient."

"Well, you take after me in the patience department but he is right. Do you still want the big sleepover you had talked about for the first night?"

"Yeah. And then the next night, I want to be by myself."

"But with your phone close by for your old dad's peace of mind?"

"Yep, as long as you have yours close for mine?"

"Absolutely."

"I love you, Daddy."

"Love you too, honey."

They got to the store and Grace went back to looking at her phone. Matty was sound asleep and Hannah looked groggy but did get out of the vehicle. They made it a fast trip through the store. She grabbed a couple movies that she knew Jeremy didn't have and Mike picked out a couple car magazines. He had been nervous initially about his day out with Hannah but now he was really excited about it. Her idea of fun was a little questionable but he would enjoy it regardless. He was also really looking forward to the ring shopping. The only part of the day that would not be fun would be the doctor's appointment. Mike was praying that the stitches would come out easily and the liver was growing back.

Once they got home, Mike had to carry Matty in. He woke him just enough to change him into his pajamas and settle him into bed. As per his request, Mike put him in his bed. He had wanted Matty to get used to sleeping in his own bed but Mike had a rough time telling the little guy no. Besides, Matty was not asking for a lot. It helped to build a bond between them, something Mike needed all the help he could get with, considering the fact that he had next to no bond with Hannah.

Mike kissed both girls good night. Hannah had overdone it physically which made Mike worry about the next day. Grace was also exhausted but it was more of a mental exhaustion. The investigation was wearing on her and she desperately wanted to take her life back. As long as it hung over their heads, she was stuck in the moment where she was raped even though Daniel and Sarah had killed themselves. She needed to move back to her apartment, she needed to have a normal relationship with Ryan, and have a typical father-daughter relationship with Mike. She needed to go back to just being an older sister; not a mother figure. She needed a lot of things; and they were all things that she would have once the investigation was over.

After making sure both girls were sleeping soundly, Mike locked up and crawled into bed next to Matty. He immediately sensed Mike getting into bed and rolled over, essentially on top of Mike. As badly as he wanted Matty to start sleeping in his own bed before he and Polly started sharing a bed; he was going to miss Matty cuddling up so close to him. There would be other opportunities but Mike did love how affectionate and trusting Matty was. Mike finally drifted off, and dreamed about being married to Polly and having a companion that he could tell anything to.


	41. Chapter 41

**Five Years Later**

Chapter 41

Hannah's doctor's appointment went better than Mike expected. The stitches came out and were replaced with glue that would dissolve, her labs were good and the ultrasound of her liver showed new growth. Due to losing her spleen, her immune system would be iffy but so far that was the biggest concern. The doctor cleared her to go back to school as long as she didn't do anything sports related. He was fine with her coaching at the Special Olympics event as long as she didn't try and participate. He did warn Mike that Hannah would still tire out easy and it would be prudent to keep her to half days at school for a while. The local clinic would draw her next labs and she would be back at the doctor's for an ultrasound and checkup in two weeks. It took a load off Mike's mind knowing that Hannah was recovering.

They had decided to go to the veteran's home as soon as they were done with the doctor because Hannah didn't want to wear down before going and it was close to the doctor's office. She was practically shaping with excitement. When Mike pulled up to the Veteran's Home, he was shocked at how neat and tidy it was. There were probably a half a dozen men sitting on the front porch. Some of them were missing limbs, were in wheelchairs or scarred. As soon as Hannah walked up on the porch, they all greeted her by name. He had asked her not to tell them that he had been in the Navy, his rank or that he had been on the Nathan James, however some of the men seemed to recognize him and a few of them tried standing at attention. He finally told them not to worry about it. One of them told Mike and Hannah that Jeremy was in the day room and the manager, Peter would be there too.

The veteran's home was surprisingly homey. Hannah greeted the various residents and nurses by name and gave a few hugs. They all seemed genuinely excited to see her. They finally got to the day room. Several of the residents called to Hannah by name and she went around and talked to them all. Mike was totally amazed. They were all varying ages and disabilities but had all lit up when they seen Hannah. Most of them pretty well ignored Mike. Hannah finally came back next to him and guided him towards the far side of the room. There was a figure in a wheelchair looking out the windows and another man standing next to him, Mike's guess was that he was the manager, Peter and the man in the wheelchair was Jeremy.

"Now, Daddy, don't react to how he looks. He is probably going to try and stand at attention too. I told him a bit about you so he knows you're an officer. Peter is with him. I called this morning to let him know we were stopping by. Just treat him like a normal person, he doesn't look like one but he does like to be treated that way."

"Will do." They walked towards Jeremy and Peter and the closer they got, Mike realized that Jeremy was essentially a mass of skinned. When they got close enough, Peter leaned down and told Jeremy that Hannah and her dad were there to visit. Jeremy immediately turned his wheelchair around by the hand control. He did try and "stand" in his wheelchair but Mike immediately told him that he was at ease. Jeremy turned his attention to Hannah and she sit down on a foot stool next to him and started showing him the movies and magazines that they had gotten the night before. They started signing back and forth and Mike realized, the look that Hannah got when she was interacting with Josh or any of her "friends" was also the same look she had now. She was completely happy.

"When I told Jeremy that Hannah and you were visiting today, he immediately lit up. The only visitor he ever has is Hannah. Since his family died, he's been all but forgotten about. The Marines have even forgotten him. He's the only one that survived so he has no battle buddies left."

"I'm engaged to Polly Hadley. She told me something about there being problems with his disability check?"

"He doesn't get one. His medical benefits take care of him physically but that's it. His personal items are all donation, which is something that Jeremy hates. He loves it when Hannah shows up with those movies and magazines because she terms them as 'gifts' not as charity."

"What was his rank? I have some connections and will be making some calls."

"Private First Class. The other residents get disability checks but they had someone to fight for them after the Red Flu. Not Jeremy. And I can only do so much."

"You've done a lot. I know it was hard to get money out of the government after the Red Flu but he needs to not have one concern in the world. I'll fight for him."

"Hannah is a special girl. When she told me this morning that she was bringing you with her, I suspected that Jeremy would finally have an ally. I think our government is content with him dying in this place with nothing to his name."

"He may very well die here but he will die with no concerns. He will be given the full support of the military."

"How can you guarantee that?"

"I am still good friends with the CNO. And I am not afraid to use my connections."

"The CNO will help with this?"

"Yep. He will. He's a Marine and we are both old sailors but one thing rings true for all branches. Leave no man behind. Jeremy has been left behind, but no more."

"You're mad?"

"Yeah, I am. And when I get mad, I get focused. He'll have his check soon."

"I will take your word for it. If I can be of any assistance?"

"I will put Tom Chandler in touch. He may have some questions."

"Oh my God, you were on the Nathan James? Second in command? I just put two and two together. You have multiple Medals of Honor…"

"I'm done with all that. My focus now is raising my kids. Jeremy is important to Hannah, so he's important to me, which will make him important to Tom."

"Well, have him call me."

"Will do, I hate to pull Hannah away but…"

"Jeremy needs to eat anyway. He doesn't like to have people around when he's fed."

"Okay, Hannah, time to go, honey. It's time for Jeremy's lunch. Jeremy, I will bring her back next week, I promise." Mike gently helped Hannah off the foot stool because she had stiffened up. Jeremy signed something to her and she gave him a broad smile.

"He said to tell you, thank you for bringing me today and we don't have to bring the movies and magazines next time."

"Jeremy, it's an absolute honor to have met you. The gifts are just a small token of my appreciation for your sacrifices and there will be more. Thank you for your service."

Jeremy signed something back to Hannah and she grinned at Mike broadly. "He says thank you for yours and it has been an honor to meet you too."

Mike smiled at him and squeezed his shoulder, telling him bye. Hannah had done the same thing and so Mike just simply repeated the action. They told everyone goodbye and headed out. Hannah had worn down considerably but was determined to at the very least pick out the ring. She decided to take a power nap before lunch and ring shopping and had leaned back in the car seat. Despite being so angry about Jeremy's situation, Mike was incredibly proud of Hannah. Mike pulled into the mall parking lot but decided to let Hannah extend her nap and called Tom.

"Hey, Mike, I was beginning to wonder if you had fallen off the face of the Earth?"

"No, just been busy. Are you busy at the moment?"

"No, eating at my desk. Just have to listen to me chewing."

"Okay, I can handle that. I need some help."

"You need help?"

"Yeah, well not me, but for me. Hannah has befriended a veteran from the Iraq War. Private First Class Jeremy Adler. Was a Marine. He's in a veteran's home in Springfield. Medical is taken care but since the Red Flu, he gets no disability check. No one was left to help him get one and he isn't capable."

"Jeez. How badly disabled?"

"Right hand is gone, paraplegic; vocal cords are burnt so Hannah had been teaching him sign language, essentially no face. No nose or ears, his mouth and eyes are just slits."

"Family?"

"Mother, father, brother and sister all died during the Red Flu. Marine buddies died too. An RPG was fired into the Humvee. He was the only one that survived."

"I have a meeting with the President. I'm drawing him in. He needs his benefit check."

"I'll text you the information to the veteran's home. You'll need to speak with Peter."

"Gotcha. So are you still engaged?"

"Oh, yeah. That's the second thing. Two weeks from tomorrow, we're getting married. Two o'clock, be there, my house. And I need a best man. You're it. Hope you don't have something else because I really want you there?"

"I'll be there. I'm intrigued by the idea of you marrying a pastor so I have to meet this woman. Sasha, too?"

"Well, yes. I wouldn't have dreamed of not inviting her. Might see if Russ wants to come with?"

"Will do. How are the kids?"

"Grace is struggling. The two that raped her killed themselves within twelve hours of each other, which has opened up a new investigation regarding a coworker and her husband. She needs to move back to her apartment, she's ready. But now while the investigation is still wide open, I don't feel comfortable with her being alone and she is okay with that. She needs to just move on."

"Is she in danger?"

"Not sure, but the sheriff agrees that she needs to stay with me until he closes the investigation. She's just exhausted by it all. And Ryan is having some issues. I told him if he doesn't make that appointment sooner, I would."

"I'll make a call and get him an appointment sooner."

"Okay. I told him to involve you if need be. He's afraid it will be reflected on his service record."

"I will make sure it's not. And Hannah and Matty?"

"Hannah is doing better. Liver is growing back, she just exhausts easy. She's taking a power nap right now."

"How did she get involved with a veteran's home?"

"Youth group thing. She also helps coach at a Special Olympics event tomorrow and spends every free moment in Special Education class. Tom, it's unreal to watch her."

"And you're not just a bit proud?"

"Oh just slightly. A couple weeks ago, I was thinking she was this brat but now?"

"Not so much?"

" No, I underestimated her. She's inherently good. Not sure where that came from but…"

"Well you have your moments."

"No. More like Christine. Matty is good. He can't understand why Polly and I aren't getting married sooner."

"You haven't even known her a month?"

"Yeah, exactly. I would be good with sooner and I think Polly would be too but it takes some time to get a marriage license and the pastor wants us to go through premarital counseling."

"Probably smart."

"I can see the advantages."

"Have you gone on a date yet?"

"No. Nothing with just me and her. Hannah was going to babysit for us but then we had the accident and neither of us want to ask her to mind two six year olds and a six month old."

"Would Grace help?"

"Probably but she's not in much better shape and I really want her to not feel responsible for her younger siblings. She needs to be a normal nineteen year old."

"I agree but I do think you and Polly need at least one date before you get married."

"I don't disagree. It's just the logistics of it. Balancing five kids is a feat."

"Balancing my two is a feat; a third is going to be interesting. I can't imagine five. Course Grace being an adult probably helps."

"It does. But she still needs time too. I took lunch to her office one day this week. I think it's one of the best lunches I've had in a long time. Was just relaxed."

"That's how it's supposed to be. Don't overthink just being their dad."

"Yeah. I'm still learning. Hannah's waking up and usually the first couple minutes are rough so I'd better let you go. Call me if you need anything concerning Jeremy, or Ryan. How's the baby by the way and Sasha, the kids?

"Okay and I am sure I will talk to you before the wedding. As far as Sasha and the kids, all good. Baby is active."

"Good. Thanks for everything."

"Anytime."

Mike hung up and focused back on Hannah. She was groaning a bit but seemed to be doing a bit better since she got her stitches out. He went around to the passenger's side of the Explorer, opened the door and gently sit the seat back up. Hannah smiled at him broadly and pulled him into a hug.

"I love you so, so much Hannah. You have no idea how proud of you that I am."

"Love you too, Daddy. Let's go find a ring for Polly. I bet there's a restaurant in here too. Then we can get headed home."

"Wearing down on me?"

"Little bit, but Grace and I talked this morning. We decided you and Polly need to have a date so you can give her the ring. We're gonna watch the kids tonight. Course, that's just if we can get the ring sized right away."

"That'll be nice. I hope so. Let's go, kiddo. Get you home so you can get some rest before tonight."

The first jewelry shop in the mall that they looked at had complimentary ring sizing. It would take an hour. After some debate with Hannah and a lot of help from her, he found a ring. It was a sapphire, surrounded by the chocolate diamonds and lighter blue stones. They were in an almost wave motion on the ring. It was a rose gold ring and Mike went ahead and got a matching wedding band. Hannah said it reminded her a little bit of the ocean. It was a beautiful set and Mike hoped that Polly liked it. Hannah said she would love it.

Lunch was lighthearted and fun. Mike was thoroughly enjoying the one on one time with Hannah. He had been nervous initially about his time with Hannah but it was easy. After lunch, they looked at a couple clothing stores because she was still lacking in appropriate, Dad approved clothes. He did spoil her just a bit. The ring was picked up and he was tempted to send Polly a picture of it; but Hannah told him to let it be a surprise. He did text her that they were finally going on a date that night and babysitting was secured. Ryan was also going to help the girls. He was looking forward to his time alone with Polly. The drive home was quiet because Hannah had gone back to sleep, and by the time they got home, it was time to pick up the boys and Grace.


	42. Chapter 42

**Five Years Later**

Chapter 42

It had been a lot of years since Mike had been on a date. He and Christine would go out but it was different when you're married. He had no clue what to do, or what to wear. Hannah had apparently had gotten a second wind and was working on school work in her room. Grace was staying late at work and Ryan and she would go to Polly's when she was done, using Ryan's truck. Mike would drop Hannah off and pick Polly up. The boys were already at Polly's.

"Hannah?"

"Be right there." Hannah came into his room a minute later and immediately started laughing at the clothes and shoes on the bed and floor.

"Okay, seriously Dad? You can't yell at me when my room is a mess."

"Noted. But I'll clean mine up. I have no idea what we're doing. What Polly likes. So I don't know what to wear?"

"She likes Italian food. Here's the address to her favorite place in the city."

"Okay. Got it but what type of clothes and I think I should probably do something more than just feed her."

"Well, there's a park that is really pretty. Flowers are starting to bloom, and they have twinkly lights in the trees, here's the address. Super romantic."

"Movie?"

"Daddy, you can't talk in a movie and you and Polly need to actually talk about things besides us kids. Like favorite foods, hobbies, blah, blah, blah. Things people talk about before they get engaged. It's super cute what you two have done but you should at least know what type of food you both like before your wedding day."

"Hell just froze over. I'm taking dating advice from my fourteen year old. What clothes and shoes?"

"Hmm, well nothing fancy. These khaki's, this button down, and those shoes. And remember, Daddy, the shoes are brown so the belt needs to be brown. This blazer. Make sure you shave, you already have stubble. And this cologne."

"Okay, what's she wearing?"

"I'll text her and tell her how you're dressing and she can surprise you. Now what's the plan for the ring? Getting down on one knee? Or just handing it to her? Probably should at least handle it like a normal proposal."

"Hannah, I love you and I appreciate the help but I will take care of that detail. Homework?"

"Just remember you'll have to tell the story to you and Polly's kids, the ones you have together, so make it a good one!"

"Homework, young lady." Mike caught her and kissed her on the cheek before she went back to her bedroom. He was headed to the bathroom to shower.

"Shave, Daddy! Or she will break off the engagement before you even give her the ring. Love you too!"

Mike just shook his head at her and laughed. He thought about not shaving or using the cologne that Hannah suggested just to be ornery. The clothes she picked out were the same ones he would have picked out so he couldn't even use that to pick on Hannah.

 **Polly's House**

"Mags, I haven't been on a real date in quite a while. That one guy didn't count. "Polly had clothes strewn all over her bedroom and she still had no idea what to wear. No idea whatsoever what they were doing either. She heard Grace and Ryan come in and talk to the boys and so she decided to recruit Grace. She'd been on dates recently. She decided to disconnect with her sister since all she was getting from her was jokes.

"Maggie, Grace and Ryan just came in. Maybe Grace will help me and not joke."

"Good luck with that! Love you, sis."

"Love you too." Polly disconnected and hollered for Grace. Gabby was taking a late nap and the boys were watching a movie.

"Let me guess, you need help picking out clothes?"

"I have no idea what we're doing so yeah."

"Well Hannah tried texting you and you didn't answer. Dad is taking you to that Italian place you like and then possibly a walk. He's wearing khakis, a button down and blazer, so nothing fancy."

"Okay, that's easy. I think."

"Are you going for sexy or…"

"I'm a pastor so no. Besides I don't own anything like that."

"What about this dress with leggings, those boots and that red leather jacket. Oh, this scarf."

"It's not too low cut? I usually wear a cami under it."

"Don't think Dad will mind if you do or don't but if it makes you feel better than wear that brown cami under it."

"What about makeup and my hair?"

"He's not gonna care. He's already seen you with no makeup. He'll marry you anyways."

"Am I overthinking this?"

"YES! And so is he."

"He is?"

"Yeah. It's silly. You guys know everything about the other. Just not favorite foods, pet peeves, what music and movies the other likes."

"Anything you can fill me in on?"

"He likes country music but he'll never admit it, HATES disorganization, I have no idea what his favorite movies are because as soon as one is turned on he falls asleep, he has a sweet tooth and hates broccoli."

"Okay. That's a start. So basically if I turn the radio to country he'll be okay, I'm organized, and I don't have the attention span for a movie. And broccoli is gross."

"Sounds pretty compatible to me."

"What's his middle name?"

"Uh, why?"

"Just asking."

"Okay, this conversation is weird now. When my nana would get mad at him she would yell, MICHAEL SEAN, at him."

"Okay, thanks."

"Yeah you're welcome. Hannah just texted, they're leaving our house. You have ten minutes."

"Grace! I haven't done my make up or hair and I need to get dressed. Have her stall him." Polly ran into the bathroom with the clothes, leaving Grace sitting on the bed, shaking her head and laughing. She quickly sent Hannah the text.

 _"Polly's freaking out. She needs to buy some time. Have him go get her flowers. Pink roses are her favorite."_

 _"Oh, this is absolutely hilarious. He cut himself shaving. Can't understand why we won't let him have a beard."_

 _"Tell him if he grows a beard, I'm disowning him and Polly will break off the engagement. That'll motivate him."_

 _"I told him, he went white."_

 _"Good. The flowers will give her another ten minutes."_

 _"The park that I gave him the address to has carriage rides, twinkly lights, the whole bit. Surely he can't screw up the proposal?"_

 _"Well, it is our dad. He's like a bull in a china cabinet."_

 _"True, we're at the store now."_

 _"K, I'll rush her along."_

Grace made her way through the heap of clothes on the floor to look at the perfumes on the dresser. Of course, Polly had the perfume, "Happy," which Grace immediately shoved to the side. It may have been her mom's scent but it was one of the things that had stayed in her mind since the rape. That smell. She wanted to throw it away but stopped herself. She didn't think her dad would handle smelling it either. She picked out a different perfume, and carried it the bathroom, knocking on the door.

"Come in."

"Polly, Dad will be here in a couple minutes. What are you doing with your hair?"

"Up or down? What about lipstick? I have this red one or a paler shade of pink that I wear more often."

"Leave your hair down like this and use the pink lipstick. Looks better with your complexion. Here's some perfume."

"Oh, I generally wear "Happy" on special occasions."

"Okay. I hate to tell you this but it was my mom's go to perfume. He could handle smelling it if it was just that but it's not. Sarah Gibson was wearing it the night I was raped. It was how they put some of the puzzle pieces together. He smelled her wearing it, and it kind of tainted those memories of my mom. He got her a bottle of it for every anniversary, birthday, Christmas. He can't handle it now. And honestly I wanted to pitch it when I saw it on your dresser."

"Throw it in the garbage. I didn't realize, sorry. I would never hurt either of you like that."

"I know. We can find you a different perfume that you can wear for special occasions but…"

"Grace, I still smell wet grass and think about the night I was raped. And motor oil because the guy that attacked me had it on his hands. No matter how well you do, there are somethings that just take you back. You and your dad should be able to associate that perfume with your mom and it bring happy memories back, not ones of your rape. To me a bottle of perfume is a very small price to pay, so you don't have to relive something. Either I can throw it away or you can."

"It seems wasteful."

"Knowing what I know now, I would never be able to wear it anyway."

"Okay." Grace walked back in the bedroom, grabbed the perfume and tossed it in the bedroom garbage. It was a minor thing but Grace couldn't handle the smell and didn't figure her dad would either. It had always reminded her of her mom before but now it just reminded her of Sarah Gibson.

"So, I enrolled in college today. Night classes anyway."

"Oh, Gracie, that's awesome. When do you start?  
"I'll start with some summer classes, so I have a few weeks. Not sure rather to even tell Dad and Ryan. I may flunk out."

"What made you suddenly enroll?"

"Tamara made a remark that I was just a high school dropout. Made me mad. But she's right, only I never made it to high school. I'm an eighth grade dropout, which is a lot worse."

"You may have dropped out, but you dropped out for a good reason, and when the time was right you got your GED. You were raising your brother and sister, providing them a home."

"I still dropped out though. I will probably fail. I just don't want Ryan and especially Daddy to be disappointed."

"Sweetie, your dad will not be disappointed in you. And he will help you. Ryan and I will both help too."

"Maybe, we'll see. It will never take away from the fact that I am a high-no middle school dropout. I'm stupid…"

"NO! Sweetie, you're not. You are brilliant. You did things that kids your age normally can't do. Did your dad just pull in? I don't think my hair is right?"

"It's fine. And yes, that's the Explorer. I'm going to check on Gabby."

Polly nodded, fluffed her hair again, and sprayed some perfume. She felt badly for Grace. She hoped that in taking college classes it would help her confidence. Polly made her way out to the living room as Mike was walking in. He looked great. She looked down and realized she looked like a nineteen year old, not like she was in her thirties with two kids.

"Aunt Polly, you look hot."

"Ryan, did you get hit in the head too? It must have affected your eyesight."

"No, he's right except I think the word beautiful is better."

"Geez, Dad, I think I just threw up in my mouth a little." Grace had made her way in with a still groggy Gabby who Hannah immediately made tracks for.

"Okay, Dad, Polly. Do I need to give you guys a curfew? And can you stop looking at each other all googly eyed? It's just weird to witness."

"Cute, Grace. We'll both have our cellphones; don't hesitate to call us…"

"We got this, Daddy. Go. Polly, you too."

"Okay, Grace, dinner is in the oven. There are some mashed sweet potatoes in the fridge for Gabby. She takes a bottle before bed usually. She likes to be rocked to sleep and likes the reading lamp left on in her room…"

"Aunt Polly, we got this. If we get into trouble we'll call Mom. But we'll be fine. Go, have fun. Or do whatever it is that old people do on dates."

"HEY!" Both Mike and Polly hollered at Ryan at the same time. Hannah and Grace were both literally pushing them out the door. They said their goodbyes to the boys and both kissed Hannah, Grace and Gabby goodbye. As there were walking down the front steps, they could hear Ryan, Hannah and Grace laughing hysterically.


	43. Chapter 43

**Five Years Later**

Chapter 43

The dinner was delicious and the conversation was even better. They somehow managed to not talk about their kids at all. But they did discuss favorite foods, movies, music, pet peeves, absolutely everything. When they finally got to the park, Polly made a remark when she saw the signs for the carriage rides, that she had never been on one but had always wanted to. Mike immediately caught one of the drivers and helped Polly up. It had turned cool and her leather jacket wasn't heavy enough so he threw his suit jacket over her and put an arm around her. There were flowers blooming, lights in trees and even fountains. It was extremely romantic and Polly was thrilled.

"Remind me to give Hannah a bonus on her allowance."

"Did she suggest this?"

"Not completely. She mentioned a walk, the flowers and twinkly lights. Not the carriage ride or fountains."

"Well she did good. I love this."

"I'm glad. I am not very romantic but I am enjoying it too mostly because of my company."

"Yeah, that's why I'm enjoying it too. That and I'm figuring out why Hannah thinks you're a good pillow."

"Uh-oh, don't go to sleep."

"I won't. What's in this jacket pocket?"  
"Why don't you take it out and see? It's for you."

"Little square box?"

"Well, you can keep the box if you want, but I think you'll like what's inside better."

"You have me curious now."

"Hannah suggested I get down on one knee and all that but…"

"You've already asked me to marry you and I've said yes, getting down on one knee would only stain your pant leg."

"I still figured you deserved an engagement ring. A friend told me I needed to buy you a big rock since you have to put up with me for the rest of our lives. But then your sister told me not to buy a normal diamond so I hope you like what I got. And bear in mind, my fourteen year old had a lot of input so no promises. Will you put up with me for the rest of our lives?" Mike had pulled the box out of the pocket and opened it, showing the ring. Polly inhaled deeply and then whistled, pulling Mike to her and kissing him, sweetly and gently.

"I think I like this proposal better than getting down on one knee. Yes, I'll marry you. And Hannah did good."

"Let's just hope it fits." Mike slid the ring onto her left ring finger and it fit perfectly. They were kissing again when the carriage come to an abrupt stop.

"Sorry, folks, there is a family of swans crossing the path."

Mike and Polly both started laughing when the noticed the male, female and huge family of cygnets crossed the path. They were beautiful and taking their sweet time.

"The swans mate for life. I've heard of stories that when the mate dies, the one left behind will grieve themselves to death. Kind of morbid." The driver was friendly.

"It's sweet. I think it's a sign from God."

"Probably. I'm just trying to figure out how many babies or whatever they're called." Mike was losing count.

"They're cygnets and apparently they have several. I've heard of them adopting orphaned cygnets too."

"Polly, don't get any ideas!"

"I was about to say the same thing to you."

"Do you all have any kids? The driver was waiting patiently for the herd of swans to pass.

"Altogether six. My three, her two and I lost a son."

"That's a house full."

"My oldest has her own apartment."

"What are their ages?"

"Nineteen, fourteen, two six year olds and a six month old."

"You'll be busy for many years. Alright, swans have crossed, we'll be crossing the bridge and then the ride will be done. There's a stand selling coffee, hot cocoa and hot pretzels at the end. It's been a pleasure having you folks."

"Thanks. It's been a good ride."

"Have a great night."

After getting out of the carriage, they both decided to get some hot drinks and to share a pretzel before heading home. They sit on a park bench sharing the pretzel and looking over the water.

"You think we should get headed home? We've not had any calls from the kids."

"Short of a copious amount of blood, those kids were not going to call us. It does worry me though. Grace and Hannah both still wear down easy and Ryan is on the mend too. Two six year olds and a six month old may be a bit much."

"Well, as much as Hannah loves Gabby, she'll manage her. Leaves Grace and Ryan managing the boys and Gabby."

"Yep, surely they're okay. What do you think of the ring? I did go ahead and get a wedding band to go along with."

"I love it. It's perfect. I need to get you a wedding band too. What size? Your hands are huge." Polly had her hand up against Mike's and his dwarfed her's.

"My wedding band from Christine was a twelve. And please, nothing fancy. A simple silver or gold band is perfect."

"Did you give it to Matty?"

"I put it in Christine's jewelry box . I suppose I need to move my medals and the wedding band into a box of some sort."

"How many medals?"

"Too many."

"You should display them. Ryan said something about a Congressional Medal of Honor?"

"Three of them. A Silver Star, Purple Heart, a couple others. I can't display them."

"I think you're being modest. Can I have another bite of the pretzel?" Mike started to just hand it to her but ended up holding it as she bit into it. He really wanted to get off the subject. It was uncomfortable for him. To keep her from saying anything else, he kissed her again. It was sweet and delicious at the same time. Two weeks was going to take forever.

"You're putting me off?"

"I have trouble displaying them. The biggest majority of them were awarded after the Red Flu. It doesn't seem fair to be awarded for and to be proud of them, since my kids were suffering so much. So they stay in a drawer. I'm not proud of them."

"Mike, I understand what you're saying and I will respect it because I love you. But you saved potentially millions of lives. It came at a huge personal cost though?"

"I love you too. And it wasn't just me it costed, my kids payed dearly. I can't have the medals out considering what it's cost them. Can we change the subject?"

"Sure. If I ask for another bite of the pretzel, will I get another kiss?"

"How about I kiss you rather you ask or not…for the pretzel, that is."

"Glad you clarified."

'I'm glad we didn't set the date out real far. Two weeks is going to take forever."

"And I thought I was the only one looking forward to the wedding night?"  
"You have no idea. I am still nervous about hurting or scaring you though."

"Just don't overthink it. I am nervous about something in regards to it though."

"What?"

"Actually a couple things, I'm not exactly petite and I've had trouble taking the weight off since I had Gabby. My body is pretty well wrecked and you may not like…"

"I won't compare you to Christine but I obviously didn't mind the changes her body went through during her pregnancies. I know that it's hard to make your body go back after having a baby. As far as not being petite, it doesn't bother me. Not to give too much information, but Christine was small. I remember worrying at first that I would crush her."

"How'd you get past that?"

"Not sure I ever really did. Seriously, I love you, your body…at least what I've seen and I'm sure I will love the rest. Your heart is what made me fall in love with you and I don't think stretch marks will change my mind. What's the other things?"

"Do I need to try and get a doctor's appointment so I can go on birth control? I'm not on them now; I never expected to find anyone after Paul. I know we've discussed kids but not when?"

"The idea of having a baby with you is thrilling even though it scares me. I'm not opposed to not taking any preventative steps and just seeing what happens."

"So no birth control? No condoms?"

"No birth control. I may pack condoms just in case but they may not get used."

"They as in plural?"

"A box. I doubt I'll hold out that well though. The conversation is getting awkward."

"What about finances? Children's Pastor doesn't exactly pay well. Paul's burial was taken care of and there is money but I put it in an account for the kids."

"The farm is paid for, I need to get a new truck but I have an insurance check for that. Aside from monthly bills, I don't have any. Navy pension is healthy. Quite a bit in savings. As far as the money for the kids, I don't have an issue with it. We do probably need to look into getting a bigger vehicle though."

"Yeah, I've been thinking about trading my car off but hated the idea of a payment."

"Well, you won't need to worry about the financial burden of a payment, how's that?"

"I have a feeling, I'm not going to have a lot of worries. I love you."

"I love you, too. Ready to head home?"

"Yep, let's go." Polly stood up and threw their trash in the can, and then pulled Mike into another hug and kiss. It had been an amazing date and something that she wanted to happen again. They walked back to the Explorer, hand in hand and he held the door open for her, kissing her again before shutting the door.

It was after eleven when they got back to her house and when they walked in the front door, they instantly smiled at the scene. Hannah was in the recliner, sound asleep with Gabby on her chest, Grace was on one end of the couch, holding Matty and both were sound asleep; Ryan was on the other side, holding Max. Polly would have preferred Max and Gabby to be sleeping in their beds but it was just too sweet.

"I'll carry Max to his bed if you want to get Gabby?"

"Yep."

"Ryan, easy. I'm just getting Max. Go on back to sleep."

"I think he's planning on staying here with me."

"Okay, I've got Max. He's in his pj's. Do you know if his bed is ready, Polly?

"Nope, but I'll turn it down before I take Gabby."

Polly led the way into Max's room and quickly turned the bed down. Mike eased Max down onto the bed. He woke up just a bit and clung to Mike. He finally bent down and kissed Max on the forehead, tucked the blankets around him and stood up.

"I love watching you with them. Makes me love you just a bit more."

"I love watching you with our kids. Want me to get Gabby too?"

"Sure, I'll get the other three woke up while you do."

Hannah woke up as soon as Mike took Gabby out of her arms and was immediately in pain but Polly bent down to help while Mike carried the still sleeping Gabby to her crib. Grace was also stirring. Matty was completely out for the count. Somehow Grace scooted out from under him and went to the bathroom. The older kids were completely worn out. Ryan had fallen right back to sleep and Hannah and Grace were ready to go home.

By the time Mike got back to the living room, Hannah was sitting up but was still hurting pretty bad. She was ready to go home and go to sleep in her bed. She had overdone it, and Grace wasn't too far behind her. Mike eased Matty off the couch and headed him back to the Explorer with Grace following him. He would just come back for Hannah.

"Polly, did you guys have a good time? My dad didn't completely destroy the proposal?"

"Nope, he did good. We had a great time, thanks for watching the kids."

"And the ring?"

"It's perfect. Is your stomach bothering you?"  
"A little but I'm okay. I had a really good day. Daddy told Jeremy he would bring me back next week. I didn't figure he would want time with just me so soon."

"He loves you so yeah, he wants time with you. He thinks he doesn't have a bond with you and that is something he desperately wants."

"I guess."

"Sweetie, I know. He loves you so, so much. Bonding with your brother and sister is easy for him, but not so easy with you. I do want you to think about finding something besides the veteran's home to do with him. Something fun."

"There's this place that has rock climbing and all kinds of fun stuff. I want to do that, and I think Daddy would like it but neither of us can. His shoulder is still hurting him."

"Suggest it. It does sound like something he would like."

"Rock climbing, zip lines, an obstacle course. All kinds of stuff."

"Sounds fun. Not my cup of tea, but something I can see your dad liking."

"I hope so! I do want to do something more fun than the veteran's home but I didn't want to ask for too much. Besides, I can't do that kind of stuff yet. Neither can he."

"But maybe soon? Your stomach getting better?"

"Yeah, I think I can stand up now."

Polly nodded at her and Mike walked back in, she could see the concern on his face as he helped Hannah out of the chair, and she immediately hugged him when she got stood up. Mike had fooled himself into thinking he didn't have a good bond with Hannah. Polly thought that they had a very precious bond, he just didn't see it. He finally pulled away from her but kept an arm around her.

"Polly, will you be okay? I need to get the kids home."  
"Yep, all good here. Night, love you both."

"Love you too. Hannah, let's get you home and in bed."

"I love you, Polly."

Mike and Polly kissed and Hannah hugged Polly. Ryan was sound asleep, so Mike headed them out the door. Hannah needed help on the porch steps. Mike hated seeing her in so much pain. It made him worry about the next day, because it would be even fuller. Matty and Max's ballgame, the Special Olympics event, and then dress shopping with Polly.

"Okay, Hannah, I need you to promise me, when we get home, you'll take a pain pill and try and sleep in. The game isn't until ten, your event is at two and then you have a full evening and night. I'm worried you'll overdo it."

"I promise, Daddy. I love you."

"I love you too, Sweetie. Let's get you in the Explorer and home."

It was a quiet ride home because all three kids were passed out. Mike ended up having to carry Matty in and just laid him on Mike's bed fully clothed. The girls both went to bed as soon as they got home and Mike locked up and went to bed too. Matty immediately sensed Mike and curled around him. It had been an exhausting but great day.


	44. Chapter 44

**Five Years Later**

Chapter 44

Hannah was in considerable pain the next day, but faked being okay. She knew that if her dad suspected anything, he'd keep her home and she had committed to Josh and the others. She had listened to the doctor and knew the pain was not unexpected. She was experiencing none of the other symptoms that the doctor had mentioned as complications. She had simply overdone it. She knew her dad had promised Max and Matty a boy's night and Polly was looking forward to having her and Grace over. She didn't want to let them down.

Throughout the ballgame, she stuck close to Maggie and stayed sitting the entire time. She and her dad had to be at the park for the Special Olympics event at one thirty. Ballgame was done at eleven, she slept in the car and then on the couch until the event. Grace was going to stay with Matty while Mike and Hannah were out. She changed into the t-shirt, wind pants and sneakers and she and her dad headed out. She napped again on the way there and pretended to have a second wind.

Mike knew that Hannah was putting an act on. He was worried sick about her and had already texted Polly that he might have to sideline Hannah. She told him she could put the dress shopping off if necessary. It would disappoint the boys but he couldn't jeopardize Hannah's health. The Special Olympics event was a lot more fun than he thought it would be. Several of Hannah's "friends" had done very well in their team and individual events. She had stood up at the appropriate times, but stayed sitting most of the time. She raised her arms to cheer at one point and immediately lowered them, with an odd look on her face. They got through the awards ceremony and she congratulated Josh and the other kids. As soon as he could pull her away, he did. She didn't object either, which really concerned him.

"On a scale of one to ten, what's the pain like?"

"Ah…one."

"Yeah, maybe times ten. We're going home."

"Daddy, no. I'll be fine. I promised Josh we would meet them at Maggie's for ice cream. I'm just hurting. None of the other symptoms that the doctor mentioned, I promise."

"Alright, I'm going against my better judgement on this, for the moment. I can and probably will change my mind though so just be prepared."

"Yes, sir."

Mike hated it when the kids called him "sir," but he knew Hannah was just trying to appease him. They got to the restaurant and Hannah was visiting with Josh and the others, feeding one of the kids and so Mike caught Maggie and headed back into the kitchen with her.

"Okay, so Hannah is in considerable pain. I don't suppose you have some Tylenol? I don't want to give her a blood thinner in case there's a bleed. She says she's just hurting but…"

"I keep a bottle in my office. Let me go get it." Mike waited in the kitchen while Maggie went to her office and handed him two of the pills. They probably wouldn't touch the pain she was in, but it would give Mike a bit of peace of mind. He touched her arm and handed her the pills and his glass of water.

"I'm doing better, Daddy, I promise."

"Okay, but take them anyway. It's just Tylenol. And you have fifteen minutes."

"Okay. "

The fact that she still wasn't arguing also worried Mike a bit but she took the Tylenol and drank a huge gulp of water. He lightly touched her forehead, no fever thankfully. He grabbed her wrist; her pulse was strong and steady. Respirations were normal, coloring was good. He knew one thing for absolutely certain. She would be spending the next day at home.

As Mike requested, Hannah said her goodbyes when he asked her too. She promised Maggie that she would see her later and gave her a big hug. As worried as Mike was, he was having trouble taking the dress shopping away from her. She managed to stay awake on the ride home and seemed more with it, or at least she was faking that she was more with it. He decided to text Polly and let her know that dress shopping was still on.

 _"She's perked up a bit. I don't trust it though. I know I don't have to ask, but please keep an eye on her. She's scaring me."_

 _"And you only think you don't have a bond? And of course, I will watch her. Maggie will be there too. She'll have a couple mother hens on top of her, course a worried dad is much better."_

 _"I'm trying not to smother her. I'm still on the fence about the slumber party and church tomorrow. It's not because I don't think you'll take care of her."_

 _"You just can't stand the thought of it being something serious and you won't be there?"_

 _"Yep, pretty much."_

 _"She'll be fine. I will make sure she sleeps. What'd you think of the Special Olympics event?"_

 _"It was great. I just wish she would tell me something that she wants to do that is fun and doesn't involve a lot of other people. I don't feel like I'm getting anywhere with her."_

 _"You are. She was telling me about this place that has zip lining, rock climbing, and an obstacle course, all that jazz. She wants to go, but knows your shoulder is still bothering you and she knows she isn't a 100%. She seemed really excited about it; she thinks you'd like it._

 _"It does sound fun. I'd like that. But it will be a couple weeks before either of us can."_

 _"What time do you want me to pick up the girls and drop off Max and Gabby?"_

 _"Anytime you want. What's your girl's night plans?"_

 _"Chic flicks, gallons of ice cream, nail polish, all the good stuff. What about your boy's night?"_

 _"I have recordings of the Chicago Cubs ballgames, the good ones anyways, hamburgers, hot dogs, root beer, video games, candy, popcorn. I think Alec and Ryan are coming over too."_

 _"Oh, poor Gabby!"_

 _"I kind of feel sorry for her too. But it's easier for her to me to keep her then trying to shop with her. So are you shopping for the wedding night too?"_

 _"With your nineteen and fourteen year olds? I'm pretty sure they would rather I didn't."_

 _"Oh yeah, that might be awkward. Wasn't thinking, sorry."_

 _"Gabby's doctor's appointment is Tuesday. I'll shop than."_

 _"So with your six month old?"_

 _"Yeah, she won't tell you any secrets. Perfect plan."_

 _"She talks to me all the time, of course I can't understand anything she says."_

 _"Oh, I forgot to tell you, this morning when I was feeding her, she kept saying 'Dada' and she was looking around. I think she was trying to find you."_

 _"Oh I wish I had heard that!"_

 _"Maybe she'll say it to you?"_

 _"Hannah didn't call me 'daddy' until she was almost two. Course I wasn't around much either, she probably didn't recognize me."_

 _"I'm not asking you this to make you feel bad, but how much of the time have you been around Hannah since she was born? "_

 _"I deployed when she was three weeks old, was gone for just shy of a year. Deployed again six weeks later and was gone for eight months. When I come home Christine was pregnant with Lucas. That time I was home for almost eight months, gone a year. About that time she started preschool. Came home for a couple months, gone a year and a half, was home for her sixth birthday, left for six months, home for a year, short six month deployment, home for three months, and then the Arctic, she had just turned nine. And then was gone five almost six years."_

 _"She's fourteen now, you've been around her on a daily basis, what three, four years?"_

 _"Probably less. It's shameful."_

 _"You were serving your country."_

 _"At the cost of my relationship with my daughter?"_

 _"It explains why you don't feel you have a bond with her. You were gone through her formative years. I would guess when you were home; you distanced yourself to psychologically prepare yourself for deployment?"_

 _"Name of the game. When I was home, I wasn't 'home.' And Hannah got the brunt of it. There was just no connection. Not like I had with Grace and Lucas or even Matty now."_

 _"I think you have a connection with Hannah. If there was no bond, no connection, you wouldn't be so worried now?"_

 _"Despite not feeling I have a bond, she's still my kid and I do still love her. I hate seeing her hurt and in pain."_

 _"You are an amazing dad. Stop focusing on the fact that you don't feel a bond with her, it's there. In fact, I think it's every bit as strong as the one you have with Grace."_

 _"Thanks. She seems like she is doing pretty good right now."_

 _"Getting the kids ready to go now. Gabby keeps asking for 'Dada.'"_

 _"Tell her 'Dada' is ready to see her."_

 _"She smiled real big. Be there in a couple minutes. Love you."_

 _"Be safe, love you too."_

Hannah was playing a game with Matty. She had decided not to change clothes simply because the wind pants were comfortable on her stomach. She knew Polly wouldn't care. Grace looked cute in her outfit. Hannah knew her dad was watching her very closely and had probably already told Polly to watch her. She was feeling a bit better, she was just so tired.

Maggie, Alec and Ryan showed up and visited until Polly and her kids got there. Alec had brought the hamburgers and hot dogs and a deck of cards. Mike had the root beer, popcorn and the candy. He would be lucky if either of the boys slept. Polly came in and Max immediately gave him a hug and then went to play with Matty. Alec was trying to get Gabby to say his name but was not having any luck. As soon as she saw Mike though, she started saying "Dada" and smiling. Hannah was also trying to get her to say her name but it was too hard. Mike had made a plan to try and get her to say "sissy." Given that she was only six months old, her vocabulary would be pretty limited.

"Alright girls, we need to get going. Mike, her sleeper is inside and her bath stuff. You still have the portable crib, so she may be asleep when we get back. We're taking Maggie's car so here are my keys if you need to go somewhere, you'll have the car seat. Ryan and Alec drove separately.

"If it's real late, I can just keep her overnight too."

Mike kissed Polly and hugged both girls. He was still worried sick about Hannah but she did seem to be doing better. He knew that Maggie and Polly would be watching her closely. He had given Polly his card the night before to buy her dress and to get the girls both something. He knew she couldn't afford much on her own and he wanted her to have anything she wanted. He had also told her to take them all out to eat. Polly had made mention of sushi and both girls were really excited about that.

Mike, Alec and Ryan spent their evening playing go fish with the two boys and eating entirely too much junk food. Gabby had decided she kind of liked Ryan and would let him hold her. He even got a few smiles out of her. She still wouldn't go to Alec and every time he reached for her, she would start crying.

"Seriously, Gabby, I'm your uncle. I am one of the first people that held you. What have I got to do to make you like me?"

"Dad, I just don't think she likes the way you look."

"That's crazy. I did just fine when you were a baby. And your brother and sister loved me too, Max loved me. But this one?"

"Maybe she's just being ornery, Alec. Here, Ryan, follow me." Mike sit Gabby on Alec's lap and he and Ryan headed out to the deck. They both stood where Gabby couldn't see them, but they could see inside. Gabby was still crying and looking at Alec like he was a monster.

"It is odd that she doesn't like Dad. He's always been good with kids."

"She'll grow out of it. I think it has something to do with her ears. Maybe his voice bothers her?"

"What's odd about his voice?"

"Nothing to me, but it may hurt her ears. Your aunt has an appointment at the doctor's with her. We'll see what happens. We'd better go back in. I think the boys are trying to make her stop crying now."

Mike and Ryan slowly made their way back and found Gabby laughing. She was still in Alec's lap but facing the boys. She had apparently forgotten that Alec was holding her and as soon as she saw Mike she started reaching for him. Alec could handle huge amounts of stress, massive investigations and numerous other things but his crying niece was his limit.

They spent the rest of the evening eating and watching ballgames. The two boys were intrigued by the Cubs which made Mike happy. Alec and Ryan had made several digs about them and had told the boys that since they were Missourians, they had to like the Cardinals or the Royals. All the games were reruns anyway but it was fun. Mike ended up giving Gabby her bath and putting her sleeper on. She was pretty drowsy and Alec was in the recliner so he passed her off to him to see if she would let him rock her to sleep. He could tell it had made Alec's night when she fell asleep in his arms. She hadn't even cried. What Mike didn't tell Alec was that he had dosed her with the sweet oil before handing her over. He had made some loud noises and she would turn her head towards the noise so he hoped her hearing wasn't affected by the frequent ear infections.

Ryan and Alec left about nine. The boys were wearing down and had already asked Mike to sleep in his bed. Alec had laid Gabby down in her portable crib and she was out for the count. He was kind of hoping that Polly would just leave her overnight so she didn't wake back up.

 _"Gabby is sound asleep. She even let Alec rock her to sleep. Made his day. How's the shopping going?"_

 _"All three dresses are bought. The girls are coordinating teal and dark blue. I guess those are our colors."_

 _"I hadn't given it any thought. How's Hannah? Grace too? She's still recovering too."_

 _"Both doing good. Our girl's night might be a bit relaxed. Getting in the car to head home."_

 _"Do you want me to keep Gabby and just bring her to church in the morning?"_

 _"I really hate to disturb her if she's sleeping that good. She hasn't slept well lately. Her poor ears."_

 _"Yeah. I gave her a dose of sweet oil before I gave her to Alec. I think that's why she let him rock her to sleep."_

 _"That seems to really help her. I think her teeth are getting her too. Makes me want to cry."_

 _"I know. The boys want to sleep in my bed. I still haven't gotten Matty adjusted to sleeping in his. When he asks, I just can't tell him no."_

 _"Max is having a tough time with it too. Maybe since they will be in a room together it will be better?"_

 _"Maybe. So I'm keeping Gabby? I have enough diapers, formula, and you have an extra outfit in her bag. Not sure it's church appropriate?"_

 _"Try and get there a bit early and I will change her. I'll just bring her clothes with me."_

 _"Okay, call me if you all need anything. I love you."_

 _"I love you too, and the girls said to tell you that they love you and good night."_

 _"Tell them that I love them too. Tell Hannah to try and sleep and let her know that she is coming home after church to take a nap."_

 _"She says 'Yes, sir.' What's with that?"_

 _"She does it to aggravate me. That is the one thing we both are good at doing, aggravating the other one."_

 _"Alright, well she assured me she would sleep tonight and that she would nap tomorrow afternoon. Night!"_

 _"Have a good night, love you again."_

 _"Love you too."_

The portable crib was already setup in his room and so he just had to get the boys to sleep. Matty was pretty drowsy and Max was sound asleep on the couch. Mike carried both boys in after changing them into pajamas. He set his alarm for six so to get the kids there plenty early. Matty curled himself around Mike and Max stayed close to Matty. Mike didn't want to be completely covered with both boys if Gabby woke up through the night. He finally drifted off to sleep completely exhausted. It had been a long day.


	45. Chapter 45

**Five Years Later**

Chapter 45

Getting out of the house with two six year olds and a fussy six month old was harder than Mike anticipated. The bright side was that Gabby wasn't pulling at her ears. Mike suspected that she was just missing her mommy and he would guess that Polly was missing her too. He was definitely missing Hannah and Grace. It made him dread Grace moving out and maybe not seeing her on a daily basis.

Polly and the girls met him at the door and Polly immediately gave Max and Matty a hug and took Gabby back to her house to change her clothes. The baby had brightened up when she saw her mommy. Mike hugged both his girls and got seated for the service. Hannah looked better but did seem tired. Grace was talking to the two boys and Maggie. Polly finally came in with Gabby and sit next to him.

The service was interesting and thought provoking. After Sunday School, Maggie kept Max and Gabby so Polly could give Mike, Grace, Hannah and Matty a ride home. They had decided to stay at their individual homes that afternoon and night just so Hannah could get the rest that she needed. She had wanted to go back to school the next day but had finally admitted to Mike that giving it another day probably wouldn't hurt. She and Matty passed out on the couch and Grace was in her room, painting. He was bored stiff. He finally walked into her room just to see what she was painting.

"Daddy, this one is for the living room. It's kind of a gift so you probably shouldn't be in here."

"I'm bored. Hannah and Matty are sleeping."

"I guess I'll stop painting then."

"Plus, I really wanted to spend some time with you. You'll be out of the house soon, probably by the end of the week. I'm gonna miss you." Mike had sit down on her bed and then laid back with his feet still on the floor.

"Daddy, I will be less than ten minutes away. You can see me whenever you want to."

"Yeah, but there will still be days I won't see you and I'm not gonna like that too much. So what are your plans for all your free time? Since you don't have kids to raise anymore and don't necessarily need to work two jobs."

"I enrolled in college classes. There's an art class on Saturday nights and then Ryan and I will be able to actually go out on actual dates, and I'll still work part time at Maggie's for extra cash."

"And we'll still do lunch a day or two a week and you'll come out for dinner at least once a week right? Wait, you signed up for college classes? When did that happen?"

"I signed up Friday. It's just summer courses. We'll see how I do before I sign up for the regular semester. I don't have high hopes so you shouldn't either."

"Why?"

"Daddy, I was just barely into eight grade when the pandemic hit. The schools closed down almost immediately. I have essentially a seventh grade education. I did well enough on my GED test, but I only know basic algebra. Hannah is further ahead than I will ever be. I will probably flunk out so don't place any bets on me."

"I'll help you, Polly will help. Hannah, Ryan, Maggie, Alec, Kirk, his wife? All people that will help. All people that love you. But the thing is, if you are already determined that you will fail, then yes, you will fail. No matter what any of us do. What made you decide to enroll?"

"Tamara made a remark that I'm just a high school dropout that will not amount to anything and the only reason I've gotten so far is because of being involved with Ryan. She's partly right, but I never got to high school."

"Let me ask you this, if you could back in time, and tell those doctor's that you were only fourteen. You would have been put into foster care, right along with Hannah and Matty. Good possibility you would have been separated. You would have possibly been able to lead a normal life but would have been separated from Hannah and Matty. Knowing what you know now, would you make the same decision?"

"Yes, but…"

"No buts. You did what you did to keep your family together and I thank God every day for that. I hate that you lost so much. As far as not amounting to much? You have done more in nineteen years than most people ever do, you've survived so much. Most of it, I wasn't even here for. You've already amounted to more than Tamara ever will hope to. I think she's instigating you."

"That's what Kirk said too. He heard her make the remark and filed a formal complaint on her. She messed up a call and it could have really caused problems."

"How so?"

"Domestic call, suspect had left. She didn't tell him and he passed him on the way there. Could have arrested him. Woman was pretty badly beaten and the guy got away."

"Sounds like he had grounds. As an ex-cop, if a dispatcher failed to tell me a detail like that, I would have been livid. It could cost that woman her life if he comes back. Do they have her in a shelter?"

"No. She doesn't have anywhere to go. Broken ribs, concussion, he threw her through a plate glass door. Neighbor called it in. Told Tamara that the guy got away, vehicle description, the whole bit. She just failed to pass it along. Alec was responding from the other direction and could have gone on scene with the victim to get her stabilized while Kirk made the arrest but she didn't tell him. Alec has grounds to fire her, and wants to, but doesn't feel he should until he makes the case."

"Makes sense. She is trying to get a reaction. When did she make that remark in correlation to the domestic call and Kirk filing his complaint?"

"Right after. Alec had me cover dispatch while he read the verbal reprimand to her. As she was coming into dispatch and I was leaving, she said that the only reason I was even mildly successful was because I was sleeping with Ryan and Alec was desperate to keep him close so he kept me in a job and that I was only a high school dropout that wouldn't amount to anything. Kirk just happened to overhear it. And by the way, I'm not sleeping with Ryan. Didn't want you to go 'all dad' on me."

"Yeah, not something I want to know anything about. As far as Alec keeping you in a job because he was desperate to keep Ryan close, I would say that yeah, he's probably desperate to keep him close because he loves him but he's also smart enough to know that Ryan made the choice to join the Navy and you wouldn't be able to stop him from deploying. You said yourself that he gave you the job before Ryan and you started dating?"

"Yeah. We were just friends. Close, but that's it."

"And you'd volunteered there before you turned eighteen?"

"Yeah, filing and cleaning."

"Well, I would say between that and waitressing at Maggie's, Alec saw that you were a hard worker and that you would be an asset to his department and offered you the job. Correct?"

"Yeah, me applying was a formality. He also knew I needed the health insurance on myself and Hannah and Matty. Maggie couldn't offer that."

"It sounds to me like Tamara is jealous. You've worked hard and suffered a lot. You deserve the chance to have a normal life. God knows, you're life has not been normal up to this point. You have the chance to go to college or police academy, whatever you choose. If you choose the academy, my guess will be that when you're done, Alec will be giving you a commission. I don't know why he doesn't want to give her a commission. But she is realizing that you will finally have the chance to succeed and have a huge network of people that love you and want it for you too. My best advice now is to avoid her. Let Alec handle her. She's going to make one of those remarks and it will backfire on her. I would say that Alec is building his investigation nicely and she is just adding fuel to the fire. I do want you to be careful. I will go 'all dad' on her if anything happens to you. I can promise you that. That is not something she wants to have happen. And I think Alec and Kirk both know that too. What days do you have to work around her?"

"Monday, Wednesday and Friday."

"Okay, Monday maybe a bit rough because I want to keep Hannah at home another day and Polly and I have premarital counseling at eleven, I also need to go shopping for a truck so you can have your Explorer back. I will try and randomly show up on those days with lunch. I'll text Alec and let him know what I'm doing. Since I was the one that arrested Sarah Gibson, she may try to say something to me; we'll just have to see. Is Kirk and Alec working those days if I don't make it in?"

"Alec is working and he is pretty well assigned Alec to me. If I leave the office, it's to be with you, Alec, Ryan or Kirk. I think Alec is going 'all dad' too."

"Good. I'm glad. I want this over for you. I know it's weighing on you. You need to be able to move on with your life and as much as I will hate to see you move out, I know you need it. I will definitely miss you being here." Grace finally sit down on the bed and then laid down like Mike had been lying, next to him.

"Daddy, are you going to try and instigate her to expedite the investigation?"

"I don't know. Maybe. I won't do anything without Alec's go ahead though."

"Okay. And by the way, you will be so busy, especially once you and Polly get married, that you will barely notice that I'm not here."

"Oh, I will notice, trust me. As far as you not feeling that you will get through your classes? If that is something that Tamara has planted in your head, I know you a lot better than she does, and I know you can succeed at whatever you set your mind too. I love you and I am proud of you."

"I love you too. I just don't want to disappoint you if I don't get through the classes."

"You couldn't disappoint me if you tried. I'm serious, Gracie, you have a lot of people that love you and will support you and help you. We all want you to succeed and will sit for hours and help you with that school work. I can handle math, science and geography. Polly is good at English and History. Between Alec, Kirk and I, we can get you through the criminology classes."

"You have this all planned out."

"Well, yeah. And I didn't even include Ryan, Maggie or Hannah. I bet you'll be just fine."

"But this is college, not high school."

"And I just so happen to have a college education. Polly too. You're mom made me apply myself through our college classes. I was too smitten with her but our dates consisted of studying. As far as the Naval Academy? I had to apply myself for that if I wanted to advance in my career."

"Somehow I can see Mom making you study while you were all googly eyed."

"I was young and in love. What can I say? If I wanted to date her, I had to study."

"Did she give you that ultimatum?"

"More than a few times. I can still hear her saying 'Michael Sean, if you don't study for this calculus test, we aren't going out Saturday night.' It worked too. Young love is intoxicating."

"Not something I need to know about Dad. This conversation has gone off the rails, across the creek, through the orphanage and hit the barn. I don't want any more information."

"Duly noted. Just know that I will help you when you need it. And I will miss having you here every night. I'd better go check on your brother and sister. They were all cuddled up together on the couch. Makes me think they might actually like one another."

"Oh, they do. Now, go. I want to work on the painting before the paint all dries and is hard to blend. Keep out."

"Alright, alright. I love you.  
"I love you too and thanks, Daddy."

Mike stood up, leaned over and kissed Grace's forehead and left her bedroom. It had been a good talk, and as badly as he wanted to keep Grace there, he would be expediting the investigation. She needed to go on with her life, regardless how he felt.

Hannah was awake but holding the still sleeping Matty. It was a very sweet scene and one that Mike knew he would have implanted in his memory forever. Hannah was still pretty drowsy and just smiled at him when he kissed them both on the forehead and covered them with a blanket. She went back to sleep just after and Mike looked at the car dealership website for both trucks and SUV's on his laptop. He and Polly both needed new vehicles. A month before he thought the house was too big, now he was trying to figure out how to add more bedrooms on. It was shocking how quickly things had progressed. And he loved it.


	46. Chapter 46

**Five Years Later**

Chapter 46

Truck and SUV shopping was interesting to say the best. Mike knew exactly what he wanted and the purchase was easy. Polly, on the other hand, didn't want to have a huge payment. She was still geared to being a single mom. She finally settled on a newer Chevy Tahoe. It had plenty of seats for the four kids that they would have with them all the time and any additions that were made. Mike's truck was an extended cab Ford. Large enough to also haul kids in.

Hannah had minded Gabby while they were at the car dealership and would also watch Gabby while Mike and Polly were at the counseling appointment. Once they were done, Mike would call in a to go order of lunch for Grace and himself. He had talked to Alec that morning. He agreed that they needed to expedite the investigation but was not sure how to. Mike hanging around the office might be the perfect answer.

Mike had not gone through the premarital counseling with Christine and so it was a bit of a surprise when Pastor John asked some of the questions he did. They went over everything. Finances, pet peeves, likes, dislikes, parenting choices, religion, everything. It was mind boggling. The question that shocked him, probably because of his history with Christine, was if he expected Polly to be submissive. Initially he thought that he meant intimately, but when Pastor John told him he meant in every aspect, career wise, finances, decision making, and numerous other things, it made him wonder. They would meet again Friday to go over more details regarding the wedding but Pastor John told Mike he needed to think about what he was struggling with. Polly and he headed back over to the house to check on the girls before Mike left for lunch.

"You were struggling a bit in there. Second thoughts?"

"No second thoughts in regards to marrying you. I still want that. The submission thing got me. Not so much the intimate part, but the other stuff. I think I'm realizing that's what I expected of Christine and maybe that's why we had some of our issues."

"I can tell you that I will want to be part of financial decisions, decisions regarding the kids, home, etc. Did Christine not help with that stuff? And how did that work when you were on deployment and not always within easy reach? Mike, I'm not judging you on this, but I do think you need think about it."

"It wasn't conscious on my part, and it may have been partly her. She made those decisions when I was gone and did fine. I never had any problems with any of the decisions she made. But when I was home? It was like she didn't want to make those decisions herself and so it just become habit that I would do it. After Hannah was born, she never went back to work and I think that played into it too. She lost part of her identity. I definitely didn't set out to control her or be the more dominant one in the relationship. It just happened, and I don't want it to happen again."

"Okay, I know you said that intimacy thing didn't get you so much. Let me ask you this, and it's deeply personal, when you and she had sex, who initiated it?"

"Oh, lord. Rarely her."

"But she enjoyed it? Active participant? Or just on the receiving end, so to speak."

"She seemed to enjoy it. And she would participate. She didn't just lay there. Not that you wanted to know that."

"Alright, off that subject because I can see that you're getting uncomfortable. When you and she went out, did she pick what you would do? Organize it? Or did you?"

"Most of the time, it was joint. We had this thing where we would go mini gulfing. We'd go out to dinner, which was a joint decision. We'd also shop for birthdays and Christmas if I was going to be gone. What we did was joint for the most part."

"Alright, was there times where you would organize the dates and what did you do?"

"If I was home on her birthday I would try and take her out. Sometimes we would do the mini gulfing, sometimes not. Nice dinner, always something that I knew that she liked. She liked ethnic food, which is not something I'm wild about. But I would always try and take her to one of those types of places."

"Okay. What about your birthday? Did she plan everything or did you?"

"That was always something she always tried to do with the kids. Breakfast in bed, usually a barbeque. I liked to spend my birthday with the family. Not so much as a date. That sounds bad."

"No, it doesn't. It's what you prefer. If she planned an outing for you, what did she plan?"

"Between me and her? Generally a ballgame of some sort. Not really her thing. I do like barbeque and so we would always go to one of those places. What is all this telling you?"

"That you're overthinking. It sounds like you had a normal relationship with give and take in every regard. As far as her not making decisions when you were home? I would say it was something on her end. Maybe she was just tired of making all of them and it was easier to let you make them when you were home. Plus it may have been her way of including you. This time around will be different because you won't be deploying and I will stay working. I also know that while you want to adopt Max and Gabby and I want you to, and I love your kids exactly like my own, there may always a bit of the 'my kids' and 'your kids' mentality. It won't mean that you will love my kids any less than your own, and I won't love your kids less than my own, but it will be difficult to get out of that mentality. Combining a family is not easy. We have been lucky so far because all the kids have been generally accepting of it, other than Hannah and I think you have gotten to the root of the issues with her. We both will have to concentrate on treating them all the same, you and I can't overcompensate because the kid may not be ours biologically. We'd better get inside so you can get to your lunch date. I love you."

"I love you too. And I do love Max and Gabby the same way I do my own kids."

"I know and I love yours. Let's go rescue Hannah."

Hannah had Gabby laying on her tummy on the living room floor, trying her best to crawl. It was hilarious to watch because Gabby was laying on her stomach with her arms and legs flailing around and her head up. She saw Mike and Polly come in and did try and get on her hands and knees to crawl to them. They both knelt down to coach her and she looked back at Hannah, with a "How do I get to them?" look. Hannah laughed at her and picked her up and carried her to them.

"Sweetie, she isn't going to learn if you just pick her up."

"I know, Daddy. But she looks so frustrated when she can't get where she wants to be."

"It doesn't bother me at all. I say, I'm just fine with my baby not crawling. I like her at this stage."

"Yep, and you'll love the next stage, and the one after that, and after that. Pretty soon she'll be a moody fourteen year old and you won't necessarily love that stage."

"Geez, Dad." Hannah handed Gabby to Polly and headed to the bathroom, slamming the door behind her. Polly had noticed the tears in Hannah's eyes when she handed Gabby over. Mike was oblivious.

"Smooth, Mike."

"What'd I say?"

"The fact that you don't see your misstep is a problem. You essentially just told her that you don't love the stage that she is in and that she's moody. Huge misstep. You just fell back about ten steps."

"Shhiiiiii-ooot, basically communicating that I don't love her, right?"

"Yeah, Mike. And I don't know how you'll fix it. Take Gabby for a minute and I will get her out of the bathroom. Think about what you will say."

Polly handed Gabby off and headed for the bathroom, fortunately Hannah hadn't locked the door and he could hear muffled voices and sobs. It made Mike's heart hurt. He hadn't meant it the way it sounded. Polly finally came out, alone.

"She said to go to your lunch with Grace. She needs to cool down a bit. Might take the afternoon to yourself too."

"Is that her or you?"

"Little of both. I'll be fine though. Her, not so much. Can you get Max when you get Matty?"

"Yeah, of course. Is she still in the bathroom?"

"No. She is napping in my room. You can look in on her, but waking her up is not a good idea. She doesn't want to say something to you that she'll regret, probably a lesson you need to learn."

"No argument here. I truly didn't mean it the way it sounded. I love her very much."

"I know that. And deep down she knows it. You have the advantage that she is so forgiving. But you need to be careful, because someday you might say something that she can't forgive. Then you'll lose her."

"Yeah I know."

Mike handed Gabby back over to Polly, and kissed her. Thankfully she was forgiving. He looked in on Hannah. He suspected that she was fake sleeping again, but pulled the blanket over the top of her and bent down and kissed her on the forehead. He felt horribly about the whole situation. He decided to chance waking her up, to say what he needed to. Seeing her swollen eyes, even though closed, hurt.

"I didn't mean it the way it sounded. I love you, more than you will ever know. I love this stage with you and you are not at all moody. I am sorry that I've hurt you again. Like before, you don't have to forgive me, and you have the right to be mad. Just know that I love you." He kissed her again and pulled the blanket up to her shoulders and then left.

Hannah had heard what her dad had said. She also knew that he meant it. It had hurt, what he had said. She knew that he was teasing when he said it. Her reaction to it could have been better. She had asked Polly to have him leave just so she could have some space. She wasn't really tired, the nap was just a good excuse. After she heard the front door close and his truck start, she got up and went back to the bathroom to wash her face. She folded the blanket back up and walked back into the kitchen.

"Couldn't sleep?"

"Wasn't really trying."

"Still upset with your dad? I told him not to wake you up."

"He thought I was sleeping."

"And…?"

"He said that he loved me, and he hadn't meant it the way it sounded. That I had a right to not forgive him and to be mad. That I wasn't moody."

"Hannah, he does love you, a lot. He still feels horribly about not feeling he has a bond with you or ever telling you that he loved you before the pandemic. You and he tease a lot, and I will agree he went overboard today. It's the one thing he feels he can do with you."

"So, it's my fault?"

"Nope, it's definitely his. Tease back."

"I guess I'm confused."

"Give as good as you get. After a few unintentional digs, your dad will think about what he says before it falls out of his mouth."

"I don't want to hurt him."

"And he doesn't want to hurt you. I told him to steer clear this afternoon. He's gonna pick the boys up. You need to think about what you'll say to him because he is under the assumption you were sleeping and will want to talk."

"I have no idea what I want to say."

"It's okay to not be okay. He hurt you deeply. But you also have to know he loves you very much and never meant to hurt you. That's where the forgiveness comes in. It would be easy to not forgive him. To stay mad. Forgiving him shows maturity on your part. Shows that you aren't the typical 'moody fourteen year old.' You're good at it."

"I forgave him soon as he came in the bedroom and said that stuff. It just still hurts. I think he is still upset with me because of being so horrible when he first got here and how I acted beforehand."

"Maybe he is a bit. But he understands it. As far as it hurting, you should let him know that it hurt, but you've forgiven him. Can you take Gabby while I fix us something to eat?"

"Sure. Polly, did it make you mad at him or me?"

"No, not at all. I just wanted to help you both. Here's Gabby."

Hannah took Gabby and started making funny faces at her. The baby's smiles and laughter was cathartic to her. Polly fixed soup and sandwiches and they went over wedding plans. Maggie was coming over later to hem her dress and take it in. She had choose the teal dress because of her coloring being darker. Grace was lighter and had gone with the dark blue. Gabby would wear a cream colored dress with purple accents. Polly's was also cream colored. She had initially settled on one that went to her knees but Maggie got her mind changed to an ankle length dress. It was absolutely beautiful and very practical.

Polly had been watching Hannah and had seen that her happy, bubbly mood had returned. She was smiling and laughing at Gabby and seemed pretty happy. She knew Mike was probably worried sick about her and so she decided to text him.

 _"She's okay. Just pretty blue. She's forgiving. Just ease up on the teasing a bit."_

 _"I hate that I hurt her like that. I truly didn't mean to. I think she was pretending that she was asleep."_

 _"She was, and she heard every word you said. It helped. She thinks you are still hurt because of how she treated you when you first got here."_

 _"And that I'm lashing out at her because of it? Masking it with teasing?"_

 _"That's my take."_

 _"I'm not mad at her. But I will clarify it with her. I can see where she would think that."_

 _"Pick up the boys and come back. Maggie will be here. She has to alter Hannah's dress. She's too scrawny. She looks so pretty in it."_

 _"I bet she does. Finishing up lunch with Grace. Need to run to the store and then I'll pick the boys up. Will be back a bit before three."_

 _"A piece of advice? Get her some flowers. Might help. She likes gerber daisies."_

 _"I was going to get her a necklace. A locket appropriate?"_

 _"Yep, that would be good. Card too."_

 _"Yep. I love you. Thanks for helping today."_

 _"I love you too. And you're welcome."_

Polly and Hannah spent the rest of the afternoon playing with Gabby and visiting. Maggie showed up about two thirty and Hannah immediately changed into her dress so Maggie could pin it where it needed to be taken in. Gabby had fallen asleep in Polly's arms. Hannah was standing on a chair when her dad and the boys came in. Maggie had moved to her bag and Max had ran up and hit the chair accidently, causing it to tip.

Mike got across the room rapidly and literally caught Hannah in his arms. She could have been seriously injured, there was any number of things that she could have hit her head on. His shoulder instantly started hurting and he had to sit her back on her own feet. He was in agony.

"Sorry, Hannah, I didn't mean to hit your chair. Did it hurt you?" Max looked really worried but Hannah had noticed the look of intense pain on Mike's face. She told Max that she was fine and the boys went to his room to play. Her dad had righted her and made tracks for the kitchen, asking Polly for an ice bag. For him to admit he was hurting, was not a good sign. It made her feel horrible. Maggie had gone and got Gabby who had started crying and Polly had gone to her bathroom to get some muscle rub.

"Daddy, did I hurt your arm?"

"No, it's fine. I couldn't let you fall. You would have hit your head."

"But you're hurt?"

"I'm fine, Sweetie. Just popped it. I'm getting old. Don't recover as quick."

"I'm sorry…"

"You don't have anything to be sorry for. You look beautiful. Those flowers and that bag is for you. Kind of an apology for what I said earlier. I love you."

"I love you too. I know you were just teasing, I could have reacted better."

"Doesn't make what I said right."

"We'll talk later." Polly had come in with the muscle rub and instructed Mike to take his shirt off gently. Hannah could tell that it was really hurting him and she felt terrible. She found an over the counter pain killer in the cupboard and got a glass of water for him. Polly was massaging the muscle rub into Mike's shoulder and he took the medicine and water with no argument. Hannah gave him a kiss on the cheek. All the hurt she had felt earlier was all gone, she was just worried now.

"Hannah, look in the bag. I want to know what you think of it."

"You didn't have to get me anything, the flowers are really pretty. Thank you." Hannah could tell it was important to her dad and so she opened the bag and took out the box, she would read the card later. It was a beautiful heart shaped locket. The inside had an inscription that said, _"Never forget, I love you."_ It was absolutely beautiful. Polly had finished massaging her dad's shoulder and he seemed to be loosening up a bit. After washing her hands, she put the locket on for Hannah and then she gave her dad a big hug. He whispered in her ear, "Read the card." She just nodded at him.


	47. Chapter 47

**Five Years Later**

Chapter 47

Hannah could tell her dad was in pain and seemed nervous around her. They stayed at Polly's while Maggie was pinning her dress in the appropriate places. Mike was quiet. It made Hannah worry that he was mad at her for him getting hurt. She hadn't meant to fall. He'd returned her hug and seemed sincere. The flowers and locket was heartfelt and she loved them, and she couldn't wait to read the card. They finally left just before dinner after giving hugs and kisses to Polly and the kids. Grace was spending time with Ryan and wouldn't be home until later that evening.

Mike knew he had strained his shoulder when he caught Hannah and as badly as it hurt, he'd do it again so that she wouldn't get hurt. Once at home, she fixed leftovers for supper and the conversation was pretty light. He gave Matty his bath and cuddled with him until bedtime. Hannah was working on her schoolwork in her bedroom. He wished that she would read her card. She had put the flowers in a vase and taken them to her room, and she was still wearing the locket.

Hannah had finished her schoolwork and was just sitting in her room. Matty and their dad were cuddling in the living room and she knew it was important that they have those moments. It made her wish that she was still young enough to cuddle like Matty still could. She was just too old. When she was little, he didn't cuddle much, at least not with her. She knew he was trying really hard to build a bond with her and it was painful for both of them. She decided the teasing had to stop and hoped that her dad would agree. She decided to go ahead and read the card, because it had seemed important to him.

" _Hannah,_

 _Yet again, I've screwed up where you're concerned. Saying 'I'm sorry' just doesn't seem good enough. I truly didn't mean to hurt you. You are always an absolute delight, never moody. I think we need to agree to stop the teasing. It can be fun but it can also cause some very hurt feelings. I don't feel that I can afford that with you right now._

 _There is so much that I want to say to you, but I will keep it at that I love you and I am proud of you. Polly tells me that there could come a time that you won't be able to forgive me for something that I say, and then I will lose you. I can't stand that thought._

 _I am not mad at you for how you acted when I first showed up. You had reasons all your own. I was hurt at the time, but I deserved it. I caused it by never telling you that I loved you or that I was proud of you. The fact that you decided to change for me? I am beyond proud of that and totally undeserving of it._

 _I wish I could go back in time when you were still small enough to cuddle in my lap. I didn't take the opportunity with you when you were that age and I regret that now. Deeply regret it. I can't go back, wish I could._

 _I love you more than you will ever know,_

 _Daddy"_

The letter actually made her smile. She couldn't really explain it but she decided to go in and cuddle up with her dad and Matty. It would be a bit uncomfortable but it would make her feel better. Matty was sound asleep on her dad's lap and he was just watching television. Thankfully Matty was on his bad side and there was plenty of room for the both of them. She sit down mostly on the arm of the chair and put her head on his shoulder. He'd put his arm around her and she could almost feel him smiling. It felt really good.

"I guess you read my note?"

"I did. I had just wished that I was still small enough to curl up on your lap. So I decided to just come in here and try. Hope it's okay?"

"More than okay. I'm loving it."

With her free arm, Hannah pulled the blanket off the back of the recliner and covered the three of them with it, and they fell asleep like that. A couple hours later, Grace came in. She'd seen them through the front window and so she very quietly made her way in. She snapped a picture with her cellphone and then decided to at least wake Matty up to get him into his own bed. He needed to sleep for school. Somehow she managed to get him woke up without waking up their dad or Hannah. She covered both of them back up, locked up and shut the lights off. Her dad had told her about his slip where Hannah was concerned and about the other issues. She had suspected it was what had caused Hannah's issues before their dad came back in picture and knew their relationship was delicate. She hoped they were finally healing and bonding. It was part of the reason why she wanted to move out. She tucked Matty in and promised him that all was fine, that Hannah and Daddy just needed to spend some time together.

She texted Polly the picture of the three of them in the recliner. It was a sweet moment and she would be getting it printed off and framed for her dad. It would be a good Father's Day gift. She wanted to get a picture with herself, Hannah, Matty, Max and Gabby altogether too. She got ready for bed, checked Matty to make sure he was settled. He'd gotten a bit spoiled by their dad allowing him to sleep with him. It was sweet but she knew Matty needed to get used to sleeping in his own bed. Polly's text was also very sweet.

" _How cute. Need to get that one printed off. He's gonna need a bigger chair soon. Max and Gabby will be right in the middle. Hannah and he had a bit of a rough day."_

 _"Yeah, he told me. I don't know how she ended up on his lap but I think they both needed it."_

 _"Yeah, they did. I had him buy her flowers and he already had the idea of getting her the necklace. Not necessarily to buy forgiveness but…"_

 _"It was a good idea. She's still wearing the necklace and I don't think it will be coming off anytime soon. The flowers are in a vase on her dresser."_

 _"It meant a lot to her. Course her falling and your dad catching her helped too. He hurt that shoulder pretty bad. I think he needs to go to the doctor but he thinks he just strained it."_

 _"I didn't know he'd hurt it. What happened?"_

 _"She was standing on a chair so Maggie could alter the dress for the wedding. The chair got hit and started to tip. Your dad managed to catch her before she fell. He hurt his shoulder. Told me he felt a pop in it. Calls it a 'strain'."_

 _"He doesn't want to tell Hannah that he hurt it."_

 _"Yep. He's going with Gabby and I to the ear doctor, I am going to try and take him to urgent care or something."_

 _"Yeah. Hannah is going to try and do a whole day at school, and I will pick her and the boys up. You and Dad can have another date, albeit with Gabby."_

 _"Ah, no biggie. Part of being a parent. The trick is going to be, convincing your dad to go to the doctor."_

 _"I'll work on him in the morning."_

 _"I sent muscle rub home with him. It seemed to help him. It might simply be a pulled muscle but he was in pretty intense pain. Hannah gave him something for the pain. He was trying to cover it for her benefit."_

 _"I will try and get him to let me put the muscle rub on him in the morning. I left him and Hannah sleeping like that. Got Matty woke up and in his own bed. He's not liking not sleeping in Daddy's bed. That might cause you guys issues later on. Daddy has a bad habit started."_

 _"Max does it too. He's in my bed now. I'm hoping that the boys sharing a room will help."_

 _"It probably will. It's actually sweet. I don't know how many times I've found Matty basically sleeping on top of Daddy."_

 _"How sweet. I'd better get to bed. Love you, sweetie."_

 _"Love you too."_

Grace went to sleep quickly. She had had an exhausting day too and she prayed that her dad hadn't injured his shoulder too badly. It would drive him crazy if he was hurt too.

The sun was rising when Mike finally woke up. Matty was nowhere around but Hannah was still balanced across the arm of the chair with her head on his shoulder. It was shocking that they had both slept like that all night. His shoulder hurt but not as badly as it had. He hated waking Hannah up because she was sound asleep but she had wanted to go to school.

"Hannah, sweetie, wake up. It's time for school."

"Aaahhh. Don't wanna. This feels good." She apparently wasn't registering that she was still on his shoulder and he was tempted to just let her be but he could hear Matty and Grace talking. He smoothed her hair back and kissed her forehead which caused her to open her eyes.

"What time is it?"  
"Morning. Sun is rising. Probably six thirty. Grace and Matty are awake."

"How did we both sleep this long like this and when did Matty wake up?"

"Not sure."

"It feels good."

"It does to me too. I love you, sissy and I am so, so sorry."

"I love you too. You haven't called me that in forever. And I'm sorry for my reaction."

"You had a right to the reaction you had. I went overboard. That's why I think we need to stop the teasing. It's too easy to go overboard. I hurt you. And Polly is right, I am going to say something stupid at some point and it won't be something you can forgive. And then, I'll lose you. I can't handle that thought."

"I agree. But I wouldn't leave you like that."

"If I made you angry enough, you would. Losing Lucas and your mom has been hard enough, but knowing I could lose you and be the cause of it? I couldn't handle that. You'd better get moving, Sissy. I'm going with Polly today but if you can't handle school all day, please call your sister to get you. I don't want you to overdo it like you did over the weekend."

"Okay. How's your shoulder?"

"A little stiff but better. Don't worry about it. Not a big deal at all."

"I heard something pop when you caught me?

"Yep, when you get as old as me, things will pop all the time. I would a lot rather having something pop then you to crack your head open."

"If you're sure you're okay? I hate that I hurt you."

"I'm fine. You didn't hurt me." Hannah had finally swung around and got off the chair, heading for her bedroom. Grace met her in the hallway with a smile. She grabbed the muscle rub off the counter and headed for Mike, sitting down on the opposite arm of the chair that Hannah had been on.

"Odd request, but take your shirt off. Polly told me about your shoulder."

"It's better."

"Still won't hurt to put this on it. C'mon, Dad."

"Okay, okay. When did Matty wake up? I didn't tuck him in…" He gently eased the shirt off; he didn't trust the shoulder at all even if it felt better. Grace began rubbing the stinky stuff in and he had to admit it felt better.

"I got home about ten and woke him up then. I tucked him in. You and Hannah looked so peaceful that I didn't want to disturb you. Although, he is going to expect you to tuck him in tonight. He's a bit grumpy this morning."

"I know I will be showering the stuff off but I have to get the smell off of me. I'll shave and then take both him and Hannah to school. I told her to call you if she couldn't handle school all day. I hope it isn't a problem at work?"

"No, I warned Alec I might have to leave early. I'll bring them back here. What time is Gabby's appointment?"

"Ten. We maybe back by then. Not sure. She wants to get me what I'm supposed to wear at the wedding and to get a wedding band."

"Take your time. I can handle the boys and Hannah will occupy herself. Can I ask what you did with your wedding band from Mom? You didn't throw it away, did you?"

"Absolutely not. I would have never done that. I had planned on giving it to you for when you and Ryan got married, that is, if you want it? I also have a pair of earrings that belonged to your mom to be given to you. I got them for her when you were born, kind of a thank you gift since she gave me you. They're your birthstone. I have already given Hannah her's. I don't know what to do with the ones I gave to her when Lucas was born."

"I was going to ask for the ring. As far as the earrings that you got for her when Lucas was born, maybe keep them for yourself? I'm not sure Matty would understand it and Polly will end up being the mom he remembers. He needs to know about Mom, but that is up to you, Hannah and I to tell him about. I don't really have a suggestion for those earrings. I have her wedding band and engagement ring. She specifically asked me to take them before she died. I don't know why, and I had honestly forgotten to give them back to you. I don't know that I want to go back to my apartment to get them alone yet, maybe you and I can get them this evening? Maybe keep them for Matty?"

"She might have figured you could sell them if you ever needed the money. And yes, I will do that."

"I couldn't ever do that. I don't know why. There were plenty of times that I probably should have but I couldn't. Okay, all done. You'd better get ready. That stubble is driving me crazy."

"I just don't understand why no one will let me grow a beard."

"Because it looks horrible. I'll look in on Matty and make sure he's getting ready while you shower and shave.

"Alright, love you sweetie."

"I love you too.

Mike got up and listened to Grace talking to a groggy Matty before going in and showering and shaving. It would be a long day. He hated shopping but knew it was necessary. The shower made his shoulder feel much better. He shaved and dressed for the day. Matty was definitely being a bear that morning and it tried even his patience. Hannah was thrilled to be going back to school. He got them both there on time and hugged and kissed both of them. He would definitely need to tuck Matty in that night. The break in the routine had disturbed the little guy quite a bit. Polly had taken Max to school and he sit with Gabby while she was inside. It made him smile to hear her say "Dada" repeatedly. Polly followed him back to his house where he dropped his truck off and then went on their way. She mentioned taking him to the doctor for his shoulder and he assured her it felt much better. He was looking forward to their day.


	48. Chapter 48

**Five Years Later**

Chapter 48

Gabby's hearing test made her mad, but the audiologist told them it was a good sign. Her hearing didn't seem to be affected and the ear doctor told them that he wanted to monitor her before putting tubes in due to her age. He agreed with the heated sweet oil treatment that Mike had been doing and gave Polly a prescription for some antibiotic ear drops. Gabby had decided that the poking and prodding was all her mommy's fault and so she wanted her "Dada." Mike thought it was adorable, Polly not so much. The audiologist did tell Mike and Polly that Gabby was pretty advanced since she was already forming words. She was working on "Mommom" for Polly and "Sissy" for Hannah. He would work on the other names later; he just wanted her to have a name for Hannah since they had such a strong bond.

They ate lunch at a kid friendly place and at one point Polly had gotten up to use the restroom, leaving Gabby with Mike. As she walked out of view, Gabby started crying. Mike took her out of the high chair and was holding her, while the baby girl was looking around.

"Mamma?"

"That's a good girl. Where's Mamma?"

"Mamma?" The waitress had come over to fill their drinks up and laughed at Gabby.

"Your daughter is adorable. I don't think I've seen one so young forming words. How old is she?"

"Six months and thanks. She looks like her mommy."

"So young and I can see some similarities between her and you."

"Thanks." It was easier to just not correct her. He'd seen pictures of Paul and knew that Gabby actually looked a bit like him. Besides she would be his daughter in every way but biologically. He felt the same about her as what he did with Grace and Hannah. Polly came in and sit back down and laughed at Mike and Gabby. She was playing with his nose and giggling.

"Gabby, where's Mamma?" Gabby looked over to Polly and started smiling big, waving her arms at Polly. "Mamma!"

"That's my baby girl! Mike, did you teach her to say that?"

"Yeah, it was a tie between 'Mama' and 'Mommom.'"

"I like 'mamma,' I was beginning to get jealous of you. I think she loves you just a bit more."

"No she definitely loves you. She started crying when she couldn't see you. That's why I got her out of the high chair." Mike's cellphone started ringing and so Polly took Gabby. It was Tom.

"Hey, what's going on? Everything okay?"

"Yep, all good. I've done some digging. Jeremy Adler should have been awarded the Medal of Honor. He wasn't the sole survivor of that attack. He drug his buddy out who had a broken leg, also got the interpreter out despite being so severely injured. The process had started to get him the Medal when the Red Flu hit. Everything got shelved but the President has taken this as a 'pet project.' He and I will be there next Monday to give Jeremy the Medal. We will also be bringing him a check. He'll have no concerns for the rest of his life. The President does have one request; he wants you and Hannah there. We know that Jeremy can't get to St. Louis so we're bringing the ceremony to him."

"Wow. Just, wow! What happened to the buddy? And the interpreter?"

"We tracked the buddy down. He'll also be there Monday. He's married with twin boys. Police officer here in St. Louis. No idea on the interpreter. Probably died in the Red Flu and you know how hard they are to track even on a good day. It's okay if you want to tell Jeremy about the Medal, but Officer Johnson wants his appearance to be a surprise to Jeremy. He figured that Jeremy had died in the Red Flu. It's amazing, Mike."

"Alright, Polly and I are in Springfield and I will talk to the manager, explain everything to him. I will also talk to Jeremy. I don't have Hannah with me so I won't be able to understand anything that he wants to say but he will understand me. This is amazing."

"And you'll be there? Hannah too?"

"Yep, I'll hold her out of school. It's more important that she be there. She's the one that advocated for Jeremy, aside from you of course."

"I didn't do anything. Jeremy should have been awarded that Medal and he should have been getting a check all along. He'll get it now."

"Thank you, hey, Polly just slipped me a note, she needs your sizes so we can have something for you to wear to the wedding. It's not anything fancy, I promise."

"Yeah, Sasha asked me about the dress code. Don't be surprised if she cries, she's pregnant and emotional. She cried last night because there were no Oreos left. I literally went to the store at midnight to get Oreos because I didn't want her to cry anymore. I'll have her text you with my sizes. Oh and Master Chief will also be here Monday, and then will ride down with us the next Saturday. Andrea is coming with; they are kind of an item."

Mike spewed his sweet tea; he could not feature the two of them together or Sasha crying over cookies. Gabby was giggling at him and kept saying "Dada!"

"Regulations? Wow, I didn't see that happening at all. But I can see how it would work."

"Things are pretty relaxed now. They just won't deploy together. It also helps that they are friends with the CNO. I may or may not be turning a blind eye."

"Yeah, makes sense."

"So we will be at the home at ten am next Monday. You don't have to be uniform but the President does request that Hannah dress up a bit. She's being awarded with a "Citizen's Medal of Honor." My take is that, it's for people that have gone above and beyond for a member of the Armed Services. It's up to you if you want to tell her about it though. We're keeping it quiet."

"Then I will too. That will be awesome. She is definitely deserving."

"Well, maybe she will display her Medal, unlike her father?"

"She has something to be proud of, me, not so much. Mine won't ever be. Hers definitely will be displayed."

"You have plenty to be proud of. I know you don't think so because of what all happened with Christine and the kids but you saved millions of lives."

"Yep, maybe but the cost was way too high. So, I will be looking from that text from Sasha and tell her I don't care if she wears sweats to the wedding. I will probably just tell Jeremy that he will be receiving some commendations Monday but won't go into detail about what they are or who is giving them. I will let Peter know though and I will have Hannah there. Does the rest of the family need to be there?"

"You mean your basketball team? Nope, not necessary. Maybe we can go out to lunch after? President will be traveling separately then me."

"Sounds good. And by the way, Polly and I will be shooting for a football team, how many is on one again?"

"You'd better get a job. No way are your benefits going to cover that."

"Hey, you and Sasha have a head start!"

"You've already come up with two more kids?"

"Yeah but Gabby is too small for football."

"Give her time. I'd better get going; I will have Sasha text you and I will probably talk to you before Monday."

"Sounds good, thanks for everything and goodbye." Mike hung up and Polly started laughing hysterically which caused Gabby to giggle at him. He couldn't figure out what was so funny.

"That was such a weird conversation to only hear one side of. And a football team, Mike? I'm good with one or two more but a football team? Maybe you need to count the kids that Ryan and Grace have eventually. We'll be having kids at the same time as them which is odd."

"So I'm curious, Ryan is your nephew but will also be your son-in-law, so will they be your grandkids or your great-nieces and nephews?"

"Same goes for you?"

"Yeah, true. We'd better get out of here before we make everyone think we're strange or something."

"I think they thought that when you spit your tea all over Gabby and I. Very romantic by the way."

"Tom's wife, Sasha is pregnant. She is in Navy Intelligence. Tough operator. She apparently cried over cookies last night. They had run out of Oreos and Tom had to go to the store at midnight and get more cookies."

"Oh, trust me, Mike, when I'm pregnant, you will be on the hunt for my food cravings constantly. Just be ready. Don't be laughing too hard at Sasha now. I'll make you pay for it later."

"It's not Sasha I'm laughing at, it's Tom. The fact that he left his house at midnight to get cookies so she wouldn't cry. That's funny."

"Oh you have many lessons to learn. So where to next?

"We need to run by the veteran's home. Jeremy is being awarded with a Medal of Honor next Monday. I'm just going to alert him that he will be getting some commendations and that he will be getting a benefits check. Let Peter know what's going on. Hannah is also going to be getting a Medal for going above and beyond for a member of the Armed Services. I'm not telling her though. When we go shopping for wedding clothes, we may also pick her out an outfit for it. I know I've already bought her a new dress this week for the wedding but I want her to have something special."

"She had eyed another dress that will be perfect. It was before she and Grace came up with the teal and dark blue dresses. Gabby's is cream colored and with purple accents. I was thinking the boys could wear black dress pants with one wearing teal and the other a dark blue shirt. As far as you and Tom, I don't know."

"What's your dress look like? I was disappointed that I didn't get any pictures." Even though she was driving, she tossed a napkin at Mike and laughed at him, which caused Gabby to giggle.

"Not so easy there. I will tell you it's an off-white, cream color and has lace."

"Well I want more details. Wait, I just realized, you haven't done your wedding night shopping? Is that gonna be today too? I'll hold Gabby while you try stuff on."

"And I would guess you would want me to model it too? That would be awkward. And no, we're not doing that today. Maggie and I will be coming up here later this week or next to do some shopping. It will be done then."

"I would think it would be awkward modeling for your sister?"

"Divide and conquer. She's handling the food so she'll need to do some shopping. I will do my shopping then."

"In all seriousness, does she need my card? Or you?"

"I won't refuse it. Even though we're doing simple, it's still expensive. I hate spending your money though."

"Don't worry about it. It's the only wedding day and night we'll have. Use it to make the hotel reservations too if you haven't already."

"I actually did that yesterday. It's covered. We're at the veteran's home now. Hopefully Jeremy is awake. I figure he'll be upset that Hannah isn't with us." They walked up the steps with Mike carrying Gabby. Several of the guys on the porch asked Mike and Polly where Hannah was. She was well loved by several of the residents.

They found Peter who led them to Jeremy's room after Mike explained everything to him. Fortunately Jeremy was awake and watching a movie which he paused as soon as Mike and Polly walked in. He seemed to be looking for Hannah and Mike could tell her not being there made him nervous. He sit down on a stool next to his wheelchair so that Jeremy could see him and didn't have to look up. Gabby had gone to Polly who stood close by.

"Jeremy, Hannah is okay. She's at school. I'll bring her up this weekend to see you. We just happened to be in town and decided to stop by and see you. Sorry I didn't think to get you any movies or magazines, it was kind of a spur of the moment decision and I know Hannah will be upset that she didn't get to see you today. I have made some calls about your benefits check. I know the CNO pretty well. He's done some checking and you will get your money soon. He is also going to be here Monday to give you some commendations that you should have gotten before the Red Flu hit."

Jeremy was trying to sign but Mike was at a complete loss, fortunately Peter had been close by and handed Mike a small dry erase board and marker. Jeremy wasn't left handed but it had become his dominant hand so he could write basic things that he wanted to say on the board. It wasn't as good as talking or signing but would work in a pinch.

 _"You didn't have to do that."_

"'No man left behind' applies to all branches of the service, and you were being left behind. My daughter just had to remind me of that. I'd forgotten it for a while. She's gonna be here Monday, and Polly and Gabby too. Do you care if I bring another sailor?"

 _"No. I just would like Hannah to be here at least. I know she would miss school."_

 _"_ I think she can skip it. Ryan is my older daughter's fiancé. He just got back from being deployed. He and some of his sailors got pinned down and he ended up being tortured. He killed four men but got all his men out. Took the brunt of the abuse. He doesn't want to accept his commendations and I think it might do him some good to be here, if it's okay with you?"

 _"I'd like for him to be here. Is your other daughter going to be here too?"_

"Probably not. They are just practically engaged. It's a little hard to explain. Polly is his aunt."

Jeremy waved his hand to Polly and Mike could tell he was wearing down so he stood up and squeezed his shoulder and smiled at him. Mike had just had something dawn on him. Mike and Polly made their exit, telling Peter that he and Hannah would be back over the weekend to see Jeremy and then the following Monday. As they walked out to Polly's vehicle, Mike decided to tell Polly what he was thinking and that he needed help.

"Tom's been telling me that I need to be proud of my medals and commendations. I have them in a dresser drawer. I couldn't be proud of them because of how much my kids suffered while I was getting them. He thinks they need displayed. I just told Ryan last week that if he wanted to stick his in a drawer once he received them to go ahead but to accept them for all the men and women who couldn't receive them for whatever reason. I was wrong."

"Okay, so what do you need me to do? I do agree they need to not be hidden away. The kids suffered but they are proud of you, proud of your service. You may have accepted them for those men and women but maybe you need to display them for the kids, so that they know they didn't suffer in vain?"

"Especially Grace. She lost so much. I don't know about displaying them. I know this sounds stupid, but maybe I should give them to her and let her decide what's done with them. Hannah lost out too, Matty too. But Grace? She lost so much and sacrificed so much."

"Mike, I think that is a wonderful idea. She'll want them displayed; she'll want you to be proud of them."

"I will leave it up to her. She asked me for my wedding band from Christine this morning. And she does have Christine's engagement ring and wedding band that she wants Matty to have. Apparently before Christine died, she told Grace to take them. I think she knew she was dying and wanted Grace to sell them for money. Grace just never did."

"Not knowing how much you paid for them, they would have only gotten her a couple hundred dollars and it was a part of both you and Christine that she could have. Makes sense that she wouldn't sell them. It will give you the opportunity to give her the Medals. Can you hold Gabby for me while I get her car seat ready?"

"Of course. Sorry, I'm distracted. She wants me to go with her to the apartment tonight so she can get the rings. She's scared to be there by herself just yet."

"It's okay. And that's to be expected. I'm honestly shocked that she can walk back in there. I still have never gone back to the park where I was raped."

"I'm wondering if she going to handle moving back in there. She knows that she is ready to move out of my house and I agree but I may suggest getting her another apartment or house. It might ease things up for her."

"I think she will want to move back there. She may not stay and you might get a lot of middle of the night calls from her, but I do think her moving back to that apartment and being there alone is part of the healing process that she has to go through."

"Where's the park?"

"What park?"

"Where you were raped? Maybe you need to go back there? When you're ready…"

"Not sure I will ever be ready. It's in Kansas City. The healing process is different for everyone but I don't think going back there will help me. It might actually do more harm than good because they never caught my assailant. I would be scared that he would be back there. I also am terrified that he will somehow figure out that I got pregnant that night with Max. That he will try and get Max away from me. I know that that will probably not happen and he's probably dead but it still terrifies me."

"I would never allow that to happen. Is that why you don't have any issues with me adopting him?"

"Partly, yes. Same reason I had no issues with Paul adopting him. It's not just a matter of convenience, but protection too. I know the likelihood is nil, but the fear is still there. I also know that Paul loved Max and that you also love him. That's the real reason I have no issues with it. You love him and Gabby, who by the way, is sound asleep."

"I'll put her in the car seat. It's your decision but will you tell Max about how you had him?"

"He knows that Paul adopted him and that his real father hurt me really bad and will never be a part of his life. That's as much as I am willing to tell him. Unless by some strange…not miracle but…whatever you would want to call it, he would show up, and then I would be forced to tell. I just pray that never happens. At that point, Max will need to know that he has a daddy who loves him so much, that blood doesn't matter. He had that with Paul and he has that with you."

"Well, if he would ever happen to show up, I am not the only person between him and Max. You will be there. Alec, Maggie, Ryan, my girls? He won't stand a chance at getting to Max. Unless you want to continue to talk about this, let's go shopping. And just forewarning, those are three words you will never hear me repeat again!"

"Duly noted. Obviously not one of your favorite things to do? And hey, that place that Hannah was telling me about is actually at the mall, let's check and see if there are any activities the two of you can do that is fun but injury appropriate. It will help her."

"That sounds like fun. Maybe when we come up this weekend? If they have something we can do. This shoulder should be good by then."

"I wouldn't trust it too far. No rock climbing for you."

"Zip lining might be okay. She may not be ready by then."

"So that's something you would be interested in doing?"

"Rock climbing, zip lining, obstacle courses? Yeah, I would love that stuff. Her mom loved bowling with her and it wasn't bad, but having something that is just her and I? That sounds even more fun."

"I think she's excited about it."

"I know I am. Let's get to the mall. Another phrase I won't say often."

Gabby laughed and drove them to the mall. They checked out the place that had the obstacle courses and other activities. There were several activities that Mike and Hannah would both be able to do, Mike was intrigued and Polly was bored. It was not her cup of tea. The guy they talked to told them to wear comfortable clothes and gave Mike a list of activities that would be available both Saturday and Sunday. He was getting more excited about it just reading and looking at everything.

They got all their shopping done. Mike and Tom would be wearing dark colored pants, black shoes and the same off white shirts. It was similar in color to Polly's dress. She decided the boys would wear the teal colored shirts with dark blue vests, black pants and shoes. They also got Hannah the dress that she eyed and a pair of shoes to go with for the awards ceremony. Gabby was getting fussy and so they decided to head on home. Hannah had texted Mike to let him know she had gotten through school and was tired. Grace was taking her home and she promised that she would rest. Grace had both boys as well. Polly would stay at Mike's with the kids while he and Grace went to her apartment. It might be a quick trip, or it might take a while. He would just not let her go by herself yet. She had specifically asked him to and he would be there for her.


	49. Chapter 49

**Five Years Later**

Chapter 49

Mike was amazed by Grace's strength as she walked through the apartment. The only signs of the attack were actually on Grace's person. Her hair was just fuzz at that point, her arm was still in a brace, and the scar on the side of her head was still apparent. She wore a scarf at work and out and about but had already taken it off. She decided since they were there, she would clean her fridge out and air everything out. She wouldn't let Mike help her with any of it and so he finally sit at the kitchen island and waited for her to finish what she wanted to do. She wasn't talking either. It was eerie. It was almost like she had forgotten that Mike was even there. She finally walked over to the dresser that held all of her clothing that was not at his house and pulled a box out of the top drawer. As she was closing the drawer, he heard her gasp and start crying.

"What's wrong, honey?"

"There's blood here. It got missed when everyone cleaned. How did it get all the way over here?" Mike crossed the room and put his arms around her. There was a small amount of blood splatter on the dresser. It honestly blended into the stain. He'd pulled clothes out the dresser right after the attack and had missed it. Several people missed it. Grace didn't seem to want to be touched and so he dropped his arms. She wiped the tears and walked over to the sink, wetting a cloth. He reached for it, but she shook her head. She then walked back to the dresser and washed it off. He scanned the room to make sure there was no more blood anywhere. None was visible but he was going to ask Alec for a black light and some luminal before Grace got moved in.

"Grace, I know you need to move out and regain your independence. I am completely supportive of that decision, but if you don't want to move back here, I will help you find a new apartment or a house. I'll help you pay for it if you need help. You are a lot stronger then I would be. I wouldn't be even considering moving back in if I was you. No one will think less of you if you decide you can't live here."

"Thanks, Daddy. But this is my home. I know you want your house to be my home but this is my home. I know it sounds stupid. I barely even remember any of our houses before this. Your house is a nice place to visit but it's your home. And it's not even that because home isn't a place, its people. So yeah, I guess in a way I'm home wherever you guys are at, but this is my place. I moved in here with Hannah and Matty just after my fifteenth birthday. I decorated it so they could feel like that had a home. It's where we spent birthdays and Christmas. Where we were sad, where we were happy, where we missed you, Mom and Lucas. Hannah and Matty have a new place. Your place, but this is my place. You'll have Christmas and birthdays and you'll be happy and sad at your house and so will Hannah and Matty. I will visit there and I will share those memories but I need to live here. I will eventually move out but for now, I have to live here. It'll be hard. And I know you don't want it to be hard for me. And it won't be if you guys stay here that first night and will be where I can reach you when I am by myself and get scared. That's what you can do for me."

"You have no idea how proud of you that I am. I do want you to promise me, if you can't handle being here, you tell me. We will find you someplace else to live. No one, not me, not anyone, will think less of you."

"I promise, Daddy."

"Okay, I love you so much."

"I love you too. Here's a box of Mom's stuff. I forgot to give it back to you, sorry."

"Nothing to be sorry for. Do you want to stay here and go through it or head back to my place?"

"Let's go back to your place. I'm hungry."

"Well alright then."

Mike put his arm around her and kissed her on the forehead. He had lived his entire life, had been in combat numerous times, thought he was dying more than a few times, thought he knew everything, but his kids taught him more about life than he dreamed possible. It was nothing short of amazing. They headed home or his "place" rather.  
Grace insisted that he go through the box alone, which was odd at best. Most of it was stuff that the kids would end up with. He was still planning on giving Grace the medals but decided to do when it was just her and him, after Hannah and Matty had gone to sleep. Polly, Max and Gabby left just after supper, and he bathed Matty. They would spend their evening cuddling.

He had explained to Hannah about the awards ceremony, but left out the part where she would also be receiving a medal. He was also immensely proud of her. Grace had taught him that his home was his family and Hannah had taught him that he needed to be proud of his service and about true goodness. Matty taught him that it was okay to still laugh and love. Polly, Max and Gabby had taught him that there was still hope for love and happiness. And they had all taught him about faith. Faith in family, God and in himself.

He tucked Matty into bed. The little guy had agreed to sleep in his own bedroom that night. Mike had talked to him about staying in there and that before long Max would be sharing the room. It would be okay to sleep with him and Polly when he wasn't feeling good or was scare of something. Mike almost hated giving Matty the talk but knew it was needed. Thankfully Matty was accepting of it as long as Mike promised to tuck him in every night and to stay with him until he fell asleep. It was a tiny thing to ask.

Hannah had gone to bed not long after Matty; school had worn her out completely. It was concerning. He planned on picking her up after lunch the next day despite her objections. He needed to eat lunch with Grace mostly to instigate Tamara. The investigation needed to end once and for all. Grace was in her room and so he decided to give the medals to her then. He walked into the bedroom and she was sitting on the bed looking at the college textbooks and was writing in a notebook. The classes hadn't even started and she was already studying. He sit down next to her and shut the textbook.

"Daddy, my mind is made up about the apartment."

"This isn't about that. Jeremy is being awarded with the Congressional Medal of Honor. Hannah is being given a Citizen's Medal of Honor for going above and beyond for a member of the Armed Services. A remark was made about her displaying her medal. I have several for some of the stuff I did during the Red Flu and after, including a couple Medals of Honor. I don't display mine. I'm not proud of them and I will never be. I did what I did because it was my job to do so. I was being awarded for doing my job, while you kids were suffering and sacrificing. You gave up more than anyone. Hannah and Matty did too but it was you that my being gone will have the most profound effect on. I want you to have these medals. You can choose what you want to do with them. If you want them displayed then we'll display them. Talk it over with Hannah if you feel that you need to. Matty is too young to understand. I had told Ryan if he wanted to stick his commendations in a drawer, then it was up to him. I was probably wrong in that."

"You may not be proud of these but I am. They need to be displayed. I won't ask you to tell the stories about how you earned them. I will tell you, to me it wasn't a sacrifice, and it was an honor to do what I did. I would do it all again in a heartbeat. I am proud of you. I am going to ask that you not dwell on me sacrificing so much. Like I said, it was an honor to do what I did. I just wanted to keep our family together so that if you did ever find us, we would be together and it would be easier. It's in the past. You're helping me now, to have a normal life. You're doing right by Hannah and Matty. You've stopped drinking. You and Polly have this amazing relationship and you are going to be the dad that Max and Gabby deserve. You have nothing to be ashamed of. You are helping Jeremy and you're helping Ryan come to terms with what happened to him. If you had anything to atone for, which you don't, you are doing that. I love you and I am proud of you, Daddy."

"I love you too, Grace. I guess I hadn't looked at it like that. I just hated seeing them and knowing what you had gone through. I will never be particularly proud of them but I am proud of you kids. And helping Jeremy and Ryan? It makes me feel good. It makes having those medals make sense. I can understand something that they've gone through."

"Well, I think in helping them, you've found a new purpose. Being our dad is great and you're awesome at it, but it's not the only thing in the world. I think Hannah has the right idea about that veteran's home. She told me after the church did that service project that she knew she would probably never find you there but being there made her feel like she was doing something for you. At that point we didn't know where you were or what you were doing but it made her feel better. That's why I let her still go there even though she was causing so much trouble. It was just a huge coincidence that you ended up here. God thing, who knows but why on Earth would you buy a farm in the middle of nowhere? "

"I have no explanation for that. I bought it sight unseen too. The first night here, I laid down on the couch and thought that there was no way I would ever use all the bedrooms. That it was too big of a house, and now I'm looking at putting an addition on. Its strange how things change and how quickly they can change. I do want to keep Hannah getting that medal a secret and I would also like Ryan to come to the veteran's home that day. I think him seeing Jeremy receive those commendations maybe cathartic for him. I may need your help convincing him."

"I'll talk to him. He did get an appointment later this week. Alec is taking the day off to take him. They appreciated your offer but Alec wanted to. I think it'll help him to talk it out and to also see Jeremy receive those commendations. He is really on the fence about his. It doesn't feel right to him. He's glad that he got his men out of there but the fact that he had to kill to do it, gets him. He knows that he signed up for that but it still kind of bothers him. I'm not sure if that's normal or not."

"It's perfectly normal. If he didn't have a problem with it, there would be cause for concern. I had to kill too and I hate it. My being ashamed of those commendations comes from what you guys went through, not the killing. But that does stay with a person."

"He did tell me that he hasn't had any more nightmares since you and he talked. Do you have nightmares?"

"No. I did before I found you kids but they were always about you guys. Not what I did. That's how I started drinking. If I drank enough, I didn't tend to have them. I didn't drink when I was deployed but once I settled back in St. Louis, I couldn't stop thinking about you kids. It was around the same time that I found out your mom had died. Knowing that you and Hannah were out there, somewhere, alone…it bothered me. I tried not to think about the baby too much. I didn't know if Matty had survived the birth or if I would even find him or even who he was. If I thought about him too much, I would have gotten attached and I didn't want to be attached and then find out I lost him. It was the unknowns that got me. Where you and Hannah were, if Matty had survived, all that got me and drove me into that bottle."

"I hate that you went through all that. I had no idea how to even find you. And I was also scared that I would find out that you had died. I wasn't sure how any of us would cope with that. It was easier to not look too hard and just pretend you were still out there, then dealing with the fact that you might have died. I know it sounds stupid but I just couldn't go there."

"It's not stupid. I had private investigators and had done some of my own investigating but I was always terrified to answer the calls from the private investigators. Knowing that it could be to tell me that you all had died? Uncle Tom finally had the investigator just call him with any bad news. He's the one that told me your mom had died and gave me the death certificate. He also tried to investigate it. No one had any answers. How did you all end up here? Assuming she died in Springfield?"

"She did. It was pretty warm and I had Matty. We just started walking. Seemed like for hours. Hannah was only nine and Matty was only a couple days old. Maggie had gone on a supply run for the restaurant. She seen us and pulled over. Their kids had died and she felt bad for us. She knew that there were essentially no social services and so she and Alec took us in. I didn't want us to separated and they wanted to help. It helped them too. We stayed with them for about a year. I had only told her what my birthday was, not the year so she thought I was eighteen. Schools were still closed down so I just never went back. I worked instead. As soon as the schools started running I got Hannah enrolled and just didn't go back myself. It wasn't until my birthday, when Maggie was trying to make me a cake, that she and Alec found out that I was only fifteen at that point. It wasn't too long after that that we moved into the apartment. Matty was about a year old. Maggie didn't want us to move while he was still a baby. She helped me with him a lot. I didn't know anything about babies."

"And they never let anyone know how old you were?"

"No. It took sometime before Children's Division came back online and by then, it was easier to just go along with it. Alec didn't like the idea probably because of being a sheriff but he also knew that if he made the call, we'd get separated. I had things pretty well in hand, and so they just helped where they could. No one else knew. Everyone at the sheriff's office thinks I'm about twenty three. Not nineteen."

"It's amazing."

"You aren't mad at them?"

"For not reporting you? For helping you stay together? No, I'm just grateful. Who knows what would have happened if you kids got sucked into the system. I would have never found you guys."

"That's why I wanted to stay together. It would be easier to find us. I had purposely kept a low profile but I did want you to find us. I didn't make it real easy though."

"I just never thought to look here. What brought your mom to this area?"

"It was pretty rural and while there were some deaths from the Red Flu, it had been largely untouched. It was also pretty self-sustaining. Farmers had food and there were jobs."

"Makes sense."

"Yeah, Daddy, it's really late now and I am tired. I have work in the morning. I hate to boot you out but I do need to go to bed. I will come up with something for these medals but I want you to stop thinking about how much I've sacrificed. I love you."

"I love you too, and I am so, so proud of you. The wedding band is in the box. Goodnight."

Mike hugged and kissed Grace on the forehead, checked on Hannah and Matty, locked up and headed to bed himself. It had been a long day. He had fallen asleep when he felt Matty touch his arm.

"What's wrong, son?"

"I'm not sick or anything but I am missing you, can't I sleep in here with you one more night?" Mike nodded at him and helped him into the bed, wrapping his arms around him. He couldn't tell him no. It didn't say much for his parenting skills but he had actually been missing Matty too. It didn't take either of them long to go back to sleep.


	50. Chapter 50

**Five Years Later**

Chapter 50

The week went by at a startling rate. Mike's days were pretty routine. He took Hannah and Matty to school. On Wednesday he took lunch to Grace but Tamara was too busy to get any sort of a rise out of her. Evenings were spent with Polly and the kids. He had managed to keep Hannah's award a secret from her and wedding preparations were being made. Rebuilding his relationship with Hannah was a bit harder than he thought because so much of their relationship was based on teasing. It almost felt like he didn't know how to communicate with her and it made him feel bad. Her labs came back within normal limits and her pain level was getting lower every day. She insisted on going to school every day for the full day and on Thursday proudly handed Mike her grade card. It had been all F's the semester before but her third quarter grades were all solid A's and B's. He was beyond thrilled for her. Matty was not adjusting to not sleeping in Mike's bed well and Mike didn't help the problem any. One night he even fell asleep in Matty's room and stayed asleep all night with Matty clinging tightly to him.

On Friday he ordered his and Grace's lunch and decided to play nice and get Tamara a cheeseburger and fries. Maggie looked at him a little odd when he told her what he was doing but went along with it. She didn't like Tamara at all and had essentially told Mike that Tamara was a badge bunny. She wasn't worried about Alec at all but it worried her for the other deputies. She was the motherly sort and Mike knew she worried about all the deputies and other staff much like they were her own children.

When he walked in and handed Tamara the to go box with her food, she sneered at him. Midway through lunch with Grace, he got a call from Hannah that she wasn't feeling well. He immediately got up to go get her but promised Grace that he would be back. Hannah was waiting in the office for him and told him that she was just tired and her stomach was cramping up a bit. When he mentioned that he wanted to go back to the sheriff's office, she was fully on board and told Mike that Grace would have what she needed. He got the feeling that it was some sort of feminine product and he didn't particularly want to know any more details. Grace took Hannah into the locker room and within a couple minutes they were both back. Grace nodded at him letting him know that all was fine. Hannah ate part of Mike's sandwich and some of Grace's fries. They were talking wedding plans when out of the corner of his eye he saw Tamara walking towards them. He saw her pull a gun from behind her. He yelled, slammed Grace onto the floor and rolled Hannah's chair out of the line of fire. Kirk had heard him and seen the activity and tackled Tamara. There had been two shots fired into Grace's office and one had grazed Mike's arm.

Grace was fine. A little sore from Mike slamming her onto the floor but not a scratch on her. When he looked over at Hannah believing that she had not been in the line of fire, he immediately saw the blood rolling down her neck. Alec helped Kirk get Tamara disarmed and yelled for the jailer to roll an ambulance. Grace went into 'dispatcher mode' and run up front to start the process. Hannah hadn't moved a muscle but she was conscious. She answered Alec's questions but none of Mike's. It was odd. He had thrown himself over Grace on instinct; she was in the line of fire and the most obvious target. It was pure instinct. Alec figured out that Hannah had a bad graze wound on her scalp. She was out of the line of fire but one of the bullets ricocheted on a metal filing cabinet. Mike hadn't accounted for that. He was blaming Hannah's odd silence on adrenaline but she seemed mad at him for something.

The ambulance bandaged Mike's arm and told Mike that Hannah needed stitches. If she had been an inch to the left the bullet wouldn't have hit her, and if she had been an inch to the right, Mike's whole world would have been shattered. The paramedics had bandaged the wound, and stopped it from bleeding. She didn't need to go by ambulance but she did need to go to the ER, he made arrangements for Polly to pick up Matty. Grace would be at work for a while. Hannah still hadn't said a single word to him. She also barely spoke to Grace. She answered the paramedic's questions and Alec's but Mike was getting a cold shoulder.

The entire ride to the hospital, Hannah never said a word, and would only shake her head if Mike asked her anything. He'd screwed something up royally. He just didn't know what. Once at the hospital, they put several stitches in Hanna's scalp. The doctor made sure to tell Mike and Hannah both that she was incredibly lucky. Mike had gotten up to sign the discharge papers. Just before he went out of ear shot he heard Hannah say something that made everything make sense.

"And you would have been better off if I had been killed. I'm not Grace, Matty or Lucas. I will never measure up no matter how hard I try. You didn't want me when you and Mom had me. It would have been better for you and everyone if it had been me die rather than Lucas. It would have never phased you. Mom was the one that wanted me. Not you. You have only convinced yourself that you loved me to make yourself feel better. You wanted me to die so much that you only shoved my chair out of the way; it was Grace that you threw yourself over. I was just a second thought. The same thing I've been to you my entire life."

"Hannah…"

"No. You can't lie your way out of this. Polly was right, you did something that I couldn't forgive, she only thought it would be something that you would say. Actions speak louder than words."

"I…uh…."

"Don't bother. You can't dig your way out of this and you can't buy your way out."

"I love…"

"No you don't. You love Grace, Matty, Polly, Max and Gabby. I don't know why I ever fooled myself into thinking you actually even cared about me. It must have been quite hard to keep this act up the last couple weeks."

"It's not an act, I…"

"Seriously, stop. I am ready to go back to…well, not your house. Maybe Maggie and Alec's." She had gotten off the hospital bed and headed for the door and his truck. As she walked by Mike, he tried to catch her. Instead she pulled her locket off her neck and practically threw it at Mike. He thankfully caught it. She was in the truck when Mike got to it and never acknowledged him.

The entire ride home she looked out the window, never talking. He'd offered to go and get her something to eat, to take her to see Jeremy and to do any number of things but she never answered him. Losing Lucas had been hard, not finding Christine and the kids had been agonizing, but Hannah completely rejecting him, it had ripped his heart out. He had operated on pure instinct. If it had been Hannah sitting in the chair, he would have covered her exactly the same way he done with Grace. The one thing he was absolutely sure of was that Hannah was not living anywhere else. The turn off for Maggie and Alec's was before his but he drove by it.

"I told you I didn't want to go back to your house and that is where we are headed."

"You aren't living anywhere else."

"I will just leave. I'm done, Admiral."

"Hannah, we have to work this out. I…"

"ENOUGH!"

"Hannah…"

"Stop, just stop. I hate you!" They had gotten to his house and Hannah had the door open before he put the truck in park. Polly met them on the path, and she was holding Gabby. As soon as the baby saw Hannah, she started waving her arms around, grinning and said, "Sissy!" Hannah stopped in her tracks, smiled at Gabby and then headed for the front door, slamming it behind her.

"Mike, what's going on?"

"I have no idea. She's convinced that I don't love her or ever wanted her. Grace was in the line of fire and I threw myself over her. I kicked Hannah out of the way but she got hit by a ricochet. She doesn't want to live here." Mike choked out the last sentence. His heart was completely broken and he had no idea how to fix things with Hannah.

"Take Gabby. I'll talk to her."

"Okay but she may not talk to you."

"Part of being a pastor is about having a way with people."

"I don't feel I did anything wrong. Grace was closest and was the natural target. I did kick Hannah away from the line of fire but I never counted on a ricochet."

"Mike, I know. I know. But you need to figure out if you did want her."

"I don't know. I wanted a boy when she was born but I love her, then and now."

"My advice would be not to tell her that you wanted a boy but more or less got stuck with her. I'd better get in there."

Mike nodded and followed her in. Grace had the boys in the backyard, kicking a soccer ball around. Thankfully they didn't witness Hannah's trip through the house. Polly headed straight for Hannah's room but come back and told Mike that Hannah had locked the door. He handed Gabby back and headed for the bedroom. Polly followed him.

"Hannah, unlock this door or I will kick it down."

"Then kick away."

Mike looked at Polly and she shrugged her shoulders. He kicked the door in and Polly immediately headed in, handing Gabby back. As badly as he wanted to walk in to the bedroom he stopped himself. He just hoped Polly would be able to solve it. He was at his wit's end and he had never hurt so badly. He occupied Gabby and fixed dinner. Despite the broken down door he couldn't hear anything that was being said. He just prayed that Polly was making some headway. The boys seemed to sense Mike's mood and stayed pretty quiet throughout the meal, Grace tried to talk but eventually just stopped. She could tell how deeply wounded Mike was.

He gave both boys a bath and put Max in a pair of Matty's pajamas to make things a little easier for Polly. He knew she wouldn't stay the night because of how it would look. He also bathed Gabby and changed her into a sleeper that Polly had packed. He rocked her to sleep and put her in the portable crib in his room. Max and Gabby could stay with him, considering how late it was getting. Grace had even gone to bed. Max and Matty were sound asleep on Mike's bed. He stayed in the living room and prayed.

The first hour that Polly was in Hannah's room, Hannah never said a word. Polly didn't do a lot of talking either. It was more like a battle of wills. Hannah was one stubborn young woman. An attribute she got directly from her father. It was exhausting. Hannah stayed sitting at her window seat looking out and Polly had pulled her desk chair next to her.

"Hannah, I will stay right here all night. I'm not going anywhere."

"You might as well just give up. I can't take back anything that I said."

"Okay, good choice of words there. ' Can't' implies that you would if you could. If you had said 'won't' it would tell me that you didn't want to. So what would you take back?"

"All of it. I shouldn't have said it. But it's out there now. If he didn't hate me before, he will now."

"I think you're underestimating your dad and his capacity to love."

"Like I said, if he didn't hate me before. It would seem he did and was just putting an act on."

"I don't think so. I have no doubt that he loves you. Even now."

"It hurt that he threw himself over Grace and I was just kind of there. He has already told me that he favored Grace and Lucas over me and that's why he doesn't feel that he has a bond with me. It made it seem like he wanted me to get shot."

"No, sweetie, trust me on this one. If you had been where Grace was it would have been you that he was throwing himself over. He was moving on pure instinct. Grace was in the line of fire, you were not. Grace was the more natural target, you were not. He was working from many years of experience and his instincts as a cop and as a sailor took over. He also didn't leave you just sitting there; he kicked you further out of the bullet's path. What he didn't count on was that bullet ricocheting. If he moved you further to the right, we would be planning your funeral right now and he knows it. Believe me, he knows it."

"Okay, maybe but it doesn't take away what was said and besides, he didn't want me, he wanted a boy. He just got me first before he got his boys. It's why he doesn't feel there is a bond and maybe he's tried to build one the last couple weeks but is it an act to make him feel better or is it the real thing?"

"He wanted a baby and he got you. Biologically speaking, it's the father that chooses the gender of a baby. God knew what he needed when he needed it. He may have had his heart set on having a boy but I promise as soon as they put you in his arms, he loved you for you. He may have not bonded with you properly but I don't doubt that he loved you then or now."

"Well even if he loves me, there is no way he can forgive and forget what I said. I told him that I hated him."

"Do you?"

"No, but…"

"Then tell him that. He's hurt. Very hurt. And he may even be a bit angry with you. But I promise you, all he wants is you. He doesn't wish that you had died today and he doesn't wish it had been you that had died instead of Lucas. In a perfect world he wouldn't have died, but I promise if it had been you, he would have even been a bit worse off because he would have realized how bad his relationship with you was. He would have regretted everything."

"I just hope you're right."

"I know I am. The hurt maybe there for a while and he may be angry but that man…he adores you. You need to apologize and you need to tell him that you don't hate him, that you love him. As for the other stuff that you said, that's something you need to talk to him about. He is going to be addressing it, I'm sure. I am going to tell him to take a page out of your playbook. He needs to forgive you."

"He's said several times that I have a right to not forgive him. Wouldn't the same go for him?"

"See, there's the beauty of it, he's your dad. It's his job to love you unconditionally despite how badly he's been hurt. Forgiveness is natural and is honestly an obligation for him."

"Okay, I guess, I'm just not sure that he can."

"Don't underestimate him. Give me a few minutes and I'll send him in. I love you, sweetie."

"Love you too."

Polly kissed her on the forehead and left her sitting on the window seat. She suspected that Hannah was speaking out of emotion when she had said those things to her dad. She just hoped that Mike could get past the hurt and anger. When she walked back into the living room, he was sitting on the couch with his head in his hands. When he looked up at her, his eyes were red rimmed. It was going to be a long night. As she passed Mike's room, she had seen the boys sleeping on his bed and Gabby was in her portable crib. She suspected Grace was sleeping as well. She sit down next to him and pulled him to where his head rested on her shoulder.

"I can't say she didn't mean to say what she said. She meant it. But she regrets it. She is still pretty well convinced that you never wanted her and that's why you didn't bond. She can't take the words back but she definitely doesn't hate you. She is also convinced that you won't be able to forgive what she said. I told her it was the beauty of unconditional love. You would forgive her, and get past the pain and anger. Take a page out of her book. She's been pretty forgiving of you. Now it's your turn, you have to forgive her. I know you're hurting. But I also know there was some truth to what she said. Your relationship with her is as low as it can go. It's hit rock bottom. But you are both strong and you can build it into something beautiful. I hate to think it, but maybe this needed to happen. We all could have gone without her getting shot though."

"Forgiveness is easy. I've done it. But the hurt…I don't know how to get through that. As far as anger? I'm not angry at her. More myself. There may have been some truth to the bit about not wanting her at first, but once I had her…I love her. It's just disgusting to even admit it the disappointment"

"Let me ask you this, you may have been disappointed at first but when did that go away? I told her that as soon as you held her, you loved her. I also gave her a bit of a science lesson that I'm going to remind you of. It's the father that decides the gender of the baby. God knew what you needed and so you shot a pink, so to speak."

"I hope you didn't phrase it like that to her? And yeah, I know it was me that choose the gender. As far as the disappointment? As soon as they handed her to me. She immediately grasped my finger, you know how babies do? She had me pretty well wrapped even then."

"No, I didn't say it that way to her. And I would say that you need to tell her that story. I would say, despite how you feel, the bond was built in that moment. How long did you stay like that?"

"They were cleaning Christine up, finishing up the delivery. So probably five or ten minutes. The nurse took her after that to do measurements and clean her up."

"I would say in that five or ten minutes, you built a bond. If you were that disappointed you would have handed her off to the nurse, but instead you held her."

"I suppose so. I remember thinking how beautiful she was. She was the most alert newborn I've ever seen. Taking everything in, barely crying. The entire time, she held my finger."

"And I bet at that point you weren't even thinking about wishing you had a boy?"

"It never entered my thoughts. I was focused on her and Christine obviously."

"I would hope you would be. Who fed her, changed her diaper, and burped her while you were at the hospital?"

"Christine breastfed so she did the feeding obviously. But I did burp her, changed her diaper, and rocked her to sleep. I wanted to do that stuff so Christine could get healed up."

"Good husband. Good dad. Mike, you may feel there is no bond, but it's there, it's just under a lot of deployments, missed moments, hurt feelings…but it's there and it's a strong one. She wouldn't have been so hurt by the stuff you've said and you wouldn't have been so hurt this evening. Now, can you help me carry the kids out to my vehicle? It's not appropriate for me to stay this late and I need to get them home. Let Grace do her own thing tomorrow and I will watch Matty. You need to take the day and spend with Hannah. Go visit Jeremy and go to that place in the mall, take her out for dinner. Whatever you all want."

"I love you. Let's get the kids situated."

"I love you more. If you can get Max, I'll get Gabby."

They stood up and he pulled her into a hug and gave her a big kiss. It had gotten pretty heated but she finally pulled away. They were both slightly breathless. It made him wish the next week would go by faster.

"One week, Mike. Remember a week from tomorrow. It'll go by so fast."

"No, it'll drag by. I think we did forget out appointment with Pastor John though?"

"I forgot to tell you, it's rescheduled for Monday."

"Okay, good. Let's go get those kids."

Mike carried the still sleeping Max out to Polly's SUV, Gabby had woke slightly and was grumping at her mom. He helped her get both kids situated and went back in to get Polly's purse and the diaper bag. Mike decided to just leave Matty in his bed. It was easier than arguing with him. Besides, he wasn't sure how long it would be with Hannah. He was definitely nervous about the talk with her.

He grabbed them both a bottle of water, locked the house up, shut the lights off, checked on the puppies and nervously headed for her bedroom. He would fix the door the next day. She was sitting on her window seat looking out into the darkness with her knees tucked up to her chest. Mike had no idea how to even start. He just knew he needed to say something then he remembered what she had done when he admitted to having no real bond to her, she'd simply hugged him. It was beautiful.

"Come here, Sissy." Hannah stood up and walked towards him. She wouldn't look at him in the eyes and her body language was telling him how nervous she was. As soon as she was toe to toe with him, he wrapped her into a big hug and hung on. He could tell she was crying, and he was also crying.


	51. Chapter 51

**Five Years Later**

Chapter 51

They stood like that for at least a half hour. Mike eventually stopped crying but Hannah hadn't stopped. Neither of them said a word. He didn't know what to say and she was completely overwrought. She finally pulled away but only because she had made herself sick. Mike pulled her hair out of the way and rubbed her back while she vomited into her desk trash can. Mike was getting worried about her and she more or less slumped against his legs when she finally finished dry heaving. She was exhausted.

"I'm taking this trash can to the bathroom and I'll be right back. Don't move."

She nodded at him, sit on the floor next to her bed and pulled her knees up to her chest. He emptied the trash can, ran water in it to keep it from smelling and grabbed a wet wash cloth. Once he got back to the bedroom, he grabbed one of the water bottles and sit down facing her. He pulled her knees away from her face and gently started washing it. After he finished he handed her the bottle of water. She took a big gulp of it and handed it back to him. She was shaking so badly that she couldn't even put the cap back on.

"Calm down, Hannah. You're going to hurt yourself. I don't want that, despite whatever you might think." She nodded at him and took some deep breaths. He took both of her hands in his, squeezing. He didn't know what else to do. He knew he needed to talk it out but for the first time in his life, he was at a loss. He kept ahold of her hands which were tiny in his own. Mike finally leaned forward and kissed her on the forehead. It seemed to have broken a dam with Hannah, almost like she couldn't understand why he was comforting her after what she had said and done.

"I am so, so, sorry, Daddy. I don't deserve this, any of this. Why are you doing this?

"Because I love you. Simply put, I love you. It's not an act or a lie. As far as not deserving it? You do."

"I was horrible to you."

"Yes, you were. And it hurt. It hurt badly. But I still love you. Nothing you can say or do will change it."

"How do I fix it? Or can I?"

"Hannah, I'm not sure there is any fixing this. I'm not mad, I am hurt. I don't know how to move forward from this. But I do know without a shadow of a doubt, we have to. I deserve that and so do you. I could lie and tell you that I'm fine, but you need to know, I'm not. What you said, it ripped my heart out and then you stomped on it. But despite that, I have already forgiven you and I do love you. I want you in my life. I always have. From the moment you were born I have wanted you. I have screwed up in a lot of different ways where you're concerned but I never one time stopped loving you or wanting you."

"So what now?"

"We talk everything you said out."

"You want to rehash everything that I said?"

"I want to dispute it. And some of what you said was true, so I feel I need to explain that."

"Okay."

"You said that it would have been better if you died either in Grace's office or instead of Lucas. I wouldn't be better off. Losing Lucas was hard but he died knowing that I loved him. I have nothing but happy memories with him. If it had been you instead, I had never told you that I loved you, so you would have died thinking that I didn't. I do have some memories where you're concerned. One comes to mind, when you were born, the nurse handed you to me while they cleaned your mom up. You immediately grabbed my finger in those tiny hands and just watched every move I made. You stayed holding my finger for probably ten minutes. I remember thinking you were the most beautiful baby I had ever seen. Big, brown eyes, dark hair, those dimples. I was in love, still am. You barely cried. Just watched every move. I may have thought I wanted a boy before you were born but once I had you, a boy was the furthest thing from my mind. I will admit that I did seem to favor Grace and Lucas over you, you were right about that. And I lost out and so did you. For whatever reason, I denied myself memories with you. You were, still are, an amazing girl. I was there but yes, I did favor them over you. I don't have a good explanation for it. I won't even try to make one. But I did love you then. I will never, ever deny that I was a bad father where you are concerned. You deserved better and you still deserve that. I can't go back and change anything, I wish I could. You made a remark that your mom was the one that always wanted you? I can tell you that I wanted you too but I certainly gave you the impression that I didn't. It's definitely not true but I will admit I made it seem so. Measuring up? You aren't them. And they aren't you. None of you kids are a carbon copy of the next one and for that I'm grateful. Your heart is the most attractive thing about you. The way you love people, help them, stand up for them, advocate for them? I love that about you. So you're right, you don't measure up, you raise the bar. And it's not a contest. You each have your good points. And you each have your bad points. I love the good points and the bad points too. Any questions so far?"

"No, sir."

"And that's something else, I appreciate the respect you're showing, but I hate the sir thing where you're concerned. I spent the biggest maturity of my adult life being called sir and I don't want to hear my kids call me that. I am Dad or Daddy. And the admiral thing? Don't do that again. I am trying to distance myself from that. I prefer Daddy by the way."

"Okay."

"Now about yesterday since its well after midnight now, if you had been where Grace was sitting I would have slammed you into the floor. I kicked you out of the way I thought would be the trajectory of the bullet. In throwing myself over Grace, I made myself the target. What I didn't count on was that she would get more than one shot off or that it would ricochet off the filing cabinet. One inch to the right? I wouldn't be having this conversation right now because you would have died. I would have been destroyed if that happened. An inch to the left and we wouldn't be having this conversation because the bullet would have hit the wall. It was not out of favoritism or anything of the sort. It was pure instinct to throw myself over her. Like I said if you had been sitting where she was, I would have thrown you on the floor as well. And it you'd been closer I would have pushed you down too. I couldn't reach you so my next instinct was to get you completely out of the way and I could only do that by kicking the chair out of the way."

"Alright."

"You will not be living anywhere else, not with Grace or Maggie and Alec. I've spent too much time away from you kids and the last thing I want is to live separately then you, at least until you go to college. I want to fall asleep knowing that you and Matty are close by. I hate Grace moving out but I do know she needs to."

"Is that about it?"

"Yeah it's your turn to talk. Just know that I love you and always have. Always will. While I'm hurt, I have forgiven you and I am not mad at you. I told you I wasn't sure we could move past this and I don't think we can. But what we can do, is build from it. Polly told me that our relationship was at rock bottom. It can't get worse than this. So the only way now is up. And I want that. Some of the darkest skies are brightened by the most beautiful sunrises. None of what I've said as far as loving you is a lie. I love you. Now it's your turn."

"I don't really know how to start. I definitely don't hate you. I love you. And I am so, so, so, sorry for hurting you so badly. I wish I had an explanation for what I said. I don't, so I'm not even going to try and make an excuse."

"You have a good start, great one, in fact."

"I want to have a good relationship with you. I just don't know how to make it happen and I don't think you do either."

"I have no clear cut answers but I do want the same thing. Later today after we've both got some rest, Matty is going to stay with Polly and Grace can do whatever she wants. You and I are going to visit Jeremy like I promised him. After we get done, we are going to go to the mall and go to that place with the rock climbing and zip lining. I don't know what we can do there but we will definitely find something. I am looking forward to that. We'll eat out and I don't know what else. Whatever you and I want, I suppose."

"It sounds fun. I want to do that."

"Me too."

"So what now? I've apologized and told you that I love you. I can't take the words back. I wish I could. I also can't explain them. I see no sense in trying to make an excuse. I think that would only make you mad and would get us nowhere. I just don't know where to go from here. I just know that I want to."

"Stand up."

"Um. Okay." Mike helped her to her feet and as soon as she was in a full standing position, he pulled her into another hug. He finally pulled away but kissed her on the forehead first. It was almost two am and they were both completely exhausted.

"We start there. We hug. We know that we love each other. We accept the apologies and we move on. I will not dwell on what you said and I am going to ask that even though I was a terrible father to you and I don't deserve it, you forgive me. You deserve it and so do I. You have to know that while it might have seemed that I was playing favorites, I always loved you."

"Okay. I do love you and I am sorry…"

"Leave the sorry off. You've said it and I know that you meant it. Your apology has been accepted and I want to move away from all this. Hearing you say that you love me does help the hurt a lot. Now, I think we both need to get some rest. I have one request and it's an odd one. Matty is already sleeping on my bed. I want you to change into your pajamas and I want you to sleep in there with us. You can even use me as a pillow."

"I would like that."

"Okay, good. I love you. And I don't want to go back over any of this. Ever. And I also don't want you to feel bad either. Part of it was my own fault. Now get those pajamas on while I get Matty squared away. Come in when you're ready."

He hugged and kissed her again. She kissed him on the cheek and nodded at him. He headed to his own room, changing into a pair of pajama pants and a t-shirt. Matty was dead center in the bed so he scooted him over. Hannah came in then and Mike put himself in the middle. Matty instinctively got closed to Mike and laid his head on his shoulder. Hannah shut the lights off after going to the bathroom and climbed in on Mike's other side. She laid her head on his chest and almost immediately fell asleep.

It took Mike a little while to get to sleep, he was concentrating on Hannah. He had told her that what she said had hurt, and it did. He didn't think at first the hurt would ever go away but it already was. He was ready for a new day. He kissed both kids on the top of the head and fell asleep.


	52. Chapter 52

**Five Years Later**

Chapter 52

Mike woke up about eight thirty but both kids were sound asleep on his chest so he decided to just stay put. Matty and Max had a break that week and the next week in their ballgames thankfully. Grace was moving around and at some point he heard Polly, Max and Gabby come in. He couldn't hear any of the conversation between them but about five minutes later Polly came in. He gestured for her to sit down. He hated the idea of waking the kids up but he did want to get his day with Hannah started.

"Where are the kids?"

"Grace has them. You're kind of stuck here. How are things?"

"It was a rough night. Not one I want to ever repeat. I do think we will be okay though."

"How's the hurt?"

"I didn't think I would get past that but hearing her say she loved me? That was enough."

"I figured it would be. Now I am going to ask you to do something that you will think is impossible, forget what she said. If you don't it will always hang in the air between you and her."

"I told her that I didn't want to ever discuss it again. And I'm working on the forgetting."

"That's a start. It's a new day. Let me get Matty woke up while you wake her up. She's pretty well burrowed in. How exactly did you end up with the two of them?"

"I didn't want to move Matty. He's having a tough time with not sleeping in my bed and honestly I am a little bit too. As far as Hannah, I asked her to. I just wanted her close. Not sure exactly why but I did."

"Because you love her. And despite the hurt and the pain that she caused you, you need her. And she needs you. She needs to know that despite everything you love her this much. Having her sleep in here, was probably a very good idea. Remember in the hospital when they have the baby lay on your chest? Usually it's skin to skin contact. It's more important with the mother but they like it to happen with the father too. It's a way of bonding the baby to the parent. They can hear your heart beat. It's an important developmental thing. Hannah had that, Matty didn't. It may be why he's having such a tough time right now with the not sleeping in your bed. When he sleeps in here, does he sleep this close?"

"Yeah, pretty much every time. Hannah did get it, but probably not as much with me as she could have. Christine was always a bit of a baby hog."

"Most moms are. As far as Matty is concerned, he's developing the bond with you that he didn't get when he was a baby. And you need that as badly as he does. I would say, stop fighting him so much. I understand it. We make a rule once we get married that if the door is closed, he knocks and waits until one of us comes to the door. If the door is open he can come in. We make the same rule for Max. He's having trouble too but it's because he's spoiled a bit. I think with them sharing a room it won't be too big of a problem, but Matty has to know that he can still seek you out for comfort when he needs it. Also make a point to cuddle anytime he wants to. Trust me, there will come a time he won't and you don't want to miss the opportunities."

"I had thought I had just spoiled him. Not that it was the bonding process. I guess it makes sense now. I definitely want that bond. We will need to lock that door too. I don't want any incidents."

"Agreed. That would be awkward. Part of having kids. Now let's get these two awake. What are your plans for the day?"

"Visiting Jeremy and going to the place in the mall. I also need to buy her a new chain for her locket. Beyond that, I don't know. I really don't know her that well."

"Well it's time you learned."

"Yep, agreed. Matty, son? Wake up. Polly is going to take you for the day. You and Max are gonna have a fun day." Matty raised his head and looked at Mike with half open eyes. The poor kid would never be a morning person. Mike leaned forward and kissed him on the cheek. Matty wrapped both arms around Mike's neck and nestled back into his shoulder. Both Mike and Polly started laughing at him. Hannah was still sound asleep but Mike eased his arm from around her and started tickling Matty. It woke him up quickly and he was giggling. Somehow Hannah had slept through all of it even though she had started moving around a bit. Polly got Matty up and headed him to the bathroom.

"Sissy, it's time to wake up. Do I need to tickle you like I just did Matty?" Hannah made a groaning sound and did the exact same thing Matty had done. She hugged Mike around the neck and cuddled in that much closer. Mike was completely stuck. Polly happened to cross by and he called her name because he needed help. She walked back in and burst out laughing.

"Big, tough Navy guy. Ex cop. And your daughter has you stuck here. It's really cute, sweet too. Not sure I want to help you."

"Then I'll be here for a while. She's sound asleep and I figured you wanted a good morning kiss. But since you won't help, I guess not."

"I do want that kiss."

"Oh, you guys are killin' me. I'm awake!" Hannah slowly sit up with her hand on her stomach. She seemed to be in a bit of pain which automatically worried Mike. Polly had also caught it and shared a look with Mike.

"You feeling okay, Hannah?"

"Yeah, I think I pulled a muscle or something last night when I was throwing up. It's not bad, just hurt when I sit up. I still want to go to that place in the mall though, Daddy."

"We'll go but I do think rock climbing is out for the both of us. I don't think my shoulder would handle it. Zip line and possibly the obstacle course. They also have bumper cars. That seems like fun. What else do you want to do?"

"I honestly don't know."

"We'll find something, I'm sure. Go get ready. I've got to shower and shave since you all don't seem to want me to grow a beard." Polly got up and headed into the living room with Grace and the kids after giving both of them a kiss. Hannah seemed a little unsettled about something.

"Daddy, I know you said you don't want to continuously talk about what I said, but are we going to be okay?"

"I don't want to talk about it anymore. As far as being okay, we'll get there. Part of getting there is doing what we are doing today. Now, I really am done talking about this. I don't want to continuously pull the band aid off the wound. It's not healthy for either of us. I love you and I do want this time with you."

"I love you too. I truly regret it, Daddy."

"I know. And there are lots of stuff I regret too. Now go get ready. I want to get this day started. They did tell me at the mall the other day to wear comfortable clothes."

They both got up and Mike hugged and kissed her before they parted ways. He got showered and shaved and visited with Polly and the kids. Grace was getting ready to go. She and Ryan were going to visit one of his buddies and wouldn't be back until late. She hugged and kissed Mike and promised to text when she got where she was going and when they got headed home. She gave both boys high fives and hugged Polly. Once she headed out, Polly started laughing.

"What?"

"You are so overprotective! You realize that she's nineteen and doesn't have to text you right?"

"Yeah, I know but I would prefer she did and she knows that. She likes to keep her dad happy."

"Just remember her age and the fact that she is a very mature nineteen year old."

"Duly noted."

"I'd better get going. Boys, give your dad a hug."

Both boys ran up to Mike and he hugged them both. He was planning on spending the next afternoon with Matty. He felt the little boy needed it. He needed it too. Matty's innocence and love was cathartic. Gabby practically jumped into his arms and he kissed her which immediately got his nose pulled. Hannah finally came out but she seemed to be having some issue.

"Polly, can you help me with my hair? Everything I tried to do pulled at the stitches and it hurts. I want to wear it up somehow.

"Of course. Let me see your hair brush and ponytail holder." Within about five minutes, Polly had Hannah's hair pulled into a loose braid. It covered the stitches but wasn't so tight that it would pull at the stitches. The wound was about three inches long and had been deep. Alec had told Mike that an inch either way would have made a drastic difference, but it was honestly more like an eighth of an inch. Mike busied himself with Gabby to hide the rush of emotion that he was feeling. He had been so occupied with the hurt and the anger where Hannah was concerned, that he hadn't given too much thought to that he had very nearly lost her. It made him picture his life without her in it and it was not something he wanted to think about. It make him feel badly about how firm he had been with her. He helped Polly get the kids situated in her SUV and Polly must have been picking up a vibe from Mike.

"You okay? Still thinking about what Hannah said yesterday?"

"Thinking about Hannah, yes. Not what she said. The fact that she was essentially shot in the head and I was so rough on her. Should have been gentler."

"You probably could have been but she got the message that she had hurt you. She needed two things made crystal clear to her, one is that you love her and the second was that despite the hurt she caused you, you love her. Given the way she was this morning, you were successful."

"I suppose. I guess I just realized how close I came to losing my daughter. I obviously knew that she had been shot but I guess the quarter didn't drop until you were braiding her hair. That bullet literally skidded along her skull. What kept it from going through the skull and hitting her brain?"

"My answer is God. I'm sure you have a different one but He knew you had unfinished business and it was in His plan that it be finished. I think He has been giving you wake up calls since you moved here. Grace's rape, Hannah's accident and having gotten shot? The deal with Sarah Gibson and Daniel? The list can go on."

"I'm wide awake. He can stop at any point."

"Only if it's His plan. I better get these boys back to my house. I have a wild day planned with them, provided of course, if Gabby takes her nap like a good girl."

"Tell her Dada told her to take a nap. If she doesn't, she'll miss out on extra cuddling tonight."

"Knowing her that might work. You're her favorite. Well second favorite, Hannah has won that role. Maybe I should tell her Sissy said to?"

"Whatever works. I'll get Hannah to go along with it."

"We'd better get going. Enjoy your day with your girl. Watch the shoulder. I want it in good shape a week from tonight. I love you."

"I love you too and that is why I'm taking it easy. No rock climbing."

They kissed, Mike waved at both boys who were watching a DVD on the mobile DVD player Polly had and paid little attention to him. Gabby was enthralled with her socks and didn't notice him at all. He told Polly to be careful and kissed again. By the time he got back in the house, Hannah was ready to go. He was beyond ready to start his day with her.


	53. Chapter 53

**Five Years Later**

Chapter 53

It was one of the best days Mike had had in a long time. After visiting with Jeremy, they headed to the mall. He and Hannah both went through the obstacle course and despite they were both adhering to the no teasing rule; it brought out their competitive natures. Once they both got back to full health, they had decided that they would be trying the rock climbing wall just to see who could get to the top fastest. Mike had experience on his side, and Hannah had energy and a small stature. Bumper cars made Mike realize that he was not going to have much fun teaching Hannah to drive in a year or two. She was a horrible driver. They also played several arcade games. Hannah somehow got Mike talked into going through a photo booth too. Considering the total lack of pictures that he had with Hannah, they were some of his favorites.

He did think to bring her locket with him and was able to find a chain to replace the broken one. She had gone to find a bathroom while he was making the purchase and so he decided to wait to give it back to her. They did a little window shopping and bought Grace's birthday present, a perfume that she absolutely loved but would not buy for herself. They were both starving by the time they got done.

"So I promised to feed you, where do you want to go?"

"Anything I want?"

"Yep. So what? Sushi? Some fancy health food?"

"Barbeque. I want barbeque."

"Girl after my own heart. Seriously though, it's my favorite but that doesn't mean you have to eat it on my account. I told you I would take you anywhere."

"I know, Daddy. I want barbeque. Specifically pulled pork and maybe brisket. I haven't decided."

"Brisket, pulled pork, ribs…all sounds good to me. I haven't had barbeque in years. Since the last time you're mom took me."

"You lived in St. Louis for how long and you never went for barbeque? There are some good places up there."

"I was deployed a lot but when I was there it never felt right. It was not your mom's favorite but it was something we did together."

"You'll be okay to eat barbeque with me?"

"You bet I will. Perfect barbeque date. I found a place. About a mile from here."

"Let's go."

"Now remember, these places aren't generally fancy dining."

"Yeah definitely not my thing. It was either barbeque or pancakes."

"Barbeque is good. Pancakes maybe next time."

The place he found was totally appropriate for him to be in. His fourteen year old…not so much. Not well lit, loud music, a bar. He was regretting his decision but the food was delicious. Despite his poor judgement in regards to his choice in restaurants, it was a fun time and he loved it. He wouldn't be bringing her back to that particular place but the time with her was valuable. The place also had a dancing floor and somehow she roped him into "teaching" her to dance. He could dance but she had two left feet.

Their day was coming to an end but Mike was trying to come up with ways to extend it. They went to a pet store to pick up toys for the puppies and did get her some new clothes at a nearby clothing store. She was wearing down quickly and Mike hated it. He wanted more time with her.

She fell asleep in the truck which made the ride seem longer. He hadn't thought about what she had said the day before at all. But he had thought about how close he had gotten to losing her. It made him regret how firm he had been with her. He felt horribly about it.

They got to Polly's in the late afternoon. The boys both ran up to Mike wanting hugs. Gabby saw Hannah and immediately started waving her arms and smiling at her. Grace had texted him that she and Ryan were headed home and would be back by about nine. Hannah laid down on Polly's couch to nap and the boys were playing in Max's room. Gabby was in her bouncy seat on the kitchen island playing with a toy.

"So you had a good day?"

"It was great. I didn't want it to end."

"I was thinking, we both take a day out with the kids separately once a month. Even Grace. You'll want the time with her too especially when she moves out. When I went to the store I bought a dry erase calendar. With five kids we will need to have it scheduled out. Gabby won't really need a day out but the other four will. It may not be a full day. May just be dinner, a movie, or an activity. Depends. Grace is a little complicated because it sounds like her time is going to be filled. She's enjoying the fact that she has some freedom now. I know you and she have planned a lunch or two a week and we would all eat dinner as a family once a week. I put that on Sunday evenings. What do you think?"

"Sounds good to me. And it's the kid's choice?"

"Mostly, yes."

"Okay, well we have baseball games on Saturday. Church on Sundays. Grace has class four nights a week and on Friday evenings and Saturday she is working at Maggie's. She has an art class on Saturday nights, is that something you want to do with her?"

"Yeah, I would. I'm not the artist she is but it sounds fun and we will do dinner."

"Okay. She and I have decided to do breakfast or lunch on Mondays and Thursdays."

"Got it."

"I signed Matty up for swim lessons, it's on Thursday nights. Does Max know how to swim? I refuse to not be there when Matty learns. It's an eighteen year old teaching them and I am not completely comfortable with it. I don't have access to a pool or I would just teach him myself."

"Max knows. So that's Thursday night for Matty and you. He mentioned wanting to take karate class and it's something I'm interested in. It's Monday night at six. Max isn't interested in it. We need to block Wednesday night and Sunday morning for church."

"Okay, you know I can teach self -defense right?"

"Yep, I know. It's just what he wants to do."

"Alright now, Max. I'm not counting the baseball so I need something with him. What are you doing?"

"He likes to go to scouts. That's Tuesday night and I will go with him. He has a thing for movies and the local theater does a kid's matinee on Saturday afternoons from one to three. Maybe take him for ice cream after?"

"Sounds good. Hannah is the wild card."

"She likes girly stuff. Manicures and/or pedicures on Friday evenings with me. Leaves Sunday afternoons for her and you."

"What time is dinner?"

"Six."

"Okay, we get out of church and she has from noon until four or five."

"Yep. I would almost guarantee she will want to see Jeremy during her time."

"Okay. Provided there are not any major issues, we should be good. You said once a month and it's once a week."

"Yeah, won't hurt anything."

"I would like to make a point for you and I have to have a date night at least once a month. No kids."

"Does it have to be nighttime?"

"Not necessarily but we have to find a babysitter for Gabby."

"Maggie has decided to take a day off during the week and has already said she wanted to keep Gabby that day. She's going for Tuesday's because it's a slow day at the restaurant. We can take a date day that day. What will that consist of?"

"Lunch out. Whatever we want to do. Private Mommy and Daddy time. Can you get Tuesdays off?"

"Oh yeah. Private Mommy and Daddy time? What's that consist of? Am I walking into deep waters?"

"Well it's not something that we've done yet but will, or I hope, we will next Saturday night."

"I knew what you meant; I was just curious how you would explain it."

"I figured."

"The only thing I have to say about that, is that it won't be the only 'private mommy and daddy time' we have during the week."

"I hope not. But it will be without the concern of a kid walking in on us."

"You have big plans. How do you know that you will even like 'private mommy and daddy time' with me?"

"With all this build up? I'll love it. I have no doubts. Are you worried about something?" They were talking quietly so that the kids didn't overhear them.

"It's just that most men have a type. I've seen pictures of Christine. She was tiny. I'm not. I still have stretch marks, and baby weight. I may not be your type and because of the rules that I've set, you and I will be married before you figure out that our private time may not be something you will enjoy."

"When I ask this, I am not suggesting this because I know you have religious reasons for not having sex before marriage. If you could ensure that I will like that time by having sex before we got married would you?"

"No. It's something I feel strongly about."

"Alright. As far as the stretch marks and baby weight, don't forget that Christine and I had four kids so we obviously had sex after she had Grace. I remember her worrying about the same things and for the first two years after, she never would let me take her nightgown off. And it got worse after she had Hannah and Lucas. She was not confident. I thought her body was even more beautiful. She had given birth to my children. Nursed them. To me there was nothing more beautiful. You've done the same with Max and Gabby. Biologically, they aren't mine. But I love them exactly the same as I do my own biological children. Yeah, Christine had a small stature. And it worried me at times. I didn't fall in love with her body type and I didn't fall in love with yours. I fell in love with you because of your heart, your personality. As far as your body is concerned, what little bit I've seen, makes me want to see more. This week is going to go by ridicously slow. But our wedding night is not all that I'm anticipating. It's being married and having someone to talk to twenty four hours a day. Having someone to talk to and laugh with and cry with. That is what I am really anticipating. The sex is an added bonus that has mutual benefits for the both of us."

"You are being very profound tonight."

"Don't get used to it. It'll be rare. Seriously, Polly, don't worry about it. I am not perfect either. I have plenty of scars and I'm not twenty anymore. My days of having a six pack are long gone. I like food too much."

"You kidding me? I've seen you without a shirt. Trust me; I didn't mind massaging your shoulder that day. I am going to have a rule for when we get married and are having 'private time', no shirt. And I do plan on using you as a pillow."

"If I had a choice I wouldn't wear a shirt to bed at all. But I also didn't want to explain the scars to Matty. I was afraid it would scare him."

"Makes sense. Had the girls seen you without a shirt before everything?"

"Yeah, plenty of times. But I didn't have that many scars then either."

"He's young enough; he may not understand what they are. They are a part of you. Hannah didn't mention them the other day when she saw you without a shirt. She apparently didn't notice them."

"I hadn't thought of that."

"Mike, the girls both have some pretty nasty scars now. You aren't the lone wolf. Although we won't be seeing most of theirs."

"They have almost identical scars on their heads. Only difference is Grace's hair is still growing back. Hannah still has her's."

"It's kind of odd really. How are you doing with what was said yesterday?"

"I'm fine with what was said, the hurt is gone. Taking her and spending time with her was just what I needed. I am still struggling a bit with how close I've come to losing her and what I said to her last night. I was really firm. I'm not regretting what I said but I'm not sure how to explain it. I just know I feel horribly about it. In the times before this when it's just been her and I, I've been bored. Today I was trying to find something to do to make the day last longer. I do know I need to be a bit more selective in my choice of restaurants."

"Mike, please tell me you didn't take your fourteen year old daughter to a strip club?"

"NO! She wanted barbeque. I just did an internet search on my phone and the place I came up with had a bar without realizing it. The music wasn't bad but it was definitely a bar setting. Even had a dance floor. She seemed to love it. The food was absolutely delicious though."

"That is funny. Odd that she choose barbeque?"

"Yeah she said that's what she wanted. Or pancakes. It was the first time in years that I had had barbeque. She seemed to really enjoy it."

"Was it for your benefit or was it her?"

"That's debatable. I'm not sure. I did tell her we didn't have to eat where I liked but she was adamant. I do know, I enjoyed it. She even talked me into teaching her how to dance."

"I bet that was fun. You dance?"

"I can. She has two left feet."

"But you gave her a fun memory. Focus on that."

"It was fun. I have bruises on my feet. But it was a blast."

"Alright, supper is about done. Can you get her woke up and the boys washed up?"

"Yep. Hey, I love you." He bent over and kissed her.

"I love you too. Gabby, let's get you to your high chair. You've had enough time in your bouncy seat."

Mike walked in and got the boys headed for the bathroom to wash their hands and faces. It took all of about a minute. He was thankful they played so well together. It made things easier. They helped Polly "set" the table. Hannah was completely out. He almost hated waking her up. He knelt down next to her and brushed her hair out of her face and kissed her on the forehead.

"Sissy, time to wake up. It's suppertime."

"Uh. Do I have to?"

"If you're hungry, it's a good idea." Hannah seemed to be contemplating her options and laid there for a minute. She didn't do well when she first woke up. He needed to get up and help Polly but he also was fixated on the scar on the side of her head. She hadn't complained of any pain from it but she may not have felt comfortable with everything that had been said the day before.

"Hey, I was going to ask you, is your head hurting?"

"A little. But I didn't want to complain. I've caused enough problems lately."

"Sis, I don't want you in pain. If you're hurting I need you to tell me. There isn't a lot I can do but I do want to know about it."

"Okay. I just didn't figure it would matter because of what I said."

"Oh, sweetie. It matters. I was a little hard on you last night and I shouldn't have been. I was upset with you but I would never, ever want you in pain."

"I deserved it."

"The pain or how rough I was?"

"Both." She had sit up and Mike sit down beside her. He and Polly exchanged a look and she was stalling supper. He didn't want to stop the conversation. He put his arm around Hannah and pulled her to where she had her head on his chest.

"Sweetie, I love you. I should have been a bit easier on you last night. I wanted to get the point across that you had hurt me but in turn I hurt you by how rough I was in telling you. I would never, ever wish you pain. Ever. No matter how badly I was hurt. Now is there something I can do to help you with the physical pain?"

"I love you too. My head just hurts a bit. I am hungry."

"Okay. Just remember I don't want you in pain. I am sorry for how I treated you last night. I do have something for you. It's not new. I just fixed it." He pulled the necklace box out of his pocket and took the locket out. He hooked the necklace around her neck and he could tell she was happy. He kissed her on the side of head and held her for a minute like that.

"I thought it got lost and I was afraid to ask about it. I guess you caught it?"

"I did. You ready to eat? Max and Matty are about to have a food fight if we don't."

"Yeah, I am hungry. Thanks, Daddy. I love you."

"I love you too, sweetie."

They sit down for dinner, the blessing was said and food was passed around. Max sit next to Polly and Matty next to Mike so that they had an adult to help them with their food. Gabby was in her high chair between Mike and Polly and Hannah were between the boys. Hannah told Polly about the barbeque place and told her that she wanted to go back which made Mike rub his face with his hands. She was excited for Jeremy's awards ceremony Monday. She still didn't have a clue that she would also be receiving an award.

He helped Polly get supper cleaned up while Hannah played with the baby. The boys were playing in Max's room. Grace had texted that she and Ryan were stopping for supper and would be home later. She had mentioned moving out now that the investigation was complete that morning. He was dreading it but he knew she needed it. He had a meeting with Alec Tuesday to go over the investigation and they would check Grace's apartment over. There was a strong possibility she would be moved back in by the weekend.

He got the kids home about eight and gave Matty his bath. Hannah was working on homework in her room and it gave him some one on one time with Matty. He read to him and Matty went to sleep on his chest. He enjoyed it. He hadn't thought about it being Matty's way of bonding. It was something he wanted desperately. Grace got home at all most ten and helped Mike get Matty settled in his own bed. She was tired and gave Mike a hug and kiss and headed to bed. Hannah had fallen asleep at her desk and he got her woke up and headed to bed. It had been an exhausting but fun day and one he wanted to repeat.


	54. Chapter 54

**Five Years Later**

Chapter 54

Hannah looked at Mike a bit suspiciously when he was come out wearing his suit and Medal of Honor pin. She was wearing the dress and shoes that he and Polly had gotten for her and looked adorable. Polly came in early to help her with her hair and make-up, even bringing her some new, lighter make up. It was more in keeping with what a fourteen year old should wear and Dad approved. Polly and Gabby were also dressed up and Ryan came in wearing his dress uniform. She thought it was all for Jeremy. Grace took the boys to school and agreed to pick them up if things ran late. Tom had texted that he and the President were en route and would be there at ten am on the dot. There would be no media there thankfully.

Hannah was focusing on Jeremy and communicating with him. As soon as President Oliver and Tom walked in, she stood up and Jeremy tried to "stand" at attention. She interpreted for Jeremy so that he could be a part of the conversation. They were holding the ceremony up so Jeremy's Marine buddy, Trent Nelson and his wife and boys could get there. He'd worked the overnight shift and was moving slow.

When Trent and his family came in, Jeremy was practically shaking with excitement. They had been battle buddies and were just as close as brothers, much like Tom and Mike. The actual ceremony was fairly informal, with just Mike, Polly, Ryan, Hannah, Gabby, and the Nelson family, Tom, Peter and the President. There was also a photographer there that the President had brought. Jeremy had been made aware of Hannah being awarded too and wanted to be there.

The President called for Hannah and she looked at Mike suspiciously. She was just thrilled that Jeremy was getting the long overdue commendations and would have no financial concerns. Mike and Tom had followed her up. She seemed a little shocked by everything.

"Now, Hannah, I was told about everything that you've done for Jeremy. Bringing your dad here caught his attention and then Jeremy's situation was brought to my attention. Had it not been for what you did, this brave Marine would have died in poverty and without his proper commendations. We've all agreed that you also deserve to be commended too. This is called the 'Citizen's Medal of Honor.' I can't think of anyone more deserving of this. Jeremy got his Medal of Honor for saving lives and you are getting yours for helping him. I could and probably should be the one to place this around your neck, but I'm giving that honor to your very proud dad. Admiral Slattery?"

Mike couldn't have been prouder as he tied the ribbon around her neck and kissed the back of her head. She was in shock. He turned her around and gave her a massive bear hug. Several of the veteran's had filed into the day room to congratulate Hannah and Jeremy both. She had done a lot to help several of them and they had brought flowers, boxes of candy and several trinkets. She thanked all of them. Most of her attention went to interpreting for Jeremy so he was a part of all the conversations. She had given Polly the medal for safekeeping.

President Oliver had another appearance and left soon after. Trent and his family were going to stay and visit with Jeremy and the others. His wife knew some sign language so they didn't necessarily need Hannah to interpret. They said their goodbyes to everyone and met outside to discuss lunch options. Hannah wanted barbeque again but they found a restaurant online that was a bit more age appropriate for her. Tom made several cracks about Mike taking his daughter to a bar.

Lunch was light hearted. Gabby apparently had decided that she liked Tom. He was getting plenty of practice in holding her; he just refused to change her diaper. Hannah was still a bit shell shocked and stayed fairly quiet. She did tell Polly that her head was hurting a bit and she alerted Mike. Ryan was also wearing down and they cut their visit short. The ride home was quiet because both Hannah and Ryan fell asleep. Gabby always slept in the vehicle so it was nothing out of the ordinary.

After picking up his truck at Polly's and leaving them there, he dropped Ryan off with Maggie and picked the boys up. He took Max back to Polly and headed home. Hannah had fallen back asleep and seemed dazed when he woke her up. She went into her bedroom, changed clothes and fell back asleep on her bed.

Mike checked on her an hour later and covered her with a blanket. He laid the box with the medal on her dresser. The flowers, candy and trinkets were on the dining room table. He was immensely proud of her and was also very worried about her. She had told Polly that she didn't feel she deserved any of it. Matty was occupied playing with his building blocks and so he decided to write Hannah a note. It was how he felt he communicated best with her.

" _Hannah,_

 _I know you are a bit shocked by what all went on today. You don't feel that you deserve it? You helped Jeremy and judging by all the gifts on the dining table, several people. That makes you deserving in my eyes._

 _You have no idea how much of a gift you are to people, but most of all to me. You have been since the day you were born. I never deserved you but thank God every day that He saw fit to give you to me. I feel the same way about the other kids but I am especially thankful for you._

 _I have made a lot of mistakes where you're concerned. Too many to count and too many to be forgiven for but yet you do. That is why you were deserving of all this. I overstepped the other night when you and I were talking. I was hurt and felt I needed to communicate that to you. I ended up hurting you in the process. You may spend the rest of your life wondering if you and I are 'okay' because of how I treated you and some of the things I said. I regret that and I hate myself for it._

 _I very nearly lost you a couple different times in the past month. Saturday when Polly was braiding your hair I realized how close I came and I started imagining my life without you in it. I didn't like it. Not in the slightest. I've taken you for granted, not loved you the way you deserved to be loved, been downright mean to you at times, and you always loved me even when I didn't deserve the love._

 _I absolutely loved the time that I had with you Saturday. It is something that_ _will_ _be repeated. Except the bar. That won't be happening again! You do not have to want barbeque on my account. I just wanted to spend time with you and I want that again. I'll eat wherever you want to._

 _I am so, so, so sorry for how I treated you the other night. You deserved better than that._

 _I love you,_

 _Daddy"_

Mike took the note into Hannah's room and sit it on her dresser next to the Medal. She was sound asleep but had kicked her way out of the blanket. He tucked it back around her and headed back into the living room, sitting down to play with Matty. Grace wasn't due home for a little while and he would start supper in a little while. He wanted to spend a little time with Matty even if it was just building towers. He had noticed he was a little quiet.

"You okay with everything Matty? You're quiet."

"Yeah, I'm okay. I know when you and Polly get married, Max and me will share a room and I like that but I'm really gonna miss not being able to spend time with you." Mike pulled Matty onto his lap and wrapped his arms around him.

"You'll still be able to. I will still tuck you in and will stay with you until you go to sleep. And if you get sick or you're scared, you can stay with Polly and I. The door maybe closed but if you knock on it we will let you in. You just have to knock and wait on her or I. Same will go for Max. All you have to do is ask me for time with you and you'll have it. Matty, I love you very much and you and I are still getting to know each other. We need those times when you curl up on my lap or fall asleep in my arms. You need them and so do I. Polly knows it too and she won't get upset if you need me. I promise. I don't want you to ever hesitate to ask for me. It's important that you do. And there will be times that I will ask for you. When I need you. Okay?"

"Okay, Daddy. I love you too. I was just scared you wouldn't want me to give you hugs anymore."

"I will always want hugs. That won't ever change. As old as Grace is, I love it when she gives me a hug. Hannah too. It makes me really happy."

"Okay. But I'm a boy. You may not always want them."

"I bet I will. My dad didn't give me hugs and when Grace was born he made fun of me for giving her kisses. I didn't like it very much and I always wanted to make sure and give my own kids plenty of hugs and kisses. Even you boys. I gave lots of hugs and kisses to Lucas and I will with you and Max. I always wondered if my dad loved me and I refuse for you guys to wonder that."

"That's really sad, I'm sorry. I know you love me but I do really like it when you hug me. It makes me feel all warm and happy."

"You don't have anything to be sorry for. And it makes me feel warm and happy when you hug me too. I need to start supper but I would really love to have one of those hugs right now." Matty gave him a huge smile and threw his arms around Mike's neck and kissed his cheek. Mike held him for a couple minutes. It just felt good. He finally pulled away but gave Matty a kiss on the cheek. Somehow they started tickling one another. There were times that he would tickle Matty to just hear him laugh. It reminded him of Lucas' laugh. And his smile was identical to Christine's. He picked Matty up, carried him to the couch, laid him down and started blowing raspberries on Matty's cheek which really caused him to giggle.

"Alright, Matty, I really need to get supper going. Want to help?"

"Yeah! This was fun."

"Yep, it was. Mac and Cheese and chicken sound good?"

'Yeah! And the girls will want green stuff."

"Salad? Yeah, girls like that stuff. And it's good for all of us." Mike picked Matty up and carried him into the kitchen sitting him on the counter. Hannah came out looking slightly dazed but gave Mike a hug. He could tell she read his note but had also just woke up judging by her hair.

"I love you, Daddy, so, so much. Can we both just agree to move past Friday? What I said, what you said in response? I deserved what was said, but you didn't deserve what I said. That's why I didn't think I deserved that Medal today."

"You deserved it because of what you have done for Jeremy, that happened long before Friday. The plan was in place last week before everything. We can both move on but just know you didn't deserve some of the things that I said Friday night. As the adult and your dad, I should have known better. I was speaking out of a place of pain and hurt. Of the two of us, I deserved what was said more so. But I agree, we need to move away from it. I love you too, very much."

She nodded at him and he turned his attention back to supper. Matty was still sitting on the counter playing with the lettuce. He apparently thought it would make a good ball to play with. Hannah finally got it away from him to wash it while Mike was cooking, she would make the salad.

"Hey, Hannah, you know what Daddy told me?"

"What, Matty?"

"He said that when we give him hugs it makes him warm and happy inside."

"Did he now?"

"Yep. It means we need to give Daddy lots of hugs."

"I agree. But he's already plenty happy."

"He can always be more happier."

"Guys, I'm right here! I'll take all the hugs you both want to give. And I am plenty happy now but that doesn't mean I don't want hugs. I love your hugs and I love both of you!" Both Hannah and Matty looked at each other and Matty jumped into Mike's arms and Hannah wrapped both of them in a big hug. Grace walked into the middle of everything and Mike pulled her in. She was confused but accepting of the hug. Mike finally sit Matty down and pulled away from both girls after kissing both of them on the forehead.

"I'm kind of confused now?" Grace had sit down on one of the bar stools at the island.

"Daddy told me that when we give him hugs it makes him happy inside so me and Hannah were making sure he was happy. Thanks for helpin' us, Gracie! Daddy, can you lift me down so I can play with my blocks. I don't want to cook now." Mike laughed and lifted Matty down onto the floor, giving him another kiss before Matty ran off. Hannah had finished the salad and headed into the living room with Matty. Grace was fidgeting.

"What's going on with you?"

"I tried to walk into my apartment by myself. I couldn't. Will I ever be able to?"

"Oh, sweetie. You should have called. I would have gone with you."

"I need to be able to go by myself. I know you said that you all would stay with me the first night and you would check everything over before you left when I was there by myself but I need to be able to walk in by myself too."

"I understand. My offer stands, if you want to move into another apartment or house, I will help. Or if you need to stay here longer, I will love having you. You have more strength than anyone I know and I won't think less of you for needing something else."

"I can't explain it, I need to live there. I just can't figure out how to get past this."

"I don't know, sweetie. I wish I did. I will respect any decision you make. And I love having you here. I know you feel you need to move out to give Hannah and Matty a chance to properly bond with me but you are a part of my family and I don't want you sitting in that apartment scared."

"I know. It's more practical than that too. You'll need the bedroom for Gabby. Not that I mind sharing."

"We can figure something out. Seriously, I don't want you to not feel that you aren't a part of this family. Polly and I are working a schedule out to where we both spend some time with each of you guys. We already have our schedule worked out for you and I to have lunch twice a week and dinner as a family on Sunday nights. I know you'll have college classes and an actual life now but I do want you to feel you can ask for some more time if you feel you need it."

"Thanks, Daddy. I love you. I am looking forward to having time to myself but I am not going to like eating alone and being alone so much. I think maybe that's what I'm more scared of. You and Polly and the kids will be here every night, eating all your meals together and I will be at college classes and eating TV dinners because I don't want to cook for myself. Ryan is taking some classes too and so we won't see each other as much. It'll just be lonely; I think that's what worries me."

"Well you are more than welcome to come out here anytime you want to eat. Don't think it just has to be on Sundays. You are a part of this family, a very important part. We all love you and don't want you to be lonely. I love you the most though. Alec and I are meeting and going over the details of the investigation and will be checking your apartment over tomorrow. When you're ready, it'll be ready. Polly and I will be away Saturday night obviously but any night you want us there, we'll be there. If you want that?"

"Yeah, I still want to move back. I think I will feel better once you've gone back through the apartment. Can you put a deadbolt on that back entrance? It's how they got in. I know Alec feels bad about it."

"Yep. That is on the agenda for tomorrow. Also putting a chain on the front door. Anything else you can think of?"

"I think I may get some heavier blinds when I get my next paycheck. Can you put them up for me?"

"How about I get the blinds and you just pay me back? I don't really care if you do or not but I know you feel it's important."

"I really hate to ask that of you."

"Grace, you can pay me back if you want to. I don't care if you do or don't. Now that you've mentioned the blinds, I know you're nervous about them and I will make me worry. So let me go ahead and get them. I would guess you're taking Hannah's old room?"

"Yeah. That way I don't have to buy a new bed. I didn't figure she'll care. You can take Matty's old bed for Max. I won't need it."

"He may want to stay with you occasionally, besides Polly will have plenty of furniture to incorporate. I'm not worried. I just want to make sure that you have what you need there."

"Okay. I'm saving money for a laptop and printer for classes. And don't get any ideas, Dad!"

"Would I do that? You do have a birthday coming up."

"Yes, you do. And it's too extravagant of a gift. I didn't realize how expensive college was."

"Do you need help?"

"I'm good right now but if I make it through the summer classes and sign up for the regular semester, the books are crazy expensive. I don't want a lot of debt, mostly because I don't know what to I want to be when I grow up. I do need you to do something else preferably before I move back to the apartment?"

"If things were normal, I would be helping you with college textbooks so I can help you. You don't have to do it on your own. What do you need me to do?"

"You'd mentioned self-defense?"

"And you want a couple lessons before you move in?"

"Yeah, if you don't mind?"

"You got it. Ribs and arm okay? I don't want to hurt you."

"Yeah, twinges every now and then but mostly okay."

"Okay. One of the things I'll do is come at you from behind and I won't warn you. Just be prepared. It might scare you."

"Which is why I need you to do that. I'll know it's you and you won't really hurt me."

"I won't hurt you but I will probably not speak either. I will need to simulate your attack as far as how they got the upper hand. It won't be pleasant but it's something you need. And I will absolutely not hurt you."

"That's why I'm asking you. I know you won't."

"Alright. Well dinner is ready. Hannah, Matty?"

"Daddy, thank you. I love you."

"I love you too, sweetie. C'mon, guys."

Supper was a fun affair with Hannah telling about Mike accidently taking her to a bar. Matty didn't quite understand what was so funny about it. The girls cleaned supper up while Mike bathed Matty and got him geared down for bedtime. After reading, cuddling, hugs and kisses, Matty fell asleep. Both girls also headed to bed and Mike locked the house up and went to bed himself. It had been an exhausting day.


	55. Chapter 55

**Five Years Later**

Chapter 55

Mike hung up heavy wooden blinds in the living room and the bedroom that Grace would be using. He put a deadbolt on the back entrance, with keys for Grace, Alec and Maggie and himself. He installed the chain bolt on the front door. The windows were double checked. Alec came in with the black light and luminal. There was no more visible blood anywhere other than the grout stain that he had already covered with the area rug. They went back to the office to review the notes on the investigation.

Tamara and Sarah Gibson had been best friends. Once Mike arrested Sarah, it become clear that Sarah's long crime spree had came to an end. After she killed herself, Tamara's husband Jerry called her and Tamara told Daniel while she was working as a jailer. She hadn't anticipated Sarah leaving the note with all the victim's names. She blamed Mike, Grace and Hannah for Sarah killing herself. When she shot into Grace's office, it was simply because all three of them were together. She had every intention of killing all of them. She hadn't counted on Mike seeing her or Kirk tackling her. Her husband's only crime was telling Tamara that Sarah had committed suicide. With that, the investigation was finished and Grace could put the pieces of her life back together.

Mike took her to lunch at Maggie's with the dual purpose of walking her through her apartment. What made him feel terrible was that he planned on simulating the first part of her attack. Alec knew what he was going to do and had forewarned Maggie. Mike wasn't even sure he'd be able to do it but he would rather it be him. She trusted him completely. They were walking through the apartment and she was doing well. She had turned her back to him and it was the only opportunity he would have. He came up behind her and grabbed her around the neck. He was as gentle as possible and she was fighting back. She scraped her heel down his calf, elbowed him in the ribs and got loose of his arm around her neck. She had swung around to punch him and stopped mid-air. She had done well.

"You didn't tell me you were going to do that here?"

"I told you I was simulating the attack as much as I could. Part of that was being in the same place that your attack happened. Grace, you can be mad at me if you want but you did really well."

"I'm not mad. Just surprised. Did I hurt you?"

"I'm okay. Ready to get out of here now?"

"Yeah. That did me in. I know you were being gentle but you're really strong."

"You used my strength against me which is what you needed to do. I hope I didn't hurt you or scare you?"

"No. If it had been anyone else, maybe. Let's get out of here."

"You gonna be okay?"

"Yeah, I think so."

Mike nodded at her and handed her the keys to the new locks. Alec had also changed the lock to the front door. She looked around and nodded at him and headed for the door. Mike followed her out. He was immensely proud of her. She had reacted exactly how he wanted her to. His ribs were a little on the sore side but he was glad.

He took her back to her office and went to pick the boys and Hannah up. They were all going to meet out at Polly's that night. Pastor John was going to meet with them at Polly's to make things easier. He'd had to postpone the night before. Hannah agreed to watch the kids while Mike and Polly met with him. The boys stayed in Max's room playing and Hannah took Gabby to her bedroom to play.

The meeting with Pastor John went better than Mike figured. They spoke about Polly's anxiety of Mike becoming a cop again and his concerns of the meaning of submission. Polly had asked Mike to not say anything about her insecurities regarding her body and Mike being satisfied with her. They went over the plans for the ceremony. They both wanted it kept very short and sweet. The meeting was over soon enough that Mike and Polly ran into town to get the marriage license. Hannah had things well in hand. Grace and Ryan were going on a 'date.' After signing all the necessary paperwork and receiving the license, they decided to get a couple frozen pizzas so they didn't have to cook. They were both excited for the rest of the week to go by. As they were driving back to Polly's house, they started discussing how strange everything was.

"So, a month ago you and I didn't even know one another, and Saturday we'll be married. It's strange how quickly everything has happened." Polly was holding his hand on the console of the truck.

"Any doubts or second thoughts?"

"Nope. I have missed being married. Having someone to lay down next to every night, to laugh with and cry with, to share parenting responsibilities with, financial concerns, the whole bit. Even having to my husband's laundry."

"If I had realized that you missed doing a man's laundry, I would have brought some to you! But I do understand what you're saying."

"Plus you make me laugh a lot. That helps." They had pulled up to her house but stayed in the truck.

"You make me laugh too. This isn't where we start making out is it? That would be awkward considering four of our kids are inside, you live in a parsonage and the church is right there."

"How about just one kiss? I think we're both too old for 'making out'."

"I'm never too old…" Polly shook her head and pulled Mike into a kiss. It was sweet and made both of them laugh. They both got out of the truck and headed inside. She had texted Hannah to preheat the oven and the boys were playing on the living room floor while Gabby was in her bouncy seat. Hannah was working on her homework and needed help from Mike.

"Alright, Hannah, what is the radius?"

"Hang on, Daddy. You've got…lipstick on your cheek!" Hannah had wiped it off his cheek and started laughing hysterically. Polly was in Gabby's room changing her diaper and walked in midway through the laughter. It was just slightly embarrassing.

"Alright, Hannah, let's get back to work."

"I think it's cute."

"How do you know it's from Polly? You and Grace have both given me a kiss on that cheek today."

"That's not Grace's shade and I'm not wearing any. It's Polly's shade. Unless you have some other girl kissing on you?"

"Just Gabby. And those don't count as kisses. She just opens her mouth and licks me. It's gross."

"But yet you let her do it?"

"Well it's sweet and when you were a baby, your kisses were more sucking. It was awkward."

"Gross."

"Yes, I know. Now let's get back to this homework because this whole conversation is just weird."

"Okay. But it does prove something. You said you weren't that good of a dad to me, but you let me kiss you like that?"

"You have a point. But that doesn't make me a good dad. Just tolerant. Besides it was really cute when you did it. It was a little hard to say no."

"Mmm, if you say so."

"Okay, radius, Hannah?"

"Four point two feet."

"Correct. And the diameter?"

"Well radius is half so diameter is eight point four. Right?"

"Correct again. Good job. Let's get this stuff put up. I'll help you with it some more after supper, once we're at home."

Hannah nodded at him and took her books into the living room where her backpack was. He was getting dishes out when Polly stood up beside him and kissed him on the cheek.

"What's that for? Not that I mind."

"You just proved something to her."

"What? That I know how to do math?"

"No. You shared a very sweet memory with her. It proved that while you still don't think you were that good to her when she was Gabby's age, you at least would hold her and let her kiss on you. She needed that."

"It was always sweet. She was an adorable baby. And yeah, I held her. Did all the typical dad stuff. But I also left when she was only a couple weeks old and didn't come back until she was walking. About a year old."

"Well, it sounds like you were still bonded. Can you set the table?"

"Yes, ma'am."

They set the table and sit down and ate the pizza and salad. Matty and Max both tried to get out of eating the salad but both boys were scared of Polly's "mom voice." Frankly it scared Mike a bit too. Both boys and Mike ate every bite of their salad. Mike helped her clean up supper and get Gabby settled down. He was ready for them to all live under the same roof. After kissing them good night, he, Hannah and Matty headed for Mike's house. Grace was already there when they got there in her bedroom studying.

Matty begged Mike to sleep in his bed. He knew he should tell him no but he couldn't. He tucked Matty in and promised him he would be in before long. He locked the house up and shut lights off. Hannah had finished her math homework and was reading before bed. He kissed her goodnight and left her to herself. Grace was packing her clothes up which made his heart hurt just a bit.

"So when's the move?"

"Thursday night? And then I'll stay out here Saturday night while you and Polly are away."

"Okay. You'll be by yourself Friday night?"

"Yep, that's the plan. I told Alec, Maggie and Ryan but can you let Polly know too?"

"Yep. I can do that."

"You okay?"

"Just gonna miss having you around."

"I'll still come around."

"I know. I guess seeing you packing your stuff up made it more real."

"Daddy, this is normal. And someday Hannah will move out, then Matty and Max, Gabby?"

"Yep and I'll hate it then too."

"I love you, Daddy, but I need to do this. I will still come around and there will be times you'll get sick of me being here."

"Not a chance. Do you need any help?"

"No. I'm about to head to bed."

"Okay, goodnight. I love you too."

Mike checked on Hannah again and headed to bed. It had warmed up and so he just put his pajama pants on. He would explain the scars on his chest and stomach if need be. Matty sensed him getting in bed and curled himself around Mike. He kissed Matty's cheek and fell asleep. At some point through the night he felt Matty more or less climb onto his chest and wrap his arms around his neck. Mike wrapped his arms around him and kissed his cheek again.

Grace and Hannah woke up about the same time and found Mike and Matty asleep in each other's arms. It was so unbelievably sweet and Grace snapped a picture with her cellphone. She was putting a collage of photos together for Mike and it would be included. Hannah woke them up gently and helped Matty up.

He got the kids to school and Grace headed to work. Polly texted him needing help with Gabby. She and Maggie planned on going to the city to buy stuff for the wedding but Gabby was fussing. He immediately responded that he would look after her. He'd planned on a quiet day at home but Gabby didn't need to be in the wind. He pulled into Polly's and headed in. Maggie was already there trying to appease Gabby while Polly got ready.

"Look, Gabby, Daddy's here. You can stop fussing now."

"That's right, Gabby. I got you. Is it her ears again?"

"I think so. I wish they'd just put the tubes in. Aiden had to have them. He did a lot better after."

"Hannah did too. She was about fourteen months when they put them in."

"Didn't realize she had to have them."

"Yeah. I got home from deployment and she had had one ear infection after another for months. Christine was exhausted. Navy doctors don't always listen to the spouses. First appointment I was there for and the doctor immediately agreed to do the surgery. To my knowledge, Hannah hasn't had another ear infection since."

"It's not just Navy doctors. Sometimes doctors in general. They don't always listen to moms."

"Yeah, makes sense. Her doctor does seem pretty attentive. I do think he'll need to operate on her."

"Yeah. I'm gonna get Polly moving. It'll be nice to not have to worry about this little fuss budget."

"Enjoy your day. I got her."

Gabby had her head resting against his shoulder and was playing with the button on his shirt. She was drooling like crazy and seemed to want to suck on the button. He found her pacifier and that appeased her slightly. Maggie and Polly finally came out and helped him get Gabby settled in her car seat. He had a base for his truck already installed. Polly packed plenty of diapers, wipes, formula and food for Gabby to have for a year. He gave her his credit card with strict instructions to use it. She followed him out to help get Gabby settled in the truck.

"You okay, you seem quiet?"

"Yeah, Grace is moving out tomorrow night. I thought I was ready but it hurt to watch her packing her clothes up."

"She needs to do this. She's ready."

"Yeah I know. Just wish I could rewind time back to when she was Gabby's age. Back to when she was content to sleep on my chest all day long."

"Gabby maybe the perfect cure for you today since you're a little blue."

"I'm just wondering if it's going to be like this when they move out."

"Maybe not to this extent. She's the first. She's been through an absolutely horrific experience in the same place she's moving back into. It's natural for you to have some misgivings. Makes you a normal dad."

"I suppose. So don't hesitate to use that card and don't worry about Gabby. I think I'm gonna let her sleep on my chest all day and feel sorry for myself."

"Hang on, I have a gallon of chocolate ice cream in there that you can have. Always makes me feel better. I also have a box of Kleenex, nail polish and a DVD that's a chick flick. Gabby will love the ice cream."

"Haha, cute. Seriously, use the card. I'll get Max. Enjoy your time with your sister. I love you."

"I love you too. Have a good day feeling sorry for yourself." They kissed and then she reached in and kissed Gabby who was already nodding off. He waved at Maggie and drove off. He was looking forward to his day with Gabby. Maybe she would be able to put his mixed up emotions in concerns to Grace moving out in perspective.


	56. Chapter 56

**Five Years Later**

Chapter 56

Gabby was completely content to cuddle all day which didn't hurt Mike's feelings one bit. It didn't really help with his feelings where Grace was concerned. It made him wish he could go back in time and hold her that close again. It also made him regret the fact that he had rarely held Hannah like that. She had been the baby that loved to cuddle and he had rarely done it.

A little after two he packed Gabby up and headed into town to get the two boys. Polly had texted him that they would be home about five and would need to go straight to church for mid-week services. He agreed to just meet her there. It would be easier for her. He hung around town, waiting on Hannah. When he saw her walking toward the truck, he immediately noticed that she was holding her side.

"What happened? You're holding your side and you look like you're in pain? And you're knuckles? Were you in a fight?"

"Kind of."

"Hannah Elizabeth Slattery! You know better! Two weeks ago, you were in a car accident and your insides were in a mess. A punch to the stomach could be fatal!"

"Carly…"

"I don't care about Carly. I care about you. You should have showed better judgement."

"But she…"

"Hannah, I don't care."

"Obviously."

"What's that mean?"

"Daddy, can we go home? I need to go to the bathroom."

"Yeah, Max. Headed there now. Hannah, what did you mean?"

"Not like it matters."

"Young lady, when we get back home, you are to go to your bedroom. I will bring you dinner and I want you to think about your actions and what it could have caused."

"Yes, sir."

Mike rolled his eyes and the rest of the drive was quiet. Even the boys and Gabby were quiet. As soon as he pulled in, Hannah grabbed his keys and headed inside, Max was right behind her. Matty helped Mike with Gabby's diaper bag and a toy that she had thrown on the floorboard. He was aggravated and Matty was picking up on the vibe.

"Daddy?"

"What, Matty?"

"Are you mad at Hannah?"

"A little."

"She's afraid that you won't love her anymore."

"I still love her. I'm just disappointed."

"What's that mean?"

"Ah. It means that I expected better out of her and she didn't do that."

"Oh. Well to her, it makes it seem like you don't love her. I think she got hurt but she doesn't want to tell you. What did that other girl do?"

"I have no idea but it's not a good enough excuse for fighting."

"You should ask her. She may have a good reason."

"Matty, there isn't a good reason to fight especially when you can get seriously injured."

"Isn't that what you were doing when you were a sailor?"

"Ah…"

"I'm going inside. I'm gonna check on Hannah and get her a band aid."

"Why does she need a band aid?"

"For her hands. They were all bloody. And I'm gonna give her a big hug."

"Um, okay."

Mike and Matty headed inside and Mike got him a couple band aids. He hadn't handled things correctly with Hannah again. It wasn't saying much for his parenting skills, that he was letting his six year old handle it. Max was watching a movie while he fixed supper. Gabby was in her bouncy seat, sleeping. Matty came out and tugged on his shirt.

"Yes, son?"

"Hannah is really upset and she threw up in her trash can. I think there is something really wrong. There was blood in it. She told me not to tell you."

"Matty go watch the movie with Max. You did the right thing." Mike picked Gabby up and laid her down in her portable crib. He called Grace to see how far she was from being off work. She would be home in about five minutes. He explained what was going on. She would take his truck to church with the kids and he'd take her Explorer. He would be taking Hannah to the hospital. He headed for her bedroom and found her lying on the floor, next to the trash can. There was a small amount of blood in it and she was pale.

"Hannah, sweetie. Come on. We need to get to the hospital. You're bleeding inside."

"Just leave me. It's not like you care."

"I care about you. If I don't get you to the hospital, you could die. If I have to carry you out kicking and screaming, I will but you're going."

"Yes, sir." She went to stand up but her legs gave out. Mike caught her and stood her back up, wrapping his arms around her and pulling her close.

"I got you, baby. Come on."

By the time he had gotten her into the living room, Grace was home and in the kitchen. She was on the phone with the school, and was finishing up supper. She hung up and followed him out the door.

"I spoke with Principal Hayes. Carly started the fight. As near as he knew, Hannah only hit back once. She took several blows to the stomach. She told them she was fine. That's why they didn't call you. She didn't want them to. She was afraid that you would be disappointed."

"I see. Where's Carly?"

"Juvenile Division took her into custody. Her mom is trying to get her out of it. Is saying Hannah started it but there is video footage."

"Alright, well I'm taking your sister to the hospital. Hopefully she won't need another surgery."

"Call me."

"Will do."

Mike kissed her goodbye and waved at her as she walked in. Hannah was awake but looking out the window. She was quiet and so pale. Mike grabbed her hand and squeezed. He was feeling horribly about everything. The trip to the hospital was quiet, she wasn't interested in talking.

They performed multiple tests on her at the hospital. Thankfully her lung hadn't been punctured, there were no broken ribs and her liver was in good shape. She had a small cut in her mouth that might have caused the blood in the vomit. They thankfully saw no signs of injury to her stomach. Her knuckles were properly bandaged and she was released. Mike helped her out to the Explorer. He called Grace and Polly to let them both know Hannah was okay. Hannah had stayed quiet the entire time.

"Okay. I'm starving and I know you must be too. Pancakes?"

"If that's what you want."

"Hannah, I'm sorry. I know you're mad. You again, have the right. I said what I said out of concern for you. Can I ask what why she started the fight?"

"Remember that girl in the class that's blind and deaf? I was helping her in music class. She loves it. She can't hear the music but I let her feel my throat so she can feel the vibration of me singing. Carly made a remark that it was stupid and I was stupid for trying to help them. I stood up to go to the teacher and Carly grabbed me by the arm and hit me in the stomach several times. I only hit her when she tried to hit Faith. Faith didn't understand what was going on. The teacher had stepped outside to get another teacher to help her pull us apart."

"Okay. I was totally wrong. And I'm sorry. I do wish you had told the school so they could have called me."

"I know. I just didn't want you to get mad at me."

"Why?"

"I'm confused?"

"Why would I get mad? You were defending someone who couldn't defend herself? Why would I be mad?"

"Because I had gotten in another fight."

"That you didn't start and you didn't really defend yourself. You only fought back when someone else was in danger. Was it that you thought I would be mad or because of you fighting again, you would lose my love?"

"Pretty much."

"Hannah, it's not that simple. If anything it makes me love you more. I know I've set things to make you always wonder if I love you or if there is going to be something that you do, which will cause you to lose it. I can tell you, it's not going to happen. I love you. My parenting skills where you're concerned it questionable at best and this won't be my last screw up. But I do love you. Never doubt that."

"I love you too, Daddy. I do want some pancakes."

"Well then let's go." Mike leaned over and kissed her on the side of the head and then headed to a restaurant to get the requested pancakes. Supper was enjoyable and she made several jokes. He would be having a meeting with the principal, counselor and Carly's mother the next morning. Grace had spoken further with the principal and learned that Carly's mom, Carol Robbins would try to use her position on the school board to intimidate Mike. Principal Hayes had already warned that he would be referring to Mike as "Admiral Slattery." He was getting tired of Ms. Robbins using her position especially now that Carly had landed a kid in the hospital.

Grace and Matty were already home and she was trying to get him geared down for bed. The next night would really throw his routine since they would all be at Grace's apartment. Hannah went to do her homework, Grace was packing in her bedroom and so Mike cuddled with Matty. The little guy was exhausted and didn't want to sleep in his own room. Mike was stacking parenting fails up and so he just tucked Matty into his bed. At least Polly understood. He kissed both girls good night and made Hannah promise him that she would wake him up if she needed to. After locking up, he laid down next to Matty who immediately rolled onto his chest.

A very loud storm rolled through during the night and Matty woke up crying. He was still on Mike's chest and wrapped his arms around Mike's neck. Mike rubbed his back and held him close but Matty was wide awake.

"I'm scared, Daddy. But I know I'm safe. When am I gonna get muscles like yours?"

"Several years. Just try and relax. Remember what I said about Mommy telling you that she loves you when it rains?"

"Yeah. But I thought she would be mad because I love Polly. It hasn't rained lately."

"Oh no. She would love Polly too. She'd want you to have someone like Polly. "

"I wish I knew more about my mommy. It makes Hannah and Grace sad to talk about her."

"They miss her."

"You don't?"

"I do. I think about her a lot. When you smile at me, it reminds me of her. And I love it."

"Oh."

"And when you laugh, it reminds me of Lucas. You know when I tickle you? It's because I want to see your smile and hear your laugh."

"It doesn't make you sad?"

"Nope. It's the same as when you give me a hug. I feel all warm inside."

"Oh. So it's like Mommy and Lucas are giving you a hug?"

"Yep, you could say that. So Grace gave me some stuff of your mom's and I haven't gone through it. Do you want to help me? As long as you promise to go to sleep when the storm ends?"

"Okay."

Mike helped Matty up and stood up and grabbed the box that had sit on his dresser. He had every intention of going through it and putting it away before Saturday, it just didn't feel right to have it sitting there while being married to Polly. He sit down next to Matty and opened the box.

There were pictures, ticket stubs, her wedding band and engagement ring, her mother's ring that Mike had gotten her for their tenth wedding anniversary. Christine's mother's pearls were in it. He would give Grace the mother's ring since she had essentially become Hannah and Matty's mom. Hannah would get the pearls. He told Matty that when he was older he would get the engagement ring and wedding band. They looked at the pictures. They were mostly of Mike and the kids. There were a few more of him and Hannah including one after her ear tube surgery where she was sleeping on his chest. He would keep that for himself. Matty was getting sleepy and when they took everything out of the box, there was a note at the bottom. It was addressed to Mike in Christine's bold handwriting. He settled Matty down and the little guy fell asleep on his chest. Mike wasn't tired and so he decided to read the letter.

" _Mike,_

 _If you're reading this, something happened to me. I have had a really bad feeling about this pregnancy. I'm not sure why exactly. They tell me the baby is healthy and developing normally but I think something might happen. I just hope the baby will be okay. Not sure I can survive losing another child._

 _I didn't tell you about the pregnancy when you called because what you were doing was so important. If you knew I was pregnant you would find a way off the Nathan James to get to us. Don't get me wrong, I would love to have you here but the world needed you to do what you're doing._

 _I could have been a better wife, more supportive of your career. But don't ever think that I didn't love you. I was thrilled when I found out I was pregnant because I knew we would stall the divorce talk for at least awhile. I never wanted a divorce and I don't think you did either. We still loved each other too much. Or at least I did. I am sure you did too. That last night before you left for the Arctic? It was amazing. We may have both been drinking, but it left us with a lasting gift._

 _The one thing I hope is that you find the kids somehow. Fix things with Hannah. I know you have always loved her and I have told her that. She is going to need for you to be the best father you can be. You'll have the job of two parents and you'll have to love her enough for the two of us. I do hope you find someone to love. You need that and the kids need that. If the baby makes it, he or she will need a mother figure. Just always remind him (I think it's a boy), that I love him too._

 _I hate the idea that I will be leaving Grace responsible for so much. I know she'll fight to keep the baby and Hannah. When you find her, let her be the adult. It'll be hard, I'm sure. But she'll need that. I moved the kids here because there were reports that there were communities that had been untouched by the virus._

 _You were an amazing husband. I never one time doubted your love. I wish I hadn't griped so much about you being away but when you were home, you made me feel like I was an amazing mom and wife. That's all I ever wanted to be. I only got a college degree to pacify my parents. The one thing it got me was an amazing husband and kids. Whoever you end up with, I am sure you will choose well. Do her a favor; let her sleep on your chest. I always loved that, I felt so safe and loved._

 _I love you so much,_

 _Christine"_

Mike wiped tears away and looked towards the sleeping Matty. He was definitely a gift. One that he would be forever grateful for. Matty repositioned himself and grabbed a handful of chest hair. It hurt but made him smile at the same time. He leaned over and put the letter in his nightstand and shut the light off. He wrapped both arms around his sleeping son and kissed him on the forehead.

Mike never really fell back asleep. He stayed focused on Matty. About five, Hannah came in. Her stomach was hurting a little bit and she wanted to be close. He managed to scoot himself to the middle of the bed and let Hannah lay down next to him, pulling her onto his chest. She also went to sleep pretty quickly and he stayed awake focusing on both of them. It made him wish Grace would come in and lay down too.


	57. Chapter 57

**Five Years Later**

Chapter 57

Carly's mom had walked in like she owned the room. She was wearing a mini skirt and a too tight blouse with her black bra showing through. Too much make up and so much loud jewelry, Mike had a headache. She was not sitting properly considering the skirt that she was wearing. Mike was not impressed.

"Your daughter instigates my Carly. She gave Carly a broken nose last month. I thought I was going to have to take her to a plastic surgeon."

"That's my girl. I did have to take her to the hospital last night. She also woke me up at five this morning because her stomach was hurting. Her abdomen is covered in bruises. She has fingertip bruises on her arm. All from your daughter. Did Carly tell you why Hannah broke her nose or how they ended up fighting yesterday?"

"It doesn't matter."

"It does. Your daughter is a bully. She picks out kids that cannot defend themselves. My daughter has not always been in the right but I can at least say she fought defending someone who couldn't defend themselves."

"Well none of those kids belong in school. Why couldn't the Red Flu be more selective in who it killed? Your daughter would have been a good option too."

"Ms. Robbins, that was not appropriate." Principal Hayes looked as outraged as Mike was feeling.

"It's a drain of resources making sure those kids have an education. They will never function in society."

"And my daughter?"

"She's a mess."

"Okay, I am going to take the more mature route on this and by the way, Hannah maybe a mess but she's my mess and I adore her. Your daughter tried to hit a girl who is blind and deaf. She was making fun of her and Hannah and Hannah stood up to get the teacher. The teacher and the other students have confirmed this. Carly grabbed Hannah's arm and punched her in the stomach repeatedly. My daughter is just recovering from a very serious car accident. Her liver is still growing back; she doesn't have an appendix or spleen any longer. She had numerous broken ribs and a punctured lung. Your daughter punching her could have killed her. When Hannah broke Carly's nose? Your daughter tried to put ex-lax in another kid's milk. Now Principal Hayes and the counselor may not be able to stand up to you, but I will. You can't pull the whole school board thing on me. Your daughter is going to end up in jail at the rate she's going. My question is, did she learn to bully from you? The thing about bullies that I know for a fact? It's that eventually they come up on someone who is a little smarter than they are. I think that just happened to you?"

"I'm not a bully. I thought you were being mature?"

"Well, my kid could have been killed yesterday. And I promise, if I hear of one more fight, one more time of Carly picking on kids like Josh and Faith? I will have you off that school board so fast your head will be spinning."

"You're threatening me?"

"Nope. I heard what you said about kids like Josh and Faith not dying in the Red Flu. Can't imagine the voters will want a person like that on their school board."

"Well the principal and counselor won't say anything."

"Oh, they don't have to. I recorded it."

"That's illegal."

"Nope, I checked with Sheriff Smith. He's good with it."

Ms. Robbins let out a loud sigh and slammed out of the room. The counselor followed her out but told Mike it was simply because he had a meeting. Mike helped Principal Hayes clean up the coffee cups from the conference table.

"Did you really record it?"

"Yep. I knew she would say something stupid. It was really hard to not react when she said that about the Red Flu."

"That was unbelievable. And to wish that on Hannah? Any kid really?"

"Yeah. So what can be done?"

"Carly is in juvenile detention right now. I have no doubts that her mom will get her out of it. We will try and keep her and Hannah separated and will watch her closely. If her mom wasn't on the school board I would expel her. You know, school board elections are coming up. You could still file."

"I'm not school board material. But don't hesitate to ask for that recording. That woman doesn't need to be on a school board. I haven't even figured out how she was walking in that skirt."

"Oh she dresses like that all the time. It's embarrassing. It's not well known that you and Polly Hadley are engaged and she was using sex as…I don't even want to know. It's just not a good example for the girls."

"Well, I would rather my daughter look to women like Polly in how to dress then one like that. I've burnt some of Hannah's more revealing clothes from before."

"I don't doubt that. She dresses like a normal fourteen year old girl now and it's refreshing. Her grades are coming up by the way. The ones that were B's are now A's."

"That's my girl."

"Are you planning on taking your family on vacation? The reason I ask is there is a camp that's reopened for developmentally disabled kids. Josh and Faith are both going. Several others too. They need counselors and Hannah would be excellent. It's six weeks and it's in Oklahoma. I know it's a long time but I think it would be good for her."

"Six weeks?"

"Yeah. Midway through she could take a four day break if she wanted to. Or rather if her dad wanted her too?"

"I'll talk to her. Do you have any literature? I don't like the idea of her being away that long."

"I didn't think you would. And yes, here you go." He handed Mike a brochure about the camp and another about needing counselors. He headed out to his truck and texted Polly to see if she wanted to meet for lunch. She immediately texted that would and he headed for Maggie's. He had grabbed a high chair and filled his glass full of iced tea and grabbed Polly's soda. Maggie was busy and he took the coffee pot around to a couple tables to help her out.

"Do I need to get you an apron? You'd make a good waiter."

"I am not a waiter! Just helping you out."

"How'd the meeting go? Claire Robbins is a floozy."

"Don't hold back or anything Maggie!"

"Polly's the pastor. Not me. I get to say what I think!"

"That's a given. She wore a very short skirt and I could see her bra. Not that I was looking. She doesn't like me much now by the way."

"Are your feelings hurt? Did you not like what you saw? I am sure some plastic surgeon worked really hard on that rack!" Mike spewed his tea across the table and doubled over laughing. Polly walked in, in the middle of Mike's fit of laughter. As she got Gabby settled into the high chair she was looking at both of them suspiciously.

"Maggie, what did you say now?"

"Just an observation. It's not my fault that Mike embarrasses easy."

"Mike, what did she say?"

"You don't want to know, trust me."

"I'm guessing you didn't like Claire Robbins much?"

"He didn't like her skirt or bra."

"Geez, Maggie. You're gonna get me in trouble. I still have over forty eight hours before she and I are married. I don't want her having any second thoughts right now."

"Well I know what she picked out for the wedding night. You definitely don't want her second guessing before then."

"I'm gonna like it, huh?"

"Okay, guys, I know you both have no pride but Gabby is really young and I don't want her hearing this and besides we're in public."

"Mike, I better get going but I promise you'll love it. I don't want any more details though. It's a lot better than a mini skirt and bra."

"I can't wait." Maggie nodded at him, kissed Gabby on the top of the head and headed back to the kitchen. Polly was just shaking her head at them but was smiling.

"This is going to be my life at every family dinner isn't it? And adding Alec and Ryan into the mix?"

"Oh yeah. And Hannah too. She gives as good as she gets."

"So how did the meeting go?"

"Claire Robbins is a bully. Her daughter learned it from her. I didn't intimidate the way she thought I would. She also mentioned that kids like Josh and Faith should have died during the Red Flu and Hannah would have been a good option to die too."

"And there was no blood drawn in this meeting?"

"Nope and I didn't raise my voice either."

"Good job!"

"Principal Hayes wants Hannah to be a counselor at a camp for kids like Josh and Faith this summer. It's six weeks long."

"I'll have Maggie bring you a gallon of ice cream. I'll share it. Chocolate chip cookie dough good?"

"Sounds good. I haven't said yes yet. She doesn't know about it."

"And you're worried that if you let her go, you will lose ground with her?"

"Yep. Our relationship is still shaky. I about messed up last night again. She's okay now but she was pretty upset with me."

"About the fight?"

"Yeah. She's good now."

"Okay. Well, I can't say that you won't fall backwards but I can tell you, it sounds like a good opportunity and one she would love. You can't hold her back."

"She's young. Six weeks away from home and she's still recovering."

"Yeah. That's a given. We can go visit her, I'm sure. I can't tell you to send her but see what she says. How are you doing with Grace moving out?"

"Uh. Yucky."

"Sounds like you're talking to Max or Matty."

"Yep. That's how I feel about all of it. And besides, it will be over Hannah's birthday."

"So we visit her on her birthday."

"I guess. I just didn't like the idea of missing another birthday. It'll be her fifteenth and will be the second one that I've been around for. The first was her sixth."

"Yep, we'll definitely be visiting her."

"If I okay her going."

"You will."

"How do you know?"

"Because you're a smart man who listens to his wife and daughter. Even Gabby agrees with me."

"She does? She loves Hannah. She'll miss her as much as I do."

"Gabby, what do you say? Does Daddy need to let Sissy go have fun?"

"Dada, Sissy, go!"

"She's six months old. How is she forming sentences?"

"She's smart."

"Yeah, she is. I'm gonna go find that gallon of ice cream now."

"Oh I may have some tissues too. You need them? If I don't have them I have baby wipes for sure. " Maggie walked up with their food and sit down next to Polly and grabbed one of Mike's fries.

"Mags, Mike needs a gallon of ice cream. He's feeling a little blue."

"I'll make sure I have some for tonight at Grace's apartment. Why are you blue? Surely knowing that Polly's nightie is better than that mini skirt and bra will put you in a good mood."

"Of geez, Maggie!"

"You ladies are killing me."

"It's nice. She'll fill it out well."

"That's helping."

"Hannah has the opportunity to go be a counselor at a camp for developmentally disabled kids. It's six weeks long and is out of state. Plus with Grace moving out, he's feeling a bit rough."

"I am right here."

"Oh, Mike. That'll be good for Hannah."

"It'll be good for Hannah but it won't be good for Dad."

"He's speaking in the third person, Polly. Are you sure about marrying him? It's not too late."

"I know but I don't to waste that nightie."

"I am right here."

"Polly, I know the cure."

"I was thinking a gallon of ice cream but go ahead?"

"I need another niece or nephew."

"We're getting married Saturday. Hannah would leave in June. Polly would only be like two months along if she got pregnant right off. I don't think that would help much."

"Plus, I would kind of like to have Gabby out of diapers before I had another."

"There's that too."

"Well, darn. I love babies."

"Then you and Alec should get busy."

"Nope not us. I'm pinning my hopes on you two or Grace and Ryan. It is a little hard to explain though. My grandbabies will also be my great niece or nephews."

"Yeah, I'm hoping for a few years on that one. The idea of being a grandpa right now? Uh, yucky!"

"He also talks like he's talking to Max and Matty too, Maggie."

"Are you sure you want to put that nightie to use?" Maggie got up to take some customers menus.

"All this hype about your nightie and I don't get any pictures or anything?"

"It'll make Saturday night more fun."

"Sounds interesting. Do I get a color or description?"

"It's pink, there's lace. Shows plenty of skin. How's that?"

"What skin?"

"What skin would you like for it to show?"

"All of it."

"Well it show's about as much as Claire Robbin's bra."

"Nice. I truly wasn't looking. Besides she had a blouse covering it. It just showed through."

"I won't wear a blouse, how's that?"

"Forty eight hours is going to go by so slow."

"Don't get your hopes up."

"They already are. And I won't be disappointed."

"Okay. Let's get off this subject. What are the plans for tonight?"

"Matty and Max can sleep in Max's old bed. I will pack up Gabby's portable crib. I think your sister is planning on bringing bedding for everyone. Hannah's bed will be available too. We'll figure it out."

"I think the kids will sleep but that's about it. I'm worried about tomorrow night when she'll be by herself. Why don't I keep Matty and Hannah that way if she calls you, you don't have to worry about leaving them by themselves?"

"I wondered about that. I'm really worried about her tomorrow night."

"She needs to try and be by herself. It's part of the healing process."

"Doesn't mean I have to like it."

"Nope. You don't. But you do have respect it."

"I know."

"So, I need to get going. Thanks for lunch. I'll see you tonight. Love you."

"I love you too." He gave Polly and Gabby both a kiss and helped her out the door. He paid Maggie for lunch and listened to a few more of her jokes. He checked Grace's apartment again and went and picked up the boys and Hannah. They were all excited about the big slumber party at Grace's. He took them back to the house to get clothes and the puppies. He had decided to talk to Hannah about the camp. She was helping him pack a tote full of junk food while the boys picked out the toys they wanted to play with.

"So, I had a meeting with Principal Hayes today."

"About the fight?"

"Yeah. But it wasn't all that was discussed. There is a camp this summer in Oklahoma. Josh and Faith and a couple of your other friends are going. It's for kids with disabilities. They need counselors. Principal Hayes thinks you'll do well. It's six weeks and it is in Oklahoma."

"Oh, please, Daddy. Can I go, please? I'll do all my chores and I'll not talk back, oh, please Daddy?"

"It's six weeks and it's in Oklahoma."

"I know. But please? I'll even clean my room."

"It's over the summer and your birthday?"

"It's okay."

"It's work, Hannah. It won't be fun. We can have fun here."

"It's just not your definition of fun. When would I leave?"

"First of June."

"Okay. That would put me back in July. We can still do stuff. Please?"

"I suppose but…" Hannah let out a whoop of excitement and threw herself at Mike, hugging him around his neck. She kissed him on the cheek and headed for her room, almost shaking with excitement. Mike had to laugh at her but it did worry him. He was just scared that it would undermine their still very delicate relationship.

They got the boys packed up with toys, board games and junk food. The puppies were also going to be going. Mike had a truck load. Polly and Gabby meant them out front and Gabby started laughing gleefully when she saw the puppies. She loved them.

Grace and Ryan were already at the apartment preparing a couple frozen pizzas. Ryan put a movie on for the boys and put an old quilt down on the floor. He seemed lighter and happier. Mike was sitting on the couch with Gabby and Scooby when Ryan sit down next to him.

"So Dad took me to that counselor today."

"Oh yeah?"

"Yeah. He is a combat veteran. My big concern was that I would be talking to someone who didn't know anything about being in the military. He had me just talk everything out. It feels better to get everything off my chest."

"I knew that it would. But don't be afraid to go back if you need to."

"Yeah. I still can't wrap my head around getting commendations for what I did."

"Ryan, you did get your men home. You did get yourself home. Yeah, you had to kill to do it, but you made sure your men could come home to become husbands, fathers, and better sailors. Focus on that."

"That makes sense. I just hate the media hoopla."

"Yeah, that's rough. Ask for a private ceremony. Let it be known that you don't want that hoopla."

"And that'll work?"

"Yeah. The media wants heroes. The American people want it. But you get to choose rather you are known as that hero. It doesn't mean that you aren't because you want to be anonymous; it just means that you don't want perfect strangers to know it. Your family and friends will know and we all consider you a hero. That's all you need."

"Thanks, sir."

"No thanks needed."

Mike helped Ryan stand back up. Grace brought him a piece of pizza and took the puppy which made Gabby mad. He was going to be getting her a puppy of her own soon. Thankfully the kids didn't have school the next day and once Maggie and Alec arrived, a cutthroat game of Monopoly started. There was plenty of laughter and jokes.

He and Polly teamed up and got the boys settled. Maggie gave Gabby her bath in the kitchen sink to get her settled down. Alec actually got her rocked to sleep which made him happy. The lavender soup and warm sleeper probably helped too. Hannah headed for her old bedroom. Alec had gotten a work call and had to leave, promising Grace he would come back if needed. Maggie went in with Hannah and laid down with her, leaving Grace, Ryan, Polly and Mike in the living room. They would all camp out in the living room. Ryan took the couch due to his bummed knee and Mike hit the recliner. Grace and Polly ended up on an air mattress. When Alec came back he ended up on the couch with Ryan basically lying on his lap.

"He's almost twenty one and has been through hell and still loves doing this."

"It's not a bad thing."

"Oh, no. And I would never deny him. After you've lost a kid, you don't take anything for granted."

"That's for sure."

"I appreciate you talking to him like you have. Had it not been for you I don't think he would have gone to that counselor. He was worried what the officers would think of him. I've been a cop for years. But I've somehow never had to kill and I definitely have never seen combat. While I've seen my fair share of horrific things, it isn't quite the same thing and I couldn't help him. And he flat refused to talk to his mom. She knows what he did because I've told her but he is ashamed of it, and telling his mom that he killed? It was too much. He made me promise I wouldn't tell but I had to. I couldn't hold that back from her."

"I remember when I was a cop; I killed a teenage kid who was robbing a gas station. He had a gun held on an eighty year old shop keeper. He was going to kill him, wouldn't put the gun down after multiple warnings. I truly only meant to wound him but I hit an artery. He bled out. The only way my mom knew about it was she saw it on the news. Christine called her and let her know I was okay. Facing her? That was hard. My dad didn't care. He slapped me on the back and told me good job. Not what I needed to hear. But Mom? She just hugged me and cried."

"I think that's what he's worried about. His mom's opinion of him will change. It hasn't obviously. No parent wants to face the possibility that their child will have to take another human life. But I would much rather have him than have him not kill those men and not make it home. Or bring his men home."

"Does he know that?"

"Yeah. I was the one that woke up when he was having the nightmares. He and I have had a lot of late night talks. He's fallen asleep like this and in my arms many times in the past couple weeks."

"And you haven't patted him on the back like my dad did?"

"No. I knew better. Like you said, he didn't need to hear that."

"I figured you would know that. I think it's his hang up with the commendations and why he's so adamant about the no media. He doesn't want the Atta boys."

"I'm sure it's disconcerting. How did you deal with it?"

"I don't know how to shut my mouth when mad so they didn't like me in front of the cameras. Tom Chandler being my best friend helped. He doesn't like the Atta boys any more than I do. But he knows how not to blow off at the mouth."

"Are you gonna run for the school board?"

"How'd you hear?"

"I had a meeting with Principal Hayes before I came here this evening. He wants me to convince you."

"I am not school board material."

"You shoot straight. Your priority is your kids and by extension, kids in general. You don't take guff off anyone. You're not intimidated. Sounds like school board material to me."

"Not if I had to be on the board with Claire Robbins."

"But she likes married men?"

"Not this one. Are you speaking from experience?"

"She doesn't like me either. I shut her down. Or, actually Maggie did. Something about dumping a pitcher of lemonade all over her. Not just on her clothes, she upended the entire pitcher over her head. She told me it was an accident."

"That's hilarious. Maggie tripped, right?"

"Yep. And then told her to 'keep your damn hands off my husband.'"

"Was Polly or Maggie adopted?"

"Polly has her moments too."

"Yeah. I've gotten a few of those speeches."

"And you'll get more."

"Maggie has an odd sense of humor. But so does Polly."

"That they do. I think that comment she made about the developmentally disabled kids and Hannah dying from the Red Flu will catch up with her. I watched my kids die from that. You don't wish that on anyone."

"Horrific?"

"Yeah, gut wrenching. Course it was only through glass. Maggie couldn't handle it. Polly stayed with her. I felt like they needed to know one of us was there. So I stood where they could see me. They were heavily sedated and probably didn't feel anything. But it was still horrible. McKenna stayed conscious longer and was awake when Aiden died. She only lasted about twenty minutes after him."

"It broke her heart."

"That's what I think. She was conscious but not really alert. But she knew. There were tears rolling down her face and it wasn't from pain."

"If you want to stop talking about this…"

"It's okay. I didn't understand why they kept them in the same room. Same bed in fact. They didn't have room and since they were twins, it made sense."

"Do you think she would have lasted longer had they not been together?"

"It took a while for me to accept it but I am glad they were together. Aiden wasn't alone when he died and McKenna didn't suffer long. That means a lot."

"Yeah. I imagine. I don't have a lot of details where Lucas is concerned. I don't want to ask my girls, Christine never said, and now? I just don't want to know."

"Not knowing, you imagine the worst case scenarios. Sometimes the reality is better."

"Maybe. But I won't open the wounds where the girls are concerned."

"Well that is understandable. They never told us anything about how Lucas died. Just Christine."

"Yeah."

"Listen, I need to try and get some sleep for work…today. Does Ryan have the blanket covering him?"

"Pretty much."

"Alright, well thanks. Good talk. Thanks for helping with Ryan. It means a lot.

"Your welcome. You've done a lot for me."

"It's been a pleasure, trust me. Your kids are amazing, but you already know that."

"Yep. Get some rest."

Alec nodded at him, tucked the blanket in closer to Ryan and leaned his head back on the couch. He was out in no time at all. Mike got up quietly, looking in at the boys, sticking his head into Hannah's room. Gabby was sound asleep. He threw another blanket over Grace and Polly and reclined back into the chair and fell asleep.


	58. Chapter 58

**Five Years Later**

Chapter 58

Friday sped by. His day was spent moving the seats where Polly and Maggie instructed him. Ryan tried to help him but he could only do so much with his knee. It had gotten kinked up during the night and he was back on crutches. Maggie spent the day in his kitchen getting meat, vegetable and fruit trays ready. Tom, Sasha, Russ and Andrea were coming down in the evening and Mike was hearing rumblings of a bachelor party. He had already made it clear he didn't want any alcohol there and it sounded like it was going to just be a poker game. He didn't need to drink and he also needed to be sober if Grace called him scared.

Grace had her night planned. She would be at Polly's until about nine. She had promised Mike that she would call him before she went into her apartment. He had offered to stay online with her while she walked through by herself at first, but she wanted to do it on her own. He and Alec had checked, double and triple checked the apartment. It was locked tight. Kirk had also done a walk through and Ryan had done at least two. She had told them all that she would be okay but they did it for their own case of nerves. A group of the deputy's wives had gotten together and gotten her a basket, filled with a sleep aide, lavender lotion, a book, movie, candies. Mike was nervous but Grace was a beacon of strength. He just hoped that she would call him, Alec, Ryan, anyone.

He had warned Tom and Russ both that he might have to leave and they both had agreed to go with him if it was needed. Tom had told him that he thought she would be fine. Mike knew he wouldn't be getting much sleep that night and it wasn't from nerves for the wedding. He was excited for that.

Tom and his group got there about four and they all ate dinner together. Sasha and Andrea would be going with Polly and staying the night at her house. Hannah and Matty would also be staying there. There was talk of a girl's night once the boys went to bed. Mike had offered to keep them but Polly pointed out the possibility that Grace might need him and the boys weren't all that familiar with Tom and Russ. He helped Polly pack the kid's stuff into her SUV and it was the first time they had been alone all day.

"So any second thoughts about tomorrow?"

"Nope. Not a one. You getting nervous?"

"Not about tomorrow. I'm worried about Grace."

"She'll be fine. Don't bug her too much."

"Uh yucky. I won't be getting a lot of sleep tonight."

"Well, you may not tomorrow night either."

"Grace will be out here, she'll be okay…oh wait. That isn't what you meant."

"Nope."

"Here we go with those comments again." Mike pulled her into a deep kiss that left them both out of breath.

"I will be glad when we don't have to stop at kissing."

"Mmm…me too."

"Is your mind in the gutter?"

"I only followed you!" The ladies and the kids were coming outside and so he released Polly after giving her another quicker kiss. He gave the younger kids a kiss and hugged them all. Grace had also came outside but she was riding by herself. After seeing Polly and her group off, he gave Grace a hug and kiss.

"You don't hesitate to call me. I will be there in no time flat. Any little noise. I'm serious, Grace. And call me once you leave Polly's before you get there. If I don't hear from you through the night, I want you to call me the second you wake up."

"I'll be fine. Try and sleep."

"Alright, well this isn't a gift. It's a loan. I know Kirk and Alec have taken you to the range a couple times. It's a Baby Glock. It's fit more for a woman. I've fired about a hundred rounds through it. This is the safety. And you pull back like this to put one in the chamber. I know they've talked to you, but double tap, center mast. You hit someone like that, there is no way they'll be getting up. Kick their weapon away from them and call and get help. It won't happen but I want you to have this with you." Mike handed her the small handgun that he had pulled out of his hoodie pocket.

"Okay. That is the same thing Alec told me too. How long have you had this gun and don't lie?"

"A couple days."

"Thought you said it was a loan?"

"It's a loan that I bought on purpose. With you or Polly in mind. For my peace of mind, take it. Keep it close and don't be scared of it. Keep your finger out of the trigger guard and…"

"Daddy, I got it."

"Okay. Keep it in the glove compartment of the Explorer while you're at Polly's and lock it. Once you get to the apartment, keep it on your person until you go to bed. Then put it in the nightstand. It's loaded and ready to go. If you want to bring it back out and practice with it tomorrow, we can do that. Or I'm sure Alec or Kirk wouldn't mind helping you with it to get you used to it. But most of all, call me."

"I will."

"Okay. Grace, I am so proud of you. More than you could ever realize. I love you so, so, so much. I have something else for you. And it is a gift and it is something I bought. But it's something that belonged to your mom. I bought this ring for our tenth wedding anniversary. It's a mother's ring. The reason I am giving it to you, is you essentially become Hannah and Matty's mother figure the last several years. You deserve it and I think your mom would agree. I'm putting it on your right hand because I have a feeling your left ring finger is going to be occupied fairly soon. It belongs there until you have a mother's ring of your own. Now that is Lucas's birthstone but since Matty has the same one it works. There is an inscription on the inside, it says 'To the Best Mom I know." It applies for you too." Mike put Christine's ring on Grace's finger. Thankfully it fit her perfectly. There were tears rolling down her face and she hugged him tightly. She kissed his cheek and pulled away.

"Thank you, Daddy. I think that's the best gift you could have given me. I wasn't sure where it had even gone."

"It was in that box. I'm giving Hannah your grandma's pearls. If that's okay? And Matty gets the engagement ring and wedding band…many years in advance."

"That's fine. She loved Grandma. I did too, but Hannah and her were close. She would want her to have them. She should wear them tomorrow. But then she'd have to take her locket off."

"She loves that locket."

"Well you gave it to her. It means a lot."

"Did you want one too?"

"No. That needs to be just for Hannah. It's what makes it special. Besides, I would much rather have this ring. It means more to me."

"Okay, if you're sure?"

"Positive. I love this."

"I'm glad. You deserve it. Polly is going to wonder where you went. She'll worry."

"Yeah, I'd better go. A gallon of ice cream awaits."

"That's a lot of ice cream for one person."

"I know. I promise I will call you when I leave Polly's. But I will tell you, I am going to try really hard not to call through the night. I will call when I wake up though."

"Alright. Works for me. I love you, sweetie."

"I love you too."

He hugged and kissed her again and watched her drive away. It was not easy. But she was ready. He headed back inside and nodded at Alec. They had discussed the gun prior to Mike buying it. It was definitely bought with Grace in mind.

The rest of the night was pretty subdued. Poker got traded in for Monopoly. In place of alcohol was sweet tea and soda. They were all smoking cigars, even Ryan. It had been his first and he didn't much care for it. It had brought plenty of laughs when he started coughing and sputtering. He didn't like it much.

Alec and Ryan left about nine and Russ headed to bed fairly early. Mike took his cellphone and headed to the dock where Tom was already sitting. They sit in total silence for a little while listening to the crickets.

"I can see why you bought this place. It's peaceful."

"Pictures of the dock sold me."

"I bet. Hard to believe that it was a month ago that we were packing your truck up. I figured I would be getting a call that you'd killed yourself or drank yourself stupid, not all this."

"Had I not found the kids I might have."

"Or that you would be getting married. Polly's great by the way. I would have never imagined you with a pastor but it works. It's…strange."

"Glad you like her. And I would have never imagined it. Marrying a woman I've only known for three weeks? God must have some jokes."

"No kidding. You and Christine dated for how long?"

"Three years, engaged for a full year. And my first girlfriend and I dated from seventh grade on."

"You've never talked about her."

"She died just out of high school. Car wreck. Not much to say."

"Would have gotten married?"

"Probably. Both sets of parents wanted us to wait. And had we, I would have never become a cop or joined the Navy. Also wouldn't have had my kids."

"She didn't want kids? Or for you to be a cop?"

"No. She wanted me to be an attorney, her dad was one. Can you imagine me as an attorney? And she couldn't have kids. She didn't like the idea of adoption either."

"You in a suit every day?"

"I know. I'm liking retired life. I don't have to shave if I don't want to. And I haven't tucked my shirt in other than at the awards ceremony and a meeting with Hannah's principal."

"How's she doing? I noticed the stitches on her head. What happened? Wasn't an injury you listed after the truck wreck."

"It had to do with the investigation into Grace's attack. The girls and I were eating lunch in Grace's office when one of the part time employees walked up and started shooting. She was Sarah Gibson's friend. I had a slight graze on my arm from throwing myself over Grace. I knocked Hannah's chair out of the way but one of the bullets richocheted on a file cabinet. If I had kicked the chair an eighth of an inch to the right…well I wouldn't have Hannah now."

"Wow. I am trying to figure out how you haven't gotten them wrapped in bubble wrap?"

"Yeah. I need to buy that stuff in bulk."

"I bet. You and she seem…closer?"

"Yeah. We're working on that. I realized after the accident that up until I found them, I had never told her that I loved her or anything of the sort. Didn't have a bond. It was hard."

"Uh…Mike. I have been around for years. You adored that little girl. There was a bond."

"That's what everyone keeps saying. Maybe, but I don't recall one time, ever telling her that I loved her. No excuse for that."

"I remember a class project that Sammy and Hannah's class did in…second grade? It was drawings for sailors. When you got yours in the mail, it was from Hannah, not the entire class. It was a picture of the two of you that she had drawn. You bought a frame at the next port and it was in your cabin. The next phone call out, Christine put her on the phone and you told her that you loved her picture and that it was in your cabin hung up. And I distinctly remember you telling her that you loved her."

"I don't remember that. The picture…yes. I still have it. But telling her that I love her? It was probably the only time."

"Well I was there. You said it."

"Maybe. I definitely didn't have the relationship that I should have had with her."

"How old was Grace when you deployed the first time?"

"Six."

"And Lucas?"

"A year old, I was home quite a bit then."

"Okay. I remember. And Hannah?"

"A couple weeks old. And I came home when she was a year old. She's fourteen now, and I've been around her maybe three years. One birthday. And she wants to go to camp to be a counselor for the developementally disabled this summer. Over her next birthday."

"Oh that's rough. You've okay'd it?"

"Yeah. She begged and I have trouble telling my kids no. I don't like it. We're rebuilding our relationship and having her gone for six weeks? While she's recovering? Not sure it won't undermine things.

"Okay, stupid suggestion and Polly may disagree but why don't you go be a counselor? Maybe just a week or so. Long enough that you will know that Hannah will be okay."

"It's a thought but I don't think she wants that."

"Alright, well tell her what your fear is. There's texting, emailing, video chat?"

"That's a more viable option. I need to check the camp out anyway. I'm gonna call Monday."

"I think it's a good opportunity." With that remark Grace called and Mike showed Tom the caller ID. Tom motioned that he was going inside to give Mike some privacy.

"Hey, sweetie."

"So, I was in a mindset when I left Polly's and didn't call you. I'm at the apartment. I've done a walk through. Everything is okay."

"Okay. It's fine. You headed to bed?"

"Yeah. I'm taking a shower and headed that way."

"Okay, and the locks are locked?"

"Yeah."

"Okay. Before you go to bed, make sure the chain is off the front door that way if you need me I can get in."

"Daddy, I'll be fine."

"I'm sure you will. Where's the gun?"

"At the moment, on my belt. You gave me a holster with it, remember?"

"Good girl. And you're comfortable with it?"

"I'll feel better after I've shot it. But yeah."

"Okay. I will talk to Alec tomorrow, see if I can take you to the range."

"I'm sure he'll be fine. He will use it as a bribe to get you to take a fulltime position."

"Not sure that is going to happen. Polly is pretty on the fence about me being a deputy. I won't cause her any undue anxiety."

"Makes sense. She probably won't like it if I become one?"

"She's not loving that either but she loves you and will support you."

"And you?"

"She would love and support me."

"No, if I became one?"

"I don't want to discourage you. I don't love the idea either. Not because I don't think you're capable or that you wouldn't be a good deputy, but because as old and wise as you are, you're still my baby girl. I would be terrified constantly. But I would still love and support you, and I would be immensely proud of you."

"I'm still undecided. But I can't imagine being anything but a cop."

"Well, then, my guess is, that's what you're supposed to do. What does Ryan say?"

"Pretty much what you said. He doesn't love the idea, especially if we have kids."

"Well, it's understandable."

"You joined the Navy when I was four. Did having me impact your decision?"

"Yes. Becoming a father made me realize that I didn't need to just make my city safer but the world that you would grow up in."

"And look what happened."

"Yeah. That was not on my radar."

"It wasn't on anyone's radar. I do need to go to bed. I'm worn out. I promise to call but don't make any bets."

"Okay. I will have the phone close all night. And please call in the morning. I love you, sweetie."

"I will. Love you too."

Mike hung up and realized how exhausted he was. It had been a busy day and the next day would be even busier. He was missing his kids being there. If being away from them for a night got to him, having Hannah gone for 6 weeks would drive him beserk. He was dreading it, but he couldn't renig on her either. It would be good for her, just not for him. He got up and headed into the house to go to bed. His next day would be long and he couldn't wait.


	59. Chapter 59

The last couple paragraphs are slightly illicit. Not horrible and not enough to change the rating. Just be warned!

 **Five Years Later**

Chapter 59

Grace made it through the night alright. There were a few times that she thought she heard something but it was always nothing. As promised, she called Mike as soon as she woke up. She actually woke him up from a sound sleep. She didn't figure he would even be sleeping that well but was glad that he was. It was about seven and she promised she would see him later. Polly, Maggie, Hannah and she were dressing at Polly's house.

Maggie had gone all out. She had a hairdresser set up and she would help Polly and the girls with their makeup. It was not going to be a fancy wedding, very informal. Grace would maintain the boys and Gabby with Ryan and Maggie's help. Hannah would be next to Polly. There would be very few guests. Polly and Mike were both adamant.

Mike was still not nervous. The only thing that he didn't care for was being away from his kids for a second night, but it was also best that he and Polly took a night away. He was thrilled that Grace had not had any issues through the night but it also made him a little blue. It would have been nice to be needed. Tom and Russ were dragging along and so Mike sit down with a cup of coffee to text Polly.

 _"Morning, beautiful."_

 _"I'm making you an eye appointment this week."_

 _"Don't need one. I can get the boys; keep them out of your way?"_

 _"Yeah. They are being really rambunctious."_

 _"Okay. What about Gabby?"_

 _"She's fine. Andrea and Sasha are getting plenty of baby time in. Gabby likes them."_

 _"She's a good judge of character."_

 _"I guess. So still no second thoughts?"_

 _"Nope. You?"_

 _"Nope. Not in the least."_

 _"And no nerves?"_

 _"Nope. At least not about marrying you."_

 _"Then what?"_

 _"Tonight."_

 _"It'll be fine. I love you. And I will love your body. I'm a little nervous that I'll hurt or scare you."_

 _"You'll be fine."_

 _"Hope so."_

 _"I'm sure of it."_

 _"So I will be there in twenty minutes. Am I allowed to see you?"_

 _"Yes. Maggie may so no but I say yes."_

 _"You're the boss. I have the boy's outfits here and I do have an appointment for the three of us to all have our hair trimmed up this morning."_

 _"Don't you forget it. And Max needs a haircut badly. I ran out of time to get it done. Thanks for thinking of it."_

 _"Yes, ma'am. And you're welcome. I'll see you in about twenty minutes."_

 _"Hey, Grace made it through okay? I should have asked first."_

 _"Yeah, she was good."_

 _"Okay."_

Mike hollered at Tom and Russ that he would be back in an hour or so. Russ had woke up and Tom grumbled. Maggie had made sure there was plenty of food for breakfast there and the coffeepot was on. His appointment was at ten and it would give him just enough time to see his girls and get the boys rounded around. The drive to Polly's, he was mentally going through a checklist of stuff that needed to be done. Polly had packed Max and Gabby's essentials and he would be formally moving them in that week. He also had an appointment with an attorney to start adoption proceedings for the two kids. He wanted that done as quickly as possible. He would also be putting Polly's names on accounts and setting up wills. There was no hurry but he did want it done as quickly as possible. Polly's house already looked busy, unlike his own. As soon as he walked in the door, Max and Matty ran up to him for hugs.

"We missed you, Daddy."

"I missed you guys too, a lot. Get your stuff rounded up. We have a hair cut in about a half hour. Hannah and Grace around? Where's your mom?"

"She's in Gabby's room. Hannah is awake. I think she's in with Mom. Grace maybe too."

"Okay. I'll be back in a minute. Get your toys together. You'll be at my house tonight."

Both boys nodded at him and started getting ready. He met Sasha and Andrea in the hallway. Maggie came in as he was headed back and hollered at him because she didn't think he should see Polly. He just smiled at her. Grace was helping Polly with Gabby but Hannah seen him and immediately rushed over for a hug.

"I missed you, Daddy!"

"I missed you too, sweetheart. I am not going to like that six weeks very well."

"Yeah, but I'm really excited."

"I know. You can be. But your old dad doesn't have to be."

"If you don't want me to go?"

"I don't. But I know that you want to. I will just not like it very much."

She nodded at him and gave him another hug. Grace also came over for a hug and both girls headed into the living room. Gabby was still grumping. Polly usually let her wake herself up, but due to the time constraints, had to wake her up which made for a grumpy baby. Mike walked over and gave Gabby a kiss on the head and she reached for him. Mike took her and the baby immediately tried to cuddle up to go back to sleep and he leaned over and kissed Polly.

"You're spoiling her. She wants to be held all the time."

"That's a baby's job. I can take her with me."

"She's just waking up. The kids really missed you."

"I know, the boys both me practically at the door."

"Check out is eleven but I have a feeling we'll be home a lot earlier than that. You missed them as much and I know I will."

"I want to make it until at least seven."

"What does that say about us? We're taking one night away, not far from home and we may cut it short."

"Says we love our kids. If we leave at four or five, are we stopping for supper first?"

"I picked a hotel with twenty four hour room service. I figured it would be easier."

"Good idea. I am looking forward to tonight too."

"I am too. I just don't want you to have high expectations."

"Mmm. I do and you will fulfill them."

"You're a mess."

"But I'm your mess! I better get going. Don't worry about tonight. You're absolutely breath taking and I won't be disappointed."

He kissed Polly and handed the almost sleeping Gabby back. As he walked back through the living room, the boys were mostly ready to go. Hannah and Grace were both talking to Sasha and Andrea and barely noticed him. Mike got the boys collected and kissed the girls both on top of the head.

Haircuts were easy and he took the boys for lunch at Maggie's afterwards. Tom and Russ played catch with the boys while Mike showered, shaved and got ready. He was still not nervous. The boys would both need to be cleaned up a bit before the wedding. Russ helped get them ready while Tom showered and shaved. The women all showed up with the exception of Polly, Maggie and Gabby. They wouldn't be there until just before the wedding. Pastor John and his wife, Melody had come in and went over last minute details with Mike. Alec and Ryan finally came in with the cake which was simple but beautiful.

Alec was giving Polly away. Ryan, Grace and Maggie would handle the kids. At a quarter until two, Maggie and Polly showed up. Polly looked absolutely beautiful. The dress was an ankle length, cream colored, silk with a lacy overlay. It was beautifully modest, the sleeves were three quarter length and there was flowers in her brown hair. As promised she was not wearing heels, just simple cream colored flats. Maggie took Gabby down to the dock after Mike gave them both a kiss on the cheek. His girls and the boy were already down there along with everyone else. Alec waited out on the back deck to escort Polly down. It gave them a few private moments.

"You look amazing, beautiful, breathtaking…"

"Definitely making that eye appointment this week. I couldn't get my make up right…"

"It's perfect. Can I kiss you?"

"A small kiss. That crowd down there is expecting this long…" Mike gently pulled her to him and gave her a soft kiss. It was not as long as he would like but he didn't want to smudge her lipstick. Supposedly there were supposed to be pictures taken.

"We'd better get down there. Everyone is waiting. You are so beautiful. I love you. I'll walk you out to Alec and I will be waiting for you."

"I love you too. Let's get this show on the road. Sasha told me she's going to demolish those cheese trays."

"We didn't get her any cookies?"

"She ate almost a whole box last night. That baby is going to be a cookie monster. Gabby decided she loves cookies by the way. She created a…well, a monster." Mike laughed, gave her his arm and they headed out the door. Alec shook Mike's hand and after smiling at both of them, Mike headed down the stairs.

He shook Pastor John's hand, gave Hannah a kiss on the cheek and gave Tom a brotherly hug. He had given Hannah the pearls when she had gotten there and he specifically asked her to wear them. She had the locket on as well. He loved the connection to Christine that the pearls offered. She had worn them on their wedding day and it just seemed appropriate that Hannah would be wearing them.

Alec and Polly carefully made their way to the dock and he gave her a kiss on the cheek before offering Polly's hand to Mike. He took his seat between Maggie and Ryan and Pastor John began the service.

"Normally I would have serious issues officiating the wedding vows to a couple that had only known each such a short amount of time. I would refuse. But when Polly told me that Mike had asked her to marry him and that she had said yes, I knew she would have never said that if she didn't feel a thousand percent sure and was following God's lead. Romans Twelve tells us 'Love must be sincere. Hate what is evil; cling to what is good. Be devoted to one another in love. Honor one another above yourselves. Never be lacking in zeal, but keep your spiritual fervor, serving the Lord. Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer. Share with the Lord's people who are in need. Practice hospitality.' I have always loved that particular scripture and it is pretty well describes Mike and Polly. This couple came together in a time of mutual need. Polly was helping Grace and Mike was teaching Max to play baseball. Usually when I see a family blend, there's a lot of strife. Not in this case. There are no step parents or children. Just a mom and dad, sons and daughters. It's refreshing and I can't wait to watch this family grow even closer. Now I will cut to the chase. Mike and Polly both are a little lacking in the patience department and I promised them that I would keep it short and sweet. This couple can't wait to be married. Tom and Hannah have the rings."

The rest of the wedding was traditional. They repeated the vows; Tom acted like he had lost Polly's wedding band which earned him dirty looks from both Mike and Polly. Hannah finally chuckled and handed it to Mike. Apparently the two of them had had a prank going. They exchanged the rings and Pastor John pronounced them as husband and wife. They kissed and turned around to greet their guests. The photographer was a friend of Maggie and Alec's and she had been snapping pictures the entire time. The guests all went up to the house leaving Mike, Polly and the kids on the dock to take pictures. It seemed like there were hundreds taken. The only ones Mike and Polly cared about was the family picture that was taken which was a feat with five kids. Finally the photographer was satisfied and the kids escorted her upstairs, leaving Mike and Polly alone again.

"So what's the plan now, Boss?"

"Cute. We go up there. We eat, visit, cut the cake, try and feed each other, change clothes and leave."

"I have an overnight bag packed in my room. Where's yours?"

"I threw it in your truck on the way in. I have an outfit in Hannah's room."

"Let's get up there. I love our family and friends but I am looking forward to our 'private mommy and daddy time.'"

"Even if it's not that long?"

"Quality over Quantity."

"Nice. Let's go. And by the way, Grace ended up with my bouquet. Not sure how but she did. I give them six months."

"Uh yucky."

"You like Ryan?"

"I think the world of Ryan. But Grace is still my baby girl. The idea of giving her away is painful, no matter what I think of Ryan."

"Ah that's sweet. You will cry like a baby that day." They had made their way from the dock and were on the porch watching inside.

"Yeah. I will. Let's get inside."

When they got inside there was a massive gift wrapped package sitting on Grace's easel. Everyone had dug into the food and was visiting. Polly didn't seem very surprised by the package but Mike was clueless. Finally Grace and Hannah pulled him to it.

"What's this? Polly and I said no presents."

"It's not really a present. You gave me your medals to display how I wanted to. It's a big shadow box. It has all your medals and there are pictures of all of us. Polly helped us put it together. I want them displayed, here. They belong with you. Hannah, your turn."

"It doesn't just have your medals in it, but mine too. There was a reason I helped Jeremy and the other veterans. I knew I would most likely not find you in that place but as long as I was helping them, I felt like I was in some way, doing something for you. So, if it wasn't for you, I wouldn't have helped them, which means that medal is more yours then mine. I felt it belonged with yours when Grace told me that she was putting this together for you, I insisted. We are proud of you, of your service, your sacrifices. Not just since the Red Flu, but before then. It couldn't have been easy to have to continuously deploy. To leave your family, your home. And then to not be able to find us? It had to have been horrible. I can't imagine what you went through. We had it easy. I love you, so, so much."

Mike was overwhelmed with emotion. Grace and Hannah had unwrapped the shadow box and it was absolutely beautiful. There were assorted pictures of Mike and all the kids, including Lucas in the middle and one of his and Christine's wedding pictures. The Medals of Honor were at the top, with Hannah's at the bottom, the Purple Hearts, the Navy Cross and Silver Star were along the sides. It had a solid black wood frame and background was a dark blue. He hugged both girls and explained in simple terms the Medals to the boys. He didn't want to tell them how he had gotten them. He did notice a couple empty picture slots and asked Grace. Hannah had walked into the kitchen.

"Those are for the family pictures we took today and yours and Polly's wedding picture. We had asked her already about putting Mom and yours in and she pretty well insisted that we do. Her theory was that Mom had also sacrificed and deserved to included. Polly felt that she would have it easy since you wouldn't be deploying. Mom had it harder. I hope that doesn't bother you?"

"It doesn't. Explains why Polly had the photographer here. I haven't wanted to display these but this is beautiful. I'm not sure where I will put it but I love it."

"Well, Uncle Tom told me that he would help hang it once you and Polly left. I want it out here where people can see it. You don't have to explain how you got them but I do think people need to know that you're our hero. Now, while you and Polly were down on the dock, he hung another picture up in the living room, it's one of my paintings. It's my gift to you."

"You didn't have to do anything. This is enough."

"Go in the living room and look. You'll like it."

"I'm sure I'll love it." He made his way to the living room with his arm around Grace. The painting was the view from the back deck towards the dock. It was beautiful and he instantly loved it. He gave Grace another hug and kiss. Their crowd was starting to thin out a bit and Polly had gone into Hannah's room to change into a pair of jeans and a blouse. She was just as breathtaking as she had been in the dress. Her shoulder length, brown hair was all curly and Mike loved it. He was used to seeing her with her hair up.

The cake had been cut earlier and Mike and Polly both ate a piece while visiting with the remaining guests. He helped Tom find the studs that the shadow box would have to be hung on and got his drill and a box of screws out of the garage. He would have hung it himself but Tom made the remark that if he left it to Mike, he wouldn't hang it which was probably true. Mike finally changed into his jeans and a t-shirt and threw his duffel bag in the truck with Polly's bag. Maggie and the girls insisted they go on their way. They would clean everything up. Mike hugged Sasha and Andrea, and shook Tom and Russ' hands. Before they started saying their goodbyes to the kids, Tom asked him for his realtor's phone number.

"Are you thinking about retirement?"  
"Ashley is going to be in college and Sam can adapt anywhere. Sasha and I have talked about settling somewhere calmer where people don't care what I did before the baby comes. Seems like this would be a good place."

"Well, the farm about a quarter mile south of here is for sale. Lots of land, bigger house. Not sure what you're budget is, but I wouldn't mind having you as a neighbor. Here's the number." Tom nodded at him and headed into the dining room where they were hanging the shadow box. Polly had already started her goodbyes. Gabby was being fairly clingy. Ryan would be staying overnight to help Grace with the boys and Hannah would be staying at Maggie and Alec's with the baby.

They hugged and kissed all the kids, promising them they would be home in the morning, even possibly before church. Grace promised to call if there were any problems and Maggie also promised to call. Mike and Polly both knew there would be no calls but they didn't want Grace or Maggie to feel they couldn't. There was another round of hugs and kisses for all the kids and they were essentially shooed out.

Since Polly knew the details concerning the hotel, she drove. Maggie was taking her SUV since the car seat was already set up. It was just easier. The hotel was approximately an hour away and their room was a cabin with a small kitchen. It was scenic and had a view into a river valley that was breathtaking. She had the print outs for Mike to look at.

"Well, it's beautiful. But we may not ever make it to that patio."

"The room service sold me. They leave a menu in the cabin and its twenty four hours a day. I also like the privacy."

"That is a plus."

"We'll be there in about ten minutes. I'll check us in and then it's about a five minute drive to the cabin from what I understand. They are aware this is our 'honeymoon' so to speak."

"Hence the privacy?"

"Yeah that's what the clerk I spoke to said. They call this the 'honeymoon cabin.'"

"Hmm, interesting."

"Yeah, I've seen the same pictures you have; I hope it's worth the hype. I officiated a wedding last year and the couple loved this place so we'll see. This is the turn off and here's the front desk. Be right back." Polly put the truck in park and grabbed her purse. It was very scenic. The sun would set soon and if the view was anything like the pictures, it would be beautiful. Polly walked back to him with a room key in her hand and jumped back in the truck. He grabbed her hand and kissed it. She smiled at him and started driving down a hill. As she drove, the sun was setting over the river and they could see a steeple from a church in the distance. The cabin was small and simple. She got out of the truck and took a picture with her cellphone as he grabbed the bags.

"Going to try and talk Grace into painting another picture."

"I see. Let's get inside." He grabbed her hand with his free one, kissed her and took the room key out of her hand, unlocking and opening the door. The room was pretty standard. A king sized bed, small kitchenette and table, a couch and chair on the opposite side. There were French doors leading out to the deck, showing off a beautiful view.

"Nice place."

"Yeah, it's not bad. Can I have my bag please? I would imagine you want me to change?"

"I don't mind what you're wearing but I am curious about this nightie I keep hearing about. Can you do me one favor?"

"Anything?"

"Keep your hair down? I love it."

"You bet. Do you care to shut those curtains and turn the bed down? I promise it won't take long."

"Take all the time you need. And hey, don't be nervous. You're beautiful and I love you." He pulled her in for a kiss and ran his hands through her hair. She smiled at him and nodded, heading for the bathroom. He shut the curtains, turned the bed down and got started the gas fireplace. The lights were turned low and she finally came out, wearing a big, fluffy, white robe. It made him laugh.

"The robe is an interesting touch."

"Yeah, the nightgown is underneath. It's a little skimpy and I didn't want to just walk out in it. I knew you wouldn't mind but I'm a bit modest."

"You're beautiful regardless. We can take as long as you need." She nodded again and came towards him and they started kissing. The robe came off, revealing a very pale pink lace nightgown. It was not as revealing as she thought but still caused the intended reaction. The kisses were becoming deeper and more heated and she was backing him towards the bed. His clothes were hitting the floor and he just had his boxers on.

"You lead, babe." He dropped the boxers and laid down on the bed prepared for whatever she wanted to do. He would have normally taken the lead but he wanted her to feel safe, he held his hand out to her and she took it, crawling onto the bed with him.


	60. Chapter 60

**Quite a bit of sexual innuendo at the beginning of this. Still not enough to change the setting but just be warned! Reviews are appreciated!**

 **Five Years Later**

Chapter 60

Mike started gently kissing Polly awake. She was lying on top of him with her head resting on his chest. It had been an amazing night. It was almost five am and he had stayed awake watching her sleep. She was beautiful in every way. She finally raised up and kissed him back but then wrapped her arms around his neck and laid her head on his shoulder. It made him laugh.

"If we're planning on heading home early, I thought you would want to take advantage of that room service?"

"You wore me out, big guy."

"It's mutual. I've just been enjoying my view. We don't necessarily have to leave early. I'm enjoying this."

"This right now? Me using you as a body pillow?"

"Yeah and the fact that there isn't a stitch of clothing on either of us. Are you warm enough?"

"You're like a heater. But could you pull that blanket up?"

"You bet. So about breakfast?" Mike pulled the blanket up to Polly's shoulders and rested his hands there, kissing her again.

"You hungry? We've definitely worked up an appetite. This room is a mess. Kind of shameful."

"Nah. Most of it is my clothes. I was a little surprised by you, Pastor. And yeah I'm hungry."

"Mmm. I enjoyed myself…every time. I'm going to like private mommy and daddy time. Question is, did you? You seem satisfied."

"Let me show you again…" Mike started trailing kisses down her neck, along her collarbone and to her nipples.

"Thought you were hungry?" She propped herself up on her elbows and kissed him again.

"I am but I wanted to show you how beautiful you are to me. I love you; I love your heart, your personality, your body, wow, just wow! Seriously, babe, you're perfect. Do I need to show you again? I love this…" Mike kissed her and stroked her cheek with his hand.  
"I will definitely be taking you up on that later. Many, many times. Many. But I am hungry too. Pancakes?"

"Sounds good. I need protein and electrolytes though."

"You okay?"

"Yeah. I kind of lost count of how many times but I think I hit my max."

"It was more than seven and less than ten. I lost count too but it was amazing every time. I love you too."

"It was beyond amazing. I'll order. Pancakes and fruit for you?"

"Yeah. I need to try and diet."

"Nope, you're perfect. As far as I'm concerned, you don't need to lose a pound." Polly finally sit up, leaned over and kissed Mike, found her robe on the floor and threw Mike his boxers with a laugh. She tied the robe and sit down next to him again, leaning over to kiss him. He slid a hand into the front of the robe, stroking a nipple with his thumb.

"Keep that up and we'll break our promise to the kids."

"We just told them we might be home before church. No promise. We did do some very unchurch like things earlier."

"We're married. It's okay."

"I wondered." Mike's stomach growled which caused them both to laugh. They kissed again and she stood up, throwing the blanket back over Mike and heading to the bathroom. He thought about following her but decided food was a requirement. He got up and put the boxers on and found the menu. He called and ordered Polly her pancakes and fruit, and bacon and eggs, sausage, biscuits and gravy and coffee. He checked his phone and was not shocked to see that there were no calls or texts from the kids. He was missing them. He was scrolling through pictures on his cellphone of them when Polly came up behind him, wrapping her arms around him and kissed his shoulder blade.

"You're missing them too?"

"Yeah, I know it's stupid. I've enjoyed this time with you but I was gone so much that being away from them for even a night is rough."

"It isn't stupid. You love them and I love that about you. We eat breakfast, you take a shower and I'll clean this mess up, then we head home."

"You sure?"

"They're my kids too and I love them as much as you do. It's been an incredible night but it's time to get home to our kids."

"I love you."

"I love you too."

"I'm gonna take my shower and shave since you won't let me grow a beard. I sit my credit card on the table. I'll help you clean this mess up." He turned around and kissed her. She was dressed and her make-up was done, her hair was down and curling around his fingers.

"I knew that as soon as we ate, we'd both want to get home. Am I wrong?"

"No. I love when you wear your hair like this."

"Gabby likes to grab it. That's why I don't. Now, go. I'm missing them too."

"Yes, boss." He kissed her again and headed towards the bathroom. He quickly showered and shaved. He hurried when he heard the knock on the door and the breakfast tray wheeled in and Polly talking to the person who delivered it. When he came back in the main area, the clothes had all been picked up and the bed stripped. Both their bags were on the end of the bed and the curtains were opened with the French doors open.

"Sun is rising soon. It's fairly warm so I figured we'd go out on the deck and watch the sunrise. I went ahead and stripped the bed and put the bedding out by the door. Room service person said the maid would come through when we checked out and I wanted to make their job easier. Soon as we eat, we can leave. You must have been hungry. I am stealing some of your bacon by the way."

"That's why I ordered so much. Figured you needed some protein too."

"Probably. We definitely can't make this a habit."

"Eating like this? Or the reason we're eating like this? I definitely want the reason to be a habit."

"Probably not to the extent we did last night. We'll be exhausted constantly and the boys will be upset if the bedroom door is always closed and locked." They had moved everything out to the deck and settled on the chairs, the sky had lightened up and the sun was rising.

"Always the voice of reason. Last night was definitely amazing and exhausting. The number is definitely ten by the way. Maybe eleven."

"The number of times we…?"

"Yeah. I remembered while I was in the shower. I think you forgot that time while you were on my lap on the edge of the bed."

"I didn't forget it. Just forgot to include it. And the time in the shower?"

"Yeah, that maybe eleven. Definitely my max."

"How about I book a first anniversary trip down here and we go for a dozen?"

"Over how many nights?"

"Probably one. Since neither of us likes being away from the kids."

"At the rate we went last night, we could have another one by then."

"We weren't careful. I didn't notice any preventative measures in your bag, not that we would have used them."

"No. I kind of forgot to pack them. I was just glad that you didn't ask for them."

"Would have slowed us down. I also know you kind of want a baby."

"I am. But I also know you want to wait until Gabby is a bit older. Sorry."

"I didn't mind. I'll be thrilled when we do get pregnant. If it was last night or later down the road, I will be thrilled."

"Good. I will love being there every day. Through the pregnancy and throughout the childhood. I've missed out on a lot with my older kids."

"You're with them now. Focus on that. I know it sounds odd but I think it makes you a better father. You appreciate the little moments. Helping with homework, playing catch, Gabby's kisses, the hugs. Definitely someone I will love having a baby with. Can I have a piece of that sausage?"

"Sure. Eating for a baby? Not that I mind. You can eat whatever you want." He handed her the plate of sausage and stole one of her strawberries off her pancakes.

"I like sausage. Baby or not. Did you just put syrup on your scrambled eggs?"

"Uh…yeah. I mix the bacon and sausage in too. It's good. I mix weird foods together."

"I do the same thing. Maggie thinks it's weird. I love it. Give me a bite?" Mike chuckled and fed Polly a bite, kissing her afterwards. The sun was rising and was beautiful.

"Makes us even more compatible."

"Fruit roll ups and ranch dressing?"

"I'd have to try it. Guacamole and popcorn?"

"Chocolate milk with regular potato chips mixed it?"

"How do you not choke on them? You've got me beat."

"Crumbs."

"Gotcha. Matty has apparently inherited my taste in food. Ketchup on mashed potatoes."

"Hannah too. She was eating black olives and chocolate chips the other night."

"That is odd."

"It's good. I tried it. Then she put chocolate syrup in tomato soup. I was done."

"Oh it's good. I guess I hadn't noticed her doing that stuff."

"I thought it was hilarious to watch. I think Grace was going to be sick."

"She never liked food mixed together."

"Well breakfast is done. Ready to go?"

"Yep. You?"

"I am. The room service person just said to stack this stuff up on the table in there." They carried the trays, cups and plates into the cabin and put them on the table. Mike carried their bags to the truck while Polly made sure the room was clean enough and grabbed the room keys, meeting him at the truck. They drove to the lobby and before Polly got out she asked about making reservations for their anniversary. He nodded and she jumped out. He decided to text Grace to let her know they were headed home.

 _"Morning, sweetie. We're headed home."_

 _"It's not even seven!"_

 _"Did I wake you up?"_

 _"No. It stormed. The boys have been awake most of the night. Didn't it storm there? I thought you guys were close?"_

 _"About an hour away. I didn't notice it storming."_

 _"I don't want to know anything else."_

 _"Sorry about the boys."_

 _"Max was okay once I put them in my bed but Matty was scared. He hates storms."_

 _"Yeah, I know. I feel bad now."_

 _"It's okay."_

 _"Okay, Polly is getting back in the truck. We'll be home in about forty five minutes to an hour. Thank you for staying with them. I love you."_

 _"I love you too. Are you picking Hannah and Gabby up?"_

 _"Yeah. I'll drop Polly off at Maggie's and head home so you can sleep."_

 _"Okay, drive safe."_

 _"Will do."_

"The boys had a rough night. It stormed. I figured I would take you to Maggie and Alec's to pick up your vehicle and Gabby. I can take Hannah or you can. Grace is exhausted."

"Oh, poor girl. I hate that. I'll text Maggie. Max hates storms."

"She said Max settled down once she moved them into her room. Matty didn't. Did it storm here?"

"I was a little distracted. I think I heard thunder at some point. I slept but you didn't?"

"No. I was enjoying my view."

"Smooth. I'll text Maggie."

 _"We are headed home. How are the girls? Boys had a rough night."_

 _"Little early? Gabby is definitely teething and Hannah has had a headache from that wound on her head. She's resting now. She tried to help with Gabby but her head was really bothering her."_

 _"We were both missing the kids. I feel bad now."_

 _"It's okay. Long as you and Mike enjoyed yourselves? Can I expect a new niece or nephew in nine months?"_

 _"It was a great night and we're leaving that there. We'll be there in about forty five minutes. Mike's driving leaves something to be desired."_

 _"Okay. Well he couldn't be perfect. Love you, be safe."_

 _"Love you too."_

"Apparently the girls had a rough night too. Gabby's teething and Hannah has a bad headache from that wound on her head. She's resting now, she tried to help but it finally got her."

"Well, crud. Poor girls."

"I think skipping church and naptime is a good idea for all of us."

"I agree. You'll be okay to skip?"

"Yeah. Youth pastor and Melody are covering for me."

"Good." The rest of the trip, they discussed their lengthy to-do list and Polly made a list in her planner. Moving was on the top of the list, combining accounts, putting each other's names on paperwork, adoption proceedings, developing a routine as a family.

They pulled up to Maggie and Alec's and got out walking inside without knocking. Maggie was in the kitchen with Gabby and Hannah was on the couch, sound asleep.

"I just didn't want to wake her up. The way she described it, it sounded like a migraine. Was that a complication?"

"The doctor said it was possible. There was no skull fracture but the bullet did kind of skid along the skull. I'll wake her up." Polly was holding Gabby and Mike reached over and tickled her tummy which earned him a giggle. Alec was on a call and Ryan was over with Grace and the boys. Mike knelt down next to the couch and smoothed Hannah's hair away from her face. Her coloring was good and she was breathing normally.

"Sissy, time to wake up." Hannah opened her eyes and immediately squeezed them shut again like the light was bothering her. He messaged her temple like the doctor had told him to do when Grace had her headaches. Hannah opened her eyes again after a couple minutes, her smile was a little weak and wobbly but it was at least a smile. She slowly sit up with Mike's help and he sit down next to her, wrapping his arm around her.

"Sorry, Daddy. I tried to help with Gabby. I hope you didn't come back early because of me?"

"No. Polly and I both missed you kids. That's why. You ready to go home?"

"Yeah. I missed you guys too."

Mike helped her up and pulled her close when she swayed a little. Polly was packing both girls stuff up and so Mike opted to take her vehicle back to the house. He would take both girls with him and then once Polly got back, he would drive Ryan home. He wanted to get Hannah settled, Gabby appeased, and get Grace and the boys to nap. Hannah hugged Maggie and apologized for not helping much. Maggie was worried about her and just kissed her on the cheek. Polly helped him with Gabby since Hannah was so unsteady. After getting both girls fastened in, they kissed and she headed back into Maggie's. Hannah had fallen back to sleep and Gabby was babbling.

"Dada, Dada, Dada!"

"I hear you, Gabby."

"Dada, Dada!" Mike laughed and Hannah woke back up and smiled back at Gabby.

"Gabby, say 'I love you, Dada.'"

"Sweetie, it'll be awhile before she can say a sentence like that. I will love to hear it when she does…"

"Lup ew, Dada!"

"Good girl! Gabby say 'I love you, Mamma.'"

"Lup ew, Mamma!" Mike was shocked. Gabby was only six months old.

"Gabby, can you say 'I love you, Sissy?'" He smiled over at Hannah.

"Lup ew, Sissy!"

"Daddy, we need to teach her everyone else's names. It's not fair that she only says ours."

"We will. How's your head?"

"A little sore still."

"When we get home, I want us to all try and nap. The boys and Grace had a rough night too."

"It stormed, that's why Alec was out. There was a tornado on the east end of the county."

"Maggie didn't say anything, any injuries? I feel really bad now."

"It's okay. I don't think anyone was hurt. I hope I get to feeling better so I could go and help those people. Someone's house was destroyed."

"Sweetie, I love your heart but you need to rest. You do enough."

"Enough is never enough. People need help."

"And there will be plenty of people to help them. That's what Alec is doing. You were in a serious accident just a couple weeks ago and you almost didn't live, your liver is still growing back and then you were shot last week. You need a break. I love you for wanting to help those people but I will put my foot down on this one. If it makes you mad, I'm sorry, but it's only because I love you and I don't want you overdoing it."

"Okay, Daddy, I love you. I saved up my allowance, maybe I can get those people that lost their house something, and I can give it to Alec to give to them. Would that be okay?"

"Yeah. I would be okay with that. I love you too. We're home. Don't get out of the vehicle until I come around."

"Okay." Mike took the sleeping baby out of her car seat and went around to help Hannah. She was still very unsteady and getting her up the steps was interesting at best. Fortunately a very tired looking Grace finally came out and took Gabby from Mike, allowing him to help Hannah up the steps. Once inside, both boys ran up to him wanting hugs, Matty hung onto him like he was terrified to let him go.

"It stormed really bad last night, Daddy. I was scared. I know you said that it was like Mommy was hugging me but I wanted you here too."

"I'm sorry, Matty. I am. Grace is putting Gabby in her crib and Hannah is going to go to sleep on the couch. How about you boys sit down here in the chair with me?"

"When's Mommy gonna be here?"

"She just pulled in, Max. Ryan, let me get the boys settled and I will run you home."

"It's okay, sir. I just got off the phone with Dad. He's gonna pick me up on the way home. He's almost back to town now."

"Okay, that works. Grace, I know you probably want to go back to your apartment but you're exhausted. I would feel better if you stayed here and napped for a couple hours before you drive."

"Okay, I was kind of planning on that anyway. I'll help Polly."

Max was waiting on his mom to come in and so Matty curled up on his lap. Hannah had settled and was already asleep and Ryan had sat back down in the kitchen with a college textbook. Polly and Grace came in with a couple extra bags of stuff for Max and Gabby. Alec came in to get Ryan and Mike explained what Hannah wanted to do. He would check with the family to see what their needs were. After Ryan and Alec left, Grace laid down in her room to nap, Polly settled on the opposite end of the couch with Max, Gabby was in her portable crib and Matty was sound asleep, clinging to Mike. Max was more or less doing the same thing to Polly. Mike leaned the chair back, kissed Matty's forehead, wrapped a blanket around him and quickly fell asleep as well.


	61. Chapter 61

**Five Years Later**

Chapter 61

The next month went by incredibly fast. Mike and Polly met with an attorney to get adoption proceedings started for Max and Gabby; all of Polly's belongings were moved in and incorporated. Names were added to accounts and a routine was established. Mike was a bit saddened when he had to move Grace's bed into the garage so that Gabby could have the room to herself. Grace hadn't stayed at Mike and Polly's and it didn't make sense to keep the bed in the bedroom. Mike had already called for quotes from contractors to build on two bedrooms and another bathroom.

He had checked into the camp where Hannah wanted to help at. She could take a break midway through but they didn't like their counselors to have a lot of visitors because the kids didn't have a lot of visitors. She had a couple doctor's appointments that she needed to go to in late June so that would be when she would have her break. Her birthday was June 15th and Mike and Polly would not be able to visit which upset Mike greatly. Hannah was okay with everything and if she wasn't as excited, Mike would have objected to her going. She would be able to call, email and text and the camp director had agreed to let her have a video chat the day of her birthday. She was thrilled with everything, Mike was a lot less so. He was absolutely terrified that it would hurt their relationship. While it was getting stronger every day, he still felt it was delicate and it was something that he treasured greatly. She was on the honor roll and they visited with Jeremy every Sunday when Mike and Hannah had their time together. She had also raised a lot of money for the tornado victims and still helped with the Special Olympics events. Hannah had also helped Polly set up a sensory room at church for children with sensory disorders such as autism. She loved helping in there.

Grace had started college classes and loved them. She was doing incredibly well and had already enrolled in the fall semester. Mike and Polly had given her money for a computer and printer for her birthday. She still didn't like asking for help and she hated when Mike just covered something. It had caused a huge argument. In the month that she stayed at her apartment, she had only called Mike one time scared in the middle of the night and she had actually called Polly, not Mike. Mike and she had had the argument about Mike paying her tuition and they hadn't talked in almost a week. She called Polly panicking because she heard a loud banging noise and was terrified. Polly woke Mike up and sent him in. As soon as he pulled up, he heard the lid of a dumpster opening and shutting, creating a loud noise. He weighted the lid down and was just going to call Polly to call Grace and let her know all was fine. She refused and told him to go talk to Grace. Grace had said some hurtful things during the argument and while he didn't want her scared, he wasn't sure he was ready to face her. He started to unlock her door and then realized the chain was attached. She would have to let him in.

"Gracie, it's me. Undo the chain." He heard the chain being undone and as soon as he opened the door, Grace threw herself at him. She was absolutely terrified. He held her for a few minutes and let her cry. They were sitting on the couch and she had her head on his chest and her arms around him.

"Alec and Kirk are both on a call with all the other deputies and Ryan is in St. Louis. I didn't know if you would even come in so I called Polly. I don't know what I thought she could do but…"

"Sshh. It's okay. It was the dumpster lid opening and shutting in the wind. I can see how it scared you. And of course I would come in."

"But I was really mean to you when you told me you were paying my tuition. Even Ryan told me I was wrong."

"Doesn't mean I want you scared. If everything was normal, I would be paying for your college so I feel it's my responsibility. Now, do you want to go back to my house? I can take you to work in the morning when I bring the kids to school. Not sure you'll sleep now."

"Thanks, Daddy. I am sorry for what I said. I love you. I think I want to stay here but can you stay until I go to sleep?"

"I love you too. And of course. Don't worry about what was said. I am still paying your tuition. You can cover the books, how's that?"

"Okay. I'm gonna go lay down."

Mike helped her get settled and rubbed her back until she fell asleep. He tucked the blankets around her and kissed her on the cheek. He doubled checked the backdoor and locked the front door behind him. Before he left he did a walk around the building, texted Alec that all was okay and headed home. Polly was sleeping in the middle of their bed when he walked in and so as soon as he undressed and laid down, she curled around him. He kissed her and settled in.

"Grace okay?"

"Yeah. It was a dumpster lid. I can see why she would be scared. I stayed with her until she fell asleep. Offered to bring her here but she refused. Just wanted me to stay until she went to sleep."

"Did you talk?"

"A little. I made it clear we would pay for the tuition but she can pay for the books. She was scared because I was upset with her, I wouldn't go in."

"That's why I refused to call her. You needed to talk to her."

"She's twenty. You'd think I would get this parenting thing figured out."

"You're doing great. Having an adult daughter is not easy. Besides Hannah being gone for six weeks is bothering you too. And the boys will be gone for a week for church camp and I will be gone for two at camp. It'll just be you and Gabby for a whole week."

"Don't remind me. Two weeks without this…" Mike slid a hand under Polly's t-shirt. She moaned and smiled at him, rolling over on top of him. She sit up and pulled the shirt off, straddling him.

"Door locked?"

"Yes, ma'am. This is becoming such a habit that we need to just lock that door automatically. Boys are doing pretty well." Polly nodded and kissed him and then rolled onto her back. Mike was helping her with the remainder of her clothes and took his boxers off when he realized she was wearing socks which caused him to laugh.

"Socks? Hunting socks? In May?"

"My feet are cold. Are you going to take those off?"

"They aren't very sexy but I suppose I can leave them on."

"That's a good husband."

"I have a great wife." Mike started kissing his way up her body, already knowing the strategic spots that would make Polly crazy. And judging by the moans and the way her hands had the sheets fisted up, he was doing well. He'd had quite a lot of practice over the last month.

An hour later, they were laying in each other's arms with the sheets tangled around them. Polly was cold natured and had already pulled her pajamas back on and Mike had put his boxers on and the door had been unlocked. Matty had the odd habit of wanting to wake up about five and spend the rest of the night with them. Max would sometimes wake up when Matty left their room and would follow him in. Gabby slept until whenever she wanted to. Sometimes not waking up until nine or ten. Polly had her head on Mike's chest but was wide awake.

"I must be losing my touch. You usually sleep afterwards." Mike curled her hair with his fingers and kissed her.

"I'm just going through my to-do list."

"Anything I can help with?"

"Get camp forms collected, make sure all the kids have their money in, take Gabby to her doctor's appointment, pee on a stick, find an ob-gyn, try and ignore Max when he tries to convince me to get his own puppy, help Hannah pack, Grace wants me to help her pick out wedding gowns, and…"

"Wait, what? Wedding gowns? She didn't say anything about that? I'm hurt."

"She didn't tell me either but it's only a matter of time. You missed another important thing I said. Think…" Mike was stumped and Polly had propped herself up on her elbow while Mike was thinking.

"I'll help you. I need to pee on a stick this morning and I need to find a doctor to deliver a baby."

"I'm confused. Why would you need to pee on a stick to find a doctor to deliver…a…baby?! A baby!"

"That was hilarious. Did Christine not use home pregnancy tests?"

"Yeah, she did. She did for both girls. I wasn't computing. Was still on the wedding gown thing. Grace doesn't need to pee on a stick and find a doctor does she? I will kill Ryan, slowly. I know he's your nephew but…"

"Where on Earth did that come from? Ryan had nothing to do with this one. It was all you and me, and God. I'm pregnant, you big dinosaur!"

Mike let out a whoop of excitement that could have woke the house up and pulled Polly back on top of him kissing her, and had his hands over her stomach. He was beyond thrilled.

"I need to confirm it, but I'm a thousand percent sure. I've missed my period which only happened when I was pregnant with Max and Gabby. I'm craving normal food and earlier when you were kissing and sucking my nipples, they were sore. I've also gained a couple pounds over the last week."

"You should have stopped me. I hate that I caused you pain. I didn't hurt the baby did I?"

"They were sore but it still felt good. I love it when you do that. As far as the baby is concerned, we'll just have to be gentle. Surely you and Christine had sex when she was pregnant?"

"Weird conversation? And no, we didn't. I was scared to."

"Well, no reason to be scared. It's normal. The doctor I had when I was pregnant with Gabby told all her patients it was completely normal to have sex throughout the pregnancy as long as they felt comfortable with it. It will sometimes make the labor easier, which I know you're really worried about."

"Anything to make that easier. So Grace isn't engaged or pregnant?"

"You're a mess. If she is, she didn't tell me and I would suspect she would tell you that she was at least engaged first. Besides, despite the fact that you threatened to kill him just a couple minutes ago, Ryan thinks the world of you and I am pretty sure he would come to you first before asking her. He's big on traditions."

"I've already given them my blessing."

"I know. But Ryan is a traditionalist. He will still come to you and ask for Grace's hand before he ever asks. I know my nephew. "

"Who will be your son-in-law?"

"True. That's weird. Listen, I don't want to make any huge announcements about the baby until we've at least been to the doctor."

"Of course. When do you pee on that stick?"

"Right now is a good time. Be right back." She kissed him on the cheek and got out of bed. She was in the bathroom for what seemed like an eternity and finally walked out and handed Mike five pregnancy tests. They all had plus signs on them. He pulled her onto his lap and started kissing again. Things were heating up and his hands were starting to wonder under her shirt when Matty knocked on the door, they both laughed and she stood up to let him in.

"Daddy, can I sleep in here with you and Polly? Please?"

"Yeah, come here, buddy." He discreetly handed Polly the pregnancy tests that he had sit on the nightstand and stood up and picked Matty up. She quickly straightened out the bed because the sheets were twisted every which way and the blanket was on the floor. Mike laid down and Matty settled on one side of his chest. Polly and Matty had it worked out that they each got a side and Mike ended up under both of them. When Max stayed with them, he liked to sleep on Polly's other side so it worked out. It didn't take long Matty very long to fall back asleep and Polly was getting sleepy again. Mike's hand was on her stomach and she grinned up at him.

"Matty is going to have a rough time at camp."

"Dad is going to have a rough time when Matty, Max and their mom are at camp. I'll miss this. Sure you don't mind him sleeping in here? Max doesn't nearly as often."

"Mike, he's still bonding with you. You've been in his life for two months. There will come a time that he doesn't do this and you'll miss it. Enjoy it. It's part of a lifelong bond. You told me the other day that you respect Alec for his relationship with his adult son? Ryan still seeks Alec out for comfort because Alec made it a point to never hesitate to do this. You want that with Matty and Max and this is how you do it. I don't mind it at all. As far as Max? He loves you but he isn't as cuddly as Matty."

"I suppose. It's hard having an adult child. I was thrilled when Grace let me hug her and comfort her earlier, despite having been so angry with me."

"I knew she would want you to hug her and I knew you would despite being hurt. You both are stubborn and were taking the being angry and hurt a bit too far. Not talking to your daughter for a week? Not good."

"And so when she called you, you decided to end it?"

"Well yeah. I knew you would never let me go on my own and if I got up, you'd wake up. It needed to be you that went. Now, I know you skipped out on your lunches with her this last week. It's not your regular day, but why don't you take lunch to her office? I think she's feeling a bit left out on family stuff."

"Yeah and I don't want that. I want her to feel that she is a part of this family. Moving the bed out communicated that she didn't have a spot here. Probably not one of my better ideas."

"She understood. As long as she knows that she has a spot in our hearts, that's what matters. Not talking to her for a week was beginning to communicate that she didn't."

"Had she said something?"

"She talks to Ryan, Ryan told Maggie and Maggie told me. I don't have specifics. I just know she told Ryan that you didn't seem to have time for her anymore."

"Crap. I hate that she feels that way."

"Well you staying with her until she fell asleep may have helped but I think you need to make more of an effort with her. Maggie said she would keep the younger kids so you could spend some time with her this evening. It's Hannah and I's night tonight. And Maggie is making sure Grace is off tonight from the restaurant. You just have to do the rest."

"I don't suppose you can tell me what to do with her?"

"Take the time with her. She mentioned to Alec that you hadn't taken her to the range yet to work with that gun. Do that."

"Yes, boss. It did kind of hurt that she called everyone else before she asked for my help…or your help rather."

"I think when she called me; she knew she would get you. As far as her calling everyone else, you kind of brought that on yourself. She was beginning to think that she couldn't depend on you so she called the people she knew that she could depend on. Only problem was, they were busy."

"Yeah I know. I just wish I was her first call. I know Alec has practically been the only father she's had for the past six years, Ryan and she are engaged…or practically, and Kirk is like a brother but I am her dad. I know it's stupid. I just want to be her first call, at least until she and Ryan are married."

"I get it. The most important man in a girl's life should be her father, until she gets married. But not in Grace's case. It will be with Hannah and Gabby but Grace? She had to learn to depend on herself and Alec and Maggie. Then Ryan and Kirk. Christine wasn't the only one you went through the grieving process for. You went through it for Hannah and Grace too. Only God had other plans. And Grace had gone through that grieving process for you. I hate to say it, but in some ways she replaced you with Alec. And now you're back and it's confusing to her. Alec has made a point to take a backseat but it's still hard."

"Uh, yucky. I don't love the idea that my daughter replaced me. But you're right."

"I'm not sure replaced is the right word. She found a different father figure maybe? It was actually healthy for her to do. Until you showed back up and now it's just confusing."

"No, replaced is the right word. So what do I do? I know going a week or more without talking to her isn't a good idea."

"We look back over that schedule. Find more room for Grace. It can be done. There is something else that she told Ryan. He didn't want you to know because he knew it would hurt."

"What?"

"They aren't engaged but they are talking to Pastor John. She told Ryan that she was thinking of having Alec give her away when they do get married. Maggie mentioned it to Alec and he is going to refuse."

"Ouch. Why?"

"Ryan told Maggie it wasn't long after the argument about the tuition so it might have been out of emotion. Ryan immediately told her that it was not a good idea and it would hurt you badly, and even potentially destroy your relationship with her. Alec hasn't talked to her because he wanted for her to drop the idea but he is adamantly against it."

"So how do I fix that?"

"You don't mention Alec but make a point to tell her how much you're looking forward to giving her away."

"I'm not."

"But you don't tell her that."

"So what?"

"Just let her know that you love her and want to be a part of that day. It will make you feel better that she hasn't brought it back up. I don't want you to confront her with it either, just mention it indirectly. Also, when you take her lunch today, remember when you gave Hannah those flowers? Good idea with Grace too. No locket though. Just flowers and she likes lilies."

"Yes, boss. I love you. You should try and sleep. I'll handle the school routine."

"I love you too." She leaned up and kissed Mike and then kissed Matty on the forehead, tucking the blanket over him. Polly was asleep in no time but Mike didn't fall back to sleep. It had hurt badly that Grace was even considering that Mike not be the one to give her away. Polly was, as always, right. He couldn't confront it but he would definitely be communicating how much he wanted to be the one to do that job. He looked over at Polly's nightstand where there was a picture that was taken on their wedding day. It was of him and Grace. She was holding Gabby and was looking up at Mike and they were both laughing. It was a sweet picture that he loved.


	62. Chapter 62

**Five Years Later**

Chapter 62

As Mike walked through the Sheriff's office with Grace's lunch and a vase of roses and lilies that Polly had helped him pick out, Kirk caught him and grabbed for the flowers.

"How'd you know, Mike? I need these!" Alec was laughing into his hand and looked over at Mike.

"Kirk screwed up and forgot his wife's birthday. Abbie is pretty upset. He's in the dog house."

"Oh bad move, Kirk. Flowers aren't going to fix that."

"So what do I do?"

"You're off this Friday night and you're in-laws can keep the baby?"

"Yeah. But Abbie is super mad."

"Flowers, chocolates, dinner, buy her some piece of jewelry. Not to be too personal but can you afford a night away from home?"

"Not really."

"Okay, flowers, candy, cook her dinner and buy her jewelry. A nice handwritten card will help too."

"I can't cook…"

"I'll call Maggie, and have her give you a lesson before then. That should put you back in her good graces again. Just remember her birthday next year. She's the mother of your son, kid. It's not rocket science and I know Abbie. She's not hard to get along with." Alec shook his head at Kirk as the young deputy walked away.

"Good kid. Just a little forgetful. So I know you didn't bring me flowers?"

"Nope, I'm in the doghouse with Grace and Polly told me to buy her flowers and lunch."

"There are advantages to just having a son. McKenna would get upset with me too when she was alive. Boys are easy."

"I was kind of in the wrong on this one."

"The tuition thing? Ryan told me."

"Yeah. And I didn't talk to her for about a week before last night."

"Yeah, she's been in a mood all week. She made the new deputy cry yesterday."

"Oh wow. How? Why? This is a grown man, right?"

"Yeah. Not sure he's gonna work out. She did kind of have a point but she wasn't exactly delicate in the way she presented it."

"I always had that issue when I was in the Navy."

"So you're to blame?"

"A little. Okay, maybe a lot. Polly told me about her wanting you to give her away when she and Ryan get married."

"Uh…that wasn't supposed to get back to you. I will refuse it. If it was my daughter, I would be absolutely destroyed if she even considered another man to give her away. That's your job. My job is to watch my son get married."

"Thank you. I'm not mad at you. She has a point. You and Maggie practically raised her. It would be right…"

"No. It wouldn't. Maggie and I only helped her because it was the right thing to do. Don't get me wrong, we love those kids, but they are your kids. And I told her that much."

"So she talked to you about it? Polly thought she hadn't."

"Yeah, she did. Yesterday. I told her it was a bad idea. And when she called me last night about the noise, I told her to call you. I was on a call and Kirk and the deputies were with me."

"She called Polly instead. Polly woke me up."

"She was afraid that you wouldn't go check it out and knew Polly would make you."

"Going and checking it out was not a problem, but then I tried to have Polly call her. That didn't quite work."

"Grace told me this morning you stayed with her until she fell asleep?"

"Yeah."

"It helped. Now, please don't tell her that I told you about asking me to give her away. Go in and get yourself out of that doghouse before you put yourself in a doghouse with your own wife and my wife."

"Yeah, that scares me."

"I've been in it. It's not pleasant. Polly and Maggie are very passive aggressive. Tell Grace I say it's time for a lunch break."

"I would love to hear that story at some point."

"Maybe when you accept my job offer. Surely your own daughter won't make you cry?"

"Don't make any bets on that." Mike said as he walked towards Grace's office. The truth was, knowing that she had spoken to Alec about it, really bothered him. Her door was open but he knocked on the doorframe anyway. She looked up at him and smiled slightly. He sit the lunch down on her desk and then took the flowers from behind his back and she looked at him shocked as he sit the on her cabinet.

"They're pretty but what are they for?" Mike took a deep breath and shut her office door. Alec was wrong about Grace not making him cry. When he turned around, she saw the tears in his eyes and immediately stood up and hugged him.

"Is everything okay? Polly, the kids?"

"They're fine."

"So what's wrong? You're scaring me." Mike took another deep breath, kissed her on the forehead, wiped the tears and sit down on the bench that was sitting in her office. She sit down next to him, still looking completely confused and he took her hand.

"Grace, from the moment you were born, I've dreamed of seeing you in your wedding dress and giving you away. Dancing with you at your wedding reception. I knew I wouldn't like it very well but it's something I've dreamed about, I would love doing that for you. And when I couldn't find you guys, it was nightmares about not being able to ever do that. I caught wind of you thinking about having Alec give you away when you and Ryan get married. I understand why you would want him to, but I have one question to ask you, do you really want to take my dream away? I know that I've screwed things up with you, a lot of times but I love you and I am your father. I appreciate what Alec has done for you and I will be forever grateful for him stepping into the role while I was away but I am back. For good. I was completely in the wrong for not talking to you this last week and I will admit that and you can be mad about it. But please, please, please, let me be the one to walk you down the aisle. Don't turn my dream into a nightmare."

"I…ah…um…I didn't realize you felt that strongly about it. Alec refused. I...It's just that you've been so busy. You and I didn't meet for lunch at all this week, and you cancelled one of our lunches the week before. I know you and Polly have been busy and I didn't seem to fit in anymore. I was beginning to wonder if you didn't want me around anymore…"

"What did I do that gave you that idea? I know we've seemed busy and cancelling our lunches wasn't one of my better ideas."

"That. And I know it was necessary but realizing I didn't really have a place at your house anymore. When you asked me last night if I wanted to stay there, I really wanted to, but I knew you had moved my bed and there was nowhere for me. Granted, I could have slept on the couch but I was scared and I wanted to be close to you all. It was easier to just say no than explain that."

"I wish you had. It explains you wanting me to stay there until you fell asleep. I want you there with us anytime you want to be. Don't ever hesitate to ask. I'll move the bed back in and I have an appointment with a contractor to build a couple bedrooms on. As far as not seeming to have time for you anymore, you're right. I've made it seem that way but I promise it was not intentional. You are my daughter and I love you. I would move heaven and earth for you. It bothered me to move that bed out. A lot. Coupled with Hannah being away for six weeks and the boys will be gone for a week. I love all of you guys and I know it sounds stupid but I love it when you guys need me. Need me to hold you, comfort you, and keep the monsters away. And you don't need that anymore. The one thing that you will need is for someone to walk you down the aisle to Ryan and so it really hurt when I found out you didn't want me to do that for you. I've missed out on so much where you're concerned, some of it you've missed out on too but I didn't get to see you become the amazing woman you are, didn't get to teach you to drive, or any of those things. To you, it's insignificant but to me, it's huge. To have one more thing taken? It hurt badly, Grace. I want to be the one to walk you down the aisle and dance with you at the reception. I am not issuing you an ultimatum, but if you choose to have Alec do that, I'm not sure I can even be at the wedding. I love you and I will always love you. The decision is ultimately yours. I'm not sure what our relationship will be like if you choose Alec over me. I want the relationship and I do love you and want you in my life. But you have some thinking to do and I will leave you to it. Your lunch is sitting there and the flowers are my way of apologizing for not talking this week. Let me know you're answer when you're ready but I do want you to think about it, at least overnight."

Mike stood up, leaned down and kissed the top of Grace's head and walked out of the room before she spoke. He drove home and was relieved to see Polly's SUV in the drive. When he walked inside he heard Gabby babbling in her crib and Polly's voice trying to sing her to sleep. He stood in the doorframe and watched them for a couple minutes and finally tapped on the door to let Polly know he was close. Gabby was drifting off and he didn't want her to wake up again. Polly looked up at him and smiled and walked towards him.

"Hey, how'd lunch go?"

"Not real well. She had asked Alec to give her away. He told me. I didn't let her know I knew she'd asked him but I made it clear I wanted to be the one to walk her down the aisle. Told her she had a choice to make and if she choose Alec, I wasn't sure I wanted to be at the wedding and I wasn't sure what our relationship would be like after."

"Oh, Mike."

"It hurt. I would have been okay until Alec told me."

"I can imagine. Did you give her a deadline?"

"I told her to think about it at least overnight. Am I wrong for this?"

"No. If it had just been her mentioning it to Ryan then yes, but she talked to Alec. It definitely crossed a line. Maggie called me and told me while you were out but it was too late to warn you and I didn't want to open a wound if Alec didn't tell you. Can I ask what you'll do if she decides that Alec will be the one to walk her down the aisle?"

"I made it clear that I will still love her. Beyond that, I don't know. I have no idea what sort of relationship we would have."

"I wish I had an answer for you."

"I don't think there is one. Even if she decides that I need to give her away; the fact that she even considered someone else will always be there."

"So what now?"

"Just wait for her answer. I won't push her into a decision. I may have guilt tripped her a bit but I won't pressure her further."

"Maggie said Alec told her no."

"Yeah, he told me that. And I appreciate that."

"He feels absolutely horribly. He's had a daughter and understands the emotions at play. When McKenna died, he lost the chance of giving her away at her wedding and he felt…robbed? He doesn't want to take that away from you."

"Maybe I should just let him. Not fight it. I hadn't thought about McKenna. I know I feel robbed of a lot of things with Lucas. Maggie and Alec have done a lot for my kids and it would be a chance to give something back."

"I don't think Alec would be able to do it. He adores the kids but he knows it's your place. And it's his place to watch his son get married."

"That's what he said too. I don't think he wants to confuse the roles."

"Mike, I love you and I really want to stay here with you and work through this but I need to go back to the church. You got Gabby? And the boys and Hannah? I told Maggie you may not feel up to take Grace tonight. I can still take Hannah out tonight."

"I'll be okay and yeah I have the kids. I love you too." They had been talking in the living room and Polly got up off the couch and kissed him. She left and he checked on the sleeping Gabby. He rubbed her belly and she grabbed his hand in her sleep. He stood still for a moment until he knew she wasn't going to wake up. It wouldn't hurt his feelings if she woke up because it would mean he could cuddle with her until it was time to get the kids from school but she really needed to get her nap out. She would be a grouch without it.

He spent his afternoon looking through the wedding pictures that they had gotten the day before. There had been a few snapshots like the one on Polly's nightstand but they had received the actual wedding album from the photographer the day before. The photographer had taken a picture of him and Grace together, where he was kissing her forehead and had both hands on her shoulders. It had been a sweet moment that he would always treasure. Gabby woke up just before two and by the time he got her diaper changed and situated, it was time to pick the boys up. He would take them to the store to pick out a movie and snacks for the night and then pick up Hannah. He was looking forward to a night with the two boys. Gabby would be there but she would fine in her bouncy seat. Max was not as cuddly but Mike was looking especially forward to Matty's cuddles and he would convince Max to cuddle too. The boys were waiting for him at the curb with their teacher and they both hugged Mike as soon as they saw him.

"So, before we pick Hannah up, I thought we'd pick a movie out and some snacks. Mom is going to be with Hannah so we'll have Gabby but I want a night with you boys."

"Okay, Daddy. Can we get a frozen pizza? And popcorn?"

"Yeah, I think we can do that, Max. Matty, what do you think?"

"Sounds good." Mike looked in the rearview mirror and the little boy seemed downcast about something.

"Matty, what's wrong?"

"I miss Grace. She left before we had dinner last Sunday because you guys got in a fight. She had a special presentation at my class today about calling 911 and when I hugged her, she told me she wasn't sure you wanted her to come to dinner this Sunday. Why?"

"It's a little hard to understand, Matty. I want her there but we aren't really getting along real well right now."

"Well, it's not fair. She's my sister and I miss her. You need to remember that!"

"I know, son. And I'm sorry. I will see what we can do." He could hear Matty crying in the backseat and because he was driving he couldn't do a thing about it. Max was trying to comfort him but it was a job for Mike. Once he got to the store, he got out and went around and opened Matty's door and immediately unbuckled him and pulled him into a hug. He had to fix things with Grace and quickly. He just wasn't sure how. Matty was sobbing in his arms and Max was playing with Gabby. He finally got Matty calmed down with promises of a new toy and candy and wiped his face down with one of Gabby's diaper wipes. They made a fast trip through the store where he just said yes to both boys. Two pepperoni pizzas, popcorn, candy, cookies, a new movie and toys for both boys and Gabby later it was past time to get Hannah. He texted her that he was running late and texted Polly that Matty was having some issues.

 _"I'm gonna have to fix things with Grace. Matty is missing her and spent ten minutes crying in my arms. He can't be punished for my bad parenting."_

 _"It's not bad parenting on your part. Grace overstepped. I agree you need to fix it but Matty can't be the only reason. I know you love her and you are very hurt but it has to be right for you too."_

 _"I know. I just hate that Matty is so hurt. He doesn't deserve it. He saw Grace at school and she told him she wasn't sure I wanted her at dinner Sunday."_

 _"Do you want me to try and talk to her?"_

 _"I want to at least give her the overnight to think about it. I'll text her tonight before bed to tell her she is welcome for dinner Sunday and that I love her. I won't mention Matty."_

 _"Okay. What should I do tomorrow night? She and I usually go to dinner and that art class."_

 _"It's up to you. I am afraid that if she hasn't come to a decision by then and you cancel, it'll further cement that she isn't a part of the family, which is what I don't want."_

 _"Okay. I see your point."_

 _"Just pulled up to the school to get Hannah. Will be driving home and won't answer texts. I love you."_

 _"Love you too. I will be home in about an hour to get Hannah."_

 _"Okay."_

Hannah was in a good mood and her sunny disposition helped Mike and Matty's moods greatly. He baked the pizzas, gave both boys their baths while Hannah watched the pizza and Gabby before Polly got home and had them in their pajamas by five. He was looking forward to his evening with them. Matty was still pretty emotional and at times was angry with Mike. It made his heart even worse. Gabby was totally content to stay in her bouncy seat and play throw the toy with Max and Mike cuddled Matty close throughout the movie. He wasn't sure how closely Matty paid attention to it. He didn't sleep and would occasionally sniffle into Mike's shirt. Hannah and Polly came home about nine and Polly helped get Max and Gabby settled. Mike and Polly tucked Matty into their bed. They both settled in on either side of him and held him until he fell asleep. Once he was asleep, Mike decided it was time to text Grace and after typing he let Polly read it before he hit the send button. She nodded and he hit the button.

 _"I love you. I would like for you to come out for dinner Sunday regardless of what you decide. Matty is having a rough time and missing you and quite frankly, so am I. Polly will be in touch with you tomorrow about your art class and dinner. We all love you and want you in this family but it's a choice you have to make. Think about your brothers and sisters. It doesn't just impact you and me. I will not pressure you into a decision. Have a good night and call if you need anything. I love you."_

About an hour later, after Mike and Polly had fallen asleep, Grace texted him back. He didn't hear the text and didn't see it until the morning. Fortunately, Matty slept through the night and was in a bit brighter of a mood. Polly unfortunately had some morning sickness and Mike didn't look at his phone until it had passed. When he finally did, it made him want to cry.

" _I love you too. I will be at dinner tomorrow and will have an answer for you. Ryan and I have plans tonight so I am going to have to cancel Polly and I's plans. And please don't use the kids against me. That is pressuring me. I'll see you all tomorrow."_ Mike shook his head and showed it to Polly, she was still not feeling well which worried him. They had to get ready for a ball game and then Mike would take Max to the afternoon movie and ice cream at Maggie's. He didn't want to argue with Grace all weekend and so he decided to just end it.

" _I'm not sure what's going on with you but Matty cried in my arms most all evening because of how he was missing you. I miss you as much as he does and I want you here. I am not pressuring you but I will not allow you to hurt my son. I know you've raised him up until two months ago and I appreciate that. You know him a lot better than I do. You've been his mother figure and you need to remember that. He doesn't understand any of this. I refuse to argue about this and until you have gotten your head screwed on straight, and remember that it's not just you and I, I'm not sure you need to be at dinner. I love you and that will not change but I do not want to explain to Matty why you're refusing to be a part of this family. When he asks, I will call you. You can explain it. I've made my point. I want you in this family, I love you and I appreciate everything you've done. I do want to walk you down the aisle. But until you have made your decision, I'm done."_

He wiped a few tears away, stuck his phone in his pocket and headed to the boy's ballgame. Matty and Max both asked if Grace would be there and Polly finally just told them she wasn't sure. The morning sickness had passed fortunately and their day was filled with fun. Matty had a homerun which put him over the moon until he realized that Grace wasn't there to see it which only caused more tears. Mike took Max for their traditional movie and ice cream and then they enjoyed the evening at home. Grace hadn't texted back which didn't help Mike's feelings. Polly finally texted Ryan to make sure Grace was okay and Ryan promised her that she was okay and would see them the next day.


	63. Chapter 63

**Five Years Later**

Chapter 63

Grace skipped church. Dinner would be at six and as badly as she wanted to be there, she couldn't get out of bed. The ob-gyn had warned her that when she had her first period after her attack, there could be significant problems. There had been so much trauma that she had completely skipped the period the first month after the attack. She was cramping, had cold chills and bleeding heavily. And what was worse, was she couldn't call anyone. Everyone was upset with her. She didn't feel comfortable telling her boyfriend about it. He was aggravated with her because he had had to lie to Polly for her. Monday rolled around and she couldn't go to work. Alec was her direct supervisor and she technically was supposed to call in sick to him but instead just called the dispatcher and let them know she had the flu.

Alec walked into his office at eight am on the dot with a stack of work for Grace. She always showed up before he did and he was shocked to not see her Explorer in the parking lot. Maggie and he had had dinner with Mike, Polly and the kids the night before and he knew that Mike was very deeply disappointed that Grace hadn't showed for dinner. Maggie had called Ryan and asked but he was in St. Louis. When his overnight dispatcher told him that Grace was sick with the flu, he knew something was up. She had never been sick. He decided it was time to call Maggie and Polly. It was time for the moms to deal with it.

"Hey, Mags, is Grace's Explorer outside?"

"Yeah. I thought it was odd. Not hearing her upstairs though."

"She called in sick, has the flu. Something is up."

"Okay. I'm not busy. I'll go check on her."

"Call Polly and have her go with."

"What about Mike?"

"If it's a matter of her not wanting to face him then it's probably better not to call him right off. Polly will know what to do."

"Okay. I'll let you know. "

"Okay. I love you."

"Love you too."

Maggie had a bad feeling. She didn't know why. When they had put the pieces together and realized that Ryan had told Polly that Grace was alright and went along with the story of them having plans, she had gotten onto him. He had been in St. Louis most of the week. He did tell her that as far as he knew, Grace was planning on going to the family dinner and that she was alright. At least he hadn't lied about that. Maggie called Polly and told her that Alec asked that they check on Grace and not tell Mike immediately, she could tell it made her nervous but she did agree and told her she would be there in five minutes.

Polly was there in less than five minutes. She was equally as worried about Grace. She had tried to call her and Grace hadn't answered. Mike was very deeply hurt by Grace's actions and Matty was angry at Mike. He hadn't even let Mike tuck him in the night before and refused to hug him that morning. The little boy didn't understand it at all. Polly agreed with Mike's stance on what Grace had said and done and she was angry with the young woman. She and Maggie walked up the stairs and fortunately the chain lock wasn't fastened. Maggie opened the door and they were both hit with the strong metallic smell of blood. Grace wasn't in the living room or Matty's old room. When they got to Grace's room, they found her lying in the bed. She was as white as a sheet. Her pulse was weak and the smell of blood was so potent. Polly lifted the blanket up and the sheets and Grace was covered in blood. Maggie immediately took her phone out of her pocket and dialed Alec's number.

"We're at Grace's. She's bleeding to death. She needs an ambulance now. There are not any signs of an attack. I think it's a vaginal hemorrhage."

"Um…I didn't want to know that last part. I'll have dispatch call for an ambulance."

"Alec, you'll need to know it for the ambulance. I think she's in shock. Her pulse is weak, she's shivering and pale. She told me the doctor had told her due to all the trauma from being raped that her periods would be horrific. I think that is what's happening."

"Okay. Have you called Mike? Blood banks are still down and the only way she can have a blood donation is from a family member. He would have the same blood type."

"Polly's calling. Get that call made now!" Maggie nodded at Polly who was visibly shaken. Polly had covered her back up to help with the shivering and took her phone out of her pocket and took a deep breath.

"Mike, pack Gabby up and get here now. Grace is hemorrhaging from the trauma from the rape. You will need to go with her to the hospital. She's going to need a blood donation. There are no blood banks and so you're it. I know you're upset and angry with her but she will bleed to death."

"I'm at the grocery store. I'll be there in five." He didn't say anything else, just hung up. Polly heard the fear and pain in his voice. Grace had woke up slightly and had tried to sit up but she was too weak. When she saw Polly, she immediately asked for her dad. Polly sit down next to her and pulled her into her arms. The poor girl was absolutely beside herself and was sobbing.

Alec and Kirk took the steps two to three at a time. The ambulance was coming from out of town. Alec had thrown his keys at the jailer and told him to lead him in. Kirk was a trained paramedic who carried a fully stocked med kit with him at all times. An IV needed to be started and fluids given. It would be at least twenty minutes before the ambulance got there and Grace would not survive that long. In all the crime scenes that they had worked, neither Alec or Kirk had seen so much blood. Polly wouldn't let her go and Kirk had trouble getting the IV started because Grace was horribly dehydrated. He finally found a vein on the palm of her right hand. He didn't want to use it because it would be incredibly painful and had to look away from Grace when she screamed in pain.

Mike was doing his best to run up the stairs with Gabby in his arms and heard the scream midway up. It shattered his heart. Alec met him and took Gabby out of his arms. The apartment was rank and he could hear Kirk calling out vitals into a radio. Grace's blood pressure was bottoming out, her pulse was in the thirties, and she was extremely pale. The chances of her making it to the hospital were practically nonexistent. Mike sit down next to Polly not caring about the large amount of blood on the bed and eased her out of Polly's arms. Polly found her way up and she and Maggie left the room. Kirk stood in the doorway because he had to monitor her.

"It's okay, baby. Just stay with me. Keep fightin'. I love you, sweetheart."

"I'm so sorry, Daddy, I'm…I'm so cold. Can't you just hold me? You're so warm. I…I…I love you…" Mike felt her go limp and yelled for Kirk. He picked her up off the bed and laid her on the floor. He started chest compressions and Kirk was throwing stuff out of his bag and came up with an intubation kit. Alec pushed him out of the way and he and Kirk worked in tandem as Kirk intubated her. Mike felt like he was trapped in a nightmare.

 _He was walking through the church. It was completely empty but he could hear voices upstairs and ran up the steps. He walked by a mirror and realized he was wearing a tuxedo. He had noticed flowers everywhere. Pink roses and tiger lilies. He finally found the room where the voices were coming from but there was only one person standing in there. A barely five foot tall young women. Her light brown hair was covered in a veil and she was wearing a white wedding dress. She was facing away from him but he saw a birthmark on the young woman's shoulder blade. Grace had an identical one. He grabbed her elbow and turned her around. Grace looked almost exactly like Christine had looked like on their wedding day. Her hair was lighter and shorter than Christine's had ever been but the face, voice and smile was the same._

 _"There you are, Daddy. I was worried that you were still mad and wouldn't come here. Do you like my dress? Hannah let me borrow her pearls. You look so handsome in your tux but the bow is wrong. Let me fix it?" She fixed the bow and put the flower in his button and then kissed his cheek._

 _"Nowhere else I want to be. You're beautiful. You look so much like you're mom."_

 _"I miss her. Polly and Maggie have been great but I wish Mom was here."_

 _"Me too. She should see you."_

 _"She is. They just told me Ryan is at the altar so it's time. Will you walk me to him?"_

 _"I would love to. I may cry a little though."_

 _"I know. It's okay. I only want you to walk me down the aisle. That's all I've ever wanted. I've dreamed about this day and when I dream, it's you that I see walking me down the aisle."_

 _"Let's get this show on the road. I love you, sweetheart."_

 _"I love you too, Daddy."_

Mike felt like a bucket of cold water had hit him. He heard Kirk say he had found Grace's pulse. The ambulance crew came in and Kirk immediately told them that Mike and him would be riding with Grace. The trip to the hospital was a total blur. As soon as they got her rolled into an exam room, the nurse sit him down and ran a line that would take his blood directly to Grace. He hadn't donated blood since Takehaya's camp and it caused some flashbacks. He tried to focus on the fact that the blood was being given to his beloved daughter but he couldn't. Polly came in the room and knew immediately what he was thinking about it. She squeezed his hand and looked in on Grace. When she came back around the curtain, Polly gave him a huge smile.

"They've got the bleeding stopped. Vitals are getting better and she's waking up. The doctor wants to go ahead with the surgery to clean up the scar tissue but Grace is asking for you first. The nurse will be here in a minute to take this out of your arm. I know you're thinking about being a POW but this blood is going to a very worthy recipient. Your baby girl. Are you okay?"

"I…I think so. The kids?"

"Abbie showed up and took Gabby for the day. Maggie will get the kids from school and Gabby and will come to visit after the surgery. The doctor said it would be a quick procedure and Grace would be able to leave this evening or tomorrow. They just need to get her rehydrated."

"Why didn't she call that she needed help?"

"She didn't think we would help her. She called in sick this morning. It struck Alec as odd because she's so supposed to call him but she called dispatch instead. He called Maggie to check on her and had her call me. Something about calling the moms in. The rest you know."

The nurse had unhooked all the tubing from Mike's arm and got the bleeding stopped. She left the catheter type thing in his arm and told him that Grace had lost almost half her body's blood volume and would possibly need another transfusion later. She gave him some cookies and a juice and let him into Grace's side of the room. She was still really pale but she was awake. She smiled at him and reached for his hand. He took her small hand in his and sit down next to her and kissed her on the forehead.

"I'm really sorry, Daddy. I know I've hurt you and you may never forgive me. But despite that, you still saved my life? I remember you telling me about when you were a POW and Polly told me having giving a blood donation was bothering you. I don't know how to thank you…"

"It's what any father would do. I was the only readily available donor and I would do it again in a heartbeat just so I didn't have to face losing you."

"But you sounded so angry in your last text. I was shocked when they told me it was you that had donated so much blood. You look kind of pale. Are you okay?"

"The fact that you doubted that I would is a bit heartbreaking."

"I was awful to you. And before you say, it's okay, it's not. What I did was unforgivable."

"Yeah, well I'm taking a page out of your sister's book. She's forgiven me for a lot and you deserve it too. They want to get this procedure started so you don't start bleeding again. We will talk more after. I love you, so, so, so much."

"I love you too. And Daddy?"

"Yeah?"

"The answer is, yes, I want you to walk me down the aisle. I won't go into why I was even thinking about you not doing it, at least right now. Since I was little bitty, I've dreamed about getting married and you walking me down the aisle. It was always, only you."

"You have no idea how happy that makes me. I will tell you, if it wasn't going to be me that did it, I would have only wanted it to be Alec." Mike kissed her on the cheek, squeezed her hand and nodded at the nurse. He left the exam room as the doctor was walking back in and she promised that it would take a half hour at the most and that Polly was in the waiting room.

Polly met him with a hug and kiss. Kirk had ridden with the area ambulance crew that was also at the hospital back to town. Even though the procedure was short, Mike was still nervous. He could go the rest of his life and not have to perform CPR on one of his children and be just fine. Polly stayed next to him holding his hand and rubbing his back. The doctor finally came in and sit down next to him.

"Grace made it through the procedure alright. She lost a little more blood and we'll have to do another transfusion. I am going to hold her here until at least this afternoon. We need to monitor the bleeding and keep giving her fluids. I don't think we will need to keep her overnight but it is a good idea for her to not be alone once she goes home. She will be pretty weak for a couple days due to the severe blood loss. Drink that juice up. We are only allowed to accept blood from family members so you're it. Once she does go home, is there a place she can stay? Once you get done, just go to the nurse's station and they'll take you to her and do another transfusion."

"Yeah. She'll stay with us, Doctor. Thank you." The doctor got up and walked away. Polly handed him the juice with a look that told him that he would be drinking it. He was dreading another transfusion but was also happy to give Grace the blood she needed.

"I'm going to call Maggie and have her hold off on bringing the kids up here. If she's released this afternoon then there is no sense in them coming up here. It will only scare them."

"Okay."

"You alright?"

"Actually a little better. We didn't talk long but the important stuff was said."

"Good. That is all that matters. Once this next transfusion is done, I will go and get her some clothes and get you both something to eat. You need to stay with her. Alec called. He and the jailer went and got Grace's bed set back up in her old room and moved Gabby's crib and changing table into our bedroom. It's not an ideal situation but it will work."

"Yeah that is fine. Sorry I didn't talk to you before saying that she would stay with us."

"I would have expected it."

"I kind of figured."

"Flashbacks are bothering you aren't they?"

"Yeah. I know that since its Grace, that's all that should matter but I still hate it. The foggy feeling."

"Mike, if I could be the donor I would be, but with the baby, I don't dare. Besides I don't even have the same blood type. I hate that it is bothering you. I'll go back in with you and try and keep you distracted so you don't think about being in that camp."

"Thanks. I love you and I would never ask you to put yourself or our baby in danger. It's just a 'dad job.'"

"Yep. I love you too."

"Could the bleeding have caused her to be that moody?"

"Yes. But what she did was beyond that. It probably impacted her decision making but she can't blame it totally on it. And you shouldn't let her. Did she give you a reason for asking Alec?"

"No, at least not right now and I am not sure I want to know."

"You need to know. You may not like it but you need to know. She does want you to give her away, right?"

"Yeah."

"When she woke up at the apartment before you got there, she asked for you. It kind of surprised me."

"Feeling her die in my arms…it was incredibly…hard." Mike choked back a sob and before he realized it, he was crying into Polly's shoulder. She held him until the tears subsided. A nurse had come in and told Polly that Grace was awake and they needed to do the transfusion as quickly as possible. Mike sit up and dried his tears. They walked hand in hand back to Grace's room. She was sitting up but was still incredibly pale. She gave them a weak but happy smile.

The nurse followed them and hooked the tubing back up to Mike's arm and the blood started going into Grace's arm. She was perking up and had even told a joke or two. Mike leaned onto her bed and shut his eyes. The flashbacks were horrible and he tried to focus on Grace and Polly's voices. Polly's hand was on his shoulder and Grace was holding his hand and squeezed it multiple times. Finally the nurse unhooked the tubing and took the catheter out of his arm. It was a relief. Grace's vitals were near perfect and the doctor had come back in and told them they would monitor her for a couple more hours and then she could go home. They had already told her that she would be going home with them and she seemed thrilled. Polly finally left to get them both soup and sandwiches and to get Grace clothes to go home in. Grace dozed off and on but Mike stayed next to her holding her hand. He was getting a little tired of seeing his kids in hospital beds. Grace finally woke back up and gave him a big smile. He helped her sit up and gave her a drink of water. She was ready to talk.

"I don't know why I even asked Alec. Ryan had told me it was a bad idea and you would find out. That it would destroy our relationship. But then I did it anyways. I wasn't thinking straight apparently. I hate that I hurt you like that. And when you told me that Matty had cried all night, it really hurt. I wanted to get in the Explorer and drive out there and settle everything then but I wasn't sure you would even let me in and besides, I could barely get out of bed. Is he okay?"

"Why didn't you let me know what was going on? Or Polly, Maggie, Alec, anyone? Even when you called into work this morning? You could have told the dispatcher instead of telling them that you had the flu? Had Alec not gotten worried, you would have died. As far as Matty is concerned, he will be okay. He wouldn't let me hug him this morning or tuck him in last night. That hurt a lot. He's mad at me. I think once he sees you at home with us, he'll be better."

"I am so, so, so sorry. I'll talk to him. Make him understand that it wasn't you that was keeping me away. I did have every intention of going to family dinner last night but then I fell asleep. By the time I woke up it was so late that I didn't want to call you. I should have."

"Yes. You should have. I would have come in and helped you. It would have saved me and everyone a lot of heartache. You had a lot of people worried."

"I feel really bad about it."

"I know you do. Polly and I have talked about it. You did make a good point in saying we didn't seem to have time for you. The lunches aren't enough. I want more time with you. I called and I am going back to school. With you. I have no idea what I'll be when I grow up. It's gonna take some juggling but since some of the classes are during the day, we'll make it work."

"Is that something you really want to do?"

"The idea of going back to school is daunting but aside from me becoming a deputy and making Polly really scared, it's the only option I have. Now it's just one class. It's the only one I could make work with the other kids. I may flunk out so you'll have to help me."

"Which one is it?"

"United States Military History. Why are you taking a class like that anyway?"

"It filled the hole. And I figured between you and Ryan, you could help. Given that you and Uncle Tom have a chapter in the book."

"Oh this is going to be embarrassing. Think I can change my name before the class?"

"Well, I spoke to the instructor last week and he already knows that I'm your daughter and wants you to speak."

"This is going to be like going in front of a firing squad."

"You know you don't have to do it, right? I appreciate the thought but I'm sure we can figure something out."

"It's two hours once a week. Given that I'm part of the subject matter, I want to make sure it's taught right. But more than that, I want more time with you. Unless I want to give Polly a coronary, this is the best way."

"She is really against you being a deputy."

"If it came down to it, she'd handle it."

"Yeah, I'm sure she would. Are we okay?"

"We'll get there. I love you, the rest will come together."

"I love you too. And I promise, I'll just call you next time. I will talk to Matty. I do feel really bad about that."

"He's just a little kid. He doesn't understand it. He was scared you were not going to be a part of his life anymore and I was an easy target for his anger and fear. It just can't happen again. I know I haven't been a part of his life for long but I will not allow him to be hurt. That is an absolute and you have to understand it. I would be the same way if someone was hurting you."

"I do. When you first showed up I was worried that you and he wouldn't bond. If nothing else, it shows that you guys have an amazing bond."

"It's a work in progress. The same way it is with you, Hannah, Max and Gabby."

"You've done really well."

"Hmm. Debatable. But thank you. I have some amazing kids."

"You are. Don't doubt yourself. There's Polly."

Polly came in with a bag of clothes for Grace and lunch for both of them. After they ate, the doctor came back in to do another exam. Polly stayed with Grace but it was too personal and Mike made his quick exit. Thankfully it went well and Grace was discharged. Polly and the nurse helped Grace get cleaned up and into the clothes that Polly had gotten. Mike got Polly's SUV so Grace didn't have to walk too far. She was still very weak and Mike had to help her up into the SUV. It didn't take long and she was sound asleep. The drive home was quiet and once they got home, they got her settled on the couch. Mike sit down next to her and Grace cuddled up to him. Polly went and got the younger kids and when Matty walked in and found them both asleep, he gave Polly a huge smile. All was right in his world. Polly gently woke Mike up and Matty climbed up on his lap and fell asleep.


	64. Chapter 64

**Five Years Later**

Chapter 64

Polly finally woke Mike up because she needed him to run to the store. He settled Matty down next to Grace and covered them both up. He knelt down next to the couch, covered them both up and kissed both on the forehead. Grace had turned on her side and wrapped both arms around Matty and he wrapped both arms around her. It was a precious memory.

He took Hannah with him. She would be leaving in a few days and he wanted to spend every moment he could with her. He was dreading the six weeks without her. They got the items that Polly needed and ran by Grace's apartment to get her clothes. Maggie had cleaned up the bedroom. The bed was stripped and there was no blood on the mattress. The smell was still there but was airing out. Hannah packed a bag of comfy clothes for Grace. Mike grabbed her laptop and textbooks, including the one on Military History.

"So, Polly told me you were going back to school?"

"Sort of. I'm taking a class with Grace to spend more time with her."

"That's sweet. She's missed you."

"Yeah. I missed her too."

"While I'm gone, you should spend Sunday afternoon with her. Even if it's just working on homework. She was starting to think that you didn't love her anymore because you didn't spend much time with her anymore."

"I still love her. I always will. She made the choice not to come around."

"I know you do and I'm not going to argue with you about it. You sent her mixed signals unintentionally. You have a habit of doing that."

"How so?"

"Like you telling me you didn't want me to go to camp but then helping me pack?"

"I don't want you to go to camp because I'll miss you. But I also know that it's something you're excited about and it will be good for you so I help you pack. Anymore failings as a dad?"

"Being frustrated with Matty."

"Yeah, I'll admit I screwed up there."

"It confused him because Grace was not around. I realize she made that choice and you wanted her there but Matty felt like he'd done something wrong and you were going to make him move out."

"Oh, wow. How exactly do you kids put up with me?"

"You do more things right then wrong. And you give really good hugs."

"Hannah, please tell me when I start to screw something up with you guys. I love you all and I don't want to push any of you away. Now come here and I will give you one of those hugs." Hannah smiled at him and walked to him and he pulled her into a massive bear hug.

"Daddy, we'd better get going. Polly needed that stuff. But you are doing a really good job. Don't go second guessing yourself. I love you."

"I love you, too, sissy. And I am really going to miss you. I just can't wait to hear all your stories from camp."

"I can't wait!"

They headed out of Grace's apartment after locking up and headed home. Hannah was talking a mile a minute about what she would be able to do at camp. There would be therapeutic horseback riding, swimming and basketball that she would be able to help with. It would be a good experience for her.

Back at the house, Grace woke with Matty in her arms; he'd also woke up and gave her a huge smile. He seemed thrilled to see her and gave her a kiss on the cheek.

"I missed you a lot, Gracie. Was Daddy mean to you?"

"No, I was actually really mean to Daddy and I hurt his feelings really bad. He wanted me to come to dinner and to your ballgame but I didn't plus I said some really mean stuff to him. It was my fault, not his."

"Oh. I think I hurt his feelings too. When I didn't hug him this morning, there were tears in his eyes. How did you fix it?"

"I got sick and Daddy had to help me. But I don't want you to do that. Just give him a hug, tell him you love him and that you're sorry. That usually works."

"But he may be really mad?"

"He was pretty upset with me and you saw him when you walked in. He gave me a bunch of his blood to make me feel better and he saved my life despite how much I hurt him. Just give him a hug and tell him those things." Matty nodded at her and Mike and Hannah walked in just then. Polly immediately grabbed the grocery bags out of Mike's hands and he headed into the living room.

"Matty, go do what I told you." Grace gave him another kiss and after he got up, she sit up and grinned at Mike. She still looked pale and Hannah had sat her bags on the couch. She'd be at Mike and Polly's for at least a week and possibly longer.

Mike was a little shocked when Matty walked up to him and pulled on his shirt. Matty had barely acknowledged him and it had really hurt badly. Mike bent down to see what he needed and Matty wrapped both arms around his neck, giving him a tight hug. Mike picked him and gestured to the back porch. Polly nodded and he carried Matty out there. He wanted a little time alone with him.

"I am really sorry, Daddy. I know I hurt your feelings and you may not love me anymore but I really love you. I'm sorry I made you mad." Matty was sitting on Mike's lap and he turned him so that Matty was looking at him. He could see the fear in the little boy's eyes. He genuinely feared that Mike wouldn't love him anymore. It was a little heartbreaking.

"Matty, I will always love you. I know we don't know each other that well yet but I promise nothing you can do will make me that mad that I would stop loving you. I was a little hurt this morning when you didn't give me a hug and last night when I didn't get to tuck you in. I know you were mad at me because of Grace not being here and I hope I didn't do something that made you think I didn't want you or her here?"

"Grace told me it was her that made you sad and that you wanted her here. I guess I misun…what's the word?"

"Misunderstand?"

"Yeah, that. She told me that she made you sad and you still helped her and saved her life."

"And I would do the same thing for you. Although I don't want you getting that sick. This morning gave me even more gray hair."

"You don't have that much hair."

"Gee, thanks, Matty. Just remember, male pattern baldness is hereditary. You may very well inherit it from me."

"Huh?"

"Nothing. Give me another hug and we'll be good." Matty wrapped both arms around Mike's neck and kissed him on the cheek. Mike held onto him for quite a while and it wasn't until Polly came out that he realized Matty had fallen asleep.

"Supper is ready. And Matty is sound asleep."

"Sorry I didn't help. I had every intention."

"What you were doing was more important. Grace helped and Hannah set the table. You doing better?"

"I will be. I hate the reason, but I am thrilled they will all be under this roof tonight. Everyone I love."

"Oh, you love more people than me and the kids."

"True. I do. But I love you guys the most. How's that?"

"Better. Want me to help you wake him up?"

"Yeah. Matty, time for supper. Come on, son." Matty groaned but sit back up. He loved to eat. He grinned at Polly.

"What's for supper, Mommy?" Polly and Mike exchanged a look and Polly's eyes misted up. Mike kissed the side of Matty's head and smiled at him. They weren't sure if Matty would ever call Polly mom but it was a beautiful thing to hear.

"Your favorite, spaghetti. But you have to eat your salad before dessert. None of that 'I'm full but I still want dessert' business."

"Eew."

"And dessert is chocolate pie with marshmallow topping like you like."

"Yummy! Thanks, Mommy!" Matty jumped off Mike's lap and gave Polly a hug before running into the house. Polly had tears streaming down her face and Mike pulled her into a hug. They were happy tears and he knew it but he still wanted to hug her.

"Stupid pregnancy hormones. I cry at everything. I wasn't expecting him to say that."

"He loves you. You'll be the mom he knows. The one that fixes his favorite pie, puts band aids on his skinned knees and scares his girlfriend's away."

"I know. I just don't want to replace Christine."

"She would want him to do this and she would love you. You'd better dry these tears unless you want to go ahead and announce that we're having a baby."

"We should before Hannah leaves. By the time she gets back I may start showing a little. I figure the baby was conceived on our wedding night."

"Probably. Although we've been pretty active all month. And I agree. I would like to tell them each separately. I think there will be good reactions but I do think they need to feel they can ask questions if need be or if they are uncomfortable or concerned, they can voice it."

"Good idea. And we have to slow down a bit now. Seven month old in our bedroom?"

"She's a deep sleeper. Not my fault you're not quiet."

"It is kind of your fault. Let's go in before the boys eat the pie first."

They kissed and headed inside. Both boys groaned when Polly put a large portion of salad on their plates but she pointed towards the pie sitting on the counter and they dug into their salad. Grace was still pretty weak and pale. She ate all of her dinner and offered to help clean up but Polly told her to relax on the couch, telling Mike to the same thing after he gave the boys their bath. Since it was a school night, they both went to sleep as soon as Mike read to them and gave them both kisses. Polly came in and kissed and hugged them both. Hannah was in her room packing and Polly had promised to help her, leaving Mike with time to talk to Grace. Gabby was already asleep in the master bedroom. He settled down next to Grace who was reading one of her textbooks. He pulled the Military History out of her bag and flipped to the chapter about the Nathan James and the Red Flu.

"You know, Daddy, you don't have to go to the class with me. I appreciate it, but I know it's uncomfortable."

"I want to. I do appreciate you talking to Matty. It helped a lot. Poor kid thought I wouldn't love him anymore because he'd hurt my feelings."

"Not sure where he got that idea. And it was kind of a mess I made."

"Maybe not entirely. Did I send you some sort of signal that I didn't want you here or that you weren't a part of this family? Or that I didn't love you?"

"I think I overthought a lot. I knew you and Polly needed the bedroom for Gabby but I overthought it and made it seem like you didn't want me here anymore. As far as thinking you didn't love me, I knew you did. But I did miss hearing it as much. When I was staying here, you told me at least once a day. When I moved out there were days I didn't even hear from you. Not a phone call or text. I know it sounds stupid but I went for years and didn't know where you were and I missed you then. Now, I knew where you were, but because of my overthinking, I didn't think I was allowed to reach out. I know at my age, I shouldn't need to hear your voice every day but I guess that really bothered me. I don't need to see you every day but I guess a five minute phone call wouldn't hurt. I hate asking for it…"

"You're not asking for much at all and to be honest, now that I think about it, I need to hear your voice too. Part of it was my fault because I wanted to give you the independence. I wanted you to not have to worry about the kids because you had for so long. As far as hearing that I love you. I absolutely do and will make it a point to tell you more as long as you do the same with me. I need to hear it too."

"Sounds good. I am getting tired."

"Okay, well one more thing. And it's happy news, maybe depending on your opinion."

"What?"

"Polly and I are having a baby."

"I knew it! Hannah owes me twenty bucks. Congratulations! I'm so happy for you guys!"

"Why does Hannah owe you money? And we are keeping it quiet. We wanted to tell you kids separately if you had any questions or concerns. You're the first so please don't say anything."

"She's not the only one. I said a month; Hannah said two, Alec three, Ryan four, and Maggie five months. They each owe me twenty bucks."

"Why didn't anyone tell us about this bet? I would have said six months. You owe Polly and I dinner!"

"And you would have been wrong. I figured the announcement would be a month after you guys got married. And I will pay for dinner. You may have to front Hannah the money though."

"Oh joy! Seriously, don't say anything. Do you have any questions or concerns?"

"Daddy, I know how babies are made. I really don't need that speech. And no concerns."

"I don't remember giving you the speech?"

"Mom did."

"I guess that will have to suffice. We okay?"

"Yep. As long as you know that I love you and I am really sorry. I know that I hurt you and we may never be okay again."

"I love you too. The only way we wouldn't have been okay is if I had lost you this morning. Then I would have never been okay again." Grace nodded at him and pulled him into a hug. He kissed her on the cheek and finally pulled away from her.

"Seriously, honey, we're okay. Today was one of the most terrifying days I've had in a while. Feeling you go limp in my arms and performing CPR on you is not something I ever want to experience again. So how long do I have before I give you away?"

"I don't like that term, how about walk me down the aisle?"

"Okay. Why?"

"You can't give away someone that you'll always have."

"Makes sense, so how long?"

"We aren't in a big hurry. We said six months and it will be at least that long."

"Okay. And I'm still on deck for walking you down the aisle?"

"Yep. I am really sorry…"

"Grace, I want to put it behind us."

"Okay. I do need help with something."

"I'm shocked! You're asking for help. What do you need?"

"I may need help remembering how to dance. It's been a lot of years."

"Too many. We'll work on it when you get to feeling better."

"Yeah. I'm going to bed. Night, Daddy."

"Night. Wake me or Polly up if you need anything. Love you!"

"I love you, too. And thank you for being so amazing."

"I'm not. But I have some amazing kids."

Grace just shook her head at him and headed for her room. Mike locked up, checked on the boys and kissed Hannah goodnight. She was all packed up and ready to go, she just had to finish the school year. Polly was in bed, reading her Bible. He put his pajama pants on and checked on Gabby who was sleeping. He'd brought the textbook in with him and laid down next to her. He kissed her and started reading. About five minutes later, he slammed the book shut and Polly reached over and put her hand over his.

"That book is a mess."

"So teach it."

"What?"

"Teach the part about the Nathan James."

"I am not a teacher."

"Mmm, well I know you don't like talking about it, but if you want it done correctly, teach it. You lived that nightmare. The teacher has already asked Grace about you speaking. Hook Tom into it. Talk to the teacher. You can teach the students better than that textbook can."

"You are amazing. How'd I get so lucky?"

"I wonder that about you all the time. How'd you get so lucky?" Polly sat her Bible on the nightstand and started kissing Mike. She'd straddled him and tossed the textbook on the floor, which woke Gabby up.

"Give her a minute. She'll go back to sleep." The kissing was continued and was becoming heated and Gabby started crying in earnest. Polly started laughing and got up to get Gabby. She settled back in the bed with her and Mike took Gabby which indicated to the baby it was playtime. It took them another hour to settle Gabby down and by then they were both exhausted and fell asleep as soon as Gabby went to sleep in her crib.


	65. Chapter 65

**Five Years Later**

Chapter 65

Grace recovered well and the kids got out of school for the summer on Thursday. The boys were excited to get to spend so much time with Mike and Hannah was thrilled to go to her camp on Friday. Mike was not so thrilled. They had a big family dinner Thursday night and celebrated her birthday early. She had asked that everyone gave the money that they would have spent on birthday presents and make a donation to a charity of their choice. Mike and Polly donated to the veteran's home but still got her some needed clothes to go to camp with. Mike had to take her to meet the bus at six am and so she went to bed early after hugs from everyone. After everyone went to sleep, he stood at the door of her bedroom and watched her sleep. They had told her that there would be a new baby in January and she was thrilled. The kids all were. Polly came up behind him and wrapped her arms around him.

"She'll be okay."

"She'll be fine. I won't."

"Mmm. You've spent long periods of time away from the kids before. Did it always bother you like this?"

"I hated leaving them. But no it didn't bother me as much. Maybe it's because I still feel our relationship is so fragile. Or that she's so excited. It's gonna be a long six weeks."

"I think it'll go by faster than you think. You'll be busy with the boys and Gabby. Going to school with Grace. Overseeing the addition construction, helping Tom and Sasha getting moved in and settled. I'm sure Alec can find something for you to do too."

"Yeah, but I'll still miss her. For me not having a real bond with her, I don't think I've dreaded not seeing her for so long ever."

"It's because you do have a bond with her that you'll miss her. We'd better move or we'll wake her up. Besides you need to get some sleep."

"Sure you don't want to go with us?"

"Nope, it's a dad job. But I will wake up and see her off."

Mike and Polly settled into bed and Polly went to sleep almost immediately. Mike tossed and turned. He had a couple bad dreams that Hannah would get sick while she was at camp or that she wouldn't want to come back. They were ridiculous dreams and he knew it but he was still dreading the alarm going off. He literally watched the numbers change throughout the night. At four he finally got up and fixed Hannah some oatmeal with extra cinnamon and brown sugar like she loved. He finally woke her up and took her bags to the truck while she showered and got ready. They ate breakfast and he woke Polly up to see her off. Gabby woke up at the same time and Hannah cuddled with her for a couple minutes. Polly gave her a hug and kiss, holding onto her an extra-long time. Polly was crying like a baby by the time it was time for them to leave.

The drive to the meeting place was quiet and thankfully there weren't a lot of people there yet. Hannah wanted to get on the bus but Mike stalled her, making sure she had her medicine, extra money, her phone, and numerous other things that Polly had triple checked already. People were starting to stream in and several of Hannah's friends were asking for her to get on the bus with them. Principal Hayes was also going as a counselor and assured Mike that he would keep a close eye on Hannah and her health. He stalled as long as he could and Hannah finally had to leave.

"I'll be fine, Daddy. I'll call or text every day and I'll see you in three weeks when you come to get me for my appointment with the liver doctor. You promise to send me a picture of the baby's ultrasound?"

"Yes. God, I'm gonna miss you. I am so scared that you and I won't be so close when you come back." Mike pulled her into a crushing hug and cried a few tears into her hair. She finally looked up at him and kissed his cheek. She pulled away because the bus was waiting on her.

"We'll be fine. But I have to go. You have to let me go. I love you."

"I love you too. So, so, so much."

Mike pulled her into a hug and gave her another kiss. He let her go and sat in his truck watching the bus leave. And cried like a baby. It was just a bit shameful. After finally getting control of himself, he drove back to the house. Grace was going back to work and Polly had to work. It would just be him and Gabby with the two boys and they had big plans of going to the swimming pool. After kissing both Polly and Grace goodbye, he got the boys into their swim trunks, Gabby into her swimsuit and had his own trunks on with a t-shirt on.

It set the tone for their days. They went to the pool nearly every day. The first week in June, Mike and Polly took a day and went to the doctor. Her pregnancy was going extremely well aside from some morning sickness. The real shock came when the doctor announced that they would be having twins. It was unexpected but they were thrilled. Polly was already beginning to show and the doctor warned that the babies would probably be born around Christmas.

Hannah called at seven pm every night, talking a mile a minute about all that she was doing. She got to help with the therapeutic horseback riding and had started begging Mike for a horse. She had fallen in love with them. She also begged to cancel her doctor's appointments so she could stay on at camp but Mike refused. He needed the four days with her. It had been rough on him, having her gone. Her birthday hit him he hardest and he considered just packing the kids up and going to visit her. Gabby had another ear infection and the camp didn't like the counselors to have visitors. They did get to have a video chat which the boys hogged. Polly got all of about a minute to talk to her, Grace had come out for dinner and talked to her for another minute and then Mike took over the computer.

"Hey, sissy. It's so good to see you."

"It's good to see you too. Polly is already showing!"

"Yeah, that happens with twins."

"What! Awesome, you need to have a boy and girl. That would be cool. Do you have names picked out?"

"I don't care as long as they are healthy. They'll be our Christmas presents. As far as names, we're still working on that. How are you feeling?"

"Good. I feel good. Next week when you come and get me, can we go see Jeremy when I have my doctor's appointment? You have been visiting him right?"

"Yes, ma'am. Polly and I have visited him and I know Ryan went last week too."

"Good. That worried me."

"Anything else you want to do on your four day break?"

"Maybe go to that place in the mall. What have you guys been doing?"

"I take the boys and Gabby to the swimming pool pretty much every day. They love the water."

"Hmm, wonder where that comes from? We can do that. Can I wear my bikini?"

"Absolutely not! You have a bikini? Who bought that for you?"

"No one. I was kidding. Your reaction was hilarious. My belly is all scarred up remember?"

"Okay. You scared me."

"I'd better get going. I can't wait to see you next week. You'll love this place."

"Alright. I don't want to let you go, but I guess I will. I will be there Wednesday around noon to get you. Be ready. I love you, so much."

"I love you too, Daddy. It's been really good to see your face. I will see you next week and I will be ready. I gotta go!"

The screen went blank and Mike stared at it for a few minutes. Grace was getting ready to leave for the evening and walked over and gave him a kiss. Polly was getting the kids ready for bed and he was feeling pretty blue.

"I am not going to help you when I tell you Ryan and I set a date?"

"You girls are killing me! What's the date?"

"Ryan wants to talk to you, ask for my hand and all that jazz. But New Year's Day. Hopefully the babies are born by then."

"Doc says they will be."

"They're talking about him deploying to Spain and he wants me to go with him."

"Oh, God."

"I knew that would be your response. We haven't decided that for sure but I do want to go. But I also want to go to college. I can do online classes. We haven't talked to Maggie and Alec yet either. They know there is a possibility that Ryan will deploy. Just not that we'll be married first."

"Well I've given my blessing and I knew that it might entail watching you go with Ryan on his various deployments. I don't have to like it but I will tell you Spain is a beautiful country. How long is the deployment?"

"A year. Possibly two."

"Uh, yucky."

"Daddy, I understand what you're feeling but I think Ryan and I need this. We can email and call. Maybe even video chat."

"I know. I have until at least January right?"

"Yep. They haven't given us a date for deployment but it will be at least after January."

"Alright. Well you can count on a whole lot of breakfasts and lunches between now and then. I am going to want to spend a lot of time with you. Ryan will just have to understand it."

"He knows."

"So when do you make the announcement on the date?"  
"Ryan is telling his parents tonight and that he is deploying. I wanted to tell you first. I think Polly knows but you can tell her for sure. He did ask that you and he meet for lunch tomorrow so he can formally ask you for my hand."

"Alright. Eleven at Maggie's?"

"I'll tell him. Love you."

"Love you too."

She gave him another hug and kiss and headed back to her apartment. Polly was in bed, reading her Bible when he crawled in next to her. He sit the Bible to the side and kissed her. His hands were on her belly. He exposed her belly and kissed it.

"Grace talk to you?"

"Yeah, you knew?"

"She hadn't told me, I suspected. Where and when?"

"New Year's Day, I'll be walking my baby down the aisle. Sometime after that she and Ryan will be headed to Spain."

"Rough. Is Spain dangerous?"

"Not particularly. But any deployment can be dangerous."

"I hate the idea of letting them go. But they need to go. First year or so of their marriage in a country like Spain? Like a long honeymoon."

"I don't want to think about their honeymoon. Remember, my baby?"

"Your baby is twenty years old and will be getting married soon. As much as you don't want to think about it, there is a huge possibility they'll bring home your first grandbaby."

"Oh, my lord."

"I knew that would get you. I'd better get to sleep."

"You'll sleep and I'll have nightmares."

"She'll be fine, Mike. She's a tough girl. Don't stress yet. Now I could really use rocky road ice cream, hot dogs and relish, onion rings with mustard and hot chocolate."

"Alright, I'll go to the store, but can you write that list down while I get ready?"

"You bet. I may add to it."

"That's what I'm scared of."

"Hey now, this is your fault. I'm eating for three. Mr. I've hit my max at ten or eleven times in one night?"

"Mrs. Let's make reservations for our anniversary so we can hit a dozen times?"

"Hmm. I need to cancel that reservation. I'm cutting you off after I get past these crazy pregnancy hormones that cause me to want private mommy and daddy time all the time."

"I'm having a surgery. Calling first thing tomorrow."

"Good idea. Apple pie with caramel sauce and corn flakes?"

"Gross but okay. Be back in a bit."

"You're the best. I love you."

"Love you too."

By the time, Mike got back to the house with the bags of food, Polly had fallen back to sleep. As typical, he put the groceries away and headed to bed. He wasn't cooking the food and then waking her up. If she still wanted them in the morning, he'd cook it then. They had a pantry full of food from her cravings and then going to sleep. And she was only seven weeks along. He wrapped his arms around her and fell asleep.

Matty crawled into bed with them about five and Mike pulled him onto his chest. As normal, Polly put her head on the opposite side of his chest and he wrapped both arms around them. He could hear Max snoring in the boy's room but Matty wasn't settling very easily.

"What's going on, Buddy?"

"What's gonna happen when you and Polly have the babies? You'll be really busy."

"Yeah, we will be. But we will still have plenty of time with you. Won't change how much we love you."

"But, you'll know them forever and you've know Grace and Hannah forever. But not me?"

"True. But I haven't known Max and Gabby forever either and I love them as much as I do you or Hannah and Grace. You don't have anything to worry about, son. I will always love you."

"Are you worried about Mommy since that's how my first mommy died having me?"

"I am. But I don't want to focus on it, and I don't want you to focus on it. Around Christmastime, we'll have two new babies to love and play with."

"I'm already praying that she'll be okay."

"Me, too. Let's get to sleep."

"I love you, Daddy."

"I love you, too." Mike pulled Matty onto his chest and softly hummed to lull him back to sleep. He knew the next several months would be rough on Matty because he was already fixating on the fact that Christine had died giving birth to him. The concern for Polly had crossed Mike's mind and it would get worse closer to the due date but Mike also understood the situation a lot better than Matty. And nothing he could say or do would sooth Matty's frayed nerves regarding the birth. He was foreseeing a lot of nightmares in Matty's future. In her sleep, Polly had put her arm around Matty and burrowed in closer to Mike.


	66. Chapter 66

**Five Years Later**

Chapter 66

The lunch with Ryan went just how Mike expected it to go. Ryan was extremely nervous and it made Mike smile a little. He had been the same way when he sit down with Christine's dad to ask for her hand. The difference being was that Christine's dad didn't particularly care for Mike. He felt differently about Ryan. He genuinely liked the young man and felt he was a good match for his short tempered daughter. Ryan had an abundance of patience and didn't lose his temper easily. He was quiet while Grace was boisterous. He thought things through while Grace was impulsive. The most important thing was that Ryan loved Grace and that was all Mike could ask of him.

"So I remember years ago, asking Grace's grandpa for his daughter's hand in marriage. He didn't like me much and didn't approve of me. But despite that, he gave me his blessing. I will never forget him telling me that I had only known Christine a few short years while he had known her, her entire life. He told me I was marrying a young woman, and he was giving away his baby, his pride and joy, a huge piece of his heart. I never understood what he said until now. To you, she's going to be your best friend, your confidante, your lover, and the mother of your children. You will hold her when she's sad, laugh with her when she's happy, and calm her when she's mad; probably at me. You'll celebrate birthdays, anniversaries, and holidays. You'll be by her side as she gives birth and goes through excruciating pain. You'll rejoice with her when your own babies are born. And someday when she has to bury me, she'll lean on you. If I didn't think you were capable of those things, I wouldn't be sitting here now. But to me, she's my baby. I can tell you things about her that would make your head spin. She's got a horrific temper, can be passive aggressive, and when she gets it in for you she can cut you to shreds with her words. She routinely makes grown men cry, she's done it to me and your dad has witnessed her doing it to other people. But for all those negative attributes that she got from me, she got a few things from her mom. She's understanding, compassionate, and wise beyond her years. She does understand the Navy life and she will be an asset to you throughout your career, much as her mother was to me. You have my blessing and I will happily walk her down the aisle to you but make no mistake, she maybe your wife but she's my daughter. Someday you may have a baby girl of your own and will understand this statement. To you, she'll be your wife but to me? To me, she's my world. I don't think you would ever hurt her, but if you do, I will skin you alive. I also want you to promise me, you'll be a better husband to her than I was to her mother. I'm getting a second chance with your aunt but I could have been better. More loving, more attentive. Don't let her or your kids play second fiddle to your career. I made that mistake. Grace lost a large part of her childhood because of my career, I missed Matty's most formative years and it shows. But all that is the bright side when I see how I was with Hannah. I ignored her, didn't bond with her, and put her on the backburner. I'm playing catch up with her now. I don't want you to be sitting where I sit now, trying to bond with your children. It's a runaway train now and I'm barely hanging on to the caboose. You deserve better than that, Grace deserves better and your future kids definitely deserve better."

"Yes, sir."

"Did you buy her ring yet? It'd better be a good one. She only deserves the best."

"I have it here." Ryan pulled the ring box out of his pocket and gave it to Mike. It was a small diamond. Most likely all Ryan could afford but it was perfect for Grace.

"Nice. She'll love it."

"It's not that big. I wanted something nicer but I didn't want to finance it."

"Good idea. Christine's ring was pretty similar to this one and she loved it. She would never let me get her a bigger, better one. Grace won't either. She's too practical."

"Mom helped me pick it out. She said the same thing."

"It's not the size of the ring but the meaning behind it. You don't have to have a massive ring to get married with. It just takes love."

"That's what my mom and dad both said."

"And how many years have they been married? I think they would know."

"Twenty three years."

"Well they are one of the happiest couples I have ever seen and I would take their lead if I was you."

"You and Aunt Polly are happy."

"True but we've only been married less than two months and haven't even known each other three months. Not a good idea to take our lead just yet. Your parents are a safe bet. They've weathered unbelievable storms together and gotten through them all. You and Grace need to watch and learn. Polly and I have a strong relationship and a great marriage but we really haven't weathered a storm yet. It's been smooth sailing and I hope it stays that way. The biggest piece of advice I can give you is to just be her friend. Your mom and dad are each other's friend."

'I've noticed that. And they tease each other constantly."

"It's healthy to do that."

"So did she tell you about Spain?"

"She did. I'm less than thrilled with that but I won't hold her back."

"I appreciate that, sir. It's in Rota. The base is safe. I'll be in Intelligence."

"All bases are safe until they aren't."

"True."

"And she'll be taking online classes? You need to encourage that."

"Yes, sir. When the question came up rather she'd be going with me, I was adamant that she continue her education in some way."

"Good. Any idea on deployment date?"

"Anywhere from the end of January until March. You obviously know they can't give an exact date."

"Yeah that part always stinks."

"They mentioned it being a three year deployment. I'll have a month off midway through and I will bring Grace home then."

"You'd better."

"I think my parents think the same way. I'm chopped liver."

"Oh, trust me; they'll want to see you too. Grace is just more lovable."

"Gee, thanks!"

"Polly made the remark that there was a good possibility you'd be bringing home a grandbaby with you guys. If you think you're chopped liver now, you will definitely be then. That baby will outshine both you and Grace."

"I figured."

"I'd better go. I promised the boys I would take them to the pool. You have my blessing and it will be an honor to walk my daughter down the aisle to you. Don't let what I said scare you but do remember it."

"Yes, sir, thank you."

"The first time she takes that temper out on you, you'll be cussing me, not thanking me. I created that monster. But you're welcome." They shook hands and Mike went on his way. He had no reservations about Ryan and Grace getting married. It would be incredibly painful for him and excruciating when they moved to Spain, but Mike was prepared.

He took the boys and Gabby to the pool. Matty had decided girls weren't so gross and he and Max were fighting for a little girl's attention. Problem being was that she wasn't giving either of them the time of day. It was hilarious to watch.

On Friday, he and Grace drove to the city to go to the Military History class. He was treated like something of a celebrity and it was highly embarrassing. It made him want to gag. Despite that, the time with Grace was invaluable and Mike treasured that. Having her on the other side of the world for at least a year and a half would be hard.

The week sped by, construction started on the bedroom addition. Mike and Polly spent a day cleaning Tom and Sasha's house. Mike's days were filled with taking the three younger kids to the pool or to the zoo. He had a breakfast with Grace and helped her with her schoolwork. Wednesday finally came and Mike jumped out of bed as soon as the alarm went off, ready to get Hannah. Polly started laughing at him.

"Three weeks without Hannah and you're like this, I can only imagine what you'll be like when Grace comes back from Spain."

"I'm dreading that. And taking Hannah back on Saturday. That'll be rough."

"Have I told you lately how much I love you?"

"You told me last night. Is this you buttering me to go get one of your food cravings?"

"Nope. Just that you're an amazing dad. I can't wait for these two to get here so I can watch you with them."

"I have amazing kids and an amazing wife. I am not amazing though. I've screwed up so much with them. But I can't wait for these two either. I love you too."

"You're doing great. I feel horrible for Matty. He's woke up crying two nights in a row. He won't tell me what he's dreaming about, has he told you?

"He's scared of you having the babies."

"He's jealous?"

"No. The actual birth process is scaring him."

"Because of Christine?"

"Yeah. He knows his birth caused her death. He doesn't understand that it's rare. He's terrified that the same will happen to you."

"Oh poor kid. How do we help him?"

"I don't know. Sasha having their baby may help some. But I think it may always be a fear of his. I kind of wished I had lied to him and told him that Christine died some other way."

"It would have been wrong. He needed to know."

"I guess. I'd better go. You got the kids?"

"Yep, I got them. Love you."

"Love you too. I'll kiss the kids bye and get going."

Polly nodded at him and went back to cooking breakfast for the kids. Max was still sound asleep but Matty was lying in his bed staring at the ceiling. Mike kissed Max and then sit down next to Matty.

"Bad dream again last night?"

"Yeah. I started to go into your room but I'm trying to be a big boy. Mommy came in and checked on me and held me until I fell asleep."

"You could have come in. Want to tell me about the dream? I know you don't want to tell your mom but you can tell me."

"Not really. I don't want to scare you."

"I don't scare easy and it will help to talk about it. I need to go get Hannah but we'll talk tonight when I get home, okay?"

"Okay."

"I love you, son."

"I love you too." Mike bent down and kissed Matty's forehead and Matty wrapped his arms around Mike's neck. Mike hugged him for a minute and finally picked him and carried him out to the kitchen. He kissed him again and gave Polly and Gabby a kiss. The little guy had put his head down on the kitchen island and had fallen back to sleep. It made both Mike and Polly's heart break.

"I'll keep an eye on him, Mike. Go get our girl."

"I'm really worried about him."

"I know. I am too. Be safe."

"I will. Call if you need anything."

"Call me when you get there and when you leave?"

"Yes, ma'am."

Mike patted Matty's shoulder which earned him a groan and headed out the door. He was worried about Polly but he had already spoken with her doctor and she had told him that a woman dying in childbirth due to blood loss was pretty rare. Christine died not long after the Red Flu and lack of medical resources might have contributed to her death. Despite the fact that Polly was pregnant with twins, the doctor had no real reason for concern. She was younger then Christine had been, larger framed and completely healthy. As an adult and an experienced father, he was well prepared for the childbirth process. His six year old was not. And he didn't have a clue as to how to ease his mind. He just knew that Matty would not handle the rest of the pregnancy well at the rate he was going. There were no books on this part of parenting. Grace and Hannah didn't seem to have any reservations about Polly being pregnant or the actual birth process and they would remember Christine dying. They would not be a good source of advice.

The drive to Oklahoma seemed to take forever, mostly due to his concern over Matty and his anticipation of seeing Hannah. It took roughly three and a half hours to get to the camp and as soon as Mike pulled in, he saw Josh and Principal Hayes. Josh went on his way but Principal Hayes came over and shook Mike's hand.

"I bet you're here to get Hannah?"

"Yeah, where is she?"

"Her bags are ready but she is down at the arena. I'll take you down there." The two men walked down to the arena and Mike saw Hannah surrounded by a large group of kids with varying disabilities. They were brushing a colt and he could see the excitement on her face. She hadn't seen him yet and he stood and watched her for a minute. She was completely happy. As much as he had missed her, seeing her made it worth it.

"She's been a huge asset here. She has a natural talent with the horses and the kids."

"Her mom loved horses. Seeing her with that one is like seeing a younger image of Christine."

"Did her mother work with the developmentally disabled?"

"No. She would have, I think. Throughout our various moves and having kids, she eventually stopped riding. She had won several competitions. Hannah has been trying to talk me into buying her a horse." One of the arena managers had walked up mid conversation and laughed.

"Admiral Slattery, this is Joe. He's managed this arena for years. Joe, this is Hannah's dad."

"Nice to meet you. My name is just Mike now. None of that Admiral business."

"Your daughter is quite the girl. At night, when the kids all go to bed, she comes down here and rides for hours. She has a gift with the horses. I've learned that they are excellent judges of character. My suggestion, if you get Hannah a horse, get her a free spirited one. She's been eyeing an Appaloosa."

"One you have here?"

"Yeah. And I'd sell Sadie. If it was for Hannah."

"Alright. I will go home and talk to my wife and I'll let you know when I bring her back. Question, and bear in mind, I know next to nothing about horses, what would be a good horse for me?"

"Someone your size? Probably a fox trotter."

"Any idea on where I could get one?"

"Your lucky day."

"You have one?"

"Yep, completely broke. Have you ridden?"

"Last time was probably when Hannah was a baby."

"Well, let me know. Five hundred will get you both horses."

"I'll talk to my wife. I was figuring more. "

"My guess is, you are trying to figure out a way to spend more time with your girl?"

"Yeah."

"My daughter died during the Red Flu. I never spent enough time with her. Was in the Army. Gone almost her entire childhood. I retired six months before the Red Flu hit. I was trying but there was a disconnect. Then the flu hit and she was gone. Your daughter reminds me a lot of my girl. The way she is with people. I've heard about you and know your story is not so different than mine other than you're a squad. I think we can both agree that daughters are a precious but confusing gift. If it's a way to get you more time with Hannah then I'll help anyway I can. And that price does include me hauling the two horses to Missouri and all their tack."

"Thank you so much. I will definitely talk to my wife. I can't imagine her saying no but we've got a fair amount on our plates at the moment."

"Understood. Just let me know. I think Hannah is about finished up."

Mike turned around and Hannah was walking towards them. When she looked up and saw him, she gave him a massive smile. He met her halfway and pulled her into a bear hug. He was pretty sure she had grown an inch or two in three weeks and looked so tan.

"I've missed you so much."

"I've missed you too, Daddy. You're kind of crushing me." Mike laughed and released her. She reminded him even more of Christine. He wrapped an arm around her and kissed the side of her head. They waved at several of her friends and picked her bags up at her cabin. She was talking a mile a minute and Mike couldn't keep up.

They stopped for lunch and headed home. He had called Polly and let her know they were on their way and would be home before church. She told him that Matty had napped some but was still in a mood. He did tell Hannah what was going on with Matty and she shared some of his concerns but was old enough to understand it.

They got home just before dinner and everyone hugged on Hannah. Mike felt considerably better having her close. She wanted to go to church and so Mike and Polly made the decision that Matty would stay with Mike. Ordinarily he would go too but Mike felt the need to spend time with him. He could see the exhaustion on his face and knew a night of cuddling was in order. They were sitting in the recliner, not really watching TV and all of a sudden Matty burst into tears.

"It's okay, Matty."

"Aren't you scared?"

"Yeah, I am. But I am focusing on having two new babies to love on and that's what you need to think about. Women have babies all the time and do okay. It won't be a fun experience for your mom or me but the end result? Having a baby? Trust me, there is nothing better. I've talked to your mom's doctor and they have absolutely no reason to be worried. The babies are due in January but the doctor will probably make them come earlier before Christmas just to make things easier for her."

"And they'll be okay?"

"Oh yeah. They will be a couple weeks early but I think they'll be perfect."

"And Mommy will be okay?"

"She'll be fine. She'll be tired and a little sore and we will all have to help her for a while but she'll be okay, I have every faith."

"But I can still pray for her and the babies?"

"Absolutely. And I will be too."

"Will they give her medicine to help her feel good?"

"Yep. And having the babies will help her. They'll help her forget the pain."

"I don't understand why anyone would have a baby if they knew it was gonna hurt."

"Because having a baby, being a parent, is an amazing experience. Your mom gave four beautiful children. And trust me; she would tell you, you are worth it. If it was an option between your life and her life, she would want you to live. I have no doubt about that. And your first mom wouldn't want you to worry about your mommy. She would want you to focus on those babies."

"You're sure?"

"Positive."

"Okay, I'll try and think about the babies. I do want a baby brother."

"Well there are two babies. Your sisters want a boy and girl."

"What do you want?"

"I will be happy as long as the babies are healthy."

"So you don't care what God gives us?"

"Nope. I'll take whatever He wants us to have."

"Well I hope it's a boy and girl too. Gabby isn't so bad as long as she isn't stinky."

"That's all babies."

"So boy babies stink too?"

"Yeah, they do."

"Will I have to change their diapers?"

"No. Your mom and I will take care of that. Your job as their big brother is to play with them when they get bigger."

"So they don't come out Gabby's size?"

"Nope. A new baby is pretty small. Let me show you a picture of one of the girls." Mike sit Matty down on the couch and grabbed Hannah's baby book from the bookshelf. He went through the pages and found a picture of her when she was a couple minutes old. She had a diaper on but was all red and wrinkly.

"Okay, this is Hannah. She was only a few minutes old. She was seven pounds four ounces. Nineteen inches long. Notice how red she is, and how wrinkly she is? She looked a little funny, right?"

"She looks ugly."

"I think she was beautiful but that is a dad's perspective. The twins will look similar, maybe a little smaller since there is two of them."

"And they'll look like aliens?"

"You will think that but your mom and I will think they're perfect."

"What did I look like?"

"Give me a minute and I'll find a picture. Be right back." Mike walked to his walk in closet, where he had Christine's medical records in a safe. Attached to it was Matty's newborn picture. He needed to ask Grace if there were any others. She might have been too busy surviving and raising kids to take many pictures. He walked back out to the living room where Matty was looking through Hannah's baby book.

"Okay, here is the one picture I have of you. I'll ask Grace to see if there are anymore. I'm sorry I don't have something like Hannah's baby book for you."

"I was ugly."

"I don't think so. I think you were perfect."

"Would it bother Mommy if I had a picture of my first mommy, of my own? Grace and Hannah both have pictures of her and I don't. One for in my room? Max even has one of his first daddy."

"You know, I think she'll be okay with it. When she gets home, when we tuck you in, you can ask her."

"I hope she doesn't get mad at me."

"I bet she won't. Are you starting to feel a little better about Mommy having the twins?"

"I still don't understand why anyone would want to have a baby if they knew it was going to hurt them enough to kill them?" Mike had to almost laugh at the childlike logic. He flipped a page over in Hannah's baby book. There was a picture of Christine holding Hannah in the hospital. She looked beautiful and happy. There was no trace of pain on her face, just total joy.

"Okay, until you have a baby of your own, you may not fully understand it and I don't have a good perspective because I've never actually had a baby. But I've been there for three births and once I knew that your mom and Grace, Hannah and Lucas were okay, I was so happy and so was your mom. This was when Hannah was about an hour old. Notice how happy your mom looked? Physically she was still in pain, but I would have never known it. Hannah was her complete focus."

"She looked really pretty."

"Your mom? Yeah, she was beautiful."

"Will Mommy be that pretty after she has the babies?"

"She won't think so but she will be."

"How long will it take her to feel better?"

"A couple weeks. She'll sleep when the babies sleep so we'll have to help her a lot with them and Gabby. Gabby won't understand why her mommy doesn't feel good and she maybe a little jealous of the babies. I'll do the cooking, cleaning and taking care of you guys. Mom will sleep and spend time with the babies. It's really important. And Grace will be getting married pretty quickly after so we'll have to get ready for her and Ryan's wedding."

"Will you cry?"

"When?"

"When Grace gets married?"

"Oh, I'll cry when all of you guys get married."

"If being a dad is so good then why does it make you cry? If it's supposed to make you happy you shouldn't cry."

"You have a point there. You guys make me happy but sometimes when you're hurt or scared, it hurts my heart and I get sad. I'll cry when Grace gets married because while she will always be my daughter, she will be Ryan's wife. It's a happy thing for them and I'll be happy, but I will also be a little sad too because she won't need me as much as she does now. When Grace or any of you guys need something right now, I'm your first call and I want to be. When she and Ryan get married, he will be her first call. And that is right because he'll be her husband. It's a little confusing but even though being a dad makes me sad sometimes, the happy moments outweigh that considerably. Even as sad as I am about Lucas dying, I am thrilled that I still had him and all the happy memories that I have with him. I will still cry and be upset that he died but the happy memories will make me smile. If I had known when he was born that he would die so young, I would not have done a thing differently."

"I guess I understand."

"You won't really understand it until you have kids of your own. Let's put this stuff away and get ready for bed."

Matty nodded at him and helped Mike put the baby book away and clean up the living room. As they were finishing, Polly and the other kids came in. Baths were given and it was time for bedtime. It was selfish but Mike wished that Grace was staying with them. He loved having all his kids under the same roof. In less than a year, Grace would be on the other side of the world and it would be unbelievably difficult. Matty did ask Polly about having one of Christine's pictures in his room, and as Mike expected, she immediately agreed and promised Matty that they would find a good picture of her and she would find a special frame.

As Mike and Polly got ready for bed, they discussed the horses and Polly agreed that it would be a good idea. She enjoyed horses as well but would not ride while she was pregnant. He would be taking Hannah to her doctor's appointment the next day and spending a little one on one time with her. Mike fell asleep and slept soundly for the first time in weeks.


	67. Chapter 67

**Five Years Later**

Chapter 67

The summer and fall went by incredibly fast. Hannah's doctor appointment went well. Her liver was in near perfect condition. Mike hated taking her back to camp but thankfully the remaining three weeks went by quickly. She was thrilled when Joe showed up at the house with the two horses, and she and Mike rode frequently. He had also started teaching her how to drive, which was a frustrating experience for both of them.

Grace and Ryan wanted a small wedding. Maggie, Polly, Hannah and Grace picked out a very simple wedding dress with three quarter sleeves. Mike choose not to see any pictures of it or Grace wearing it. From Polly's description, Grace would be a beautiful bride.

Gabby had her ear surgery in October and was doing well. She hadn't had anymore ear infections and her vocabulary was getting larger every day. She took her first steps in October, walking between Mike and Polly with the kids cheering her on. She had become an extremely active toddler.

The boys loved the horses as much as Hannah. Matty still worried about Polly having the twins but Sasha having her and Tom's baby boy did seem to ease his mind a bit. They had moved into the farm next door in July and Tom and Sasha were both enjoying retirement and the somewhat reclusive lifestyle they had now. Mike and Tom taught the portion of the Military History class regarding the Nathan James. It had been an enlightening experience for all the students. They both reiterated numerous times that the mission came at a very high personal cost for both of them and most of their crew. It was not something the media spoke of. The instructor made a remark that they should write a book, an idea they both laughed off.

Polly had done remarkably well throughout the pregnancy. They had decided not to find out what gender the babies were but everyone was betting on them being a boy and girl. The bedroom addition had been completed and a gender neutral nursery was set up. Grace had a bedroom again. She stayed at least a night a week at Mike and Polly's which made Mike and Polly both happy.

The doctor choose to induce labor on December 20th, which meant that the twins would be a month early. It was concerning but the doctor felt that all would be fine. Mike and Polly decided that due to Matty's anxiety over the birth, they would call the family after the babies were born. The labor didn't take as long as anyone anticipated and at Polly's direction, Mike texted Grace when Polly went into hard labor to head to the hospital. Maggie would also be by her side but she was thrilled that Mike would be there. It was her third time giving birth but the first time she would have a husband there. The labor was the easiest one that Mike had ever witnessed and even at the end, just before the twins were born, Polly barely even made a sound.

"Okay, Polly, give me a big push and Baby A will be making his or her appearance." The doctor told her and Mike and Maggie had ahold of both her hands. Polly groaned slightly and squeezed both their hands. Within about thirty seconds, a loud cry sounded. The doctor smiled at them.

"It's a boy! And it looks like Baby B is following right behind. Another push, Polly?" Polly nodded but was focused on the baby that had been put on her chest for just a moment and then handed over to a nurse. He was making his opinion known and he was not happy with his present circumstance. She cried out and gave another push, and another cry sounded.

"Alright, your kid's all bet correctly. Baby B is a little girl and she's perfect."

The doctor put the baby on Polly's chest and cut the umbilical cords. Maggie brought the baby boy back to Polly and took the baby girl to get cleaned up. Polly was crying happily. Both babies were completely healthy and Polly was not bleeding heavily which made Mike happy. He had been worried. Maggie stepped out to let the family know that Polly and the babies were both okay.

"We need names." Mike was holding the baby boy and Polly had the little girl. They hadn't really come up with names although the kids all had suggestions. They had all kinds of crazy names.

"I have one for her that I like." Polly grasped the baby girl's hand and smiled at her. She was a beautiful baby who looked a lot like her mommy. Their little boy looked similar to Mike and definitely was already showing his temperament.

"What's that?"

"Rebecca Christine. I think it's important that Christine is remembered in some way. She gave me you all. And I love the name Rebecca. Do you have a name for him?"

"Apparently I was thinking along the same lines. Thomas Paul."

"I love it. What do you think of her name?"

"I love it too. It fits her."

"So Thomas and Rebecca?"

"Yep. They are perfect. Thank you for them. I love you."

"I love you too. You had a part in it too. And I couldn't have done it today without you."

"You're amazing and you did all the heavy lifting. Want him? I think I'm going to go get Matty first before he strokes out."

"Good idea. And of course I want him." He smiled and kissed her. He handed over the baby and kissed both babies on the cheeks. He was in love. He knew his family would be eagerly anticipating seeing the babies but he wanted to give some peace of mind to Matty. The little boy was beyond scared. He headed for the waiting room where his entire family was sitting and waiting.

"They are all fine. I know you want all to see them but Matty gets first dibs just so he can see for himself that Polly is okay. C'mon, son." Matty gave a broad smile and grabbed Mike's hand. The girls, Maggie, Alec and Ryan all understood. Gabby didn't care and Max was okay as long as he knew that his mom was alright. Matty needed to see for himself. The little guy was almost shaking with excitement and nerves.

"So Mommy is okay? And the babies?"

"Yep, all perfect."

"What are their names?

"Your little brother's name is Thomas, but we'll probably end up calling him Tommy and your little sister's name is Rebecca. I don't know that we'll shorten that."

"I like those names. Is she as pretty as what Hannah and Grace were?"

"I think so. She looks like Mommy."

"Is Tommy not pretty?"

"I suppose he is. Maybe handsome, how's that? Here's the room. I'll lift you up on the bed, okay?" Matty nodded at him excitedly and they made their way into the room. Polly smiled at him and Mike lifted Matty up on the bed so Polly wasn't jostled around too much. He seemed to be assessing Polly and the babies barely caught his attention.

"Are you feeling okay, Mommy?"

"I feel great."

"But you have tears?"

"It's because I'm happy."

"Oh, but you're not in any pain?"

"Nope. What do you think of your brother and sister?"

"They look squishy."

"Your daddy and I think they are beautiful."

"Well Tommy can't be beautiful because he's a boy. And they are both all red and wrinkly."

"They are right now but in a couple days the redness will all go away. See Rebecca's eyes?"

"Yeah. They look like Daddy's. Me and Grace and Hannah all have brown eyes."

"Yeah, you do. From your mom. And Max and Gabby have my brown eyes. But Rebecca got your daddy's eyes. I love them."

"What about Tommy?"

"He has brown eyes. I already looked."

"Daddy, are you glad Rebecca got your eyes?"

"I would have been fine with her having brown eyes but I'm glad she has blue eyes too. Matty, do you want to stay here with your mom and the babies while I get everyone else? They'll be jealous."

"Yeah. Thank you for getting me first. I'm sorry you didn't get to be there when I was born. I wish you had been."

"Me too, buddy and you don't have anything to be sorry for."

"I love you. Thanks for giving me another brother and sister."

"I love you too. And you'll be a great big brother. Take care of your mommy for me? She did all the work. And take care of the babies? I'll be right back." Mike kissed all four of them and Matty focused back in on Polly. Mike handed her a pillow and she was helping Matty hold Rebecca. It made Mike smile just watching them.

The family all filtered in and they all took turns holding the babies. Gabby was the only one that was completely unsure of them. Mike and Polly both made a point to hold and love on her while the babies were making the rounds. Max was pretty much ambivalent where they were concerned. Like Matty, his main concern was for his mom. Grace and Hannah were both enthralled with the twins but Mike had noticed that Grace had distanced herself a bit from the babies. She held them both but handed them off quickly. It was confusing. Maggie had also picked up on it and somehow convinced both of them to go to the cafeteria. As they sit down to eat, Mike decided to just ask.

"Gracie, is everything okay? I noticed you didn't seem too…interested... with the twins."

"I love them, Daddy. Don't worry about that. Ryan got a call this morning. Deployment starts sooner than we anticipated. We have to be in Spain by the tenth. I didn't interact that much with them because I didn't want to get too attached. They have housing for us but we want to be there by the fifth so we can get settled. I wanted to wait to tell you until after Polly and the babies were discharged but I also couldn't hold it back, obviously."

"Oh, God. I wanted longer."

"They wanted us to go before the first of the year but we wanted to be married first. In all honesty, any time after the first, he might get called to go. I really hate raining on such a happy day."

"I have no idea what to even say."

"I am sorry."

"It's not your fault."

"Distancing myself from Tommy and Rebecca?"

"I understand it. I used to do it with you kids. It made leaving easier, sort of, until a day or so later."

"Since we're having such a small wedding and all the people that we want there, is close by, we talked to Pastor John. I know it's extremely short notice but it's going to be a Christmas Eve wedding. That way if he gets called, we are already married. It's just easier."

"I agree. I don't like it but I do understand and agree. I hate that you and Ryan have to rush it. Marriage shouldn't be rushed or hurried."

"It's just seven days. I already have my dress, he's wearing his dress uniform, you'll wear a suit that you already have, Hannah is my maid of honor and she is going to wear my dress from your wedding. Maggie was already doing the food for the reception. It's all handled. Ryan and I will do the decorations, which we already have. Polly and the kids will just have to show up, and you are walking me down the aisle. All taken care of."

"Just hate that you'll be leaving so early. I won't even get to spend that much time with you. What about Christmas?"

"Since both sets of parents are having a joint dinner at four, we'll be there."

"You're not going away?"

"I got an email with pictures of our apartment. We might as well being stay in a five star hotel with a view like that. It'll be a long honeymoon that Ryan has to work through."

"Is it safe?"

"As safe as it can be."

"Not convincing."

"Daddy, we'll be fine. You have two new babies to love on and keep you busy. Three years will go by before you know it. You'll barely even notice that I'm not here."

"I doubt that. I'll be missing my oldest baby."

"We'll talk, email, and video chat."

"It's not the same."

"No, it's not but it's better than nothing?"

"Given."

"We probably should head back so you can spend some time with those babies. I'm staying at your house with the kids until you and Polly get home. I was wondering if I could just stay until the 24th?"

"Absolutely. We'd love to have you. We might be home tomorrow. Depends on how the twins do. If not tomorrow, the next day." Grace nodded at him and he pulled her into a hug. His heart was bursting with happiness because of the babies but having Grace leave so soon hurt.

The family all left in the late afternoon because Polly was wearing down. The nurse took Tommy and Rebecca to the nursery to do blood work while their mommy rested. Before Polly settled, she noticed something was off with Mike. Ryan had let them know that deployment and the wedding had been moved up and it was the reason Grace was detaching herself.

"Ryan told us about the wedding and deployment being moved up. I know you're not okay but you're putting on a front for Grace."

"Yeah. It hit pretty hard. I think I'm getting a glimpse of what Christine and the kids went through every time I deployed. It stinks. She did ask to stay with us in between now and the wedding. I told her it was okay. Hope it's alright with you?"

"I would want her there. It won't hurt to have another adult around anyway."

"Yeah. She is detaching herself. It's a coping mechanism. Makes leaving easier."

"For her or us?"

"Both. I always did it too. It would always hit me a day or so later that I should have spent more time with them. Kids always had a rough time with my deployments. Military suggests the detachment but I don't think it's wise."

"You and Hannah are doing wonderfully now but it might explain you not feeling you have a bond with her."

"Very much so. I don't want Grace to not have a bond with Tommy and Rebecca."

"Her staying with us may help with that."

"I hope so. She's an amazing older sister and I want them to know her and love her. I'm afraid if she doesn't forge some sort of bond, when she and Ryan come back, she'll feel out of place and we've already had enough problems with that."

"Mmm Hmm."

"Go to sleep. I love you. You were awesome today."

"Love you too. I had an awesome coach. I loved having you there. Maggie has been amazing but having you next to me was such a blessing."

"I loved being there with you."

Polly nodded and seemed to drift off to sleep. Mike went and checked on the twins who were both doing well. The doctor was anticipating them being released the next day, probably in the afternoon. Tommy was six pounds ten ounces and twenty one inches long and Rebecca was six pounds two ounces and seventeen inches long. The nurse made the remark that Tommy was already showing that he had a temper but loved being close to his sister and it seemed to calm him. Rebecca was a good baby. She hardly cried at all. She reminded Mike a lot of Hannah and he had already gotten a smile out of her. He would be thrilled if she had Hannah's personality.

Polly woke up in the late evening and wanted the babies brought back. She'd ate and the nurse helped her with a bath while Mike got the babies. The rest of their evening was spent cuddling and bonding with the babies. They had already figured out that Tommy was a grump if he was separated from Rebecca. She handled being away from him and loved being held. Mike finally sit down on the bed with Rebecca so that Tommy could see that she was close by as Polly was holding him. Thankfully they had gotten a double bassinet for the babies so they would be co-sleeping in Mike and Polly's bedroom. After the babies were fed, burped, changed and rocked to sleep, Polly fell asleep. There was a couch for Mike to sleep on. He called Grace and spoke with all the kids with the exception of Gabby who was already asleep. After hanging up and checking on the babies and Polly, he laid down the couch and fell asleep fairly quickly.

Rebecca proved to be a very good baby who slept through her first night and Tommy only woke up once. Polly wasn't able to nurse them and so Mike told her to go back to sleep and he fed Tommy. The baby settled back down as soon as he was laid down next to Rebecca.

The doctor came in after breakfast. Polly was doing extremely well and the babies were perfect despite being four weeks early. They were released after lunch. Polly was still sore but wanted to be home. There was plenty of help at home and Polly would be well rested in no time at all.

The house was completely decorated for Christmas when they walked in, with a ton of presents under the tree. Apparently the girls had been shopping. Grace had a roast in the crockpot and Polly found her way back to her and Mike's bed. The babies were in their bassinet and Grace was finishing her finals. When Mike walked in, the three younger kids were nowhere around. He was immediately worried but Grace pointed towards the master bedroom. Polly was sound asleep in their bed. Both boys were on either side of her and Gabby was lying on her chest, sound asleep. Rebecca had woke up but was just looking around. Mike picked her up and sit down on the bed with her with a bottle. Max woke up and smiled at him.

"Rebecca is so pretty."

"Yes. She is."

"Why do you and Mommy keep her hat on her? Is something wrong with her head? She has hair."

"Babies need hats because if the top of their head gets cold, they get cold all over. We try and keep Tommy's hat on him too but he keeps taking it off."

"Oh, and the hair doesn't stop it, Daddy?"

"Nope. Remember when it gets cold, your mommy and I always tell you to keep your stocking cap on? It's the same reason. Happens to everyone, even if they have hair."

"Rebecca has more hair then you do on top. Your head must get really cold. That's why you wear a baseball hat so much?"

"Thanks Max. And yes, that's why I wear a hat."

"Even in the summer?"

"Yep. Do you want to hold her since she's done with her bottle and I've burped her?"

"Yea!" Mike grabbed a pillow from behind him and helped Max hold Rebecca. He could tell there would be a special bond between the two of them. Rebecca had already smiled at Max twice. The little boy was completely enthralled with her.

"Who does she look like, Daddy?"

"It's a little hard to say since she's still so small. I think she looks like your mommy though."

"But her eyes are like yours."

"Yeah, and Tommy's are like your mom's."

"I thought twins look alike? There's these twins in my class. They trick the teacher all the time because they look so much alike. She gets them confused."

"They are probably identical. Tommy and Rebecca are fraternal. It just means they don't have to look alike, but they love being close to each other. Tommy gets mad if his sister isn't close when he's awake."

"Tommy is…what does Mommy say…ornery?"

"I think he will be. He has my temper."

"I heard you tell Mommy that Grace has your temper too. I've never seen either of you get mad but Tommy has already gotten mad a lot."

"He hasn't learned how not to get mad yet. He's still adjusting to being outside of your mom's belly and not always being so close to Rebecca."

"So how do we help him?"

"We keep him close to Rebecca and notice how I have those blankets wrapped around Rebecca? It's called swaddling. Tommy is wrapped up the same way. It makes them feel safe and warm."

"You've done this lots?"

"When Grace's mom and I first had her I was scared to death I'd break her. By the time Hannah was born, I was used to babies. But every baby's personality is different. Rebecca and Hannah are a lot alike. Grace, Tommy and Lucas are alike."

"But they're only a day old? How do you know?"

"Experience. I've been a dad for a long time."

"Oh. I guess so. You're a good one."

"Thank you. You're a good son. Put your hand behind her head. Her neck is still weak and she can't support her head." He positioned Max's hand behind the baby's neck and tickled her cheek which earned him another smile. Hannah and Grace came in and smiled at them. Both girls kicked their shoes off. Grace sit down at the end of the bed and Hannah laid down on Mike's other side.

"There room in here for us?"

"Always. Settle in." Grace laid down across the end of the bed and Hannah laid her head on his shoulder. Max handed Rebecca back to Mike and settled back in. Before Mike realized it, the kids were all asleep. Tommy was sound asleep in the bassinette and the only one awake was Mike and Rebecca.

He looked at every member of his family laying on the bed and thought about the year before at Christmas. He had been in St. Louis, sitting alone in his apartment, and drank himself into a stupor. He thought Grace and Hannah were dead, didn't know Matty even existed, being married to Polly and adopting Max and Gabby would have made him laugh, and having Tommy and Rebecca had never crossed his mind. Rebecca cooed at him and gripped his index finger, giving him a slight smile. It brought him back to the here and now. Polly had woke up and smiled over at him.

"How'd we get them all in here?"

"Rebecca woke up. Tommy is still in the bassinette. The girls came in and I couldn't deny them. Is there a larger bed that we can get?"

"It's a king size so no. It won't happen very often. We'll just enjoy it."

"I kind of wish it would happen more often. Course Grace will be gone in just a couple weeks."

"Just focus on the fact that she's here now."

"How are you feeling?"

"Okay. Sore but I did bring it on myself. No epidural? Twins? Not one of my brighter ideas."

"You're amazing. I barely even knew you were in labor. Other than the fact that my hand and Maggie's hand is bruised."

"You were worried. You asked the doctor several times if things were okay."

"Yeah, for all my trying to convince Matty everything would be okay, when it came down to the brass tacks, I was terrified."

"I think you would have been no matter what."

"Probably. I was terrified that I would lose you."

"I had no intentions of dying. Not until we're both old and gray."

"I'm already gray and according to Max, Rebecca has more hair on top then me."

"She kind of does. She has figured out Hannah and my favorite sleeping position."

"She has. Gabby has you stuck doesn't she?"

"She does and Matty has octopus'd himself around me too."

"Do you need help?"

"Nah. I'm good. Think I'll go back to sleep actually."

"I've got the kids. Love you."

"Love you too."

It didn't take Polly long to fall back to sleep. Rebecca was still awake, looking around and smiling. Mike was pretty well stuck because Hannah had burrowed herself in, not that he was complaining. He was thrilled to have them all so close. He kissed the top of Hannah's head and Rebecca's chubby cheeks which earned him another smile.


	68. Chapter 68

**Five Years Later**

Chapter 68

Grace and Ryan had done a beautiful job decorating for their wedding. They choose to have the service at the church and the reception in the small fellowship hall. Their guest list was small. His Navy buddies, their family, Tom and his family, and everyone from the Sheriff's Department. Maggie took care of the food. Mike helped where he could but Polly was still pretty sore so he was at home taking care of the babies and the younger kids. Hannah did pitch in and help with the decorating and food. Ryan got a call that there was a possibility that they would be leaving as early as the 28th.

Mike spent every free moment he could with Grace. She would hold Rebecca and Tommy but she was definitely distancing herself from them. She was having more trouble distancing herself from Matty and Max. It made Mike dread what would happen when Grace did leave. Hannah understood it because she remembered Mike doing the same thing, she didn't like it, but she did go along with it. Matty and Max didn't understand why Grace wasn't playing with them like she had.

The wedding day dawned. It was a beautiful, crisp day. The wedding was scheduled for one pm. Maggie, Polly and Grace headed for the church early on. Grace's hair had been styled into a cute pixie type cut but the hair dresser had to get her veil just right. It left Mike and Hannah to deal with the five younger kids and get themselves ready which was a massive feat. Gabby was intensely jealous and Matty and Max had gotten into the sugar cookies. Mike was beyond frustrated but thankfully Hannah had the patience of a saint. They finally got them all in the SUV, with Hannah doing her makeup in the mirror.

"Do you really need that crap on your face? I think you look beautiful without it."

"You are biased but thanks. You nervous or something? It's Grace and Ryan getting married."

"I'm nervous about the sugar crash those two back there will have later. I'm foreseeing tummy aches and lots of vomit."

"Yuck. That's where I back up and let you and Polly handle it. There are advantages to being the sister."

"Yeah, sometimes being the parent is no fun. Cleaning vomit up is much better than giving your sister away."

"Don't tell her that."

"Not planning on it. I have to put a happy face on."

"Need my make up?"

"NO!"

"We're here. You ready?"

"NO!"

"Daddy, she'll be fine. You're an amazing dad and we all love you. You are doing the right thing by Grace by letting her go."

"I love you, Sissy. And I have an amazing kids but I definitely am not amazing. Let's get this show on the road. I will get the twins in their stroller. Can you get Gabby?"

"Love you too. And yes. What about the two monkeys?"

"Just pray they don't get sick until after the wedding."

Hannah laughed and they got the babies out of the SUV. Thankfully the boys were minding. Max took Hannah's hand and Matty was "helping" Mike push the stroller. Mike was starting to get nervous and not because of the boys getting sick. Polly met him at the door and smiled at him broadly.

"I got them. She's upstairs. And she is such a beautiful bride. Probably the simplest dress she could have but it's perfect. You have about ten minutes before its go time."

"I wanted longer."

"You're running late. Go, I got them. Hannah will help me get them settled and then will do her job."

Mike kissed Polly and headed upstairs. His stomach was rolling with nerves and he could hear the chatter inside the room where Grace was. Maggie and Abbie were headed out of the door as he walked in and both smiled at him sympathetically. He could see Grace on the far end of the room. She was facing away from him but he was immediately reminded of Christine. He stood at the door watching her for a moment and finally walked in, clearing his throat. She turned around and smiled at him. She looked so much like Christine had.

"God, you look so much like you're mom today. You're absolutely beautiful."

"Thanks, Daddy. Maggie, Abbie and Polly have been great but I'm really missing Mom today."

"I know. I wish she could be here. She would be so proud of you."

"She'd be proud of you too. Let me fix your tie. It's driving me crazy." Mike nodded at her and she went to work on the tie and put on the buttoner.

"Not so sure about that. You have Hannah's pearls on?"

"Yeah, they are my borrowed. It just seemed right. They were Gram's, Mom wore them on her wedding day, Hannah wore them on you and Polly's day, and now I'm wearing them. It just worked."

"You look so much like her. She was a beautiful bride and so are you. Ryan is a lucky man."

"Thanks, Daddy. We'd better get going. And just remember, you're only walking me to Ryan. You can't give away someone that you'll always have."

"I'm trying really hard not to cry."

"I knew you would. Wait 'til you hear the song I picked out for us to dance to."

"Uh-oh."

"Yeah, I may even cry."

She grabbed her bouquet of lilies and pink roses. He covered her face with the veil and she took his arm. They made their way down the steps and he could hear the wedding march start. Ryan and Grace didn't have any bridesmaids or groomsmen. Hannah was maid of honor and one of Ryan's buddies was Best Man. They were already up front with Ryan and Pastor John. The doors were opened by Kirk and one of the other deputies and both leaned over and hugged Grace.

Ryan had the same look on his face that Mike had had when he saw Christine and Polly in their wedding dresses the first time. Once they got to the altar, Mike lifted Grace's veil and kissed her on the cheek and hugged her. He gave Ryan "the look" which earned some laughs. Ryan took Grace's hands after she handed the bouquet over to Hannah. Grace had specifically asked Pastor John not to ask who was giving her away and so Mike headed back to Polly and the kids. She handed him Rebecca as soon as he sit down and Gabby crawled up on his lap. It was comforting to be holding his two youngest daughters while he watched his oldest daughter get married.

The service was very traditional and the same scripture that was read at Mike and Polly's wedding was said again. Towards the end, Polly handed Thomas off to Tom and went up front. She served Ryan and Grace their first communion as a married couple. It was beautiful to watch and there were few dry eyes in the sanctuary. She came back and sit down next to Mike just as Pastor John announced them as a married couple. Ryan was wearing Mike's old wedding band from when he and Christine were married. They made their way out of the sanctuary and everyone headed to the fellowship hall. Mike and Polly got the kids collected and headed that way. The boys had been well behaved throughout the service but Mike was not looking forward to the amount of sugar they would eat during the reception. Maggie had gone all out.

Both Ryan and Grace were not wild about cake. Maggie had insisted on a small cake anyway but there were pies of every variety. There were also trays of fruit, cheese, vegetables and meat. They also didn't want any speeches by the best man or maid of honor. It made for a simple reception. Ryan and Grace danced together and then it was Mike's turn. As promised, the song got him. He had heard it a few other times, but it really hit him. It was the song, "Butterfly Kisses."

"You're killin'me, Gracie."

"I haven't stepped on your feet one time. I do think Hannah is expecting a dance though, so get ready."

"Not what I meant. This song? I was doing just fine until I heard it. People are going to think I'm this big baby as much as I've cried."

"I think they don't mind. The rest of the music is happier."

"Good."

The song ended and Mike kissed Grace on the forehead. As promised the rest of the music was much happier. They ate, danced and laughed. Mike finally settled down and was holding a fussy Gabby when Tom sit down next to him. The twins were sleeping in their stroller and the boys were dancing with Hannah and Grace.

"Remember last Christmas Eve?"

"Yeah, I went to the bar and you followed me because I was spoiling for a fight. You finally convinced me to go back to the apartment where I drank myself to sleep. I woke up midday Christmas Day and started all over again."

"Bet you never imagined this?"

"Nope. As much as I hate seeing them leave, it is so much better than last year."

"They'll be okay. I've made some calls. Their apartment is nice and she will be totally safe."

"I know and I appreciate that. Communications aren't as good as it once was and it's not like I can just jump on a plane and visit them like I would have been able to do before the pandemic."

"It does stink. Him being in intelligence will help some. He may be able to get more messages out then she will."

"You know, I went for years without hearing her voice, knowing if she was alive or dead, that I dread not hearing her voice every day. I know it sounds stupid."

"It doesn't. I wouldn't like it either if it was Ashley."

"I will be thrilled when the three years is over."

"If Ryan becomes career, it won't be his last deployment and she may follow him."

"Or they may have kids and she will want to settle down somewhere safe, like here."

"Well it's Grace. She is perfectly capable of doing a lot on her own."

"I know. And that scares me a lot."

"I bet. She looks so much like Christine. I always thought Hannah resembled her more so, but today Grace looks so much like Christine."

"That's what I thought of as soon as I seen her in that dress."

"Gabby is out for the count. She isn't handling the twins well."

"No. She isn't. She's used to a lot of attention. I hope she adjusts soon."

"Well, they are only four days old. I do appreciate you naming him after me."

"It was the least we could do. Your friendship means a lot. His middle name is Paul, after Polly's first husband and Rebecca's is Christine."

"So unusual."

"It just felt right."

"Where did Rebecca's first name come from?"

"It was one that Polly liked."

"I like it."

"Yeah, I'd never given it much thought but it fits her. She definitely has Hannah's personality which is odd since Hannah is so much like Christine."

"Hannah looks like Christine but her personality is a lot like yours."

"She does love to joke. She offered me her make up earlier."

"It would have been an improvement. Seriously, she is a lot like you."

"I don't think so. In any case, if Rebecca is anything like Hannah, we will be lucky. Tommy is already showing a lot of my negative attributes. Bad temper, impatient, so vocal."

"Poor kid."

"I know, right? He sure loves Rebecca though. I have a feeling she is going to have her hands full with a brother as protective as Tommy."

"Plus her dad, and Matty and Max. Her sisters would scare me a bit too. Ryan's bravery impresses me. Course, you never did threaten him with that shotgun did you?"

"Oh, come on. You'll be just as bad, Uncle Tom? By the time Gabby and Rebecca get to that stage, I will have mellowed, maybe."

"Or got worse. You'll trade your shotgun in for a walker. "

"Remind me again why we're friends? All these jabs?"

"You give as good as you get."

"True. Looks like little Jed is getting frustrated and Sasha is headed this way."

"Yeah I better pull Sam and Hannah apart and get going."

"I hate this whole 'daughter dating' thing. The bad part with them dating is I can't scare Sam."

"I'm just glad Ashley is so career minded. I don't really have to worry about boyfriends with her. Boys are easy."

"I know. And the only reason you don't worry about the boyfriends doesn't mean there aren't any."

"Not nice. I'd better get going. We'll be there for dinner tomorrow. Have a good Christmas."

"Will do, you too. See you at four."

Tom walked away, meeting Sasha midway. Sasha had already summonsed Sam and Hannah went to the kitchen to help in there. Grace sit down next to Mike and tickled Tommy's foot.

"Ryan and I are leaving in a bit. I have to throw my bouquet and he's got to throw the garter. If I don't talk to you after, thank you so much, Daddy. I love you so much."

"I love you too, sweetie. And thank you for letting me walk you down the aisle. It meant a lot to me."

"It meant a lot that you wanted to do it. You could have refused after me asking Alec, and you didn't."

"I would have never refused."

"I hurt you pretty badly."

"I got past it. You almost bleeding to death, dying in my arms, and having to perform CPR on you was what hurt."

"I appreciate what you've done. I'd better get going. See you tomorrow."

"Can't wait. You and Ryan both have presents at the house."

"You didn't have to get us anything. I've got some under the tree at your house for you guys. Go ahead and let the kids open their presents in the morning. If you and Polly want to, you can open yours too."

"We wanted to. And we will probably wait until you guys get there. Have a good night."

Grace nodded at him and leaned over, giving both him and the sleeping Gabby a kiss. She and Ryan threw the bouquet and garter and after a lot of hugs and well wishes, were on their way. The crowd was thinning out and he offered to help clean but Polly told him to sit tight since Gabby was out for the count. Polly, Maggie and Hannah quickly had things cleaned up. The boys were crashed out on a bench in the fellowship hall. Rebecca had woke up and was just looking around. She was such a good baby and would just smile at Mike. Hannah helped him get the kids packed up and he carried both boys out to the SUV. The ride home was quiet because Hannah and Rebecca were the only two awake. Even Polly was half asleep in the passenger seat.

Their evening was pretty quiet. After fixing a couple frozen pizzas, they all cuddled on the couch and watched Christmas movies. Polly read the Christmas story out of her Bible as a bedtime story and they tucked both boys and Gabby in. The boys were excited about all the presents and had left cookies and milk for Santa. Hannah helped Mike set all the presents up while Polly settled the twins down. She finally went to bed and Mike and Polly carried out her presents to put under the tree. They finally settled down and ate the cookies and milk that had been left for Santa.

"You handled today better than I figured you would."

"I hid it well."

"I know you better. The real test is when she and Ryan leave."

"I'll cry like a baby."

"I know. The photographer got a really good picture of you two dancing. She'll have it printed off so Grace can take a copy with her. It was too short of notice to have it by tomorrow."

"I'll have a copy too?"

"Yep. Mike, I'm exhausted. I'm heading to bed. Hopefully Tommy will take a cue from Rebecca and will sleep through the night. I love you."

"Love you too. I'll be in there and just a minute. If he wakes up, I'll handle him. You sleep. Boys will have us up early. I'll stall as long as I can. Thank you for all you did today. It was beautiful"

"I love Grace and I am a little partial to Ryan. When you do come in, lay on your back. I want to sleep on your chest. I've been thinking about that all day."

"Yes, boss. I'll lock up and check on the kids. Be there in just a minute."

Polly nodded and kissed him. He put away the dishes, locked the house up, and shut the lights off. He checked on Hannah, Gabby and both boys, tucking the blankets in closer and giving them all kisses. The twins were sound asleep in their bassinet and he changed into his pajama pants. As soon as he laid down, Polly laid her head on his chest and fell back asleep. He stayed awake a while longer, thinking about the year before. It had been horrible. As much as he was dreading Grace leaving, it had been a much better year. He fell asleep with Polly in his arms and listening to the kids snore.


	69. Chapter 69

**Five Years Later**

Chapter 69

Just after six, Matty and Max both jumped on Mike and Polly's bed. Hannah was right behind them. Tommy had woke up about three but a bottle, diaper change and being cuddled by his daddy quickly appeased him and he went to sleep as soon as he was laid down next to Rebecca. The boys and Hannah did agree to cuddle for a bit but it didn't last because Rebecca woke up.

"Daddy, Santa left so many presents!"

"Max, Santa left you each two presents, the rest are from Mom and I and the girls. Santa can't always give every kid as much, so we agreed that he only needed to give you guys two apiece."

"Oh, right. Can we open them now?"

"Yeah, Daddy, please?"

"Okay. We aren't opening up the presents from Grace until later when she and Ryan are here."

Both boys nodded and Hannah helped Polly with the twins while Mike got Gabby. At almost sixteen months old, the idea of presents was still a new concept to her, so she was happy to sit on Mike's lap and help with the wrapping paper. The boxes and pretty paper was more enticing to her then her many toys. Polly and Hannah put the twins in their bouncy seats and helped Matty and Max with their toys. Santa had gotten them two of the toys they'd asked for; Mike and Polly had gotten them clothes and books. The kids agreed to hold off on opening one of their "Mommy and Daddy" presents and the ones that Hannah and Grace had gotten them until Grace and Ryan were there. The kids were all thrilled with their gifts. Hannah had gotten some riding equipment, a charm bracelet with a couple charms already on it, new clothes and a new Bible. Mike had tucked a note inside it. He had quietly told Hannah about it before she took her presents to her bedroom. He had also written one for Grace that was tucked into one of her presents.

" _Hannah,_

 _You are such an amazing young woman. I am beyond proud to be your dad. I cannot wait to see what you become. I know your mom is also very proud of you. You're so much like her, your heart, your compassion, your personality. It is such a sweet reminder of her, and one I need._

 _You are an incredible daughter. You have repeatedly forgiven me for things I didn't deserve to be forgiven for. How God ever thought for one second, that I deserved a daughter like you is beyond me. I took you for granted for so many years and didn't develop a relationship with you. I robbed myself and you and for that, I am so sorry. I regret that decision and it will be a regret I will take with me to the grave._

 _Besides being an incredible daughter, you are also an amazing sister. Polly and I would have not gotten through the craziness of the last couple days had it not been for you. Gabby adores you, you are Matty and Max's partner in crime, Grace's best friend and the twins will also grow to love you. I can tell they already have you all figured out. You'll be the one to spoil them rotten._

 _I love you so very much,_

 _Daddy"_

When Hannah came out, she gave Mike a huge bear hug. He held onto her for a couple moments until Gabby ran up and hugged Hannah's legs. It meant that she wanted "Sissy Time" and so Mike let her go. He kissed both girls on the top of the head after Hannah had picked Gabby up. Gabby handed him a handful of gift wrap like it was her present to him.

"Lup Ew, Daddy!"

"I love you too, Gabby. Is this my present?"

"Yeah!" Mike laughed at her and kissed her cheek. Polly was working on breakfast and the boys were playing with the boxes making fortresses. He walked up behind her and wrapped his arms around her.

"Spend all kinds of money on toys and books and they want to play with boxes and wrapping paper."

"I think it's cute. That letter really got Hannah."

"Yeah. I wrote one for Grace too."

"They love your notes."

"I guess. Do you need any help? You did just give birth to twins five days ago. You should be relaxing."

"I am good. I was up and going a day or two after both Max and Gabby were born. And I have lots of help this time around. I know if I want to sit I can. That helps."

"I don't want you to wear yourself out. Big dinner this afternoon?"

"I lucked out. I have to do the ham but it won't be bad. I'll have you put it in the oven. I'm going to set Hannah to peeling potatoes. Cream corn will go in the crockpot, and salad. Maggie is doing the other vegetables, rolls and pies. Grace is making her sweet potatoes."

"It sounds like you have it figured out. But seriously, I'll help."

"Just tend to the kids. That'll be a huge help."

"They are occupied with boxes and wrapping paper."

"The novelty will wear off."

"Yeah, Matty don't put that box on your head and run around! You'll crack your head open."

"Like I said, tend to the kids, Mike."

"Yes, boss. Holler if you need help."

"I will. Text Grace and invite her to breakfast. They may not come out but the invitation won't hurt."

"Yes, boss."

Mike kissed Polly's temple and stole a piece of bacon. She slapped his hand and laughed when he almost dropped the too hot piece of bacon. He sat down on the couch with Hannah and pulled Gabby onto his lap. The living room was a disaster but the boys were having a good time. Tommy and Rebecca were both sound asleep and Hannah was trying to help with the boys. He took his phone out and texted Grace. He was missing her.

 _"Morning, sweetie. Merry Christmas. If you and Ryan want to come out for breakfast, we'd love to have you. If not, we'll see you guys at 4. I love you!"_

 _"We were just discussing breakfast. We may come out. I haven't been grocery shopping since we're leaving so soon. Love you too and Merry Christmas to you all."_

 _"Well, you're more than welcome…and don't remind me how soon you're leaving!"_

 _"We'll be out shortly."_

 _"Alright, be careful."_

He sit Gabby back down on the couch right next to Hannah and headed towards the kitchen to begin setting the table. He let Polly know that Grace and Ryan were headed out and had the table set up in no time at all. Tommy woke up, demanding his bottle loudly. Mike took him and got the bottle that Hannah had prepared, sitting in the recliner with him. When Grace and Ryan came in, he was burping Tommy and Rebecca had woke up, wanting her bottle. Thankfully she was more patient then Tommy. Grace picked her up and sit on the couch waiting on Hannah to bring the bottle over.

"Rebecca is such a good baby. So patient." Grace was holding her and making faces at her.

"Yeah, her brother needs lessons. She already sleeps through the night and barely ever cries."

"That's how Matty was. It helped a lot. I was going through some stuff and found some of his baby pictures. They're in the Explorer. I figured you wanted them."

"I do. But take what you want."

"I already have picked out what I wanted. Ryan and I are just going with our clothes. The apartment is partially furnished and we'll get the rest while we're there. Maggie and Alec are keeping the apartment here for us."

"And you'll still be able to come home in a year and a half?"

"So far, yes. I thought about trying to get a job but Ryan wants me to concentrate on school. Supposedly the online classes are more difficult."

"I agree that you need to concentrate on school. Have you decided on a major?"

"Right now, Criminal Justice."

"Subject to change?"

"Yeah, possibly."

"When's the go date?"

"They want us there by the 28th, so tomorrow. We just got the call this morning and I didn't want to tell you over the phone. We wanted a day to get settled slightly. Apparently they really need someone with Ryan's training there."

"Too soon for my liking."

"If we had a year, it would still be too soon."

"Yeah, it would. Do Maggie and Alec know?"

"When we get done with breakfast, we'll go over there. And then we'll be back at four for dinner. Our flight leaves at three pm tomorrow afternoon and we're pretty much packed. We will come say our goodbyes before we go. Ryan arranged transport to pick us up here, seemed easier. He's leaving his truck with his dad and I figured I would leave the Explorer here with you to have an extra vehicle."

"Have you got enough money to travel with?"

"I've got plenty. I do have another check coming. The county bought out my sick and vacation time. If you don't care can you pick it up, and deposit for me? I'm keeping that checking account open. I put your name on the account. The county is going to write the check to you. I will also leave you a checkbook. It'll be enough to make my car payment for a couple months and I will send you money to put in periodically to make the payment. Alec decided not to hire anyone for my position, just a temporary fill. He has a theory that I will get homesick and will come home. Especially if Ryan and I have a baby. I don't agree but he's convinced."

"I don't disagree with him."

"Well, his other theory is that you will be the temp. Even said he can sit up a playpen for the twins there."

"Wow. He's lost his mind."

"Yeah, I can't imagine it either. You're okay with handling the car payment and such? The business stuff? Ryan made me go to the attorney last week; he had me appoint you as a power of attorney for myself. Since we're married, he'll still be able to make my decisions if I can't but where stuff here is concerned, he thought it needed to be you and I agreed."

"It's smart and I agree. And of course, I don't mind doing that stuff for you. All this seems so official."

"I wanted to iron out this stuff today so we can just concentrate on the goodbyes tomorrow. I will bring out all the paperwork tonight when we come for dinner. The attorney needs you to come by and sign off on paperwork. Ryan has done the same with his parents. He had everything all set up though; he just had to add my name. We will be each other's primary but felt it was good to include you guys. I should have probably added Polly but it was easier to just put you."

"It's fine. She'll understand. I remember doing the same thing before every deployment. Updating the will, power of attorney's, the whole bit. Your mom was used to it. The couple weeks before was dedicated to this stuff, house repairs, checking vehicles over, the whole nine yards."

"I don't remember any of that stuff. I just remember you getting distant."

"Yeah, in hindsight, I shouldn't have done that. I should have treasured the time I had with you guys."

"I also remember the night before you'd leave. You would tuck us all in, even as we got older and stay with us until we went to sleep. I remember that last night, falling asleep in your arms."

"If I had realized then that it would be the last time I held Lucas, I would have stayed with him longer. I also would have stayed with you and Hannah longer, if I had known that it would be the last time I would watch you guys fall asleep for six years."

"You didn't know then that it was the last time. It was just another deployment. You thought you'd be home in four or five months."

"I know. It's just a regret that I will live with. I've been able to somewhat make it up where you and Hannah are concerned. Not as much as I should but I can live with it, Lucas will nag at me for the rest of my life."

"He knew that you loved him. Mom told me that at the end, they had him so drugged up that he wasn't in any pain. Just kind of slipped away. I guess I should have told you about that when you first showed back up. It never seemed right to bring it up. She called it 'peaceful.' Most of those deaths weren't, so Lucas was, I guess, lucky to have that kind of death."

"I guess. Doesn't really help the hurt but thank you for telling me. I do really want to concentrate on you today and tomorrow though. And breakfast is ready."

"And I'm hungry. But Daddy, just remember, Lucas would not want you hurting like that. He would want you happy. He'd be thrilled with how things have turned out. Mom would have too. Fixate on that and the here and now. They wouldn't want you to dwell on what you didn't get to do, or the fact that what you did do was the last time."

"I am going to miss you so much." They both stood up and with his free arm, he wrapped it around Grace. He was holding Tommy and she was holding Rebecca and so he didn't get to give the hug that he would like to. He kissed the top of her head and they both laid the twins down in their bassinet. They sit down for breakfast and Polly said the blessing. Conversation was light and happy. The boys told Grace what they had gotten for Christmas and what they were doing for the rest of their Christmas vacation. Hannah and Polly knew that Grace and Ryan were leaving the next day but no one knew how to explain it to the two boys. Matty especially would be heartbroken. Ryan helped Polly and Hannah with the dishes and the boys and Gabby went back to playing with their boxes and wrapping paper. Grace was clearing the table and Mike was helping her.

"Matty is gonna have a rough time."

"Yeah, Daddy, I know. I don't quite know how to tell him. He knows I'm leaving but he doesn't know it will be so soon. Can I tuck him in tonight?"

"Absolutely. Just be honest with him. He'll be okay. It will just take him some time. He will always have a unique relationship with you. Polly has stepped into the mom role but you are much more than just the big sister for him. You did a phenomenal job with him and I am beyond proud of you. As painful as it is to see you and Ryan leave and as much as I will miss you, I am glad that you have this opportunity. It's healthy for you."

"I know, I am just terrified that when it's time for us to come home, I won't be a part of his life, or anyone's life. The twins won't know who I am, Gabby won't remember me or Ryan, Matty and Max will be nine and Hannah will be in college."

"You will always be a part of our lives. You hold a huge piece of all of our hearts and you won't be forgotten. We will talk about you, show Gabby and the twins pictures, there will be video chat when it's available, and hopefully you'll be back in a year and a half for a visit. But I promise, you will always have a place in this family. Don't worry about it."

"Thanks, Daddy. And yes, we are definitely going to visit. Ryan and I had better get going. We'll see you for dinner." Mike kissed her forehead and she and Ryan left. Polly seemed to have sensed his mood and walked over and wrapped her arms around him.

"You okay? I heard you guys talking about Lucas."

"Yeah, she told me what the end was like. He wasn't in pain. She's worried that we'll forget her and she won't be a part of the family."

"We will just have to make sure that won't happen. You okay with what she told you about Lucas?"

"It could have been worse."

"It still hurts that he's gone. That'll never go away."

"No, it won't. I can't help but think of all the 'could have beens.'"

"It's normal. You will always do that."

"And I was hoping you would tell me it would get better."

"No, I think it'll get worse. Sorry."

"Not nice."

"You'll be okay. The kids can't replace Lucas but they can help the bad moments seem better. They can't stop the bad moments or days but their hugs, smiles, laughter and just the day to day will help. And I'll be there too."

"You're the best. I love you. What do you need me to do now? I need to stop thinking about Lucas and Grace leaving."

"No, you don't need to stop thinking about Lucas. You need to treasure you're time with Grace. In the meantime, try and get the boys to clean up the living room and look after Gabby and the twins. Hannah wants to help in the kitchen. And I love you too."

Mike nodded at her and gave her a kiss. She was right, as always. It was not fair to not think about Lucas. He deserved it. Mike kept himself with trying to help the boys clean up the disaster in the living room and appeasing Gabby. She was not handling not being the baby of the family well at all. He made a point to love on her as much as possible. He finally settled in the recliner and cuddled Gabby. The boys were playing with their toys, the twins were sleeping, and Polly and Hannah were in the kitchen. It was a pretty peaceful afternoon and he did allow himself to think about Lucas.


	70. Chapter 70

Very emotional chapter. Have the tissues ready! Reviews are welcomed! There is one maybe two more chapters left in store for this story.

 **Five Years Later**

Chapter 70

The next morning, Ryan was putting the last of their luggage in the Explorer when he found an unopened envelope with Grace's name on it in sitting on the floorboard. It must have dropped out of one of the bags that had been carried in the night before. It looked like Mike's handwriting on the outside of the envelope. He grabbed it and carried it into the apartment with him. Grace was cleaning things up before they left for his parents.

"Hey, babe. I found this on the floorboard of the Explorer. Must have dropped out of your gift bag. Looks like your dad's handwriting."

"Yeah, it is. He always writes us notes. It's sweet. I have all of the ones he's ever written me."

"Well, I'll finish up. Why don't you read it?"

"Yeah, I will. I bet I cry."

"You cry?"

"His letters get pretty emotional. He doesn't mean it that way but they do."

"Well you should read it." Grace nodded at him and sit down on the couch. Ryan headed out with another load, the last one. The apartment was essentially empty except for furniture. It felt odd. It was the place that she called home for five years. She'd raised Matty and Hannah there. Matty had taken his first steps in the living room. They'd celebrated birthdays and Christmas, and had had Thanksgiving dinners there. They had grieved for their mother and missed their dad there. And now Hannah and Matty lived with their dad and Grace was leaving. It just felt so strange. Grace decided to open the letter and cry.

" _Gracie,_

 _You have no idea how proud I am of you. You have become such a strong, beautiful, capable young woman. You have become exactly who I wanted you to become. Any father would want his daughter to go to college and become some professional but what you've done is so much more than that. You were the glue that held my family together and what kept us bound together. Had it not been for you, there is no telling where Hannah or Matty would have ended up. I would have not met Polly, adopted Max and Gabby or had Tommy and Rebecca._

 _You definitely could have done without being raped and attacked and the physical and emotional trauma it caused, but you have shown so much strength and have overcome it. I'm so proud of you._

 _You and I have fought and argued over a myriad of issues. Generally it was because I was overstepping and not letting you be the adult that you fought to become. For that I'm sorry._

 _You and Ryan are both so special. I have no doubt that you will be an amazing wife and eventually a mother. You have already proven to be a wonderful mother figure to Hannah and Matty. Your children will be blessed to have you as their mother. You will be the same type of mom that your mom was to you. Patient, always loving, gentle but strong, and comforting._

 _I told Hannah that I didn't understand why God thought I was deserving of a daughter like her and that goes for you too. Probably even more so. I am going to miss you every second that you're in Spain. As much as I hate to see you go, I understand and agree that you need this time with Ryan to just be a wife. It will set the course for your entire marriage. It's healthy. And when it's time for you to come home, I will be here waiting on you guys and I will welcome you with open arms. Don't worry about the kids._

 _I do expect emails, phone calls and video chats as often as possible._

 _I love you so very much,_

 _Daddy"_

Grace was wiping the tears away when Ryan walked in and he smiled at her. He sit down next to her and wrapped his arms around her. They needed to get going. His parents would be easier to say goodbye to. Grace was dreading saying goodbye to Matty, probably even more so then her dad. Matty didn't understand why she was leaving and had already asked her if their dad had made her mad again. She had made it very clear the night before that their dad was not the cause of her leaving and that she would be back but Matty was only six. He didn't understand it.

Ryan went out to the Explorer to warm it up and Grace did one more walk through of the apartment. It was clean and the furniture was staying in place. Maggie and Alec didn't want anyone else living there and so it would be there when she and Ryan came home. Alec was also essentially holding her job for her. It did make her feel slightly better. She locked the apartment up and headed out the door, trying not to think about all the memories there.

Maggie had breakfast for them and Alec had taken off the morning. They kept conversation fairly light. They had already dealt with Ryan deploying once so they were slightly more prepared. They liked the idea that Grace was going with him and that he wasn't going into a war zone. They hugged and kissed both of them and Alec promised Grace that he would keep her dad busy. There were more tears especially on Maggie's part. It was a bit harder than Grace thought it would be. They finally got in the Explorer and headed towards her dad's.

"This is not going to be fun at all."

"No, I feel bad for your little brother."

"Which one?"

"Matty. Max will be okay and Tommy is young."

"Matty worries me. He asked me last night if Dad had done something to make me mad."

"Make it clear that it's me taking you away. I'd rather he be mad at me than your dad."

"That's sweet."

"Or I'll tell him. Regardless, he shouldn't be mad at your dad. We're here. You ready?"

"No."

"We have a little over an hour before transport gets here."

Grace nodded and they headed inside. Polly greeted them both with a hug. Tommy was fussing and Mike was in the recliner with him. Matty and Max were playing in the living room floor. The kids all seemed to have sensed the reason for the visit and had gotten quiet. Grace leaned down and gave Mike a kiss on the cheek and whispered in his ear. "Thank you for the letter. I love you so much. Let me handle Matty, please?" He nodded at her and kissed her back.

"Matty, let's go in your room for a bit."

Matty followed Grace into his room and she shut the door behind them. He sit down on his bed and she sit down next to him. She hadn't realized how hard it would be.

"Matty, you asked me last night if Daddy had done something to make me mad and that was why I was leaving. I promise you, he didn't. Ryan and I got married and Ryan is being sent to Spain by the Navy. I decided to go with him. Daddy didn't really have anything to do with the decision. I want to be with my husband. But aside from that, I think it's important that I go. You need this time with Daddy. He loves you so much and you need to recognize him and Polly as your mom and dad. As long as I'm here, you may not, I'll be the fallback. I want you to depend on them. He's an amazing daddy and Polly is an amazing mom. This is me hitting the reset button. So, please don't be mad at him. He doesn't want me to leave either. It's time for me step out of the mom role and just be your big sister. I love you; Matty, but we all need this. I need it, you need it, and Daddy and Polly need it."

"But I'll miss you."

"And I'll miss you too. I will come back though. And we'll talk on the phone and video chat as much as possible. If you want to be mad, be mad at me but not Daddy. He loves you so very much. If I didn't think he was capable of being a good dad for you, I wouldn't be leaving. I know how good of a daddy he is. He's been mine too for a lot of years. Promise me, Matty. Give him a chance. He deserves it and so do you."

Matty nodded at her and she hugged him close. They both cried a little and she finally pulled away. She wanted to spend some time with the rest of her family. They only had about an hour before transport showed up. Matty grabbed her hand and they headed out of the bedroom. She nodded at Mike and let go of Matty's hand, gently shoving him towards Mike. Matty ran towards Mike and he picked him up, and held him close. It made Grace tear up again because if nothing else it was symbolic. She could hear Matty crying into Mike's shoulder and he was rubbing his hand over Matty's back. She wanted to hug Mike but Matty needed him at the moment and she couldn't intrude on that. It would defeat the purpose.

Grace held Tommy and Rebecca, played with Gabby a bit and hugged Max. Hannah and she both cried as they hugged. Polly had cried the entire time. Thankfully the twins were both pretty calm and allowed themselves to be laid back down in their bassinet when Grace was done holding them. Mike had finally sit Matty down next to Polly and she had immediately pulled him in close. The little boy was now crying into her shoulder.

"Mike, why don't you and Grace go for a walk, maybe to the dock? You don't have too long before transport gets here."

"Yeah, I'll watch for transport and help Aunt Polly with the kids. You guys go." Ryan told them and Mike and Grace both nodded. They headed out but ended up staying on the back deck. They didn't really talk, just sit and cried. Ryan finally stuck his head out of the door. "Transport will be here in ten minutes."

"Daddy, we'll be okay. I know you're worried but we'll be okay."

"Still gonna worry. I am going to miss you, so, so much. It's going to be so weird here without you and Ryan."

"I know. I told Matty to not be mad at you. He thought that you had upset me and that's why I was leaving and that he needs to learn how to depend on you and Polly. I'm the fallback and I can't be that anymore. I just want to be the big sister. You are an amazing dad and we are all beyond blessed to have you. I'm more or less hitting the reset button. When I come home, things will be different but it will be a good kind of different."

"Thank you, sweetheart. Promise me you'll continue your college?"

"I will."

"Alright, well I guess it's time I let you go? The transports hate waiting."

"Yeah, it's that time. They'll be here any minute. I don't want to say goodbye though. It seems so final. See you later?"

"See you later will have to work. I don't like goodbye either."

"I love you so much, Daddy. Thank you for letting me go. I know it's hard."

"I love you too. It's probably the hardest thing I've ever done. God, I'm going to miss you." He pulled her into a bear hug and they just held each other. He kissed her on the forehead and let her go just as Ryan came back out the back door.

"Babe, it's time. I'll stall them but you don't have long."

Mike nodded at him and they headed inside. Both of them had been crying and looked horrible. He shook Ryan's hand before he went back out front. Grace hugged each of the kids and kissed Gabby and the twins. Matty ran back to Mike with his arms raised up, and Mike immediately picked him up. Grace could hear Matty crying into Mike's shoulder again and she gently rubbed his back as she was walking past to get to Polly. She handed Gabby over to Hannah and pulled Grace into a hug.

"I'll take good care of them, I promise. But you have to promise me, you'll take care of yourself and Ryan?"

"I will. Thank you for everything that you've done for me and them…Mom."

"I love you, so much, sweetie. So, so much, daughter."

"I love you too."

Grace pulled away and nodded at Polly. She rubbed Matty's back and kissed Mike's cheek again, giving him another hug. It was time. She pulled away and Mike nodded at her. He understood.

"Go, sweetie. We all love you and will miss you. I'll take care of the kids. And I will be beyond ready when you come home. It's time for you to go."

"I love you."

"I love you too. Now, go. But do stay in touch."

"I will."

Walking out, Grace understood what her dad had felt like all those times he'd deployed. And she wasn't even in the military. It had to have been horrible for him. Ryan had the luggage loaded and was waiting on her. She climbed into the back of the SUV and he turned around and looked at her from the front passenger seat.

"Grace, don't look back. It'll only hurt."

She nodded at him and wiped the tears off her face. She hadn't been prepared for how hard it was. Matty's reaction really got her and she hoped that her dad would be able to comfort him. It would be a miserable time for him if not. Grace watched the landscape as they drove. She was already home sick but she also wanted to go.

Back at the house, Matty was still crying on Mike's shoulder. His shirt was soaked through with tears. He finally sit down in the recliner and cuddled Matty up close to him. The little boy was so upset and Mike was concerned he would make himself sick.

"Matty, I know you're upset. I am too. But Grace wouldn't want you this upset. You're going to make yourself sick."

"Aren't you gonna miss her?"

"Every single second of every day. And there will be times that I'll be even sadder and I'll cry too."

"I still don't understand it."

"What don't you understand?"

"You said you'll be sad and cry. You said before the twins were born that being a dad makes you happy but you still cry."

"Yeah. It doesn't make much sense. And you being so sad makes me sad. Really sad. But being able to hold you and maybe make you smile again makes me happy."

"I don't think I can smile again."

"Oh, I bet I can make you smile again." Mike lifted him up and carried him to couch. He laid him down and started tickling him and blowing raspberries on his cheeks. At first Matty was resistant but he finally started giggling wildly. It had the desired effect because Matty was smiling and laughing which only served to remind Mike of Christine and Lucas but it was something he could handle. Rebecca had started crying, wanting her bottle and it was only a matter of time before Tommy woke up.

"Want to help me give your sister her bottle?"

"Yeah! I love helping with them."

"I know you do. You're a great big brother."

"You're a great daddy."

Mike leaned over and kissed Matty's cheek before walking to the crib and picking Rebecca up. Hannah walked over with her bottle and a pillow and handed it to him once Mike and Matty were settled. Mike handed her Rebecca and once he got the pillow on Matty's lap, she settled the baby on it and Rebecca immediately smiled at Matty which caused him to smile again. Mike helped him with getting Rebecca to take the bottle and supported her neck. Matty was totally enthralled and had brightened considerably. Rebecca had the ability of putting anyone in a good mood.

The rest of their day was spent cuddling with the babies. Even Gabby sit on Mike's lap for a bit watching Tommy take his bottle. She wasn't quite as enthralled as what Matty was. Somehow Mike ended up with both babies and Matty sound asleep on top of him. Polly came over and threw a blanket over them and kissed all three kids.

"You okay?"

"Debatable. I'll feel better once I know they've landed in Spain."

"Yeah, me too. You didn't sleep well last night. Why don't you try and nap?" Mike nodded at her and she gently pulled both babies out of his arms, handing Tommy over to Hannah. They both leaned down and kissed Mike's cheek. Hannah pulled the blanket back over both him and Matty and Mike leaned the chair back and fell asleep. He was emotionally exhausted.


	71. Chapter 71

**Five Years Later**

Chapter 71-Five Years Later

Grace tucked the blanket around the small baby. He was perfect. At only three days old, he had fussed very little on the long international flights. It had been five years since she had been home. The visit had fallen through and then Ryan had been reassigned to Italy. After Italy was Ireland. She had kept in touch with their families by emails and occasional calls. They had not been able to do any of the video chats. Ryan and she had kept her pregnancy a surprise and when the baby was born slightly earlier than they expected, they readjusted plans yet again. Ryan had quite a while off work and it would be a long time before he deployed again, and it was undecided if Grace and the baby would follow. Neither family knew they were coming home on Christmas Eve either. Ryan had weaseled out of his dad that they were having dinner at her mom and dad's at five and so Ryan and she rented a car, packed the baby up and headed home. She was beyond excited.

The baby fussed very little on the drive and just looked around wide eyed. Grace was still pretty sore from the long labor and difficult delivery and was eagerly anticipating relaxing on her dad's couch. And actual American food. Ham, mashed potatoes, sweet potatoes, corn. Spain, Italy and Ireland had been great but she had missed Maggie and Polly's cooking. And her dad's hugs and Alec's jokes. She'd missed a lot. They finally pulled up to her dad's house and it didn't look any different. Maggie's car, Polly's SUV and her dad's truck was parked; her old Explorer was sitting there and Hannah's Mustang.

"Babe, I'll get him out. Why don't you go ring the doorbell. They'll be thrilled." She nodded at him and headed towards the door. She saw the Christmas tree through the living room window and could hear the laughter. She rang the doorbell and waited. She could hear her dad's voice asking Polly if they were expecting anyone else and then he opened the door and she found herself engulfed in a massive bear hug.

"Oh, Gracie. Why didn't you call? It's so good to see you. What a surprise! Where's Ryan? How, When?"

"Ryan will be here in just a second. He's getting something out of the car. We just got back this afternoon. Wanted to be here for dinner. It's good to see you too. So good!" Mike squeezed her and kissed her on the forehead. The entire family was gathering around and everyone was hugging her. "Does Ryan need help? You must have luggage?"

"It's not luggage that he's getting."

"Then what?" Her dad was looking at her suspiciously.

"Your grandson."

There were several whoops of excitement and Ryan made his way in with the car seat and diaper bag. Everyone crowded around the baby once Ryan sit the car seat on the counter. Everyone had all but forgotten about Grace and Ryan except for Matty. Matty had immediately pulled Grace into a hug and hadn't let her go. He was almost as tall as she was and had filled out. He was definitely not a little boy anymore. Ryan had stolen a roll from the table and handed one to Grace. They hadn't eaten since breakfast. Polly noticed them eating the rolls and immediately started preparing them plates and having Hannah set extra spaces at the table. Maggie alternated between hugging her son, checking on Grace to make sure she was okay and crying over her brand new grandson.

"Sorry we didn't let you all know we were coming home. The last couple days have been a bit crazy."

"How old is he? You guys go ahead and eat." Mike was holding the baby and Grace could tell that the baby and he would have a very special bond. Of course Alec and he would too.

"Three days old. He wasn't due until the fourth of January but he had other ideas. The plan was that we would be home and settled before he made his entrance but it didn't quite work that well." Grace was sitting next to Mike and eating on the massive plate of food that Polly had sit in front of her. Ryan and Alec were carrying in the luggage.

"You didn't tell us you were pregnant? I think we all suspected it, especially when Ryan told us you weren't getting over the flu."

"Wanted it to be a surprise and didn't want the anxiety I knew it would cause."

"I see. And you and him are okay? What's his name?"

"We're good. I am ready for the couch though. A sixteen hour flight three days after giving birth was not one of my better ideas. We wanted to be home for Christmas. As far as his name, wait until Alec gets inside."

"Okay. That's just a tad bit suspicious. Matty, why don't you and Max go out and help with the luggage?"

Matty groaned but after a look from his dad, got up and he and Max went outside. Matty had sit down next to Grace and seemed only interested in staying next to her.

"He's getting so tall. And grown up."

"Yeah, he is. Just a word of warning, eleven year old boys are not for the light of heart."

"And you have two of them?"

"Yeah. So how long are you here?"

"Well, Ryan is on leave for a while but once he redeploys, I think I'm gonna sit tight…If that's okay?"

"I would love that."

"I figured." Ryan and Alec had moved in all the luggage and everyone sit back down to eat. The table was crowded and loud. Mike was still holding the baby who had fallen asleep in his arms. More food was passed around and Ryan and Grace were both hit with a multitude of questions. Mike had passed the baby to Alec and was eating.

"So Alec and Ryan are back, what's the baby's name?"

"Michael Alec."

Grace could see the tears in both men's eyes. It had been a huge debate between her and Ryan whether the baby would be named Michael Alec or Alec Michael, but Ryan finally admitted that the world didn't really need two Alec Smith's.

"Dad, I was wanting to name him Alec Michael but Grace and I both agreed this family didn't need two Alec's and we've already started calling him Mikey."

"It's perfect. Thank you." Alec smiled over at Mike and touched Mikey's cheek. Maggie and Polly were both crying too. Mike was completely speechless but had kissed Grace on the side of the head. The twins and Gabby were eating at a smaller table and weren't very interested in anything going on. They had all grown up so much. Hannah was full grown and in college. She and Sam were still dating but she was insistent that she wasn't getting married until after college and she had taught for a full year. The boys were both eleven and had grown so much. She had missed out on a lot.

They ate and visited. They all agreed that Grace, Ryan and Mikey would stay at Mike and Polly's since it was slightly more baby friendly and they would all eat at Maggie and Alec's for dinner the next day. Grace tried to help with dishes but Polly had taken her with both hands on her shoulders and sit her down on the couch. It was a relief and Matty immediately sit down next to her. Everyone was cleaning up and holding the baby and so it gave her a few minutes with him.

"You've grown up so much."

"I guess that's normal? When do you and Ryan leave again?"

"It'll be awhile before Ryan leaves and I'll be staying here…or maybe not here, here. But maybe at the apartment."

"That's good. I've missed you."

"I've missed you too. How are things going?"

"Dad won't let me…"

"Matty, I won't get in the middle of any arguments that you and Daddy have. I saw the way you reacted when he told you to go help Ryan and Alec. He loves you a lot. He is just trying to teach you to be responsible. It's his job as your dad."

"I just wish we could go back to how things were before you left. He's changed…"

"No, Matty, he hasn't. You have. You've grown and you don't need him in the same ways you used to. He doesn't like it. He told me once that he loves it when we need him. It didn't make any sense to me until I had Mikey. So, now, just need him. When is the last time you gave him a hug?"

"He tried to give me one yesterday…"

"But you didn't let him?"

"No. None of the boys my age hug their dads. It's weird."

"No, it's not. Dad is a hugger. I love his hugs and I've missed them. You also need to remember, you're older now then what Lucas ever got to be. Let him hug you and hug him back. There will come a day when you won't be getting anymore hugs from him and you'll regret not letting him. And that crap about boys not hugging their dads? That doesn't work in this family. Now, go! Hug him."

"Now? With everyone here?"

"Maggie, Ryan and Alec don't mind. Did you not see Ryan give Alec a hug earlier? He's a full grown man with a son of his own. He's not embarrassed to give his dad a hug, so why are you?

"I…"

"Go, Matty. I said so!"

Hannah sit down next to her and laughed at Matty's reaction. Grace hugged her close. Hannah looked even more like their mom but she definitely had a personality all her own. The pink streak in her dark brown hair had been replaced by a blue one and she had a nose ring and Hannah had noticed a tattoo on her wrist when her sleeve pulled up.

"So what's with the nose ring and tattoo? I bet Daddy had a fit."

"Actually the tattoo is a father/daughter thing. He has one too. And he mentioned you getting one when you got home."

"I think that will be something between you and Daddy. But let me see?" Hannah pulled her sleeve up and it was a very tasteful infinity symbol in solid black ink. It could be easily covered with a watch or sleeve.

"It's nice. Daddy with a tattoo though? And not having a coronary if you had one?"

"Well that was the condition. If I got one, it had to be one he felt comfortable with enough to get. So we picked the infinity symbol."

"What's the significance?"

"Unending love. That's why he wants you to have one too. I would imagine as the other kids get older, they'll get one too."

"Well, I might. Maybe. And you and Sam?"

"Yeah, he's asked me to marry him several times but he is just going to have to wait until after I get out of school and have taught for a while."

"And he's okay with that?"

"If he wants to be with me, he'll have to wait."

"You sound like Daddy!"

"And he says I sound like Mom."

"I think he's confused a bit. College is going good?"

"Yeah. I have a 4.0 GPA and have been working as a paraprofessional. I love it."

"That's great. Oh thank goodness, Matty is giving Daddy a hug like I told him to."

"Yeah, that was starting to really bother Daddy. He's always felt like there is a disconnect between him and Matty since he was gone until Matty was almost six. I don't think there is. Matty has just gotten it into his head that boys his age don't spend time with their dads or hug them. It's stupid."

"It is. Max isn't like that is he?"

"No. Max will give hugs. He's had a rough time since he found out about his mom's attack. He's leaned a lot on Daddy."

"Daddy told me in an email. It has to be hard on him knowing."

"It is and he's so young still. He's terrified that he will be like her attacker. There wasn't much Mom could do to help him. Dad stepped in."

"I would have expected that. Makes me feel bad for him."

"Yeah. I can't believe that idiot filed for custody. I have never seen Mom so scared."

"I wish I had been here."

"Well it worked out. Daddy adopting him helped. Guy had no legal claim. But it did a lot of damage where Max was concerned. Between Daddy and Alec, they spent a lot of time with him, trying to fix it."

"Hopefully Max will be okay."

"I think he will."

"What happened to the guy?"

"Not sure. After he lost the custody battle, he just disappeared. There are rumors around town but no one knows."

"Rumors that Daddy and Alec…?"

"Yeah and Uncle Tom."

"They'll never talk. Its best that it just stays in the past and Max heals as much as he can."

"Yep. So why didn't you tell anyone you were pregnant?"

"Mostly because I didn't want the anxiety that it would cause. The pregnancy was normal, the delivery was rough."

"That would have terrified Daddy and Matty both."

"Yeah, Ryan wanted to call him but I wouldn't let him. He thought it would help to hear his voice."

"It might have but Daddy would have definitely had a coronary. He's really missed you a lot. He sure loves Mikey already."

"I knew he would."

"Well, I'd better go help Mom with the rest of the clean-up. Maybe steal Mikey away from Daddy. What a baby hog!"

Hannah got up and headed for the kitchen. Mike was sitting on one of the barstools holding Mikey and shook his head with Hannah reached for him. The baby was settled into his chest and was sound asleep. Hannah made a face but kissed the baby on top of the head and gave Mike a kiss on the cheek. She started helping Polly with dishes and putting food away. Ryan was talking to his parents in the dining room and the younger three kids were playing in their rooms. Max and Matty had gone outside to bring in wood for the night. Grace maneuvered herself off the couch and sit down next to her dad. She knew Polly would not go for helping clean up.

"He's already figured out about sleeping on your chest."

"Yeah. I will never figure out what the draw is with that."

"Well, I always felt safe when I slept like that."

"I guess. Polly loves it."

"Safety, security, love."

"I guess. It's going to be nice to have you guys here. I've missed you a whole lot."

"I've missed you too. A lot. I was glad to see Matty giving you a hug."

"Yeah. It felt good. He's been listening to too many kids his age. He was so affectionate when he was little, it was a little hard to get used to. Having you around is going to be good for all of us."

"Only because of Mikey, right?"

"He's an added bonus but I'm really thrilled to have you here, baby or not."

"Here, I'll take him. I bet it's the twin's bedtime?"

"Yeah." He handed the baby over to Grace and kissed her on the forehead. The boys came in and he instructed them on where he wanted the wood stacked at. Grace noticed how Max's smile didn't quite connect with his eyes and he just seemed sadder. It made her hurt for him. Polly had told her in an email that Max rarely slept through a night without having a nightmare and how worried she was about him. It had been a really rough time for her family and Polly had been absolutely terrified that she would lose her son. It made Grace thankful that she hadn't faced what Polly had faced. She couldn't have done it.

The boys finished up their chores and Grace made a point to give Max an extra-long hug. He was still the very sweet boy he had always been and was just as funny. Maggie and Alec left after giving lots of hugs and kisses, especially to Mikey. Her dad and Polly had got the three youngest kids in bed after promising that Santa would be visiting through the night. Mike set up an old bassinet in the guestroom that Grace and Ryan would be sharing and all their luggage had been carried in. Polly had offered to watch the baby through the night so Grace and Ryan could rest but Grace didn't want them to lose sleep too. Ryan was sound asleep as soon as his head hit the pillow and Grace wasn't too far behind him. She heard her dad and Polly's voices and it was so oddly comforting. The bed was so comfortable and Ryan was so warm and his left arm was already around her. Mikey was sound asleep in his little bassinet next to her side of the bed. Grace was thrilled to be home.


	72. Chapter 72

Okay this is it! Hope you all enjoyed. This story took so many twists and turns and I am thankful it's done. I like to end things on a happy note. Please review! They are very much appreciated.

 **Five Years Later**

Chapter 72

Mike made sure Grace and Ryan had everything they needed, locked up, checked on all the younger kids and stuck his head into Hannah's bedroom to tell her goodnight. He was beyond thrilled to have Grace, Ryan and Mikey under his roof. It had been over ten years since the Red Flu had hit and killed so many people, including his oldest son. The country and the world had rebuilt and his family was stronger. Five years before he had moved into the house and thought he would never need all four bedrooms. Since, he had built on two rooms and the kids were outgrowing that.

It had not been an easy six months. Polly's attacker had surfaced and somehow had found out that it was Polly that he had raped, where she lived and the fact that a child had resulted from the attack. Because record keeping had been put on a back shelf after the Red Flu, he would never do time for his crime. He had created havoc within their family and community. Max had paid a huge price and the poor kid was just starting to sleep through the night without having nightmares about his biological father hurting him or the rest of the family. He'd leaned on Mike throughout the entire time because he didn't want to tell him mom what his fears were.

Mike and Polly's marriage had suffered. Things were considerably better now but for a while Mike was afraid he would end up divorced. She had suspected that he had killed her attacker, something she couldn't justify due to being a pastor. A month after the judge had overruled the attacker's custody claims; he contacted their attorney asking for visitation. It solidified Mike, Tom and Alec's claims that they had not killed him. After being reminded by the attorney and the judge that he was to have no contact with Polly or Max, he left the state. Hannah, being the generous person she was and knowing that her parent's marriage was going down the drain, gifted them with an all expenses paid trip to the Bahamas. She had been saving her money to buy a new car but decided her parent's happiness was more important. She had gone all out on the trip and Mike and Polly were both beyond grateful.

It was an amazing trip and Mike and Polly worked out a lot of issues and came back even more in love then what they had been in before they left. They hadn't taken any time since the twins were born and it had not done their relationship any favors. Hannah had managed all the younger kids the entire time and was thrilled to see Mike and Polly so happy again. Mike had almost refused to go but Hannah had thrown a fit and insisted. He didn't want to spend his daughter's money that had she had worked incredibly hard for. She had sat both of them on the couch and begged them to go. Mike was still saying no until she started crying. He was done then. Polly was thrilled to go and repair her marriage.

The other kids were doing well. They were healthy and happy and that was all that Mike really wanted. He and Matty were extremely close despite Matty's sometimes poor attitude. Mike always worried about his bond with him since he hadn't been around during Matty's more formative years but he was blessed with a very accepting son. He also had an amazing relationship with Max and Tommy. Gabby and Rebecca were both beautiful and looked more like their mom every day. He would have his hands full when they got older.

Maggie and Alec were still close friends as well as family members. Mike was thrilled to be sharing a grandson with them. He had finally given into Alec's begging and had temporarily filled the job that Grace had vacated. The temporary job had lasted five years when Ryan's deployment was extended but Mike would be thrilled to be retired again as soon as Grace was ready to go back to work. She had already mentioned it. She had been concerned about finding a babysitter she trusted with Mikey, which had caused a lot of laughter at dinner. The little guy was already very much loved by both sets of grandparents and aunts and uncles. Babysitting would not be an issue.

Tom and Sasha still lived next door and Mike and Tom frequently went fishing. There were publishers contacting both of them constantly trying to get them to write the story of the Nathan James. They both refused until a couple really bad books were written about the mission to save the world. They wanted the story told properly and with the Navy's go ahead and the President's blessing, they co-authored a book. It would be hitting the shelves after the first of the year. Both men hoped it would dispel any rumors that had developed.

After being adequately satisfied that his family was safe for the night and that the kids were sound asleep, he headed into his and Polly's room. She was still awake, reading her Bible, as was her nightly habit. Mike changed out of his clothes, wearing just a pair of pajama pants. It was normal for at least one of the kids to end up with them.

As soon as he laid down next to Polly, she sit her Bible on the nightstand and laid her head on his chest. He twisted her curls around his fingers and shut the light off. It was only a matter of time before one of the kids ended up in their bed. He always thought about Lucas around Christmas and it always brought tears. Despite all the happiness, it did create some sadness and it always would. He also missed Christine. She would be absolutely thrilled with their grandson and how their daughters had turned out and how Matty was growing up. Polly reached up and wiped the tear that had escaped off Mike's cheek. She understood what it was for and wrapped both arms around him. He was completely happy.


End file.
